A Tale of Two Scripts: Let's play FF3 US & FF6 RPGOne!

This is heavy!

The stability of this space/time distortion is highly suspect. Allow me to demonstrate with one specific location, Corlingen.



♪♪ Veldt ♪♪

As you can see here, the town is perfectly normal on the recently accessed World of Balance map.



♪♪ Kids Running Through the City Corner ♪♪

What's strange is, it's actually the World of Balance version of Corlingen when you enter town!



♪♪ The Day After ♪♪

But as soon as you enter a building...



The town reverts to the World of Ruin version!



♪♪ Veldt ♪♪

Naturally, going back to the world map deposits you in the World of Balance again. Overall, this glitch is weird and confusing. It's as if the world is suffering from the effects of Time Compression.

But not Time Kompression?

Kurse all LPers.

I was just going with the original Japanese. For some reason people keep misreading it as Time Sompression that way, though. :P

Once again I'm up well past my bedtime, but my loss of sleep is your gain!

Assuming you're reading this late at night and not ten hours from now when I would have been posting anyway.

Last week, as I recall, we picked up Relm and a bunch of other, much more useful things. This week we have another dungeon (and two places that like to pretend they’re dungeons) to beat and four last characters to pick up.


The dungeon in the center of the star is the epitome of places you’ll find on your own because you have an airship to mess around with. That little patch of grass in the middle of the star is just begging to have someone land there. Not that I did, at first. My first game I ended up not getting Locke back. No big loss.
“Right. We’re going in!”


This dungeon is the first actual dungeon to use the split party mechanics. The two times the mechanic’s used in the World of Balance, it’s just for a series of non-random battles. The only other dungeon to split up the party is Kefka’s Tower, which doesn’t have quite the same focus on having to play the parties in sync to solve puzzles.


It starts off easy enough – one party stands on the switch to let the other party through the first room, with the second party circling around to the switch on the ledge to let in the first one – lots of things like that.


Then Sabin gets taken out by Quartr immediately followed by Blow Fish. An embarrassing one-two combo, but at least he didn’t have to see the shame of a Confused Setzer dealing massive damage to Celes and giving himself an OHKO (amusingly, despite dealing almost eight thousand damage to himself, Setzer lived long enough to get in one last throw of the Fixed Dice and take out the Phaze). The monsters weren’t done with us yet and managed to get Zombie on Gogo before Celes could run.

The Phoenix Cave has an annoying habit of using your own power against you; you don’t want to come in at low levels, since the monsters here have good HP and decent attacks, but at the same time you’re going to have plenty of encounters with monsters who’ll use Confuse or Zombie then sit back and laugh as your powerful little party tears itself apart.

Terra’s party does even worse against the same encounter, with Edgar getting the same treatment as his brother, a Zombie Shadow using Instant Death attacks against the Undead Necromancer... it didn’t take long for them to be wiped out without killing a single monster.


Second attempt wasn’t going much better until I finally remembered I gave Gogo the Heal Rod for a reason. Once I had Gogo on healing duty for his party, it becomes easier for the two parties to leapfrog their way through the simple puzzles on the top level. (Keep in mind that the party that steps on the first switch in that first room doesn’t seem to have to take as many steps in the dungeon as the other.)


And after plenty of circling around with both parties and eliminating damage floors, we finally get our empty chest. There’s only four chests that actually have anything in them in the Phoenix Cave, but that’s less than half the total chests in the dungeon. The annoying part is the four chests with actual stuff in them have decent stuff, too, so you can’t just avoid them.


First treasure: the chest near the front (which has a hole open in front of it if you don’t make the bridge before approaching it) has a good boomerang for Locke in it, with 198 battle power and chance of using Instant Death on hit.


Terra hits level 33 and learns the first new healing spell we’ve had in a while. Cure 2 costs fives time the MP of Cure for 2.8 times the magic power. Cure will still be more MP efficient for out-of-battle healing, but Cure 2 is good when you’re in battle and turns are more important than MP.


This is a little off the beaten path, but not much. It’s not really that exciting, but hey, it’s a tough dungeon and you might not have brought a Warp Stone with you.


The encounters actually get much easier once you’re off the top floor, in my opinion. Things generally don’t hit as hard or have as much HP, and the scariest-looking monster is the Chaos Drgn, which doesn’t actually do anything. It has a ten turn move list, eight turns of which are “Nothing (100%).” On its third and sixth turns it has a 33% chance of using Disaster (inflicts Float, Confuse, Blind, Doom, Imp, and Silence) and Incinerate (Instant Death), respectively, on one character. It’s got more HP than any other random in the dungeon, but that’s about it.

(Oddly enough, Chaos Drgns have a more complete move list when under Relm’s Control, adding Attack and Meteor to the list. It’s this move list they use if you run into one in the Colosseum.)


Terra’s group hits this switch, causing the lower row of stones to appear from the lava. Gogo’s group hops across, then across the upper row.


Gogo steps on this switch, moving the stone to the upper right so Terra can go past, circle around, and hit the other switch to let Gogo past the rock.

Gogo lowers these spikes,


Terra hops over some lava,


drains the water from the upper floor,


and cools the lava below so Gogo can loot the chests in a little bit (one of them contains a Ribbon!).


Gogo’s next switch lets Terra’s group take on the Red Dragon. Actually, if Terra stood in just the right place in that little stone corridor and Gogo moved off the switch, it would revert and let Terra go take Gogo’s spot and have Gogo go fight the dragon.

The dragon itself should be scary, but honestly I’ve been eager for a straight-up damage race like this for a while. The dragon has all sorts of scary fire things it can do in theory, but to do more than a Fire Ball and a Flare it would have to be able to deal damage faster than Bum Rush, dual-wielded Blizzards, and a Thrown Blizzard and Trident (with Gau healing with Quake/Gaia Gear cheese).

The Red Dragon does manage to dish out a decent amount of damage, though, and by the time I claim the number 3 katana, Strato, from him he’s taken out Shadow and reduced Terra and Gau to low HP.


One down, seven to go. And then of course I get in a random battle while running to collect the Dragon Horn from that treasure chest. And since we’re back on the top floor, it almost wipes me out; I need to use an X-potion to save myself and still end up running from battle once I take out the Phaze and can escape.


We grab the Dragon Horn (relic that gives a Jump user a 75% chance to Jump twice in one action, 18.75% chance for three times, and 6.25% for four Jumps – only usable with the DragoonBoots relic, as there’s no other practical way to Jump) and Gogo stands on a save point while we switch back to Terra’s group, allowing them to use a tent for a full heal.


Terra stands here and Gogo’s party makes their way through the flooded lava room and across the rocks Terra raised until...


he steps on this switch and Terra hits the other one, lowering the rock in front of us, marking the finish line of the dungeon.


Locke: You’re all safe! Behold... A legendary relic that can restore life... [LOCKE holds out a shining stone.]
“That looks like... Magicite...”
Locke: Correct! Legend has it that ages ago the Phoenix was turned to stone... And many legends are based on facts... This has some major cracks in it though... I fear it may have lost its power over time...
Celes: Locke... That’s for Rachel, isn’t it...?
Locke I wasn’t able to save Rachel... I’ve lost all sense of purpose... My life will have no meaning until I can right this terrible wrong...
“Will you come with us? Only as far as Kohlingen...”


Coot*: Uwaaaaaa! The Magicite’s gonna shatter!
[RACHEL opens her eyes.]
RACHEL: Locke...
Locke: Rachel!!!
[PHOENIX appears onscreen again.]
RACHEL: Locke... I’ve dreamed of seeing you. I wanted to hear your voice.
Locke: Rachel...
RACHEL: The Phoenix has given me so little time... I have to leave again soon... But I have something I must tell you...
Locke: ... ...
RACHEL: Locke... ... With you I was so happy... In the instant that the accident occurred, I thought only of you... And about the joy you brought me. Thank you, Locke... I’ll never forget you...
[PHOENIX disappears and RACHEL’s eyes close.]
Locke: RACHEL!!!!
RACHEL: I have to go now... ...I’ll always love you... You must now cast off the anguish you’ve been harboring inside for so long... Today I set your heart free. You must learn to love yourself again, and regain your self respect. ... ... Phoenix! Be reborn again!! And give your power...to Locke!!

*“Patriarch”? Yeah, not going to happen, old dude.

[PHOENIX brightens and flies off the top of the screen.]


Locke: Thanks, I’m okay... I feel lighter than air... From here on... I’ll be all right. Let’s go! We have work to do!!


[LOCKE runs back into the house and returns.]
“X-Potion”!
“Fenix Down”!
“X-Ether”!
“Elixir”!
“Flame Shld”!
“ValiantKnife”!
Locke: The treasures of the Phoenix Cave! Right, let’s move out! We have an appointment with Kefka!


“Long ago it was buried in a tomb to the west.”
Alright, that’s it for Locke. With that, we’re off.

We put the Falcon down outside of Narshe and immediately head into the mines through Locke’s secret entrance.


MOG: Kupoppo! You’re alive! I thought you were all feeding the worms, kupo! Kupohoho! Let’s go!
MOG: Say, we could use some sasquatch muscle!! Besides, he’d be helpless here without me! He’s somewhere in the mines. Once we find him, I’ll order him to join us!

And since I came here with only three characters, Mog joins us immediately. (And yes, the game does display his name as the default MOG in this scene despite my changing it to Mog.) I pick up the Moogle Charm from the wall where Mog was standing; it’s a Relic only Mog can use that will stop us from running into any random encounters.


Speaking of random encounters, the ones here are pushovers. They might have had some teeth if I’d come here a few hours ago, but as it is they don’t do anything new or interesting. Push’em over and get on with things. Mog with DragoonBoots, Dragon Horn, and a spear (which makes Jump do 2x damage instead of 1.5x) clears up anything left after Fixed Dice and Capture.


Almost all the doors in Narshe are locked in the World of Ruin. Locke, as the world-class TREASURE HUNTER!!! barely even notices such puny things as locks and is able to burst right into the buildings. Most of them are abandoned, but this one has a sick old man who gives us some armor:
“Cough... Take...this... “Cursed Shld”... If we could break its curse... Imagine its defensive power!”

The elder’s house nets us an elixir from a clock I didn’t check in the World of Balance, and the Weapon Shop gets us a real treasure.
“I’ve been waiting for you! I wanted to give you this.”


“If I melted it, and forged a sword, it’d be powerful! Well? Make this stone into a sword? Right. I’ll stay here. This is my home.”
This was an easy choice. At least as a sword, Ragnarok will be useful. It has 255 battle power, randomly casts Flare, gives +7 to Vigor, Stamina, and magic power, +3 to Speed, +30% to Evade and MBlock, and consumes MP to auto-crit. (Note that despite how many weapons have that last part, it’s not as useful an attribute as it sounds in my case since it seems to only work with characters who have the Magic command, or Celes and Terra.)

Ragnarok’s real use is to be bet in the Colosseum to get the Illumina: 255 battle power, +7 to Stamina, Vigor, Speed, and magic power, +50% Evade/MBlock, unblockable, deals the same damage from the back row, consumes 10 MP to auto-crit, and randomly casts Pearl when you attack. Some sources say it even ignores Defense. The only downside is that only Terra, Locke, Edgar, and Celes can equip it, but so what? I won’t mention it again, but you can rest assured that as soon as I got out of Narshe I ran off to the Colosseum to make the trade; Setzer with Fixed Dice, Offering, and RunningShoes cleans up over there.


Behind Narshe, we find another dragon. I ran past it just long enough to hit the save point behind it, but I got this, you guys. The Ice Dragon can Freeze party members and deal heavy Ice damage to the entire party with Absolute Zero, but it has only a little more than 24K HP and middling defenses. The standards take it down quickly. Two dragons down, six to go.

Also worth mentioning: this area is where we learn Mog’s final dance, Snowman Jazz. You can only learn this one here in the World of Ruin, since this is the only place that uses the snow background and the only fight here in the World of Balance is fighting off the Imperials, long before you get Mog. Its movelist is as follows:
Snowball - 7 in 16
Avalanche - 6 in 16
Snare - 2 in 16
Arctic Hare - 1 in 16

Snare you know, and Snowball is almost functionally identical to it (the main difference is that Snowball fails on Flying enemies). Avalanche deals Ice damage to all ground enemies, and Arctic Hare heals the party for an amount between Cure 2 and 3.


Behind the Ice Dragon, back where we got Mog in the World of Balance, we finally confront the ice-encased Esper Tritoch. He has 30K HP and 254 Defense, meaning almost all physical attacks deal damage in the low double digits. He’s immune to all elements but Fire, which he counters with Rasp. Rasp is all he does to me, actually, but it’s plenty – all his castings of Rasp in his normal turn list target Terra (possibly because she’s the only one with a Magic command?), so Terra only gets off a couple of Fire 2 spells before her MP is totally drained. SwdTech, Blitzes, Tools, Rages, Sketch, and Lores all have a 33% chance to be countered by Freezing Dust (remember that the first three all tend to ignore Defense while Rage gives you access to MP-less spell casting).

Tritoch’s only method of dealing damage, Ice 3, is only a minor annoyance in comparison. Still, between Fixed Dice and Atma Weapon, it only takes a few rounds to take Tritoch down.


TRITOCH: I sense war and destruction... Could that stupid war possibly have lasted a thousand years? I can tell you want to put a stop to the madness... Let’s see if you are worthy!
“Received the Magicite “Tritoch!””
And with that, the tip of the rock behind Tritoch collapses.


Well, we’ve only ever gained by recklessly leaping off of cliffs, waterfalls, opera house rafters, etc., no reason to stop now.

This place has some trapped floors that drop you down a level, and fairly simple random encounters (with a fetish for making the party into Imps), and mediocre loot... nothing we haven’t seen before until we get to this point:


These guys counter Magic with Holy, but otherwise just Attack and take a step forward on their turn; once they’re right in front of the party, they’ll Knife a character for high damage and return to the left side of the screen. Each one has 14001 HP and high evasion, so taking them out with just physicals takes a while, but as long as we keep them pushed back (they’ll retreat a step if hit twice).

When defeated the Pugs drop a Minerva, armor for Terra and Celes that boosts the four basic stats, boosts Max MP by a quarter, and provides immunity to Wind, Lightning, Fire, and Ice and resistance to the other elements; Minervas are also a rare steal from the Pugs, but we’ll have plenty of them for all two characters that can use them without worrying about that.


“Something...in that eye... ... Magicite?!”
“Received the Magicite “Terrato””
A little further in, we come across this strange totem.


Taking the Magicite from the totem summons Umaro from his lookout over Narshe. Fixed Dice + Offering gets an OHKO, but if I hadn’t been using that combo Umaro would have hit hard with physical attacks, countered Fire with an all-party Ice attack, and Jumped after being hit enough times by Magic. After losing half his HP (assuming he’s alive), Umaro uses a Green Cherry on himself to gain Haste, Protect, and Shell and starts using his Ice-element attacks more often.

After the battle, Umaro cowers in the corner of his cave. Approach him with Mog in your party, and...
Mog: I’m your boss, kupo! You’re gonna join us, kupo!!!


Umaro: Ooh...me Umaro... Yes, boss... Me join you!
Mog: Umaro! No slouching, now!
Umaro: Ooo...me wait for you in big airship!


Going up the steps Umaro came down drops us out the side of this cliff in the mines. (You can see Umaro stick his head out of here and run back in during the World of Balance if you want to wait around for it while walking below.)


“There’s only one Moogle still around, and only a treasure hunter could pick that lock...”
And Lone Wolf walks off. Of course, if I’d gone into Narshe via the front gate instead of the side cave, Lone Wolf would have caught me coming in rather than ambushing me on my way out for an obsolete “warning.”

Well, I think that’s all the old PCs back now, along with the two “secret” characters. Time to... wait. “Old PC”? ... >=I


Relm: You!! You old fool!!! You’re still standing?!
[STRAGO is so surprised he leaps off screen, falling back down on the stairs by RELM.]
Strago: Relm! Is that you, my dear? You’re alive!!
Relm: Idiot! Of course I’m all right!
Strago: Oh... I’m so happy...
Relm: Did you think I was gonna check out before you, old man?! Ah, ha, ha...
Strago: You’re as foul-mouthed as ever, bless your heart!
Relm: Come along now... We’re all glad to see you!
[STRAGO is so shocked someone’s happy to see him he falls off the stairs.]
Strago: Whoa! Well I’ll be... All right, make room for me!
Got the madman! I’ve been waiting to use that joke for seven months.

Anyway, now that I’ve had Relm and Strago in my party for their minute of World of Ruin fame, time for Cultists’ Tower chatter:
“The members of the “Cult of Kefka” live in this tower. There’s something wondrous atop it! ”
“You can only use magic attacks inside, so unless your magic’s strong, you’ll never make it to the top!”
“No use talking to them. They’ve sold their hearts to Kefka. All they do is mope around, thinking of him...
“For 100000 GP I’ll tell ya ‘bout a secret treasure! Hooey!!!! Right, here’s the scoop: Beneath the Desert of Figaro lies an ancient castle... ...loaded with treasure. By the way, an old man who lives in the Weapon Shop in Narshe is looking for you...”
“Treasure...treasure...”


Going up the tower (using the Moogle Charm, since no way am I fighting random encounters with just Magic), there’s four screens that are each made up of a lot of staircases and one door to a treasure room. In this first room is a chest with a Safety Bit, a Relic that makes the bearer immune to Instant Death. More important is the wall next to the chest, which has a switch that makes a door appear on the level below, where I pick up the Air Anchor.

The Air Anchor is the last of Edgar’s Tools, and kind of weird. It’s essentially an Instant Death attack, but the enemy gets one more action before being killed. Of course, as an Instant Death attack, it can’t be used on anything interesting, and a Doom that guarantees the enemy gets another action is of questionable use, but dammit, Tools!

Next level up has a Genji Shld.


In the third treasure room is our third dragon. You’ll notice my Narshe team does not have a whole lot of options for fighting on the Tower. Fortunately, the White Drgn’s Pearl spell is its entire offensive repertoire, and it’s not even guaranteed to use that each round. Terra’s Fire 2 does some damage, and a couple broken rods from each of the others adds up to one dead dragon. Five to go!

Unlike the other dragons, the White Drgn doesn’t give you its loot at the end of the battle but rather after the combat ends. This is because the White Drgn can be fought on the Veldt; if the Pearl Lance were just a simple monster drop you’d be able to grind for them. You know, if you’re nuts enough to grind on the Veldt.

The chest behind the White Drgn holds a Stunner, a strong dagger for Shadow that randomly inflicts Stop. The next treasure room holds a Force Armor, which resists Ice, Fire, Lightning, Earth, and Wind and has the second highest stats, next to the Genji Armor.

And that’s it.

There’s nothing else to the Cultists’ Tower.

Nothing.

Please don’t make me do this.

Alright, if I’m going to fight the boss of the Cultists’ Tower, I need some grinding first. It’s not pure numbers I need, but Celes is in her mid-30s and for my strategy I need a spell she learns at level 40.


The best place for leveling is the forest north of the Veldt, where you can fight the relatively painless Tyranosaur (ok, so they have Meteor and if you end up facing two of them it’ll always be a pincer attack no matter what you do; Fixed Dice and Illumina take care of them pretty easily) for 8800 XP divided by the number of members in your party. Celes has the Exp. Egg so it doesn’t take her too long to hit level 40 and learn Bserk.



Alright, so, MagiMaster. At any given time he is weak to one element, absorbs another, and is immune to the other six. Any time he’s attacked, he’ll shuffle those. His attacks are all blocked by Reflect, except for the Ultima he casts after losing all his HP. That Ultima is the only really dangerous part of this fight; unless you are at extremely high levels, it’s a guaranteed total party kill. Normally you avoid this with the spell Life 3, which brings you back to life if you die after it’s been cast. Not an option for this team, though.

No, this team will have to try and reduce the Magimaster to below 80 MP (from fifty thousand) before killing him so he won’t be able to cast Ultima. Woo.

This is why I wanted the Bserk spell. Terra has a Genji Glove, Soul Sabre, and Rune Edge. The Rune Edge consumes Terra’s MP to deal critical hits, but is weak and doesn’t do much damage; this is good. The Soul Sabre (which is in Terra’s left hand so it’s the second swing) will restore Terra’s MP by sucking out MagiMaster’s. The Berserk status makes up for the fact that Terra can’t use Fight in the Tower.

Now, here’s where I screwed up (for the first time) (in this attempt, anyway; don’t ask about the other two): I forgot Terra was wearing a Relic Ring. This Relic “makes the body cold” according to the description, which means the wearer is actually considered Undead. Instant Death will actually heal them, and... that’s about all the good things about it in this battle. I thought it would make poison damage heal her too, but I was wrong. This was all to protect her from Bio and Doom, since I couldn’t give her a Wall Ring (it would block Bserk).


That idea didn’t work. Bio still hurt, Magimaster never tried Doom on Terra, and instead he managed to wear her down despite her Minerva. Forgetting about the Relic Ring, I manage to kill Terra using Cure on her.

So I was stuck. Magimaster couldn’t hurt me behind my Wall Rings, and his Reflected spells will do more damage to him when they happen to hit his weakness than they’ll heal him when they happen to be what he absorbs. The solution?


Thank the Great Amano the Cultists’ Tower doesn’t manage to nix Mimic like all the other commands. Mog heals Magimaster with an X-Potion, Gogo starts Mimicking it for free heals, and I hit the high speed button.

For over an hour I played at 417% speed, doing nothing but occasionally having Gogo Mimic himself Mimicking Mog’s X-Potion. =I


I almost missed it! That sweet, sweet status message. Now that he’s out of MP, I can start hitting him.


And this is when I learn that elemental Shlds can be broken to cast third tier spells. This Fire 3 is the strongest spell I have right now, so I have Gogo start Mimicking; Magimaster can still use WallChange without MP, but as with his own Reflected spells, the times Flame Shld hits his weakness will do more damage than it’ll heal when he’s absorbing fire.

(Of course, if I'd known I'd end up beating this guy with Mimicked potions and spell items, I could have skipped grinding for Bserk in the first place. Oh well, c'est la vie....)

This took a while, and eventually I got impatient and messed up.

I scanned Magimaster to see how much HP he had left, screwing up Gogo’s wonderful Flame Shld Mimicking he had going on. Realizing how dumb this was to do (and being very tired of this fight) I panicked and cast Bserk on the Magimaster; this stopped his WallChanging, but also let him start attacking us instead of pointlessly trying to cast spells.

To recap: after what would be a 4+ hour battle if this wasn’t emulated, I zoned out near the end while I had a good thing going, took away the way I was damaging the boss, gave him a new way to damage me while I can’t use Cure spells on myself, and since he used WallChange after I scanned him I have no idea what his weakness is.


Oh thank Heaven. I have Ice and Fire spells available, and might have had some Rods left after the White Drgn that I could try on this guy, but if he’d been weak to Wind, Water, or Earth I would have been completely out of luck. Looking back on it now, I might have been able to have Gogo use Drain, then Mimic it whenever Magimaster happened to hit him in his berserker rage. If I’d thought of it then and it worked, it still would have taken a long, long time to kill the boss (though it would speed up after Magimaster eventually killed Mog and Celes).


I breathe a sigh of relief, collect my Megalixir from the gently smoldering corpse of the Magimaster, and get the hell off of the Cultists’ Tower.


For reference, this is my time at the base of the Tower before the fight, and my time afterward. Four hours and thirty-freaking-six minutes, all to get a Relic that lets someone cast two spells in one action.

Also to prove I can beat Magimaster without using Espers.

Alright, I need a good long rest after that, but first, one little thing now that we’ve got the whole party gathered:


We all remember this old gem by our own Deptford. “Coconut Locke and a Fish Setzer? Oh, how jolly!” we all said. “Ho ho,” we chortled, “Gau being the character with the most world-saving motivation? What an amusing thought!” The thing is... that’s exactly right.

It never occurred to me until this playthrough after reading this comic, but with Celes out of the picture Gau is the one character most likely to get the band back together, as Setzer put it. Let’s go down the list:

Sabin: We never really know what he was doing, I think; as far as we know he was aimlessly wandering the World of Ruin and just happened to be in Tzen when Celes arrived and the town was hit by the Light of Judgment.

Edgar: Trying to find his castle and his people and bring them back to the surface. Admirable, but relatively small in scope.

Setzer: Drinking.

Cyan: Being creepy up on Mt. Zozo. Saying “Hi” to Gau as he goes by on his way to the Veldt.


Gau: Fighting monsters on the Veldt and getting stronger with the express stated purpose of eventually challenging Kefka.

Shadow: Looking for the Striker.

Relm: Painting.

Terra: Angsting. Playing Mama to Mobliz because she’s the oldest there, even though she can’t fight anymore and Duane and Katarin are only two years younger.

Locke: Feeding his obsession over his girlfriend who's caught between life in death in some horrible netherspace. I may have made that last part up.

Mog: Killing time in the now-empty Moogle warren, maybe getting a beer with Umaro now and then.

Strago: Praying to Kefka.

Out of the eleven non-Celes characters who challenged Kefka and Gestahl on the Flying Continent, Gau is the only one whose stated purpose after the end of the world is to power up and fight the Big Bad. Pretty good for a fifteen-year-old raised by wolves. And mammoths. And violent rabbits. And... you get the idea.

Well, that's enough for this week. Now that the group's back together, next week we'll be wrapping up a few loose ends, and starting our assault on Kefka's Tower.

Many thanks once again to Deptford for allowing me to use his comics in this LP. I don't know if he just picked Gau because he thought it was funny or if he actually thought it through, but I was impressed with this insight once I noticed it.

That is pretty neat. Gau remains my favorite character.
Oops?

Fun Miscellany: "Pugs" is in Gau's Rage List, the 256th. However, due to the need for a list terminator, it cannot be accessed. He would get !Knife as the special move, which is an 8x power attack, twice as good as Stray Cat's !Catscratch, (x4) most often used for a certain exploity-combo.

I must have hit my head and forgotten that you were doing a natural magic run. For a moment in this update I had a "what the hell is he doing?" moment. So, uh, crazy respect for tackling that tower!

Part XXVII - A Recruitment of Fire and Ice

Last time the party's ranks swelled with the re-addition of Tina, Relm, and Gogo. The group also conquered the scourge of the skies, Death Gaze, by throwing rods at it 'til it stopped moving and solved the mystery of the haunted house in Jidoor along the way. Now they're off to get the last missing allies!



♪♪ The Dark World ♪♪

Narche
Enemies: Garm, Rugiviet, Trial Rider, Magnum Roaders (type 3), Magnum Roaders (type 4), Wizard, Psycho

The party's first stop is the former coal-mining town of Narche. For once we don't have to play talking time in a town!



Instead we have to fight random encounters. Ah well, win some lose some.



Only one Moglie is still here. All of the doors to the houses are locked, too. Only a treasure hunter could open them in that state."

Thanks for the tip. Funny how the entirety of Narche decided to lock up their houses before running for the hills...



♪♪ Mog's Theme ♪♪

Oh hey, I know you.

Mog "Everyone! I thought you were all dead, kupo! But you're alive, kupo! I'm glad, kupo! Kupo, let's fight together again, kupo!!"
*Mog jumps a circle around Tina, raises his arms, then jumps again*
Mog "Let's go team up with the sasquatch too, kupo! He's really reliable, kupo! Oh... But he is a bit violent... He has to be somewhere in the mines, kupo! Take me along so I can befriend him, kupo! Let's go look, kupo!"
*Mog jumps again, then jumps down in front of Tina*

Okay, that's one more down for our ranks.



Suddenly life is good.



So yeah, we'll just make our way straight through the caves where the Moglies used to live, nabbing ultra-rare treasures along the way that used to be common schlock. The others are an Elixir and a Defense Bangle.



Mog is basically never taking this thing off ever again.



That guy is just asking for a beatdown, wandering the snowfields like that...



♪♪ Decisive Battle ♪♪

This shouldn't take long.



Definitely not long. That was just Fira's damage.



I am suitably unimpressed.

That's seriously the best this guy can do?



Pathetic, mate.

♪♪ Victory ♪♪



Nice win!



Time to double up our kill-it-with-fire quotient!



Yeah, this fight is short and boring.



Score one for Team Awesome.



Do you seek to make me one...? I suppose I have no choice. Why must this world be filled with such bloodlust? Has the Great War of Magic continued for 1,000 years, then...? Ah, I see... So you're fighting back... ... ... ... ? I shall just have to help put an end to this, then... Now, I shall test your resolve..."



Sweet deal! Let's see what we've got!

Valigarmander

Yes, there are three links in that name. This demon/hellhound/fire lizard combo is just as much a mash-up of elemental skills as he/she/it is a mash-up of mythological creatures. Square later took this summon up to 11 in FF7 and made Kujata into his quadra-elemental successor.



Tri Disaster causes fire, ice, and lightning damage all at once. Since few enemies are weak against all three elements, let alone not strong against at least one, it's useless. Quadra Disaster in FF7 is marginally
more usful, but not by a lot.

Spells Taught
Figa x1
Blizzaga x1
Thundaga x1

Level-Up Bonus: Magic +2

As the only source of Blizzaga and Thundaga, Valigarmander is a perfectionist's nightmare. Non-perfectionists just ignore him in favor of better non-elemental spells from other summons.



Oh snap, cliff break!



Hell yes. Danger is our trade!



♪♪ Umaro's Theme ♪♪

Aha, a new cave! Time to explore.

Sasquatch Cave
Enemies: Nortia, Illuyankas, Tonberry, Anenome, Onion Dash, Tsenahale

Gotta watch your step around here! Dark spots are secretly pits.



Fun Fact: This is one of the only Gauntlets in the entire game!



This will be (un-)fun.



Yep, it's the Tonberries. They hate magic. So don't use magic. Except that their evasion is ridiculous so you have to use magic... or special skills. End of story.



The funny thing about physical-attack-only enemies? They don't accomplish much when you're Vanished.



So yeah, I beat 'em. And they STILL didn't drop any Minerva Bustier. Fuckers.



The game pretty much railroads you here.



"There's something in the eye socket... ... Magirock?"
*The screen flashes blue and there is a high-pitched whine of magic*
Take the Magirock out of the bone sculpture's eye? > Yes / No

Woo, more summonables!



Nice. Let's have a look at that, then.



Er, after we're done with this big lunk.



♪♪ Decisive Battle ♪♪

So yeah, turns out the Yeti is primarily a physical attacker boss too. Oops.



Defense up / Magic defense up / Agility up / Recovery rate up

This sounds all impressive, but...

...He's still a physical attack boss.



Oh yeah, he does have one magic attack. Poor Mog...



The Yeti proves no match for a Vanished party!

♪♪ Victory ♪♪



Woot, new party member!



Our last genuinely new ally! Let's get his vital stats (and Gogo's too, since we didn't see those before).

You can see why I didn't bother listing Gogo's before, I'm sure. Also, Umaro has some interesting parallels to Relm: they share the same birthday and dislike. Clearly a match made in heaven, those two.



Mog "Umaro! Let's do our best, kupo!!"



That wraps up that. Now we can finally check out Midgardsormr.

Midgardsormr

Also called Jormungandr, this Norse mythology devilspawn is, along with Fenrir, not exactly the nicest creature from that legend. He kinda eats the world tree. The whole damn thing. And yes, this is what the "Midgar Zolom" in FF7 was supposed to be called (and yes again, it was supposed to be Midgard, not Midgar). Squaresoft, mess up mythological references? Never! Oh, and he's clasically an Ouroboros as well.



Earth Surround is appropriately named in that regard, but is otherwise an unimpressive earth-elemental attack.

Spells Taught
Quake x3
Graviga x1
Tornado x1

Level-Up Bonus: HP +30%

Another perfectionist's nightmare. Most will just ignore Midgardsormr since his spells aren't that great in practice.



♪♪ Fanatics' Tower ♪♪

Now it's time to get back Strago and godDAMN you are foul-mouthed, Relm!



Strago is offended too.



What tipped you off, old man?

♪♪ Relm's Theme ♪♪

*Relm looks about, gets mad, then faces grandpa again*
Relm "Stupid grandpa. Relm is just fine."
Strago "Oh...... I'm so happy......"
Relm "Relm's not going to die before you, grandpa!! Dumbass! Haha!"
*Strago is shocked and Relm just laughs*
Strago "You're as fork-tongued as ever, I see. ......And I wouldn't want it any other way."
Relm "Well, come on now. Everybody is waiting!"
*Relm raises her arms and Stragos nods*
*Strago hops about and gets in front of the party*
Strago "Whoa! I feel more energetic than ever! Alright, let's go do our best!!!"

Alright, that just leaves Lock! Off to the mysterious point where the mountains form a star!



That'd be it, methinks.

Time to form our teams. On Team Awesome will be Tina, Edgar, Celes, and Gogo. On Team Lame will be Mog, Matias, Gau, and Strago. Guess which party won't be fighting any battles.



Always good advice. Alright, teams, let's do teamwork!



♪♪ Eidolons' World ♪♪

Phoenix Cave
Enemies: Phase, Necromancer, Charybdis, Zeveak, Chaos Dragon, Ouroboros, Sea Flower

Go team go!



Oops.



Ow, right on the Moglie posterior!



Stupid switches... This'd better be worth it!



Okay, it was worth it.



I'm helping!



Team Awesome opens the way for Team Lame across the spikes!



Team Lame returns the favor!



And appropriately enough, the way they opened is to something lame!



Team Awesome opens the way for Team Lame again!



Which Team Lame makes use of, naturally!



Damn it, this had better be worth it...

...



Anyway, Team Lame opens the way for Team Awesome yet again.



This gets hard to make interesting after a while, so let's just skip to the interesting bits.



♪♪ Decisive Battle ♪♪

This guy is going to wish he'd never been born soon.



He's gonna be shamed with ice to the face.



Half my party is immune to fire, and one takes half fire damage.



You're toast, Red Dragon.



That was so easy.

♪♪ Victory ♪♪



Sweet.



The power of teamwork triumphs!



Hey, it's our last missing party member! ...How the hell did he get this far without anyone to help him?

*Lock is shocked!*
*Lock turns and walks a step down towards the others*
Lock "Everyone!! Look... I've found it. The legendary treasure that can awaken lost souls..."



Well I'll be damned, it is.

Lock "It seems so... According to legends, the Phoenix turned itself to stone long ago. I guess it's true, too... But then... If it really is contained within... It appears to be badly cracked, though, and its powers might be gone by now."
*Lock puts the rock away*
Celes "Lock... Are you going to use that on Rachel...?"
*Lock looks down*
Lock "I tried to protect Rachel... But I can't deny the truth of what's happened... If I don't try this, I will never be able to live with myself..."
"Will you come with us? Only as far as Corlingen..."
*Lock nods*



It's a lot darker than I remember it.

Wow, what a dick.



The stone comes to life!



The Phoenix...!



It shattered!

Old Coot "Uwaaah! The Magirock, it, it... It exploded!"

I just said that, old man.



Oh snap, it worked.

*Lock faces Rachel*
Lock "Rachel!!"



♪♪ Forever Rachel ♪♪

Lock "Rachel..."
Rachel "The Phoenix has granted me the last of its remaining power... But, I have to go soon... So... I want to say something that I meant to tell you long ago..."
*Lock blinks*
Lock "......"
Rachel "Lock... ... I was fortunate to be with you... When I was dying, I remembered you, and all you had meant to me... I clung to that feeling. And so... I wanted to say just one last thing to you... Lock... Thank you."
*Rachel closes her eyes as the Phoenix fades*
*Lock runs around to the other side of the bed*
Lock "Rachel!!"
Rachel "It's time for me to go now... The happiness that you gave me... I am forever grateful... Please, free your heart from the imprisonment that you have kept it under, and be happy once more. I loved you, with all my heart. ...... Phoenix!... Give your power of revival to Lock!"
*Rachel floats out of bed and Lock and the old coot walk closer to her*
Lock "Rachel!!"
*Rachel fades into sparkles, and...*



PHoenix rises again!



*Lock looks up*
Lock "I'm alright. Rachel brought the light back to my heart... And now... Everything will be okey. Let's go. We have to give it our best shot!!"



♪♪ Lock's Theme ♪♪

*Lock raises his arm and goes back into the house*
*Celes turns around, confused*
*Lock comes back out and hands her some stuff*
"X-Potion"!
"Phoenix Down"!
"Super Ether"!"Elixir"!
"Flame Shield"!
"Valiant Knife"!
*Lock winks*
Lock "The treasures of the Phoenix Cave!"
*Lock raises his finger*
Lock "Okay, let's go! We'll defeat Kefka, and return light to the world!!!"

Looks like we've got everyone together. Now, let's finish up something we neglected before, shall we?



♪♪ Setzer's Theme ♪♪

First, party chatting!

Tina "General Leo...... I... I think I finally understand what you were trying to tell me."
Shadow "......"
Matias "All riiiiight!"
Celes "At one point I had given up all hope, but not any more... The future looks bright..."
Lock "As long as there are those in this world that need protecting, I'll fight."
Setzer "Good fortune is on our side!"
Strago "Everyone, don't lose that sparkle in your eyes. This old man isn't going to, either, he isn't."
Gogo "......"
Umaro "Oooh..."
Gau "Gau get stronger on Veldt."
Cayene "This is an amazing machine, sirs."



♪♪ Unknown ♪♪

Next, reunion!

Matias "Er, I..."
Old Man "Quickly, use that chair there. You can use it to reach the roof and fix it."

This guy's still bat-squeak insane, I see.



Oh probably.

Gau "Ooo......"
Matias "Yes, Gau. It's true, isn't it?"
Gau "Father......?"
Matias "I'm sure of it. This is definitely your father."
Gau "...??? ...Gau's......father...!? Gau~!"
Matias "Right! Let's go tell that old man!! He needs to know that Gau is really his son!!"
*Matias faces up*
Matias "Wait a minute...... This meeting between parent and child is special... Maybe we should dress you up for the occasion."
Matias "Right. We'll take Gau to Jidoor and give him a whole new look!!"

A Gau Makeover? Oh dear.



♪♪ Johnny C. Bad ♪♪

*Gau nods*
Gau "Gau..."
Matias "Will you please say "okay" instead of "gau"!?"
Gau "Okau!"
*Matias just hangs his head*
Matias "......"

To date, I think this is the only translation where that joke actually got translated...

"G'heh, he can't wear all that..."
Tina "What did you say!?"*Matias freaks out*
"No, no, it's nothing... ......Honestly!"
*Matias looks over his shoulder*
Celes "What about this one? Ah! This suit looks good too, but... I don't think it quite suits Gau..."
"Hmm, I don't know..."
*Matias freaks out again and crouches down*
Celes "What!?"
"Nothing, I didn't say anything..."Cayene "This is quite a ridiculous hat, sirs."
"That is SO tacky!"
*Matias faces Cayene and nods, and Cayene freaks out*
Cayene "W, what!? Where did the hat go, sirs!?"
*Cayene crosses his arms*
"..."
*Cayene ducks under the counter*

This is pretty wacky, all right.



"That's a martial arts dougi..."
Matias "Yeah, they're sporty and easy to move in. This is definitely the best."
"I don't know......"
*Setzer nods*
Setzer "Psh... You're all totally lacking in fashion sense..."
Setzer "Say, old man. Bring out something like what I'm wearing!"
"Are you crazy!? Gau would look absolutely ridiculous dressed like Setzer, you know!?"

Hijinks and hilarity! Incidentally, there's a few other bits of dialogue for that scene if you have certain characters and lack others. To wit:

Edgar "How about this! Just put him in a nice tuxedo and a silk hat... And a rose in his mouth..."
Lock "Heeeey!! I've got an idea... Let's give him a bandanna like mine..."
Edgar "I don't see what's so great about bandannas... They look ridiculous on everybody, Lock included..."
Lock "What was that!? Watch your tongue!"

Comedy goldmine. Alright, onwards to the meeting!



Gau "Okau..."

Nice tux, Gau. Anyway, in they go.



♪♪ Gau's Theme ♪♪

Old Man "Who are you...? Oh! The repairman!?"
Matias "Sir... You had a sone once, right...? Well, am I right......!?"
Old Man "......Son?"
Matias "Right. Well, he's actually still alive, sir. Gua! Come here!"
*Matias nods to Gau*
Gau "F...ather......"
*The old man looks around*
Old Man "What is this, what is this? Since when did I have... A son? I never had a son!!"
*The old man faces away and the screen darkens*
Old Man "But now that you mention it, I had a nightmare a long time ago. ......In that dream, a demon child was born!! I beat the child, and left it to its fate on the Beast Plains... That demon child...... ......When I arrived on the Beast Plains, the child was bawling......"
Matias "Please!! Sir......"
*Matias looks down*
Old Man "I left that child there on the Beast Plains...... And I left and didn't give a second glance......"
Matias "B, but..."
*Matias looks down again and turns away*
Old Man "Then the crying suddenly stopped... I looked back at that point... And... There was a ghost there that wasn't there before...... Oh, I was so scared...... Even now, I still shiver when remembering it..."
Matias "This is hopeless... This old man's lost it..."
*The old man turns off to the right*
Old Man "But you, young man, your parents must be very proud of you. You're nothing like that demon child in my dream. So frightful, so frightful......"
*Matias freaks out and faces the old man*
Matias "You old fool! I can't believe what I'm hearing...... You should consider Gau's feelings! How about I beat some sense into you!?"
*Gau walks in front of Matias and shakes his head*
Gau "Gau......oo......"
*Gau leaves and the others follow*

Clumsily translated, but the gist of it is that the old man went insane when Gau was born. We knew that already, of course.



*Tina and Lock look at each other*
Gau "Fa...ther...... Al...ive...... Gau...... H... a... pp... y......"

And scene. Okay, we'll stop here for this time, but next time we'll be tackling the Fanatics' Tower and the buried castle like Lucas already had so we'll be all caught up. And, and before we go for this update, let's get one good look at that new summon from before...

Phoenix

It's the firebird of rebirth! Phoenix has been a series staple since FF5, and has shown up pretty consistently since then on up to FFX. He even has a fire-elemental attack tied to him from FF7 onwards!



But in FF5 and 6, his Flames of Rebirth is far less useful. It just revives all fallen allies at 25% of their max HP. Sadly no Reraise status, but it's still damn handy in a pinch.

Spells Taught
Raise x10
Araise x2
Reraise x1
Curega x2
Figa x3

Level-Up Bonus: None

Oh man. Phoenix is the healer's dream come true. He's a great summon to keep handy as it is, and the best source of Figa, but look at that ressurection magic! And the best way to learn Curega! Phoenix is where it's at, folks.

And with that, I bid you all farewell until next Friday.

Thanks for the catch. This is why you proofread, fellow LPers! Someone reads my half of the updates! I'm getting such warm and fuzzies for being called out on a typo.

As I understand it, you can still get the Pug Rage and have it show up in Gau's skill list, but it won't show up as a command in battle since it's essentially past the end of the list.

You know, I never did talk about Wind God Gau, and we're now past the point in the game where it can be done. Well, except that I don't have a Merit Award yet, but I'm not really planning on getting one anyway....

So, you all know how I've said Gau is probably the most powerful character in the party if you know how to use him? The apotheosis of this is an exploit called Wind God Gau, which uses the Merit Award (a Relic that lets a character equip anything they want, with a few exceptions), Offering, Cyan's Tempest knife, and the Stray Cat Rage.

Tempest has a chance to use Wind Slash when you Fight with it. Offering has you attack four times when you Fight. The Stray Cat Rage's special, Catscratch, is "just" the Fight command with a x4 multiplier added to the damage. Everyone can probably see where this is going.

While this combo isn't really a bug, in all non-SNES versions of the game Gau is prohibited from using the Merit Award just to stop him from using this combo. Then in the Anthologies release people realized that Gogo could Rage too, even if his stats were a little lower than Gau's, and they took away his ability to use the Merit Award in the Advance release.

Thanks! It was a pain and a half, lemme tell ya. Don't feel bad about forgetting I'm doing a natural magic run, though, since this is the first time it's been explicitly stated. I've just been dropping hints about it since the eleventh update to see how long it would take someone in the audience to notice it. Didn't really expect it to take four months, admittedly....

Of course I knew at said update since I consulted with Lucas at the time about how we'd be handling explaining the Eidolons/Espers. That's why the usually mechanics-driven Lucas LP has been ignoring them while I've been going into full detail about how they work.

Does it increase all your skills to Legendary?

More or less. Morul's Charm makes Mog so intimidating that enemies won't approach him, after all.

That's a good question. What did happen to the hat?

What is a "natural magic run"?

No learning spells from equipment or Magicite: only Terra and Celes get to use "Magic", and then only what they learn "naturally" by levelling up.

Pretend FFVI didn't have Espers.