The Mega(man) Battle Network LP!

Self-satisfaction?

Eh, beats having to play the game myself.

Speaking of, have we mentioned that you're a madman? Because you are.

Wow, this thread brought back memories!

MMBN2 is the very first game I bought for my GBA, and I loved it. Then, I bought 3 (Blue version, if I recall correctly) and also like it very much. Juvenile games, for sure, but I dig the battle system, music, and homage to the classic series.

Can't wait to see you start doing 5, the one that I never got the chance to play because 4 absolutely destroyed my faith in everything good and beautiful in the world.

I wanted to put that in script format, but how do I distinguish between two kinds of ellipses?

Lan: …MegaMan! Is that you?!



Those blue orbs are actually Barrier chips, and inside them are Glyde, Gutsman, and Roll. You just can’t see them inside because the animators decided to be lazy and have the barriers just flicker.

Music: Under Justice

Roll: Hi Mega! Saved in a flash! | Just one shot to destroy a sturdy barrier like that. | Nothing can withstand this!

I think Roll is supposed to be expressing surprise that the explosion took down a triple barrier, but I have no idea what that last line is supposed to mean.

Glyde: Lan’s father told us of the situation by mail.

Oh, that’s great. Did he also provide you with the key to Town 4? While we’re at it, where the hell did you guys come from? During the explosion, nobody was there, and there wasn’t a jack in sound so you guys didn’t steal Protoman’s trick and just warp directly to Megaman.

GutsMan: Only you can save the planet, MegaMan!
MegaMan: Thank you all…!

Oh, you’re not going to explain anything. Typical.

Dex: Leave things to us!
Yai: You’re the planet’s only hope, so go and | do what’s needed!



I love that random ellipse. “We all believe… in you, I guess.”

Mayl: No matter what!
Lan: Dex… Yai… Mayl | ……You guys! By just being here, you make me feel invincible!

I have to admit, if I always hung around people much more pathetic than I, I’d probably feel pretty good too.

Lan: Just wait and see. I’m going to save our world!

Again.

Lan: MegaMan, let’s get back to NAXA!
MegaMan: OK! Thank you all!

Megaman jacks out.



So I’d like to mention that the Transmtr, which has a pretty odd description, is in no way damaged. Yet for some odd reason as soon as that explosion went off it stopped working. I’d also like to mention that nobody at NAXA even thought about trying to contact Lan to confirm Megaman’s deletion.

Seriously, the people at NAXA? Worst. Saviors. Ever.



While I’m in the Key Items screen, I may as well point out some hilarious typos. That‘s right, in the Battle Network universe, you get a trophy just for being a citizen!



Also, Lan never gave this back, so that NetFrican village can’t repeat the Water God Quest.



Says the man at the information desk. Anyways, that NPC in the green shirt down there has something for us.

NPC: You must be Lan! Dr. Hikari and the others are on the | roof. Go up the stairs, then take the elevator. Oh yes, Dr. | Hikari asked me to give this to you.



Because e-mails are for chumps.

NPC: Now hurry along!

Music: Nothing



Regal: We will now prepare to send the Navi. | Large voltages will be generated, | so please move down from the platform.
Boss: Yes, you’re right. Good luck. | OK, everyone. Let’s go down and leave Dr. Regal to work.



Yuichiro starts to leave as well, but he’s interrupted by



Regal finally dropping his flimsy disguise as a good guy.

Yuichiro: ……
Regal: Mr. Hikari, is something wrong? | Please go down.
Yuichiro: I just wanted to see your expression to make sure… | This plan is terminated!
Regal: …What do you mean?

Yuichiro turns around and moves closer to Regal.

Yuichiro: Failure of the first laser plan… | Proposal of the Navi plan… | MegaMan’s deletion… | and now, transmission of your Navi to the asteroid. | Everything has worked out perfectly for your scheming.
Regal: What are you saying?
Yuichiro: What do you need the asteroid for?

Hey, Yuichiro? You know when you should have made this accusation? Before the Navi plan was two seconds away from starting.



I think it’s required for Megaman villains to give evil laughs.

Regal: Well spotted, Mr. Hikari.

So you know how Regal just finished laughing?



His sprite was a little slow on the uptake.

Music: The Quiet Darkness

Regal: But how will knowing my motive help you? Will you stop me? | Stopping me won’t prevent the approach of the asteroid. | You don’t have a shred of hope.
Yuichiro: You’re wrong! Our hope has not been deleted!!

At this point, the elevator Lan was in finally reaches the roof. Lan immediately dashes out.



Huh, the thought-to-be-dead-world-saving kid is alive? Who cares.

Lan: Dad!!
Regal: Lan?!



Guess what’s wrong with this image.

Yuichiro: MegaMan is alive!
Regal: But you’re too late already. | Grin!!



Yes, Regal said that out loud.

Lan: Wait there for me!

Regal raises one of his arms in the air.

Yuichiro: Lan! No, don’t!! Go back!!



Lan: Huh?!



Apparently, Regal set explosives up on the roof at some point without being noticed. Why did he do it and how was he not noticed? Who knows.

Music: Incident Occurrence (Count: 18)

Lan: Aaahh!!
Yuichiro: Run!!
Lan: Uwaaaah!!

Lan proceeds to run down the ramp



and jump over the explosions. Because he can do that.

The ramp falls down and a loud crash is immediately heard, despite the fact that by all logic it should have at least taken a couple of seconds.

Boss: What’s happening!
Shilley: N-N-Not Nebula again!!
Yuichiro: Lan!! Are you OK!!
Lan: I’m OK!! | Ah!! Dad, behind you!!

Offscreen, Regal slams Yuichiro. I say “slam” because that’s the sound effect the game provides.

Yuichiro: Uuuuh!!
Lan: Dad!!

The camera scrolls back to Regal and the unconscious Yuichiro.

Regal: My dear friends, it is I, Regal, | Leader of DarkChip Syndicate Nebula, | who shall own the asteroid!!
Lan: W-What did you say! | You’re the leader of Nebula?!
Regal: That title now sounds so dated. | Today, as I wield the asteroids’ power, | I shall be known as Master of the World! | A pure evil world!

Don’t expect an explanation as to how Regal intends to use the asteroid to achieve world domination.

Regal: A world with no law, no borders, and no right or wrong. | No-one can stop me now! | I will now execute our true desire, The Plan of Darkness!!



Regal: …Jack in!! LaserMan, Execute!!

You wanted a prize, right Kalir?



Here’s Regal’s saluting you.

LaserMan: Wooooooah!



Wasn’t the laser broken?



I’m posting more images than this new format calls for solely because Regal is just that ridiculous. Half the stuff that comes out of his mouth is absurd nonsense, and we‘re supposed to take him seriously.

Regal: Hah hah hah… Wa-ha-ha-ha-haa!!
Boss: I-I don’t believe it… Dr. Regal…
Lan: Is there nothing we can do?!
MegaMan: Remember, Lan! Dad’s letter! | It should contain a hint!
Lan: Yes, you’re right! | Eh…



Lan: The generator…?

NPC: Don’t be stupid! It’s too dangerous to jack into that! | It has already been charged to tens of thousands of volts!

So? It’s not the voltage of the electricity that kills, it’s… something I can’t remember. Damn.

Lan: Don’t worry! | Somebody has to do something. | We’re going to save this planet.
NPC: Yes, Lan!

Lan: Let’s go, MegaMan! Are you ready!
MegaMan: Sure am! Let’s do it, Lan!



This time, the jack in animation moves the camera along the path Megaman’s taking.

Music: Save Our Planet (You should listen to this)



MegaMan: Yeah, the jack in was no problem.
Lan: Good, now get after Regal’s Navi!!
MegaMan: Roger! Operate me well!

Meteor Computer has a decent puzzle, but an extremely stupid gimmick. First, the puzzle.



To unlock the door to the next area, you just have to go over all of the dotted panels. However, you have to go over them in numerical order, starting from the one with one dot. If you don‘t…



Space and time warp and Megaman is sent back to the beginning, and any progress he’s made is reset.





Doing things right will open the way to the next area.



If you take too long, however, this will happen. To avoid being sucked in and being forced to start over, the player has to mash buttons. It doesn’t matter what button, you just need to mash buttons as fast as possible.

Oh, and do note that “too long” would be about the time it takes to run over one dotted panel if you’re looking for the BMDs. And even if you aim for the dotted panels first, the dungeon bans you from going over dotted panels you‘ve already activated, so you’re often forced to take longer side paths. And for the cherry on top, this will keep on happening until you open the path to the next room.



Good thing I have autofire.

The BMDs of Meteor Computer held a Geddon 1 W, a HP Memory, a High Cannon D, a Wide Blade K, a Regular Up 3, 1800 Z, a Counter 2 L, a Bug Fragment, a Full Energy, an Attack +1 program, a Variable Sword V, and a Recover 120 F.

Megaman, you’ve seen three of these already.

MegaMan: Regal’s Navi must be inside…
LaserMan: So you’ve come.
MegaMan: Show yourself, LaserMan!

Music: Versus

Laserman once again appears through a portal of static.

LaserMan: We meet again, MegaMan. | The asteroid control room is inside that warp hole. | I’ll ask you again. | Will you wield your power with us in the Syndicate? | You have but two choices. | Come with me into the warp hole and rule the world, | or… | Be torn limb from limb!!
MegaMan: I’ve already answered you! | I will not be a part of your evil!
LaserMan: As I suspected… | Stupid Navi! Your side is doomed to failure.



Yes, yes you are. Hell, you’re pretty much using the same folder too. The only difference is your Navi Customizer, and even there it’s not much because I still don’t have the necessary Spin Colors.



What.



Oh, it’s a joke about Soul Unisons. This will be hilarious for Alpha Werewolf’s run.

LaserMan: Ha! The warmth of souls indeed… | …Listen to me. | That feeble power is no match for the power of evil… | I’ll teach you!
MegaMan: Lan, he’s coming!!
Lan: Show him the power of good!! | Battle routine, set!!
MegaMan: Execute!!
LaserMan: Prepare to become space dust!

Music: Battle With Myself



Laserman has Super Armor. That, in and of itself, makes this battle twice as hard as the average boss battle. But really, I’m not that surprised. Laserman in general is just one tremendous douchebag.



First off is Laserman‘s most common attack. This thing comes out fast, so it can be a pain to dodge without Invisible. It’s real threat is how it cracks the panel in the center of the cross.



Next, Laserman has the ability to shoot a giant laser into the air. This laser apparently hits a ceiling or something because bits of rock start falling down. These pieces of rock conveniently follow Megaman‘s position.



Occasionally, Laserman will stick his hand out. This is your warning to get the hell out of his row before he hits you with a Kamehameha. If this (time freezing and Invisible piercing) move does hit you, all of your Navi Customizer programs (except HP +) are disabled.

Whether or not Laserman uses this move seems to be random. I’ve seen him spam it more often than his cross laser, but during the video I recorded he never used it.



Finally, at low HP Laserman will create a Hole two panels in front of him. As long as the Hole is on the field, Laserman will constantly regenerate health. Do note the Hole goes away as soon as Megaman steps on it.

The most annoying part of the Laserman fight is something that can’t be captured easily. You see, whenever Laserman moves he’s completely invincible. To see how annoying this is, check out the video.



LaserMan: …A-Aaaaah!! | I-It’s… over……… everything! | MegaMan, your hate for me… will allow your DarkSoul… | …to be reborn.

But it never died.



LaserMan: Your DarkSoul… | …Aaaah! | Uwaaaaaaaa!



Unlike pretty much every other jerkass BN boss, Laserman is not filled with humiliation at his defeat.

MegaMan: …… My DarkSoul…

The scene changes to the real world. Incident Occurrence is still playing.

Regal: Heh heh heh… | Ha ha ha! Lan! | This’ll blow our last chance to avoid the asteroid.

Likewise, Regal does not exclaim at the impossibility that he could be defeated. This game really goes out of its way to suck enjoyment out.

Lan: Whadaya mean?!
Regal: The plan originally called for sending my Navi. | My Navi would succeeded for sure. | A Navi like yours couldn’t possibly control an asteroid. | The planet’s doomed thanks to your stupid reasoning. | Ha ha ha!!
Lan: We won’t know until we try! | We won’t ever give up!



Lan: We must change the asteroid’s course!
MegaMan: OK, Lan, I’m going!

Next time: Lan and Megaman save the world. Again.

Current Folder

Heat Shot C x3
Wide Shot 1 C x3
Twin Fang 1 C x3
Magnet Bolt 1 C x4
Variable Sword V x4
Air Hockey 1 F x3
Air Hockey 3 V
Blinder *
Invisible * x2 - REGULAR
Attack +10 * x3
Full Custom *
ProtoMan B
Gun Del Sol EX G

Total codes (not counting * code): 5



Battle with LaserMan.EXE

…⋮⋯⋰⋱ (U+2026, U+20EE-F1)
Isn't that actually a benefit of being Pure Light-karma?

I have no idea. I've never tried a Low Karma route. Hopefully Alpha Werewolf will have an answer.

Alright, let’s finish up destroying this meteor so Lan can go the next tournament.



Not. As the customary “You Can‘t Save“ warning hints, I‘ve reached the end of the game.



For no well explained reason, the Control Area is red.



Also, while you’re running through it you will encounter two Circle Kills. There is no way to avoid having this battle.



GOD DAMN IT. If you don‘t have a Blinder or Invisible chip, the double Circle Kill battle is undeniably the most annoying random encounter in the game.

MegaMan: Lan! That must be the control system.



MegaMan: Wonder how we can get in there?
Lan: Argh! And we were so close…



Lan: Careful, MegaMan! You’re not alone!

Music: Versus





MegaMan: Anti-planet missile? | Whadaya got against our planet?
Duo: The only command | in memory is to judge and destroy evil. | A massive amount of evil’s been detected on your planet. | It is you humans. | You are highly intelligent, but have evil in your hearts. | I must punish your planet according to my program.

In other words, humans are capable of being evil. That is the reason the Earth is going to be destroyed. This is in no way a total overreaction, and is certainly not an evil deed in and of itself.

MegaMan: What?! | I’m not gonna let you do that! | This ends here!
Duo: …How interesting. | Let’s just see how powerful you really are. | Do you have the power to wipe out your own evil?

Duo rises into the air. Then…



MegaMan: Aaahhhh!!

Megaman’s shadow extends and forms into a copy of him.

Lan: MegaMan, behind you!



Personally, I think this is a translation error. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Duo: Bring it on. | Show me what ya got.
Lan: Listen up, MegaMan! This is a battle against yourself!
MegaMan: OK! Operate away!
Lan: Leave it to me! Here we go, MegaMan! | Battle routine set!!
MegaMan: Execute!

Music: Battle With Myself

I wish Battle With Myself only played for DS bosses. Then its title would make sense.



Megaman’s Dark Soul is basically the Aquaman DS fight, only instead of Aquaman’s attacks there’s just the buster. This battle’s difficulty depends on how long it lasts; the longer it takes you to delete your Dark Soul, the more time it has to bust out devastatingly strong chips you’ve only used once.

Oh, and unless you’re totally insane it’s probably going to be spamming the crap out of Invisible. If you’re playing Red Sun and have Search Soul, that’s no problem. If you’re playing Blue Moon…

Music: Nothing



The Dark Soul returns to Megaman.

Duo: So you managed to defeat the evil within… | A fine battle. | However, you only succeeded in repressing your evilness. | It is gone for now, but it will likely | reawaken one day. | In short, you are not powerful enough to defeat evil.



Remember this speech.

MegaMan: No duh! | The important thing is to whether you | can fight your own evil when it wakes!

By the way, I’ve always found this game’s treatment of Dark Souls as this terrible, unnatural thing to be extremely odd. A Dark Soul is simply the embodiment of a person’s negative thoughts, and I don’t know a single person who hasn’t had at least one of those. The thing is, negative =/= evil. In fact, every time Megaman’s Dark Soul has shown up, it had to be forced out, and it immediately returned to Megaman as soon as it could. It’s not evil, it’s just a part of him.

Duo: My mission is to destroy evil, even if | it means annihilating the human race.
MegaMan: I won’t let you do that! | This ends here!
Duo: I am only following my program. | I must destroy you because of the evil you have within.

Duo rises up. As a fun fact, the sound that plays as he does is the sound Dark Chips make when you move your cursor over them on the Custom Screen.

Duo: Raaawr! | Battle body! | Right arm!! | Left arm!! | Duo, battle form!



I’d like to note that the “battle form” is just those ear things.

The screen begins to shake.

MegaMan: Lan!
Lan: I know. We gotta save the planet! | Here we go MegaMan!!







Now I guess I could continue to the final boss, but I just wanted to get past this dialogue so I could talk about the implications.

First off, the following image is what Duo looks like in the Classic series.



Meanwhile, here is how he looks when we fight him in Battle Network 4.



Notice a difference? There shouldn’t be one. The Classic and Battle Network universes may be alternate versions of each other, but the differences only affect the Earth. Someone like Duo, who was created a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, should not suddenly change into a Net Navi.

HOWEVER



During his boss battle in MM8, Duo displayed the ability to turn into a giant rock that was capable of moving under its own power.

I think you can connect the dots.

Of course, this leads to more questions. Why does Duo have a Cyberworld? Where was his jack in port? What happened to the evil space robot he fought in MM8? Why is his asteroid form so much bigger in this game? And why is there a giant wheel in his brain?

Who knows.

Next time: The final boss!

Current Folder

Heat Shot C x3
Wide Shot 1 C x3
Twin Fang 1 C x3
Magnet Bolt 1 C x4
Variable Sword V x4
Air Hockey 1 F x3
Air Hockey 3 V
Blinder *
Invisible * x2 - REGULAR
Attack +10 * x3
Full Custom *
ProtoMan B
Gun Del Sol EX G

Total codes (not counting * code): 5




“Battle” with Dark Soul

Remind me why cirkills are assholes? That's a valid contraction of "has", though. Wily discovers the Evil Energy and builds robots/a Wily Machine using it vs. Nebula discovers the Evil Energy and builds DarkChips/etc. using it. Duo detects different things, ergo Duo specializes for his encounter.Sure, it probably shouldn't matter, but it CAN be justified.

Oh, and he doesn't have a jack(isn't Jack-in port redundant?). He has a laser transceiver.

Circle Kills relentlessly fire very fast shots at Megaman. If you don't have an Invisible, you're guaranteed to take damage. Also, at the beginning of the battle, if you don't hold up (or down) when the turn begins, you'll get hit.

And if there's two Circle Kills, if you picked the wrong movement at the beginning, you're going to get hit.

For your latter point Duo specifically states he detected the evil in humanity's heart. That has nothing to do with Regal and his nonsense. And in the Classic series, Duo only ended up on Earth because he was heavily damaged in a fight againt an evil space robot. Dr. Wily contributed to Duo staying, but he wasn't the reason he came.

And I say "jack in port" because "jack" just sounds odd to me. And transceiver is just too long.

But wasn't the evil energy that Wily got from said evil space robot?

Yes, and that robot is the reason why Duo is so heavily damaged in MM8.

I realize you're trying to say that Duo is capable of adapting to meet a situation's need, but that theory is honestly unnecessary, since it seems to me that the BN Duo is just the Classic Duo's mental self, while the asteroid is just a supersized version of Classic Duo's rock form.

Soon I can enjoy the same hilarious hijinks you have been experiencing as I've just started BN4.

Well, this was before Persona 4...and it's Battle Network 4 (and 5 too, I guess), what did you expect?

Music: Final Battle



Oh man, Duo. He is pretty much the worst designed Battle Network final boss. Even the Life Virus R’s bullshit aura is nothing compared to this guy.



First off, Duo constantly moves up and down his column. He is only vulnerable after he finishes moving, and the only way to damage him is to hit that convenient hole in his chest. Do note that unless you have an Area Grab, almost all close range chips are useless. While I’m at it, all ground based chips like, say, Air Hockey, are also completely ineffective.

This leads to the unfortunate effect where chips that are effective against Megaman’s Dark Soul are usually worthless against Duo. There is one major exception to this, but I don’t have it yet.



However, every time Duo decides to stand still for a while he’s attacking. His favorite attack is to shoot projectiles at you. There are two kinds: a missile that goes down the row, or a pink mine that goes through two rows in a wave pattern. Duo will either just shoot a pink mine, a pink mine and a missile or two, or three missiles, one for each row. You can try moving out of the way, but you’re better off using the charge shot to destroy them.

What? Your buster isn’t good enough? What the hell are you doing, reset your game and modify your Navi Customizer, Duo damn near requires a good buster.



Anyways, Duo’s second favorite move is his laser. The laser itself isn’t really that deadly since you’d have to be a complete moron to get hit by it, but the rings that pop out of it are a massive threat. Why? Because they pierce mercy invincibility and Invisible. That means that if you mess up your timing, it’s possible to get hit twice in a row. Since the laser is one of Duo’s strongest attacks, this is a really bad thing.

Thankfully, the laser is really easy to dodge right now. Or it should be, but I’m so used to the super form of Duo that I actually had trouble adjusting to the initial form’s slow as hell laser.



The majority of Duo’s other attacks involve his left arm, which is apparently detachable and capable of cloning itself. Don’t expect him to ever use his right arm by the way; the thing just hangs there, useless, most likely because whoever made Duo’s battle form didn’t get the memo that Battle Network Duo has a perfectly functional right arm.

There are three different fist attacks. The first is the attack shown above. Note that at lower HP, Duo will start doing that twice in a row. Also note that if you don’t immediately react to the brief warning you get, you’re going to get hit.



The second fist attack, Big Hook, is pretty much exactly what it looks like. Like all of Duo’s moves, it’s not really a threat until



Duo uses Meteor Knuckle. This move is impossible to dodge without Invisible or pause abuse. But the real problem isn’t the damage it does.



The problem is that it fills your side of the field with cracked panels. This makes avoiding all of Duo’s other attacks extremely problematic. More importantly, it makes dodging Duo’s laser much harder. On the plus side, though, Duo stands still for a while after using Meteor Knuckle.



Duo’s final move is his desperation attack, and it’s a doozy. Duo fires his… face at two of Megaman’s columns, cracking them. This is even worse than Meteor Knuckle, but thankfully Duo almost never uses this move. In fact, he uses it so rarely I actually had to play through the battle with Duo around fifteen times before I could capture this image. And it’s a really bad one too; I missed the little stream of gradually growing pink faces.

But that’s not all! The battle with Duo has one last incredibly stupid feature.



You can’t use Dark Chips. Playing a low karma file? What are you doing go reset your game and do it right this time.



On a more positive note, Gun Del Sol chips work very well against Duo, especially after Meteor Knuckle.

MegaMan: Huff, huff…
Duo: …Gwahhh!

Duo’s battle body blows up in the exact order it showed up.

Duo: How did you beat my battle form? | But it is too late. | Gravity is already pulling the missile toward your planet. | It is too late to change its course.



Duo: Then give it a try.



Duo: You should cross the bridge and then use the control system. | Only 1 hour till it enters the atmosphere!
Lan: Hurry, MegaMan!
MegaMan: OK!

MegaMan: Hrrrr…
Lan: You can do it!!



You know when would have been a better time to do this? Before the asteroid was one hour away from impact. God damn it NAXA!

Narrator: With only 1 hour to impact, the sudden announcement caused | mass panic……..

Guess what? Incident Occurrence is still playing.



NPC: This place isn’t gonna protect us | from an asteroid strike. | We’re history.
NPC 2: MegaMan’s giving it his best shot, but what can 1 Navi do? | Had I known about this, I’d have married long ago.
NPC 3: This is terrible. What’re the Officials doing?!
Mayl: ……



Mayl: At this very moment, MegaMan’s out there risking his life!

The NPCs turn to face Mayl.

NPC 3: Well, it’s not like we could do anything about it…
NPC: All we can do is sit here and wait | for the asteroid to strike!
NPC 2: MegaMan’s just some kid’s Navi. | What’re the chances of him helping us?

Screw all of you.



Sal walks into the scene, ready to make things better. Note she does this even if you didn’t get her scenario. Her Red Sun counterpart, Mr. Match, also shares this quirk. Actually, while I’m talking about Mr. Match, I should note that the following dialogue seems more like it was written for him and then slightly modified for Sal.

Dex: Miss Sal!
Sal: MegaMan’s struggling for his life inside the asteroid. | Yet you guys have given up all hope? | Nothing good comes of despair. | We mustn’t give up hope while MegaMan’s still fighting back. | Isn’t there something we can do?
Yai: Yeah, we gotta help MegaMan somehow!!
Sal: Heh, heh. Good idea. | Even if our voices don’t reach MegaMan, he might sense our support, somehow.

Music: Under Justice

Dex: …… | ME-GA-MAN!! GO FOR IT!!
Yai: MEGAMAN!! YOU-CAN-DO-IT!
Mayl: MEGAMAN!!
Sal: Heh heh heh.

That’s right, BN4’s going to rip off Sonic Adventure. Or Dragon Ball Z. Or… actually, what was the earliest use of “everybody in the world cheers for the protagonist”?

Sal turns to the NPCS.

Sal: What’re you guys | gonna do? I’m gonna root for MegaMan. | He’s the only one who can save our planet. | MEGA-MANNN!

The NPCs turn to each other and come to an agreement.

NPC 2: ME-GA-MAN!!
NPC: ME-GA-MAN!!
NPC 3: YOU-CAN-DO-IT!
Kid: DON’T-GIVE-UUUUUUP!!! | MEGAMAN!!

Narrator: Meanwhile, led | by the NetBattlers at the tournament, the shouts from all | over the world were conveyed to MegaMan.

Narrator: Netopia ColosseumAve



*insert NPC cheers*

NPC From A Scenario I Didn‘t Do: Hey, guys! That Navi MegaMan is gonna win! | He was amazing when I saw him at the tournament! | I really believe he’ll be able to save us! | WE BELIEVE, MEGAMAN!!

Narrator: YumLand



Old Man From A Scenario I Didn’t Do: You must have faith in him!

*insert NPC cheers*

Narrator: NetFrica

*insert NPC cheers*



Mr. Famous, Who’s Cheering Even Though I Didn’t Battle KendoMan: All we can do is believe in him. | We must shout at the top of our lungs!!

Narrator: Sharo



What the hell is Chillski doing back in Sharo?

Chillski: An asteroid strike would make this | planet way too hot!!! | I couldn’t stand that! | SAVE US, MEGAMAN!!
NPC: Sharo’s a cold country, but our hearts are on fire!! | HANG IN THERE, MEGAMAN!!

*insert other NPC cheers*

Music: Incident Occurrence (Count: 19)

Lan: Go, MegaMan! | We’re all behind ya!



Lan: What the?! MegaMan, MegaMan!! | What’s going on?! | Why’ve I been cut off from MegaMan?!



Regal: The high voltage must’ve did him in.

Those must be some really crappy high voltage cables then.

Regal: There’s no way to operate him now.
Lan: Nooo!!
Regal: At this point, there’s only one way to revive him.

I have no idea why Regal refers to both Megaman and the power cable(?) as “him”.

Lan: There’s still hope?!
Regal: We must bypass the snapped cable to restore power… | …LIKE THIS!!

Music: Nothing



Lan: R-Regal!
Regal: Don’t get me wrong. | I shall create a world of utter evil. | Aaahhh!!
Lan: REGAL!!

Lan proceeds to turn around and forget entirely about Regal.

Lan: MegaMan, MEGAMAN! Hang in there!!

Music: Save Our Planet



MegaMan: But I’ll never give up!! | Grrr!!
Duo: Give up, already!! | 30 min. to atmospheric entry.

Duo: Vibration sensor, on!
Sensor: ……… | ME…N…GA…N | MEGAM…!! MEGAMA…!! MEGAMAN!!
Duo: …Human voices? That can’t be!

Especially considering you’re in space still.

MegaMan: They’re rooting for me… | They’re transmitting their power to me…

What?

Music: Under Justice

(This is the only time Under Justice plays for something Megaman’s doing.)



The wheel moves a bit.

Duo: What’s this power welling up within MegaMan?! | They must be awakening some sort of latent power within him!
MegaMan: …Lan! | Lend me the power | to save you all!!



Why didn’t you do that first?

Lan: RAAAHHH!

A beam of light hits Megaman, causing him to glow green. Despite the fact that BN1 established that this glow means Hub.BAT is still activating, Megaman immediately gets the power boost because why not.

MegaMan: RAAAHHH!
Lan: Go for it!!

MegaMan pushes the wheel so hard it starts to rapidly spin.



MegaMan loses his glow and faints.

Music: Nothing



Wasn’t Megaman destroying your battle form enough?



…But the asteroid was thirty minutes from entering Earth’s atmosphere! Is it even possible for it to just suddenly curve away?

Duo: I will delay punishing you for now. In the mean time, | I will slumber as I travel the universe. | Next time I pass by your planet, decades | or even centuries from now, you will | again be judged. Then we’ll see if need to be punished. | Now, begone, little warrior.



The end! I wish.

Music: NAXA

The scene returns to the real world. Since Lan and Megaman went into Full Synchro, Lan is also unconscious.

I would like to note that Lan is mostly out of character for this scene.

Boss: Lan… Lan!!
Lan: …Hmmm?
NPC: Lan, are you OK?
Lan: Uhhh… | …Huh?! What about the asteroid?!
NPC: It’s gone, thanks to you and MegaMan.
Lan: Oh yeah, MegaMan!

Lan takes out his PET.

Lan: MegaMan, MEGAMAN! | ……
MegaMan: No need to yell. I can hear you, Lan. | The asteroid’s gone, but it’s not over!

Music: Nothing



Lan: Dad!!



I’m going to assume this is a translation error.

Lan: DAD!!



Chaud is as late as always. He doesn’t even have the Red Sun excuse of being in Sharo.

Chaud: Grab onto this!
Lan: Chaud!!

Chaud drops a rope ladder as the screen fades to black.



Lan and Chaud run over.

Music: Sad Rain

Yes, they’re playing the sad music for Regal. This fucking game, I swear.

Regal: I’m gonna vanish. | I won’t let the Officials arrest me.
Lan: Wait! | It’s not too late to start over. | You risked your life to save the planet! | Chaud’s here. He’s an Official, so if ya | surrender and pay for your crimes…

This line is the only reason why I didn‘t just write that Lan was out of character for the entire scene.

Chaud: ……
Regal: Lan, I don’t think you understand. | Paying for crimes is the furthest thing from my mind. | I don’t feel an ounce of guilt. | You’re the ones who should feel guilty, | thinking you’ve done good when you’ve really caused harm.

Who’s up for some more Regal logic?

Regal: Something that you think is right can actually be evil.
Lan: ……



lolwhat

Alright Lan, you know you did not “destroy“ that navi. Shove Regal‘s argument back in his face.

Lan: …!

No, don‘t agree with him!

Regal: Chaud, you must’ve deleted countless Navis, claiming it | was your duty. Some of them were probably innocent.

Can’t argue with that. It’s been well established that Chaud is a douche.

Chaud: ……
Regal: Dr. Hikari, if you | hadn’t pursued your NetNavi project, | NetCrime wouldn’t be as bad as it is now.

That is such a silly argument in so many ways I don’t even know what to say.

Yuichiro: ……

WHY ARE YOU ALL JUST PASSIVELY AGREEING WITH HIM?

Regal: And the scientists who uncovered this thriving Net society | exiled a certain robotics scientists and fell into evil ways.

I realize that’s a typo, but it would be just like Regal to think that without Wily, Tadashi turned evil.



Now that I think about it, BN4 Regal is one hell of a Villain Sue.

Yuichiro: That means you’re…
Regal: Hmph, never mind that. | Let’s stick to the matter at hand. | Humans commit crimes without even realizing it. | In short, you’re all criminals… | …You, and your entire race. | Criminals judging criminals? Don’t you find it ridiculous? | That’s why I’m resisting arrest. | I won’t be judged by anyone. | I intend to stick to my beliefs till the bitter end.

Alright Lan, now’s the time for you to completely rebut Regal’s speech. Megaman’s already laid the foundations with his chat with Duo, you just need to finish it off.



Regal: Farewell…





Or you could just stand there and do nothing. Way to go, Lan.

Despite the dramatic fade to black, the game immediately cuts back to the top of NAXA.



Then CREDITS!

Music: Your Answer



Unlike the last three games, where the credits all had some fun little events to watch, Battle Network 4’s credits are just that background. And it’s just as unskippable as the other games’ credits.



What the hell were you two on?



Were you the guys in charge of the text boxes? What were you people even doing?



As for you guys… gah, words can not express my hatred for you people. Except the guys who worked on the battle system anyways, you guys did pretty great.



At least it’s finally over.



Bwuh?

Narrator: Dr. Regal’s whereabouts were still | unknown, despite a full investigation.

Regal survived? What a shock.

Narrator: At the Colosseum in Netopia, a delayed ceremony was held.

Music: Championship Congratulation!



Boss: And thank you for saving the planet.

Great job winning the tournament! Oh, and I guess you saved the planet too. Whatever.

Lan: …..

Boss gives the trophy to Lan, then turns around to address the audience.

Boss: Ladies and gentlemen… | Lan has been named World NetBattle Goodwill Ambassador! | Let’s deepen ties between the world’s | nations through NetBattles!

What a prestigious position! Too bad everyone’s going to forget about it by BN5.

MegaMan: What’s wrong? Why the glum look? | That’s not like you.
Lan: Oh… I just can’t stop thinking about Regal’s last words. | I’m not in the mood to celebrate.
MegaMan: You mean that thing about evil still remaining? | I think he’s right. | Still, we all should have the power to overcome it. | All of us have the power to fight evil, | so we must build a world in which everyone has a | place, in preparation for when Duo once again comes to this | planet, centuries from now.

Excellent counter argument. You know when would have been a great time to say this? Three days ago.

Lan: ……Yeah, you’re right!



Lan has no idea how right he is.



Let’s close this LP with some hilariously bad text spacing.

Boss: I’d like to ask Lan to show us his technique!
Lan: Huh?! You mean I gotta do something?
Boss: The crowd wants to see your NetBattle technique. | Please ready yourself!



Dex: Lan! Show us your best move!
Yai: We came all this way to see you perform! | Get it together!
Mayl: Lan, MegaMan, you can do it!
Lan: Is everyone here?!
Yuichiro: Don’t get nervous!
Haruka: Lan!
Lan: My Mom’s here?!
Chaud: Stop stalling! It’s gonna get dark soon!
Lan: And Chaud, too?! | Hmmm… Seems we’ve got no choice.

Battle Network 4 replaced the stars with icons. Oh well, I guess I should get started on the post ga-





Next time: This game is really badly designed.

Current Folder

Heat Shot C x3
Wide Shot 1 C x3
Twin Fang 1 C x3
Magnet Bolt 1 C x4
Variable Sword V x4
Air Hockey 1 F x3
Air Hockey 3 V
Blinder *
Invisible * x2 - REGULAR
Attack +10 * x3
Full Custom *
ProtoMan B
Gun Del Sol EX G

Total codes (not counting * code): 5



Battle With Duo

Let me guess. You need to collect all the chips and HP mems before you start a new game otherwise you can't get 100%.

Dodgy science! Or unconventional sensors.
There's one great exception to the "Nobody remembers Lan saving the (country/town/world)", isn't there?.

Yes there is, but the key word there is "one".

And since it's such total bullshit that nobody remembers the world almost being destroyed or Lan becoming a world champion/goodwill ambassador, it seems pretty clear that BN4 canonically never happened.

Did Duo ever show up again in the Star Force series? I completed the main plots of the trilogy, but never bothered with the postgame.

Nope. People speculated he was the main antagonist of Star Force 3, but that game was too busy focusing on its new characters to do something like that.

...and about five minutes after this screen was when I completely gave up on MMBN as a whole.

As the final image of the last update showed, Battle Network 4 has a New Game Plus feature. Every time you beat the game, you can choose to either restart from your last save or to essentially restart everything.





The only things kept once you start a new game are money, sub chips, folders, Spin Colors, HP, Memory, Souls, Karma, and the Navi Customizer. Everything else is lost. This means you have to buy the Cyber Slider and do the Boktai side quest again for the Nebula Code. This also means that there isn’t a point to getting any of the optional Banners; you’ll lose them next game no matter what.



Unlike other games with New Game Plus features, Battle Network 4 does not have any new scenes to see or special features for you to use. There are only three differences.



First, all non-offline viruses (and their chip drops) have been boosted a level.



Second, all collected BMDs and PMDs have been refreshed. Many of them carry new items. GMDs have also been upgraded; they give better chips but the same amount of zenny. They’re also now all capable of being trapped. Note that Battle GMDs are unchanged.

The final difference is something I can’t show a picture of. Since the plot is still the same, Lan will be participating in the Den, Eagle, and Blue Moon tournaments again. Since I’m on Game 2, I’m guaranteed to face Numberman and Metalman instead of Aquaman and Woodman. I’m also guaranteed to fight Protoman again, because you can’t get the final soul until Game 3 because the game designers are assholes.

Anyways, a person who doesn’t know what they’re doing might just charge into Game 2 straight away. Doing so is a terrible idea, and I’m going to be using the rest of the update to explain why.



First off, remember how I said all the viruses have been leveled up? This makes it much harder to fill up your Program Advance Memo. The reason why is very simple: there are eighteen Program Advances that are made with chips dropped by viruses. Two of the necessary codes can be found by just defeating the normal form of the virus, but the other code can only be obtained by S-Ranking the EX form of the virus, barring luck at the Chip Trader or the Order System. This brings us to our problem: EX viruses are incredibly rare encounters offline.

Let’s break it down game by game. The Game 1 normal viruses are easy enough to find in any playthrough; every single offline area is crawling in them. The Game 1 EX viruses, however, are rare encounters in offline areas and usually require some effort to find. They also usually show up along with the normal viruses, so it’s very possible you won’t get their chip even if you get a S Rank.

The Game 2 viruses are where things go south. Both their normal and EX forms do appear in certain offline areas, but only as extremely rare encounters, and again they often show up with Game 1 viruses. Getting their chips outside of Game 2 is a tremendous pain in the ass.

Once you’ve reached Game 3, the viruses have reached their maximum level, so there’s no worry about not being able to find the different forms. No, this time the problem is surviving. Game 3 viruses are extremely fast and do large chunks of damage, and it’s likely you won’t have enough HP because



you’re going to be spending all your money on Unlockers. Remember how I said that only the collected BMDs and PMDs were refreshed? Barring a few BMDs and the Black Bomb PMD, this means you have to collect every single BMD and PMD for both Game 1 and Game 2. If you don’t, you’ll have to go on to Game 4, or maybe even Game 5 (I’ve heard it goes all the way up to 99) before you can get the item. This isn’t that much of a problem with BMDs, barring the “how was I supposed to know that was there” ones. But with PMDs…

Let’s do some math. There are eleven PMDs you can access in Games 1 and 2, and assuming you don’t get the Coldman scenario you only need ten. Each Unlocker is 4000 Z, so in order to successfully complete a playthrough you need at least 40,000 Z. But wait; you have to get the Cyber Slider and the Nebula Code too! That’s 19,500 Z right there. And what if you ended up with a scenario that forces you to spend money, or decided to buy some of the Points in the Hawk tournament preliminaries? In total, you’ll have to spend anywhere between 59,500 to 71,000 Z per playthrough. And if you’re not playing Red Sun or didn’t get Roll Soul, you’ll probably spend some money on Full Energies, which are 1000 Z each. Finally, Secret Chips.

Actually, no, I don’t think I’ll talk about Secret chips and how they contribute to the money problem just yet.



I went through the entire game only spending my money on Sub Chips (with the exception of the 5000 Z I paid for those unnecessary Points). I only barely passed the necessary amount. Even worse, I still can’t spend any money on HP Memories; all of my money is being saved up for more Unlockers so I can 100% clear Game 2. Thankfully, BMDs and PMDs that have already given up their best item will start giving money and Bug Frags instead, but that usually doesn’t happen until Game 3.

And as a final fuck you, the area that can be unlocked near the end of Game 3 has a Net Dealer with some ludicrously expensive wares that can’t be gotten anywhere else.

That brings me to the game’s other money: Bug Fragments. Out of the entire Battle Network series, BN3 handled Bug Frag acquisition the best with its Counter system. But BN4 threw that out for the incredibly stupid Run-Everywhere-Scanning-Mystery-Data-Hoping-For-Bug-Frags system. In total, I need 468 Bug Frags to buy everything from the Bug Frag traders. I only have 81 right now, and I’ve been getting extraordinarily lucky with Mystery Data.

But all of that only applies to a skilled player who doesn’t need extra HP and can handle facing opponents without Super Armor or Air Shoes. Imagine if you were a newbie to the series. You just whiz though Games 1 and 2, then find yourself at a gigantic roadblock that prevents you from fighting the super form of Duo until you clear the game a few more times.

…Actually, that doesn’t sound that bad. Duo’s super form is just bullshit in so many ways it’s not even funny.

Anyways, this LP will continue as soon as I acquire the chips necessary for Super Wide Shot 1, Flame Cross 1, Pit Ring 1, Beast Fang 1, Pit Hockey 1, and Magnet Shock 1.

Next time: Free Tournaments are very, very stupid.

Regal's logic confuses the hell out of me. He know's he's evil, but he doesn't want to repent because...everyone else is evil?