A Tale of Two Scripts: Let's play FF3 US & FF6 RPGOne!

Well, this LP could be where I heard about it! It sounds like one of those things that's easy to miss just because who would ever think to try it?

Pretty much.

Last time, Kefka and Gestahl lifted up a major chunk of the Southern Continent, making a lovely new dungeon for us. But first, personal story time!

I bought the game used at Kmart from some reseller that used generic blue and white packaging and included just a small strip of paper with some poorly transcribed commands and a really bad description of the gameplay. Still, I’d heard of these “role-playing games” and my curiosity was piqued – that was like that Dungeons and Dragons thing where you got to make your own characters and tell a story, right? Awesome! I fired up the game, and knowing vaguely what save files were I picked the one with the middle time, figuring I’d get a sneak peek at things to come without spoiling anything from the end game.


This is basically the first thing in the game I ever saw: Setzer (or Elric, as the file had him) being tractor beamed out of a tiny cave accompanied by train sounds, only to emerge into the weird organic wasteland of the Floating Continent. I stumbled forward through the dungeon, protected from my own newb-ness by slightly ground-up party members.


“The airship’s below! Do you wish to return? N/Y”
Shadow: I sold my skills to the Empire... I have no right to fight together with you. *runs off*
“Return”? That sounds like going backwards in the epic tale of Elric, Shaena, Frisky, and Ghost and their struggles against Kefka and the mysterious dog-emperor Gestahl! I won’t truck with that for my spoilers, no sir. I pressed on, stumbled through the boss battle, and then when Julia showed up, and Ghost... well, that’s all coming in couple minutes, I’ll leave it until then. Suffice to say I knew I had to play the entire game at that point.


In this playthrough, I returned to the Blackjack, got a last couple of Rages on the Veldt, then returned with a party of Mog, Gau, and Sabin. Re-entering the dungeon drops you off at the same entrance, to pick up Shadow all over again. This time, with fresh memories of the dungeon and team that dish out more raw damage, I zip through the dungeon in just a few minutes.


One thing I caught this time through is this other Lore Strago can learn from Apokryphos. L.4 Flare actually has a 10% increase in power over the regular spell form of Flare, in addition to costing slightly less in MP. (Apokryphos also has L.3 Muddle, but I never saw it use the ability this playthrough.)


“I am pure energy... and as ancient as the cosmos. Feeble creatures, GO!”
With the exception of optional superboss Intangir, Atma here is the strongest enemy in the world of Balance. Its attack mix depends on how much HP it has remaining – from 24K to 12,801 HP it only uses Flare and Blaze, non-elemental and fire attacks respectively, that are fairly powerful but not a real threat.

In the next phase, from 12,800 to 6,145 HP, Atma gets worse. It has a set turn list in this phase, starting off by casting Bio, Meteo, or Quake (this last one is what we hope for, since we’re still wrapped up nice and cozy in our Gaia Gears). The turn after that it uses a physical attack, either normal or Full Power; next is a full-party Fire2. Fourth turn it uses Mind Blast, which targets four random party members and inflicts random status effects (so everyone can be hit by one effect, or two with one and one with two, etc.). After that it charges up and uses Flare Star, an ability that takes a random enemy, multiplies their level by eighty, and then deals that much unblockable fire-elemental damage spread out among the party. At average levels this will work out to about ~2000-2500 damage divided among all living party members; 600 damage to four standing characters is a lot easier to deal with than 1200 damage to your two living guys, so keep your party members awake by any means necessary.

It’s quite possible to power through that phase before Atma hits the Flare Star turn. Once it’s down to 6,144 HP or lower, Atma stops being cutesy and brings out the nasty stuff: Quartr and W Wind simply reduce the party’s HP by 3/4 and 15/16 respectively, leaving you easy prey for a physical attack or Rasp to kill a character next turn, or (heavens forfend) a Blaze to wipe out the party. To cap it all off, AtmaWeapon has a 33% chance of countering any attack with Flare in this phase.


Shadow Throws all the Ninja Stars we’ve collected from Ninja drops on the Floating Continent before switching back to regular Shurikens. Sabin uses his usual Blitzes, Mog dances the Earth Blues, and Gau uses the Chickenlip Rage.

Look, I’ll admit that I just kind of picked this strategy by autopilot, as I’d been using the same basic thing throughout this run of the dungeon; it’s really not the best. Because AtmaWeapon is immune to Instant Death and is tagged for some inexplicable reason (probably purely for balance) as Flying, two of Earth Blues’ attacks miss it automatically. With Mog perma-Hasted by relics, that’s a lot of wasted turns. Instead, I should have used Wind Song or even Water Rondo – after passing the 50% Stumble check for not being in their native territories, they would only have 1/16 or 2/16 chances of doing nothing with a turn respectively, unlike the 7/16 chance Earth Blues has to whiff.

As for using Chickenlip with Gau, well, Quake may not damage AtmaWeapon, but it does keep our health constantly topped up more easily than slinging Potions or Terra’s Cure spell (she does eventually get Cure2 at level 33, but at this point she’s got a good 6-7 levels to go before she learns it). Speaking of characters we didn’t bring with us, Locke could have Captured a Ribbon from Atma if he were here, not to mention smacking AtmaWeapon around with the Atma Weapon.


Shadow: I sold my skills to the Empire... I have no right to fight together with you.


GESTAHL: Well, well...
[CELES magically appears on the staircase behind the party as GESTAHL is talking.]
“Celes!! Welcome back!”
Celes: I came to stop you!
GESTAHL: Fwa, ha, ha... Then you’re just in time to perish. Behold! The Statues!!
[The STATUES glow and fire out sparks, which GESTAHL absorbs.]
GESTAHL: Ooh! I’ve got goose bumps! What power...
Celes: Emperor Gestahl! Please, stop this madness!


[Sparks of magic shoot out, knocking CELES out of the way and binding MOG, SABIN, AND GAU. CELES climbs back up the slope.]
GESTAHL: Celes... Come to me, my pretty! You and Kefka were given life to serve me!! It is your birthright to rule the world with me!!
KEFKA: Kill the others and we’ll overlook your treachery! [He takes a weapon from GESTAHL and offers it to CELES.] Take this sword! Take care of them. Immediately!!
[CELES stands over SABIN.]
GESTAHL: Celes... together we can rule an entire world! Think of it...!
[KEFKA stands behind CELES to egg her on.]
Celes [lowers her arm and looks down]: Power only breeds war... I wish I’d never been...born.


The best part of this is the little midi *shlick* that accompanies the stabbing. This whole scene is one of the most powerful in the game, but for all that happens in this scene it’s that one little sound effect I always remember.

KEFKA [shocked]: B...blood!? You...vicious brat! Grrr... Aargh... [He throws himself to the ground.] I hate hate hate hate hate hate... hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU! Grrr...
[KEFKA stands and raises his arms to the STATUES.]
KEFKA: Goddesses...you were born only to fight. I implore you...show me your power!! [Nothing happens and he steps between them.] I command you! Give me your power! Arrrgh! Curses!
[The STATUES glow, but still don’t listen to KEFKA.]
KEFKA: Listen to me, or you’ll regret it! Give me...POWER!
GESTAHL: Kefka, stop it! Revive those statues, and you’ll destroy the very world we’re trying to possess!
KEFKA: Shuddap!


KEFKA: Nuts...?! Emperor! Don’t disturb me! I’m showing them the meaning of power!
GESTAHL: I don’t think so, friend. Your days are now over. Now relax... ...I’m simply going to put you to sleep with the very power you unleashed... ...
[KEFKA looks worried for a moment, but starts laughing.]
GESTAHL: What’s so funny?! Very well. It is only fitting that you go to sleep laughing! Fire 3!!! [Nothing happens and KEFKA wags his finger at GESTAHL.] Flare!!! N... ...noooo!! Why isn’t my magic working?! Merton!!! K... ...Kefka!!!!! H... ...how...?!


KEFKA: How? Simple! I’m standing within the field of the Statues! Their strong field absorbs all magic sent their way! Or didn’t you notice?!
GESTAHL: ... ... ... ...!!!
KEFKA: And now, Statues! You’ve shown me a sign! It is time you show this old man your true power!
GESTAHL: No! Kefka!! Don’t do something stupid... ...
KEFKA: I command you, Statues!!!


[KEFKA and GESTAHL are both thrown to the ground by the blast.]
KEFKA: I... ...incredible!
[Another bolt knocks them down again. KEFKA stands up.]
KEFKA: You’re way off!!!! Where’re you aiming?!
[A third bolt narrowly misses the prone GESTAHL.]
KEFKA: Whoa! More to the right!
[GESTAHL stands and tries to run off screen, but another near miss knocks him back.]
KEFKA: Run! Run! Or you’ll be well done!


[GESTAHL collapses.]
(I’m not impressed that the Statues only needed to connect with Gestahl once to take him down – if Japanese media has taught me anything, it’s that everything has some sort of wave motion gun that does massive damage. It’s the fact that the Statues can fire theirs off five times in rapid succession that shows off their power, if you ask me.)
KEFKA: YES!!! [He runs over and kicks GESTAHL several feet.] Poor old... ... Oh well, what a worthless excuse of an Emperor!!
GESTAHL: There’ll be no one to worship us...


[KEFKA throws GESTAHL from the side of the Floating Continent.]
Celes: Snap out of it, Kefka!
[KEFKA smacks CELES and sends her tumbling down to the edge of the island, then starts moving the rightmost Statue, causing the screen to flash.]
Celes: Oh, that’s really smart, Kefka! Disturb their delicate balance, and they’ll go haywire...!


[The sparks flying between the Statues increase as KEFKA disturbs their balance. As he moves the top statue, a whistle is heard from offscreen.]
KEFKA: Who’re you?!


[SHADOW lands next to CELES and pulls her to level ground with another jump. He grabs the demon Statue and starts pushing it against KEFKA.]


KEFKA: Noooo!
[With KEFKA pinned between the STATUES, the MOG, SABIN, and GAU are able to throw off his magical bindings.]
Shadow: Go! There are people counting on you!
[The PARTY approaches the STATUES but a magical force knocks them over the side to a different part of the Floating Continent.]
Shadow: Don’t worry about me! Run!! I can’t stop this chain reaction! I’ll see you again. Count on it!
KEFKA: You can’t escape me!!
[The screen flashes and a spark of magic flies past the PARTY.]


And here we are in the last section of the dungeon. Fortunately for us, all it has is one kind of enemy for random encounters – Naughties are jesters that generally start off battle by Freezing one of your party members so they can’t be used this battle and will Flee if they’re Imped. Fire and Bolt are both strong against it, but at this point you can probably beat them down normally without much trouble. They’re just a distraction from the real gimmick of this section:



The Floating Continent is collapsing and we only have six minutes to get to safety.

Of course, the only time the collapsing island matters is in trying to get treasure. Go straight for it and that little chunk of land in front of the staircase falls out from in front of you, but go around and you can claim the Elixir.


“Mwa ha ha... ...You can’t run!”
Nerapa’s right, the party can’t run from this battle. It starts off the fight by using Condemned on the entire party, starting countdowns to instant death for each of our characters. This is the single longest part of the fight, as Nerapa has even less HP than a Naughty. It’s a little better on defense since it has auto-Reflect, but Celes is the only one who cares about that on our side. It will cast Roulette if we attack it six times without killing it, but we’d need to be averaging less than 470 damage per attack for that to happen. As long as you go into this battle with at least forty seconds for the Condemned animation to run four times, Nerapa’s going to be barely a speed bump for you.


You can immediately jump to safety if you want, but the game wouldn’t give you an option to wait if there wasn’t a reason to do so, would it?


“Shadow!”
Shadow: I’ll be blown to bits before I can even collect my pay...
Sure enough, when the timer runs down to five seconds, Shadow catches up with us. If you just jumped without him, he’d have been left on the collapsing Floating Continent with no way to safety and never to be seen again.

Hands up anyone who saved Shadow their first time through without spoilers. Everyone with their hand up is a horrible, horrible liar.


Shadow jumps down after the party...


“No, they’re solids!”
Alright, I’ll do my best with screenshots for this next session, but it’s one of the top three cinemas in the game easily, so have a video.

Well, the end of everything seems like a good time to end the update. See you next time.

Part XXI - It's the End of the World as we Know It

And oddly enough, I feel fine. Anyway, last time the party got a surprise and had to storm the floating continent instead of Vector to catch up with the Emperor. He's a sly dog, that one! Now they're about halfway through the liberated landmass and on their way to finish the madman and his assistant madman off.



After a quick nap, we resume our trek.



Perhaps some need a return trip to earth, but not me. I'm crazy prepared! Time to smack a clown and dictator down!



Well, at least I'll show you what Shadow says if you hop onto the airship. He doesn't want to join the party after all. What a shock.



Looks like the Empire's set up some sort of guard dog... beast... thing.



♪♪ Fierce Battle ♪♪

Ultima Weapon? As in THE Ultima Weapon? The beast component of that currently-not-very-useful lightsaber we found in the Sealed Gate cave? Uh oh...

I was made long ago by the highest force......
My existence is pure power......
Weak and useless beings, flee should you wish to survive!!

Probably not a bad idea.



Thanks for the bad advice, Ulty!



Dude's got some classy hair-wear on him!



He hits like a truck, naturally. I feel so underleveled...



Ouch! That would've hurt a lot more if not for the Gaia Gear I had. Still, Edgar and Tina will be feeling THAT one in the morning!



Poor Tina's getting the short end of the stick this fight, huh?

I have no idea what that was, but damn am I glad it missed!



Well, it didn't miss poor Edgar. Fortunately, Holy Water fixed that Zombie status up right fast.



I'm gonna hope that means cake.



Is it gonna be cake!?



That doesn't sound like cake at all.



OH HOLY MOTHER OF PAIN!



Well, now that the party's gotten the heat death of the universe to their face, things can only go up from here, right?



Hahahaha I wish. He's countering with Flare now, the bastard.

Oh, and Graviga. If anything, he's 10 times worse now.



Fortunately he still picks his regular attacks at random!



Oh you son of a bastard.



And I had Lock and Edgar queued up to attack, too! Is this gonna be game over?



Wait what?



♪♪ Victory ♪♪

I WON!? Holy crap! Okay, that totally had to be the last boss. Whatever comes next must be cutscenes, because if not, goddamn you Square.



Yeah, they're dropping a portion of my party on me. That was definitely the last fight. I hope.

♪♪ Catastrophe ♪♪

The party hidden by a dialogue box, of course!



Oh there they are. And hey, Celes arrived! I guess she's required for the ending cinematics?

Celes "I came to help you stop the Empire!"
*Celes steps forward*
Ghastra "Fwaha... So, you have come to die, then... Behold! The Three Gods of Battle!!"
*Ghastra nods to the party and looks at the statues*
*The statues start to glow and make pulsing noises as energy from them gets diverted to Ghastra*



This is bad. This is very bad.

Celes "Emperor Ghastra! Please, stop!"



That's the opposite of stopping, dude.



Great, now we're all screwed.



With the help of you and Kefka, we can forge a new Ghastra's Empire, and rule the world!"

Dude's got serious ambitions. Oh no, I don't have to do a solo fight with him and Celes, do I?



Wow, harsh.



Does Kefka really think Celes is gonna do it?



Don't listen to them, Celes!



Celes, NO!



That's the spirit! Okay, kinda suicidal, but still!



Hah, take that ya damn clown! That's gonna leave a mark.



She totally just carved a great big "C" into his left cheek, Zorro-style.



Kefka freaks out and screams about his little cut. I sense incoming stupidity...



Yep, here it comes...

♪ Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll...
Kyle's mom is a bitch,
She's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
On Monday she's a bitch,
On Tuesday she's a bitch,
On Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch,
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
She's a super, king, kameha-meha BIATCH! ♪

♪ Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a mean old bitch,
And she has stupid hair,
She's a



My, he has quite the potty mouth. This was downright Cartman-inspired, wasn't it?

...Actually, no. This is one of those delightful moments when the differences between Japanese and English rear their ugly heads. In Japanese, "chikushou" (which is what Kefka is screaming) more or less translates to "bitch" (or alternatively "concubine" aka. "whore"). The problem is that it's a relatively tame curse in Japanese (yes, they have far worse than that), and of course it was never turned into a refuge-in-vulgarity song by South Park.

I went through a lot of hell trying to find a way to translate this part of the script and not have it be completely idiotic. Obviously I failed, mostly because at the time I was still in my anti-localization phase. Though in my defense, it was a lot worse for various earlier revisions. A lot a lot. Now, of course, I realize I could've gotten much the same effect with "Damn damn damn damn etc. damn you!" instead and still kept the spirit of the idea. In fact, it would keep the spirit of the idea much better than my chosen South Park solution. Hindsight, thou art a (ahem) bitch sometimes.



Back to the story, Kefka is doing something monumentally stupid!



And with predictable results.



Naturally, he doesn't know when to quit.

*The statues glow in protest*
*Kefka looks at the statues*
Kefka "Listen, you stupid bitches, I have you an order. Show me your power!!"
*Ghastra walks over to Kefka*
Ghastra "Kefka! Stop! If we revive the Three Gods of Battle here, they will destroy our world... Then, all that we have worked for will be meaningless!"
Kefka "Shut the hell up!"
*Battle transition!*



NO, REALLY!?

*Kefka jumps*
Kefka "Insane......? Emperor! I don't have time for such nonsense, I'm trying to revive the Three Gods of Battle!"
*Ghastra jumps*
Emperor Ghastra "Yes, I suppose there's no other option left. Kefka, you have served your purpose, you are no longer needed. I regret to informy ou that I must now terminate you!"
*Kefka looks shocked!*
Emperor Ghastra "Now, don't fret...... Using the powers you've helped me draw forth, I'm simply going to put you down into your eternal rest."
*Kefka starts laughing silently*
Emperor Ghastra "What is it that you find so amusing!?"
*Kefka just keeps laughing*
Emperor Ghastra "Hmph, how appropriate...... It's only proper that a clown like you should be laid to rest laughing!"



This should be good.



Uh, he's looking decidedly less char-broiled than he should be. Did you run out of MP, maybe?

Seriously, what are you doing wrong?



Here, let me do it...



Maybe you just suck at magic, old man.

*Kefka hops over to Ghastra's side*
Emperor Ghastra "How can this be??"
*Kefka punts the Emperor about 15 feet away!* {Dayum! Kefka should've been a soccer player!}
Kefka "How? I'm stanting between the Three Gods of Battle, of course! All magic in this area is absorbed by them! Or did you somehow fail to notice this......? Huahahaha!" {Well, one mystery solved, at least.}
*Ghastra gets up*
Emperor Ghastra "............!" {Dude's been taking punctuation lessons from Konami!}
*Kefka faces away from Ghastra, arms held high*
Kefka "Oh Three Gods of Battle, you have shown me your strength! Show tihs sorry excuse for an Emperor just what you can do!"
*Ghastra runs up behind Kefka*
Emperor Ghastra "Give it up, Kefka! Such foolish intimidation won't......"
*Kefka faces Ghastra, arms still raised*
Kefka "I command you to act!"

Maybe Ghastra can get in a face-stab of his own here and put an end to this.



Holy crispy critters, Batman!



And destructive, to boot!



Those things pull about 5 feet to the right, huh?



You, hopefully.

No, your OTHER right!



Damn it, me! Stop translating everything literally!



Welp, so much for the Emperor. Somehow we're even more screwed than when Leo died.



Kefka, as ever, shows he has no respect for the dead and punts Ghastra's corpse around like he did Leo's.



but I'm afraid you played your part, and it was time for you to die! Now then, how's about a nice, painful fall to the earth below for your death!?"
*Fade out as Kefka laughs silently!*

I see what you did there, spinning his words around on him. You're such a classhole, Kefka.



Just like you wanted all along! Kefka must've known it's your birthday.



Something tells me he's not gonna survive that fall.



Uh, Celes? Not smart.



Really, really not smart.



Oh shit you're not seriously...?



He's recentering himself as the nexus of their magic! And someone's arrived, it seems. Who could it be?



It's Shadow! With improbable life-saving skills!

Yay go Shadow!



We're free!



Like, how!?

*The party approaches Kefka and Shadow, and get blasted off!*
Shadow "Don't fret about me. Go now! Don't concern yourself with my safety! Hmph... I'll catch up with you later. Don't worry."
Kefka "You can't escape me..."
*The sky flashes and turns dark as Kefka launches a glowing something!*



That appears to be where we want to go to.



Hurry! We have to escape!"
*A 6-minute timer starts!*

♪♪ Metamorphosis ♪♪

Oh tension!



The whole landmass starts to fall apart as we cross it! This is so bad I can't even begin to tell you how bad it is!



It's not just falling apart, it's falling to pieces! Runrunrunrunrun!



These fuckers keep delaying us on the way. Fortunately you can kill it with fire, so they don't remain a problem for long.



More breakage!



I think it's safe to say that we won't be coming back here later...



This crack is deceptive...



Taking the long way around somehow prevents the collapse and gets you an Elixir! Hey, anything to put the fight in our favor...



So this is our boss, huh? Let's do this!



We'll see about that!



He's got Reflect and cast Death Sentence on us, so we basically have to melee him to death. Delightful.

We made it! But... why do you hesitate, Tina?



Oh right, him... Okay, he's got a minute and a half, and then we HAVE to go. Kapische?



He's cutting it mighty fine, isn't he? Fine, 6 more seconds!



5 seconds to the end and NOW he shows up!

Shadow "I can't die now, I have things left to do before I depart from this world."
*Everyone jumps onto the airship*



If there is, it's way too late for that now. But surely everything will work out okay! We can't lose, we're the good guys!



It's okay, we can deal with this!



No really, everything's under control!



Islands ripped apart? Happens every day, we can fix that with some Sellotape later!



Huge stretches of land split apart like that on a daily basis too!



Mountains collapsing? Had one do that just last Thursday!



Setzer totally meant for his airship to break in half, really!



Those giant world-engulfing explosions? Not a problem!



An entire continent getting ripped in half? ...Okay, yeah, we're fucked.



And how. Well folks, that was just a bit traumatic for our heroes. They lost. They really, really, REALLY lost. Is the game over? Did we do something wrong somehow? Of course not. Come back next time to see what's going to happen next!

(For those curious, when I first played the game, my expectations and reactions were more or less what I posted these last few updates: that the party would storm Vector after getting out of Thamasa, then that they'd totally win on the floating continent and that would be the end of the game. Seeing everything go so incredibly wrong at the end was something of a shock for me, to say the least. Even moreso when I realized that the game expected me to keep going afterwards. Keep in mind, FF6 was my first FF ever, so I didn't know to look for the usual indicators that the game wasn't even near over, like the fact that I hadn't yet gotten the third-tier spells.)

amok.

HATEHATEHATE flows a lot better, yeah...

Are you, by any chance, with the Department of Redundancy Department? :-)

Thanks for spotting that. I've been rather busy today, so I haven't had time to go make my traditional post-update corrections as necessary.

First playthrough of this game as a kid I knew that I needed to wait if the game was giving me an option. So I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. But when the timer hit ten seconds and nothing had happened so I felt like I needed to hurry up and get the hell out of there before that place fell out of the sky!

If only I had waited five more seconds!

This is exactly what happened to me. Guess which character got named Adam.

I honestly can't remember if I left Shadow or had it spoiled, but I know for a fact that I wouldn't have waited on my own. For me the thought of permanently losing a major character was unthinkable at that time.

Yeah, seems to be a common theme, that. I didn't include the shot of the timer at 11 seconds by coincidence; first time through, that was when I gave up on Shadow too. For LP completeness sake, I let it count down to Shadow's arrival this time, of course.

I definitely did not wait for Shadow my first time through, playing without a guide. Didn't even consider it. Jumped immediately. I was probably way too "in the moment" of things to even consider that they wouldn't have put that option in if there wasn't some sort of reason to take it. All I knew was that there was a timer counting down to my death, awesome things were happening in the game, and jumping off that ledge was the only obvious way to a) stop the timer, and b) make the awesome things continue to happen.

This.

Thanks to the fact I subscribed to two or three game magazines when FF VI III came out, I had spoiled most of the major game secrets for myself. So not waiting for Shadow never was an issue for me. It's kind of a shame. The game comes off as a lot less deep during the second half and challenging if you already know where to find everyone and everything. Vanish/Doom and Ultima turn the game into a total cakewalk. Whenever I play through now, I usually have to handicap myself to keep it interesting.

If Lacuna, Inc existed in real life, I would probably use it to erase my memories of this game so I could play it fresh.

I'm in the same boat as MJG as far as my first playthrough of the game went. They were obviously going to a lot of trouble to get you all excited and going as fast as you could, why would they want you to stop?

Anywho, this is just a short public service announcement. Real life's been a real jerk this week so tomorrow's update will be a short one, "read during your smoke break"-sized rather than the "curl up next to a warm fire for the evening to read it"-sized like some of our other updates.

I'm ...fairly sure my sibling spoiled me on saving Shadow on my first go.

I was in the "waited until there was only 10 seconds left and then jumped the gun" group. Honestly I had to print out a faq from the early days of gamefaqs before I knew how to save Shadow. I was too afraid to wait the extra five seconds otherwise.

Part XXII - After the End

So last time... bad things happened. Very bad things. Literally world-shattering things. But hey, I'm sure the planet can come back from something as minor as the reawakening of three gods of magic under the control of a raving lunatic. Right?



Er... not right. The world is officially fucked up and is not going back to how it was. Never ever again. And apparently it's always late afternoon now, for some reason. I guess you can't have the Apocalypse at any other time of day.



A desolate beach with a lone seagull. Okay, where's my party?



Destroyed house, still no party. I wonder if we're watching a David Lynch film here?



Oh there's a party member! Given the blonde hair and tiara, I'm guessing that's Celes.



Suddenly Cid walks in and checks the kettle. ...This IS a David Lynch film, isn't it?



He gives Celes a quick check, but apparently she's out cold. Over to the desk he goes to sit down.



Celes suddenly wakes up!



Finally, some dialogue!

*Cid walks over to Celes*
Cid "Celes, at last......!"
*Celes blinks*
Cid "You've finally woken up?" {Unless she's a very adept sleepwalker, I think the fact that she's standing up is an affirmative on that, Cid.}
Celes "I...... How long was I asleep?"

Oh man, hopefully not too long. We've gotta rally the troops and take down Kefka before he gets too powerful! Tell me it was just a week or so tops?



No. No! I slept too long!

Celes "For a whole year... Cid, you brought me here and took care of me during that time?"
*Cid walks towards the doorway a bit*
Cid "Yes, but now I'm starting to have troubles." {Back troubles, I bet. This place has only one bed, and Celes has been hogging it for a year straight!}
*Celes looks around the cabin a bit*
Cid "We're on a small and uninhabited island. After the world was torn asunder, I woke up here, and found that we'd been thrown onto this island."
Celes "Torn asunder...... So it wasn't just a dream."

We all wish it was, Celes. We all wish it was.



Funny she's worried about him now when she couldn't stand the sight of him not that long ago.

Cid "I don't know. We're the only ones on this island... For all I know, this island is all that's left of our world." {That would make for a very short game, so Cid's definitely wrong on that one.}
Cid "The world is getting worse every day...... There were others on this island when I came to, but they're all dead now. One died quickly, another went mad and killed himself, another died of sorrow, one drowned himself, and the last one jumped off the cliff at the North Cape."

Dayum. I'm not sure if I translated that all correctly, but regardless, FF6 just went there vis-a-vis depression-based suicide.



Don't you get emo on me too, Celes.

*Cid walks up to Celes*
Cid "Celes. Don't lose hope. You're the closest thing I have to family in this world. We can just live out our lives quietly here, together."
Celes "...... You're right, Cid...... Or rather, grandfather. Do you mind me calling you that?"
Cid "Grandfather!? Hehe, I guess I have a granddaughter now, then...... *cough* *cough*" {Bad me, BAD! You don't enclose coughs in quotes!}
Celes "Oh, grandfather."
*Celes nods*
Cid "Hahaha... *cough* *cough*"
Celes "Grandpa, can I get you anything?"
Cid "Well, I haven't eaten anything in three days."
Celes "What would you like to eat?"
Cid "...If I don't ask for fish, I'm not going to get anything, so I guess that will do."
Celes "I'll go catch some."
*Celes puts Cid to bed*



♪♪ The Dark World ♪♪

There's nowhere to go on the island but the cottage...

Solitary Island
Enemies: Peeping Bear, Earth Protector, Black Dragon



There's fish in the sea, but Celes has no pole!



Apparently she's a master of fishing, as she just grabs a fish with her bare hands out of the sea! DAMN that woman's awesome! It's a good fish, so that's something.



Cid "Thank you. *munch* *munch* *munch*

Cid likes his fish raw, apparently. Eyuch.