A Tale of Two Scripts: Let's play FF3 US & FF6 RPGOne!

This is her unique attack. It causes a unique variant of Death Sentence for all, which forces them into perma-Zombie state after the timer hits 0. Best to finish the fight quick when you see it.



And so we did! Kitty Kick x4 saves the day again! Megami drops Excalibur, which is of course one of the ultimate swords in the series.

♪♪ Victory ♪♪



Two down, one to go...



Most players don't even know there IS a Ribbon here.



There's the last of 'em...



♪♪ Fierce Battle ♪♪

Kishin (Fierce God) is the last of the three. Can you guess what his element of choice is?



If you guessed fire, well done. Well done indeed.



He has a nice rare for stealing.

Flare Star isn't very intimidating any more...



Surge Cannon, however, is. Poor Matias!



But not intimidating enough! Kishin drops the Glow Lance (or if you prefer FF7's comical translation, the Grow Lance), which is Mog's ultimate weapon.

♪♪ Victory ♪♪



Woot, all three down! Now... the world's fucked. Oops.



"The power of magic didn't vanish..."
"Does that mean... That Kefka has drained all of the magic from the three Gods of Battle?"

More or less, apparently. Man, that was close. We almost accidentally offed Tina there!



This is the final save point...



And these are the final switches...



And this is the final image of this update. Come back next week for the amazing conclusion of Final Fantasy VI! It's gonna be epictastic!

I'd think the "cannot target all allies with a Cure3" isn't worth the "can backstab" of pincer formation, particularly on a boss such as this.

Well, now I'm curious - could you (or someone else) provide a rough or literal translation?

The best translation that still makes sense in English would be "defender of the mother land", if memory serves. At one point I thought it translated out to "six gods", but that was far from correct; it's comprised of very archaic terms in reality, as befits a Samurai's sword. The Yoshiyuki in FF7's full name is actually Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki in the Japanese version, which of course means it's basically the same sword. It's believed to be a reference to Sakamoto Ryoma's family's katana.

I think you've forgotten the actual reason it doesn't translate:

Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki (陸奥守吉行) is the name of the of a sword-maker.

Because it's a proper noun, the best translation would just be to leave the name as is, like Masamune.

Trying to translate it all would be like translating Miyamoto Shigeru's name (宮本茂) as "shrine origin growing-plants" or translating Inafune Keiji's name (稲船敬二) as "rice boat respect two."

The problem isn't that it doesn't translate well. The problem is that you shouldn't translate it at all. It's a name.

Ahh, that would explain a lot, yes. I wondered why they'd pick such a strange combination of Kanji. Somehow I didn't make the connection between "katanas are often named after swordmakers" and "katanas in FF games are all named after real-world famous katanas".

I really should have talked more about this, as it can be an integral part of forming a strategy for Kefka's Tower.

The team on the left (we'll call them Team 1 for simplicity's sake) does not fight any bosses until after the team's paths have converged. On the other hand, Team 2 will always run into these two encounters:


(Ok, so both those fights are technically optional, but you get what I mean.)


Similarly, Team 3 will always fight these guys.


Things get tricky in this room. As a refresher, Team 1 went left,


fought Doom,


opened the way for Team 2 to go right and fight Goddess,


and Team 3 had to fight Guardian and Poltrgeist.

If Team 1 had gone right, the boss order would have been like this:
Team 1 fights Goddess
Team 3 goes left and fights Doom
Team 2 goes up the middle and fights Guardian and Poltrgeist

To look at it another way, here's which bosses each team can not fight after their paths converge:
Team 1 can't fight Guardian and Poltrgeist
Team 2 can't fight Doom
Team 3 can't fight Goddess

It's unnecessary in most cases to actually plot and plan who will fight which boss in the Tower, but if you're going for some crazy challenge run or something it can be helpful!

Whoah! Mind blown!

I'm guessing that this must be an oversight in the programming of the game. I can't imagine that it would be intentional to have an enemy that can effectively permanently kill Interceptor.

Part XXXI - The Real Ultimate Showdown of Destiny! For Reals This Time!

The final dungeon has been traversed. The bosses are all dead. There is nothing left to do but to finish this once and for all. This... is it.

(Today's update is huge upon large upon gigantic. Get yourself a snack or something before you start!)



♪♪ Fanatics' Tower ♪♪

(Interesting note: there's this ethereal wailing in the background here that makes the music all the creepier.)

We are so very ready for this.



The awesomest laugh ever precedes that appropriate greeting.



It's REALLY hard to capture, but Kefka is surrounded by a rapidly-flickering blue triangle with clouds all over it there.



Oh I'm sure it's pretty easy, actually.

Kefka "I am now all-powerful. Behold!"



Hey, not cool!



Could you maybe put my party members down first? Thanks.



Uh, maybe you could not toss them away like that?

*Tina walks up*
"But people will rebuild what you destroy."
*The camera pans up as Kefka's shield vanishes and the skies behind him turn blue*
Kefka "Then I will destroy them again. Why do humans continue to rebuild what is destroyed? Why don't they just die off? The world would be far better if they all did perish."



Tina, you've got serious cojones, just casually waltzing up to a guy with the power of the gods and telling him to his face he's an idiot like that.



Kefka is not amused.

"People don't need all of the answers, so why should they live their lives seeking them all out?"
Kefka "And you've found this? In this world that is so close to death...?"
*Tina stands up*
"I have!"
*She walks back to the others*



Good thing she didn't learn what it means from Weird Al.

Lock "There are people that need me to protect them." {And how! The party could use your level 85 muscles right about now...}
Edgar "It's my goal to build a country where all can live in peace." {Except the women; you'll be too busy flirting with them for any of them to get a moment of peace.}
Matias "I have a loving older brother! G'hahahaha!" {A loving older brother who hasn't shared more than 2 lines with you since the world ended. Yep.}
Celes "I've found somebody who accepts me for who I am." {Glad something came out of your angst in Thamasa ages ago.}
Strago "I have a darling granddaughter, I do." {With that tongue, I'd call her a darkling granddaughter...}
Relm "And Relm has a loving and caring granddad to watch over her!" {Aww, how sweet. Makes me wanna hurl.}
Setzer "My friend's wings!" {And possibly something else of hers; we never did figure out where Darryl was actually buried in that massive tomb...}
Mog "You're all my friends, kupo!" {Yeah, well, your entire species is dead now. You don't have a lot of say in that one.}
Gau "Everyone my friend! Everyone my friend!! Gau!" {Eloquent as ever.}

Will Kefka be moved by this show of afection?



♪♪ Kefka's Theme ♪♪

Hehe, of course not. And I agree with him, they were pretty weak reasons.



"Kefka! Stop!!"

Can't stop the Kefka! He gathers his glowing blue dots and...!



...Blasts some random uninhabited islands. Dude, if you're gonna blow up islands, I'm all for it. Too damn many of them in the World of Ruin as it is.



Lower than the lowest of dregs!"

His ego's in full bloom today.

Standing on a burning mound proclaiming the death of the world is at hand? Either Kefka is a maniac, or he's posing for a Slayer album cover.



Apparently Tina can summon giant columns of rock at will too!

Kefka "I shall destroy them! Destroy destroy destroy! All destroyed!!"

Kefka's turning into a Dalek!



Lock can summon giant columns of rock at will, too!? Man, where can I get in on that action?

*Kefka stops hopping and prepares himself*
Kefka "Hyaha... But there is nothing as beautiful as death and destruction!!"

This guy takes nihilism up to 11.



Dude, what are you even AIMING at? Are you... are you trying to destroy the ocean!? I think that's a little too big a target for your death ray!



I just wanted to show this nifty background, which never shows up again.



Alright! Time to set up our death-dealing super-team!



This line-up probably seems daft, and that's because it is. Really, really, REALLY daft. So why the hell am I doing that? Because I want this to be interesting, of course! It'd be horribly predictable to go at it in the reverse order; that's what everyone does!



♪♪ Dancing Mad (Hell) ♪♪

Already I can see this is going to take a while... The first level of Kefka's final boss tower is this demon badass, representing Hell. He hits fairly hard and really does not know the meaning of mercy. He likes to throw out Shockwaves, mostly at poor Gau.



A little buffing is in order on my powerhouses, of course...



...He Reverse Polarity'd my ass. Now it's gonna take even LONGER. Son of a bitch.



That's Kitty Kick from the back row. And I can't do a damn thing about it either.



Wow, I've never been more thankful for an accidental KO...



Time to make Gau protected to the nines as well.



...Why do you make me hate you, last boss?



Looks like it didn't do much for it, though!

Reverse Polarity again... I hate you so very much, last boss.



Well that's not good. Gogo's the only one with Raise in this group!



Thank goodness I have Phoenix Downs. ...7 of 'em. Crap, I knew I forgot to do something.



HAX. I remember now why I never use Relm in boss fights: because she's bloody useless in them. Let's try this with a COMPETENT party, then.



That should work far better.



Mighty Guard makes everything better.



Much better...



Before I forget, better Levitate up...



After some beatings taken and given, we're on to the next tier!



♪♪ Dancing Mad (Earth) ♪♪

Tier 2 is the Earth tier, comprised of many humans and beasts. It looks a lot like Neo Exdeath, actually... Anyway, while the previous tier was mostly physical, this one is a good mix of physical and magical.



The tier immediately endears itself to me by making my life miserable.

So I'd better undo that one quick.



...I hate you, last boss tower.



Oh that really wouldn't be good. It missed, thank Orthros.



Know what? Two can play at the Hastega game, Earth tier.



Beating the Muscles from Brussels on the tower there gets me this delightful smackdown.



Fortunately the Earth tier goes down pretty quick otherwise. The others' finishers aren't even worth mentioning.



♪♪ Dancing Mad (Heaven) ♪♪

And at last we're at the Heaven tier. Only two targets this time, so that's a nice change. As you may have guessed, this tier is all magic.



Sometimes random opener attacks work in our benefit. Actually, that particular target ONLY uses White Wind. Which is bad when you're counting on the goddamn randomizer with Gau and Umaro.



That hurt just a bit...



I prefer that to Meltdown, let me tell you!

Nothing to see here....

...That SHOULD say Trine. Anyway, it causes blindness and silence, which is a nasty-as-hell combo you may remember from FF5 as Rainbow Wind. Man I wish I had more Ribbons...



Realizing that Strago and Gogo are basically the muscle for this team, the angel kills them off with Tranquility before dying. Boo!



♪♪ Dancing Mad (Kefka) ♪♪

Uh... This could get ugly.



Where do they come from? And where are they going? These things... I am going to destroy!!"
*Awesome-laugh x3*

Guess we'd better do this thing.



Setzer rolls up a few airships to divebomb Kefka. I just can't help but laugh at the sight of the mini-Blackjack there...



You son of a bitch.



After bringing us down to 1 goddamn HP, hitting us with Figa seems kinda tame, dude...



His regular physical attack hurts like hell too, go figure.

For some reason, Setzer seems to have unbelievably high luck during this fight. He hasn't failed his Slots once!



Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what happens next?



He's... he's holding his own head... and... I don't even know what to say, folks.



HOLY MOTHER OF PAIN!



I'm starting to suspect that I'm not going to make it this time...



Son of a bitch.



You bastard. And of course, thanks to a horrible bug in FF6's code, your allies sitting on the sidelines will only join up during the tier transitions.



Fuck you, Kefka. If you're going to be a cheating asshat, I'm cheating too.

This time I'm not putting up with any of your goddamn crap.



Fuck you and your fucking tower.



I've had it with you.



I'm not taking any more of your crap.



DIE AND ROT IN OBSCURITY YOU CHEATING SON OF A WHORE!

...

Whew, sorry 'bout that. Sometimes when I get pissed at how an RPG rolls the random numbers, I get in this really weird mood. So what'd I do this...?

Oh. Well, uh, a victory is a victory, right?



*Shadow and Cayene run in*
"We need to work together! Let's go! The airship is just ahead."
*Tina steps forward and morphs*
Celes "Come on! Hurry! We need to work together!"
*Tina takes a few steps forward and collapses*
*Celes kneels next to Tina*
Celes "Tina! What's wrong?"



Oh, that's what's wrong, Celes. We just killed the guy who absorbed all the goddamn magic in the world, so now all the goddamn magic in the world is going to die.



"Magic is disappearing from our world..."
Edgar "The Eidolons are ceasing to exist..."
*Celes faces Edgar*
Celes "Is Tina's existence going to......?"
*Tina gets up*
Tina "Follow me. I can use the last of my powers to help us escape!"
*Tina runs forward as the screen goes white and shakes even harder*

Hoo boy...



♪♪ Ending Theme ♪♪

(I suggest you time this one to match the ending sequences if you can! I'll give timecodes and everything.)

It's time for the most epic of endings.



Suddenly the pages of the book begin to turn!



(0:39) Cayene as Cayenne Garamonde

The katana briefly sparkles as his name appears.



Edgar "Cayene! T, that switch there...!"
Cayene "I hate machines, sir!"
*Cayene walks up to the switch, examines it for a bit, runs around it, then gets frustrated and finally just jumps on it*
*The stairs reform and Edgar falls down them!*



And then he laughs.

(1:26) Setzer as Setzer Gabbiani

Cards float down throughout.



*Setzer steps down and rubs his head*
*The others check the right door instead*



Good call, Setzer!

*Setzer wags his finger*
Setzer "...Well, sometimes you have to take a contrary risk. Otherwise, you just might make a big mistake."
*Edgar and Celes run off through the doorway*
*Setzer steps down and folds his arms*
Setzer "Ah, Darryl, I'm starting to sound just like you!"

It's a matter of course!



(2:18) Edgar as Edgar Roni Figaro / Matias as Mash Rene Figaro

The coin spins in, and spins again when showing Matias' name.



I knew you could handle the country better by yourself. And I wanted to support you, big brother. That's why I tried so hard to become strong."
*Edgar finishes opening the door and Matias tosses the huge I-beam aside*
*Everyone runs through save Edgar, who pauses to flip the audience off*

Always classy, Edgar.



(3:04) Mog as Mog

The little carousel has Mog figurines on it dancing, which jump off and walk away as Mog's name pops up. The key on the carousel never stops spinning, either.



(Man, this place has a problem with dissolving floors.)

*Edgar hops over onto a platform and uses a nearby crane to grab Mog*



He's not a crane game prize, kupo! Edgar just laughs, the jerk.

Hahaha, whoops.

(3:54) Umaro as Umaro

The Mogs from before come across an Umaro bone carving, which opens its mouth and has glowing eyes! The leader freaks out, and all of them pass out.



Celes "It won't open!"
*Umaro flexes!*
Umaro "Ugaaaaaah!"



That's one way to solve your problems. Wish he did that DURING the dungeon!



(4:33) Gogo as Gogo

The helmet's eye sparks briefly.



See what I mean? This place is an OSHA nightmare!



*Setzer and Edgar step forward, and Setzer starts jumping*
Setzer "Gogo! Mimic what Celes does!"
*Gogo and Celes blink, then hit the switches in mirrored sequence*



You mimicin' awful, Gogo.



(5:24) Gau as Gau

A pair of eyes appear in the diving helmet, and a paw shoves out of it before retracting back inside.



Wow, that Gau's cold as ice sometimes.

(6:13) Lock as Lock Cole / Celes as Celes Chere

This is one of the only transitions with no animation.



*Edgar raises his arms briefly*
"Hurry! The floor is breaking up!"
*Celes dives for the bandanna*



Lock "Don't worry, I won't let go! I'll never let go!"
*Lock pulls her up and flies back as she lands face-first on the catwalk*
*He walks over to her and chastises her*
"You silly fool! You almist died going back for that thing!"
*Edgar and Setzer run off*
*The room starts to shake again and Lock is shocked!*
*Lock grabs Celes and drags her off, and both run away*

They're gonna have an interesting relationship when this is all over...



(7:26) Tina as Tina Branford

The ornate glass sparkles briefly. (If you can't tell somehow, this image is a metaphor for Tina's unique heritage; the plain glass representing her human side, the ornate one her Eidolon side.)



Madeen "Tina, my daughter. Eidolons are disappearing from this world. Your Eidolon blood is strong, but you may not disappear."
Madeen "If there is something important to you in the world of humans...... You may be able to live on in this world as a human..."
*Tina nods and Madeen's Magirock vanishes in a puff of green smoke*
*The others leave; Tina, after a brief pause, follows*

So there is hope for her, at least!



(8:24) Relm as Relm Arrowny

The paintbrush sparkles briefly. Lotta sparkles in these ending transitions, huh?



*Relm walks up and grabs her grandpa*
Strago "Sorry, but..."
Relm "If you complain any more, Relm will draw your portrait!"
*Stragos hops out of Relm and freaks out!*
Strago "Uwaaah! Don't make such bold threats, don't."
*Relm walks up and grabs her grandpa again, then slowly starts walking them down the conveyor belt*
Relm "... ...Even so. Relm really would like to do a portrait of you some day, on canvas."
Strago "Relm...... This isn't the time for such thoughts...... We need to get out of here first, we do."

(9:12) Shadow as Shadow

Lotta one-name-only characters in this party, did you notice? This animation is of two shurikens hitting an apple.



Aww, so much for Shadow.



(10:01) Strago as Stragus Magus

The book flips its pages. Yeah, it's the same transition that we started with. Full circle and all that.



Operation Abandon Strago has failed!



Why thank you. And now begins the second half of the ending, for which I'll be quiet.

Okay, that's enough of me being quiet. Roll credits!



Final Fantasy VI was LPed before a live forum audience.



Special considerations provided by:

Narche Mining Company: Serving your mining needs for all time! Nothing short of the end of the world will stop us!



And by:

Edgar Figaro's Refugee Services: Lost your home? All are welcome, especially women!

And by:

South Figaro Restoration Commitee: Should our town be knocked down a hundred times, we'll rebuild it 101 times! Come live in New South Figaro, or live in New South Figaro Two instead if you'd rather!



And by:

Duncan's School of Martial Arts: We'll teach you the most impractical forms of martial arts or your money back! We snub our immediate relatives so you too can become improbably awesome!



And by:

The Returners, Inc.: Need a revolution? Hire us! We have years of experience trying to overthrow the Ghastra regime!



And by:

Lethe River Rafting Safari: Experience the thrill of whitewater rafting today! The management assumes no responsibility for lives lost due to giant purple octopuses.



And by:

Crazy Steve's Home Maintenance: Need your clocks repaired? Your bed fixed? Your grass trimmed? Your roof re-shingled? Go find someone else! Goddamn kids and your door-to-door soliciting...

And by:

Cayene's "Doma Reborn" Project: Let us revive our fallen empire! Comrades, join me in resurrecting a once-proud empire! And no, you don't have to say "sir" to everything... sir.



And by:

The 1st Annual Serpent Trench Marathon: Join us in jogging from Mobriz to Nikeah! Free Elixirs to all participants!



And by:

The Opera House: Staging rousing performances for your delectation every six months! We apologize for any footprints you may get on your head from our actors jumping off-stage in fright.



And by:

The Zozo Consortium: We're honest merchants who will gladly give you the time of day! Come visit our town and most definitely don't get mugged and left for dead on the streets!



And by:

The Thamasa Outreach Program: We're all good people! Come and visit any time, and we promise not to chase you out of our town any longer!

(I'm going to shut up now and let you enjoy the last part of the ending in peace.)

♪♪ Prelude ♪♪

Final Fantasy VI
The End

Ok, done now? When you suggested that whoever posted first would win, I should have known not to even try....

You'd think it's just an oversight but later versions of the game still have that problem, even though they get rid of a secondary Rippler bug where Rippler would still take effect even if it says it missed, so it's meant to do that (I doubt it) or it's a major and fundamental flaw in the code (feels more likely, sadly).

Anyway, on to the final battle!


Mog’s team shimmies through the vent; once all three parties are standing on a switch we get a fancy light show.


“Welcome, friends! I knew you’d make it here, so I’ve prepared some suitable entertainment for you!”
“How long are you going to let the destruction continue?”
KEFKA: I’ve tapped into the ultimate power. Observe...!


[KEFKA picks up LOCKE as well.]
KEFKA: I will exterminate everyone, and everything!
[STRAGO steps forward.]
“People will keep rebuilding the things you take from them!
[KEFKA turns the red sky dark.]


“Why do people cling to life when they know they can’t live forever? Think how meaningless each of your lives is!”


“It’s the day-to-day concerns, the personal victories, and the celebration of life...and love!”
[KEFKA magically flings TERRA to his other side.]
“It’s enough if people are able to experience the joy that each day can bring!
KEFKA: And have you found your “joy”, in this nearly dead world of ours?
“Yes!”
[TERRA jumps down and takes her place in the lineup again.]


Locke: And I have learned to celebrate life...and the living.
Shadow: I know what friendship is... and family...
Edgar: It is my dream to build a kingdom in which I can guarantee freedom, and dignity.
Sabin: I have come to experience anew the love of my brother!
Celes: I’ve met someone who can accept me for what I am.
Strago: I have a special little Granddaughter!
Setzer: My friend’s airship... and her love!
Mog: I have my friends here!
Gau: You my friends! Me uwaooo all of you!


Hands down my favorite line in the game. I’ve used it in real life! Just in case you missed it thanks to the game putting all the whitest characters right where the text goes:
KEFKA: This is sickening... You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet! Prepare yourselves!
[KEFKA’s forcefield takes on an ominous red and white pattern.]
KEFKA: Now, for my next trick, I will make you all...disappear!
“Kefka, you don’t know what you’re doing! Stop!”


[The scene cuts back to the top of the tower.]
KEFKA: I command the greatest power in the universe! You are all helpless before me!

[Another debris spire rises up, with TERRA riding it.]
“Life will go on! There will always be people, and dreams!”
KEFKA: No! I will hunt them down. I will destroy it all! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!!
[LOCKE rides another spire up.]
“We will not allow you to harm another living thing.”
KEFKA: Hee, hee, hee!! But what fun is destruction if no “precious” lives are lost!


[The scene pans back down to the SCOOBY GANG.]
“It’s over, Kefka!


Before the final battle, you’re given a chance to arrange all twelve characters you brought into a single giant battle roster. The idea here is that during the final boss gauntlet that’s coming up you’ll take the characters into battle in the order you determine here, starting with the first four characters on the list; any party members with the Wounded status after you beat a boss will be phased out and replaced with the next character on the list. My first time fighting the boss gauntlet was kind of awkward until I realized what was happening and why I shouldn’t put Gau, Setzer, and Strago in my top four (at least not with the ways I was using them back then – M.Tek Armor Rage all the time, Slots or single attacks with the Graedus, and default Lores only? Ah, the folly of youth....).

I somehow managed not to get a shot of my completed lineup for the boss gauntlet, but I can remember it pretty well:
Terra
Sabin
Setzer
Gogo
Celes
Uh... Shadow?
Edgar?
And then just filling in everyone else more or less in their order on the left side. If I have enough characters dying to get me past that top seven, I’m going to have more fundamental problems than whether Locke or Umaro is first in the rotation. (Which isn’t to say I’ve never taken either of them to the final battle, of course.) You can probably see what my strategy will be already – Sabin, Setzer, and Gogo bring the pain and Terra heals, with the occasional Illumina/Soul Sabre combo thrown in to top off her MP.


And thus we come to Tier I of the final boss. While this thing looks like one big enemy, there are actually three targets to it: the Face, the Long Arm (the open hand) and the Short Arm (the fist). As befits the first round of a boss gauntlet, this fight is largely a speed bump. The Long Arm only has physical attacks and a weak single-target magic attack called Shockwave and can be hit by Instant Death attacks. Doom it if you can, then ignore it. The Short Arm is no worse. It can hit you with a physical attack or VacuumWave, which is also a physical attack. It’s weak to Water attacks, but taking it out should be a low priority.

The real threat here, such as there is one, is the Face, which uses Reverse Polarity to switch the party’s rows and Slip Hit to give you Seizure. Once it’s down to about a third of its health it’ll throw Dread into the mix to Petrify party members (which I believe will also cause them to cycled out if you move on to the next tier while they’re in that status).


But that can be evaded or blocked anyway; same with Slip Hit.

Seizure can be nasty if it’s hanging around long enough, but the most direct damage anything in this can do is the Quake spell Face can cast if you kill it after killing one or both of the Arms. It shouldn’t be enough to kill anyone if you’re keeping everyone healed up with the best armor available, though it’s still a good idea to hit Face with your best Fire attacks before working on the Arms.


Once all three parts of Tier I are destroyed, the party is phased out of existence for a moment and we scroll up to the next Tier.