A Brief History of Time (Ocarina of Time)

I've never heard of the sinking lure or the Loach, and I've played this game half a dozen times.

I've heard rumours about the loach, but I've never actually caught it before myself. Crazy!

The Loach is ridiculous. It takes literally hours to catch. The longest I've ever heard of it taking is about 3 hours. I did it less than an hour once, but that was years ago. Never again. NEVER.

It's back!

Oh hey, the loach. Man, can that thing ever fight.

So happy to see this LP back. It was one of my favorites.

Same here. I am looking forward to the next temple so hard.

I've never caught the fabled super-fish, but that's probably because fishing inside a video game seems even more boring than fishing in real life.

Even in Twilight Princess's lovely fishing hole, I'd much rather swim around and sight-see than sit in a boat and wait for a fish of significant size to show up.

Do you really have to get the fire arrows? I thought there was always some kind of torch or secret way to get around it if you missed them? Or maybe I'm thinking of Din's Fire. I'm pretty sure one or both of them is skippable. I'm sure you'll show us.

Oh, and WELCOME BACK! I missed this LP. Missed it hard.

I think you need to get Din's Fire to enter the shadow temple, because you have to light roughly 20 torches in a short time to open the first door. There could be another way, though.

And yeah, I was following this LP when I was lurking, but by the time I joined up your computer had already gone kaput. I'm glad you're still going through with it, though, because I'm a die hard Majora's Mask guy who never personally played OoT until long after it came out, so I like seeing someone replay it who's coming from a different perspective.

Also, I think I've gotten the sinking lure once, but never the Loach. Speaking of fishing hole easter eggs, are you going to try and steal the owner's hat?

Also as for the fish which seem to be as dense as cotton candy, I wonder if the Japanese version gave their weight in Kg, but NoA replaced it with pounds without actually changing the numbers? 45 pounds still seems kind of light for a fish that huge, but it'd be much closer.

Note: you may have noticed (if you're really paying attention) that the number of Heart Pieces/Containers I've shown getting collected does not add up to the number of hearts I have. That's because there is a Heart Piece on the top of the Lakeside Labratory that I neglected to show. It can be obtained by riding a Magic Bean Leaf to the roof of the Labratory (way back I did show Blondie planting that bean as a child). I took a screenshot of Blondie collecting it during my intial, pre-PC-Meltdown playthrough and I thought I put it in my last pre-Meltdown update. As such, I thought screenshotting it again was unnecessary. But upon further review, I did not include that screenshot in my last pre-Meltdown update. So...uh, yeah. I'm really professional, you know? All you really need to know is that, for those of you playing along at home, don't forget to pick that Heart up as an adult.

With just two Temples left to conquer, Blondie and Navi have decided to search for the probable Sage of Shadow, Impa. If you talk to some NPCs throughout the game, they will mention that Impa is the chief of Kakariko Village. Let's head to Kakariko and see if we can find her.



Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Blondie races to Kakariko Village to find Impa, a probable Sage. But all is not well! A monster has broken free from the, er, well and is attacking the Village!

Alright let's go get that thing! It came from the well, so clearly we need to head down...



...into...the...hmm.

Well, you're not entirely off base Blondie. We do need to head into the well...just not at this time. Wink wink nudge nudge.

Awww not again!

I'm afraid so.







Playing the warp song Sheik taught us places Blondie on a previously unreachable area in Kakariko Graveyard.



Down this tunnel lies the Shadow Temple...but we're not quite ready for that yet. Let's head to Kakariko proper for now.

Here you go.



Um...also, just ignore the fact that my emulator is making some of the graves see-through.



Thankfully, in the future, you taught it to us. If this were an episode of Star Trek, Spock would be telling us not to play it since it may do irreparable damage to the timeline.

But screw that noise; this is Zelda. Irreparable damage to the timeline is this game's whole thing.





Playing the Song of Storms causes the windmill in Kakariko Village to spin faster, which somehow causes the well to drain as well.

And if you're like me and using Project64 to play this game, it will cause your game to freeze! Thankfully, there's a very simple workaround. Play the Song of Storms inside the windmill during the day. As you can see in these screenshots, I tried doing it at night and for whatever reason, that makes Project64 go kerplunk. But during the day? Fuggedaboutit.



I love you, Zelda Writing Staff.

Now that the Well of Three Features has been drained, we can finally explore the...

Apparently Navi can talk to ghosts for some reason that's never clearly explained.

Well I am a fairy.

I didn't know that was something fairies could do.

In ages past, some civilizations used to believe that fairies would kidnap and eat babies, and leave fairy babies to impersonate the kidnapped humans.

That's...wonderful. Now as...

They were called Changelings due to their ability to change their shape! You know, there's one legend that was passed down that says that I could even be a fallen angel!

Yeah...I don't know if...

Yeah, it's kind of intense! You see, the legend went that the angels of Heaven revolted against God. Some joined forces with the Devil, and others wandered aimlessly. As a result, God ordered the gates of Heaven closed. Those who were in Hell became Demons and served Satan. Those in Heaven stayed Angels and continued to serve God. And those who were stuck in between became fairies!

Hey, that's great! You know what, though? Maybe you shouldn't talk anymore. This LP is about Zelda, not fairies.

What are you yelling at me for, anyway? You wrote all of this. And you just copied 99% of it from Wikipedia anyway.












�




Do not adjust your monitor. Yes, Blondie is walking through this wall. It's a not-so-clever illusion.



Blondie finds himself in a small, circular dungeon. In the immediate area is a pool with a small, crawl-able hole in it. If only there was some way to drain the water...



Can you guess what we need to do here?



If you guessed play Zelda's Lullaby to lower the water level, then you proceed to the next bit of sarcastic, self indulgent Zelda fan wankery.

If you guessed anything else, go back to page 1 of the thread and reread this Let's Play because seriously it is sooooo obvious.



Mid boss time. Bloody hands coming out of the ground? Yeah, this is going to be just swell.



The only way to make the Dead Hand appear is by letting one of those creepy hands grab you.



Here's a better look at the Dead Hand. Looks like something out of Silent Hill, doesn't it?

Not really. It doesn't have any features that represent my years of repressed anger or desire.

Dead Hand's weak point is his gigantic set of teeth. Sure, he may be staring at the ceiling now but as he gets closer...



He brings it down to attack. You've just got to hit him before he can hit you.



Once you've hit him, Dead Hand will disappear in a cloud of dust. Let another hand grab you and he will reappear.

Then, repeat the whole process until truly well and dead. Add salt to taste.



As a reward for the extremely easy battle with Dead Hand, Blondie receives the Lens of Truth. The Lens will let Blondie see through magical illusions, like the false wall at the beginning of the dungeon. The Bottom of the Well is an extremely small dungeon, only requiring a handful of rooms to be entered in order to find the key item (the Lens). Since we've already got the Lens, we're ready to leave. But a great deal of hidden treasures can be found in the Well. The Well is a great place to practice using the Lens since there are a ridiculous number of false walls in it.



Hell, there's even a hidden chest in the Dead Hand room. I'm not going to walk you all through it, though. Get out there and explore!



One brief highlight from the rest of the Well before we move on. The Bottom of the Well marks the first appearance of a classic Zelda enemy, the Gibdo. Also known as OHDAMNITTHOSEFLIPPINGMUMMIES from the original Zelda, the Gibdo behaves exactly the same as the ReDeads we have encountered previously. But they look cooler than ReDeads, so that counts for something, right?



Now that we have the Lens of Truth, let's do what we do best. Let's cheat!



The treasure chest minigame in Hyrule Castle Town is simple. You'll enter a room with two chests. One has a rupee, the other has a key that lets you go into the next room. You always have a 50/50 chance of proceeding forward. It's entirely possible to guess and make it all the way through. You can use save states and get all the way through. Or you can cheat the...er, legitimate way.



Presto...



Change-o! Thanks, Lens of Truth!



The prize money keeps going up the further you go...but we don't want any lame rupees. We're here for the big prize.





Five more to go! We're done in the present, so let's head back to the future (ha!).



Before we warp to the Shadow Temple, let's head to the Skulltula House. We've got over 40 tokens at this point, so there should be another reward for us.



Pfft! Bombchus? Whatever, man.

Back in Kakariko Graveyard, the entrance to the Shadow Temple lies sealed. Torches, eh?





Behold! One of the few times in the game that Din's Fire is actually useful!



And away we go. The Shadow Temple is a bit hard to talk about. On the one hand, all of it's puzzles are really easy to solve so I want to hate it. But on the other hand, there are a lot of strange enemies and bizarre traps that will whittle down your health if you're not careful. It's a very dark and gloomy place, and like all of the Temples before it, it's great at conveying a specific kind of atmosphere. So it's a tad difficult (plus), has a nice and gloomy feel to it (plus), but it's simplistic and a tad boring as a result (minus). So the end result is...positive, I guess? I dunno. Let's just get through it so we can get to the somewhat better Spirit Temple, and then to the truly awesome parts of the game.



Gee, I wonder which one is the Skull of Truth?





Congratulations! You've just solved every puzzle in this entire dungeon!

No, seriously. EVERY puzzle basically amounts to two steps.

Step 1: Turn on the Lens of Truth.

Step 2: Oh. Duh. That's easy!



OH LUK A FLASE WAL THUS DUNGIN IZ HRD



Really? Come on, now. Do you see how big this sword is? Are they even serious right now?



Mmwhthfuhff!!!

Yeah, looks pretty serious.



Whatever; we've got this. We beat this guy with a pocket knife and then give him seven years to come up with a new strategy and all he's got is "more hands"? Gimme a break.



Your reward for re-beating the Dead Hand is a new pair of boots! The Hover Boots allow Blondie to walk over gaps without falling for a brief period of time (about a second). They also eliminate any traction Blondie might have, which will come into play with a few puzzles from now until the end of the game.



Trust the Boots!� That's been my motto since 1998 and so far things have turned out alright.



See? Trust is important in relationships and in boot wearing. Nothing else though. Those are the only two things.



I've never noticed that these things have mouthes on the bottom before. Ten years and I've never noticed that. Maybe I need new glasses?

Silver rupee collecting puzzle. Scythe bad. Omg thiz iz soe hrd stil i dunt no wut 2 doe



Aww, he likes you! He just wants to give you a big ol' hug!



Protip: the petrifying gaze of the ReDead and Gibdo can freeze you mid jump attack. But hey, it makes for some awesome screenshots!



Well this looks just lovely, doesn't it?

No prob. Just gotta time my jump so...



RUN AWAY!!!!







Immediately after making the jump, a Stalfos will appear and try to push you off the edge. As you can see here, Blondie almost bought the farm. Each time I would try to climb up, the Stalfos would knock me off again and I would fall further away from the ledge. The only way I was able to hang on was to do a jump attack while falling by pressing B in midair in order to move back towards the ledge. Doing this would get me in a position where I could grab the ledge again and try climbing up one more time. I tried to grab as many screenshots as I could because it was insanely bad ass, but these are the best shots of the action I got. Kinda lame I know, but trust me: it was awesome.



Pfft, this is eas-

Remember The Steps.



Ah, right.



Where the hell will w-

STEPS





Right...



Didn't we do this in Goron City?

Yes, only now it's not optional.



The fans in this halfway will push Blondie into the spikey things if you're not careful. The Iron Boots can negate their wind effects, but at the cost of reduced movement.

In this room, you have to put on the Hover Boots and use the wind one of the fans generates to propel yourself through a false wall.



You also have to watch out for the thing that shoots fire.



You mutha fugga!

I <3 this picture so much.



Let's go for a boat ride! A Triforce symbol, eh? If you haven't figured out what you're supposed to do here then...really, come on. I already did this earlier in the update. You still haven't figured it out?





*obligatory "I'm on a boat" reference goes here*

All aboard the HMS Stalfos!

Why do they call it the-



*sigh*

Yup.

Fun fact: I killed one of the two Stalfos that attack you on the boat by knocking him off the boat. Can you defeat the Stalfos without killing them? Try it! It's more fun than you might think.



Abandon ship! Heroes and grown men first!



This is Blondie's "I'm dying" animation.

It's also Blondie's "Oh man I should not have had that second burrito" animation.



Now you don't see it...



Now you do! Are you getting sick of this dungeon yet?



Behold! Our 50th Gold Skulltula! Our final prize awaits us once we finish the Shadow Temple!



Spike walls, huh? Welcome to the second time Din's Fire is useful in this game!



The Boss Key lies in this room. We should be getting close then, eh?



Need a bridge across a huge river?

Well then make one! All you need are some well placed bombs, some arrows, and a sociopathic disposition!



OH NOE THUR IZ NU GROWND



OIC

Well, now that we've turned the Lens on and off roughly 90,000 times, it's time for a boss fight.





Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Blondie faces his greatest foe yet: a set of disembodied hands named after new wave band Oingo Boingo! After the nefarious hands are defeated, infamous tit-rubber Impa awakens as a Sage and gives Blondie yet another of those MacGuffin medallion thingys.

Before we head for the desert, let's collect our last reward from the Skulltula family...



A Piece of Heart! Four to go!



Since we've only killed half of the Gold Skulltulas out there, the head of the family remains transformed. Killing the last 50 Gold Skulltulas will net you...a huge rupee! Wow! Who cares? Money is absolutely useless in this game, so getting all 100 Skulltulas is kind of pointless. Due to time constraints and overall laziness, I won't be getting all 100...but I recommend you get 50 just so you can get the Heart Piece. It isn't hard to do. I never went out of my way to get any and, well, here we are.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time: With Kakariko Village back to normal and Impa awakened as a Sage, there's only one thing left for us to do before heading to Ganondorf's lair for the big showdown. Blondie must venture deep into the desert and find the hidden Spirit Temple. Thankfully, we've already gained access to the desert by becoming an honorary Gerudo, and by beating the Shadow Temple we now have all the tools necessary to get through the desert's treacherous traps and tricks. Bring your sunscreen; this one's gonna get hot.

Holy crap! My mind is blown.

I think the Beamos statues only have mouths in the Shadow Temple. I sure as shit have never noticed them before.

It looks like the texture on the eyeball section is a bit different too. He's got a sort of "diseased rotting flesh" look about him.

Beamos in Ocarina just have teeth. That's factual.


The Stalfos in the big room with the pits and guillotines will occasionally kill himself by making a flourishing, dramatic leap right into the abyss. I hate Stalfos in this game, but I love their inability to cope with uneven footing.


It actually nets you infinite huge Rupees. Unfortunately, zero times infinity is still zero.

You can also use fire arrows to burn the spiked walls down.

Gibdos have more health than ReDeads, I think. Setting one on fire turns it into a ReDead.

...OH ICK

For being so family friendly, Nintendo is really good at putting the perfect creepy touch in a game when they feel like it.

woah

huh

what

I know that's how it worked in Majora's Mask, anyway. Try hitting one with a fire arrow.

pretty sure that's right in OoT. I seem to remember using Din's Fire on a roomful of them, and that certainly wasn't in MM.

Actually zero times infinity is usually indeterminate, but you can count infinity in this case, so you technically are correct.

- Eddie

edits: too many to count. I should just not talk about math.

Thank you, Eddie. Makes sense that a math junkie is LPing FFTactics, huh?


The Bottom of the Well is such a dreary place, all full of invisible time-wasting pitfalls and that roving Green Bubble that always manages to blindside me from around a corner. The last time I played the game, I wasn't going for all one hundred Skulltulas, and it felt incredibly liberating when I got the Lens and ran around for about a minute before realizing, "Wait...I can just leave!"

You are stronger than I. I've never tried to get all the Skulltulas, but I simply can't move on if I happen to hear one nearby. It's like that with any game. I almost never try to 100% any game, but I also can't skip something if I know it's there. It's an illness. It nearly kills me in Metroidvanias.

I love the Well for this reason. There's other puzzles to solve and rewards to get, but it's all entirely optional. So you can just move on to the real dungeon if you want, or if you're really into it, you can go grab all the optional stuff. Flexibility in a game? Hell yes please.

As for the infinite rupees thing, yes you're right. There's another way to get infinite rupees too, but as I always say, rupees are pointless in this game. By the time you've gathered 100 Gold Skulltulas, you don't need infinite rupees. Hell, you never need infinite rupees. IMO, there is no real appreciable reward for getting all 100.

Also, just to give you all a rough idea of what I'm planning, here's the schedule for the rest of my updates:

Episode 21 will see Blondie traverse the Haunted Wasteland and the first half of the Spirit Temple.

Episode 22 will cover the second half of the Spirit Temple, and the Gerudo Training Ground.

Episode 23 will cover the trials, as well as ascending the tower.

Episode 24 will cover the Ganondorf fight and the escape sequence.

Episode 25 will cover the Ganon fight. Yes, just that one fight. It's that important and 99% of the reason why I wanted to do this LP in the first place.

Episode 26 will cover the finale and anything else I want to throw in there.

Some of these will be longer than others, so you may see a few updates appear closer together than normal. I'm already done with 21 (just need to wrap up some things) and 22 and 23 are nearing completion. Just FYI.

Alixsar, I just wanted to let you know that this LP has inspired me to go back and actually finish Twilight Princess (well, this LP and the fact that my 360 is broken).

Can't wait to see the rest.