A Brief History of Time (Ocarina of Time)

Ah, I knew there was some line like that. To think the folklore refers to a Hyrule guard currently hanging out just across the way seems like a huge stretch to me, though.


And then there's this, which I'd forgotten! Good lookin' out.

This was pretty much my take on it as well, though I took it to mean she died before awakening. Also, I thought most of the sages died before awakening as a sage. They often go after the boss of the dungeon before you, but the boss is still there when you reach it.

I kind of thought this was implied, too, but it doesn't really jive with the maidens parallel from LttP I thought they were going for. But then they do have spirits as sorta sages in WW, so I don't know.

I don't take the "the Sages all died" argument as the absolute truth, but I don't really have a problem with it, either. Aside from the fact that you'd expect at least one of them to mention having died (and you definitely see Nabooru alive right before Twinrova), it's plausible.

Wait, what does Mido say?

And it seems like there's evidence for the eye being the poe guy's and the poe guy being the guard, but those two things don't gel really.

If he's cool, Alix will show you!

In two weeks.

I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your video LP delivery. You don't feel the urge to fill every second with babble; as much as I love DeceasedCrab's LP work, that habit of his drives me nuts. Thanks for this!

You are correct, sir!

To be perfectly honest, I do too. I had more fun writing this particular update than any since the first. The problem is...

This. With Zelda, there's hardly any dialogue or much of a plot. There's only so many silly comments I can make about running around doing fetch quests. So it's kind of a necessary evil, even if it's a bit hackneyed at times. I feel like I want to craft Blondie into a unique character, but the problem is that I have no experience writing like that so he usually just ends up being a string of random asides in Green. Which is still kind of entertaining, but not in the way I want it to be. I have this terrible, horrible, self indulgent plan for what I'm going to do to the Water Temple, but I'm not sure if I'm going to go through with it. I'm either going to nix the whole thing and stay away from Blonde/Navi talk forever, or keep using it. I can't decide.

Then again, maybe I'm just overacting. I'm a perfectionist, and the fact that I've created something that I'm not satisfied with is gnawing away at my soul.

Okay, so why is it that when [Darunia becomes a Sage, he starts pounding his chest and smiling? And Ruto starts talking about how she still wants to do him? etc. None of the other Sages react in this way] except Saria. It's possible it's just her way of reacting to the circumstances, but it's puzzling that she's the only one who reacts in such a way. You can't even argue that it's because she has feelings for Blondie, since [Ruto (and possibly Nabooru)] does too.

Or later tonight. More likely tomorrow though. The next update isn't going to be terribly long so it shouldn't take too long to write up. I'll go talk to the guard and the hag for you all. It's been a while since I've ever bothered talking to the hag (I almost always skip the fourth bottle when I play) so I completely forgot all of this.

Oddly enough, I did remember the bit about the Lens of Truth, but kudos to McClain for beating me to it.

Now that I think of it, this is true...but the reason why I said that before is because I'd have to do some work in the pre-Fire Temple and pre-Water Temple areas before I could completely finish it. I don't want to show those areas off partially for the trading sequence and then come back to them later. I'm trying to keep the "correct" order of playing the game in place as much as possible.

Except for the next update, which is going to be wildly inappropriate.

This is also true...but I'm trying really hard to give Nintendo some sort of justification for this song other than the fact that you learn a warp song for all of the Temples for no apparent reason.

But anyway, I'm glad you all enjoyed the Forest Temple. Like I said, more will be coming soon.

Different characters, different personalities. Ruto just had kind of a wacky crush on Blondie, although when the time comes, she, too, acknowledges that he won't be able to be her husband after all. Nabooru is just naturally flirtatious. Meanwhile, Saria and Blondie were childhood friends, and you can infer it pretty much broke her heart when he finally left the forest.

I guess. It still seems really bizarre to me, though. I mean, even if you accept your role and you're sad etc., why start speaking in third person? It's just a little bizarre to me.

Re: the "are the Sages dead?" question. I'll give my thoughts on that in the Fire Temple update.

Oh, and I thought of another reason to not finish the trading sequence yet: I need to show you all the Secret Best Weapon in the Game� before I get the Actual Best Weapon in the Game�.

Saria calling herself "Saria" is probably a translation error, like you said -- or, rather, an oversight in localization. In Japanese, it's common for young children to refer to themselves in the third person, but the same obviously isn't true in Western culture.

I'm not sure if Saria actually uses this speech pattern in the Japanese script, but it would be my first guess. And if that's the case, it's possible Owsen wasn't clear on who it was that was saying "Saria" in that scene. (Although we know, since we can play the game in its finished form and not on a deadline, that all of the "black text on white background" parting lines consist of the Sages speaking to Blondie.)

For what it's worth, I think you are doing a hellofa job on this LP. I've played this game a ton, so it's impressive when you (A) teach me something and (B) entertain me through the grindy parts I kind of can't stand anymore. And you've done both, a lot.

Back on Saria, I think that her reaction jives with her personality based on the (heartbreaking) scene on the bridge as you leave the forest for the first time. Fish-girl is a bubbly slut, and the Goron reminds me of a pro wrestler, but Saria is somehow more real/honest in that she seems not exactly happy about the turn of events, but just kind of quietly accepts her destiny.

It feels a bit like something out of a melodramatic anime, but I think it works.

(I'm still giving massive benefit to my "unseen dialogue" theory, based on Link being silent and older games implying lots more conversation than we see).

Great LP. I really hope you do a paragraph for each temple's musical theme, like you did for this one. The music in Ocarina's temples are really special and deserve such treatment.

Are you playing the version with the original Fire Temple music?

I haven't played that far yet, but chances are that this is the green-blood/non-Muslim-ified version. I don't know for sure though.

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'll definitely be covering this in the LP later*, so don't worry.

*In the paragraph about the Fire Temple's music. Which yes, IssunBug, I will do. I was planning on it all along since, as you mentioned, it is SO IMPORTANT to each dungeon. ...uh, except maybe the Spirit Temple.

Since you're playing it on an emulator, then you'd want to make sure the rom was ripped from the first run (mostly the gold cartridge versions); it would be labeled version 1.0 rather than 1.1 or 1.2. Versions 1.1 and 1.2 kept the moon symbols on the blocks (they were dropped from the various Gamecube ports), but lost the chanting in the Fire Temple and turned the blood green, as well as fixing a few obscure bugs. The save files might be compatible, though.

I had a grey cart, but I got the red blood/etc. I forget how you got a gold cart for OoT (preorder maybe?), but I definitely got it that first holiday it came out.

The very first print run of the grey carts also had version 1.0 software.

Now that the Forest Temple has been freed from the…uh…well, did we actually do anything to the Forest Temple? If you go back to it, it’s still a fairly grimy place. We did awaken Saria as a Sage and got a bitchin’ green coin for our troubles, but did we really accomplish anything else?

Let’s visit Kokiri Village and find out!



Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Now that the Deku Tree lives again in the form of the Deku Tree Sprout, Kokiri has reverted back to a pedophile’s wonderland. It seems like Blondie’s actions actually have accomplished something! But, all is not well. Blondie has to break the news of Saria’s departure to an old “friend”.

With all of our business done, it’s time to leave Kokiri and head off towards the next dungeon. But first, it’s time to address some issues that were brought up after my last update.

And then after that we’re gonna go fight some desert witches for no good reason.



Now that we have the Fairy Bow, we can use it while riding Epona. There’s no real purpose for it except for two of the most infuriating minigames in the entire game. Let’s start one of them, shall we?



Back in What Used to Be the Pot Filled Room of Goodness is this mysterious gentleman. Some of you readers feel that this hag is the same person as the guard who stayed in this very spot when Blondie was a child. Before we look at the evidence, let’s see what he has to say.





It would seem that not only can the hag read minds, but he’s some sort of wannabe prostitute too. Talk about multi-talented!



As I briefly explained before, the hag will pay us 30 rupees for any regular Poe we defeat and capture in a bottle. But, there is another special kind of Poe that he will pay 50 rupees for. Now that we’ve initiated conversation with him and have Epona and the Fairy Bow, we have everything we need in order to capture one.



After you speak to the hag, riding Epona around Hyrule Field in certain areas will spawn this: a Big Poe. Big Poes only appear when you’re on horseback, so the Fairy Bow is an absolute necessity in order to take them down.



A handful of arrows will take one down. The difficult part about capturing Big Poes is that there is a very small area where each one will appear. You can approach each area from any direction, but as soon as you begin to leave the ghost’s “active” area, they will disappear and you will need to start all over again.

IT IS A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS







Fortunately, the reward you get is not the hag’s wannabe prostitute services.

Once you sell all 10 Big Poes to the hag, you will be rewarded with the game’s fourth bottle. I swore that I would not do this since it’s a huge pain in the ass…but I still might. My initial reasoning was to keep this LP from dragging on too long by spending the time to find the Big Poes, but hell, it’s been three months already and we aren’t even at the Fire Temple. I am pretty lazy though so I might still not bother. We’ll see.

In order to test and see if the hag is indeed the guard from this same room, we’ll need to travel back in time. This can be done by putting the Master Sword back in the Pedestal of Time.

You might be wondering how exactly this makes Blondie go back in time. After all, the only reason why he was sent forward in time seven years in the first place is because Blondie was too young to be the Hero of Time. The sword itself didn’t do anything. So what exactly does putting the sword back in the pedestal in the future accomplish? Well, it’s simple. The answer is that…uh, don’t think about it. It can just do that sort of thing for no clearly explained reason. A few haphazardly explained reasons, yes. But no clearly explained ones.



As soon as we cross the Door of Time, we are greeted by Sheik’s enormous emo bang.

After explaining everything I just said, Sheik teaches Blondie a song to warp to the Temple of Time. We’ll never really need this, but it will certainly help when we need to return here later in the game.



This time, instead of throwing a Deku Nut, Sheik throws some sort of light-filled Deku Nut. Get it? Because we just learned the Prelude of Light? So he throws a light bomb or something? Pretty cool, huh? No it isn’t.



Well, it’s worth a try.



OH



SHIIIIIIIIII-



Aaaaand we’re back. I always thought it was a bit silly that Blondie doesn’t just put the sword back in the pedestal, he impales the damn thing. Is that really necessary, big guy?

Now that Blondie is a kid again, let’s go talk to the Pot Room of Justice’s guard at night and see if Kishi’s theory holds up.



Well, that solves that mystery.





I kid, I kid. But it does seem the guard is an avid ghost fan. That’s still not very conclusive, though.



Hmm. Now why does this sound familiar?



Well, it could just be a massive coincidence. It’s certainly probable that the hag and this guard are the same individual…but this isn’t exactly concrete evidence. I’ll leave it up to you all to decide.

Wait! Wait just a minute!



He’s obviously down with prostitution, right? And look at those hot pants he wears as a guard! No, I take it back. Not only is this the same individual, but I’ll bet he’s running a prostitution ring out of the Holy Room of Pottery. I bet that’s where all the rupees in the pots are from! They’re his ill-gotten earnings! They’re the rupees he used to open up his Ghost Shop in the future! It all fits!

So, I guess you guys were right. The old hag is a ghost loving prostitute guardsman in hot pants. Now that that’s settled, we can move on to more important things.

Pfft, no. I mean like heading to my favorite area in the game, and the last pseudo-stealth sequence we’ll have to deal with for the rest of the game.



Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Let’s sequence break! We technically don’t need to head here until, oh, three+ dungeons from now…but screw it! Let’s save some carpenters!



Just inside the door Blondie entered at the end of the video is a jail cell with one of the four carpenters inside. As Blondie approaches it, a guard appears out of nowhere and attacks him. You’ll be able to see more of this in the last video in today’s update. Just remember that if Blondie gets hurt too much, he’ll get thrown back in jail and you’ll need to backtrack back to wherever it was you were defeated.

After fighting his way through multiple rooms and freeing two more prisoners, Blondie finds himself outside the ”last” room of the Gerudo’s Fortress. I put last in quotation marks because this “dungeon” can be beaten in any order. Blondie can free the carpenters in any order and go to any area at any time. I think that’s part of the reason why I like this area so much. While the rest of the dungeons have a preset solution that needs to be followed, this one lets you cut loose. And although it’s a stealth section like the garden from much earlier in the game, this area lets you be incredibly proactive (by putting guards to sleep). The fights with the cell guards are pretty fun, if a bit easy. And while there is a consequence for failure (getting put in jail again) it’s not so condemning as to be frustrating. Developers, take note. This is how you do a stealth section in a non-stealth game.



Click title to view video!

Video Summary: Blondie heads off to fight the last guard and free the final carpenter. A sick sounding Alex tries to talk but his cold isn’t going down without a fight. Excitement is in the air as the dungeon draws to it’s extremely, uh, anti-climatic finale!



Getting the Membership Card allows us to enter this optional dungeon. The reward for beating it is the entirely optional Ice Arrows! They don’t really do much…but they are pretty awesome, so you can bet your bottom dollar we’ll be picking them up. Unfortunately, as we’re equipped now, we don’t stand a chance in hell of being able to finish this dungeon. But we’ll be back.

Around the back of the Fortress is the Horseback Archery range. Blondie can pick up a few new pieces of equipment here. It’s going to prove pretty difficult to pull off with my hypersensitive Dual Shock. I’m going to have to do it at some point, I suppose. What say you Talking Time? Should we do it now or save it for later?

Next Time on A Brief History of Time: Okay, now it’s time to get ready for the Fire Temple. You know what that means, right? Right! A whole update full of nothing but sidequests and minigames! Hurray…?

Reader's Note: The Reader Contest is over and…uh, it was a bit depressing. I left the question as open ended as humanly possible in the hopes that I’d get a lot of submissions but that was not the case. JCDenton sent in a lovely story and…uh, well…that was it. He was the only submission. I’m a bit depressed that it didn’t go over better, but well, what can you do? I was going to incorporate it into this update but I have plans for later tonight and wanted to get this update out the door before I left. So JCDenton’s winning entry will be featured in the next update. Congratulations, JC!

Yay JC.

It's not that there was a lack of interest; JC just guaranteed he was the only horse in the race through violence, intimidation, and bribery.

Aliases: The Snake, the Wild Man, the Ten-Cent Pilgrim, Jessie Christie, and Harvey Dent.

I'd like to apologize to everyone in advance for the self-indulgence featured in my entry; as the friend who reviewed it after submission noted, it's really more telling about me and my lack of restraint/editing skills than Zelda. Please don't judge too harshly, I just really like the series.

Uh, what I meant to say was, a win by default is still a win. Suck it, everyone!

And Kishi, I thought you knew what happens to snitches.

I'm not going to lie, the side-quests/minigames updates are my favourite. It's much funner to see all of the cool side missions that you didn't know about!

And yeah, you should do the Archery range right now.

Dude, I totally should have entered the reader contest, but I just spaced on it! I suck.

EDIT:
Hey, check this out

I feel like I'm being enlightened. My young(er) self glossed over all but the barest of OoT's details, so -- strangely enough -- most of this feels new to me. Thanks Alixsar!
I can remember sitting in and around the fortress just to hear the area's sweet, sweet music. I was always so sad when I had to leave...

Hello everyone. Sorry but there won't be a real update today. I cranked out last week's update early in the hopes that I would be able to make two updates last week, but alas, that did not happen. To put things simply, shit got real at work so I had to work a few extra days/longer days than usual. The sole exception was this past Thursday. See, I finally got my diploma earlier in the week and I needed to go out and celebrate, so I bought a bunch of tickets to the San Jose Sharks vs. Nashville Predators game. I ended up blowing a lot of money but it was a fantastic day. It obviously set this LP back a bit, though. For that, I apologize...but the stress at work and the fact that I've finally graduated and hadn't celebrated yet was gnawing away at me. I pretty much had to do it.

But work is...well, better this week (still not good but whatever), so hopefully I can get some work on this LP done. My goal is to do all the pre-Fire Temple stuff and finish playing the Temple before the end of the week, and then have the Fire Temple be next week's update. Today's update has a special purpose.

First of all, comrade-in-arms le geek has written an article for GameSpite, which you should all check out. Not only does it use some of the images I took for this very LP, but it's a quality read too! That's a one-two punch of awesome right there.

Secondly, I previously mentioned that JCDenton was the winner of the not-so-well received contest I started. A PM will be sent to JC shortly so I can mail him his spectacular winnings. But, what of the piece he wrote? I promised that the winner would see his work put in my thread. And that is the second reason for this mini-update.

I really like JC's piece. Although he won be default (since no one else submitted an entry), I think this may have been the winning entry anyway. A lot of his thoughts (and le geek's while we're at it) mirror my own. Zelda is truly a wonderful and special franchise, and I'm glad to be able to LP it for you all. I do hope you're all enjoying it. But whatever; this entry isn't about me.

Let's not put it off any more. When JC sent his entry to me, he said it was in need of an editor. So, I took it upon myself to edit it a bit. But it's remained mostly intact, and I think it's a damn fine piece of work. So, ladies and gentlemen, here is the (somewhat edited) work of Talking Time's own JCDenton:



The Legend of Zelda is, quite simply, gaming itself. The nostalgia and affection I hold for the series is unmatched not only in the medium, but probably in all entertainment. Some may say this makes me an unabashed fanboy, incapable of rational criticism. While there may be an element of truth to this, I would never trade my powerful formative experiences for any alleged objectivity.

My story begins in a somewhat unorthodox place. I do not have fond recollections of the NES original, having been born a few years too late to partake in its glory. To this day, I have shamefully not completed Link’s maiden voyage or even put any significant time towards that end. Nor was my first home console, a Super Nintendo, graced by Link's exploits. I have vague memories of seeing it played on my neighbor's SNES, but nothing stands out.

In 1994, my parents left for a week long vacation in the English countryside. My brother and I were left in the care of our grandparents. Whatever possessed them to bring us to Circuit City and buy us an original gray Gameboy with Link's Awakening pack-in, I'll never know. But I'm eternally grateful nonetheless.

Being a stupid seven-year-old, I did not comprehend the importance of the gift. I wanted Mario, dammit, and not knowing anything about Zelda, tried to convince my benefactors that it was too violent for us kids. One awkward conversation with the cashier later, they determined it was just fine. I was stuck with one of my favorite games of all time.

Much like sex, the first experiences were halting and awkward. Generally unlike sex, a large part of this was due to the fact that I was in second grade. I wandered around the starting village, talking to its quirky inhabitants and being repeatedly informed that rocks were too heavy to lift. Advances were made slowly. Stumbling into an area with enemies, I retreated hastily to the town, being too scared to continue down that road. When it became apparent that conquering my fear of the bullet pigs was the only course of action available, I ran as fast as Link’s stubby legs would carry me. Fleeing for my young life, I stumbled upon a sword with my name engraved on it, beginning the great adventure.

I got stuck. A lot. Wandering around in the ever changing woods thanks to that stupid raccoon, trying repeatedly to walk over the narrow pixels between the holes in the ground to get that heart-piece, foolishly braving the swamp without Bow-wow; every dungeon, every trade sequence; every enemy sticks out in my mind as something I struggled to figure out. But another thing stands out above the rest: I never got frustrated.

On the contrary, I remember the whole thing quite fondly. It was a more innocent time, where I would repeatedly bang my head against the game design, convinced that if I timed it just right, I could make the jump between the ledges and get to the island with the rafting shop. It gave me time to soak in the isle of Koholint, to ingrain every area with personality and memories, to beat the awesome, if repetitive, music into my skull. I can no longer hear Tal Tal Heights without being instantly transported to the waterfalls cascading down the side of the mountain, Papal asking for vittles or the view from the Windfish’s egg. For an 8-bit, portable side-quest, the game is overflowing with adventure and style.

I could go on and on about every aspect of Link’s Awakening but no one wants to hear about the hours I spent cutting grass outside the shop to save for the shovel and bow (I did this too - Ed.). So let’s move on.

(remember, still JC not me talking)

The year was 1997 and my N64 envy was in full swing. Infrequent trips to the library yielded the greatest of sacred treasures: worn copies of Nintendo Power for my reading pleasure. Of course, being Nintendo’s mouthpiece, they were hyping the franchise’s first 3D outing shamelessly and I fell hard. It is impossible to convey what those early screenshots meant to me; how full of mystery and promise the world they suggested were. Link swimming in a darkened moat; what else was there?! Link leading a horse around a lake with mountain in the distance; I bet you can go to that mountain! I saw a fully realized world, unlike anything I had ever played before, just begging to be explored.

Two major delays (aka an eternity to my young self) and one $150 console later, I unwrapped The Greatest Game of All Time™ on the first night of Chanukah. Then, three months later, I beat Ganon, watched the ending credits, went downstairs, and ate a tuna fish sandwich.

What happened in the interim that leads me to make such lofty claims about Ocarina?

Simply put, my entire perception of what games were, of what they could be, was dramatically expanded.

The first play was remarkably similar to Link’s Awakening. I spent the night running around Kokiri village, experimenting with how I could interact with the world, pushing the limits of what I could do and reveling in the details. Look how much I can do with context sensitive actions! Holy crap, the camera adjusts automatically! Footsteps make different sounds depending on the material underfoot! There was so much to do and see, even in that tiny area. Each discovery was fresh and amazing.

It’s important to keep in mind that I had no real experience with any other truly 3D game by that point. Neither Mario Kart 64 nor Starfox 64 gave any sort of real freedom, nor the environment to use it. Cut-scenes that told move-like story? Fully implemented movement along three axes? An epic journey to save a vast, living realm? There had never been anything like this before (Or since if you ask me - Ed.). When the world was turned on it’s head following the villain’s unexpected triumph, kick starting a grander and even more desperate struggle to save Hyrule, I nearly exploded from The Awesome™.

The journey consumed three months of my life. Being in sixth grade at the time, my parents limited Nintendo time to an hour a day and then only on weekends, artificially spacing out the adventure longer I wanted. There was just so much to experience; each area had personality and every dungeon presented a unique challenge. Every step was met by some memorable event, NPC, fight, or song. Even beyond the traditionally quantifiable measures of a game, there was some sort of magic at work. That I could play the game in front of my non-gamer girl cousins and enthrall them for a weekend in my quest through the forest and fire temples is surely a sign of its power (Girls are known to possess a video game resistant gene, look it up! - Ed.).

Unfortunately, revolutions of this magnitude are few and far between. Recent iterations of the franchise, particularly Twilight Princess, are criticized for sticking too closely to the formula set forth by OoT. I cannot blame Nintendo for emulating its winning formula, but successfully transplanting a beloved franchise into the third dimension while simultaneously setting new standards and conventions for the industry does not happen often. While subsequent iterations have arguably improved the template, none have managed to recapture the magic of the first time.

When you come right down to it, maybe Zelda itself is not that special. Perhaps everyone has these sorts of experiences, some revelation of a game that comes at a critical juncture in their lives and remains a favorite for no reasons other than influence and nostalgia. Certainly the internet has no shortage of people willing to harsh the series and flame me for my enjoyment of it.

But, at the end of the day, none of that matters. Zelda demonstrated to me the power of videogames to thrill, intrigue and convey experience in ways impossible in other artistic forms. The industry may have only begun to explore the medium’s potential for story-telling, but it is that exciting possibility that keeps me coming back. Link made me the game fan I am today by showing me that the greatest adventure is yet to come.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time: Sidequests and minigames galore!

I really enjoyed reading that. It mirrored my experiences with my first Zeldas very closely (which incidentally were Link's Awakening and A Link to the Past). I got them both the same Christmas.

Good work JC Denton!