A Brief History of Time (Ocarina of Time)

I've never been a fan. I think having to go as an adult, then a kid, then and adult again always made it feel kind of tedious to me.

And honestly, I find that the mirror shield dungeon in every Zelda is kind of my least favorite. I don't know if that's a coincidence or if it's because it's a boring item to try to build interesting level design around.

Sweet boss fight though.

Isn't it the Spirit Temple? I guess Light works, contrasting with the Shadow Temple.

Anyway, I rather like it. Playing through as both a kid and an adult gave it a sort of "quest that transcends time" vibe, plus it's cool that there are two items to pick up. Always enjoyed melting the face off the statue with light too.

I can't remember If I've posted in this thread and told you I'm really enjoying this LP yet.

But in case I didn't, I am following this thread and really enjoying this LP!

That's the Spirit Temple. The Light Temple is the secret one.

It is indeed the Spirit Temple, but you do visit the Temple of Light at a few points in OoT. The only time you visit the Temple of Light is when you are in the Chamber of the Sages meeting the Sages after a dungeon. But there is a way to visit it in another Zelda title...I don't want to get into the whole Zelda timeline thing yet though, so use your imagination.

And no, you didn't Beat. But thank you!

Actually, I want to toss my hat in as well: this is by far the best LP I've read yet. (Granted, I've only read like 10 or 12, but hey, you know, whatever.)

Thanks Alixsar!

When we last left Blondie, he was exploring the Hylia formerly known as Lake. Before we head to the Water Temple, there’s a slew of important business that we must attend to first.

This is going to be a pain in the ass, isn’t it?

Yes. Considerably.



If you’ll remember, as a child Blondie planted a Magic Bean near the lone building at Lake Hylia (the Lakeside Laboratory). Using the Magic Leaf that sprouted, Blondie is able to get to the roof of the Lab. A ladder leads up to a very high point where a Piece of Heart awaits. You have to be careful though, since a few birds fly around the Lab and…



AHHHHH SHI-

…they can knock you off. *ahem* Yes, well…that’s nothing an arrow or two can’t take care of.





Halfway to fifteen! Unfortunately, we won’t be getting any more Heart Pieces this update. But next next time? It’s a pretty safe bet.



From this point, you can get a clear view of just how little water remains in Lake Hylia. The entrance to the Water Temple lies in the depths of what’s left of Lake Hylia. We’ll be back for you later, Water Temple!



I was originally planning to do some fishing before moving on to the meat of today’s update, but due to some technical difficulties, I am unable. Under normal circumstances, when you play a song (of your own making) for Bonooru the Scarecrow as a child, Bonooru promises to remember it. When you come back as an adult and replay the song, Bonooru is delighted and Blondie learns “The Scarecrow’s Song” (whatever notes you played for Bonooru becomes The Scarecrow’s Song). From then on, whenever you play The Scarecrow’s Song, Pierre (the second scarecrow) will appear out of the ground. Blondie can then use him as a Hookshot target and get to a hard to reach area. Remember that area I highlighted way back in Dodongo’s Cavern? The area where Navi flew up and away and started turning green? Well, whenever Navi flies far away from you and turns green, 99% of the time that means that Pierre will appear if you play The Scarecrow’s Song. I played a song for Bonooru as a child, but when I came back and played the same song for him as an adult, he claimed not to remember it. This is the first time this has ever happened to me in all my years of playing Ocarina of Time. I went back in time and tried playing the song again and he promised to remember it. When I came back as an adult, he did not. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here. It may be some sort of bug I have never encountered before. It may have something to do with the fact that I’m playing an emulated version of the game. I honestly don’t really know.

But it doesn’t matter. While The Scarecrow’s Song is essential for getting all 100 Gold Skulltulas in the game, it is completely optional otherwise. It does mean that I’m going to have to wait until after I beat the Water Temple to go fishing, and that a certain Heart Piece is going to be unattainable until after the Water Temple. I’m not planning on getting all Gold Skulltulas and I am planning on beating the game, so this is only a temporary/minor setback in the grand scheme of things.

But enough about that! Let’s get down to it. The Trading Sequence. While Ocarina of Time wasn’t the first Zelda game to have a lengthy trading sequence in it, it is one of the more memorable ones. We already started the sequence several episodes ago when Blondie helped rouse Not Mario with one of Anju’s Pocket Cuccos. As a reward, Blondie was given ownership of Anju’s brother’s Cucco: the blue and silent Cojiro.



Anju’s brother sits sleeping in the same spot in the Lost Woods that we found the Skullkid as a child.







Cojiro manages to wake Anju’s Brother from his slumber. Apparently he was asleep for quite some time. Upon waking, Anju’s Brother is quite disoriented and pleads for Blondie to deliver something to some hag in a potion shop for no reason in particular. Well, Blondie’s a nice guy, so sure. We’ll do it.





Since this item “spoils quickly”, you’re only given three minutes to bring it to Kakariko Village. It’s important that you start this quest at the beginning of the day, because if you don’t, you can…



I’m sure it doesn’t matter. Let’s go Epona! We’ve only got 2 and a half minutes!

No, wait!

Doesn’t matter, huh?

Yeah, well…at least I’m not spending my Friday night sitting at home writing about a ten year old video game.

Dude.

That is not cool.

That is not cool at all.

I was just kidding! Fine, fine…this time I’ll use the Sun’s Song first to make sure it’s dawn when I begin the exchange.

Damn right you will.



See how much better this works? Behind the regular Potion Shop is another shop run by an old woman.







I wonder what she means by that?



Well, no matter. Let’s take this back to him right away.



Seems like these two have some sort of history. It’s never made explicitly clear what’s going on between them, but after we meet the next individual in the trading sequence, you can probably piece together just what is going on here.



A beautiful sunset, isn’t it? You know, at times I wonder just why the hell I’m doing this Let’s Play. It’s a metric crapton of work, and it drains the joy out of a game I love more than anything else on this earth. And for what? So I can make some sarcastic comments? Am I really that starved for attention?

I’m sure that has something to do with it on some level. But no, that’s not entirely it. It’s not to show how great I am at this game or how funny I am or even how much I know about it (especially considering that some of you have already proven me wrong at multiple points). It’s because I love this game. If OoT were a person, we’d be married. And if one night he beat me savagely after drinking too much, I’d say I fell down the stairs. I love this game to an downright unhealthy degree.

When I was younger, I was picked on a lot. I was fat and lazy (now I’m just lazy). I didn’t have a lot of friends. But I had Link. I had my adventures in Hyrule. I could ride around on Epona over rolling hills and look at the glorious sunset for hours. And I did. I made up my own adventures and took Link around Hyrule even after the game was beaten. It’s like what I was saying in my extremely self indulgent opening: you can lose yourself in this world. Now that we’ve got sandbox games like Grand Theft Auto and bigger and better Zeldas like Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, OoT feels “barren” and “lifeless”. It’s stilted. It’s old. It’s obsolete. It’s not as good as *insert other Zelda here* because *insert reason here*. Sure, fine. Whatever you say. Maybe there are better and bigger worlds to lose yourself in now. Maybe this game isn’t all that great anymore. But I still love it and I will always love it. It’s still awe inspiring to me to this day, and I hope that some of that comes across in this LP. If even one person walks away from this LP with an appreciation for it, then okay. Mission complete. Hopefully I’ve been keeping it interesting for you all as well.

And hopefully I can shut up and actually finish this damn trading sequence! Let’s get to the Lost Woods!



Um, care to elaborate?





Hee hee? The guy just turned into a Stalfos (probably) and you’re laughing? You’re even more of a dick than Mido, Blonde Pom Pom Hair!



And now you’re taking my medicine so you can go get high off of it? You are out of control, missy.



Sweet! A new weapon!



Man, you are just evil. Screw Ganon; we should fight this kid.

Shut up, man! I want to try this bad boy out! I bet I can cut a Stalfos in half with this thing!!



Umm…not quite. Even though it is a saw, it’s just a trading item like everything else. We’ll need to give this to the guy’s father, the Carpenter Boss (which, if you’re following along, makes Anju his daughter and his wife…uh, someone). To Gerudo Valley!

So your son is your…wife? Hmm. What the hell does that make Anju, then?

Inbred.

Nice.







A saw we can’t even use for one of the best items in the game? Yeah, that’ll work. The trading sequence isn’t over quite yet, though. As you can see, this sword is broken. Once it gets fixed, it will be a force to be reckoned with. But we’re still several steps away from that. Let’s warp to Death Mountain Crater and head to the peak to talk to Biggoron!





Meet Biggoron. Like his name implies, he is fairly big.









*sigh* Of course. Alright then, let’s head to Zora’s Domain and talk to the newly freed King Zora.



In theory, I could have just climbed down the mountain. But as you all know by this point, falling only does negligible damage and its much faster.

Negligible!? I just shattered both my ankles!

That’s negligible to me. Walk it off.



Even as you get far away from the peak, Biggoron remains visible (and his warbling cry remains audible). Who says the Nintendo 64 had terrible draw distance?

Well, okay…so maybe 90% of early-to-mid N64 games did have terrible cases of fog-of-war-itis. But not this one!

By the way, now that we have the hammer, we can break all the rocks that litter the Death Mountain Trail area. Who knows what Gold Skulltulas we might find!

Time warp!









This is going to be more timed b.s. isn’t it?

Oh, you don’t even know.



Alright, let’s do this!



Aaaaaaaand I just fell off the path at the exit to Zora’s Domain. That’s a good 30 seconds lost. No matter; we can still do this.







Aren’t we cutting it a bit close here?!





Since this is the first time we’ve entered Lake Hylia through its main entrance (instead of warping or using the Zora’s Domain shortcut), we’re treated to a lovely panoramic view of an empty lake. But this is no time for sightseeing! We’re running out of time!



22 seconds. Time to spare! Screw you, frog!





Uhoy hoy hoo houy hoy, indeed!

More timed crap? This is getting old.

It’s also the last step, and it’s considerably easier than any other run we’ve made thus far. Fun Fact: in case you’ve been wondering why I haven’t been using warp songs during the timed item runs, it’s because you can’t. The perishable items will immediately spoil if you use a warp song, forcing you to start over. Remember kids: cheaters never win and winners never cheat!









Booya! 55 seconds to spare!





*drop noise*



*drop noise*



Is this the most awesome moment in the entire game? No, but it is damn close.





It’s true, I can’t wait! And thankfully, we have The Sun’s Song so I don’t have to.





Oh hell yes. The Biggoron’s Sword behaves differently from the Master Sword in a number of ways. The main drawback to the sword is that it is too large to wield with one hand. This means that he cannot use his shield with Biggoron’s Sword. Hitting the shield button (the R button) with Biggoron’s Sword equipped has Blondie raise his arms to shield himself, which is completely useless. It will not stop a single attack in the game. But is funny, so that’s something.

Since Biggoron’s Sword is much bigger than the Master Sword, it has a much longer reach and deals roughly twice as much damage. As I mentioned in a previous episode, the Giant’s Knife is technically speaking stronger, but much more fragile. Biggoron’s Sword is only a tiny bit weaker and will never break, so it is definitely the better choice.

Also, Blondie looks like a total bad ass with it equipped.

Ocarina of Time is a fairly easy game to begin with, but having Biggoron’s Sword turns it into something of a joke. Enemies will cower with fear before you. It is truly and utterly gamebreakingly powerful.







As you can see here, Blondie’s sword strikes behave in the same manner as the Master Sword. They’re just way more bad ass looking now. I think this has been quite enough messing around. We have everything we need to tackle the Water Temple, so let’s get to it!



After equipping the Zora Tunic and the Iron Boots, Blondie uses his Hookshot to hit a target above this gate and enters the…



Next Time on A Brief History of Time: The moment I’ve been simultaneously dreading and waiting in anticipation for ever since I started this Let’s Play is finally here! The Water Temple awaits! Will you go insane from the ridiculously annoying puzzles? Or will the best midboss battle in any game ever blow your mind? Or both?! Find out next time!

Wowwwwwwwww indeed!

The hardest part of the trading sequence for me was just finding the potion shop.

A bit of advice for the trading sequence for anyone having trouble with the first part; the warp songs don't work, but the Lost Woods warps do. So when taking the Mushroom to Kakariko, you can shave about a minute off your time by taking the warp to Goron City and then heading down Death Mountain, giving you plenty of time to look for the Potion Shop if you don't know where it is.

For some reason the fact that written prescriptions exist in the Zelda universe is completely bizarre to me.

They've been there since the first one, though. There's only two reasons you would have to show a paper to the old lady to get medicine. Link's a winner, and if there's one thing video games have taught me it's that winners don't do drugs.

What, did you think you could simply walk into any shop and have them poor fluorescent colored panaceas in the same bottle in which you've been keeping insects, malevolent spirits, and dairy products? Hardly!

The Biggoron's Sword is fucking badass. That's all I have to say for now.

Uhoy hoy hoo houy hoy!

How do you even pronounce that one? Ho-uyh?

It's even more bizarre that he just had the prescription lying around and/or wrote it himself.

This right here is a good example of why I love this stuff. It's not too gimmicky, it's just gimmicky enough to be beautiful. Or I'm just weird. I'm not sure.


Also, for added badass-ness while using Biggoron's Sword, go get eaten by a like-like and lose the shield. It's really only a good idea if you don't intend to use the Master Sword much, though. Otherwise not having a shield can be a little troublesome.

It's always kind of bothered me that half of the trading sequence is to get a broken sword, when I ALWAYS already have because money is plentiful and I usually blow the cash on a giant's knife for the hell of it.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait:

You can get to the back room that way? I always, always went in through the back door. Using that stupid chicken and everything!

The best part about LPs is learning.

HA! That's funny. I knew about being able to cut through the main shop, but yeah, I went the long way over the fence for years.

(Incidentally, doesn't that mean you CAN do that at night?)

If I remember correctly, the Hag's Potion Shop closes at night as well but I could be wrong. I haven't used The Chicken Method� in years so I don't really recall. I was just making a point about how the regular Potion Shop closes at night and that might not leave you with enough time to get to the Hag's Shop otherwise.

Here it is. I’ve been waiting for this day since this whole LP started. This dungeon has been a long time coming. Volumes could be written about this dungeon. It is both awe-inspiring and irritating. Fun, but tedious. It is brilliant. It is awful. It is unique.

It is the Water Temple.

Each individual gamer has his or her own favorite Zelda dungeon or favorite Zelda game. Likewise, each gamer has that one dungeon or one game that they don’t particularly care for. But it’s rare that one dungeon can be so dividing. Some amongst the Zelda fanbase see the Water Temple as a brilliant, mind bending thrill ride. Others see it as a long, tedious, monotonous mess. Never before in the history of Zelda has a dungeon been so polarizing.

The truth is that the Water Temple is both. In today’s update, I plan on trying to highlight many of the brilliant moments as well as some of the more terrible ones.
It can be annoying, and it can be brilliant. It really depends on your opinion of what a Zelda dungeon should be. Personally, I don’t like it. But I appreciate it for what it is.



The dungeon starts off innocently enough, with two Blue Tektites. These two Tektites will continue to hassle Blondie throughout the entire dungeon. We'll be returning to this central area many times, and each time the Tektites will find a way to get over to Blondie. It's a bit annoying.



You can see in this screenshot that the Water Temple has areas to explore below the water’s surface. You know what that means, right?



If you’re playing along at home, expect to see this screen a lot. This is part of the reason why people hate the Water Temple. You have to constantly pause the game and take the Iron Boots on and off. Thankfully, in Ocarina of Time 2: Twilight Princess, Nintendo addressed these concerns. But in OoT, the decision to constantly take the Iron Boots off and on rubbed some gamers the wrong way.



There are three levels to the main area in the Water Temple, with a few basement areas hidden away as well. For now, the water goes all the way up to the third floor. The Iron Boots allow Blondie to explore the first floor with little difficulty.





A new enemy appears! Spikes are annoying, if only because the only weapon you can use underwater is the Hookshot. The Hookshot isn’t the most elegant weapon, and your mobility is severely reduced underwater (whereas Spikes are fairly fast), so Spikes can be a bit of a pain to deal with in large numbers.



Remember this block. We can only push it so far right now. We’ll need to find a way around to the other side.

Also, note the light reflecting off of the walls. The entire Water Temple gives off a bizarre shimmering light. Mysterious, isn’t it?

Just a few rooms away, Blondie bumps into an old friend.



Oh! Uh, hi! H-how…say…uh, you didn’t happen to…you know, forget those…





Yeah, of course not…



Y-yeah, sure! Sounds great!



Thanks for the tip. Those of you playing along at home, remember this well.



Okay, I’ll be right behind you…uh, dear!

Dear? Hahaha!

No. Nononononono! This isn’t happening. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

Oooooooh yes it is. Bwahahaha!!

We have to get out of here, Navi. We’re leaving.

But…what about the Zoras?!

They are popsicles, Navi. We need to get out of here now. Right now. I am not marrying a fish. Do you understand?! I AM NOT MARRYING A FISH!!!

Unfortunately, I have the final say in the matter. And I think you are.

Bwhahahahahaha!!! Oooooh man, this is too good. This has to be fattening!

Actually, I hear that laughing helps burn calories.

On our way up, Blondie passes a wall with a crack in it. A bomb could take care of that easily, but that won’t work underwater. Hmm. Water levels? An area that’s currently underwater but could be accessed if it wasn’t? I think I see what’s going on here.



This is the first of the water level changing…thingies. Just play Zelda’s Lullaby, and…



…the water level drops to its lowest level.



With the water level dropped, this torch somehow ignites itself. In the grand tradition of OoT puzzles, you must light the other torches in this room to proceed into the next room. But how to do that? Well, we can use Din’s Fire…but suppose you hadn’t picked it up yet. Then what?



Remember: think outside the box, folks.





I think Navi said everything I really need to cover about these guys.





A strong current flows in this room, making swimming extremely difficult. A switch is hidden in the mouth of the dragon in the first screenshot. Hitting it gives you a limited amount of time to swim (while fighting the current) to the right spot, put on your Iron Boots, and Hookshot through the gate. It sucks. It sucks a lot.



In the exact middle of the Water Temple lies our second water level changer plaque song thingamabob.



A Hookshot target? But it’s far too high to reach…



Well, our Bow can hit that eye target but there’s no way our Hookshot could reach. I’m sensing a pattern here.



The final water level changer dealie! Now we can finally bring the water back up to the highest level and go into…



…a locked door that we don’t have a key for.

Weren’t we going to go blow up a wall or something?

And that brings us to the most annoying aspect of the Water Temple: screwing up.

Blondie is right; the key we need is there. In order to access the room with the crack in the wall, the water must be at the second floor level…but the water is at the third floor level right now. We’re going to need to go all the way back and lower the water to the lowest level so we can get into the room with the second plaque, raise the water to the second floor, and then go get the key. Then we’ll have to reraise the water to the highest level…just to get back to where we are with a key.

Or, to put it in layman’s terms, we’re going back to do something so we can go somewhere to do something else so we can get to a room to get a thing so we can go and do another thing, just to get right back to where we are.

This is bullshit.

This is also where the great divide in the Zelda fanbase begins. Some people are all about this sort of puzzle solving. I am not. I enjoy Zelda puzzles, but the Water Temple is just a bit much. Some people are big fans of this kind of puzzle. You have to think of the entire Temple as one large, interactive puzzle rather than a series of smaller puzzles. That’s cool, but I don’t like that this dungeon punishes you for making a mistake by forcing you to go back and do the same b.s. you’ve already done.

Anyway, now that that’s all done, we’ve got a key and can go back through that door at the highest level.



This is just as annoying as it looks. Sure, climbing up a waterfall sounds cool…but not when it means that you’re going to be doing a ton of Hookshotting. At the end of the waterfall lies…



Oh you are not even serious right now.

Can we leave? You were right, Blondie.

Unfortunately, no you can’t. Alright…for the first time in this LP, let’s consult the map.

*gasp* *gasp*

I know, right?



Well…there’s the key we need. And it appears as though it’s in a path leading off of the central room. *sigh* Alright, let’s do this again.



After lowering the water level to the lowest level, and then going to raise it to the second floor level, a path opens up. Look underneath that red block. That’s very easily miss-able/where we need to go.



Huh? What is-



You know, I bet you get a kick out of doing this to me don’t you?

Yes. Yes I do.



Several rooms later, Blondie finds himself in this room. After raising and lowering a bunch of statues, Blondie finds himself face to face with…himself?!





Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Although a minor technical glitch completely ruins the mood, let's fight a great midboss!



A bit of Longshotting later, Blondie finds himself in another annoying room. If the vortexes and boulders don’t get you, the swarm of Tektites will.



Pfft, no they won’t. They’re weak!

Yeah, but you’re forgetting the half dozen times they knocked you over while you were trying to climb out of the water.

Yeah, well…so?



Straight from Jabu Jabu’s Belly comes a gigantic pack of Stingers! They’re just as annoying as ever.

Remember folks! Bomb-able walls come in all shapes and sizes!



Hitting a bomb-able wall makes a different sound, so be sure to check it out!



You already used that joke.

I think I used it in an earlier update, too.

You don’t have any shame, do you?

…no.

But anyway, all of Blondie’s hard work has finally paid off! Now there’s just one door that’s…



…locked.

Weren’t we supposed to shoot some eye switch somewhere?

DAMN IT I FORGOT







See? I told you that block was important.

Now, as I was saying…



…just one door between us and the Boss Key! We’re ready to take down the Water Temple’s insanely easy boss!





Click title to view video!

Video Summary: What can I say? This is just too easy. Ruto's a Sage too. What a shock!







Hooray!





Again, because she’s dead? Or because she’s a Sage? You decide!