A Brief History of Time (Ocarina of Time)

YEAH. Spineshark wasn't talking about that.

Yeah!

Plus if you get ten of them, you can at least carry some more rupees and who doesn't want that?

Episode 5: Anywhere But Forward

Per Impa’s suggestion, Blondie decides to head to the only other town in Hyrule: Kakariko Village.



Kakariko serves primarily as a *spoilers goes here*. But for now, it’s just a secondary town area with some sidequests and Cuccos in it. In case you couldn’t tell by the episode’s title, we will not be moving the story forward much at all this update. That isn’t to say that we won’t be moving it forward…just that we won’t be moving it forward much. We’ve got a lot of sidequests to do and doohickeys to find, so let’s get started.

Not to be Confused With This Chicken Lady



Speaking of sidequests and Cuccos, let’s start off by helping this poor lady. This is Anju. She technically isn’t given the name Anju until OoT’s sequel (more of a sidestory really) Majora’s Mask. At the time of OoT’s release, most people referred to her as The Cucco Lady. Anju plays a large role in the most daunting sidequest to ever grace a Zelda game in Majora’s Mask, but no such luck in OoT. In OoT, Anju’s role is to stand around and cry. During the game’s ending it is revealed that she some how has the power to make Cuccos float because hey, why not?

It seems that all of Anju’s Cuccos have flown away. Apparently she’s allergic to Cuccos and wants us to find them for her. I for one think she's just lazy.







See that hole on top of Anju’s Cucco pen? There’s a Piece of Heart in there. We won’t be able to get there until later, however. And just what is a Piece of Heart, you ask? Well, you’ll find out soon enough. Also, you don’t play Zelda games much, do you?





This is the first of the game’s four bottles. Bottles are useful for…uh, well…bottling things. You can put water, milk, potions…even a ghost will fit in this thing (it’s holy glass)! The individual use of each bottled item varies and will get covered when it’s relevant.

Let’s Take a Tour of Kakariko Village!

Now that our first chore is done, let’s take a look around Kakariko. There’s not much to do here yet, but later in our travels, Kakariko will have a lot more to see and do.



This here is the House of Skulltula. You know those Gold Skulltulas we keep killing? For every 10 tokens we collect, a member of this household stops being a half-spider person and goes back to being a regular person doing jumping jacks. Out of gratitude, they will give Blondie all sorts of rewards. There are 100 Gold Skulltulas in the game, but it’s really only necessary to get 50. Getting 51-100 only nets you one reward: rupees. If you’re at the point in the game where you’ve killed all 100 Skulltulas, you won’t need money anyway. The first, third, and fifth rewards are absolutely crucial though.



This is the boss of the Carpenters who are working on building a new building in Kakariko. He's upset because all of his workers just run around Kakariko doing nothing in particular all day. Either he's a terrible boss, or the carpenters have a great union.

The boss also mentions that he has a son who’s also a lazy-good-for-nuthin’-so-and-so. If you come to Kakariko at night, you can find him sitting in front of the big tree at the front of the village. We'll meet up with him later in the game.



Inside the windmill is this cheerful fellow. He seems very happy, doesn't he? Let’s just ignore the fact that if you go into first person view and look at his face it looks like he’s masturbating.

Graverobbing: Not Just For Grave Robbers Anymore



This is Kakariko’s graveyard. It’s also Hyrule’s only graveyard. This leads me to believe that either the Hylians eat their dead. Prove me wrong, fanboys.



During the day, you’ll find this lovable scamp. He’s a big fan of Dampe, the graveyard’s groundskeeper.



This grave with flowers in front of it has something we need buried beneath it. Unfortunately, we can’t get to it right now. If Blondie tries messing with the graves while Lovable Scamp is around, he will stop Blondie because he's a goodie-two-shoes.



At the back of the graveyard lies an extremely large grave with an odd symbol on the ground in front of it. The Royal Family, eh? Well, Zelda’s Lullaby is supposed to prove that we know the Royal Family, so let’s try playing it.



Huh. It started raining. Oh well. It doesn’t look like anythi…

What the hell? What kind of fuck rigs their tombstone to explode when people play songs near it?!

With the massive headstone gone, a neatly placed hole is revealed. Feeling particularly suicidal today, Blondie decides to go in for a closer look.





Inside the Royal Family’s Tomb, we encounter our first Keese. You may remember them as those super annoying bats from every Zelda game ever. Well, the more things change, the more they stay the same. OoT’s Keese are just as annoying as they ever were. Thankfully, the Keese in this room are sleeping which makes them easy pickings for our Slingshot. Keese are apparently good at adapting to their environment. Later in the game, we’ll run into Keese that are on fire and some that are on fire with ice. If that sounds retarded that's because it is.



In the next room we find our first ReDead. Like Deku Scrubs before them, ReDeads were introduced in the Zelda universe in OoT. The ReDead has two attacks. If you get near one, it will freeze you in place with its stare. And if it gets close to you…



NOMNOMNOM. Mashing buttons will knock it off of you. It will usually only inflict a small amount of damage before you get it off of you. While they’re not much of an offensive threat, they sure as hell are creepy.

That’s a bit morbid. E for Everyone my ass. E for Emo is more like it! HA! Get it?

Because it sounds like bad poetry you’d read on someone’s Livejournal.



Oh shit! So it is!



You kind of can’t tell since it’s pretty much always dark in the graveyard, but it’s now nighttime. The Sun’s Song will turn night into day and vice versa. It’s incredibly useful for when you need to talk to someone at a certain time of day. No more waiting in front of Hyrule Castle Town for us!



Translation: this song stuns ReDeads. Let’s give it a try!



Yup, sure does. It’s not permanent however. Once you hit them the stun wears off, so make sure you keep up your attack.



Since it’s now nighttime, Lovable Scamp has gone home and Dampe has come out to shuffle around and do nothing in particular. If you pay Dampe 10 rupees, he’ll dig a hole wherever he’s standing. While Dampe follows the graveyard’s stone path, there are small gaps in the path with soft dirt. If you pay him to dig there, you’ll find all sorts of treasure.





Like a Piece of Heart, for instance. Any Zelda vet worth his salt knows what these are. But just in case…Heart Pieces are one fourth of a full Heart Container. For every four of these we find our maximum life goes up by one. You typically get one as a reward for beating various minigames and many are found in hard-to-reach or hidden areas. Before the game is done, we’ll have found them all because I AM GREAT.

Now that Scamp is gone, we can move this grave and get its sweet, sweet honey. I find it very odd that a kid freaks out if you even look at a grave the wrong way, but the groundskeeper doesn’t give a crap if you jump into an exposed tomb.



Inside is a chest with a Hylian Shield! There’s also a Fairy Fountain, but you need bombs to get to it. What’s a Fairy Fountain, you ask?

Dude, stop asking so many questions! I’ll get to it eventually!

Anyway, the Hylian Shield is much stronger than the Kokiri Shield and, since it’s not made out of wood like the Kokiri Shield is, is unable to be destroyed by fire. This will be absolutely essential during the next dungeon and our eventual climb up Death Mountain.





Unfortunately for us, this thing is just too big to be used by a kid like Blondie. When you try and block with it, Blondie ducks down and hides underneath it. The obvious disadvantage to this shield is that it severely reduces your mobility due to its size. But screw it; it looks cool so let’s use it.



After rounding up a few more Gold Skulltulas, it's time to finally move things forward.





Fuck you, man. I’m trying to save you and you laugh at me? What a dick! I’m glad you [presumably die a few gameplay hours from now.]





Way ahead of you, chief. Remember: only suckers actually pay for things in this game!



Well, yes, but it was closed. But now that you say it’s open, it will be open the next time I head to Castle Town! Screw you, Main Story! Let’s go!

Let’s Become Indentured Servants!



This is the Happy Mask Shop owner. Just two years later, this NPC would serve as one of the driving forces in OoT’s pseudo-sequel Majora’s Mask. But for now, the Happy Mask Salesman is stuck behind a counter with a goofy grin on his face. The Happy Mask Shop works like this: the Salesman will let you borrow a mask and then you have to go sell it to someone. Each mask has a set price that, once sold, you will have to pay back to the Salesman. Some buyers will pay more than the asking price while others will pay less. There are only four masks you can sell and I can tell you that, in the long run, you will definitely come out on top if you do this. Your reward for selling all four masks is the Mask of Truth, which lets you communicate with Gossip Stones. It can also be used to net you a Deku Nut upgrade in the Lost Woods. But, once again, I’m getting ahead of myself. For now, we’re going to borrow the Keaton Mask (that yellow mask on the shelf) and move on.

The gatekeeper in Kakariko asked if we could get a Keaton Mask for his son. Now that we have one, we should head back to see him. But screw him; he’s an asshole. He can wait. Let’s go see what Not Mario and Malon are up to first.

My Little Pony





Located in the exact center of Hyrule Field is Lon Lon Ranch. Remember Not Mario and Malon from our visit to Castle Town? This is where they live/work. Malon’s mother is presumably dead, and judging by the fact that all he ever does is sleep, Not Mario is still grieving her loss. Or maybe we’re not supposed to think about things like this



This is Not Luigi. Not Luigi resents the fact that he works for a lazy bum like Not Mario. Not Luigi swears that someday, this ranch will be his! “Curse you, Not Mario!”, etc. Well, we’ll see about that Not Luigi. Maybe someday.

In the middle of Lon Lon Ranch, Malon is singing to her equine friend Epona. In a surprisingly effective use of the N64’s terrible sound chip, the Lon Lon Ranch music (played on a guitar sound) transfers over to a singing sound as you get closer to Malon and fades back to guitar as you walk away from her. Good work, Nintendo.



Whoa, look at that look she’s giving us! Go for it, Blondie! She wants you bad!





Malon tries introducing us to Epona, but she runs away. Maybe it’s our breath?



Okay, sure. Why not? I mean, we all grieve in different ways.



Instead of singing, Blondie blows into his Magical Yam and learns yet another song! I’ll never get over the fact that each time Blondie learns a song, he stares at his instrument with that “OH WHAT THE FU-“ look on his face. What did you think was going to happen, Blondie?





Kaepora silently voices his approval, and Epona is now suddenly so enamored with us that she starts pushing us around Lon Lon Ranch. Thanks, I guess?



We’re not done here yet. This building in the back of the ranch has something for us.





After moving some crates around, Blondie discovers a passage into a room with a Heart Piece. We’re halfway towards a full container now.





Back in the room with the crates, Blondie plays Epona’s Song for one of the cows in the room. Doing so lets us fill our empty bottle with the cow’s milk. It also apparently gives cows the power to talk, but let’s just ignore that for now. Milk heals five hearts with each gulp, and there are two gulps per bottle. That’s not bad when you’re a kid, but later in the game 10 hearts won’t really cut it anymore.





Now that our only bottle is full, maybe we should get another? Not Mario offers to play a game with us. For 10 rupees, he’ll release three Super Cuccos into a room full of regular Cuccos. Our job will be to find the three Cuccos. This game is amazingly easy; just watch where the three Super Cuccos land and go grab them.

You saw how she was looking at Blondie! Go for it! Also, is it just me or does Not Mario look stoned?



Pfft! Fuck you Not Mario. Well, whatever. He gives us a bottle full of Lon Lon Milk for our troubles, so I guess that’s a good thing.



We can’t get this Gold Skulltula yet. I’m not pointing this out because it’s interesting, but I am pointing it out because I’m totally going to forget about it unless I make a point to mention it right now.

Let’s Become Indentured Servants: Part 2



Now that we’re done in Lon Lon Ranch, let’s head back to Kakariko Village. The gatekeeper offers to buy our Keaton Mask for the asking price. Unfortunately, the sun decided to get in our way. But no matter; nothing will stop Blondie from closing a sale! Even if he goes blind in the process!





Now that we’ve sold the Keaton Mask, we’ve got access to a new mask. The Skull Mask can be sold to someone in the Lost Woods. Navi has been pestering Blondie and I to go see what Saria thinks about our this whole “let’s save Hyrule”-thing, so that’s all the more reason to head back to Kokiri Village. Let’s go!

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

It's thriller, Blondie
You're a wonderful lover, baby
Ayiyaiyaiyai!

When I first played this game a decade or so ago, I remember having a lot of trouble remembering where the cuccos would land and it took me a while to win the bottle as a result (shut up, I was stupid back then). Funny thing is, I found out later that it's not really necessary to work for it if you don't want to; you can throw all of the cuccos into the corner choke-point where Not-Mario is and when he tosses them in the air, the only ones left will be the super cuccos, guaranteed.

Good times, good times.

On another note, once you finish the happy mask quest, you should hold onto the Keaton Mask and where it all the time because it's totally rockin'.

Ah, "fine glass." I love how NPCs oversell the fact that they're just giving you empty bottles. The best are the beaver brothers in Majora's Mask, who literally regard their bottle as their most sacred treasure.


The Composer Brothers, it's worth mentioning, are Sharp and Flat, whose ghosts you meet by their graves on either side of the Royal Tombstone. They tell you that they died to keep Ganondorf from getting his hands on their work.

Not as cool as their role in Majora's Mask, but then, that's true of most characters.


And this one in particular is a huge pain to get, even worse than the equivalent digging game reward in A Link to the Past. You used save states, right?


This one just creeps me out, between the lack of windows and the fact that the only exit is a tiny tunnel cut out of stone. Why does this room exist? What if you crawled in, stayed a while, and found -- either because your body had grown, or someone had filed crates against the exit -- you couldn't get back out again?

I'm not even claustrophic, but I can't help but wonder if there's a tattered, tortured-looking corpse in that little pile of hay.

Well great. Thanks a lot, Kish - now I'll never be able to grab that Piece of Heart ever again. ;_;

Oh God, closed spaces. DON'T CAVE IN, PLEASE DON'T-

Fun fact: the N64 did not have a terrible sound chip! It couldn't have had a terrible sound chip, because it did not have a sound chip at all.

I thought for sure you were going to show off the cameo that happens at the ranch.

Hello Most Horrifying Thing, how are you this evening?

The fact that the N64 was able to run this game and handle Koji Kondo's most far-out sound design ideas without a dedicated soundchip is doubly amazing.

On that note, I recently read this analysis of the ocarina melodies. It's quite interesting, and there's Mother 3 stuff there as well.

They're not wrong. If the Zelda series has taught us anything, it's that every bottle you own makes you twice as hard to kill.

That's why I still have jars of pickles several years old in my fridge. The contents are long since inedible, but if I ever have to go on an adventure, the containers can save my life!

Of course, that doesn't explain the bag of old, moldy carrots.

I did this once and one of the cuccos landed in the corner choke-point. That sucked.

I have the best and worst luck with this game.

I'm pretty sure once you throw them out, a week later some random stranger will walk up to you and offer a chunk of human heart in exchange for a bag of moldy carrots.

If you want to please a Zelda fan to no end, get them a bottle. Go out and find a nice, decent-quality glass bottle with, preferably, a cork stopper (a glassblower can probably help you with this quest), but a mason jar would work in a pinch (just paint the top to cover up any label; alternatively, use the mason jar but find the cork somewhere else). Then fill it with either a blue, red, or green liquid (Gatorade or Kool-Aid would work, but I always thought the potions were probably a little more viscous), or just go to a hypermart or a toy store or something, go to the girls' toy aisle, find a teeny keychain-ish fairy and you're set.

Pretty much any geek on the planet will appreciate this.

Good idea. Next year everybody's getting Bottled Tinkerbells for Festivus!

Nintendo should take a page from Square's playbook and market a "Medicine of Life" drink...

(no, they really shouldn't)

The analysis page was quite interesting and awesome to see that someone really went through and looked at these great tunes. Plus some of the workarounds Kondo used to make the ocarina melodies much more complex than the few sounds that it was able to make.

Episode 6: Dance Dance Darunia!

Corrections

In the last episode, I mentioned that the N64 made good use of it's sound chip. Readers were quick to point out that the N64 doesn't have a sound chip. I apologize for the mistake. I know basically nothing about hardware and I wasn't even aware it was possible to, you know, make sound without a sound chip. But apparently it is! Who knew?

Follow the Irritating Song



At the top of Kokiri Village is the entrance to the Lost Woods. The Lost Woods are called so because one wrong turn will spit you back out at the entrance. To make matters even worse, my emulator apparently hates this area and decides to crash randomly whenever you try to leave the woods. But only sometimes. Thanks, Emulator!

There is a way to tell which path will to choose in the Lost Woods, however. The Lost Woods' music will grow quieter if you’re about to head the wrong direction. Just follow the music and you’ll get through the Woods. After following the music a bit, Blondie finds himself at a peculiar spot. That looks like a target, doesn’t it?



Huh. Guess so!





Fantastic. After hitting the middle of the target three times, a Deku Scrub gives you a Deku Seed Bag Upgrade. Our Deku Seed Bag is now fully upgraded! Thanks, Random Deku Scrub!



Further into the woods, Kaepora stops us and tells us what I just told all of you about following the music. Thanks for nothing, jackass.



Towards the end of the Woods, you’ll find this particular area off of the "main" path. Two Business Scrubs hang around here and sell Deku Sticks/Nuts. But there’s something else hidden here…



See where those butterflies are hovering? They're hovering over the entrance to a secret area.



Welcome to the Forest Stage! If you bring certain masks to this area, the Deku Scrubs inside will either give you gifts or attack you depending on whether or not they like your mask. We have the Skull Mask with us, so let’s try it out.









Seems like they like Blondie. Now we can carry more Deku Sticks! Too bad Deku Sticks are pretty useless…but hey, we got it! That’s something.



Continuing a bit further into the Woods, we find the Sacred Forest Meadow. We are immediately accosted by a Wolfos. Wolfos can guard against your attacks and will circle around you, waiting for a chance to strike.

Alternatively, for you Yakov Smirnoff fans out there, when fighting Wolfos, bad guys Z-Target you!

The easiest way to beat them is to stand perfectly still and guard. After the Wolfos attacks, the impact of striking your shield will send them backwards and cause them to turn their back to you. A well timed Jump Attack on their back will kill them in one hit, even as a puny kid with a tiny knife. We'll run into Wolfos later in the game when we're better equipped and they become even less of a threat.

You may have noticed that the Wolfos name is somewhat similar to another familiar Zelda enemy, the Stalfos. OoT added a number of "-fos" type enemies. They all behave somewhat similarly in that they will use Z-Targeting-like attacks against you. We're still quite a ways from seeing out first Stalfos, but be on the look out for some Lizalfos in the next episode.



The Sacred Forest Meadow is an extremely small and extremely linear maze. While navigating it, the camera shifts to an overhead perspective reminiscent of older Zelda titles. This is not only an homage to older Zelda titles, but it also makes the maze feel much bigger and more confusing than it actually is. This area serves as a prime example that good art direction can triumph over technical limitations if you do it right.

For more examples of this, see any game Blizzard or Valve has ever made, as well as *insert random game someone is sure to mention here*.

Hey, it’s our girlfriend. It seems like she’s the one who’s been playing the annoying music that’s been terrorizing Blondie. Hey, is that…a door above Saria?

Well, that’s enough foreshadowing. Let’s talk to her.



This probably isn't important.



Blondie used Leaf Attack!



Saria fainted. Alex wins!

Nintendo: I never thought I’d lose! You’re pretty tough!

Backtracking Through the Woods



Thankfully, the trip out of the Sacred Forest Meadow is much faster. A ladder allows Blondie to climb on top of the walls of the maze and run across the top to the entrance. It also leads to this particular ladder. At the base of this ladder is a hole that leads to the most important Fairy’s Fountain in the game.



Remember those lakes in the first Zelda that had fairies that would heal you? Well, this is OoT’s version of that. There are several Fairy’s Fountains in OoT, but this is the only one we’ll ever really need. Later in the game we’ll learn a warp song that will let us travel to where we met Saria at will. And since this fountain is so close, we’ll be warping here whenever we need a fairy. If we ever need one, that is.



After chugging two bottles worth of milk, Blondie decides to force two fairies into slavery. Bottled fairies serve two purposes. Fairies will automatically restore all of your life, which is great for obvious reasons. But to sweeten the deal, fairies will be used automatically should you die.

To recap, if you die, a fairy will not only revive you but give you full life as well. So if you have four bottles with four fairies, you technically have five life bars. Later in the game, it might be useful to have a green or blue potion handy…but beyond that, you’re going to want to have some fairies handy at all times. It’s simply stupid not to.



Really? You mean like those other songs I already know? Thanks again, Kaepora.



Back at the entrance of the Lost Woods, we meet this fellow. This is The Skullkid. If you’ve played Majora’s Mask, then you know just how important this guy really is. I’ll let Tanto explain that in his eventual Majora’s Mask LP. It seems like he’s pretty lonely, though. Well, since he has a flute, maybe he knows Leaf Attack too?







I don't know why everyone keeps calling it Saria's Song, but whatever. We got a Piece of Heart out of the deal.

I wish the real world worked like this. "Doctor, I'm dying! HELP!" "Do you have insurance?" "No, but-" "Sorry but I can't." "Doot doo doo! Doot doo doo!" "I mean, come right on in!"

Apparently the duck-billed Skullkid has some confidence issues and is convinced that our Skull Mask can help him. The only problem is that Skullkid is near broke and pays us less than the asking price. Luckily, Blondie is filthy rich, so we can spare the rupees.



Continuing past the Skullkid’s domain, we come upon a Business Scrub just under the bridge Saria gave us the Fairy Yam on. This Scrub sells us a Deku Stick upgrade for 40 rupees. Now we can carry 30 Deku Sticks at once! Um, hooray?

Let’s Become Indentured Servants: Part 3



Now that the Skull Mask has been sold, Blondie heads back to Castle Town to get the next mask. Spooky Mask, huh?





Scamp could stand to be more spooky, wouldn’t you say? Scamp pays us a bit more than the asking price. There’s only one mask left to sell before we can get the Mask of Truth. Unfortunately, it’s a huge pain in the ass to sell so I’ll be holding off on that for a bit. I think we’ve waited long enough. We’re already in Kakariko so let’s head to the gate we opened with Zelda’s letter.

Let’s Head to Rock-Eating Monkey City!



For reasons that are never explained, a cloud ring hovers around the mouth of Death Mountain. I always thought it was a little bizarre that Death Mountain is one of the first areas you’re forced to explore in the game after showing up later in the game in all previous Zeldas. Hey, isn’t Death Mountain where Link fights Ganon in the original Zelda? But we're heading there to meet with the Gorons? How can that be?



Shortly after stepping foot on Death Mountain Trail, Blondie is attacked by a tektite. Tektites are traditionally inhabitants of Death Mountain and OoT doesn’t change that. They’re just as annoying as ever too. We’ll run into some blue ones later, but unlike previous versions, there isn’t much difference between the two. There are several methods for defeating them. We’ve got a ton of Deku Seeds, so we could just shoot them…but you can also wait for them to jump, guard, and counter attack. My favorite method is to meet them mid-air with a Jump Attack. It’s difficult to get the timing right, but it kills them in one hit and looks bad ass.



After walking an extremely linear path full of secrets we can’t access yet, Blondie comes upon Goron City. Goron City is appropriately enough home to the Gorons. Gorons are bizarre monkey-like creatures that eat rocks. They come in various sizes and shapes, and are really, really lame.



At the base of Goron City is a door. A message on the door reveals that Darunia, the leader of the Gorons is not accepting visitors, unless if there’s a message from the Royal Family. Remember: anytime you read “Royal Family” anywhere, that means play Zelda’s Lullaby.

Inside Blondie finds Darunia and…well, you have to see it for yourself.

Video Challenge: Darunia’s Request

Everyone’s waiting on you!

Sidequestin’ in Rock Town

With the Power Bracelet safely on our wrist, we can gain access to our second dungeon…but let’s finish our first Heart Piece first. In the middle of the room before Darunia’s room, there is a large vase surrounded by several unlit torches. Darunia’s room has torches in it so we can use that flame to light all of the others.



Once the torches are lit, the vase starts spinning. The trick here is to go to the level above and throw bombs into the vase. It’s a bit of a pain, but once you get a bomb inside the jar will stop spinning and give you…



Three rupees? Oh, fuck this.





That’s more like it. Depending on which face the jar “lands” on, you’ll get a different reward. Getting the happy face gets us our fourth Piece of Heart and another full Heart Container!

Elsewhere in Goron City, Medigoron is working on something. Five or six years? Screw it, I don’t need whatever you’re working on anyway.



Hey, here’s a shortcut to the Lost Woods. Now we can travel between Kokiri Village and Goron City in a flash!



On the middle level of Goron City, Hot Rodder rolls around endlessly. Stopping him will get you a Bomb Bag upgrade…but we don’t have one yet, so let’s ignore him for now.





Just overlooking Dodongo’s Cavern is a bomb flower plant. Throwing it over the edge allows us to blow open the entrance to the cavern. It’s dungeon time!

The Power of Heart (not the band, they’re terrible)

Well, except that I forgot to do a few things earlier. Oops! Let's backtrack one more time!





After climbing down Death Mountain Trail, Blondie headed towards Kakariko’s Graveyard. In the back row of graves, there is an unmarked grave with a cavern beneath it. Inside is a single ReDead and after defeating him, a large chest appears. Inside is a Piece of Heart! But there’s still one more piece to get before we move on...







Thanks to the entrance we opened up in Goron City, Blondie made his way back to the Lost Woods. These two Skullchildren are looking for some to jam with. After following along with a randomly generated song a few times, Blondie is given a second Piece of Heart! Alright, now that we’re halfway towards another heart piece, I think we’re finally ready to face Dodongo’s Cavern.

But who knows what horrors await us within?

Viewer Mail

I didn't bother showing them off simply because...well, there's no point. Gotta edit things to keep each entry moving quick, you know? I felt it was more important to showcase the new enemies inside the tomb. You're completely right about their role in MM, though. I think the only character who has a cooler role in OoT than MM is Link, and even that's debatable.

No, I didn't. I made one beforehand because I thought I might need it, but I got it second try. And I don't know what planet you're from, but the one in A Link to the Past is way harder. That minigame is frustrating and difficult, whereas as OoT's just costs money. And considering that money is easy to come by in OoT, I feel it's not unfair to say that this digging minigame has no challenge whatsoever.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who's a little bothered by that area.

I'd buy it. But then again, I'm kind of dumb.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

... Really? I could never understand where the vitriol to the ALttP digging game comes from; I can usually get that heart piece on the third or fourth try with little effort. As long as you dig as fast as you can and have a decent amount of money on-hand (and even then, you can win most of your earnings back), it's no more harder than getting any of the others.

I think the Gorons are kinda funny. Mainly for the noises they make when they stand up.

I watched a tool-assisted run that skipped the whole of Dodongo's Cavern by hitting the stone skull's eyes with bombchus.

This is, by far, my favorite way to kill these guys. Also, that video clip was pretty awesome.

Excuse me?! How about we try this thread one more time without the racism?

(It is ok to be racist against the Zora, because they're fish)

But the female Zoras don't wear shirts.

The thing that blew my mind was that Zelda's Lullaby was a pre-existing song that happened to map to the ocarina in such a way that it was played with a triangle motion, while still making sense as an instrument.

That only furthers my point.