A Brief History of Time (Ocarina of Time)

It drops treasure when it dies, doesn't it?

First of all, I'd like to apologize for the wait between updates. This was originally two parts, with the first part having been completed for the better part of a week, but then I decided to turn it into one mega update. And then things got real. I got sick and...just stuff. Well, here it is at any rate. As soon as this goes live I will immediately start work on Episode 22, so hopefully it won't be another two weeks before you hear from me again.

With Impa awakened, there's only one Sage left to find before we can assault Ganondorf head on. Rauru mentioned something about a desert many updates back, and since we've become an honorary member of the Gerudo Tribe, we have access to the desert. Let's check it out.



Near Gerudo Fortress lies the gate that leads into the Haunted Wasteland. Charming name isn't it? And the Gerudo wonder why their tourism has been down the past few years.



Yes, of course. Because I can't do anything without jumping through some hoops first.

It's the Hylian way!

But they're Gerudo!

Trade and diplomatic relations between the two groups have led to the Gerudo absorbing some Hylian customs over time.

Well played.



Well, you can't walk across any river unless if there's a bridge, so I just sort of assumed that the same would be true for this one.

What about a dried up river?

Well that's a riverbed but not an actual river.

True, but it's a dried up river, so it still falls under the subse-

OH MY GOD SHUT UP



Luckily, we've got something that will let us see the truth. Shouldn't be a problem.





There are two relatively simple ways to cross the river of quicksand.



You can use your Longshot to pull yourself across the river thanks to some well placed wooden boxes.



Or you can Trust the Boots�.



After all, you're facing certain death just by being here. You'd be a fool if you didn't come and face our certain bargains!





Hell lo!



This guy sells Bombchus, which you almost never need to use. There's also a shop that sells them at night in Hyrule Castle Town, making this one of the most pointless shops in a game full of pointless shops.

After crossing the river and possibly visiting Pointless Shop, Blondie has to follow a preset path of flags to his next destination. Visibility is extremely poor in the desert and it is entirely possible to get turned around and start following the flags in the wrong direction if you're not careful.



Blondie will eventually arrive at this house in the middle of the Wasteland. Inside the house are some Gold Skulltulas and rupees, but we don't need any of that junk anymore so I'm not even going to bother.

I mean, you'll just have to discover the secrets on your own! You can do it! I believe in you! That's totally what I meant.



Sounds like us. Turning around and turning on the Lens will make a ghost appear.



The guide will eventually bring you to the Desert Colossus. I say eventually because he takes the most ridiculously round-a-bout route possible.



Along the way, another classic Zelda enemy makes its first 3D appearance. Leevers, also known as Those Really Annoying Red and Blue Thingys That Go Underground in the original Zelda, attack in small groups. Each Leever will pick a direction and wobble in that direction for a few feet before retreating underground. They're simple to kill but they spawn endlessly so don't even bother. It's best to just keep moving. Watch their patterns and use your dodge roll accordingly. Thankfully, even if you mess up, Leevers don't deal a large amount of damage so the only real threat they pose is to your patience.



It's kind of hard to tell, but that's a giant statue of a woman. You'll get a better look at it soon.



Two palm trees marking a cracked wall that can be destroyed? ...what could be inside?





Our second-to-last Great Fairy's Fountain, of course.



Nayru's Love makes Blondie invincible for a short period of time. As if Biggoron's Sword wasn't game breakingly strong enough, now we can become invincible for a minute or two. Can anything stop Blondie now?





Click title to view video!

Video Summary: After meeting with the Great Fairy, Blondie decides to check out the interior of the Desert Colossus. After hitting a roadblock, a familiar face comes to lend Blondie a hand.

To move forward, we'll need to return to the Colossus as a child. But before we do that, let's take care of some unfinished business around Hyrule.



Let's try this again, Phantoon. ...yup, looks good.



One thing I'd forgotten to do since picking up the Longshot is Spider-man around Kakariko Village. Why would I want to do that (aside from the obvious reason of it being bad ass), you ask?

See me again? I've never spoken to you before. Whatever, Heart Piece. That's what matters.



Time to go back in time again.

And then go to the Spirit Temple!

Pfft, no. We need to go play with some frogs first.





We passed by this log multiple times earlier in the game. It houses one of the more annoying minigames in Ocarina of Time.



When you stand on the log, this message appears. Pulling out your Ocarina causes...



Five frogs to appear. Playing the five of the six "regular" songs (specifically Epona's Song, Zelda's Lullaby, the Song of Time, Saria's Song, and the Sun's Song) will cause the frogs to grow larger. You'll also get 50 rupees each time but who cares? Money is pointless. Playing the sixth regular song, the Song of Storms, will net you...





A Heart Piece! Just two more to go!



After you've made all of the frogs big/played the Song of Storms, a new and terrible minigame will appear.



Each frog is assigned a note (C-right, C-down, C-left, C-up, and A). Playing that note causes the frog to jump and eat the butterfly over its head if there is one. The butterfly will appear over the frogs in a predetermined order. Your goal is to "feed" the frogs by making them jump when the butterfly is over their head. To make it annoying, you are never explicitly told which frog is matched to what button. If that sounds like complete b.s., that's beacause it is.

As if that wasn't annoying enough, your notes must be input extremely quickly. It sucks, so let me save you some trouble: A, C-Left, C-Right, C-Down, C-Left, C-Right, C-Down, A, C-Down, A, C-Down, C-Right, C-Left, A. Do it quickly and never look back.



It's worth it, though. Just one left. Let's warp back to the Colossus.





This Magic Leaf will lead us to out last Heart Piece. I'm pleased to say that we're almost done with all the game's sidequests. Except for the few I have opted not to do, all that remains is to grab our last Heart Piece and visit the last Great Fairy. But for now, let's investigate the Spirit Temple.





Oh? And who might you be?

Unlike most Zelda conversations, this one has you pick the response that has the least to do with the game's story.



*sigh* Sure...



Just who the hell are you, ordering me around like this?



I'm Blondie, Hero of Time. I'm a psychopath who enjoys destroying property, entering strangers houses, and doing mundane tasks for strangers.



Pfft, it's better than Nabooru...





Sounds easy enough.





Oh goodness! He killed people! Villains aren't supposed to do that! Oh wait they do it all the time who cares?





Yeah, that'll learn 'em real good. Let's do it!





Sex?

No, this game is E for Everyone. Plus, I'm pretty sure you're a kid at the moment so I have a feeling she's thinking more along the lines of chocolate coins or action figures.



You're unusually cooperative today, Blondie. What gives?

Nothing. I'm just going to keep the treasure for myself, of course.

Yeah but you could get her help...

Help? From her?! She wants to sneak into his lair and play pranks on him. This isn't a Little Rascals episode. This is real life, son.

As you can see, this dungeon has something of an Egyptian motif. Hieroglypics are all over the walls and the overall architechture is reminiscent of a pyramid or Egyptian temple.





The strategy for the first part of the Spirit Temple isn't to throw new, deadlier enemies at you. It's to make you fight enemies that Adult Blondie can barely handle with your limited Kid Blondie inventory. Luckily, if you're even more patient than usual, the Stalfos won't be able to harm you.



Blondie is a kid right now, which means the Boomerang is back. ...which means the "throw it around an obstruction"-thing is back too. Not terribly complicated but it's nice to see the Boomerang back in action.

Also, get ready to say goodbye to the Boomerang since this is basically the last time we'll ever need to use it. I guess it was fun while it lasted?



Sounds good to me.



Din's Fire is suddenly becoming useful. What gives, game?



Since Kokiri's Sword isn't even as strong as the Master Sword, enemies like Wallmasters and Stalfos take a bit longer to kill. But it's nothing Blondie and his amazing 18 hearts can't handle (and hell we have Nayru's Love too if it came down to it).



These guys are still phenomenally easy.



Jerry Maguire references were considered hip and edgy too.



Hmm. Time to finally make use of the Bombchu! In case you hadn't happened upon one as a prize in a minigame or as a prize from the Skulltula family or just straight up bought some, there's a chest in this room that contains some. So you really have no excuse.







The second half of the Spirit Temple has a LOT of "shine light on this" puzzles so get used to this.



Blondie will eventually end up in a big room with a giant statue in the center. Remember this room, since we'll be heading back here later. Is that a Triforce I see on her hand? Gee, I wonder what we have to do there...



Silver rupees, a "shine light on this" thingy, and torches?

And Beamos? Man, this room is both extremely simple and extremely irritating.







Collecting the rupees lights a brazier, putting the sun block in the sun opens the door, and using a Deku Stick to light the other torches gets you a key that opens the door to...



This guy. That's a pretty big ax you got there, buddy. Let's see how well you can use it.





Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Deep in the heart of the Spirit Temple lies the 3D reimagining of one of the most annoying enemies ever: the Iron Knuckle. With some patience and timing, Blondie triumphs over his phenomally powerful foe, and says goodbye to an old friend.



With Nabooru out of commission, it's time to head back to the Colossus as an adult.



With the Gauntlets in/on our hands, it's time to venture into the second half of the Spirit Temple.



But first, let's ride that Magic Leaf we planted. Can it be?!



Our last piece! The container we get for finishing the Spirit Temple will bring us to a full 20 hearts. There's still one more health-related upgrade we can get, though...



Now that we have the Silver Gauntlets, moving this giant block is a breeze. In addition, the Gauntlets allow you to pick up gray boulders. Remember that room full of "unbreakable" grey rocks in Goron City? Well, we can easily dispose of them now. And that's just the beginning. A large number of secret areas are hidden under gray boulders...but none of them have anything terribly important. But if you're a completionist, then you definitely are going to need to check it out.



Gee I wonder what this does? Come on Nintendo, were you even trying?



Wolfos? Really? At this point in the game? Why even bother?



Silver rupees.

Check.

Song of Time block.

Check.

Boulders.

Check.

It's official: this is getting boring.

Just wait, guys! There are new challenges coming up, I swear!

See? You have to use the Hover Boots to reach that one! You can't just jump to it like normal! That's...uh...new...kinda...



Once upon a time, Like Likes were the bane of our existence. Now? One swing of Biggoron's Sword and they're gone. Talk about anti-climatic.



Invisible Floormasters are the worst kind of Floormasters. Make sure you have your Lens of Truth handy.



As I mentioned before, a large portion of the second half of the Spirit Temple revolves around shining light on these weird sun things. This puzzle is easily solved by rotating the mirror to light the right face. Ho hum. Can you tell that I don't really like the Spirit Temple yet?



This leads us back to the central statue room. Now that we're on the eastern side (which was inaccessible as a child), we can use our Hover Boots to reach the blatantly obvious "play Zelda's Lullaby here"-point.



Blondie will have to head back to the "child" side of this room in order to Longshot to this chest. Getting back to the "adult" side is easy thanks to a conveinently placed Hookshot target. I just wish I had known this when I was younger. I used to use the warp song to leave the dungeon entirely and then head through the dungeon again from the beginning. All because I never noticed that target on the ceiling. Well, you live and learn I suppose.



You may have noticed that Beamos have come back with a vengenance. We first encountered Beamos way back in Dodongo's Cavern, as an introduction to the idea of using Bombs as weapons. But then they went strangely absent for an extremely long period of time. It seems that somewhere around development of the Shadow Temple, the developers realized that yes, Beamos really are a huge pain in the ass and maybe it'd be challenging if we threw some more in there. The Shadow and Spirit Temple are both chock full of Beamos, and Ganondorf's Castle is just...well, you'll see.



With the Fire Arrows in hand, we don't even need to spend the "6 MP" it takes to cast Din's Fire in order to dispatch this Anubis. Of course, there are three Anubis (Anubi?) in this room, and at "2 MP" for each arrow...well, whatever. It looks cooler.

Also, how the hell am I supposed to even know how much MP Blondie has without doing a bunch of testing, game? Why tell me the MP values for spells on the inventory screen, and then give me a gauge? It doesn't add up. You keep your damn numbers out of my action/adventure game, Nintendo!



Welcome to one of the more annoying puzzles in the game. In this room, you need to agitate one of four Armos, lure them onto the floor switch, and hope to God that they stay still long enough for you to make it to the door. Where's the Cane of Somaria when you need it?

Also, I've always wondered if the Cane of Somaria is some sort of horrible mistranslation of Somalia, or if it's just a coincidence? The world may never know!



You again?

Tch, whatever. I have Biggoron's Sword now. This'll be a piece of cake.



Four jump attacks (or eight regular attacks, or some mix of the two) is all it takes with Biggoron's Sword. Just use the hit and run tactics I showed you all earlier, and you'll be fine.



Hey, look! Isn't that where we got the Gauntlets?

Yup. This dungeon is all about symmetry, if you hadn't noticed.



Remember earlier in the LP when I mentioned the censoring of the Fire Temple? Well, Ocarina of Time has been censored in three places since it's intial release. The Fire Temple's music was changed from sounding "too Islamic" to something extremely bland. We already covered that.

Later in the game, one of the characters bleeds a bit and the color of the color of their blood was changed (more on this when it happens).

And lastly, the design on the Mirror Shield was changed. What you see here is the original "crescent and star" design. Since this image is associated closely with Islam, it was eventually removed from the game. Here's a side-by-side comparison between the new and old designs.



Alex's MS Paint Skillz have evolved into Irfanview Skillz!

The new design's pretty lame, huh? Not all of these changes were made at once. The Fire Temple/blood changes were made to later versions of the N64 cart of OoT. But the Mirror Shield design change wasn't made until OoT was ported to Gamecube in the Master Quest and Compilation editions. Since this is a ROM of a N64 cart, the changes haven't been made to the shield yet. But it's safe to assume that the blood will be changed, since the Fire Temple music was changed. I still don't really understand why Nintendo bothered to make these changes. I can't imagine that that many people complained about it...



Now that we have the Mirror Shield in hand, we can reflect light beams without the need of any mirrors. Neat, I guess?

Each section of this wall slides back and forth in an attempt to throw Blondie into the wall spikes. It's very easy to be on one particular section and then have the above section slide away, stranding you there. Thankfully, there's a very quick way through this puzzle



Just cheat! The Longshot can easily reach the top/stationary section of climbable wall, so why bother dealing with Skulltulas and sliding walls?



You guys again? What is this? First Beamos and now these slug things? Is this dungeon a greatest hits of irritating enemies or something?

Actually, now that I think of it, it kind of is. Stalfos, Wolfos, these guys, Beamos, Iron Knuckles, Leevers...if it's ever been annoying in a Zelda game, it's here.



It even has the fake doors from the Fire Temple! They thought of everything!



A mirror and a sun switch? Gee, I wonder what needs to be done here...



Really? A new enemy this late in the game? Meet the White Bubble. Like his cousins Blue and Green, the White Bubble is a flying skull that tries to bite Blondie. The White Bubble is invincible while moving, and after attacking will remain stationary for a time. While stationary, the Bubble is completely vulnerable. This makes them possibly even easier than the Green/Blue Bubbles we encountered in the Forest/Shadow Temples.







Puzzled solved.





This elevator leads Blondie back into the central statue room, only now we're at a much higher vantage point. We're about equal with the statue's face.

I know! Let's shine light on it for no clearly discernible reason!







Good thinking Blondie! Everyone knows that statues are allergic to light!

Coming up next is the boss fight with the Double Dynamo, Twin Rova. This is one of my favorite fights in the game but...well, it doesn't lend itself to video very well. It's kind of long and not very interesting to watch. At the same time, this fight has some of the best bits of physical comedy in the game, so I'd be stupid if I didn't throw some video in there. So! This boss fight will be partly screenshot and partly video. Enjoy!

Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Blondie is forced to face off against an old friend and is then introduced to the Sorceress Sisters, Kotake and Koume. A bit strange, aren't they...?

And so the fight begins! The fight against Twin Rova has two phases. Phase one has Kotake and Koume fly around the arena and fling their ice and fire spells at you. When each fire or ice blast hits the ground, it will freeze or melt the area around where the blast hit temporarily, so be careful where you step.







But no matter. Blondie has the Mirror Shield (due to emulator issues I had to do this fight a few times so that's why the Heart totals are all over the place). As you can see, these blasts can be reflected back at the sisters. The goal of the first phase is to deflect one sister's blast onto the other. Burn the ice sister, freeze the fire sister. The only problem is that the two sisters rarely stay together and getting them in a position where you can hit the other sister may take some time.

The most commonly used tactic is to use R to crouch and try and find the other sister with the reflected beam. This works if the two are close together, but aiming the shield is a bit difficult. Another, riskier tactic is to wait for one sister to initiate their attack. Then, Z-Target the other sister. Move out of the way of the attacking sister's beam and then move into the beam, targeting the other sister the whole time, with your shield drawn. If you get the angle right, it is possible to do this. It is a bit tricky though, and you can very easily be hit using this approach.

Either way, once you've hit the sisters a total of four times, you'll move on to phase two.













Is that...a...



Uhhh....



Phase two is a lot easier, but also a lot more interesting. Twin Rova will now hover over one of the four pillars located on the edge of the arena. From there, she will fling ice or fire blasts at you. Blondie will need to Z-Target and block the blast with the Mirror Shield.

Notice how the shield is glowing red? That's because it's absorbed Twin Rova's magic. Absorbing three like elemental blasts (three fire or three ice)...





...causes the Mirror Shield to expel the stored energy, stunning the gigantic tranny monster wizard...thing.



Simply run over the to the pillar, hit her six times with Biggoron's Sword (you'll need to stun her twice), and you're done. Make sure you don't mix and match magic types. If you're absorbing fire, then avoid ice bolts. If you're absorbing ice, then avoid fire blasts. This is where the fight can drag on sometimes. It's not uncommon to have to wait for the "right" type of magic bolt to be thrown at Blondie. Still, despite it's more tedious moments, I love this boss fight for it's wacky pre-boss and post-boss scenes.







Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Twin Rova is defeated and, what do you know, the only Gerudo we met with a proper name is a Sage! Who could've guessed?



Sup?





We're in the final stretch, folks. We could go run to Hyrule Castle Town and finish the game...but there's one more thing we need to do. We've got some training to do.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time: Blondie tackles the optional dungeon, the Gerudo Training Ground. Once that's done, Sheik's true identity is revealed! Then it's time to tackle the horrors of Ganondorf's Castle. We're almost done, folks. Get ready for some major twists and turns.

Actually, the guy in Hyrule Castle Town has a limited stock. The only lasting means of acquiring Bombchus are this guy and hoping they come up as your prize for Bombchu bowling.

Granted, there are only four or five places in the whole game where you would ever need or want to use Bombchus, but still. I appreciate this guy.


But if you kill enough Leevers, you'll summon a giant Leever who gives off fifty Rupees when killed. (The same applies to Guays, as well.) Granted, Rupees are useless, but...still. It's one of those things you find interesting when it's 1998 and you're tearing this game apart for every last hidden detail.

...Speaking of which, those insane conspiracy theorists who were sure there was some incredibly obscure, arcane, invisible method to finding the Triforce in this game used to swear you could see the silhouette of a pyramid if you stood in the right place in the Haunted Wasteland, played the Song of Storms, and looks in just the right direction when the lightning flashed. Then some of them actually tried to find, through sheer trial and error, some unmarked secondary path through the sandstorm to reach it.

I almost feel sorry of them, really.


It's just a minor thing, and the full effect doesn't come across in a screenshot, but the starry reflection in the shield as it revolves above Link's hands is probably the prettiest thing in the game.


That's right: if a kid's going to grow up to be a good-looking adult, there's no harm starting a little early. Thanks, Nabooru!

Easy method: stand right next to the door, and there should be one Armos right opposite the switch from you. Shoot it with an arrow/longshot, and get ready to open the door.

I never liked the spirit temple, and this right here may be my least favorite room in the entire game. Grrrr.

It's probably not a coincidence that this is also where I gave up on the Master Quest.

For your favorite game ever you sure don't seem to like a lot of the dungeons.

Well, I like them all. I just don't like some of them as much. The Shadow Temple is the most simplistic of all of the Temples, and I still like it more than...say, Twilight Princess' Water Temple. The Spirit Temple is a bit irritating since it's a "greatest hits" of other puzzles from earlier in the game, and at this point I've beaten OoT a kajillion times. So there's just nothing that can surprise me about it anymore.

But no matter. We're about to move into my favorite section of the game, so this is where you'll see why this is my favorite game ever. I'm doing this whole LP so I can talk about the parts coming up. That's how much I like them.

Boom. Nailed it. If you run out of Bombchu after buying the Castle Town Shop's entire stock, then you're insane. Bombchu are never a practical weapon and are only used in the smallest number of puzzles. It's expensive to boot. I don't think it's needed. I'd actually appreciate Bombchus more if there was a finite supply of them.

Guays, Stalchildren, and Leevers all do this. Odd that big Leevers drop 50 while big Stalchildren drop 5...well, no matter. As we all know, money is useless in this game.

This is 100% true. I almost considered making a video clip of it. Other highlights are the Silver/Gold Scales and the three Spiritual Stones. I'm not sure what they did to make those items look like that, but they're much better looking than anything else in the game.

If bombchus were finite then the game could become theoretically unbeatable if you run out, right? So you can't have that.

I've always really liked the Spirit Temple, and I can't even tell you why. I could write pages about how the Forest Temple is an awesome dungeon, but Spirit just appeals to me at some primal level of my soul. The music is nice, it looks cool, it's nice and lengthy with lots of variety, and there aren't any really obnoxious parts.

I seem to recall figuring out as a kid that there was no way you could actually make the two paths meet up, though. They're too far apart to converge on the same room, or something to that effect...

I just remembered that I've also encountered crazy people who have insisted that the Spirit Temple's map is supposed to represent the female reproductive system. Their argument relies on the fact that it's housed inside a giant stone woman, and that 1F's layout kind of looks like a uterus and some ovaries, if ovaries were significantly larger than a uterus and consisted of multiple chambers and passages. And...the theory kind of breaks down right there, really.

Zelda theories are the best theories. I can't believe how much credit people give to a video game series, which for the most part is being made up as they go along. I can't remember if it was mentioned in this thread, but some people even think that the name Zelda is some sort of clue for a fourth triforce or something, which is clearly insane.

The fourth one is the Triforce of Style.

I thought this was the clue for the fourth piece:



It's not a good clue, but there you go.

See, now that I can actually buy. And it's a nice little window for Nintendo to leave open if they ever run out of ideas for Zelda games. But the fact is that Zelda was named Zelda before there was a third Triforce, and was picked because Shiggy liked the name from F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife (who, as an interesting side note, was a bat-shit insane alcoholic).

Has there every been any real explanation about all the bird/phoenix symbolism in Hyrule? I have a hat with one version of the Royal Crest on it, and I keep wondering if there is more to it.

Okay, granted, F.Scott wasn't exactly ... stable, either...

Came for the Kate Beaton; left satisfied.

Maybe it's just me, but that image is so yellow that it blinks every time I move my gaze and kind of feels like it's searing my retinas.

All part of my plan.

... Actually, it is kind of brutal. I probably should have taken the black version from my google image search. My bad.

No, I'm not dead. Yes, I know it's been a while (nearly a month? No way!). I'm sorry. There's been a lot of stressful things going on in my personal life as of late. It's not that I haven't had the time to update, it's just that I haven't had the energy. I've also run into a small technical problem for Episode 24 but hopefully I can get that sorted out. All that, and I've been way too hard on myself. At the time of this writing, I have fully written and completed Episode 22 and 23 three times. Then, during the proofreading process, I got frustrated and deleted the whole thing and started over. Three times. This is, hands down, my favorite part of the game and I want to make sure it's done "right". But at this rate, if I keep waiting until this is "perfect", I will never finish. So let's do this. Episode 22 v4.0 initiate!

Our next objective is the Gerudo Training Ground. The GTG is OoT's only optional dungeon.

Optional? We'll be skipping it then, right?

Nope. I've cut enough corners already.

You can access the dungeon at any time, provided you've become an honorary Gerudo by beating the game's sole not-so-stealth mission at Gerudo Fortress. But you'll never be able to fully complete the GTG unless if you have all the tools Blondie currently has at his disposal, so it's best to wait until after the Spirit Temple to tackle the Training Ground.



Since we briefly discussed this after the last update, here's a giant Leever. He left 15 rupees for me. Yes, I'd say this is a complete waste of time. It does make a neat little piece of trivia, though! Talk about attention to detail, eh? I was going to get a picture of a giant Guay as well, but then I remembered that Guay are a huge pain in the ass.

Speaking of things we've talked about before, I'm long overdue to acknowledge a message Youtube user Koopaslaya sent to me a while back.

First of all, thank you for your praise. It's nice to know that someone out there enjoys this, since I easily get discouraged (as you may have noticed).

On to the matter at hand: the Scarecrow's song. I haven't tested it, but I have every reason to believe that what Koopaslaya is saying is true. I swear that I remember doing it with only one note, but the simple truth is that I haven't used the Scarecrow's Song in over 10 years so I could very easily be mistaken. As I have already shown, the Scarecrow's Song is only necessary when you're going for all 100 Gold Skulltulas. Everything else has a workaround. But still, good to know that it isn't my ROM after all. I'm just mentally defective.

I could've told you that.

Always a pleasure, Blondie.





Good thing we're registered members and filthy rich.





Nothing to it! How hard can this be, anyway?

I'm glad you asked! The Gerudo Training Ground features some of the toughest puzzles in the game. Blondie will need to tap into his full arsenal in order to solve the myriad puzzles that await him within the Training Ground. After solving each room's puzzle, Blondie will find a key. There are ten keys in the Training Grounds in all. In the main lobby of the Training Grounds there are three paths: one on that leads west, east, and north. The northern path leads to a room full of locked doors, while the other two lead to a series of challenges. At the end of the northern path lies the dungeon's treasure: the useless but nifty Ice Arrows. But getting the keys will not be a walk in the park...

I hate you so, so much.

I know.





Thankfully, each room gives you a hint as to what you're supposed to be doing. So while the Training Ground can be difficult, it's never overwhelming. It's also never made readily apparent where the disembodied voice is coming from but...uh, let's just ignore that for now.



A silver rupee puzzle? Oh please. You're kidding, right?



Hey!



Watch out!

Disembodied voice doesn't mess around. There's defintely some danger in here.



Sounds promising!





A small pack of Wolfos ambush Blondie in this room, but if Wolfos are difficult for you at this point in the game then I don't even know what to say.

That's not a real door. Don't trust it.



You can trust that Hookshot target, though.



This is part of the reason why you should wait until you're through the Spirit Temple to try the Training Ground.



Thanks to Biggoron's Sword, Like Likes are nothing to be concerned with anymore. Let's just grab that chest and...



AHH CRAP

Oh, right. I forgot about that. Don't trust that, either.



These chests, though? The hidden ones that you can only see with the Lens of Truth?



They're your best friends.









There's not really much that needs to be said about these rooms, is there?





We've got Hover Boots and a Longshot, so that doesn't sound terribly difficult. All of the pillars are located within Hover Boot-able distance of one another, and the two pillars with torches can easily be Longshotted to.