Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

I like how the E.S. tutorial seems to point at a much deeper battle system than it actually is, but...honestly battles are just giant things ramming into each other with the occasional giant laser.

This first E.S. dungeon is a perfectly okay, dull sequence. I really like the music though. Very atmospheric. Could have done without all the backtracking, but that's what this series does!

Next update: I hear you like upsetting, vague dungeons that take way too long!

Previously on Xenosaga: Great! Now we’re all inside the time/space sphere with the Elsa, and we have to explore some freaky temple on foot because the ESes decided to crap out. Today is not going well.



Here’s Shion (representing the entire party in proper JRPG fashion) at the temple entrance. Fun fact, as we’ll discover, this place is 6,000 years old (or thereabouts). It’s held up well for being flung into space.



There’s a secret waiting for the person that can stick the proper thingy in this pedestal. In fact, there’s an entire extra dungeon available here, but we won’t be able to access it this update.



This is one of those ancient temples that is equipped with mysteriously efficient freestanding elevators.



On the way up, we get a preview of that bonus dungeon I mentioned a moment ago. Don’t worry, we’re not missing much.



Here we are, top(ish) floor, home of the gnosis. This is actually the first we’re seeing random gnosis in the game (the previous creatures were either bosses or in cutscenes), and we’ve got our old buddy Goblin hulking around.



Whether it’s deliberate or a happy accident, the gnosis of this area are up-ressed XS1 baddies, so the first monster gnosis of the game are from the first Xenosaga game. Symmetry!



Kill a few gnosis, grab an elevator.



And here’s where the dungeon gets… if not fun… at least interesting.



The gimmick of this temple involves pressing a series of switches to make bridges out of free floating Tetris blocks.



The general idea is to create bridges that take you where you want to go, like to these giant crystals that can be blasted for treasure, or the elevator to the next section.



You have to use a little foresight and press the switches in the proper order to access all the treasure, but nothing (valuable) is permanently missable.



At worst, you’ll have to backtrack along these platforms and deactivate a switch, but it’s okay, because the monsters don’t respawn. You should probably kill the wandering gnosis at least once, though.



Gnosis are back to dropping random gnosis items, incidentally. All this salt should really spice up that prosciutto.



See? Here’s one of those deals where you have to go in the right order to get the treasure. In general, you can tell where paths will be if you look at the glowy orb things that apparently hold up the blocks. They’re like buttresses or something? I don’t know, I’m not a magical architect.



Tired of this floor, let’s move on.



The next area involves our first “trick” with the moving blocks. If you activate this switch willy-nilly, it will shoot a block across the room that will inadvertently release a group of gnosis. Each one of those gremlins is an individual battle… but there’s also a lot of treasure that way, so it works out. Just a warning not to be careless with these switches, I guess.



You may recall the gremlins from XS1 (the blue sucker on the left) had a nasty acid rain counterattack that healed itself and damaged the party. That’s gone now. Hooray! Pretty much all the gnosis in this area are early game weak.



Hey, an update file. Considering these are completely unique items that “require” 100% for a sidequest, you’re definitely going to want to “accidentally” release/fight those gnosis.



Speaking of unique items, you have to press a switch on the second floor and then return to the first to obtain this decoder. Again, the enemies don’t respawn, so it’s just a matter of walking once you realize you’ve hit the right switch.



There’s an item in that crystal in the back there, but if you press that switch, it’ll shatter and fall into nothingness. It’s just a consumable, so no big deal, but it’s still a good idea to be cautious.



Okay, we’re done with that nonsense now. The next floor is just a hallway with some gnosis.



Lotta stairs.



Oh yes, there’s a status effect that is unique to gnosis that is called crystallization. Remember how gnosis turn people to salt? Well, that is simulated with a “gnosis touch” that basically works like the gradual stone status effect in Final Fantasy 4. If you don’t cure an afflicted party member (and the cure is a consumable item [Anti-Crystal] you can find all over this dungeon), you’ll have a pillar of salt on your hands in about three turns. I’m moderately sure the gnosis bosses up to this point did not have this ability, but you see it a lot in this tomb.



Note that you can use a G Vaccine to vaccinate your party against the crystallization. In a fun bit of story/gameplay synergy, chaos naturally has permanent 100% immunity. He can handle gnosis just fine, remember?



This is basically where the dungeon ends. We’ve still got a lot to do this update, but the whole “explore/random monsters” bit is over. Two floors of hallways, two floors of weak puzzles… this place isn’t bad, honestly. At least it’s more interesting to look at than most XS dungeons.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Blast through a crack in the wall from the last image and you’ll find a way up and out. Why does this room give me Skyward Sword vibes?



Did anyone catch if there was a sun in the area? And if light could get through that sphere we had to puncture? Oh, who cares? This place is vaguely sunny for some reason.



Shion has a sudden flash of recognition.



I love how much Xenosaga expects you to have instant recall of the whole of the, what, are we at fifty hours yet? Even if you played these games continuously (which I can safely say I did not for my first run through), you probably won’t remember one two minute dream Shion had back on the Woglinde.



But it did happen. Twice, actually, though most people probably remember ol’ Purple Cross Face Strickland more than the dream he interrupts.



And XS3 does throw the tiniest of bones to try to jog your memory.



Aaaaaand headache. I tried tallying these things, but then I got a headache.



“IT’S NOTHING SHUT-UP LET’S GO FOLLOW THAT GHOST!”



And, finally, the entire landmass that was identified as Rennes-le-Chateau now gets the traditional area subtitle. I guess this crypt is specifically RLC? Is chaos providing these area markers?



6,000 year old piece of humanity’s history… let’s blow up random gravestones for potential items.



Pay dirt! Beneath one of the markers is a staircase.



It leads to a treasure chest that, unfortunately, does not provide the Magic Cape. The rest of the area you see here is that optional dungeon, again, but it’s still inaccessible.



Back up into the open air that somehow exists here. Blast some rocks and you’ll find the way forward.



Down some stairs, and… this place looks familiar.



Phht, never seen a tomb before, Jin? Come on, you visit your parents’ grave like every ten minutes.



Some of the crypt is damaged. Wonder what happened here?



Hey! That’s the name of one of our giant robots!



OH MY GOD WE’RE PILOTING GIANT CORPSES!!! … No, wait, that can’t be right.



You’re given a moment to explore this area on your own, but, disappointingly, you can’t “click” on the tombs and read all the ES names. Kingdom Hearts 2 did this area so much better.



And at the back is that stone cross and coffin from KOS-MOS’s subconscious from XS1 and the intro to XS3 (and a little bit of the end of last update).



I just said that!



Remember back when it seemed like KOS-MOS knew things? I want to say it was around XS1…



You can investigate the coffin… But maybe it’s better if you didn’t?



But please do blow up the wall behind the cross.



Alright! We got… something… from this hidden coffin.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Oh, what a convenient item description. This is what is required to access the bonus dungeon at the start of this dungeon. If you miss this item, you’re unlikely to ever find it (because there isn’t much of a reason to return to this distinct area), but if you do pick it up, the next time you feel like hitting the UMN, you may return and play with the bonus dungeon. We’ll be doing that in the customary side quest update.



We can’t do it now, because the minute you leave the KOS-COFFIN…



A cinema scene attacks! KOS-MOS! Dance!



T-elos! I should have known! … Wait, what?



Well, she’s an anti-gnosis weapon, right? Maybe she wanted to help out?



Oh, of course, the Thirteenth Key. Lemme just check my inventory… Nope, nothing here. Guess you can go home now.



Fun fact: Shion and Allen (who is back on the Elsa) are the only characters that ever saw T-elos. Everybody else is like, “who dis?”



Junior notes that the designers of Xenosaga were super lazy just making a KOS-MOS palette swap.



And chaos is concerned for some reason. Geez, when was the last time that kid was surprised?



T-elos retracts the helmet for the first time, and…



You know what that means!



Booooooss battle!



T-elos has the unique “machine-human” designation. This is convenient, as it allows you to use both “works on machines” and “works on humans” attacks against her. She’s also weak to electricity (stupid bot), and strong against beam (not coincidentally KOS-MOS’s specialty).



She’s got a decently sized break gauge, but it doesn’t mean you can’t try for a break. Ziggy’s choke is great for inflicting BL damage, and we’ll see that get used a lot more when we’re facing soldiers. In the meanwhile, though T-elos has a pretty resilient neck.



Like Virgil last update, T-elos interrupts the battle to taunt the party when she’s getting ready to unleash a super attack.



The battle is pretty chill up to this point, but here is where she can start abusing her rapidly filling boost gauge and use her super attack, T-SKYLLA. You really want to make sure your break gauge is healed before suffering that attack, else you might be low on HP and stunned for a round.



KOS-MOS finishes the battle with her special gatling gun. This is amusing because…



Post battle, the “canon” end of the fight is… KOS-MOS using her gatling gun. In the LP biz, we call this “looking like you know what you’re doing”.



Number of storyline boss fights in Xenosaga that have been solved by the actual fight: zero.



Junior is proud of that battle in which he had no involvement.



Hey! It was only three times back during her introduction!



At this point, the rest of the party is still looking at a smoking crater, so what gives, KOS-MOS?



Right.



T-elos joins the ranks of Margulis, Albedo, Pellegri, and Pope Jackhole for the “battle is over, not a scratch on her” club.



So a frankly amazing fight scene begins. If you’re wondering where the XS3 budget went, it was all to animate two super robots blowing up a cave. I suppose that is better than Allen/Miyuki hijinks.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Seriously, find whoever put these scenes together and get ‘em on a DBZ movie.



Of course, the whole battle has a number of deliberate allusions to “gee, these two characters are pretty similar… but different!”



“Hey, remember when we were all fighting T-elos a minute ago?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, why aren’t we doing that now?”
“Ham break.”
“Oh.”



And here to explain why T-elos is winning is our good buddy Roth.



“Seriously! We had to puncture space and time and go through two dungeons to get here!”



Shion also makes reference to the only time this will ever come up: “that task” that was mentioned for like six seconds back in the dump was apparently some Roth-brand malware meant to analyze KOS-MOS’s battle patterns. Guess that explains why KOS-MOS can’t beat T-elos when Kossy has a year’s worth of experience on her.



Guess Roth is big into the whole prophecy thing.



He just told you!



Oh snap, Roth Mantel was Red Testament this whole time. Yes, as Yama pointed out, “Roth” is an old German/Jewish nickname for a redhead (from the Middle High German “rot” for “red”), and “Mantel” is just “mantle”, which also means cloak. It’s simultaneously clever, ancient, and really obvious.

Incidentally, I wonder if this whole “Roth” thing was just to give Red Testament another potential identity. I want to say everyone figured out Red was secretly Kevin in XS1, so, four years later, “Roth” was introduced so there’s at least a little tension before Red/Roth finally reveals himself as Kevin in a few hours. Bonus personality to throw people off the scent, or an easy excuse to have a new jerkass creeping on Shion? Either explanation works.



Shion seems unnaturally shocked, but, then again, the last time she saw Red Testament, he did vaporize the Space Pope.



And apparently Red sees this as something like a Pokémon battle…



Speaking of which.



KOS-MOS loses her robot tiara to a properly placed slash.



Woof… uh… Write your own caption for this one. Try not to use the phrase “glowing poop”.



KOS-MOS admits that this battle is not going in her direction.



“Does the rest of the party get a vote?”
“No.”



And T-elos is swinging our heroine around like a ragdoll. Just keep watching, guys!



Every time KOS-MOS appears to be down, T-elos focuses on Shion, and KOS-MOS gets a second (third… fourth…) wind.



“Please do not attack my creator. I do not wish to spend another six months with Allen.”



Incidentally, this 6,000 year old tomb is getting wrecked.



Hey, Junior decides to lend his bullets to KOS-MOS’s gatling gun. Let’s see here… he probably gets off one shot for every 12,000 KOS-MOS fires. Actually, maybe I understand why the rest of the party isn’t trying at this point…




“Hey, bottles are empty vessels, and they helped save Hyrule!”



“How pathetic. You'll never be able to accomplish anything. Return to dust, so that I may truly... awaken!”

Welp, at least T-elos knows what she wants.



And now her boob window is generating its own Spirit Bomb.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Remember how KOS-MOS needed all that extra kit to fire a phase transfer cannon last update? And then she lost it? Well T-elos can fire a phase transfer cannon with her tits. You do not want to know what she can do with dat ass.



One simple trick to destroy ancient history. Archeologists hate these guys!



Shion’s necklace decides to start glowing. Is the magical sun hitting it or something?



KOS-MOS is going to palm this phase transfer blast. Remember that a phase transfer cannon is capable of puncturing space and time, so her hand probably isn’t going to cut it.



But, hey, maybe I’m wrong.



Nope. Always right. Can you make out Ziggy just blasting off the edge there?



Hard to see in the still, but KOS-MOS taking a cannon to the face is not good for her maintenance.



But the rest of the party is kind of okay. Shion’s necklace is still strobing, so I guess it wasn’t just an errant beam.



K.O.!



Here’s the Shion eye witness camera.



And Shion briefly imagines T-elos as some random woman in the desert. I think this is what happens after all those “headaches”.



“KOS-MOS! No! Please stop!”

Honey, I think she’s plenty stopped.



No, “cosmos” means order. “Telos” means “ultimate purpose”. Please update your database.



If Shion activates her own phase transfer cannon, I’ll be so happy.



You’re still here?



Hey! Been a while, but KOS-MOS goes back into blue eyes mode. Haven’t seen that since Episode 1.



Nobody asks about when chaos lights up like a menorah…



This is either an amazingly mystical moment, or Virgil left his cell phone in that coffin just for kicks.



Who’s that Pokémon?



Red Testament makes a request as the mysterious light extends to envelop the entire floating landmass.



Mary and Shelley… just chilling, hanging outside the orb. Everyone else on the Durandal is probably wondering when they’re finally going to leave this boring sector of empty space.



And the Space-Time Sphere explodes and contracts and… something? Whatever, just don’t look directly at it.



We are a third of the way through the third game in the series, don’t you dare say nonsense like this, Wilhelm!



Yes, deeply ancient mystical piece of Earth. It’s important! We get it!



Really, guys? Show us the bot that just nearly vaporized our entire party?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And we end Chapter 3 at the six hour mark. This is the end of the first third of XS3, so let’s talk about that.

Xenosaga Episode 3 follows a pretty rigid three act structure. This is traditional in a lot of stories, but you’d be forgiven for not expecting it here, as Xenosaga Episode 1 and 2 do not follow that same guideline (XS1 was basically all Act 1 [particularly if you consider Albedo’s actions less “plot” and more “this is establishing his character”] and XS2 was… just a mess… but more or less two completely separate stories). XS3 has a clear beginning, middle, and end, and… that’s mostly a good thing.

In case it’s been a while since you took Freshman English, the three act structure that XS3 so slavishly follows is:

Act 1: Establish characters, what they want, and how they might obtain it.
Act 2: Let those characters “enter the fray” and journey into some mystery/unusual circumstances.
Act 3: Hastily tie up 60 hours of dangling plot threads.

We just wrapped up Act 1, so let’s look at where our characters stand.

� Shion: Has more daddy issues than Parenting Monthly, is experiencing a mysterious illness, wants to reconnect with other humans.

� KOS-MOS: Is probably not dead.

� Allen: Wants to see Shion happy.

� chaos: Wants to see a universe where people can change the world.

� Jin: N/A

� Ziggy: N/A

� MOMO: N/A

� Junior: Maybe his brother is alive?

Aaaand that’s all we got. Taking Episode 3 as its own entity, we currently know more about T-elos than Ziggy, and that seems wrong.

It might not be all bad, though. There’s nothing wrong with Xenosaga taking a more focused approach to its characters. Shion and KOS-MOS (and chaos on the periphery) have been important characters from moment one (well, maybe a few moments after the Zohar was introduced), so if we’re hanging the finale on those two, well, we could do worse.

But…

Xenosaga Episode 3 is here to wrap up everyone’s story. Ziggy, for instance, had the “mystery” of “just like that day” from Episode 1, a rival that was introduced in Episode 2, and an entire spinoff game. All of that is supposed to pay off here in the final chapter… but the dude has had like three lines of dialogue all game so far. We will inevitably get that payoff at the end of his story, but, at this point, he’s almost a complete nonentity. If you’re playing XS3 divorced from its auxiliary materials (or haven’t played some of the contributing games for years) though, well, it might get a little confusing when Ziggy suddenly has pathos because a dude in a black cloak shows up.

Just something to keep in mind as we move forward. This is the Shion show, and not everyone following this plot had the convenience of a clickable table of contents.



Anyway, seems like kind of a downer to end the update with the party potentially space dust, so let’s move forward a little bit to see Shion’s sex hair.



What we have here is an obvious flashback to Shion and Kevin back in happier, mostly naked times. Incidentally, I really appreciate the outfits they chose here. These things are always subjective, but post-sex “she’s wearing an oversized shirt, he just grabbed some pants” seems very real to me… for… no particular reason.

Also, there's probably some deliberate visual motif between Shion's white shirt/underwear combo and KOS-MOS's usual "outfit".



Anyway, as no doubt would happen with two scientists that are building an anti-gnosis weapon, the pillow talk turns to discussing hulking space monsters. “4000 years of no aliens, and now we’ve got mutant ghosts trying to kill us.”



Again with the surprisingly clever dialogue. Here’s everything you need to know about Shion and Kevin: Shion believes everything, even the gnosis, has a purpose. Kevin thinks the only thing the gnosis want is wanton destruction.



Symmetry! Act 2 starts with a character talking about what happened at the start of Act 1.



“Sometimes, I don't know if what I'm doing is to atone for not being able to do anything, or to take revenge against those who took everything from me.”

Oh yeah, talk vengeance to me, baby.



“But I can say that even if the universe desires otherwise, she is our hope.”

Laying it on a little thick with the “Kevin and Shion are KOS-MOS’s mom and dad” thing.



Aw, we all hate the gnosis. Let’s fuck.



“Why am I here? What should I be doing? Where am I going? It's as if everything is hidden in a deep fog on a distant shore. But right now, if that's where hope lies, I want to grant your wish.”

Ah, to be a teenager and screwing your boss/saving the universe.



And it turns out this whole flashback was the secret origin of Shion’s necklace.



“Yeah, right before she turned into a gnosis and I was rocketed away from my dying planet. It was an eventful day.”



“The path I'm walking may be a mistake. I don't know for sure. Will you walk... down this path with me?”

You… want her to be your new mom?



Oh, engagement, right. That’s apparently Shion’s “yes” face. I mean yes to the marriage thing, get your mind out of the gutter…



And get ready for hot makeouts!



I would buy an HD remaster of the Xenosaga Trilogy if the only change involved Kevin’s pants falling down to a slide whistle at the end of this scene.



And it turns out U-DO was just combing through Shion’s memories. Voyeur.



And it was just getting good!



This is a very important bit of dialogue. Unfortunately, it’s kind of soiled by the fact that it looks like Shion and U-DO got caught in some kind of infinite loop. Maybe this was originally supposed to be the Xenosaga musical number?



Yes?



Good question! Shion is passed out in a field, and we’ll find out why next update!

Next time on Xenosaga: Tell me, Professor, where are we going this time?

That dungeon is actually crazy irritating if you mess too much with the bridges. There's also the fact that it's essentially a "Anti-Gnosis weapons only" dungeon, so I hope you REALLY like using KOS-MOS.

I'm sure we'll get more into him as the LP moves on, but I just want to point out how of all the characters to loathe in this series, I might hate Wilhelm the most. He's basically the poster boy for some of the biggest problems of the series - he doesn't interact with most of the cast, regularly just says complete and total nonsense, yet knows way more than anyone else in the game (to the detriment of the audience) and I hate his stupid, smug face.

My favorite part about the Choke attack... well, everything is my favorite part about the Choke attack, but specifically I love in the last few frames how Ziggy just nonchalantly lowers his arm.

"Yeah I just broke someone's neck, NBD."

Previously on Xenosaga: KOS-MOS and T-elos got into a bit of a scuffle, and that somehow blew Shion into a forest? Huh?



Shion, dear, I handle the recaps around here.



“KOS-MOS!!! Also… everyone else… I guess…”



So we pick back up here at… Forest. Well, that’s not very helpful.



Head west and find a locked tunnel or something, but more importantly, a shop and a save point.



We’ve got a few new items for sale. Huh. Why is this “full revive” item so cheap?



Equipment selection hasn’t updated, though. I like getting new weapons, but I also don’t like spending money, so I guess it works out.



Regardless, there doesn’t seem to be a key laying around for that tunnel, so let’s head back west this time.



Aw, Junior is some kind of human Labrador.



I guess the party is capable of employing stealthy tactics, they just choose not to whenever the player is watching.



Jin and Ziggy creep out of the bushes after Junior, MOMO, and chaos have their fun. I presume the duo was sitting at the adult’s table, maybe reading a newspaper and smoking a pipe.



We’ve got 85% of The Brews, but a missing robot and spaceship. I understand KOS-MOS being hard to find, but I feel like the Elsa should be pretty easy to spot.



MOMO is a navigational Realian, and has proven in previous situations to have the ability to triangulate space at the drop of a hat (beret). Just wanted to mention that for no real reason.



I choose to believe that Shion made KOS-MOS fluorescent blue for this very situation. It’s like owning hot pink car keys.



So… forest dungeon. Wee. The point of the UMN, from a gameplay perspective, is that it allows Xenosaga to have a “holodeck”. We started the entire franchise in “a simulation of a ruined 20th century city”, and since then… Have we had many dungeons that couldn’t exist in any other generic JRPG? We’ve somehow had three nonspecific forests in three games! If we get another basic cave, I am going to scream.



And it looks like we’ve got some soldiers creeping around. Like the CAT Testing Ground dungeon, I appreciate how this (generic) area allows you to observe enemy walking patterns and plan your tactics accordingly.



Ah, this is fairly familiar. We’ve got U-TIC soldiers and small walker mechs. I want to say we lost saw these “monster” groups back during the intro of XS2 and later on Old Miltia Revisited. Yes, that’s significant.



Now that we don’t have to deal with gnosis every five seconds, we can well and totally abuse the break gauge to keep rando commandos from ever acting. You bash that soldier’s butt, Shion!



It might be a short dungeon, but treasure hunting/monster avoiding dungeon rules apply.



Here’s that treasure chest we could see guarded by a soldier a few pics back. Hero’s Bracelet defends against a pair of elements… I want to say fire and ice? We’ll get its matching accessory shortly.



Ya know, we might find out where we are if we just politely ask one of these U-TIC soldiers, as opposed to recklessly slaughtering ‘em on sight.



The targeting hud kind of took over here, but the new monster for this area is the Asterion, a mutant dog thing that assists the soldiers. Those beasts are fast and strong, so it’s probably a good idea to choke the soldiers into submission, and then take out the dogs while the humans are stunned. Or just save your finishing moves for the mutts. Whatever works.



The forest path leads up some cliff. Hey, maybe we’ll be able to see where the heck we are. No… that’s silly, what are the odds that we’re on the one random planet in the galaxy that anyone in the party could identify by landmarks?



Wait…



It’s Labyrinthos, the home base of U-TIC on Old Miltia! Once again, I want to thank the good folks at U-TIC for designing a building willing to throw up the horns.



“Wasn’t it destroyed in the conflict?” Uh, no, Ziggy, we were literally in Labyrinthos last year shortly before the entire planet exploded. Or is that the new “conflict”?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Only one solution! This is another UMN simulation We’ve gone BACK IN TIME!



So.. uh… don’t touch anything… I guess? Alright, don’t panic, we can handle this. I was a Boy Scout, so, for those of you that missed out on the guidebook, here are the five rules for time traveling:
1. Take nothing, leave only footprints
2. Actually, try to cover up those footprints, too
3. Also, try not to breathe, as you’re probably infecting everyone with future diseases
4. Absolutely do not pee anywhere
5. Don’t sleep with your mom

I think it’s safe to say we’ve already well and truly borked the timeline (uh… were those soldiers supposed to die?), but we might be able to avoid any significant paradoxes if we don’t interact with anyone important. This whole stupid planet is supposed to get sucked into a double blackhole in the near future, so… uh… those guys were doomed anyway? Yeah, that should be right…



Oh, a pretty waterfall.



The camera helpfully zooms behind the falls to reveal a treasure chest protected by mutant doggies.



And then the doggies come to say hi!



Aaaaaand then they just mill about on this giant branch. They go to all the effort of jumping across the lake to maul you, and then you can sneak up on them like every other silly monster.



Also, there’s a treasure chest on a branch, and if you accidentally blow up the supporting branch… good-bye treasure. You can exit and reenter the area to reset the branch, though.



Detonate the right parts of the branch, and you’ll get the Warrior’s Bracelet. This protects against the elements the last accessory didn’t, which are thunder and beam.



Save point past the waterfall area, but you can check these other paths before moving forward.



The southern path leads to a treasure chest, and scoot back along the northern path and you can trace your way back behind the waterfall.



That treasure chest that the camera conspicuously highlighted a moment ago contains the EX Skill Key 1, a unique item that is fairly important.



This key allows you to unlock a whole new branch on the skill tree, and grant your characters skills they potentially wouldn’t have otherwise. I don’t think there are any truly unique skills on this branch, it’s much like in XS1 when you were capable of jumping from one character’s ether development branch to another. Whatever the case, you definitely want that key, because who wants to miss out on extra HP and alike?



Go back to the savepoint and a little further east to hear gunshots. I don’t know why this is an event, as the U-TIC soldiers have been shooting at The Brews quite a bit lately.



Oh, son of a bitch. Looks like there’s a soldier under attack by Realians, and, yep, it’s pretty obviously Virgil. Let’s call him Soldier Virgil so as to distinguish him from his older self.



God… God dammit, Shion.



We do actually get to fight the Realians. They’re… kind of sub-bossy? They’re more powerful than the U-TIC soldiers, but not full boss-rank.



Virg, man, you got twenty hours?



Good to see that Shion has the skill of basic facial recognition. Ya know, for being so anime, I do have to give Xenosaga credit for having distinctive characters, as opposed to just “big eyes, small mouth, different hair color” all day long.



Shion, having already established that time travel is involved, is somehow still surprised that there would be a younger Virgil here. Virgil is just confused/dying.



“I am trying to heal you! By the way, I might be responsible for your death in fifteen years. Just a head’s up.”



The party actually makes note of Virgil being a Testament (reminder that Shion is the only one here that ever met “alive” Virgil), but Shion insists that they help their future enemy. Past enemy? Damn time travel.



Oh, right, Jin’s a doctor. Like, that kind of doctor. Shion is a robo-doctor.



Ziggy always gets stuck with the heavy lifting.



And so we’ve got Virgil in tow. As per JRPG tradition, you may now reexplore the entirety of this dungeon, take hours puttering around doing nothing, then go back to the plot whenever you feel, and Virgil will still be okay. I recommend doing that, just to keep Soldier Virgil on his toes.



There’s a kind of hidden path in some bushes along the way.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

There was a NPC back on Fifth Jerusalem talking about how Cornelian Eggs went extinct when Old Miltia exploded, so, hey, valuable protein. Don’t eat those eggs, they’ll come in handy for a sidequest way down the line.



Little more walking, a whole new paradox to explore.



Yay! We’ve encountered two friendlies on this entire planet so far, and they’re both people we already know.



Wait, never mind. Feb wandered off before we got to talk to her.



“Also, Junior keeps hitting him in the head, and that’s not helping!”



Oh boy, remember the last time this gang went to church?



Shion confesses that now that she’s got the lay of the land, she knows exactly where to go.



Eeeeeyep. Want to know something stupid? This is the forest leading up to the church of Shion’s dreams. That means, technically, the forest dungeon of XS1 and the forest dungeon of XS3 were the exact same forest. I didn’t like it the first time!



Considering this church was one of the more memorable moments of XS1, we probably don’t need the reminder, but it’s nice when XS3 acknowledges that not everyone remembers everything about the trilogy.



The U-TIC van parked outside is new.



And the first person we see upon entering the church is Kiddy Shion. Stupid, stupid time travel. Nnah!



“Was I always such a nerd?”



And here’s “Young Man” with Feb and Kiddy Shion. Young Man, like most “unidentified” characters in this game, is Kevin. It’s pretty obvious, but I guess no one in the party except Shion has ever really gotten a good look at the guy, and Shion…. Shion got issues.



This is also the first we’re seeing Feb as a non-omniscient ghost. She acts pretty much like you’d expect from her previous appearances (caring to the max), but she spouts a lot less cryptic nonsense as a mortal.



Teenage Kevin objects to helping… anybody.



It’s getting hard to keep track of what we already know, but Feb is confirmed as an U-TIC Realian (we know Cecily and Cathe were U-TIC manufactured to interface with the Zohar from Space Pope’s speech, and they were identified as “Feb’s sisters”, so we kinda already knew this), and, by association, Kevin is apparently working for U-TIC. U-TIC is at (or on the cusp of) war with the Federation, so Federation Soldier Virgil is a very unwelcome guest. …. Everybody get all that?



Feb isn’t hearing it, because she is literally a habit away from being the first Realian nun.



Dude’s just name dropping at this point.



But Kevin does eventually relent under lame excuse law.



The love of Shion’s life, everybody!



Welp, he’s doomed. Anybody wanna go out for porkchops?



Virgil has stolen Feb’s heart. Or he’s about to.



Techno babble whatever, but, yes, Feb should be mostly compatible or whatever despite being an artificial life form.



“I’ll be fine! I never liked this liver anyway.”



“Well, okay. Let me get my surgery sword.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

LATER! With Miyuki and Allen not in the immediate vicinity, Shion has to get in her jabs when she can.



Really, Xenosaga? We’re identifying Kiddy Shion as “Young Girl” still? We’ve had the squirt running around in other Xenosaga games, we know who we’re looking at.



Luckily, Kiddy Shion is better at keeping the plot on track than her adult self. I’m… not surprised.



Sounds like the Elsa! Let’s get over there!



Teenage Kevin is still muttering about letting his assigned Realian get her organs torn out.



“Welp, this has been fun, group of random people I don’t know, but could you get out of here? My boss is coming over.”



Really missed an opportunity here, XS. Could have at least had Kiddy Shion ask Shion’s name and leave her stammering, “My name? Uh… Victoria… Secret?”



Kevin told us to leave, but you can linger and explore the church a bit. Actually, let’s take a moment to talk about retcons.

First, the “clever” retcon: Virgil might not be a cannibal. Despite all his talk of hating Realians and despising their odor, it has now been revealed that Virgil survived a deadly injury thanks to a transplant of Realian organs. The description for the fake disease that has afflicted Virgil’s face only claims that it occurs most often thanks to consuming Realian tissue, but a transplant would create the same malady. So, hey, maybe the plan all along was that Virgil wasn’t that bad, he’s just super-duper racist, and not a super-duper racist cannibal. I think we all learned a valuable lesson about not judging a book by its cover.

And then there’s the Kevin thing.

This one reeks of retcon. Shion was hanging out with Kevin when she was a kid, and, despite the fact that he later became her boss and lover, she inexplicably never remembered or thought to mention this little detail. She, technically, doesn’t even remember it now, but it’s pretty plainly slapping the player in the face with the “revelation”.

But, somehow, the crumbs were laid for this shock all the way back in XS1. You may recall there was an entire seemingly superfluous cutscene dedicated to the fact that Dr. Mizrahi apparently had an assistant, and, reading between the lines, it’s clear that’s intended to be Kevin. Also, we literally watched Dr. Mizrahi’s death on Old Miltia during the flashback dungeon, so we know the good doctor was hanging around Old Miltia quite a bit. And, of course, we know Shion’s past in the hospital and apparently hanging with her good buddy Feb, a Mizrahi-designed Realian. Combine all these facts, and the odds are pretty good that Mizrahi’s Assistant would have met Mizrahi’s creation’s friend. And, given Shion was eight and Kevin was a dick, it’s entirely likely that they wouldn’t immediately recognize each other about a decade later.

But…

It still feels like a big ol’ cheat to have Shion and Kevin interacting well before they wind up being “Shion and Kevin”. I guess maybe there’s some sort of “star crossed lovers” thing going on here, but it’s hard to read “I met my fiancée when she was eight” as anything but a little bit skeevy. Maybe this was always planned (I mean, it’s not like the Shion/Kevin relationship appeared 100% healthy at any point in this franchise), but it still comes off as a little…. wrong.

Oh well, at least it gives us an excuse to explore Kevin’s motivations during this “flashback”. Not like we’re getting any more info on actual party members…



Oh, hey! Remember during XS1, and there was that side door, and it was locked, and it didn’t matter? Like, you could unlock it, and it just went out into the courtyard like the regular door, but it seemed like it should be hiding something? Well now that door is back! Oh boy! I bet there’s a big secret here for remembering it exists after two games.



Nope, just lets to the courtyard again. Bah! I’m never going to church again!



Hey, we’ve got an Old Miltia world map. We’re told not to go to the city (must… preserve… timeline…), but we can frolic along this woodsy path. This planet doesn’t look too bad for a place that’s about to turn into a flaming pile.



Man, the Elsa really got separated from the main party… but I guess we were pretty far away by the time KOS-MOS/T-elos detonated.



Dabrye Mine. I guess they mine cotton here?



It’s an old man! Miraculously, this is the first resident of Old Miltia (we’re not murdering) that we didn’t already know.

Ugh… he’s probably Junior’s grandpa or something…



He doesn’t like U-TIC, we don’t like U-TIC… let’s be buds!



I guess the Old Miltia of fifteen years ago is filled with a cowardly, superstitious lot that doesn’t actually touch mysterious ships that drop out of the sky.



But Mai is on the case! … Who’s Mai?



Additional backstory: U-TIC picked the mine clean. Just as well, not like the planet is going to last another week anyway.



There are some loud explosions (is there any other kind?), and we’re told that that’s Leopold.



Mai thinks her parent’s soul lives on in a fighting robot? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.



You heard me.



We’re all friends now since we all agreed that U-TIC sucks, so, ya know, just bring back this dude’s granddaughter if you see her. Have a nice trip!



OH MY GOD HE’S REALLY… actually… he’s nobody. And, unfortunately, no, this does not tie Xenosaga to the Chrono Trigger universe, but he might have a connection to a Belthasar…



Explore the… mine… landing… area?... a bit at your leisure. There’s some cash for robbing Aizen’s house, and a save point and shop nearby. Once again, the shop has not updated with anything interesting.



There’s a crane minigame that plays like the drill minigame of XS1. It’s entirely optional, but if you play with it a bit, you’ll earn a few random consumables and MOMO’s swimsuit. I’ll look at it a little more during the sidequest update.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Alright, enough milling about. Time to blast our way into the mine and probably fight a possessed robot.



Oh, look, it’s a cave dungeon. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



Cisco feels like he got hit by a truck, truck, truck, and is all like, “What, what, what?”



These are not gnosis! The most common monsters in the mine are U-TIC soldiers and these mutant Byproduct creatures. They’re biological, not salt, based opponents.



The red ones use magic, the blue ones are more physical. Nothing too complicated.



This is a mine, so you’ll get some decent treasure for blasting every rock you find. There’s an ES part in this column. That… raises questions.



Another good time to exploit the break system and reduce the enemy’s turns.



Look, Xenosaga, you can’t just keep adding waterfalls to boring dungeons and expect me to be impressed. It gets old.



More walls for blastin’.



Behind that passage is Red Segment Door #1. We scored the #1 decoder in that stupid maze last update.



So, hey, free treasure. XS3 is pretty good about not making you backtrack all over creation if you’re good at exploring the first time.



Witch’s Eye is I want to say the first obvious “upgraded” accessory. You’ve likely already got a HP+ accessory, but this one has HP+, EP+, and BL+. So, basically, from this point on, always check to make sure you’ve got the best of the best equipped every time you open a treasure chest. Joy.



This dungeon isn’t too long. I think Forest + Mine = One Big Dungeon, but there are enough breaks along the way that the whole experience doesn’t feel too draining.



“I’m different!” “No you’re not.”



Savepoint. Guess we’re getting toward the end.



Wild Roller Coaster? That sounds like fun!



Oh, it’s just a zipline. This isn’t fun at all, just an excuse for robot taunting.



That bot looks vaguely familiar…



I swear Shion has just plain given up on paying any attention to the plot. That was Leopold! The robot! You just heard about it like twenty minutes ago!



At least we’re out of that musty old cave.



Meet Mai.



Yeah, there’s no way this “misunderstanding” doesn’t end in a fight. Comic books and videogames, everybody!



Incidentally insulting Junior just escalates matters.



chaos is usually good at mediation, but I guess he’s a little off his game today.



We’re going to fight! I get it!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And here’s our first good look at Leopold. Time for a boss fight!



But first, let’s address the elephant mech in the room: Mai and Leopold are dead ringers for Maria and Seibzehn of Xenogears. Well, more appropriate, Mai looks like a teenage Maria (assuming she kept her fashion sense through adolescence), and Leopold could be Seibzehn’s extremely little brother. That said, the parallels of the two characters are obvious, with Mai and Maria both claiming to be protectors of their home, dedicated if rambunctious granddaughters, and the odd situation of a mech that may or may not be possessed by a dead father. It is, frankly, the most blatant Xenogears reference in the Xenosaga franchise.

It also means absolutely nothing.

Spoilers, but Mai dominates this little quest, and then she quickly fades into the background. She will be involved in one totally optional and rather speedy sidequest, and then she’s never seen again. Does she die with the rest of Old Miltia? Does she go on to help build giant robots? Does she have an adult counterpart in the “present” of Xenosaga? Who knows, and Xenosaga doesn’t give a flip.

So, for anyone curious, this is just a really enthusiastic “echo cameo” of a character from Xenogears that somehow warranted an entire little area to herself. Sorry, Rico, nobody remembers you existed, but “Maria” gets a comeback.

Dig the goggles, though.



Bah, back to the fight.



Mai is a typical human that is inexplicably stronger than every person we’ve encountered on this planet. Why didn’t they just send her thunder-resistant ass to subdue any rebelling Realians?



And Leopold is the equally strong robot that will be assisting Mai. It at least has a few more weaknesses than its boss, so, since they both have equal HP, it probably makes sense to take it out first.




Both combatants primarily use powerful physical attacks. They’re not too complicated, but I wouldn’t bring MOMO into this battle.



Ziggy! No! The timeline!



I defeated Leopold first, so Mai got a tweak upset about that.



Oh, I guess Heat, the skill that allows you to redirect an enemy’s attacks away from weaker party members, didn’t work up until this point. And now it does. Good to know, assuming you ever use that move.



Just so we don’t think Ziggy has all the cool moves, here’s some Shion judo. Actually, Ziggy does have all the cool moves, but I figured we could pretend for one gif.



Mai goes down.



Well, to the victor go the spoils. I’m sure Shion could turn it into a lovely mobile fridge.



“Do you remember when Ziggy only sorta broke your neck?”



“chaos… What?”
“We were all using nonlethal attacks, right?”
“Um… uh… Yeah. Right. Right.”



Shion points out that they just want to get back to the Elsa and their friends, and come on, you love giant robots, we love giant robots, let’s all get along.



Why didn’t Aizen just come with us in the first place!?



No, the death of you will be in two days when the planet is obliterated. Or maybe a gnosis shortly beforehand? One of those.



“And if you disagree, we’ll beat you up again!”



Hm, seems like the rest of the party has noticed Shion’s… attitude shift.



Yay! Elsa is somehow lodged in this cave!



Yay! Treasure five feet from the entrance!



Yay! These knuckleheads!



“Even though we still don’t know what ‘that’ is…”



“Allen! Great! Now where’s the person I actually care about?”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

We’ve got some bad news…



And it’s not that Allen has now become Professor’s Assistant #2.



It’s official: T-elos: 2, KOS-MOS: 0.



Good news: KOS-MOS made the time jump with everybody else. Bad news: She’s mostly dead.



“You know, Kevin? Your dead fiancée? Who you ran into earlier and inexplicably didn’t recognize?”



Shion… not happy.



And that’s the end of the chapter.



7:03, this whole chapter was just about an hour.



We’re going to keep going just a little bit to answer a question that drove me nuts the first time I played this chapter.



Back on the Durandal, Mary and Shelley are upset at having completely lost the Elsa Rescue Party. Juli Mizrahi is dropping in via Skype to check in on the only group of seven people capable of saving the universe.



Oh, and, FYI, Yuriev and the Federation are going to start a massive assault on Michtam. So, ya know, hope you don’t have a vacation home on that burnt out husk of a planet.



War starting, heroes missing, bad times for everybody.



Something is on Michtam, and everybody wants it. And that something is…



Oh, it’s the title of the game. I guess that would be valuable.



“Well… we technically have half of those things…”



This is completely inaccurate!



Meanwhile, fifteen years ago or something…



Alright, here we go. Shion dreams of the original timeline. We do not need a predestination paradox in Xenosaga, so here’s what happened without time traveler meddling.



So originally Virgil crawled his way to the church on his own (I guess without The Brews to defeat the Realians, he may have been pursued as far as Feb flower picking), and it was Teenage Kevin, not Jin, that performed the surgery, probably with much more whining involved. Welp, that fills in that little plot hole! … Wait, why didn’t Kiddy Shion recognize time-displaced Jin in our timeline?



And we still have the plot hole of Shion being completely incapable of identifying a slightly younger version of her greatest love, so whatever! Okay, now I’m going to stop for the day.

Next time on Xenosaga: We’re going to destroy this universe one way or another!

This game is a trip.

It's a lot of work to stitch this all together, so thanks for taking the time to show us a really unique RPG, haha.

Isn't it "Leupold"?

It's also the most pointless, I think. Someone must have really liked Maria and Seventeen. And Old Man Bal, I guess.

Yeah but that's dumb so no

Goggle Bob and all associated industries does not recognize alternate, Miltian spellings of "Leopold". Thank you for your understanding.

Wow, I had totally forgotten all about Mai. I think I thought it was a pretty cool reference back when I played the game, but it clearly didn't stick!

(Though I think there's another kinda blatant Xenogears reference later on? Unless I'm remembering something wrong)

There is! Actually, I think there's two. One a little later, and one during the final boss.

This entire "back in time, maybe?" sequence is when the story begins to really start going off the rails. I don't think they could have thrown this together any worse.

And let me just say that I appreciated the weird Maria callback. Because her Gear in Xenogears was the fun big slow one.

And no one cared about Rico. Seriously. If there was ever a edit of Xenogears, most of Kislev would get the axe, including everything to do with Rico.

They'd have to finish the game first before they start cutting chunks out of it.

You're in a burning building. Three people say, "Take my hand if you want to live." You know nothing about them other than their names, which are "Allen", and "Kevin", and "Leupold". Who do you go with?

You're gonna go with Leupold, of course. Dude's name sounds like he fights Zangief on the regular and wins.

I choose the guy that had parents that could spell correctly.

So, not entirely random question because it's relevant to the next update: is there anyone here who does not know what happens next, and is interested in learning more about Shion's past and Old Miltia's descent? Ostensibly, it's what the entire next act is about, and I remember going into XS3 wanting to know more about everything, but I'm curious if that's a concern for the average player.

This is all assuming anyone is still following this LP that didn't play XS3 a decade ago...

I have literally never played Xenosaga 3 (or 2, for that matter...) and am still following this. Then again, the only thing I'm interested in is seeing you crack jokes about Shion and the others :P

Never played any Xenosaga. Give me the lore!

Pshh, you'll never hear "Leupold" on the evening news. "Kevin" and "Allen", on the other hand...

____

Yeah, I've never played any of the Xenosagas. I guess I'd like to hear about everything as it progressed naturally through the gameplay? So, if something wasn't mentioned, don't mention it until the end?

Same here.

Previously on Xenosaga: Is it the 50’s? Or 1999? Nope, it’s fifteen years ago, and The Brews have inadvertently time traveled back to Old Miltia shortly before its destruction. Now Allen’s favorite onesie store won’t be open for another decade!



Picking this back up in the women’s dorm. Shion just awoke from a remarkably well-timed dream about her own past of fifteen years/minutes ago.



KOS-MOS is effectively dead, MOMO is chilling, and Shion just woke up. So the boys decided to have a big ol’ wang party?



Finally! Some new weapons are available in the shop. We won’t be using a single one this update, but it’s always good to get new stuff.



Scoot down to that gunroom and… Oh no! Something happened! (?)



“A little bit of a problem” is misplacing your Wawa Hoagie Card. This is losing the engine for your hulking war machines.



“We traveled through time. How can anything happen?!”



Oh, what’s the worst that could happen? Noted time travel documentary Time Cop made time travel seem pretty okay.



You mean this world specifically, or this time/space coordinate?



Matter cannot be created or destroyed. Plop some extra Shions into the wrong epoch and… the universe explodes. Yes, okay, I suppose that is worse than losing a random robot relic.



Oh, not the whole universe, just an entire galaxy or so? Well… uh… huh. That’s… still pretty bad!



Time travel is based entirely on bubbles? Now it is the beginning of a fantastic story!



Welp! Guess we’re screwed! Let’s just hope that when we detonate our younger selves, a paradox is created so we never went back in time in the first place. This… might sting.



Shion decides to go cry to her robot about this whole end of the universe thing.



“I mean, we’ve got a lot of scientists on the team, but are any of them physicists? I’m not sure we should be listening to a guy that runs a ‘Robot Academy’…”



So don’t buy any Miltian real estate? Got it.



Oh, Allen, anything you do will never have a dramatic effect on anything.



“Like that time you forgot to shower for three weeks, and everyone started calling you Assy Allen? Would you want to change that?”



We have a lot of fun at Allen’s expense here at the Xenosaga LP, but I have to say, I would probably be Allen in this situation. “We’ve gone back in time? Oh my God, don’t anybody touch anything!”



“Chief, you’re probably already crazy.” Also, reminder, she just woke up.



Yeah, that sounds like a good… Wait, no!



Shion has gotten to this point in her life almost exclusively by listening to Allen’s advice… and then doing the exact opposite. Let’s kick that space time continuum right in the ass!



Allen trails Shion for two hallways whining about what new brain things Shion’s tampering could create, but (here’s a shock) she isn’t hearing it.



Reminder: this entire planet is a literal war zone.



“Oh, go tell it to some elf.”



Anti-gnosis weapon capable of destroying entire planets > Assistant #2

CONTINUED NEXT POST