The Mega(man) Battle Network LP!

Lan decides not to respond to that and instead asks what Tensuke was grumbling about.





Tensuke groans that he just doesn’t know enough about navis to do the job, begging the question of how he actually made Topman in the first place. He then walks off.




Since I don’t know any craftsmen myself, I’ll have to ask you guys. Are craftsmen always angry?




Lan agrees, and adds that as a fellow Net Battler he also wants to help out Tensuke.

That’s rather convenient.



As a side note, these cars move so slowly that Lan can match their speed by skating.



Alright, these are the people I’m looking for.




How did Lan just magically warp to the other side of the park? Seriously though, to start this cutscene you have to actually talk to one of the NPCs, so no matter where you are, you’ll just warp here.




Lan explains he wanted to talk about Tensuke. Cue fade-to-black.



Wait, what? This is just a response to what Lan just said. What was the point of the fade-to-black?

The old man says he can understand that Tensuke wants to get along better with Kosuke, but that doesn’t change the fact that Tensuke has always made fun of the Net Battler Club.




The old people form a group huddle.

Does the rule mean not to help unenthusiastic people, or does it mean to always be enthusiastic when you help people?




Another test. Grand.



I guess that answers my question.






Lan and Megaman agree.

If you get a question wrong, Megaman will have to massage the navi, because apparently navis have joints. This is done by mashing L and R.

I would like to take this time to address the sheer stupidity of the entire concept of an old navi. First off, navis are made of data. While they can technically age, this shouldn’t do anything to their base programs as long as they get proper maintenance.

Second, and far more importantly, the purpose of navis is to navigate the tremendous Net of the Battle Network universe. To do so, they must be capable of quickly processing data, safely defeating any viruses they come across, and above all be efficient. Having an “elderly” navi runs contrary to all three of those necessities. In other words, having an old navi is really, really stupid, and speaks poorly of your ability to handle a navi.

But the worst part about this is the fact that having an old navi affects more than just the operator. Everything connected to the Net that the operator might want to use, every person the operator might want to contact, and every little feature of the PET rely on the navi. If the navi isn‘t up to par, everyone suffers.

Megaman asks who the Chief is. The navi responds that he’s obviously talking about the Chief of the Net Battle Club.









So Megaman is officially an elderly navi. Great.






These all look like things only Topman could do.



The Net Battle Club is now the Net Battler’s Association.



The door is right next to the entrance of ACDC 1.

Cue virus battle.



You’re the one who attacked. Seriously though, I think Megaman was supposed to say this.





Yep. The reason why the Net Battle Club wouldn’t help Tensuke isn’t because of all the insults, it’s because the Chief personally hates Tensuke.

Oh great, more twins.








You know, the Battle Network series has a lot of identical twins, but I haven’t seen any fraternal twins.

Lan decides that what the two old men are doesn’t really matter compared to making sure Tensuke gets the help he needs.



“mans”? Really?





Says the man with an icon of a top on his back.



Lan then hands over all of the Secrets to Tensuke.

Tensuke and his brother swap places.



They swap again.



Cue another two lines of identical dialogue punctuated by swapping places.




Apparently Lan is color blind.



Megaman cheers Lan on.







Tensuke walks away.



Lan’s PET starts to beep.

Oh hey, Lan is introduced first for once.







Lan groans.



However did you guess?



I’m really just at a stunned loss here at how stupid Lan is. He knew Megaman was fighting someone named Topman, and right after that he met a man obsessed with tops right outside of Den Dome. And yet he didn’t make the connection?




Lan asks if Tensuke fixed Topman.



Seriously? You had like ten minutes to do it.

Topman’s actually a pretty annoying boss.





His first attack has him turn into a giant top and attack his entire row. While in his top form, he’s invincible to all non-breaking attacks.



His second attack has him place some miniature tops on the field in one of something like three different patterns. After a short delay, these things will bounce around the field.

And after they do so, Topman will do one of his body slam attacks, either the row attack I talked about earlier or the ground pound seen in the above picture. Dodging this on top of the miniature tops can be a real hassle, especially since Topman’s later forms launch three tops instead of two.

Anyways, that’s all for Topman’s base form. Reset time.






Lan celebrates and Tensuke curses.





Didn’t you just say one?




Some people in the audience start to applaud.








Tensuke greets Kosuke.



Topman giggles that Kosuke is embarrassing him.

Tensuke’s brother snickers.



But you didn’t battle.

Tensuke walks over to the pair.










So by Tensuke putting his heart into Topman, his brother’s soul was added as well? What is this I don’t even







Silly Lan.

Don’t tempt fate.








Lan fist pumps as the crowd cheers.






The man asks how Lan feels about winning.





Megaman’s happy to hear this.

Another fist pump, another cheer.




The man from the prelims walks over.




Lan walks over and takes the trophy.









Next time: We apologize for the interruption. Now returning to the actual plot.

Current Folder

Cannon A x2
Cannon B
Cannon *
Air Shot A x3
Heat Shot B x2
Heat Shot C x2
Wide Shot C x4
Sword S
Wide Sword S x2
Long Sword S
Air Hockey 1 F x4
Area Grab S
Invisible * x3
Attack +10 * x3

Total codes (not counting * code): 5

As far as the game is concerned, only one of the tournament scenarios actually happened: Shuko’s. So just forget about all of the other ones.

Twins!?: ''
Megaman's soul has communed with Topman's? Alas, no.

Also, Kensuke did manage to build a working CyberTop and plant time-release viruses in it, so it's not like he's wholly without relevant skills to make a Navi.

What?

Anyways, if Tensuke really did know how to make a Navi this whole scenario wouldn't have happened.

The other LP I read of this posited that the CyberTop (and TopMan.exe) were a scheme to get his grandson to see some Serious Viruses*-Busting Action With Tops- that Tensuke planted the viruses so it could "go wrong" and he could fix it in front of him.

If it was broken initially, it wouldn't be interesting.

But the grandson wandered off too soon, TopMan was broken, and MegaMan.Exe deleted the viruses so he can't just try again immediately.

It makes it make a little more sense about him getting angry about Lan jacking in and fixing it for him without his permission. But maybe we shouldn't be trying to make sense of this game.


*because this game

Regal struts away from the computer, catching the attention of the other scientist.




You could have just said that you were going to the bathroom.




I’m not sure if it’s possible to make Regal’s status as a villain any more obvious.









You still have that thing?




Dude, it’s been a week since the tournament. It really can not be that hard to delete a chip considering that you delete your folder and your bag at the end of every game.

If that’s how you two interpreted Higsby’s “this chip is your responsibility”, why didn’t you trash the chip back at the end of Shademan’s scenario?

Lan asks if Megaman has been feeling alright lately.





So Lan is worried about the fact that Higsby was the one who told them about Dark Chips?



Where you are right now? I mean, assuming you can't just manually delete the thing, Higsby is right behind you.



If you’re so determined to not delete the chip, why don’t you just hand it over to SciLab or something? I’m sure they could use a research sample.




And as sons of one of the best scientists in Electopia, I’m pretty sure you guys won’t get any odd looks if you went to Sci Lab. Which is where Chaud would go anyways. And if you really want to give it to an Official, you could just take the Metroline down to Marine Harbor and turn it in at the Center. And if you don’t want to be deemed suspicious due to holding a Dark Chip, you could always just head over to Yoka and give the thing to Mamoru.

What I’m trying to say here is that there are a lot of safe ways Lan could get rid of the Dark Chip.





So after worrying for a week, you ask Megaman for the best way to dispose of a dangerous object only to completely ignore the advice you’re given?



Mayl walks over.

So shouldn’t you be happy that he greeted you with neither of those?



And you waited for a week before doing anything about it?

Lan apologizes.



If “a lot” means “one thing”, sure.

Lan assures Mayl that he’s fine now.






Lan agrees.




I imagine that “we” is supposed to be an “I”. Either that or Lan is referring to both himself and Megaman.



Mayl walks to the edge of the park.




After Mayl returns to her home, Lan and Megaman discuss what just happened.





The only way I can think of to make that last line make sense is to change the person speaking to Lan and “go to get” to “follow”.

After the cutscene ends, we get an e-mail.







Before I advance the plot, I need to show two things.



First, Higsby has returned.




The Order system isn’t ready yet, but Higsby’s basic inventory is pretty impressive. Do note that the only thing here worth buying is Super Vulcan, which is a twelve-hit Vulcan. It’s pretty much worthless unboosted, but with the appropriate boosts it’s one of the strongest chips in the game.






The only thing useful I got from the Chip Trader was this. Air Shot + Rock Cube is still as effective as ever.




Second, Topman Alpha.



Like I said last update, all later forms of Topman summon three miniature tops instead of two. To avoid this attack, you need to learn each pattern‘s blind spot. This is a lot harder than it sounds, especially considering you also need to avoid Topman’s follow-up.



Also, Topman can now bounce himself around the field. This move can be a pain in the ass since the start up looks identical to Topman’s row attack.

This took a bunch of resets because for some reason I had a lot of trouble dodging Topman‘s relatively slow attacks.



Topman’s chip is awesome. First, he’ll summon a bunch of miniature tops in the panels diagonal to the target panel. These tops will slam the enemy while he jumps up to do his ground pound attack. And when he lands he’ll keep spinning, resulting in three hits.






In other words, if your opponent is in the center panel of either of their front two columns, they are so screwed. Too bad it’s T coded.



Alright, Mayl’s been waiting long enough. But then again, there’s something else I have to show at Den Dome so I guess she’ll have to wait a little long-



Or not.






Before I head to Town 3, I need to show one of the more helpful gimmicks BN4 introduced.

Shortcuts allow Megaman to get around the Net faster. Unfortunately, three of the seven available shortcuts (more specifically Mayl Banner, Dex Banner, and Yai Banner) are completely useless as Megaman doesn’t really need a fast path to ACDC 1 to 3.




Alright, off to Town 3.



Fuck.



I really want to know who thought this was a good idea.



Amusingly enough, I actually did better against Topman Omega than I did against Topman Alpha (got him down to 900 HP). I guess I’m just used to absurdly fast movements.

Once you unlock an Omega navi, the area they’re in basically becomes a death trap. Saving at the entrance and the exit is recommended.

The guy right behind Megaman just told him.





Since this is the first thing Roll’s said to Megaman today, I can only assume that the two chatted over the time skip. Though this makes me wonder why Megaman didn’t know about the theme park.

A navi walks over.







Not even advertisements are safe from typos.






Missing question mark count: way too many.



It seems Roll polished herself during the announcement.

Megaman, you’re officially the best Net Battler in Den City. What is there to be afraid of?

Besides Omega navis I mean.




I’ll just skip ahead a little.






The lack of an exclamation mark on that last sentence makes it sound like he’s being sarcastic.



This text formatting is just ugh.





Roll congratulates Megaman as well.

The two jack out.









Considering that Mayl basically forced Lan into getting these for her, Lan’s assumption that Mayl didn’t want to go with him isn’t completely unfounded.








Oh my God they actually filled the entire dialogue box.

Incident starts up (Count: 6).









Then Lan skates out of Mayl’s house. But if you go back and talk to her…



Yeah, I have no clue.

You know, let’s take this time to go check out Dex and Yai.









Because clearly you can’t talk to someone while watching a television show.

Dex Banner won’t be available for a while longer. Anyways, time to advance the plot.






Haruka explains she was cleaning Lan’s room when somebody snuck in.






Lan grabs Haruka and pleads for her to stay conscious.



Incident stops.




Megaman wonders what the burglar wanted.

Lan asks if Megaman can open it.






Megaman backs up.

A navi rushes over.



You’re very excited!!








Cue battle with a Normal Navi Alpha.








Megaman decides to take a look.