Blame yourself or God! Let's Play Final Fantasy Tactics!

Savory the two-legged bacon!

Love the LP by the way. I mostly lurk.

Clearly, you put the for of them onto a map, and the last one standing is the winner... once the last NPC's at 'run like a rabbit' AI they go at each other.

The right vote is CLEARLY Behemoth.

ZOIDBERG needs some love here, guys.

VOTE ZOIDBERG '10

Savory the Bacon and Dryad_from_SoM the Dryad! Geddit? Because Dryad is an elemental in Secret of Mana.

Theorem 1: Behemoth eats Zoidberg eats (brains of) Dryad eats (baconized) Uribo.

Proof:


Q.E.D.

Wait, we have two votes? Behemoth and ZOIDBERG if so, just Behemoth otherwise.

Let's go Behemoth, muthafuckas.

If it's gonna come down to a fanart battle... well, damn this blasted firewall.

Behemoth and Zoiberg

Name the hydra "Mom"

I decided not to go the mudslinging route with the Horrifying Fanart thread.



Hey, remember Dryad? She was so... something.

And that's why we should use a dryad.

Edit: Oh yeah, she can crisp the enemy with ultraviolet rays. Sunburns hurt!

So, what you're saying is we obviously have to go with the Behemoth (because it eats everything) and the Uribo (because the internet loves bacon). I could go with that.

Bethla Garrison

(Scene: Ramza has laid low since the slaying of Draclau,
the stone the Count left behind still remains with him, but
the bigger question of what role, if any, these stones are
playing in the current political climate thus remains a
mystery.

Meanwhile, the Lion War has now raged for a year, with
both sides suffering under the battle for the throne.
Several of Prince Goltana's aides sit down to report the
war's current status.)

(Dycedarg's Theme)

Bolmna: Well over 200,000 injured just in our troops alone.

Elmdor: Casualties aren't the only problem. Food stock is
short as we expected. The real problem's the drought.



Blansh: I hear crops were ruined before harvest, due to
rain.

Orlandu: More serious are those made destitute by the
war.



Orlandu: This is no laughing matter! The same could
happen here. Many refugees may come here! Should we
start peace talks?







Orlandu: It's not too late for a peace settlement.



Orlandu: Farmers suffered the most in the War! Raising
taxes would hurt them even more. The soldiers are also
suffering from lack of food. It's impossible to continue
physically and mentally.



Goltana: Are you saying there's no 'right' in this battle?
Since when did you start talking about 'hypocrisy'? You
can't go eacy on them. It's for the people!



Blansh: He's right. Just a little longer before it's over!



Orlandu: A little longer? Where'd you get that idea? How
can you be optimistic? Are you blind?

Blansh: Your words are harsh!!

Goltana: Enough!


yeah I'm sure you can take Orlandu



Goltana: I won't say this again. If any more of you
disagree with my plans, go now! Understand? Orlandu!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Goland Coal City

(Scene: A lone man dashes across a rooftop. His name is
Olan, son of Orlandu, and in his investigations he's
accidentally stirred up some trouble...)

(Antidote)

(Olan looks around for a potential escape route, to no
avail.)









(A man dressed in Mediator, who may or may not be
Spider-Man, climb's up the wall.)



Thief: Hya, ha! Damn blabbermouth. Now, give yourself up.

(The sound of Ramza's crew entering the scene draws the
attention of the thieves.)

Okay, before I can't say anything else without showing you guys this:







For those who didn't get what just happened, Olan looked that Mediator in the eye, and read some words in a book to
him. Those words CRITICALLY HIT the Mediator (taking 80 damage), who was so stunned by what he just heard he fell
backwards, landing with a thud on the ground (for 64 more damage), the fall killing him.

Look, I'm not going to lie. I was going to totally stroll in here and be all like "Oh Olan, he's kind of mediocre really. I
don't understand why everyone is completely in love with him (well I do understand, but that's beside the point)."

And then he goes and does one of the coolest things I've ever seen happen in this game.



This (now quite dead) Mediator has a pair of Germinas Boots on him, which effectively replace any people who you still
have using Battle Boots. There are still other accessories at this point (such as Wizard Mantles) that you might want to
use, but for classes that like to get in close, +1 to Move is powerful. +1 to Jump is gravy.

As for Olan, he's got pretty good stats for a guy who spends a lot of time with books. His equipment is pretty far ahead
of anything you could get at this point (Earth Clothes won't show up until chapter 4!) but sadly you can't steal from
allies, which includes guests like Olan. The Sprint Shoes add a point to Speed, which is handy for Calculators but not
much else.



Your opposition today is a handful of Thieves and Chemists, with a worthless Mediator (who usually isn't killed so
quickly). Their isn't much to this fight, as none of the enemies can dish out any serious damage on their own,
particularly with Olan around (more on him later).

Their are two challenges you could potentially face on this fight. The first is the thieves, who are all female, will be
charming the pants off your male units. I've never seen them try to charm Olan (which would be very very bad if they
did), but you're bound to see this ability used at least once on your own units. Bringing mostly female units is an
effective counter, but having a few weak attacks to break Charm is a good alternative.

The second challenge is simply the terrain of the stage, which prevents easy access to the roof where Olan resides.
Depending on how Olan reacts, it's possible (although unlikely) that he takes a lot of damage over time, but distances
himself from your healers in an attempt to chase after an enemy unit. Such a thing happening is rather unlikely (Olan
rarely will dip below half health before you gain control of the battle) but just remember that Olan's survival is the point
of the mission; you fail if he drops to 0 HP!

Of course, Golem makes things pretty simple too.



The Thieves are your prime targets, since the Chemists are usually always useless in the fight. The game tries to give
you a break here by making the Chemists Libras, which have bad compatibility with Olan (who is a Cancer; thanks to
ARobinson's "Zodaic Compatibility Guide" for that info!). Of course, the Chemists do pitiful damage anyway. They'll
spend most of the fight shooting your units with guns or cowering in the corner. I don't think I've ever seen them use a
Phoenix Down...

I guess I should mention the Mediator, even if he's dead. Enemy Mediators will never do something dastardly like
"Invite" one of your units (that would be a erk thing to do after all) but they can hit you with Brave and Faith reducing
effects, which suck (but can be dealt with). The Mediator and Olan usually end up duking it out on top of the roof, and
the Chemists are unlikely to be able to lob a potion up there anyway, so let Olan handle him.




Of course, the REAL reason this fight is cake is Olan. I don't want to spoil anything, but Olan takes after his dad in the
'kicking a lot of ass' department. Aside from his uncanny reading ability, Olan has a unique ability called Galaxy Stop. It
targets the entire battlefield, and has a 50% chance of inflicting Don't Act, Don't Move, and Stop to each enemy,
ignoring Zodiac Compatibility. It apparently won't hit units who share the same zodiac sign as the user (i.e. Cancer) but
I can't/too lazy confirm that.

What I will confirm is that this is the only battle you'll see it in action, so enjoy it. Don't rely on Olan taking out most of
the enemy team however! I'm not sure what causes the computer to use Galaxy Stop, but sometimes he'll use it a lot,
and sometimes he'll spend most of the battle promoting literacy. I once saw him spend an entire battle reading to his
enemies, only using his prime ability once.



An aside about this stage: I first read about (and immediately wanted) FFT in some gaming magazine I can't even
remember the name of, and they used a screenshot from this battle (the "Next time put a sign outside saying "Thieves'
hideout" one). It was one of only a few they had, but there's something charming about the screenshot, set apart from
any context.

Of course, I couldn't really tell how stupid Olan's haircut was from a tiny screen in a magazine, but I digress. The
screenshot sent my imagination in countless directions.

I ended up purchasing the game about a few months after it came out, and pretty much stumbled through the game. I
had no concept of how job classes were unlocked (I assumed at one point, that you had to actually fight an enemy
class in battle before you could use it) over-leveled Ramza, and missed Deep Dungeon entirely. But I'm not sure if i can
explain how excited I was to finally "see" that screenshot, and to finally be able to put it into the game's narrative.

And then Olan used Galaxy Stop for the first and only time in the battle... and it missed everyone but a single Thief.

I bore a grudge against Olan for ruining the moment for years. It was only while doing this LP that I have finally made
piece with Olan as being a pretty good dude. Knocking people off houses and stuff is a very difficult thing to do in this
game, and to do it with a Dictionary and kill the guy too is pretty bad-ass. So hats off to you, gentle reader. You have
made this all possible, for me to love Olan.

Enough sentimental talk! What are the odds that our next class is about to be shown off? Pretty good I think!

Calculator

Calculators are certainly the most broken class in the game. Well, that's not entirely true; the class itself is kind of
horrible to be in! Calculators take a 50% speed penalty, making them slow as molasses. Getting JP for them is a tedious
process without the aid of someone like Ramza to cheer them up (or a Haste spell). Their Math Skill ability however, is
ridiculous.

Here's the gist for new players: The Math Skill allows you to use a number of variables to calculate who gets hit by an
effect. These effects are drawn from a large list of White, Black, Ying Yang, and Time Magic spells. They're cast at the
user's MA value with no charge time, no MP consumed, and with no maximum range. If a unit meets the calculation's
criteria, then they'll get hit even if they're on the complete opposite end of the map. Essentially, most of the rules that
govern magic for Priests, Time Mages, etc are completely subverted by the Calculator's ability.

It's not even like breaking Math Skill takes work! All you need to do is teach a spell like Holy and enough Math Skills,
and with enough persistance you can usually find SOMEONE on the enemy side who will be eating dirt. But Calculators
themselves are slow, and their MA multiplier isn't that great. So you put it as a secondary skill on a class like a Priest
(+10% base Speed) or Wizard (for the highest MA). At once you've both solved the Speed problem and ensured that
your Holy spell is going to be absolutely devastating (as opposed to "moderately devastating").



Prerequisite: Lv. 4 Priest, Lv. 4 Wizard, Lv. 3 Oracle, Lv. 3 Time Mage
Weapons: Stick, Dictionary
Helmet: Hat
Armor: Clothes, Robe

Move: 3
Jump: 3
Physical Evasion Rate: 5%

Class Skill: Math Skill
CT: Math skill to calculate CT.
JP Cost: 250
(Math Skills are divided into two groups, which I'll call "conditions" and "numbers." Conditions are what you choose
first, to signify what aspect of the battlefield you want to check. "CT" is very good if you want to hit the entire
battlefield with magic, since Speed values tend to be pretty equal across the board.)

Level: Math skill to calculate level.
JP Cost: 350
(Condition. Everyone remembers the "Blue" magic spells of lore. Now you can bring them back, involving more
powerful spells! enemy units tend to hover around your level, but this spell is often better in story battles where levels
tend to be fixed.)

Exp: Math skill to calculate Exp.
JP Cost: 200
(Condition. "Exp" is great when most other calculations fail. You can usually find a lone unit to Flare, or ally to Haste.)

Height: Math skill to calculate height.
JP cost: 250
(Condition. This skill is somewhat difficult to use on maps where the terrain is all over the place. On relatively flat
maps, this skill can allow you to carpet bomb certain areas with magic.)

Prime Number: Math skill that guides selected item in prime number.
JP Cost: 300
(Number. Like Exp, this skill is great for picking out single targets. Remember that a Prime Number is one that is only
divisible by one and itself!)

5: Math skill that guides items in multiples of 5.
JP Cost: 200
(Number. Great for using with CT, less so with other variables. Calculator tip: watch when particular units gain a level,
and catch them with 0 Exp, perfect for hitting them with 3, 4 or 5!)

4: Math skill that guides items in multiples of 4.
JP Cost: 400
(Number. also works well with CT, and sometimes Exp. It catches most of the stuff 5 would, but get 5 first since it's
the cheapest and you want a condition and number ASAP.)

3: Math skill that guides items in multiples of 3.
JP Cost: 600
(Number. Has the biggest chance of hitting something randomly of all the numbers in the game, but who cares? You
want em all anyway.)

Reaction Abilities:
Distribute: When HP is maxed, excess HP is shared with party (Trigger: HP restore).
JP Cost: 200
(Hopefully we've learned by now to spot a horrible reaction ability from a good one, yes?)

Damage Split: Shift damage received from yourself to your enemy.
JP Cost: 300
(Factoid time! I was challenged, unsuccessfully, at the start of the thread to beat the game using only Ramza, and
using only Calculator skills. This is actually ridiculously hard, because such a challenge prevents you from learning any
spells to go WITH the awesome Math Skill. Instead all you get is a class with a -50% speed penalty... and this skill as
your major source of dealing damage to the enemy. Yeah, good luck.)

Support Ability:
Gained Exp UP: Spirit is heightened. Gain more Exp. from the same experiences.
JP Cost: 350
(this is worthless in battle, but actually kind of useful if you're trying to level someone quickly. It doubles all experience
gains. Then again, Calculators don't really need experience.)

Move Abilities:
Move-Get Exp: Gain Exp. as you move.
JP Cost: 400
(The maximum amount of exp you can get from an action is 99, and any experience above what takes you to your
level is wasted. This skill technically allows a character gaining such experience to then move a square and gain your
level, which is useful if you're trying to really power level your characters. 1 Exp per step moved.)

Move-Get JP: Gain JP as you move.
JP Cost: 360
(2 JP per step moved. This is best on a Ninja. Of course, I prefer to have characters I'm trying to gain JP with quickly
simply not move, so their action comes up against quicker. Of course, JP isn't hard to get, just tedious, and this skill
doesn't really relieve you of that tedium any...)



That's the end of the class introductions! Sure, there's technically "Mime" left, but I think there's a better place to
bring him/her/it up. I'm not done talking about the classes however; we'll be revisting most of them to talk about
strategy and setups with them!

A note about future updates: my schedule has become a lot busier, but I'm really going to try and make more time for
this LP. I'm really close to passing Captain Captialism's spot of this LP, which would be sort of a personal triumph.

An abrupt ending, but it'll have to do. Join me next time as we delve back into the Wizard class! See you next time!

Bonus Money: 12,000 Gil
War Trophies: 1,500 Gil, Battle Dictionary

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Zalbag, the Holy)

Olan: My name is Olan Durai. What's yours?







Olan: Where are you going anyway?











* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To be continued...

For the record, when I played through this battle, Olan did EXACTLY the same thing and killed the mediator via fall damage. I spent the rest of the game trying to cause massive fall damage on my foes, when I pulled it off, it was awesome.

this thread seems a good place to say i just clocked 99 hours and am well on my way towards a party of dark knight/calculators.

also, this thread has taught me the wonders of parry with defender and super eschuton, and featherweave cloaks and reflexes. i love this game SO MUCH.

also, i love the random scenarios that happen in random battles. I just ran into one where a knight was facing off with a minotaur one on one in the desert. i've never seen that before!

I saw that one once. I really wish the had more stuff like that in there.

Yeah that's the rare battle in Zeklaus Desert. You can only trigger it (I believe) by approaching it via Dorter Trade City. I think everyone encounters one or two as they play the game (the Barius Hill Monk fight is pretty infamous), but they're hard to find because you need to approach the battlefield from a particular direction. I'll probably make a post detailing them, but the Lenalia Plateau rare battle is pretty interesting too: you fight an entire enemy party made up of calculators!

- Eddie

You got bludgeo'd for hammer, boss.

Finally, a battle where Malak and Worker 8 can truly shine.

So if i have the super shield, is it better to have parry or _____ as my reaction ability? i dont really get how s-ev works.

Parry is the knight reaction ability? Abandon (the ninja reaction) with the super Escutcheon would give you perfect evasion from the front and sides. Shields and weapons can't guard your back through.

you know what would be awesome? if there was a post with links to all the character detailed writeups Eddie did.

and wouldn't you know it? It's the first damned post in the thread =)
Thanks, eddie~!

I do it all for you man.

- Eddie

dude, i'm at 100 hours in a game i put down two falls ago, and i'm playing the game with classes i never use and strategies i normally ignore, and it's all cause of this LP.

Thank you, eddie, for reminding me that Tactics is probably second on my list of favorite games of all time.

Now, more than ever, I want to look up a way to play WotL online with you, shivam, so we can finally take down Teioh, and the four (or was it five?) round battle with the Templar Knights.

They shall stand against us no more!

You can do this over the internet with a wi-fi router if you don't mind loading custom firmware (i.e. if you're more of a crazy techy than I am).