"One to be born from a dragon..." -- Let's Play Final Fantasy II

Obscenely low?

I agree with the sentiment, but I have to counter that there ARE some games that people do actually agree are RPGs that do not have a menu that prevents you from attacking a foe.

I mean, this definition would claim that Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate, WoW, and Diablo were not RPGs, even if we assume that Deus Ex and Borderlands actually aren't RPGs at all.

So we just go back to the fact that "RPG" is this hugely nebulous definition that seems to basically be centered around a game system that uses some kind of statistic to determine something/everything, and includes character advancement systems of some fashion or another.

Basically, RPG is the dump genre of gaming. Can't easily define it? It's an RPG.

I thought action-adventure was the dump genre.

Katamari Damacy: The RPG!

Those are games that either use a non-text menu to hit something (Vagrant Story), or use a menu to do things other than hit something (Secret of Mana, Kingdom Hearts). Using a menu to swap out weapons, armor, and items does not count, so for me, Zelda and Castlevania have never felt like RPGs.

Also, full disclosure: I've never played a PC RPG or PC-style RPG for more than ten minutes. Someone tell me how combat normally works and I can hopefully revise my definition accordingly.

Right now, I'm at "Games where you don't so much press a button to hit something as press a button to tell your character what to hit and how."

MOAR GIFS NAO

Is it really offensive though? I mean, if you started calling burgers "American sandwiches," I'd find it a bit odd, but I certainly wouldn't be offended. If anything, I think I'd get a laugh out of it the first time I heard it, before just accepting it as part of that country's nomenclature.

If Canadians started calling hamburgers "American sandwiches" I think it'd be adorable.

Canadians are adorable. Especially when they say things like "fucking eh".

Shh! Stop yer arguin' aboot RPGs, eh? I'm tryin' t' watch th' hockey!

Well, what we called RPG's got it's name because it borrowed the setting and stat rules, of pen paper ROLE PLAYING games in which you acted out a part/stated your actions of an imagined character to a human being who then unfolded the game accordingly.

There is little to no ROLE PLAYING in JRPGs, there is barely any in Western RPGs but Fallout 3/Elder Scrolls do a increasingly respectable job of letting you become a goodie/baddie according to your choices.

With FF, DQ you're not doing in more role playing than you are in any other video game. (Watch me role play a tetrad, or mario etc.)

But of course, trying to pigeon hole each game does more harm than good...you like it or you don't -- your choice isn't superior/inferior to anyone elses, it be a preference BABY ♥

That said we may want to make a seperate 'what is a RPG thread', we should be exploring all the crannies & cracks of FF2 in this one.

But if we did that, we'd have a "what is a RPG" thread, and be honor-bound to destroy said thread because that conversation cannot be resolved.

The meaning of the term RPG is as nebulous as the meaning of life.

That's right, I just compared RPGs to the meaning of life.

Deal with it.

Oh, Talking Time. Why must you tempt me so?

So the question is "What is an RPG"

And the answer is "We just don't know".

Well PLAYED, Lancer.

An RPG is a rocket launcher, nerds.

It's a Rocket Propelled Grenade, for your information.

Once I learned both meanings of the term, I imagined a Tiny Toons scene in which the guys are playing soldiers in the woods and when somebody yells "Get down! RPGs!" they get knocked over by board games and floppy disks.

Actually, that's a backronym. The original Russian (which escapes me) means something to the effect of "Portable Anti-Tank Grenade/Grenade Launcher."

/nerd

Ручной Противотанковый Гранатомёт

Ruchnoy Protivotankovy Granatomyot

A miserable little pile of stats.

Smashing first post! Welcome.

These adapters are great for playing snes/sfc emu with a jinuwine controller:

http://www.retrousb.com/product_info...products_id=29

It launches rockets.

Early plans for a companion weapon in the form of a Grenade-Propelled Rocket were scrapped after one disastrous test.

Said footage is nonetheless hilarious.

Nonsense. It wasn't considered a weapon at all, and though nobody's actually been crazy enough to build one, most think that it would actually work pretty well.

WARNING! This is the longest, most action-packed LPFF2 update yet. Go fix yourself a snack, a cup of coffee, and get comfy. We got lots of underground to cover.



Very quickly after entering this strange new world inside the world, the Enterprise is set upon by the long-lost Red Wings.

...or are they?


♪♪ Ring of Bomb ♪♪

On the contrary, the Red Wings don't seem to have noticed the Enterprise at all. Rather, they seem to be duking out with an army of stylish yellow tanks.


Unfortunately, it is a SCIENCE FACT that bombs and missiles and whatnot tend to explode whether they were launched with you in mind or not. The Enterprise sustains heavy damage, and Cid has no choice but to make an emergency crash landing.


Oddly enough, Cecil seems to have been the only one hurt in the crash.

Well, there's nothin' for it. We'll just have to get off here and search for the Dark Crystals on foot...


♪♪ Land of Dwarves ♪♪

I like all of FF2's soundtrack; this is a universal axiom. Every song is delightful, and the soundtrack as a whole stands above the rest of the SNES landscape. And if FF2 is one of the shining pillars of musical quality from the 16-bit era, Land of Dwarves is one of the most glorious, beautiful points of light upon that pillar.

First of all, the song is good. I mean, just listen to it! Such a cheerful little tune, just a treat for your ear-holes. And second, it's a remix of the game's main theme, a more playful take on the more somber music from the Overworld-above. (I may have made this point before. Updates are so spread out now that I'm afraid I'm repeating myself.)

Aside from that, though, the song helps craft the Underground as not just a new location in the game, but a totally new level of the game. There is a certain progression you become accustomed to in RPGs, you see. In FF1, for example, you start out confined to a tiny block of land. Then you fix a bridge, and can reach the far ends of the continent. Then you get a boat, and can sail the Newbie Sea. And on from there.

And FF2 has done that, albeit in a more controlled way. You start in Baron, which is quickly closed off to you. Then you have a desert. You cross the desert and get a Hoovercraft, which opens new areas. A plot contrivance takes you to a new continent, and before long you have the Enterprise. From there the whole world is open to you. The whole world, even though you are still relatively early in the game.

The Underground, then, offers a brand new way to explore an RPG world. You're not just expanding your stomping grounds; you are literally leaving one world for another. Absolutely every facet of game design is bent towards bringing you into this new world; the slate is wiped clean. There are new rules now. You had mastered one map, but now here you are, confined again to a tiny block of land.

This was a brand new sensation to me. It took my breath away.

In the Underground, the oceans aren't made of flowing water, but glowing lava. There are no forests, but there are cracks in the ground which ooze magma. The mountains are flat-topped plateaus. The whole map has walls around it. And, of course, the music has mutated right along with everything else.

And the people? Well...


♪♪ Giott, the Great King ♪♪

The people are these lovable, doofy, cheery dwarf-types. In their honor, the rest of this update comes hobbling at you in earthy, hardy Underbrown. Lali-ho!

See, the whole flavor of the Underground is very different from up above. The whole world up to this point has been a dour, urgent place. Cecil has rushed around, chasing destruction from one castle to the next. The people he meets are either oppressed, indifferent, or in dire peril.

But not the dwarves! Dwarfland is a happy place, full of warm greetings, full bellies and bellowing horns.

Oh, and before I go any further, take heed: some spoilsport is going to come along muttering something about "rally ho". Don't listen to them. Dwarven Kool-Aid is the best of all.


Aw, isn't that cute! Wookit the widdle dwarf girl, with the pigtails, and the empty black face, and the ominously-glowing yellow eyes.

Absowutewy pwecious.

Most of Dwarfland is closed to us; guardsdwarves have the stairways to the more interesting areas (read: loot) blocked off. Most of them seem pretty keen on us visiting the king first. Which, you know, isn't a bad idea. Someone's gotta pay for this broken airship!


Before that, though, it seems like the thing to do is pile up all Cid's equipment and put him in the center position on the back line. Cid doesn't seem to mind this odd turn of events, possibly because he is drunk.

Take note of how much time I've been playing, so far. It may seem like I've covered a lot of game, but things are just heating up.


The first words out of King Giott's mouth are "Glad you're fine!", which I've always felt made absolutely perfect sense. This is another of those somewhat awkward lines of dialogue you just can't help but love. It's not even really a greeting, or an apology, or even a statement of relief. I've always read it as a mark of friendly approval.

"Your majesty! Lali-ho!"

"Lali-ho!"

"Remember that friendly yellow boat we shot down? And then crashed horribly just outside our castle?"

"Of course I do!"

"Some folks have climbed out of the wreckage and are here to see you!"

"Oh yeah? That's damn impressive! Send 'em in! Lali-ho! Send for ale!"


Giott treats Cecil and the gang like old friends. I bet he's the type of jolly ol' king who treats everyone like old friends. He seems to be quite impressed with the magical flying vessel us hyoo-mans drive around. He offers to fix the airship for us, but Cid declines; even if the Enterprise were in working order, it'd still have melted before long, anyway.

Something tells me Cid knew about this tiny little design flaw ahead of time, and his plan for dealing with it was something like, "Fuck it, we'll figure something out. I got duct tape."


=(


Well, okay, so Cid's got our airship on back order. In the meantime, the conversation turns to the Dark Crystals. Giott admits that though the dwarves fought valiantly against Golbez's forces, two of the crystals have already been taken. The third is here in the castle, guarded by his majesty himself. And the fourth--


...uh, Yang? You okay buddy?




Yang's KARATE-sense is tingling like a motherfucker, so Giott orders the crystal chamber opened up. The heroes filter in, single-file-like, to see what the haps is.


As soon as they step inside, the door slams shut behind them. It's a trap!

The Calbrena fight is a little irritating, if for no reason other than how simple it would have been even one dungeon ago. Tellah could have knocked all these guys out in two turns. The Brenas only have a couple hundred HPs, the Cals an attack or two more. If you want to make life easy on yourself, you'll try to take out all six as quickly as possible.

Slowing the dolls reduces the number of turns each one gets, so you aren't being constantly attacked by piddly little doll-slaps.


This is also one of the only fights in the game I really like Yang's Kick ability; three Kicks is enough to take out all the Brenas, leaving Cecil and Kain to concentrate on the Cals.


♪♪ Fight 2 ♪♪

Without Black Magic, though, time is just not on your side. Even if only one single doll is left alive, eventually the collective will morph into this terrifying doll-golem.

And don't even think about trying to find some crazy way to sneak Black Magic into this fight. It's just not possible by any stretch of the imagination. There aren't any items in this game that cast spells, you see.