Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

Part U-DO damned 13 in an update that started on the previous page.



“Flying Boob Blaster, activate!”



This is gonna sting.



KOS-MOS just suicide bombed the last of the major gnosis. Had to be a better way to handle that…



“Welp, watched all my friends die. We done yet?”



“Is that a ‘yes’?”



Let’s see, the Zohar is an uplink to God, Abel is an uplink to God, and the planet is currently within Abel’s Ark, which is also an uplink to God. I’m assuming Nephilim is an atheist.



Lake Turkana, Kenya?



Nephilim then instantly grows up. Sure, whatever.



God hasn’t even seen so much as a skin mag before.



And I guess we have some kind of Triforce thing going on.



Woooo~ooooooo



Wooooooooo~ooooooooooo



“Let’s outrun… whatever is happening here!”



Reminder: the UMN columns just dissolved, and those were our main ticket out.



Keep yelling at Hammer! Maybe that’ll help!



Gotta foreshadow your deus ex machina a little bit.



Sad Shion!



But Shion gets another random psychic flash.




Shion thinks there’s one UMN column left. Third star from the left, and straight on till morning.



When will people learn to stop arguing with mentally unstable heroines!?



“See! MOMO’s got my back on this!”



“I mean the guy, not the abstract concept.”



Away we go!



Not quite!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Captain Matthews… suddenly gets operatic?



“This ship is a Lohengrin-class passenger-freighter. Its form is like the ‘Knight of the Swan.’”

Yes, we’ve got time for one random opera joke.



Followed by the most anime thing you can ever shout.



And the swan ship grows swan wings during its swan song.



And everything up 'til now was so meticulously planned!



And… they’re gone.



Everyone is momentarily stunned…



But awaken to find the gravity of the situation has left them.



Captain Matthews spent nearly the entire franchise in that chair, and he didn’t even have a seatbelt?



“We’re… somewhere in space.” “Thanks.”



Incoming!



Right. UMN is gone, and so are the super future ways to communicate. We’re back to 21st Century tech.



And who is that contacting the Elsa?



Somebody Shion recognizes…



Hooray!



Yep, the Dammerung got shoved into the same sector of space as the Elsa.



Convenient, particularly when you consider that the Dammerung is a mobile planet’s worth of tech and resources.



So, uh, is Miyuki the President of Vector now by default? Like, what’s the chain of command here?



Time skip!



After resting for some unknown number of days, it’s time to get out there and find Earth. We’re down to only 10,000 years remaining!



No UMN columns, so space travel is rough.



“And I think my favorite beach doesn’t exist anymore, either.”



Have Shion and MOMO spoken since, like, midway through XS2?



Guess The Brews are dividing up exploration responsibility.



What? Is MOMO on doggy duty? Hehe, “doggy duty”.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Ah, I suppose that makes sense. MOMO is the daughter of two Mizrahis and kind of a living computer, she’s probably technically the smartest anything in what’s left of the universe.



“So water my plants. Bye!”



MOMO asks Junior to say hi to Albedo whenever that dangling plot thread gets tugged again.



I suppose MOMO has completely forgiven Albedo at this point. Or at least wants to play nice with Junior’s last living (kinda?) relative.



Junior is, as ever, Junior.



And Junior charges Ziggy with robo dad duties.



“Don’t worry about me… but thanks for paying for that upgrade… in the… southern departments.”



So Shion, Allen, and Junior are heading off to explore the universe with the crew of the Elsa, while MOMO, Ziggy, Juli, and Miyuki keep track of civilization. Probably a good split.



Note Allen’s posture. Dude has got it together.



Away we go, again.



That’s Alby the Dog talking. Turns out he’s been narrating the entire franchise. … Or that’s a complete lie.



Captain Matthews and his crew never change.



Since the entire damn Kukai Foundation is probably dead now, Mary and Shelley got transferred to helm duty. And, look, Helmer survived! I don’t know if this is meant as confirmation that some “gnosis” planets returned, or simply that Helmer got on an escape ship in time, but whatever, it’s good news either way.



And Shion and Allen are chilling in the mess hall, looking out over the stars.



Like at the beginning and midpoint of XS2, Shion logs a little soliloquy while various scenes play. I’ll block out the whole quote here:



“Jin, now I think I understand what Wilhelm wanted to do, just a little bit better. His methods may have been wrong, but now, I think I understand the logic behind his reasons. Living the same life over and over again, but living those lives without any regrets is what really matters. That's probably what the ideal vision of being human is all about. However, we humans are really not that strong. And we know that we can't live like that. We're creatures that are much more flawed, weak, and smaller than that. We hurt others, we lie to ourselves, we hate, we blame others, we regret, but, even if we are weak, and even if it is our fate to disappear entirely. I think the will to change the future is still an important one. We must try to change the things around us, little by little. Even if it is one step at a time, And even if everything is already pre-determined, it's not something for us to be sad about. No. On the contrary, the future is overflowing with hope. And we have infinite paths to choose from.”



There’s a brief bit of nonsense in there to confirm that Professor and Assistant Scott are along for the ride as well. And I think that’s Bunnie Bob helping them out, too. Good ol’ Bunnie Bob.



Doctus is helping out aboard the Dammerung.



Miyuki and Togashi have successfully bankrupt Vector’s universal empire inside of twelve minutes.



Mother and daughter are working together to make space a better place.



Ziggy has made a new friend.



And Shion and Allen…




I think the kids are going to be all right.

CONTINUED NEXT POST, FOR THE LAST TIME

Okay, I guess the whole franchise has been a Shion penned “letter” intended for an absent chaos and KOS-MOS. Jin is chopped liver.



And then it’s time for the staff roll. The previous XS episodes still had stuff to foreshadow, so their credits played opposite random movies. No such entertainment here. Eh, I suppose Xenosaga has earned it.



Wait a tick, something is coming into view.



Or someone.



Apparently chaos’s consciousness (or at least his voice) is stuck in a very damaged KOS-MOS.

“I guess both you and I still exist in this world, after all. As long as people... as long as the universe desires it, we will continue to exist.”



Xenosaga is an unerringly optimistic story.



KOS-MOS gets the final line of this gargantuan story: “Good-night.”



Thanks for the funding!



Hm?



We’ve got incoming.



Looks like Shion is going to find a friend on Lost Jerusalem, after all.



This has been…



Fun.

Next time on Xenosaga: The game’s over, but I’m not quite done yet. Let’s review what in U-DO’s name just happened.

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost?

Yeah, almost literally.

I... don't think there are any stars to look at. I remember them vanishing, and those pictures reinforce this!

I did like the impact the ending had. Series has been messy, but I do find it more intriguing when endings end up more bittersweet than out and out optimistic, doubly so if they leave interesting scenarios behind. It's kind of like a more optimistic, less fucked up End of Evangelion there really with the whole everything-is-gone, but there's a more obvious thread of hope, and at worst logically they could probably keep things going on that space station for quite awhile since it seemed pretty self sufficient and after reading the Encyclopedia post-ending I think Wilhelm planned this just in case since he was probably going for (hey let's throw Dune spoilers in here!) a God Emperor Leto thing by setting things up until humanity could throw off his control and grow beyond a weakness that would've ended everything otherwise.

Man, that ending was actually really good and well-earned. I haven't really liked much of the story in this series, though I do kinda like what depth exists to its characters. But that ending was really good. Admittedly, I'm in a pretty emotional state right now, so it was going to hit me kinda hard anyway.

But stuff like Allen and Shion's turn? Normally I'd say that's just really stupid wish fulfillment, and yet this time it felt like it was real, and even earned.

I do wish we'd actually gotten to know who chaos was, instead of just his secret power and all that. That was what interested me most about the character, instead of ~mysterious past~ crap. The ending itself was cryptic and weird outside of the surviving party members, but that's par for the course with this series.

So I have a question after this is all said and done. I just finished the Xenogears LP I was reading and with this wrapping up I ask:

How DOES Xenosaga fit into Xenogears? It's supposed to, that was the intention, but outside of a few rather forced references and the start of the reincarnation cycle, it didn't exactly lead UP to it. That was the point of this whole mess, right?

Not that I mind, mind you. It's just given the purpose of this game, you'd think it would actually hook up eventually. Or were they still holding out hope for episode 4?

hey i wanted to make end of evangelion joke before anyone else mentioned...
I think normally this thing would get me annoyed, because there's always this undercurrent in love stories where it's like, connecting through moments of stress and desperation and dire need probably isn't a great preparation for a relationship.I think here there's this constant of allen, even in his spineless first form, as a sign of comfort for shion, so really all he needed to do was prove he could at least be somewhat as self-reliant and dependable as shion. Plus it's got the parallel kevin being the lover never there vs allen being the punching bag that won't leave her, so it's earned because he meets it somewhere in the middle by being an actual person.

Plus most people go through this game and probably only think they deserve each other out of spite for both so it's not even really that great as a "im so glad they got together in the end"

I think canonically it doesn't. While there is the EPISODE V XENOGEARS thing, I think that was scrapped when it came to writing xenosaga. Not to mention Xenosaga story didn't end out strictly they way it was intended when they first started it.

You could draw some links to them though. A lot is potentially able to be cast aside as "just callbacks because it's not like drawing a new character is going to make the story any different", but considering there are a lot of similarities in those references, and the fact that both games are about the consciousness of a select number of beings being transported through bodies, it's not super hard to draw light arrows between them.

Either way, I don't think they were ever holding out hope for episode 4 (although i think if you contort yourself enough you may even be able to rationalize one of the xenoblades), and there's not canonical timeline between the games as far as I'm aware.

Pudik has the right of it, Word of God (the creator of the series) is and has always been that there are similar themes and names, "echoes" basically, but the two franchises are not really connected.

That said, please look forward to my fanfic-y explanation of how these games totally fit together, you guys, omg.

Speaking of which, one of the upcoming updates (I foresee about four or so, if anyone is counting) will be the Xenosaga FAQ, mostly based on questions from anyone with, ya know, questions.

So if you've got any questions about Xenosaga in any conceivable way, please ask. I am asking you to ask. It's for the good of the world. The worst I can do is just not address your specific question. I promise I won't Bongo-berate anyone with an opinion different than mine.

Here's a question.

Was it fun? Not this LP, writing all this up, or any of that. But the games themselves. Are they even fun to play?

only the card game and hakox

I'll ask one: which plot point/event either rumored somewhere or mentioned by soraya (or extend to missing year or anything else if needed) are you especially disappointed by not seeing in game?

I thought Ep 3 was fun to play. Ep 1 was serviceable, but Ep 2 was a hot mess. I've said this a million times but that finally disillusioned me to the idea of suffering subpar gameplay for the sake of a story, at least when said gameplay is an active impediment.

It's also why I day one'd Ep 1 and 2 but relegated 3 to waiting on Christmas.

The closing credits song - Maybe Tomorrow.

I think I like that song the most out of the others (though I still have a soft spot for Sweet Song), it has a kind of peaceful finality to it and it does make the otherwise empty credits a bit more worth sitting through.

Sooooo did anyone else notice that Ziggy had like nothing to say at all between wondering aloud what Wilhelm was doing there and much much much later after Junior asked him to look after MOMO and Juri? He didn't bat an eye at losing chaos, KOS-MOS, and Jin, but he got MOMO out in one piece so I guess that's all he cared about!


Also, if you really wanted to bend over backwards to tie Xenosaga to Xenogears, then I guess the Elsa would actually be the ship in the intro, piloted by the decedents of the crew (this... uh... this doesn't work as well when you consider how small the Elsa crew is, not to mention that Shion is the only lady on board) and KOS-MOS is Deus, her remains having been picked up and isolated.

All of this is a MASSIVE stretch, but it all kind of works. If you don't think about it too hard.

you would think the ship that is to be the merkabah in xenogears would be merkabah.

You would THINK that. But you can make anything make sense in fanfiction if you try hard enough!

Hell, maybe The Professor smuggled some scavenged tech from the Merkabah on board and upgraded the Elsa with it, and a few hundred years into their 10000 year mission the crew decided to rename the ship for giggles.

Well based on my reading of the ending, I can safely conclude that TVtropes is Just kinda dumb.

...

Hooray!

Okay question, what the HELL was up with the time travel LOL JK NOT REALLY TIME TRAVEL shit that made up a sizable chunk of episode 3? Like, I read it, start to end, and I STILL don't get it.

Oh yeah, forgot to reply to Mightyblue earlier:
While that bit with Elma being color inverted was almost certainly a Xenosaga nod, I'm inclined to think that otherwise with the MC that this is just general monomyth stuff at best, and more specifically just generic JRPG stuff. Amnesiac hero with shocking twist for being amnesiac (original self may have died, so either it's just kind of a communication SNAFU after the spirit of the planet or whatever interjects to save their existences, or it's a freshly crafted spirit put into the body) goes on an adventure to save their people. Seems like there needs to be more to be a real Jesus analog beyond "back from the dead(?)"

ALSO: I'm inclined to think that if Xenogears were to be reached again it'd be more like a similar tale rather than something you can properly connect. Some of the same conflicts, factions, and beats show back up, but with new details (there actually is kind of a gender reversal here too between Abel and Nephilim in that the latter caused the former to exist, rather than the former causing the latter to exist.)

Boxing been good to you, Talking Time?

Previously on Xenosaga: That’s what we’re here to talk about!

Let’s address the finale of the Xenosaga franchise in easily digestible, FAQ form. Note that this is not “THE” Xenosaga FAQ, just one for the ending/general plot. First question!



What in the name of chaos just happened?

Basically, the Xenosaga Universe got killed. All of the gnosis were sucked into a Nephilim-hole, many populated planets were destroyed, and the UMN, the “space internet” that allowed people to experience fabulous virtual reality and travel through space, was obliterated. In the end, all that’s left are a few planets (20%? Probably still a lot), the Dammerung (mobile center of technology for the galaxy), and approximately half of The Brews.

Is that supposed to be a good ending?

Kind of. It’s better than what Wilhelm had in mind.



What was Wilhelm’s plan?

Wilhelm, ultimately, wanted to reboot the universe. His big goal was “eternal recurrence”, wherein the same souls experience the same timeline eternally, and the whole of the universe is stuck in a constant loop from the Big Bang to the finale of the game. Basically, Wilhelm wanted a universe that ended with Xenosaga, and then everybody got a do-over, forever. According to the game’s database, this plan has already worked at least once, and this might be the “tenth or hundredth” recurrence.

Okay, so how does that tie-in with... everything Wilhelm did?

Wilhelm needed a few ingredients for the reboot of the universe:

1. Zarathustra, an ancient device from Lost Jerusalem that has the potential to destroy the universe. It’s kind of big, and you don’t want to risk a doomsday weapon with moving companies, so it’s easier to bring the rest of the parts to Zarathustra.
2. Mary Magdalene, the ancient “partner” of Jesus Christ. Jesus apparently really trusted Mary, so he granted her the ability to summon gnosis. Wilhelm needs Mary to summon all the gnosis (lost souls) to Zarathustra, so that gnosis energy may be tossed towards Earth to spark the Big Bang and allow the souls to be reborn as the (same) population for the rebootiverse.
3. The Maiden of Mary Magdalene aka Shion. Shion is the reincarnation of Mary’s best friend, a mysterious woman known only as The Maiden of Mary Magdalene. Like how Jesus trusted Mary, Mary trusts Shion (Ancient Shion), and granted her the ability to activate Zarathustra, but only if Shion “wanted it”. Shion must choose to activate Zarathustra, effectively destroying the universe, so it’s probably a good plan to get her in a rotten mood.
4. Zarathustra is powered by chaos’s Anima Relics, so all of the Anima Relics must be “awakened” aka turned on. The easiest way to boot up an Anima Relic is to stick it in a giant robot, and get its owner good and riled up.
5. U-DO, aka God, must be distracted, else He would probably veto the whole thing. Thus, U-DO’s two corporeal terminals, Abel and Abel’s Ark, have to be entirely focused on Michtam.
6. The Zohar is a good thing to have, too.

Want to break that down a little more? What the hell is Zarathustra?

Zarathustra is a device built in Biblical times. It was apparently designed by Mary Magdalene, though, considering her reincarnated role, it’s assumed Ancient Shion had a hand in it, too. The idea was that Zarathustra was a device to reach up and poke the eye of God, because Mary was not coping with the death of Jesus well. Unfortunately, according to Wilhelm, if it did ever get used, God would get pissed off and destroy the universe. No reboot, just all of existence destroyed. Mary and Ancient Shion didn’t live to activate Zarathustra, so, in the meanwhile, Wilhelm modified the device to reboot the universe, not destroy it. Shion’s Pendant is apparently the lynchpin for the reboot-not-destroy function.

Is that why the title of the game is “Also sprach Zarathustra”?

No. Well… Kinda. “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” is another Nietzsche book. Nietzsche believed TSZ to be his magnum opus, and it expressed a number of his beliefs in a happy little fictional story that alleged “God is dead” and “man is still trying to reach the level of the übermensch” quite a bit. In a way, you could look at TSZ as the Nietzsche “Bible”, so it seems natural that Xenosaga, with its lips so permanently pressed against Nietzsche’s rotting ass, would honor his greatest work with this insanity.

For the record, the book is the (fictional) story of Zarathustra (based on the real life Zoroaster) a man who wanders around and tells everybody they’re idiots. He spouts off about the “eternal recurrence of the same” quite a bit, too. Zarathustra is not a robot, giant or otherwise.

Incidentally, Xenosaga contains a number of shallow references to Thus Spoke Zarathustra going all the way back to Episode 1 (Nietzsche came to writing TSZ after being inspired by a piece of geography that is “6,000 feet beyond man and time," and that number should be familiar if you’ve been reading this LP), but I’ll leave the breadth of those discoveries to someone who can tolerate Nietzsche’s writings for more than ten minutes.



Okay, back to the game: What’s Mary Magdalene’s deal?

She’s… complicated.

First of all, Xenosaga confirms that Mary was 100% Jesus’s girlfriend, or at least a very trusted friend. When Jesus got the head’s up on his own crucifixion, he entrusted his great magical power (… however you want to interpret that) to Mary. Or maybe it was after He died? He’s a hard savior to pin down. Whatever the case, Mary is thus the Animus to chaos’s Anima (for more information on that terminology, please take the first seven seconds of a psychology course). Mary alone possessed the ability to control the Anima Relics and the Zarathustra device. She then “split” this power with Ancient Shion, and died (we’ll get into that).

Fast forward 6,000 years (see?), and Mary is still dead. Boo. However, after all that time, “The Maiden of Mary” aka Shion was finally born (reborn), and Wilhelm wasn’t going to waste all day waiting for Mary to be reborn, too. He tasks Kevin with building a robotic body for Mary. Kevin partially builds KOS-MOS for this task, but dies so that Shion and KOS-Mary can have some alone time (seriously, that’s the plan). Shion completes KOS-MOS, but Mary, while “in there”, is not yet awakened. Mary stops by randomly when Shion is in danger (post-Cathedral Ship, Proto Merkabah, the middle of XS2), but it takes Nephilim needling Shion into a dreamscape for Shion to completely awaken her long lost reincarnated buddy. Had the ending gone better, Shion and KOS-Mary would probably have become a permanent pair of gal pals.

So, wait, what was up with T-elos, then?

T-elos was built from Mary’s corpse as Kevin’s Plan B. Kevin had assumed the whole KOS-MOS plan had failed, because it had been a year, and there was still no sign of the “real” Mary. So he built T-elos (seemingly entirely by himself) out of Mary’s corpse, and assumed T-elos would destroy the weaker KOS-MOS, and reclaim her soul. It didn’t work. Considering KOS-Mary reawakened before T-elos made her final move, it seems T-elos was ultimately a complete failure. The lesson is to be patient and be happy with the magic robots you already have.



So KOS-MOS was Mary all along?

Mary was asleep in KOS-MOS since her activation, but they’re basically two different “souls”. This is emphasized during the finale when Mary is incapable of committing an act that will hurt chaos, so she switches herself off, hands KOS-MOS the wheel, and KOS-MOS sacrifices chaos (and potentially the universe) to protect Shion. The KOS-MOS soul learned from the Mary soul, but they are capable of operating entirely independently, and with differing desires. For an easy visual identifier, when KOS-MOS has red eyes, she’s KOS-MOS, and when she’s sporting those baby blues, she’s Mary. Though, again, this isn’t to imply there isn’t some internal conversation between KOS-MOS and Mary; they clearly have some level of communication. During the finale, it appears that Mary left KOS-MOS to work with Nephilim, so final, damaged KOS-MOS floating out in space is likely “just” KOS-MOS… though now she might have a new psychic roommate.



Right! What’s chaos’s deal in all this?

chaos is the opposite number for Mary. He’s the Anima to her Animus, and has ridiculous holy power. He’s also basically responsible for the most important magic crap in this universe.

chaos was apparently born around the same time as Jesus, though we don’t have any hard confirmation he didn’t exist before that, and Jesus just kind of focused him or something. Whatever the case, chaos was born with massive, universe destroying power for apparently no good reason. chaos himself literally did not know why he was born with so much power. Jesus seemed to do the savior thing and calm chaos down, but after He died, chaos was still left with all this ludicrous power, and, rather than using the power to ascend to godhood or even royalty, he sought to lose the power through any means necessary. Mary apparently had the ability to oblige chaos, and she sucked the power out of chaos, and spread it into twelve objects, the Anima Relics. This left chaos “only” immortal and generally super powerful (as opposed to all-powerful), and chaos, being a pretty alright bloke, decided to dedicate the rest of his existence to generally being helpful. This process also killed Mary, which, ya know, whoops.

This means that chaos knew “the plot” all along, and chose not to tell anybody. He claims that this was because he wants to see a “free” mankind that is capable of making its own choices, but… dude? If one of my choices inadvertently leads to the destruction of the universe, and you didn’t tell me that was a possibility, I think that’s on you. Wilhelm started his own creepy branch of Christianity, why didn’t you pitch in the tiniest bit?



So is chaos Jesus?

No, of course not. There’s a scene where Jesus and chaos are both in the same place, and they’re two totally different people. And the Bible of Xenosaga (that is to say, the passages from the Bible that the party finds in various places) identifies “Jesus” as “Jesus”, not “Yeshua”, chaos’s old name.

What happens if you ignore that evidence?

Oh, then chaos is totally Jesus.

The mythology of Xenosaga is that there is Mary the woman to Yeshua the man, and they both have insane holy powers that can touch God. Like Fei and Elly in Xenogears, they’re meant as a “balance”: these two characters orbit around each other , and their relationship is, inadvertent or not, the inciting incident for the entire plot. It’s a yin/yang thing, and it’s right there from the beginning of the narrative, with Mary’s new form being KOS-MOS (order), and Yeshua adopting the name “chaos”.

And then there’s Jesus. Jesus is a total third wheel.

Jesus just happens to be yet another holy dude born at the exact same time as Mary and chaos. He, like chaos, has an uplink to God (“Dad”), and, like chaos, he has random magical powers that didn’t quite make it into the Bible (can summon ghost monsters). Then, in the end, what is considered Jesus dies, but he is able to return as a new being that is still Jesus, but somehow different (check your Scripture, it happened). Also, Jesus, like chaos, apparently had a relationship with Mary.



Oh yeah. Depending on your interpretation of Xenosaga, Mary had something of a holy fetish.

As mentioned earlier, Mary had to basically shut down her own soul so she could allow KOS-MOS to save Shion. Mary knew that she was being manipulated by Wilhelm, but she still couldn’t bring herself to stop, because the alternative was hurting chaos. In short, Mary was willing to sacrifice a lot for chaos. And, yes, she literally died helping chaos 6,000 years back. Girl had it bad for Yeshua.

It’s never 100% confirmed, but considering their interactions, it seems like Mary and chaos had a romantic relationship. And T-elos plainly states that Mary was “the partner of the Messiah”. In other words, it appears that Mary loved two men, and they both happened to be fairly sacred.

So, if we ignore the one scene that puts Bruce Wayne and Batman in the same place, things make a lot more sense for chaos to be Jesus. He’s an immortal, helpful dude with holy power and the ability to commune with higher beings, and he painfully sacrificed everything he was around 30 AD. And he used to date Mary Magdalene. Also, named Yeshua. Gawrsh, wouldn’t it be something if the only reason we got that Jesus scene was to disparage “chaos is Jesus” theories, presumably to avoid the international incident of “you made Jesus a playable character that pilots giant robots”? Just something to consider.

Incidentally, I do believe that it was downright smart to make chaos and Jesus separate characters, as making “secretly Jesus” a playable character in a JRPG would be… ill-advised. That doesn’t change the fact that the plot seems a lot cleaner if that isn’t the case, though.



Hey, speaking Mary’s relationships, what’s the deal with The Maiden of Mary Magdalene?

Brother, I don’t know.

First of all, we were already low on Biblical women, so the idea of “The Maiden of Mary Magdalene” is entirely an invention of Xenosaga, although it could be partially based on how the Bible admits that Mary had other friends. Just don’t expect to find any ancient etchings of “that woman that hung out with Mary Magdalene”.

What is important is that Shion is the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene’s best friend. As stated before, Mary shared a portion of her power with Ancient Shion, and only Mary and Shion working together have the ability to activate Zarathustra. So, again, the significant part is that Mary and Shion are super important to each other, and Mary trusted Shion with technically the most important part of herself.



Now whether you want to interpret this as “Mary was bi, and they were totally doing it” or “they were really good gal pals” is up to you. Frankly, there’s evidence for either interpretation. While XS1 was pretty good about portraying Shion and KOS-MOS as an adult mother and daughter (Shion is mom, and KOS-MOS occasionally misbehaves, but she also turns around and saves the day in equal measure), even from the beginning, there seemed to be a lot of… physical intimacy going on. After a whole lot of hugging and “you’re the only one that understands me”, the final scene between Shion and KOS-MOS is of two people with their hands clasped around each other’s fingers, wishing each other heartfelt good-byes and promising to see each other again. If these two were traditionally complimentary genders, there’d be absolutely no ambiguity there. Though, again, a lot of XS3 portrays a parent/child relationship between Shion and her daughter who is gradually learning to discover her true self.

So, as ever, it’s complicated.

Shion’s role in Xenosaga history is that of Mary’s best friend. Whether that was best friend with benefits is up to the viewer.

Though you may note that there was no effort to make Kevin or Allen the reincarnation of anybody…



Enough hugging, can we get back to the evil plan? What’s with U-DO?

U-DO is God. That’s capital “G” God, and, to be clear, not, like, “the god of fajitas” or something. This is God the Creator, who made the universe and is watching you masturbate right now. Omnipotence has its perks.

Actually, that’s probably not quite right. What’s more accurate is that U-DO knows you’re masturbating, because some small part of you is U-DO, and every other part of U-DO is ashamed of you.

Basically, in the Xenosaga universe, U-DO is a sort of sentient collective unconscious. The wills (re: souls) of everyone that ever or will live is in the UMN, and U-DO is the collection of those souls given a will. Thus, U-DO created the universe, because the will of the universe wanted there to be a universe. If that sounds like circular reasoning, then congratulations, and welcome to Theology 101.

U-DO is the will of the universe, it is God, but it is also a “soul” itself. While it is made up of everyone and everything, since it has its own will, it wants to explore that will, and “be” something. Thus, Abel was “born” to be U-DO’s mortal vessel, a sort of homunculus that could experience being human and maybe pilot a giant robot or two. Abel is God, but is a sort of “go with the flow” God: he suffers through a lot of Xenosaga because he’s not asserting his own will (“hey, stop hitting me”) and mainly wants to see what humans will do. Abel experiences pain, and dislikes pain, but does nothing to stop his own pain because he wants to see where this is all going. That winds up being (almost) the end of the universe, and, since Abel is wrapped up in the event, U-DO will not interfere.

Uh… it’s kind of like how you’ve got somewhere to be, and this cutscene is taking forever, but you don’t skip it to get straight to a savepoint, because something important might happen, and you’d hate to miss that. That’s why God almost let the universe explode.



Probably because Abel is so tiny (and made a whole lot more sense when humankind was confined to a mere one planet), U-DO has another “terminal”, Abel’s Ark. Abel’s Ark is a galaxy-sized… thingy. It’s not a gnosis, but it looks like a gnosis, so same diff. Abel’s Ark appears to be U-DO’s “hands”, and does things that are a lot more reactive than Abel, like nabbing the Zohar at the end of XS2. That said, it is still pretty passive when Yuriev conquers the place toward the end of XS3. Wilhelm’s plan requires Abel’s Ark to be in the area, because if he tried the whole Zarathustra thing while U-DO wasn’t already mystified by the event, Abel’s Ark would probably mosey over and eat the planet or something. As it is, Wilhelm was able to goad Shion into summoning Abel’s Ark at the end of the time travel adventure, so Zarathustra (almost) went off without a hitch.

What’s the Zohar?

It’s a monolith of unimaginable power that allows man to interact with God/U-DO. It’s… surprisingly straightforward. In general, a regular dude attempting to interface with the Zohar (and thus U-DO) will scare said dude into becoming a space monster.



You mean a gnosis? What are the gnosis?

Basically gnosis are (mostly) physical poltergeist phenomena.

As revealed by Wilhelm and generally implied throughout the franchise, “gnosis” have been people all along (gasp). There are some people in the universe that cannot deal with reality, reject it, and then become atrocious ghost beasts. Usually, this occurs because of gnosis to human contact (if you were being manhandled by a monster, you’d be pretty willing to skip out on reality), though gnosis from pre-Miltian human history were generally just one or two jerks that went off the reservation and became mythical. There never was a Grecian minotaur, just some jerk that rejected humanity, and mutated into a bullish ghost. Science!

When Shion tore space and time a new one as a child at the end of the Miltian conflict, a number of gnosis dropped into the known universe. It is assumed that these “starter” gnosis were basically ancient, mythical gnosis from 11,000 or so years of human history, “dead” souls that had mutated into gnosis while waiting to be reincarnated (likely unhappy with being dead), a glut of (former) people that had encountered the Zohar over the years, or some combination of all three. I think someone made a chart:



Gnosis exist in the realm of the mind, so that’s why they’re always just outside our reality (until the Hilbert Effect drags them back to Earth [it’s an expression]). Since they’re 100% constructed from thought, they’re capable of basically anything, from breathing fire to firing laser beams. And that conveniently makes for more exciting random encounters. While gnosis may seem to be working together, they’re all just singularly rampaging against a universe they wish to see destroyed, so they’re more or less incidentally assisting each other. Gnosis transform people into salt because it looks cool.

As you’ve probably already figured out at this point, the reason chaos can “touch a gnosis to death” is because he possesses unending reserves of empathy, and he can “good vibe” a gnosis into not wanting to be a gnosis anymore. Rest in peace, literally.

In the end (of the universe), gnosis are human souls, too. Even though they’re angry and destructive, they’re necessary for the Eternal Recurrence, because we can’t have a deficit of souls for the universal reboot. As a result, Mary (though it works out to mainly be Nephilim) must use Lemegeton to gather all the gnosis in the universe to properly activate Zarathustra. This has the added benefit of eliminating the threat of the gnosis from the universe… and why didn’t any of the good guys think to implement that part of the plan sooner? Not like Nephilim or chaos liked the gnosis…

I THOUGHT I WAS DONE SAYING CONTINUED NEXT POST

So how did everything in Xenosaga contribute to Wilhelm’s plan?

Simple!

� Shion is born. The Maiden of Mary Magdalene is now on the board, so let’s get this plan going.


Wilhelm recruits Kevin, a jackass with a chip on his shoulder, to create KOS-Mary. Kevin desperately wants to be reunited with his dead mother, so he’s down for this whole “reset the universe” plan.


Joachim Mizrahi, in a desperate bid to revive his dead daughter, discovers that the Zohar is an uplink to God, and should probably not be readily available to the universe at large.


Somewhere around here, Wilhelm obtains the Anima Relics and, as Heinlein of Ormus and CEO of Vector, distributes the Anima Relics to various “chosen” users through giant robots. Nobody ever says no to a giant robot.


Ormus, in an act of revenge against the Galactic Federation, gets the Miltian Conflict going, because they’re a bunch of jerks,


Shion, a child on Miltia, watches her parents die at the hands of berserk Realians. Shion is the Maiden of Mary Magdalene, so she’s got a subconscious link to U-DO/God. Her incredible trauma resonates with the Zohar, gets God’s attention, tears the UMN a new one, and releases the gnosis into the universe.


Simultaneously, Mizrahi realizes that his worst fears have been realized, and, in the midst of the chaos, seals all of Old Miltia and the Zohar in a double black hole. The only key to “unlock” Old Miltia is left with MOMO, Mizrahi’s Realian daughter.


Shion meets Kevin as an adult, and they begin building KOS-MOS. They bond because they both blame the gnosis for their various problems, and an anti-gnosis weapon seems right up their collective alley.


Proto KOS-MOS is activated early by Cherenkov, a U-TIC soldier, who gained the activation code from a willing Kevin. Proto KOS-MOS kills Kevin, and Shion is forced to decapitate Proto KOS-MOS to stop the rampage.

� Wilhelm revives Kevin immediately, because it would probably be useful to have The Maiden of Mary Magdalene’s beau around.


Two years later, KOS-MOS is activated when Shion is endangered aboard the Woglinde. The two survive the event, and Xenosaga Episode 1 begins.


U-TIC and, later, Albedo kidnap MOMO to unlock Old Miltia. Albedo is successful in extracting the key from MOMO.


Old Miltia is returned from its double black hole prison. There is a mad dash across the universe to retrieve the Zohar.


Pope Jerkass is successful in obtaining the Zohar, but loses it to Albedo. Albedo is then killed by Junior.


The Brews nearly snag the Zohar for themselves, but Abel’s Ark comes out of nowhere and nabs it.


Shion is separated from KOS-MOS, which won’t do, so Wilhelm and Kevin create a situation where it is necessary for Shion to return and “rescue” KOS-MOS.


After reuniting with KOS-MOS, Shion is forced into a simulation of her own past. Shion is then made to relive her greatest anguish, and that event causes Shion to summon Abel’s Ark back into regular space.


Covetous Yuriev does the heavy lifting on securing the Zohar within Abel’s Ark with Abel.


Albedo (revived by Wilhelm) is able to trace Yuriev within Abel’s Ark, and secures Abel and the Zohar for Wilhelm.


The Brews follow to Michtam, where the last Anima Relics are activated through intense, life or death battles on the planet’s surface.


A locked door forces Shion to Awaken Mary Magdalene within KOS-MOS.


Kevin reveals his revived form to convince Shion to reboot the universe. Shion momentarily agrees, but rescinds her blessing when Allen grows a spine.


Thus, the Zohar, the Awakened Anima Relics, KOS-Mary, Abel/Abel’s Ark, Zarathustra, and Shion are all finally in the same place. The only reason this whole plan didn’t work was that Shion decided she didn’t want to cooperate, and that choice swayed Kevin to Shion’s side. The only reason Shion didn’t cooperate was Allen.



Allen saved the universe.



So what happens next?

Part of Zarathustra’s function was achieved: all of the gnosis were shoved over to Earth, but, thanks to the efforts of Mary, chaos, and Nephilim, they didn’t explode into a new Big Bang (KOS-MOS and Jin also helped, but they mostly just ran interference). If something isn’t done about that big ball of souls, the universe will be destroyed, so Shion must re-discover Earth, and, once there… I don’t know… collect 120 stars or something. chaos didn’t get too specific. chaos provided a deadline of “at best, the universe will last another few tens of thousands of years,” so I’m pretty sure chaos has an immensely spotty memory of your average human lifespan. Or maybe he was implying Shion has a few more reincarnations to go before she finds the place? Who can tell with that guy?

Anyway, our final shot of the Xenosaga universe portrays a group of humans that are finally free of the gnosis and eternal recurrence, but at a great cost. For the average (still alive) Xenosaga human, life is now going to be more challenging, as space travel is now more difficult, and the Wi-Fi network will be down for the foreseeable future. Though, on the plus side, even though there was a lot of death across the universe, there is likely still a much greater human population than exists on Earth today, and Vector is still intact, so humanity is probably going to still flourish across the universe. And, even if Shion completely borks her mission to find Earth, the universe still has a period of time greater than the whole of human history to enjoy those last few millennia. So, hey, happy ending. And Ziggy gets to look after a dog! What fun!

And that’s 4,500 or so words on how Xenosaga ends. It’s that simple!

Next time on Xenosaga: Does everybody understand the plot now? Close enough? Now let’s take a critical look at all the characters that had actual arcs that made it to the finish line. Who is excited for the final report on Allen!?

Last update of the year! Almost last update ever!

Previously on Xenosaga: The universe had a bad time. Now let’s look at some of its most popular residents.

Let’s kick this off with Wilhelm, technically the big bad of the Xenosaga franchise.



Wilhelm sucked. … Do I need to elaborate on that? Oh, fine.

Wilhelm is exactly how you don’t do a shadowy, mysterious villain. What are Wilhelm’s motivations? He wants to reboot the universe. Why? Because… he thinks that’s a good idea. Why? Who knows!? He doesn’t seem to have any attachments to anyone, so he doesn’t want to relive a happier time (like Kevin). He’s not a mass-murdering psychopath that wants to see the universe destroyed (like Voyager). He doesn’t even have some sort of all-consuming “achieve Godhood” obsession (like Albedo or Yuriev). He’s just an immortal control freak who thinks he knows what’s best for humanity/the universe. He’s not even that bad, he’s just prone to using planets full of people as pawns to further his own goals. Yes, that makes him a “bad person”, but he didn’t actively rape, kidnap, or murder anybody on screen, so he’s got the moral high ground over the majority of villains in this story. In the end, yes, he’s responsible for a lot of misery, but he’s not as exceedingly punchable as Albedo or Pope Jerkass. It makes even his defeat feel muted.

And who was Wilhelm? Another mystery. He’s clearly immortal, and he’s been around since Biblical times, but he’s not… anybody. He’s not Pontius Pilate, he’s not Judas, he is just yet another dude that happens to be immortal and seemingly has great stores of power. Note also that his superpowers appear to be A. reviving Testaments, and B. standing around. Wilhelm is, by design, completely inactive through most of Xenosaga, and it really detracts from the possibility of his final plan being at all impactful. I want to say this is a major factor in a number of people forgetting or not understanding how Xenosaga ends: Wilhelm’s final plan was basically a whole lot of nothing, and that’s the only thing about Wilhelm we learn.

Wilhelm was a dud, plain and simple.

I suppose you could make the argument that the other big villain in Xenosaga is/are the gnosis.



The gnosis were a mystery established early in the franchise (some NPCs claim they don’t even exist), and, while there are hints all along the series, we don’t get any complete confirmation on the gnosis phenomenon until the absolute final room of the game.

And it’s another mystery that ends up being ineffective. They were people the whole time? Well, we already knew that since the Cherenkov event. But the big secret is that they’re people that “rejected reality”? Really? That’s what you got? Angry space ghosts? Okay, Xenosaga, whatever.

At least the gnosis were a decent natural marvel throughout the series. With the exception of XS2 (where I guess everyone forgot they existed), the gnosis are a consistent threat throughout the series, and, whether you’ve got the Hilbert Effect or not, if there are a pile of space whales attacking your space colony, you’re gonna have a bad time. Even though The Brews can easily defeat a group of three to five gnosis, the roaming “packs” of gnosis that menace the universe are always a threat, and instantly escalate any situation. There’s a reason that, even after Wilhelm is dead (or something?), the gnosis stick around to make the finale more sensational.

But the “mystery” of the gnosis completely fizzled out, so they only really work as “monsters” and not “adversaries”. Small distinction, I know, but it leaves the Xenosaga franchise without a Sephiroth (or even a Cloud of Darkness).

While we’re looking at natural phenomenon, let’s turn our gaze to God aka U-DO.



God sucks in the Xenosaga universe.

This was covered at length in the previous update, but it still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense: the God of the Xenosaga universe is basically a millennia-old being that has no idea what is going on. U-DO is Abel the whole time? Okay, so God is a completely silent object of a person that is able to pilot a giant robot for the gratification of assholes. Okay, sure, whatever. Even if we accept that U-DO/Abel is a complete doormat for anyone that feels like wiping his feet, we’re still left with a very poor impression of the omnipotent will of the universe. And right around when Wilhelm starts telling us that U-DO is, essentially, easily distracted by shiny things, well, I can see why this universe might need a reboot or two.

But U-DO speaks! We do get some actual insight into U-DO’s thinking… and it’s exclusively through conversations with Shion. U-DO, the great will of the universe that drives lesser men to madness… is just confused about this whole “emotions” thing, and would like some explanation on why Shion happily remembers having sex with Kevin. U-DO, depending on the interpretation of Wilhelm’s explanation, is either an omnipotent “bearded guy in the sky” god, or the collective will of everyone that has ever lived (or both!), but somehow that entity can’t quite understand this thing you humans call… wuv? Seriously? I haven’t seen a “God” this dumb since I read Preacher, and that God wound up dead because he couldn’t sit his fool ass down.

God: just another in a series of Xenosaga disappointments. Atheism is looking better and better.

And our last big disappointment is, obviously, chaos.



chaos was a big mystery from his introduction, and (I’m running out of ways to say this) he eventually turned out to be… nothing. He’s the source of the Anima Relics? Neat. Why? Because he was born that way. What? And he separated himself from that Anima power because… it seemed like a good idea at the time? And he’s been helping the party this whole franchise because he’s a generally obliging fellow, but he didn’t want to help too much, because that might impact human history, and he doesn’t want to do that. He volunteered for a mission to pilot a giant mech (incidentally powered by a portion of himself) to save a group of kids that might bring about the apocalypse (opening of XS2), but he doesn’t want to tell his best friends about the small matter of a reincarnated woman living in a nearby robot or how he routinely talks to ghosts. Also, it would have taken like thirty seconds to convince Shion to hang out with KOS-MOS more (“It’s for the good of the universe that you and KOS-MOS be close” “Great! I’ll make s’mores!”), but he kept that one under his hat for at least a year. Mary Magdalene died for you, nimrod, do you think you could maybe do her a solid in return? Oh, no, we’re being mysterious this week, never mind.

Stop being so damn chaotic, chaos!

All that said, while chaos fails as a “mystery” that is clearly meant to cover some plot holes (“Why would anyone do x?” “Oh, probably chaos.”), he’s a fairly unique character, and that’s to be commended. He’s the Merlin of The Brews: he’s very powerful, and could seemingly solve all the problems of the universe with a wave of his hand, but he steps back so Arthur Uzuki can step up and become the Queen of Legend. He’s there to guide the party to the final destination, and he… kinda… does that, and offers sage advice to not only Shion, but also other auxiliary characters like Junior and Allen. He’s the typical “friendly immortal” archetype, and, complete with his ending sacrifice, he’s the “looks like a teen boy” version of the ever-present advisor/mentor character. While we are denied a chaos/Shion training montage, he seems to serve that same role as the guy that is helping everyone along without trying too hard to be the center of attention. Xenosaga Episode 7 is going to feature an Uzuki kid named after chaos.

But there’s one important distinction from the Merlin archetype here: chaos has no idea what he’s doing.

chaos is immortal, and he knows the general flow of the plot (ie this whole Mary thing, what Wilhelm is up to, etc). However, he doesn’t have a clue as to his own part in the plot. Yes, he’s powerful, and, yes, Wilhelm is using parts of him to power the reboot machine, but chaos still doesn’t know why he was born with such power, and he doesn’t know where this is all going. He genuinely believes in the independence of humanity (a stark contrast to Wilhelm’s “stop and let me do it”), but he doesn’t know where he slots into that plan, or if he should even be doing anything at all. If chaos seems inconsistent in his choices to act across the series, it’s because he, the mega-powerful immortal, is inconsistent in his own beliefs as to his own role, and is vacillating on his options like anybody else.

chaos might be immortal, but he’s as clueless as the rest of the party.

It doesn’t forgive chaos’s spotty characterization through most of the series, but chaos’s own uncertainty is a neat trick for a character that is 6,000 years old. At least it wasn’t amnesia!



I feel like I should cover Jin Uzuki at this point, because, despite being a member of the party for 1.5 games and being literally related to the most important character in the universe, Jin somehow experienced some kind of weird, parallel story to the rest of The Brews.

First of all: Jin is cool. He’s a dude with a sword that always tries to do the right thing, and he’s often in the position to be the one saying “Hey, Shion, you’re being a putz, knock it off.” That goes a long way in a franchise where no one ever asks chaos about his preposterous movements. And Jin does have a number of moments where the focus is his relationship with Shion, and that’s important, too. Shion doesn’t have any family except Jin, and, coupled with her extremely small support group at the start (Allen and the robot?), Jin is an imperative part of fleshing out Shion and her various issues. You can’t have your (human) heroine exist in a vacuum, and friends and family go a long way toward establishing a character.

But once you get past the Shion/Jin relationship, Jin… is kind of a loner.

Jin’s “big deal” is his relationship with U-TIC. Margulis is his rival, Pellegri is his ex-lover, and Jin’s greatest achievement seems to have been liberating a portion of the Y-Data from U-TIC’s clutches. As plainly stated by Helmer during XS2, Jin has been aimless since his Old Miltia victory (coincidentally when he became Shion’s surrogate father), and joining The Brews allows Jin to sharpen his sword against U-TIC skulls once again. Jin comes out of retirement one last time for the biggest score of his life… and dies doing it. Oldest story in the book.

Except, in an ensemble piece like Xenosaga, it feels a might lessened by the fact that his sacrifices didn’t have an impact on anything.

Okay, yes, Jin fought bravely to tackle some gnosis that KOS-MOS alone couldn’t handle. Yes, it was Jin that ultimately defeated Margulis, and he saved the party from Margulis attacks on two other separate occasions. And it was certainly Jin that exploded Pellegri, who otherwise almost certainly would have inconvenienced the party for upwards of ten minutes. Jin definitely contributed to the final Brews victory.

But…

It was established before his big finale that Margulis was a patsy all along. In the grand scheme of things, Margulis, Pellegri, and U-TIC had no bearing on this plot past Old Miltia. Yes, they’re bad guys, and it’s probably a good thing they’re all dead, but they were apparently only generally misguided, and even Richard & Hermann could have been rehabilitated with a recording of Wilhelm confessing Evil Scheme #528. When you separate U-TIC from being a galactic threat, all you’re left with are a bunch of random dudes with grudges, and those grudges are exclusively focused on Jin, not the rest of the party. And, if everyone’s completely blasé attitude toward the end of Pellegri is any indication, the rest of the party noticed. Jin, we’re already dealing with one majorly self-absorbed Uzuki here, we don’t need to start worrying about your problems, too. Only so much time in the day, and MOMO has a hair appointment later.

So, Jin, good job. You were a memorable, cool character. You also didn’t really have an impact on anything, and got a big sloppy kiss of death for your troubles. I’m sure your sister will remember you fondly.

And now, as you know we must, we shall talk about Shion Uzuki, heroine of the Xenosaga saga.



Like many of her contemporaries, Shion’s multi-game arc wrapped up back in XS2. To refresh your memory, after spending a number of years in denial, Shion finally makes the decision to face her rotten past, and kills a pair of her childhood friends to alleviate their suffering. Shion learns that death can be a mercy, and to make forward progress, one must acknowledge the awful past. Mission complete, good job everybody, let’s go home, KOS-MOS.

And then Xenosaga attempted to do something interesting.

Consider your average JRPG hero. While we sometimes get a Cecil or Cloud, a number of JRPG heroes are “average joes”, or, at least, are meant to be fairly mundane before they find out their dad was a dragon or whatever. Just within the Final Fantasy franchise, we have Bartz the Wanderer, Zidane the thief/thespian, Tidus the athlete, Vaan the street urchin, and the collection of crystal-obsessed children from Final Fantasy 3. In all of those cases, you’re looking at a hero that is just like you or me (if you happen to be a teenage male) suddenly thrown into a fantastic, life-or-death setting. Yes, it’s a pretty common trope across all genres (“You’re a wizard, Harry!”), but there is one special distinction in any given JRPG universe:

JRPGs run entirely on bloodshed.

Need to buy a new magic spell? A healing potion? A stay at an inn? Great! Please kill a number of living creatures until you have enough credits/gold/gil to afford whatever you want. Need to walk to the next town? Slaughter an entire colony of imps on your way! And there’s an evil empire that is standing between humanity and world peace? Well, you better believe you’re going to kill every soldier, general, and king in that empire before you’re done. Okay, maybe the king gets killed by a plotting usurper, but you’ll execute everybody else in the empire, guaranteed. You’re not actually earning gold from monsters, those sums are kickbacks from the local crypt keepers. You’re putting their kids through college!

So how does that relate to the average, “man on the street” JRPG hero? Well, study after study has shown that soldiers, men and women literally trained to kill and survive in combat situations, almost universally suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, aka a lifelong mental affliction that can have dramatic effects on a person’s personality. I’m not a psychologist, and I don’t want to mischaracterize anyone that may be suffering from PTSD, but, to say the least, we have discovered that sending people into life-or-death, harrowing situations can have some long-reaching consequences on the psyche.

And, nine times out of ten, when we revisit the typical JRPG hero in some manner of sequel material, the hero, who just spent entire days in life threatening situations, is…. Feelin’ fine.

Huh.

Shion, meanwhile, is not feelin’ fine after XS2.

Shion, as established early in XS1, is not a warrior. She’s a scientist, and she wants to be a therapist. She wants to help people. She wants to help Realians. She wants everyone to be happy and well-adjusted, and maybe there’s, like, a hug-o-dome where people can just go and get hugs. Close your eyes and see that beautiful world Shion wants for her and her friends. There are bunnies all over the place.

And then she spends a solid two weeks shooting missiles at people, Realians, and space monsters. An entire ship of people die, and she’s one of the only survivors. Virgil is gunned down by KOS-MOS before her very eyes. Shion explores a planet that has been turned into a hostile, fleshy mess. Cherenkov transforms into a literal gargoyle. The Kukai Foundation is nearly wiped out by a gnosis attack. Second Miltia, her current home, is threatened by an orbiting death satellite. An adolescent Realian is nearly lobotomized by an insane rapist. Shion returns to her childhood home, is forced to kill a pair of innocent children, and then watches an entire planet explode, all thanks to an exceedingly greedy pope. But we killed Albedo, or something? So mission complete, right? Smiles all around!

Then, during A Missing Year, Shion discovers that her employer might be responsible for all the strife in the universe (that she’s personally experienced), and winds up separated from KOS-MOS (her life’s work and best friend) and the Vector support staff (probably her only human friends, not like anybody on the Elsa ever writes). By the time XS3 starts, Shion is at the lowest, most depressed point in her life.

And it takes an entire game for her mood to improve. That’s kind of clever… except it means we have to put up with “Grouchy Shion” for an entire game. And she’s our POV character! That doesn’t leave the best impression…

Shion is Shion throughout XS3, she’s just a version of Shion that is not-very-subtly mad at everyone around her. She had to go through hell during XS1/XS2, and blames everyone for not letting her hang back on the Elsa and maybe miss that situation where she decides who lives and dies. She’s mad at everyone still working at Vector, because they’re still working for the enemy, and maybe incidentally get to still hang out with KOS-MOS, the jerks. She’s mad at her dead father for apparently being a bad guy all this time and ruining that perfect image of her khaki-clad parents. She’s mad at Jin because, ugh, Jin. In fact, that’s basically the crux of it, if you consider how Shion treated Jin in XS1/XS2, you can see exactly what is happening for most of XS3: she’s treating everybody like Jin.

And it’s irrational, but depression is irrational. She’s holding a grudge against everybody for circumstances outside of everyone’s control, and she can’t chastise Albedo, Pope Jerkass, or Papa Uzuki for some kind of catharsis. All that’s left is her friends, and, right around the time that KOS-MOS dies at T-elos’s hands, Shion is starting to feel more alone in the universe than ever. Think she seemed erratic and crazy during the time travel adventure? Well, try dealing with someone that is convinced there’s nothing good left in the world, and see if that person is making carefully reasoned decisions. Here’s a theory: Shion outright wanted to die at various points in XS3.

Again, not a good look for a character involved in a game where the entire moment-to-moment point is keeping the poor woman alive.

Which I think brings us neatly to Kevin Winnicot.



Kevin is everything wrong with Shion. You could probably rewrite Xenosaga to make Kevin a “second personality” of Shion or some other schlocky, Donald Kaufman twist, and you would have to change very little about the story. Kevin is obsessed with his crappy past, and, rather than heal the universe, he wants to clear the board and start all over, so at least he can re-experience earlier, happier moments. And consider that statement: he is so pessimistic that the only way he thinks he’ll be happy again is through finding a way to literally relive his past. That is practically the polar opposite of Shion’s final “there is hope” speech.

But it’s not the opposite of Shion’s thinking for much of XS3.

XS3 turns what was once a subliminal undercurrent into something a bit more superliminal: Shion only ever loved Kevin for the worst reasons. Oh, Kevin, you’re depressed about your terrible past? Me too! Want to build a robot that will destroy those that have wronged us? Me too! Even when you reexamine the “sweeter” flashback scenes of XS1, you see that Shion’s thinking was… not the healthiest in the world. Oh, Kevin, you think KOS-MOS might have a heart? That’s cool! I bet she’ll be my best friend forever because she’ll be immortal and never die and leave me like everyone else in my life! Shion’s relationship with Kevin, upon examination, was toxic. It was a relationship between two addicts (addicted to wallowing in the pain of their past) mutually poisoning each other to a world that had spurned them. And I will remind you that they were building a walking weapon that is capable of destroying planets.

But, in Shion’s mind, it was the best relationship she ever had.

So, yes, it takes a lot for Shion to get over that relationship, which brings us to the other man in Shion’s life.

Allen Ridgeley is Shion’s near constant companion.



Even before KOS-MOS awakens, Allen is there, and his introduction is chastising Shion for being reckless, and then literally saving her life. It happened! It was the first thing he really did!



But Allen is also a complete weenie for much of the franchise. He is mocked by his subordinates, he is mocked by complete strangers who just met him (oh, hi Junior), and, most damning of all, he is directly mocked by Shion on multiple occasions. She asks him, “are you even a man?” at one point. You do not want to hear that from your crush.

But Allen perseveres! Despite everything, he’s right there with Shion through nearly the entire franchise. And, yes, Shion might not immediately recognize Allen as a man, but she does recognize that Allen is trustworthy and reliable. When Shion quits Vector, she leaves KOS-MOS in the care of Allen, as opposed to making a typically Shion move and kidnapping her favorite bot. Shion is trusting Allen with her heart right there, whether she acknowledges it or not. And there’s evidence Shion cares about Allen, albeit in a “he’s my friend” way. When Shion joins the terrorist organization Scientia, she recruits Miyuki as her inside gal, not Allen, and does her best to shield Allen from her highly illegal activities. Shion knows that Allen is a straight arrow, and does nothing to endanger her friend’s milquetoast disposition. Shion cares about Allen, she just doesn’t consider that there might be any useful equipment under his Vector onesie.

And then it all comes to a head one room away from the final boss. Kevin asks Shion for her hand in universal destruction, and Shion is all about it. Allen objects, and must be made to suffer excruciating pain so Shion can finally see that her friends are her friends, and they really have been supporting her this entire time. Allen’s words are perfect: Allen has been here the whole time, trying to help Shion in every way he can, and Kevin spent all of his time skulking around Wilhelm’s space pyramid. Your real friends aren’t the imagined “best boyfriend ever” you’ve constructed in your mind, no, what’s really important are the people that have been there the whole time, assisting you in any way they can. Allen is obviously the heart of that scene, but, in a way, it could be any one of Realian Justice Warriors taking those hits from Kevin, and proving to Shion that it’s not about the person that stays immaculate in your mind because he never gets his hands dirty, it’s the ones that are in the mud with you that really matter.

Allen may have been the most… crapped upon character in the franchise, but that actually strengthens his position in the moral of Xenosaga: don’t spend your life pining for some pretend past perfection that is never going to happen, move on to a future that is messy and involves a guy that soils his onesie lot. Allen is the chaotic, unknown future. Kevin is repeating an endless loop that never accomplishes anything worthwhile. Allen is love, Kevin is masturbation.

But, even in the end, Allen never gets that final true love’s kiss. The best Allen can hope for is that Shion opens herself up to the idea of an Allen relationship, and maybe some light hand holding. I’ve seen fifth grade dances that were less chaste than Allen’s ending. No, sorry you giant weeny, you don’t get the reigns of the true love story of Xenosaga, that belongs to…

KOS-MOS, the girl most likely to secretly be a biblical character.



KOS-MOS is complicated, because, for almost the entire franchise, she’s there to prove that Shion is completely insane. She’s practically Michigan J. Frog: Shion takes her eyes off her favorite bot for more than ten seconds, and she’s sporting blue eyes and asking about feeling pain, but then when Shion checks the logs for some sign of a personality, nope, KOS-MOS is just your basic combat android. This somehow continues on for three games, and, while KOS-MOS indisputably cares for Shion, it’s difficult to discern whether that is just “protect Shion” programming or that cyber heart that Shion so desperately wants KOS-MOS to have. And it’s a fun trick, too, because the audience has expectations for KOS-MOS, too. She’s got a big secret, right? She’s going to turn out to have a heart, just like every fictional robot ever, right? In a way, we’re in the exact same boat as Shion, we all are constantly wishing that KOS-MOS is going to give us another sign of that inevitable “real” KOS-MOS.

And then we get Mary Magdalene. Fun fact: Mary Magdalene is a trick.

Mary Magdalene is there for everyone that played Xenosaga Episode 1, and then spent the next four years on Gamefaqs message boards trying to discover the “secret” of KOS-MOS. Mary is there so you could, upon the invention of time travel, go back to your younger self, and slap around the poor nitwit with, “See! It was Mary Magdalene the whole time! It was so obvious!” Mary is there to teach you that mysteries are stupid.

And I realize this might be silly coming from an update that has already repeatedly disparaged a number of characters for being “bad mysteries”. But the important distinction here is that Wilhelm, the gnosis, and even chaos are all mostly only mysteries. Remove the “what’s he up to” aspect of Wilhelm, and he’s nothing. Remove the “what are they” aspect of the gnosis, and they’re just random monsters. Remove “what are chaos’s origins”, and all we have is a well-meaning immortal. In other words, when so much emphasis is placed on the mystery, and that mystery goes nowhere, the character is a failure, because nothing is left. For more information on this phenomena, please watch Lost.

But, like in Lost, for some characters, the mystery was never the point. KOS-MOS, despite being the covergirl for the entire franchise, is, like Allen and Kevin, another character that boils down to an accessory for Shion. KOS-MOS is an unstoppable, awesome weapon for war, but she’s also (whether she wants to be or not) Shion’s best friend from the moment of her activation. She’s cold and distant, yes, but she also saves Shion’s life on numerous occasions, and Shion gets to repay the favor in kind multiple times over the course of XS3. Shion cares about KOS-MOS deeply, and it’s clearly more than the simple bond between a scientist and her creation. I haven’t seen Professor hugging Erde Kaiser at all.

And then it’s revealed that Mary Magdalene and Shion had a relationship in a past life. We know nothing of that relationship (whether it was strictly friendly, familial, or even romantic), but we know that Mary trusted Ancient Shion finally and absolutely. This proves KOS-MOS loves Shion, right? All this time, she wasn’t just operating on programming, she’s devoted to Shion, not just the “Chief of Vector”. Jackpot!

Except… That’s Mary, not KOS-MOS. The past is important, but that’s not the present. Shion barely remembers being Ancient Shion, and Mary is not KOS-MOS. She sees through different eyes.

But that all changes during the finale, when KOS-MOS, not Mary, sacrifices the known universe to protect Shion. Yes, KOS-MOS is protecting Shion like she always has, but Mary admits that she would have been unable to make such choice. KOS-MOS, now finally 100% operating with a more overt “heart”, chooses Shion over everything else in the universe, because what’s the point in the world being saved if you can’t enjoy that world with the one you love? KOS-MOS then goes on to guarantee Shion’s safe escape, but not before promising Shion that she’ll see her again. KOS-MOS says that, not Mary. KOS-MOS will miss Shion because KOS-MOS loves Shion.

And then there’s the ultimate finale of Xenosaga. We know Shion is hightailing it to Earth to save the universe. That’s cool and all, but the final shot of Xenosaga doesn’t care about that. The final moments of Xenosaga reveal that KOS-MOS has been sent Earthward, too. When Shion finally reaches Earth, she’ll save the galaxy, yes, but what’s more important is that a friend will be there, waiting for her.

In the end, Xenosaga was never about mysteries or ghosts or rebooted universes, it was about the friendship between two women, and what they’d do for each other to find happiness together. The real Xenosaga was the friends we made along the way.

What is the final moral of Xenosaga? Don’t be a gnosis, don’t reject humanity. Love those that are close to you, never give up on those feelings, and maybe you’ll make the universe a better place for everybody.



There’s always the hope of a new dawn, and maybe you’ll be together again.

Thanks for reading, everybody.

Next time on Xenosaga: Well, that’s cool, but how does it smell? One final rundown of the nuts and bolts of the Xenosaga awaits you. Are you ready for me to stop waxing poetic about robots and start complaining about presentation? Please look forward to it!

I assume the LP audience has been enjoying a holiday vacation. Well, I haven't!

Previously on Xenosaga: 10,229 pictures, 429 days, 2.74 gigs of data, and one curry recipe that no one ever seems to acknowledge.



Okay, it’s taken me a while to narrow down exactly how to approach this update. I’ve got it down to:

� Xenosaga Episode 3 is the worst game in the franchise.
� Xenosaga Episode 3 is the best game in the franchise.

You see my dilemma.

Eh, let’s take it one step at a time.

Worst Xenosaga Ever

First and foremost, the decision to hop over to boring text boxes over any other choice was… ill advised.



Xenosaga has always been all about that magical dream from the 80’s: the playable movie. It started back in Xenogears… hell, it started back in Final Fantasy 2… but Xenosaga was always, always more about the story than anything else. This was never a Kingdom Hearts situation where a vestigial “excuse plot” eventually grew to consume everything it could find; no, Xenosaga was meant to be an “epic” from its inception. Hell, it’s right there in the title: you don’t call yourself a “saga” if you’re focusing on the gameplay.

So it’s a major blow to the franchise when the presentation of that story takes a backseat. Yes, it was likely due to budget and time concerns, and, yes, I would argue that getting an Episode 3 at all is better than no Episode 3 because no one can afford to animate Allen stress-puking for the eighteenth time, but it’s still a blow to the audience. Sitting around reading a series of text boxes has never been fun, but it’s compounded by holy crap did you read that update that was 4,000 words just explaining what happened in the ending? Admit it, Xenosaga fans, you fell asleep when Wilhelm’s soothing voice started elucidating how rebooting the universe and cycle of rebirth and circle circle circle is this done yet?

In short, the episode of Xenosaga that required the most dramatic staging to keep your brain entertained got stuck with text box after text box. No. Bad, Xenosaga. Bad.



And it’s not like the gameplay rushes to fill in the gaps. The battle system of Xenosaga Episode 3 is the absolute most boring it’s ever been. XS1 featured a battle system that was kind of an evolution of Xenogears that focused on building strength for special attacks (remember death blows?), and the challenge was knowing how and when to upgrade those special attacks, and choosing which special attacks to bring to a random battle. XS2 introduced a radically different battle system that relied on “breaking” an opponent, and then using that window to pile on the weakpoint damage. The average fight took forever, but it was a new and interesting way to interpret a JRPG battle. In XS3, we’ve got… Fight, Magic, Item, and Run. Wow. Revolutionary. Maybe we’ll knock down Garland later.

And even the “variety” in this battle system seems entirely perfunctory. By about the midpoint of the game, you should never choose the “fight” command, because you’ve likely got a better spell or tech to use every round. Except… 90% of those spells and techs seem like Fire1-Fire2-Fire3 affairs, so you’re only ever using the most powerful spell/tech available, and the rest of your rapidly expanding “spell list” is superfluous. In a weird way, this entire battle systems feels like something that would be the ancestor of the XS1 special attack system (hey, why don’t we just eliminate all these useless level 1 spells and make the best attack level up with the character?), as opposed to its descendant. XS3 has the most boring, rote battle system in the entire franchise, and, were it not for the break gauge, it would be practically indistinguishable from 8-bit JRPGs.



And don’t think I forgot about XS3 being the only Xenosaga game that continually requires stopping at shops and upgrading everyone’s equipment. XS2 eliminated money (almost) entirely, and XS1 didn’t require store bought upgrades for some characters (like, say, the one-of-a-kind battle android that was just activated yesterday), but XS3 revels in requiring a daily trip to the local store for not only your characters, but their ESes as well. I know this is standard JRPG fair, but the lack of shops in XS2 really streamlined things. Did people think that was too easy? It wasn’t because the promise of shops in XS3 allowed for more options, because you’re almost always only buying a +2 sword to replace your +1 sword. There’s no thinking here, just mindless consumerism. You upgrade because thou must.

Only the Best

And all that said? This was my most enjoyable experience in the whole Xenosaga franchise.



Full disclosure: there were a few points in this complete LP where the whole thing nearly stopped, and I was this close to hanging up the controller. XS1’s Cathedral Ship? Terrible. Come to think of it, the only good dungeon in that game was The Song of Nephilim, and even that had a lot of same-y hallways at the start. And XS2 had that stupid dungeon that was the exact same dungeon, but, ya know, whiter. And those sidequests? Holy crap, I never want to see a sewer again in another videogame for any reason. And never mind that the average XS2 battle against anything stronger than a slime takes at least five minutes. That does not make for a happy Goggle Bob when a random dungeon has to be revisited for some stupid trinket. And it’s not just about “this part sucks”, it’s about “this part sucks, and oh God am I going to have to do this crap again because this is only the first dungeon noooooo I can’t do this”. You will note that, yes, I finished all these Xenosaga games (with only minor cheating!), but there were definitely some points where that completion was in question.

Xenosaga Episode 3? Not a single spot where I wanted to quit forever.



Okay, yes, Merkabah is a lousy dungeon, but it was bolstered by every other dungeon in this game being better than previous experiences. And, at the end, Merkabah revealed itself to be a plot-mandated waste of time. That’s clever! It’s like Xenosaga recognized the crap it put its audience through in previous games, and said, “Hey, yeah, sorry, we know a lousy dungeon when we see one.” This doesn’t mean Xenosaga Episode 3 has the best dungeons on the PS2, but it does mean, if I were somehow forced to replay one of the Xenosaga games again, I’d definitely choose XS3, no question.

Xenosaga Episode 3’s various systems might be rote and predictable, but they go down smooth. Couple this with the persistent feeling that you’re actually accomplishing something in this episode (as opposed to the all-prelude previous episodes), and Xenosaga Episode 3 winds up feeling better than every other Xenosaga experience. XS3, miraculously, is the first Xenosaga that begs for more content because the game is actually good, and not because you just need more answers to these unending questions.



Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

So, the title of this LP has always been “Xenosaga: What Went Wrong?” We’ve just completed the entire franchise, so let’s answer that question as succinctly as possible.

The most obvious culprit here is pacing. Xenosaga Episode 1 was intended as the first chapter in a six part series, and it drags its feet slower than my dear, deceased grandma. By the end of XS1, all of the characters have been introduced… and that’s it. Whole lot of set up, complete lack of resolution. Then came XS2, which continued the XS1 story, and, by and large, ended it. MOMO, Ziggy, Junior, Albedo, and even Shion all got pretty worthwhile story “finales”, and the series could have ended right there, were it not for some lingering KOS-MOS/chaos mysteries. This left us with XS3, a game that had to create new problems for some of the cast (Shion/PTSD & daddy issues, Junior/Yuriev & daddy issues, KOS-MOS/T-elos & her daddy issues), and then resolve those issues, and satisfactorily resolve every dangling concern that ever existed in the franchise. This would be a difficult task for a staff that was still receiving complete resources, as opposed to the reality of the situation, which seemed to be that Namco was pumping this one out apparently out of obligation more than anything else. So maybe that was the problem? Monolithsoft never knew how much Xenosaga was “left”, so we got an Episode 1 that assumed there would be five more sequels, an Episode 2 that played it safe and tried to wrap up nearly everything, and an Episode 3 that had to quickly reboot and close the franchise. That kind of thinking makes it easier to forgive a few hiccups.

But then again…

Let’s look at Xenosaga Episode 3 again. What we have is a pretty basic story about how Shion got her groove back: start off with the establishment of her depression, and then we get the band back together through her eyes. We’re then hurled back in time so we can explore our heroine’s tragic past a little more. And then… it’s the Junior show, and Yuriev is the main threat. Then Yuriev is off the board, and we’re back to… Michtam and Ziggy’s past? Canaan, where did you come from? Jin, you had a relationship with Pellegri? Or was it Margulis? No, wait, nevermind, we’re back to Shion again, and KOS-MOS is Mary Magdalene, and Wilhelm has an evil plan, and… oh, it’s over. Shion and KOS-MOS got to hug a few times, and maybe they’ll be reunited through the sequel hook. Thanks for playing!

Obviously, the game had pacing problems. Even the final dungeon had ridiculous issues. It starts off like a Mega Man X style “Sigma Castle”: a long series of “final challenges” punctuated with plot significant bosses that all have something important to say before exploding. But then there’s the KOS-Mary room, and suddenly there’s this entirely new plot thread that involves Jesus Christ. And then... another two indistinct hallways? And then we’ve got the biggest Shion emotional moment in the franchise that ties up three games worth of pining… and then the final boss and a plan that barely has anything to do with all that. And did I mention how long that entire area took?



We started the final dungeon at 19:41…



And cleared the game at 24:26? The final dungeon alone took over four hours. That’s, what, 20% of my entire playtime? How could that have been a good idea?



And I don’t want to consider how long it took on my original, less-informed playthrough.

Yes, I’m going to say it: Monolithsoft has no idea how to pace even one videogame (see also: Xenogears), so there’s no damn way a trilogy or sextology was ever going to come together properly. Don’t get me wrong, this franchise isn’t a complete failure, it just… has some issues, and those issues dramatically affect its message and “fun”.

And speaking of impacting the message, I’m going to call out the graphic changes here. I particularly noticed it going through the old chapters of this LP, but Shion, KOS-MOS, and the entire cast change dramatically from game to game…



And it gets distracting when you’re trying to reconcile character growth and changes. It’s one thing to ask the audience to accept XS3’s Cranky Shion as the same endless fountain of compassion that we saw in XS1, but it’s another thing entirely when it seems like she’s mutated into an entirely different person. It’s one of those subconscious things, but it’s a lot easier to claim character assassination when it seems like the old character doesn’t even exist anymore.

Also, it’s pretty clear that covergirl KOS-MOS got an upgrade every game to sell toys. Hey, whatever pays for more Jin/Margulis swordfights.

And, finally, (and likely related to the two previous problems), Xenosaga as a whole lacked cohesion. It seems like Xenosaga wanted to have its Final Fantasy and eat it too: we’ve got three games with three totally different battle systems, commerce systems, and mech systems. We’ve got wildly different character models from game to game, and, in many cases, a vacillating “star”. As I noted repeatedly, it seemed like there was some confusion over whether Junior or Shion should be the star of the show, and the two rarely seemed to work together. When Junior was leading, Shion barely spoke, and when Shion was the focus, Junior was basically there to act confused. And remember that glorious hour during the opening of XS1 when Ziggy was the lead? Good times.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it leads to a very jumbled experience. The whole of the ending had practically nothing to do with Junior, Ziggy, or MOMO, so if they were your favorite characters, I can see how you might quickly forget what happened. chaos might have been Jesus? Who cares? When I started this LP, I commented that I had forgotten much of the ending of XS3, and that was after years of pouring over XS1 data. Why did that happen? Well, I’m pretty confident in blaming the scattershot way the rest of the franchise covered… everything. For anyone that finished XS1, but then didn’t ever get around to XS3, I don’t blame you. It is, in many ways, an entirely different experience.

And does that work? Does Xenosaga work? Well, yes, but only to a point. This franchise does not feel like the original Star Wars Trilogy, or even the prequel Star Wars Trilogy. We’ve got all the same characters for three games, but there isn’t enough interconnection to make it all feel linked. Xenosaga seems like it would be a lot more comfortable being another Final Fantasy experience, where maybe the plots are related and some familiar terms pop up, but they’re largely independent. One way or another, Xenosaga the Saga falters at its biggest selling point. This is an epic, multi-part videogame, but only in the most superficial ways.

But is Xenosaga, the whole franchise that spanned six years, a bad experience? No. It’s a fun little (big) JRPG, and I don’t regret having played through this franchise twice in ten years. Assuming you can look past its foibles, and deal with its more… mind-numbing… bad sections, Xenosaga is a worthwhile series of videogames. It’s no Citizen Kane, but it’s no Ishtar, either. For a sequel to the most published book of all time, Xenosaga ain’t a bad time.

Final Xenosaga Rating: Hopeful MOMO



“Okay! Good job!”

Next time on Xenosaga: The Xenosaga FAQ to answer all your questions!

The Bible II - Let's Get Biblical!

Uh...

The Bible II - The Revenge!

Hm...

The Bible II - Bigger, Longer, and Uncut!

How Mary Magdalene got her groove back.

The Bible II - Bible Harder.

...

Bible II : Electric Bibaloo

American McGee's The Bible.

I do have one thought to add: I think Xenosaga and Xenogears basically followed the same developmental line. Exciting opening with lots of mysteries and interesting characters, wrapping up a great deal of the less interesting characters by the mid point, suffering massive budget cuts that reduce things to long reads with a finale that kind of compresses in a great epic ending by the end. Or at least that's how it seems to me. Funny that.

Oh! And I should be posting the FAQ around the end of the week, so speak now with your questions! Haven't seen a bad one yet!

What hair conditioner does KOS-MOS use to get that silky sheen?