The Mega(man) Battle Network LP!

So despite the fact that the scientist from earlier specifically called for asteroid specialists, they contacted Yuichiro, a network specialist?

What, is this some scientific version of “if he has a doctorate he has medical training”?



Is this the same Yai who’s so rich she goes overseas almost every vacation?






Lan tells Yuichiro not to worry.






Yuichiro walks off.






Yai and Mayl say their farewells and also leave the scene.

Oh now they get it right.





The man tests the sound again and finds it to be perfect.






Oh yeah, I think BN1 said that too. Something about only official Net Battlers being allowed to battle wherever they want. Man, Lan’s been breaking that rule all over the place.



That doesn’t seem like good idea.




The man decides to get to the point.







What a shocking and original plot point!

You mean there’s still debate over that?



The crowd is very interested.





The crowd’s cheers quickly turn into angry shouts.







The man runs away. Before he leaves the square though he adds that anyone who clears the preliminary round will be on television.




Interesting choice of words.

Alright, time to go to ACD-



Huh?





Okay, looks like something bad happened in the stereo.



What.

Next time: Stupidity and annoying puzzles.

Current Folder

Cannon A x2
Cannon B x2
Air Shot A x3
Vulcan 1 V x3
Mini Bomb B x2
Mini Bomb L x2
Sword S x4
Wide Sword S x2
Crack Out * x3
Recover 10 A x2
Recover 10 L x2
Area Grab S
Attack +10 * x2

Total codes (not counting * code): 5

While I could start streamlining my folder, there’s really no point right now.

Oh yeah, I forgot something. In that last battle with Alpha Omega, the player used the infamous 11th chip bug.

Basically, the game gives you just enough Custom programs (one +2 and two +1's) so that with Custom style's natural +1 you can start a battle with all ten chip slots open. However, if you change to another Style and then change back to Custom, you can gain more Custom programs. If you manage to exceed +5 Custom, a rather amusing bug will occur. Basically, if you go to your tenth slot and press right, the game will move to an invisible slot. This slot will always be the second chip in your unshuffled folder, and every turn the chip will regenerate.

Note, however, that this chip will also always be the first chip you start the turn with, so you can't abuse Folder Back and Attack + chips. You can totally abuse Full Custom though.

This game is hilarious. I'm totally going to start saying "What happened, yo? Whassup here, yo?" any time there's some kind of commotion.

even if you don't select it?

Nah, you have to select it. It's just that if you do select it, well, say goodbye to the first chip you select from the normal ten slots.

Oh, right, the password doors too, to get fast-to-input numbers.
This...well. It still doesn't make sense, but...

The way this is phrased, it almost sounds like something Brook would say.



"Pork joke! Yohohohohohoho!"

This is besides the bewildering structure. If I was ... you wouldn't... ...what?

Blitz you should make a small change to the front page, it still says LPing BN3.

Alright, where were we?



Oh, right, “dead” Navis. Let’s not ask why these guys haven’t been deleted.





Meet Shademan. He’s possibly the most stereotypical villain in the entire Battle Network series.





This is the last time you’re going to be seeing Shademan’s verbal tic in its own image.



Again, why is this not deleting them?





Again, stereotypical villain.

Shademan wonders if there are any lady navis nearby.






Megaman calls for Shademan to wait.

Shademan turns himself into a bunch of bats.



No, seriously.

Anyways, these bats then vanish.

Megaman alerts Lan that Shademan is heading toward ACDC Area.




Lan, Megaman can’t get to ACDC until you do.



Megaman jacks out.




Mm-hmm. Anyways, Incident starts up (Count: 2).



Say hello to the new Metroline interface. Instead of selecting a ticket and entering, you just instantly warp to wherever you want.



At least Megaman got it right.






Along the main path of ACDC is a bunch of navi corpses. Again, I have no idea why they haven’t been deleted.



Wait, then shouldn’t Shademan be in ACDC 1?




Gutsman and Glide groan and tell Roll to flee. Which shouldn’t be that hard since she can just jack out.

We’re waiting on you Roll…



Shademan inches closer, but then Megaman runs in.



Shademan realizes Roll is Megaman’s friend.





They seem to be awake to me.

Shademan declares it’s time for dessert.






Roll calls out for Megaman. Megaman also screams Roll’s name.





Yeah, like Roll should’ve.




The two jack out.

When the cutscene ends, Lan gets some mail from Yai.



Oh, are you going to give us a rare chip, or some zenny, or-



Gee, thanks.





Wow, rumors move fast.



Shademan just flew through here!



Yay for invisible paths.



Boo for PMDs.





Wait, so the Mr. Prog at the entrance only heard this from rumors, but this guy just saw it happen? What?



Town 1’s only BMD holds a Sand Ring *, which fires a no damage ring of sand. If it hits anything, the panel the target is on turns to sand.



Say hello to the successor of Press paths, Slider Rails. Unlike Press paths, Megaman doesn’t need a program to cross them.



Instead, he needs an expensive vehicle that can only be assembled in a ridiculously convoluted fashion.



Alright, something new. Larks move around the entire field, occasionally firing a column-wide blast of water. They’re courteous enough to only fire it from the edges, but if blocked from moving (by, say, other enemies) they’ll blast from the middle. They drop Wide Shot chips, which is an exact replication of their attack.

A lot of in-battle GMDs are positioned so they’ll either be protecting an enemy or be destroyed as soon as one enemy attacks. It’s pretty annoying.




Town 2 has two warps. The first leads to the lower area, the second leads back to a special part of Town 1.




We’ll be back here at the very end of the game.



Town 2 has some pretty decent chips available (this * coded Cannon came from an in-battle GMD), so I spent a little time grinding to get a folder that wasn’t complete crap.



I headed back to ACDC 3 for some Heat Shot Bs, and I got this out of a GMD. Counter chips damage any enemy that is in a counter frame. Naturally, successfully using them instantly puts Megaman in Full Synchro.

Town 2’s only BMD held an Invisible *.



Okay, let’s get on with the game.



How long has Shademan been waiting there?

Shademan assures Megaman that he hasn’t eaten his dessert yet.



Yet another question mark forgotten. I realize formal Japanese doesn’t have a question mark, but you’d think the translators would at least be able to tell when something’s a question.

And that’s assuming BN4’s original script was written in formal Japanese.






I’m pretty sure he was already doing that.




Megaman’s supposed to be talking, not Shademan.

Aside from the fact that they forgot a comma between nice and long, I don’t think desserts can feel relaxed.



Megaman alerts Lan that their only option is to jack in from the real world.



Megaman notes that they entered from Town Area, so it has to be somewhere in Elec Town. He then notices the nearby monument.





I love how they tried to be grammatically correct here and failed completely, since “no-one” shouldn’t have a hyphen.

Still, Lan has a point.

Alright, ready for something stupid? The following is an exact guide as to what you have to do to reach Elec Tower.



Talk to this guy, who specifically warns Lan that the Tower is emitting sonic waves, with all nearby NPCs saying the same thing.



Examine this door, which will now be unlocked.



Ignore the prior warning and head to the Square. You can also jack into that advertisement back there, which has a RegUp 2.





Lan notices the controls for the Tower and starts heading over when Megaman stops him.



Megaman asks if Lan feels strange. Lan replies he’s fine. Then…

Not like you were warned or anything. Oh wait, you were.




Megaman, this isn’t Star Force. You’re composed of data, not waves.



Typo count: too many.




Lan runs away.




Jomon Electric has coincidentally restarted its battle campaign at this exact moment.




One of the changes Battle Network 4 brought that I liked was the ability to actually battle the basic Navi models you see everywhere. It’s a shame BN5 and BN6 removed it.





Basic Navi models attack with chips. This guy has a Cannon, Sword, and a Single Bomb (sorry for the bad image of the Single Bomb, but I just couldn’t catch the guy actually throwing it).

Shouldn’t that be “without being able to hear anyone else”? Or does this thing mute Lan?



But the only way another person would be able to look into someone else’s PET is by looking at the screen or connecting to it, two things earphones won’t block.






I’m going to assume the earphone program Megaman got allows him to talk to Lan through Lan’s earphones.




If they were capable of reworking the tower’s computer to allow jacking in, why didn’t they just fix the tower?



Another new virus. Melodies bounce around their side of the screen for a bit before jumping at Megaman‘s panel, with later forms chasing Megaman for a bit. They drop Binder chips, which have Megaman throw a Melody forward.

The program notes that if all of the Cyber Bats are caught, the door should open.




I have no idea why the program seems to be unsure whether or not there is a sonar system here.






Ready for the caveat?






Yup. You have ten seconds to find the Cyber Bats, who move around the entire (rather large) area. If you run out of time you have to reset the system. Oh, and the timer never stops, so if you get into a random encounter you’re guaranteed to lose a second while the screen flashes white.

Megaman hands over the bats.





Elec Tower 1’s BMDs held a Spreader M, 700 Z, and a RegUp 2.

Elec Tower 2’s puzzle is pretty much the same, only this time there’s four bats and the starting platform only has one exit.




I think Megaman’s supposed to be asking whether or not he should turn on the sonar.








Elec Tower 2’s BMDs held 1 Bug Frag, a Long Sword S, and a HP Memory.



You sure took your sweet time.

*sigh*

Shademan laughs that it will all be over soon.






Roll screams Megaman’s name. Megaman responds and runs over.



Shademan groans at Megaman’s reappearance.







Shademan rises into the air and spreads his wings.

Even gloating is not safe from typos.



Sure.




Again, really stereotypical villain.

Lan calls out Megaman’s name and asks if he's okay, apparently assuming that Megaman’s just gripping his head in agony for no reason at all.






Megaman asks Lan to hurry.








The sound waves slow down then stop. Shademan looks around in confusion.




Apparently Elec Town’s tower can be controlled by any random guy off the street. That’s Battle Network security for you.

Lan explains with some MUT that he turned the volume off. Megaman thanks Lan and declares he’s back to normal.

What.



I don’t know why they didn’t just put ShadeMan.



Shademan’s main attack, Crush Noise, hits the panels in front of him in a T shape.



Aside from that, Shademan can summon some bats to annoy you. These things are basically really slow Magnet Missiles.



Shademan tends to combine his moves.




Anyways, this battle has a gimmick: you can’t damage Shademan. Every time you hit him he’ll just fade to black.

After about five hits, a cutscene plays.



I haven’t even damaged you.



Shademan decides it’s time to run.



Wait, so they were deleted? Then why did they leave behind bodies?

Lan recognizes the voice.



As late as ever I see.




If you really did investigate, you’d know that Shademan hit ACDC. There’s no reason why Lan and Megaman wouldn’t go after him.





Protoman’s mug shot is zoomed out, so his head seems a lot smaller than everyone else’s.

Anyways, Protoman warps in.



Why does he always get to just teleport wherever he wants while Megaman has to solve puzzles?



One of the nice things about BN4 is that it kept Chaud’s character development intact. In other words, he and Protoman are no longer condescending douches.



Shademan recognizes Chaud and Protoman.




Was that supposed to be “expert Official’s battling skills”? And once again, just what the hell did Chaud and Protoman do to get so famous?



Protoman adds that if Shademan resists he will be cut down.



Shademan decides he’s had enough.



Protoman dashes forward and swings, but Shademan just backsteps.

Shademan morphs into bat form, in the process dropping something.



Er, shouldn’t you examine that fiery Net guano?



Protoman warps out.

With the danger over, Megaman heads over to Roll and asks if she’s okay.




Roll loudly thanks Megaman.





What?

Megaman tells Lan to relax.



Megaman tells Roll to jack out so Mayl will know her navi is safe.



Roll wonders what it is.




What is with this odd obsession with apostrophes?



*Insert snarky comment*



Megaman recommends they show the chip to Higsby.

With that, the game cuts to ACDC. Incident has finally stopped.



I imagine this was supposed to be “You look better now!”.



Higsby is open now… kind of. Lan won’t be able to buy chips for a while, but he can at least use the 3 Chip Trader.

Also, check out that poster of Serenade.




Meet Nanako. She’s Higsby’s new employee.



This was the only good thing I got. Big Hammer comes from Gaia viruses, who along with Billies have returned from BN1. I’m not actually sure what they do, but I think it just summons a Gaia virus in front of Megaman, who will swing its hammer and cause some rocks to fall on the enemy field..



Huh?




Higsby asks if Lan is looking for a new chip. Lan responds he’s not shopping, he just has a question.



Lan shows Higsby the ??? Data and asks what it is.





Higsby demands to know where Lan got the chip.



I’d like to note that Shademan never introduced himself to Lan.

Man, it’s like something out of Metal Gear.



AKA “The Cyber Hell We Made Up Just For This Concept”







How much of this conversation is repetition?



You can tell how scared Lan is by the lack of a period.

Lan asks what happens to Navis in Murkland.




Actually, it leads to invulnerability from anything but swords. It’s pretty annoying.





What’s this question mark doing here?

Lan shakily confirms.





Lan quickly asks if Megaman is feeling alright.



Higsby is relieved to hear that Megaman is safe.








Sounds like Megaman to me.

After that, Megaman recommends Lan returns home and Dex sends an e-mail congratulating Lan for saving Roll.




If you think about it, it actually says a lot about Lan’s friends that they don’t allow Megaman into their computers until he does something to help them.

Next time: Actual viewer participation!

Current Folder

Cannon A x2
Cannon B
Cannon *
Air Shot A x3
Vulcan 1 V x3
Heat Shot B x2
Heat Shot C x2
Wide Shot C x4
Sword S
Wide Sword S x2
Long Sword S
Guard 1 A x2
Area Grab S
Invisible * x2
Attack +10 * x3

Total codes (not counting * code): 5

I’m not going to be able to reduce my folder’s chip codes for quite a while, so the best way to streamline is to have multiple copies of chips.