"One to be born from a dragon..." -- Let's Play Final Fantasy II

♪♪ The Lunarians ♪♪

Either Golbez feels great amounts of shame and regret for his actions, or he's a sleazeball looking to avoid standing trial. Either way, I'll bet Cecil lets him get away with it.


Although I must say, he's doing a pretty good job feigning sincerity if he's just looking to duck punishment. It actually stings a bit, watching the warlock who terrorized me for most of the game all but trip over himself apologizing. Cecil is equally flummoxed as to how to respond to the situation. He's not able to bring himself to give his brother a proper good-bye.


Not one for long good-byes himself, FuSoYa gives us a Vulcan salute and begins dragging Golbez away to the Lunarian cryo-stasis chambers.


Meanwhile, the three people onhand who have suffered most at the claws of Golbez's tyranny all urge Cecil to let bygones be bygones.


After another moment of introspection...


...Cecil manages to man up...


...and acknowledge Golbez as his brother.

With the villain defeated and our heroes departing for home, we're treated to this lovely shot of the solar system while the Mysidian Legend drifts by, with one small addition...


And it'd better find it quick! I don't know how much longer that tiny, anemic sun has left before it up and sputters out for good!


♪♪ Epilogue 2 ♪♪

Neither Cecil nor any of his friends could think of a practical reason to continue using space flight, so they decide to put the Big Whale back in the ocean where they found it. Once it's submerged, their epic adventure has, at long last, come to an end.

All that remains is the happy, corny "Where Are They Now?" section of the epilogue, which details how the various cast members are getting along now that all evil has been obliterated for all time. These don't really need any commentary from me, so to spice them up a bit I'll share some details from an ultra-shitty FF2 fanfic I found once. Please enjoy!

You can tell where you stand with a woman based on whether or not you're invited to her wedding. In particular, you'll note Rosa invited six generic mages but not her own mother.


Edge arrives, showing he has perhaps learned something of the dignity and honor afforded by his high station...


...and then immediately begins flirting with the bride. Way to keep it classy, Edge!


Cid drags him away and, not wanting to endure another jumpy-spinny battle, Edge shuts up and promises to behave.

The dwarves arrive next, but they don't do anything amusing.


Yang nods his approval to the mostly-empty room, signifying that not everyone is worth of polite KARATE social gestures.

Yang's wife wasn't invited because her husband became upset when he learned she gave away most of their kitchenware.


The kids arrive unchaperoned. Since there's a magical passageway linking their town with Cecil's, they keep dropping in unannounced. It's annoying as all hell but you can't exactly tell someone who rescued you from being crushed to death to leave you alone, you know?


Palom decides he wants to try out the throne, providing me this excellent opportunity to make one more powpowpow gif. Watching a five-year-old girl bludgeon her brother into submission is the rough equivalent of watching your weird uncle pass out in the punch bowl. Aren't weddings fun?


The twins' babysitter finally shows up, but doesn't make any attempt to prevent Palom from macking on the little dwarf girl. Instead, Porom moves in to cockblock, which I think makes her at least a little racist.


Edward is here for the ceremony, but during the reception he and his band Jammin' Eddie and the Sandpedes will be tearin' it up with their pleasant fusion of bardic lyricism and bitchin' electric harp solos.


Rydia is last to arrive. Edge refuses to even look at her, because he is a smooth operator.

"Hey Edge, what's up?"

"OMIGOD THE CUTE GIRL OF MY DREAMS IS TALKING TO ME WHAT DO I DO"

"Listen, sorry I called you a hot shot that one time, and that I said Zemus should have used you as his vessel of evil. I was kind of in a weird mood. No hard feelings, right? Still friends?"

"SHE'S SO HOT WHY DOES SHE MAKE ME FEEL ALL FUNNY DOWN IN THE PANTS-AREA"


In Cecil's world, nobody actually presides over the wedding ceremony, and instead of kissing the bride, you're just supposed to gaze awkwardly into her eyes for a certain period of time. (The exact length and level of awkwardness varies by denomination.)

It is then traditional for all the guests to line up:



And then...


...everybody wave!

(Unless you're a dumb NPC and the artists didn't bother drawing you a wave sprite. In that case you're supposed to just stand there quietly while the waving concludes.)

I can't! I don't know anything else! I mean I guess I could share how to do the dupe trick that gives you infinite Excaliburs, but I don't actually know how to do it. I guess I could look it up. But what's the fun in that?

I guess I was supposed to finish this off with an exposé on the critical hit bug, but someone already spoiled it way upthread somewhere. It actually wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be; certain classes of weapon have a "no crit" value which, once applied to your character (by equipping them with that type of weapon) is permanent. Such weapons include axes and whips. Ho hum. A character also loses his crit ability if his spot in the party is overriden with a dummy character for the purposes of a storyline fight. For example, if you scroll up and look at the positioning during the scripted Zemus battles, you'll see that FuSoYa steps into Edge's position. I ran some tests and, sure enough, this means Edge loses his ability to crit in the very final battle. I didn't see one crit in close to a hundred attempts, while he tended to get quite a lot of them beforehand.

So that's it. Not with a bang, but a whimper. I just don't have any more arcane FF2 knowledge to share.

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Unless...


BAM!! Chocobo Village is shaped like a chocobo! YOUR FACE = ROCKED.

Brickroad out! See you stooges next time!


Next: "This is a story about royal soldiers of a small country called Burland."

Fantabulous! 5 Stars! Would read again!

Though I was kinda hoping you would mention whether or not hitting Zeromus with Slow in the Final Battle was worthwhile or not. I seem to recall some talk about it actually reducing the damage of Big Bang somehow, but I have no idea if that's true or not.

Then again, Rosa likely wouldn't have time with all the Cure 4s she has to throw around.

WHATcaps

WHATcapsagain

It's kind of weird to see the LP I joined the forum to comment on finally finish.

I look forward to the next five years of watching the royal knights of Burland slowly walk from town to town.

Who knew that two years could go by so fast?

Bravo Brickroad, you have done the best Final Fantasy right with this LP.

That was excellent. I love hearing about all the small details and minutia that make a game like this interesting.

Maybe now I can get up the resolve to finally finish the game! I always lose interest around the moon.

Only time I've managed to push through to the end was on the GBA version. The final dungeon isn't too horribly huge except I count the whole moon as final dungeon as well so it's really annoying.

Oh and that fanfic sounds terrible.

Well, you beat me to the punch on finishing the other FF2 LP, albeit by a mere few hours (hopefully). Congratulations, Brickroad, on another fantastic job well done! Also, how did I never notice that bit about Chocobo Forest?

That fanfic doesn't sound too bad, really. I mean, it's not like they decided to include characters from the other games in the series, right?

...Oh, really?

...Well, crap.

And thus did the longest and most epic of TTLPs come to a close. When future generations read this in the archives they will not be able to fully appreciate the months of waiting between updates and the joy of photoshoping tiny sprites on skateboards or peeing.

Good job, bravo, thanks, etc.




Some Google-fu tells me that sometimes in older games they would use "W" to sub for "double," as in "double meteo," and indeed that it called "twin meteor" in later versions.

Also apparently the Breath counters magic with Break, which is still not very threatening.

I don't know why but I remember my mind being slightly blown by the "Kain's blond hair flowing in the breeze" shot. I think Kain being blond didn't compute for me. Traitors should always have black hair, right?

My guess was that the W. stood for White, as in some sort of White magic version of Meteo. Therefore holier. Interesting to hear the real explanation though!

Delightful LP!

I always thought it was White Meteo myself as a kid until I played a later version that called it Twin Meteor. Oh well.

Can I just say how disappointed I am that the retranslations changed Meteo into Meteor? Listen. "Meteo" is the ultimate black magic. "Meteor" is a space rock.

It was especially bad in FF6, which had Meteo and Meteor as separate attacks.

That's a fist pump and you know it.

Bravo sir!

I am weirdly sad that this LP has ended.

It's actually worse, because they were BOTH meteor, just one is a black magic and the other is an enemy ability.

Also it was super cool reading you gush about this game for like two years Brickroad. Thanks for the entertainment~

Fantastic. I can't play the music for this update at work, but thankfully I don't really need to, it plays in my head watching those scenes.

Seriously? Because you already teased us once with that in your YouTube channel.

. . . nobody likes a tease Brickroad.

Sure does! It's good that Square never adapts fanfics into games.

Meteo is actually a shortening and misspelling of San Mateo, a small town in New Mexico near a nuclear test site. A small meteor has comparable explosive power to a nuclear bomb, so Square just named the spell after the town. Like a lot of other things in the game, the US version got the name of the spell wrong, which is ironic considering that its named after an American town.

(you should possibly check the LP signup thread)