Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

And we only keep getting closer!

Previously on Xenosaga: Junior and pals wrapped up their little adventure, but we’ve still got a lot of ground to cover with the rest of the cast. So, naturally, we’re going to ignore all that in favor of…

SIDEQUEST TIME IS HERE AGAIN!

Our next update will begin the final descent into the final dungeon. This doesn’t mean the next update will be our final update (as the final dungeon has… pacing issues), but it does mean this is our last dedicated respite before the end of the game (and the series!). So we’re going to take this update to cover all the sidequests available at the end of XS3 (and a sprinkling of the miniscule postgame, too).



This update will involve a little bit of a time skip, as there are a few cutscenes that precede this exact moment in the game, but they’ll make a lot more sense when visited in the next update. All you need to know right now is that, after escaping Abel’s Ark without incident, we are now parked in the Elsa on the surface of Michtam. Technically, we won’t leave the ship at all during this update, and will be abusing the virtual reality UMN interface.



Relevant to this update, though: the shop has updated. This is not the absolute final shop update, but this shop update grants access to a number of “final chapter” style items, like the “megaelixir” for ESes.



Also, there are new weapons available, but they’re (mostly) not the best available.



The armor currently available is probably the best in the game, though. There are a few upgrades here and there, but XS3 mostly relies on accessories for the big defensive bonuses.



Speaking of accessories, for some insane prices, you may purchase some insane defensive accessories. For instance, there are rings that completely nullify individual elements. They’re not as useful as that possibly sounds, and they’re prohibitively expensive (you’d be better off spending your credits on ES upgrades), but they can definitely help out if you know there’s a scary x-element incoming.



There are also rings that defend well against particular enemy types. As you might be able to guess, investing in anti-gnosis rings is probably a good idea.



There are also some new passengers on the Elsa. Theodore and his buddies appeared waaaaaay back on Fifth Jerusalem, and Teddy himself explained the Red Segment Door system in the absence of any obvious Swaims. These guys are important if you’re trying to complete all sidequests, so we’ll look at them more later.



But for now, we’re going to hit the UMN and use that key we obtained after murdering Citrine two updates back.



After making our way thought the opening bits of the CAT Testing Grounds (which, reminder, was one of the earliest dungeons, and monsters don’t evolve, so there are more than a few battles here that ended shortly after hitting the circle button once) Monorail #5 takes Shion and the crew over to that ominous locked door.



And guess where that key fits.



This will lead to a hanger hiding Omega Universitas. You may remember this Omega as the prototype we battled at the end of the Labyrinthos dungeon fifteen years in the past.



And we get to fight it again! This is an ES battle, and the game helpfully provides an option to check your ES equipment before the fight. You… probably should do that.



This Omega Universitas is actually weaker than the boss we fought a few chapters ago. That mech had about 130,000 more HP.



This battle doesn’t take long at all, and my ESes took it down in literally two rounds.



But when it’s defeated…



Then the real monster comes out to play.



Omega ID is a clear reference to Weltall and Weltall’s ID mode of Xenogears. This mech is an echo of probably the most important Gear in Xenogears… well, except Xenogears. Oh, it’s also insanely powerful. Here’s a shot of it performing a “double” attack and knocking Zebulun down to half HP on the first turn.



As you can see, its stats improved just a tweak. You may also recall that Omega Universitas tried to go ID mode fifteen years ago, but stalled out. It’s pretty obvious now that, had it pulled that transformation off, we’d all be dead.



In addition to brutal physical attacks, OID also has area attacks. Under normal circumstances, I’d recommend completing a part (or all) of the final dungeon, gaining some new ES upgrades, and only coming back after obtaining some of the absolute end of the game equipment. I’m committing to this battle early almost entirely because I have nigh-infinite cash and 99 “heal all” ES repairs. Basically, I can heal everyone’s HP every turn, and that’s the only way to survive this “low level”.



And it’s still a pain in the ass! Here’s something I noted way back when we introduced ES combat, but it finally pays off now: sometimes your combatants will “sync” and add an extra attack to the end of a round. Dinah attacks, and then Reuben is all “let me help!” and attacks, too. Normally, it’s a precious free hit. However! In this battle, Omega ID counterattacks so often, pretty much anyone that “helps” is going to get a fistful of death. This can be terrible, because a low HP ES “helping” is going to lead to its death, and then, whoops, no way to revive from that. Yet another reason to heal all the time during this battle.



And then Omega ID powers up even further. Have I mentioned yet that this is the most difficult ES battle in the game?



OID always gives you a warning that Demon Lord is coming, and… just defend. Don’t even think about doing anything else. Here’s the Demon Lord attack doing damage to (a not defending) ES Asher. You will note that attack drained over 100% of Asher’s HP.



And as another phenomenal screw you to the player, if you horde over one level of Anima gauge, Omega ID may absorb the Anima and heal itself for major gains. Argh!



While we watch Asher’s Level 2 Special Attack, let’s talk about something else: Omega ID randomly switches its resistances and weaknesses. One of the most stressful bits of this battle is praying that your special attacks sync properly with OID’s rotating weaknesses. Junior’s Flare Buster here consumes two bars of Anima, and is fire-based. If OID was resistant to fire this turn, it would be a complete waste. If you were equipped with an accessory to read OID’s stats (which I absolutely recommend), and knew this resistance, you’d obviously wait until your next opening… and OID might absorb your hard-earned Anima to heal before that happened.

This battle really is a masters class in XS3 ES management.



If you lose, it’s not a real Game Over, and you’re just booted back to the “do you want to fight” screen from before the battle (and, while it’s really easy, you do have to fight regular Omega again). Any items you used during your loss are, of course, still consumed. I took some heavy casualties, but I did triumph with a brutal special attack compliments of ES Dinah. That seems appropriate.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Omega ID is done. Would be nice to get some kind of fun explodey sequence, but the dang thing just winds up looking kind of annoyed.



And our big prize is a Red Segment Door Decoder. Well, actually, Gold Segment Door in this case.



And we get a keen bracelet and database update out of the deal, too.



Uh, I assume “1/2 Physical” means we take half physical damage? This game needs its own equipment annotation guide.



That’s it for Omega ID! Segment Door #6 is hiding back on the Durandal, and behind that golden door rests…



Dark Erde Kaiser! Beat the secret boss of XS3, and earn the ability to summon the secret boss of XS2! For the record, Dark Erde Kaiser in XS2 was a lot more difficult to find than Omega ID.



Dark Erde Kaiser is basically a super powerful version of the Fire 3 spell. It’s the most powerful EK summon… for the moment.



Professor’s console back on the Elsa provides some additional insight into the lazy color swap that is Dark Professor’s masterpiece.



Hey, speaking of Dark Professor, didn’t we get a postcard from him waaaay back when we first hopped on the Elsa (well, first time for XS3, at least)? It came from Pedea Island, so let’s check that out.



Remember that door with the D on it from the very first update? It’s open now!



I have no idea when that door opened, Shion. Seriously, I’m not certain exactly when this sidequest becomes available, but it’s pretty impossible until about now.



That door leads to a messy little laboratory.



Here’s Custom Coconut #1. He’s worried about his buddy.



Talking monkeys abound!



This is a small, talking monkey with a palm tree on his head and a tiny, monkey-sized Hawaiian shirt. Why… why did Xenosaga take so long to introduce such a creature?



Oh, and Dark Professor is dead. Note to self: start business revolving around tiny, talking monkeys giving people bad news.



I’m sorry to hear that. Would it make you feel better to hop into a transparent ball and roll around mazes?



Regular Professor has a pet, too. Its name is Assistant Scott.



Your only choices are probably going to make this monkey sadder.



Claim to be either, and Coconut Monkey retorts that Dark Professor only had one rival, and he’s an old nerd.



Whatever you want, Coconut Monkey.



On the way to our destination, there’s a lovely photo of Dark Professor and his beloved and loyal monkey. There’s also tiny monkey laundry hanging over at the side, too.



Obvious Monkey.



It’s cute that the dialogue allows for Shion’s many costume changes. If Shion is equipped with the Vector uniform, the swimsuit, her default outfit, or anything else, she’s always got the hair and pendant, so it works.



I know that guy!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Some notes:
� I guess DP got Shion’s info during his five minute appearance last game.
� Oh, and I guess that means the complete sidequest chain of XS2 was canon.
� DP is kind of a pervert. Shocking, I know.
� We’ve got a robot to fight!



Oh my yes.



Monkey summoning powers, activate!



A proper giant robot deserves a proper introduction.



Even more than the original Erde Kaiser, Erde Kaiser Sigma resembles G-Elements, the combining Gear of the Elements of Xenogears. Also, with the wings, lion chest, and sword, it resembles Predaking, a really rad Transformer I coveted since I was a child. I’m sure there are also other influences.



Erde Kaiser Sigma has some monster stats, and he’s weak to beam. You basically want a mage party for this battle, because, even if they’re squishy, at least they’ll be able to hit that beam weakness.



Erde Kaiser Sigma is the first Erde Kaiser that speaks. And he’s pretty chatty! He also sounds exactly like Vanderkam, aka Strickland aka that dude with the purple x on his face. I’m not certain if this is just an invention of the dub or if it’s consistent with the original Japanese intention… but I like to think it’s a deliberate way to reuse a memorable voice/character.



Anyway, don’t worry about using “weak” characters, because when EKS decides to use an attack, it’s probably going to be an instant kill regardless of your HP count.



The gimmick of this battle is that EKS uses Kaiser Shields, and each shield blocks everything except a specific element. Also, even though the shields are numbered, they’re generally not used in sequential order.



Thanks!



If you’re equipped with an item that allows you spy on the elemental weakness, you can probably surmise the answer here…



Each shield is weak to a particular element that perfectly corresponds to the Erde Kaiser units that have already been collected. Shield 1 is weak to lightning and Erde Kaiser (I), Shield 2 is weak to ice and Erde Kaiser Fury, and Shield 3 is weak to fire and Dark Erde Kaiser. You can attempt to destroy a shield by merely using the corresponding element spells, but that takes a while.

Incidentally, this is why you should tackle Erde Kaiser Sigma after the Omega ID battle, because you can’t have Dark Erde Kaiser without winning that fight. EKS doesn’t offer any rewards that benefit your ESes anyway, so it works out.



EKS reacts to each Erde Kaiser, incidentally.



Shion’s Level 3 Special for no particular reason. XS3 decided that the best way to showcase its heroine’s abilities in her ultimate attack would be to knock her over. Cloud Strife never had that problem.



EKS will continue to summon shields for a while, and it’s your job to determine that “Shield 3” equals “Erde Kaiser 3”. Not exactly giant robot science here.



I really like that Dark Professor’s final creation seems upset that DP’s previous robot is on the wrong team.



When EKS finally gets low on HP, then he ramps up, buffs himself, and starts wholesale murdering the party. You want the battle to be over as quickly as possible at that point, so try to save up a lot of boost in anticipation, and then use the most powerful attacks over and over again without letting EKS get a turn. Should you succeed, Erde Kaiser Sigma is a gracious loser.



We get a Gustav Wrist and a LOT of experience for our troubles. And the best wishes of a monkey.



Gasp!



I guess Dark Professor downloaded his mind into a robot monkey. He built giant robots, but he went with the tiny monkey option…



Hm?



Yes, you’ve gotta have fun with your giant robots.



We’ve all been there, buddy.



I think building giant robots… was really the friends we made along the way.



Just makes you feel warm inside, doesn’t it?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

I think we could all learn a little something from this weird old man that implanted his brain into a robotic monkey wearing a Hawaiian shirt.



No! Dark Professor! You were just getting interesting! Don’t leave us!



If you remember one thing about the Xenosaga franchise, it should be this foolish man who devoted everything for giant robots.



And dying Dark Professor sees his beloved (original, real) Coconut Monkey waiting for him on the other side.



Good night, sweet prince.



Now let’s go see what this key unlocks.



Back at Dark Professor’s lab, pressing the button on a wheeled coconut monkey robot… doesn’t work out so great.



But Dark Professor’s futon transforms into an elevator…



And below the lab is a Golden Segment Door that matches that key we just earned.



Inside is our final Erde Kaiser device. Now we can summon Erde Kaiser Sigma at will. Hooray!



There is also an update file down here.



And the grave of the original Coconut Monkey. Way to choke some pathos out of a damn monkey, XS.



And that Gustav Wrist we earned from the EKS battle is ideal for defending against… everything.



Professor has a bit of dialogue on the Elsa about how Dark Professor truly won in the end, and he’ll miss his lifelong frenemy. Assistant Scott has no input on the matter.



Here’s the rundown on Erde Kaiser Sigma.



And here’s the big guy in action. Note that EKS does insane physical damage to an entire enemy party, and, unlike in XS1, anyone can summon him as many times as you want. Two pulls of the EKS lever will obliterate the final boss, incidentally.

Though I’m still kind of disappointed Erde Kaiser (I) of XS1 was the only bot to get a full combining summoning sequence.



And that’s it for Xenosaga’s Saint of Sidequests, Professor. Yes, this sidequest mostly focused on Dark Professor, but let’s look at Professor through the franchise.

In Xenosaga Episode 1, Professor was a silly side character. His plot was all prologue (here’s how Professor met Assistant Scott and built a giant robot), and Erde Kaiser was barely more than a religious/Xenogears reference.

In Xenosaga Episode 2, Professor officially joined the crew, but was still predominantly optional. His quest involved hunting all over the world for his evil twin, a malevolent force that must be stopped. Or he’s just misunderstood. Erde Kaiser Fury was an interesting experiment in variable design, but, in the end, everyone wound up with the same robot anyway, because there is a best way.

In Xenosaga Episode 3, Professor is officially part of the “real” plot. He’s front and center for a number of scenes, and Dark Professor, formerly believed to be completely evil, steals the spotlight for the sidequest. Dark Professor learns to get over the endless cycle of giant robot one-upmanship, and finds happiness in the battle itself, not the cycle. Erde Kaiser Sigma is a giant Xenogears reference, and the other Erde Kaiser models all make cameos as summons.

So, basically, Professor (and pals) mirrors exactly what’s going on in the “real” game with his sidequests. Neat trick.

(And Assistant Scott has a drinking problem, but that’s a story for another day.)



Let’s see, what else is there to do? Oh, I guess we can appease any turtles in the audience and revisit that damn Merkabah dungeon.



All the puzzles of the Merkabah are already solved, so we just have to walk aaaaaaall the way back to where Sellers provided that stupid little recap to press one stupid button.



Then we hop back in the ESes and putter along through that stupid elevator “maze” to make it back to big, stupid doors.



And we get one update file, and one ES accessory for our troubles. That was sure not worth it!

Now it’s time for “individual” sidequests.

Like Chrono Trigger, XS3’s endgame has a number of sidequests that are character specific. Find some dude talking about something weird, perform the task, and then wind up with an ultimate weapon along the way. XS3 actually does one better, and ultimate weapon quests usually come with a free accessory, so even if you don’t ever actually use Ziggy for some silly reason, at least you also get an accessory that can be equipped on anybody. Additionally, each character gets a swimsuit, and all of those are associated with their own miniquests.

So let’s take a look at those quests, starting with our heroine…

Shion Uzuki



Upon clearing Abel’s Ark, the next time The Brews pass the communications screen on the Elsa, Miyuki will call in.



Miyuki made Shion’s first weapon, and she’s going to make the last.



Miyuki already made the weapon, but she stole company property to do it, so would you please be a doll and bring her a replacement so she doesn’t get fired?



So I guess it’s time to find a Geocrystal.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

If you recall, we already earned a Rough Geocrystal back during the Floating Continent dungeon. If you missed it during your first run through the area, I’m not certain there are any hints on where to find one. Not like there’s an entire mine dungeon to throw you off the scent…



Dammit! More to do!



But we do get a consolation accessory for making it this far in the quest.



This “combo” accessory is useful for earning rare items. Oh boy.



Bunnie Bob is here to save the day! Bunnie Bob is totally into minerals, and will refine the Geocrystal free of charge. Bunnie Bob is just that much of a nice guy. Really proud to have him be part of the Fraternal Order of Bobs.



No prob, Bob.



And that earns us our Miyuki Special. This winds up being one of the easiest sidequests, assuming you know where to look.



There is a whole set of “better” weapons in the final dungeon, so earning the ultimate weapons at this point in the game (which is totally doable and encouraged) allows you to jump two “levels” in damage output. This is just a complicated way of saying “the ultimate weapons are really strong”. The Miyuki Special effectively doubles the stats of the 2nd most powerful weapon available right now, Night Bunker.



And if you want Shion’s swimsuit, return to Pedea Island any time after the start of the game, and rifle through her stuff.



We already saw Shion’s swimsuit during the opening prologue, so it only makes sense you’d find it where she was actually wearing it. This “armor” and Erde Kaiser Sigma are the only reasons to ever return to this area.



In case you forgot, here is our heroine modeling her swimwear. As I mentioned earlier in the LP, the swimsuits don’t really offer much of a stat advantage in this game, and mainly exist for the visual change.



And, for the hell of it, here’s the Vector Uniform we earned for having XS2 Completed Save Data. Shion actually gets two more outfits (both we’ve already seen, technically), but they’re earned during the final dungeon, so we’ll save those for later.

KOS-MOS



KOS-MOS is the one exception I obliquely mentioned during the shop rundown earlier in the update. Her final weapon is sitting right there in the shop… it’s just ludicrously expensive. It’s probably in the player’s best interest to spend that hard-earned dough on ES upgrades, but if you want the best KOS-MOS weapon in the game, fork over the moola.



And while we’re in the shop, there’s a unique piece of armor for KOS-MOS that will raise her ether attack, lower her other stats…



And change her model to her Episode 1 incarnation. She isn’t as adorably “chibi” anymore, but it’s still a fun callback for Xenofreaks.



KOS-MOS’s swimsuit is available from Theodore, the Segment Door nerd.



Find all the Segment Keys, open all the Segment Doors, and report back, and you’ll earn a robot’s swimgear. Note that this quest indirectly requires defeating Erde Kaiser Sigma, Omega ID, and conquering Level 2 of Hakox!?. No small feat.



Swimsuit KOS-MOS looks remarkably human. And pale.

Jin Uzuki



Let’s get the rest of the family out of the way. Panache, a robot that hangs out in the men’s bathroom, claims he can make a legendary sword. Draw your own conclusions.



The VB Crimson is a sword easily purchased at the shop. The Prayer Beads, though, take a little more searching.



Also, someone on the testing team probably found a glitch wherein Panache here couldn’t easily deal with “building” the sword if more than one contributing sword was purchased or equipped, so here’s the quick and dirty work around. Programming is hard, and I’m not even being sarcastic.



At least Panache points you in the direction of… an entire planet.



The Prayer Beads are in a treasure chest on Miltia’s world map. But they’re behind a gate with a number code.



Suou Uzuki’s Memo, found earlier in the game when we were stalking the guy, holds the answer. I think, technically, we could have used this information as early as the Miltian Invasion.



Ugh, I have to remember the code between menus.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

There we go.



Let’s do this thing!



We get the new sword, and a pretty bracelet.



Now there’s a useful accessory! Absorbing physical attacks is an ability that is just as useful as it sounds.



And, naturally, the VB Down is pretty damn powerful. It’s nice that one of our primary bruisers has such an “easy” sidequest.



You may recall we already found Jin’s swimsuit during the Labyrinthos raid.



And here it is in action… even if you’ve already seen it in this very update.

MOMO



Remember when we rescued Alby the Dog during the Durandal event? Well, he ran off into the virtual world, however the hell the works. Time to rescue a puppy!



Time to hit the Durandal.



Alby the Dog is just chilling at the entrance. Easiest quest ever!



And then Shion graciously stands there like an idiot while the dog hops on the monorail and somehow directs the thing to his intended destination. I was okay with the talking monkey, but the dog that can steer a train is too much, man.



Damn thing just wants to pee on some dearly departed trees.



So here’s Alby at the entrance to the park. If you approach the dog from behind…



Shion will step aside so the dog can continue his adventure. Nothing better to do, guys?



Alby is sitting at this particular spot in the park…



And Alby retrieves an item Junior left laying around, Heaven’s Door. It’s supposedly useless, but the dog decided it was important.



Alright, that’s it, time to jack out and return this dog to reality.



Our reward is Moon Bridge, MOMO’s best weapon.



Isn’t it nice for us that these ultimate weapons impact our mages’ EATK? I always hate when JRPGs provide “ultimate weapons” for characters that can’t effectively use ‘em.



The real prize for this quest is Heaven’s Door, which this bot will turn into a useable accessory if you defeat Erde Kaiser Sigma. That’s a pretty big “if”, but if you do it…



Well, you won’t learn how useful it is until you hit the menu.



… And even that description isn’t helpful. But if you actually equip the thing, you’ll learn “EP-1” means that this ring is XS3’s “economizer”, and it will reduce all EP cost to a single digit. This means that MOMO could summon Erde Kaiser Sigma 303 times! Suffice it to say, this is a very useful item for your head mage, and it’s only hampered by the fact that more than half of the final dungeon doesn’t allow ether attacks. Still could work for the final boss, though (if you don’t think too hard about how you must possess Erde Kaiser Sigma to obtain this accessory in the first place).



MOMO’s swimsuit is back at Mai’s mine on Old Miltia. Tinker with the crane “minigame” and you’ll earn a random item.



After some basic consumables, you’ll eventually gain this armor. Maybe it was from when Mai was younger?



Isn’t she just adorable or something?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Junior



Junior’s ultimate weapon is earned by playing HaKox!?. I’m….not doing that.



His swimsuit is lurking in the rear of the Old Miltia world map. I think you can earn this easily on your first visit, and I think the location on the map is roughly meant to equate to where chaos and Canaan landed ES Asher during the opening of XS2. Or it’s just a coincidence.



That looks like the most ineffectual life preserver ever.

Ziggy



Ziggy’s ultimate weapon is the ultimate pain in the ass.



Cabrillo wants 99 Sephirotic Canes.



And you have to have all 99 in your inventory at once. No gradual accumulation for you!



Sephirotic Canes are dropped by gnosis monsters in the absolute deepest stratum of the final dungeon. This means that Ziggy’s ultimate weapon is the only one that can’t be obtained until after entering the final dungeon.



I checked my original save file from my ten years ago playthrough, and, after completing the game and all other sidequests, I had earned… six Sephirotic Canes. 93 to go!



So, yes, if you want to know why I hacked 99 of every item into this game at the outset, here’s the reason. Screw you, XS3, gimme my weapon.



And a Power Heal! Whatever!



With the possible caveat of Junior’s HaKox!? weapon, this is a lot more likely to be your last ultimate weapon, not your first. In fact, given the state of your levels after grinding in the final dungeon to earn 99 stupid Sephirotic Canes, I’d claim that Ziggy’s ultimate weapon is entirely superfluous thanks to this quest. This is a troll quest, plain and simple.



The Gnosis Nail is good, but not “waste hours of your life” good.



And even Power Heal doesn’t seem to be the best accessory we earned this update. What a letdown of a quest.



Oh, and Ziggy’s swimsuit is HaKox!? related, too. Tell you what, fans, if someone wants to set up a kickstarter and raise a grand, I’ll livestream the entirety of HaKox!?. No takers? Alright, we’ll just have to imagine Ziggy’s swimsuit, then.

chaos



chaos’s ultimate weapon quest isn’t as bad as Ziggy’s, but it’s still pretty stupid.



Adonis the bot (who was responsible for that hangover sidequest during XS2) provides a Grief Stone, and claims that it is resonating with Abel’s Ark.



I know where we’re going!



Because this quest appears immediately after completing Abel’s Ark, it’s unlikely your ESes are that much more powerful than during the last trip. So, basically, this sidequest is “do the same dungeon you just finished, again.”



And here’s the fun part! You’ve got to complete each of the orbs again! Oh boy!



Luckily, all the traversal puzzles are already solved, so you don’t have to spend forever building bridges or shooting spirals in each orb, but all the enemies have respawned, and there are no shortcuts.



At the end of each orb area, you must investigate some random glowy bit, or it doesn’t count.



And it’s not like orbs change color or luminosity or anything this time. Try to remember which orbs you’ve (double) completed!



Are we done yet?



After completing all the orbs, investigate the middle area again, and…



Yay! Stuff!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

God Breath is chaos’s ultimate weapon. Keeping to his red mage persona, the weapon has almost exactly balanced STR and EATK. Almost.

The Universe is a lesser Heaven’s Door, as it reduces EP cost by half. This ring also nulls ether-counter abilities, so it’s quite useful for a mage.



And XS3 is hiding one secret dungeon. You may recall we found a mysterious item hiding in the tomb on the floating landmass. If we return there…



And venture through the ES portion again…



We’ll come back to the entrance of the tomb, and that mysterious indentation.



Stick the Arcadian Resource in there, and we’ve got an elevator going.



Downstairs, there are two doors.



KOS-MOS rushes into Door #1.



So Shion and Jin follow.



And are then locked in. Whoops.



But the other door is open, so let’s head on in.



Ziggy, please stop being the voice of reason.



Inside, we find that this is the “two parties” dungeon of Xenosaga.



Ya know, we never had anything like this ever before in the franchise.



This area… is surprisingly complicated. I could probably write an entire FAQ about this dungeon, but this is a LP, and this is a sidequest, so I’ll just give you the generalities. First of all, there are no monsters in this entire area, presumably because the XS staff had no idea how to re-code the battle system for two separate parties.



There are a lot of switches in this area…



And they move platforms between the two sections. Junior might run into a dead end, but Shion may pull a switch that floats a platform into place. Easy peasy.



There are also treasures about, but they’re all consumables or cash, because you will not be reentering this dungeon.



The second floor of this dungeon is a… what do we call this… bridge puzzle?



The glowy blue bits are platforms…



And you can switch the bridges off and on.



The idea is to use the two parties to coordinate the bridges so they don’t criss-cross. Blue lights do not play well together.



There are also these “power gates” that will extend a bridge further, but only if they’ve been switched on.



Anyway, lot of switchin’ ‘round these parts.



And then it’s time to head on up.



Floor 3… alright, maybe the reason I’m not writing more about this area is because even I don’t know how I solved this one.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Junior and Shion (teams) are on two mirror floors, and when you turn off a green wall on one floor, the green walls pop up on the other side. All colors work together, and it’s possible to accidentally “trap” the other party between walls, which will require a reset (of the puzzle, not the game).



Even still, I pretty much conquered this area by randomly touching as many walls as possible. I’m not proud.



There are treasures in this area, too.



Somehow I completed this puzzle and earned the treasure to boot.



That… sounds useful?



The party reassembles on the fourth floor, and… is that the Ark of the Covenant?



The two treasures on either side are a Skill Upgrade and Angel’s Experience. AE will boost your experience gain, so that’s always nice.



And inside the ark is... chaos’s swimsuit. Well... okay then.



Incidentally, that Droupnir we earned is useful for earning rare items, so hooray.

Ultimately, this dungeon probably takes about an hour, give or take how likely you are to actually solve the puzzles or just hit a FAQ. It’s a completely unique, monsterless dungeon, and you can complete it at practically any time as a result. There’s probably a major benefit to getting that EXP+ accessory as early as possible, at least.



And here’s chaos’s swimsuit. I can see why this thing got left in a tomb for a few millennia.



And chaos gets another costume we’ll earn for beating the game. Figured I’d mention it now, and leave anyone that hasn’t played through XS3 really confused.

Speaking of beating the game, there are no extra bosses or extra dungeons that open up after completing the main story. Unlike XS2 (which locked about ten hours of content into its postgame), XS3 only has one extra dungeon, two special bosses, and the rest of the sidequests we just covered. After you clear XS3, there’s basically no reason to play it ever again.



However, you do unlock “swimsuit” mode. So… that’s something?



Xenosaga Episode 3 has a “data” mode accessible from its opening menu (before officially loading the game). This is available at any time during the game, and updates as you complete more chapters and earn data files.



Character Viewer allows you to see every significant character model in the game. This grants you a good look at the Testaments’ buddy gnosis. You may also view some of the characters’ many outfits, though only the ones you’ve unlocked. If I was really thinking, I would have used this “mode” to showcase the swimsuit models, but then Captain Matthews would have missed the Elsa Fashion Show.

The Memory Code feature allows you to re-watch any scene from XS3. Once you’ve unlocked Swimsuit Mode (again, the prize for beating the game), you can toggle swimsuits off and on for any of the stupid dialogue scenes in the game (not the cool, fully-rendered “letterbox” segments). You’re still restricted by which characters actually earned swimsuits on your memory card (so no banana hammock Ziggy for me, stupid HaKox!?), but you do get a free swimsuit for Allen with Swimsuit Mode.



As an example, here is the historic first meeting with Roth Mantel.



And remember Shion and Allen’s ham date?



Or when Shion watched her childhood mentor die?



And here’s a special preview of an upcoming update.



Incidentally, chaos’s earlier… unusual… outfit is known as Flawless. Related: there’s Swimsuit Mode, but you cannot reexperience the scenes with any of the other outfits available, like Shion’s Vector uniform. Why? Who knows.



Oh, and the other “bonus” for completing the game is that your database may finally be complete after the ending. This makes sense, as the database covers information that you only learn during the ending (like the final fate of various party members), but it means you can’t have that all important 100% until after everything is done.



How sweet it is. Note that to get 100%, you have to clear out the bonus bosses, find all the update files (like the one in the stupid Merkabah), and even fish out those Federal Reports during the Old Miltia segment. You, technically, do not have to complete HaKox!?, find all the swimsuits, or open all the Red Segment Doors.



And if you earn that 100%, you’ll gain Kibisis from Guinness.



That’s a pretty good necklace (the extra boost is ideal for… everything), but you have to literally complete every worthwhile challenge in the game to get it, so you can use it to… uh…. Look pretty?



But since we completed that database, let’s take a look at some of the extra data in there. Here’s an actual picture of Aoi Uzuki with her eyes open, which never happens in the franchise.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Xenosaga: A Missing Year and Pied Piper characters get data entries, but nobody wanted to spring for whatever it would take to import the images from those specials. They clearly reused models from XS1 and XS2 for some of the images, so it’s not like a 2-D picture or cell phone pixels would be that jarring.



Sakura’s death is still a general mystery in the main franchise (but not the DS game).



I swear this bit of the T-elos entry exists only to explain why there was T-elos data on a U-TIC ship during XS1. Uh, Sellers stole it. Yeah.



Somebody snuck the infamous “cunning linguist” pun into an entry about a grown man menacing a little girl. My revulsion is tempered by admiration for the writer of this entry.



Apparently “Boss”, a character that appeared in one scene and doesn’t even really have a name, cares enough about Shion that he would consider leaving his business and life’s work to Shion. Boss is a very confused man.



‘Member Lapis? I ‘member Lapis! Kinda!



Oh, here’s where that additional information on Orgulla/Manes comes from. Would have been nice to know any of this when she was experiencing her thirty seconds of Xenosaga limelight (before we killed [?] her).



I want to say this is the origin of that “Doctus is hiding something amazing” rumor that the Xenosaga fanbase latched onto like a rabid dog. “Doctus” as we know her is just a robot shell, and the real Doctus is hiding in some undisclosed location. This seems wildly unnecessary, as we’ve only seen Doctus in imaginary space (the opening UMN area), or via video-conference (the entire rest of the game). Does she fire up a fake android body just to make a space-phone call? I’m convinced there were major plans for this character that seems to only exist as an exposition device.



And here’s the greatest secret of the franchise: Nephilim has been Canadian this entire time! Think about how that explains everything!



Oh, and details on Hermann and Richard are available here. This confirms some data that was from a Xenosaga audio bonus track or something, and will become relevant next update (not really).

So that’s it for sidequests and side… stuff for Xenosaga Episode 3. We’ll start in on the final dungeon next update, and…



Whoa. Looks like we have a lot of ground to cover. I count sixteen squares on that bingo card that need filling, and… well, I don’t think that’s going to happen in one update.

Next time on Xenosaga: Ormus? You guys are still here?

(raises hand) I earned it in my playthrough. In fact I stopped all progress in the final dungeon once I reached the enemies that dropped that item and threw myself at them until I had 99 and backtracked out just so Ziggy could have his best weapon for the remaining two fights that mattered.

Probably wasn't worth it, but I wasn't going to let a little grind stop me.

I got this too. (HAKOX!!!)

It makes a couple of cutscenes to come hilarious thanks to some geometry clipping.

ya i also finished hakox and the gnosis nail so if you all could stop reminding me about the waste of time i'd really appreciate that.

Do either of you... don't say crazy don't say crazy don't say crazy... dedicated players still have your "completed" XS3 save file? I'd be curious what your character's final levels are after gaining 99 canes versus a save file that didn't. I'm guessing it's a big difference, but I don't know if it'd be worse if it was minuscule.

HaKox!? only earns experience for the mind, so at least both of you are smarter than me.

I should. My PS2 isn't currently hooked up and whether or not it still works is the bigger question.

I'll drag it out this weekend and give it a shot, and report back with what I find out.

I also might. I know where my ps2 is, but the location and status of the mem cards is gonna be the bigger issue. With my luck I'll find one that will have xs1 and xs2 files but not xs3

Alright, my original model fat PS2 still lives somehow, it's a miracle.

Anyway, here's a phone-pic:



Kinda blurry, but you can see the relevant info. This is from my clear data save, so it's after doing all the things. Lv60 overall, 46 hours. Goddamn Ziggy's a tank.

Okay, so from the LP post above...



That's my final save from my original play through of XS3. I did complete the EKS quest, and obtained all the database/door decoders, but I didn't do anything more complicated than that, like obtaining the Gnosis Nail or revisiting the Abel's Ark dungeon.

The average level is 60.

Spoony's save, which did complete the mind-numbing quest of farming 99 Sephirotic Canes, has an average level of...

About 60. Those levels are technically, but only marginally, lower.

I don't understand how anything works anymore.

*shrug*

I can't remember the details of my playthrough that well, it's possible I avoided more fights than you did and hit the final dungeon at a lower level than you, and maybe farming the canes didn't award as much EXP as you'd think, maybe I got lucky with the drops and got them more often than not.

What I don't get is the huge HP variance.

That one has an easy explanation:



The different branches of the skill tree offer different bonuses. It's possible to devote a number of Ziggy's skill points to HP+ paths, and wind up with a defensive monster.

Black Friday savings on all Xenosaga LPs! Everything must go!

Previously on Xenosaga: The final giant robot has taken flight, everyone has their ultimate weapons (except Junior), and the last great Xenogears reference is in the can. Now is finally the time to confront the end of everything…



Technically this update picks up after Update #17. Abel’s Ark… uh… we don’t know if it disappeared or exploded or The Brews simply left, but one way or another, we’re out here in a section of space that is… rather crowded.



But Albedo gave us that hot tip that Abel and the Zohar have been transported to Michtam, so to Michtam we go.



You know you’re living in a JRPG when your destination, an entire planet, lights up.



But, as has been established since the second chapter of this little story, Michtam is a highly contested piece of real estate.



So, like always, we’re going to bypass this insurmountable problem through Tony’s cutscene-based piloting powers.



Zoom! For the final time!



It’s blink and you miss it (but immortalized in GIF form), but an ES or two we’ll be encountering shortly make a brief cameo on the battlefield.



Meanwhile, Margulis is having yet another chat with his boss, Heinlein.



“I don’t wanna leave! I like this stupid war!”



And Heinlein gets annoyed enough to…



Finally reveal himself as Wilhelm! Assuming you haven’t been reading this LP, this reveal is unexpected, and the only real “evidence” this was coming was a handful of references to Vector and Ormus working together.



There’s probably a comment here about faith and the fact that Margulis has been following Heinlein for at least fifteen years without ever seeing the guy. In practice, though, it just makes Margulis look like an idiot.



“That's right. Are you surprised? You've served me well all this time, but it seems your faith was too strong. Overly strong faith clouds the eyes. You are no longer able to see what you should. But perhaps that is still good, in its own way.”

Or “Margulis is an idiot” is canon…



Story time!



Another reference to “Jesus Christ” without saying “Jesus Christ”. In case anyone has missed it, Ormus is absolutely future Christianity, albeit a division of it akin to Catholicism or alike.



“Ormus was born approximately 6,000 years ago. It began from the death of the man you worship as your Lord. Officially, it existed to convey the man's existence to coming generations. But its true purpose... was to manage the "words" he passed on.”

Yeah, I’m not much of a Christian Scholar, but I’m pretty sure “magic words” aren’t covered in Sunday School.



Welcome to Crazy Town, everybody! “Lemegeton” was the name of the program from A Missing Year that could be used to summon and control gnosis. It was, essentially, the prototype for The Song of Nephilim. So what Wilhelm just revealed here is that Jesus could summon gnosis, and shared that knowledge with his disciples.

Gonna say that again: Jesus Christ could summon space ghost monsters.

And remember some of the gnosis we have encountered? Ipso facto…

Jesus could summon unicorns.

That’s the backstory for Xenosaga, everybody!



And I guess it’s incidentally the reboot command for the whole of the universe.



“Though it appears the man you call your Lord didn't know that. Of course that was to be expected, for those were the words of Yeshua.”

So Jesus could summon a minotaur, but He didn’t know those same powers could destroy the universe. Why? Because of chaos (aka Yeshua), of course. chaos got some ‘splain’ to do.



“To protect the universe from dissipation, I created an organization to manage and watch over those words. That's Ormus's true objective. Not just the words, but also the artifacts of God, passed down from ancient times. All of them are beyond human control.”

So… Wilhelm isn’t completely a bad guy? He’s just a control freak that figured humanity couldn’t be trusted with holy (literally) power, so he founded an entire damn religion to keep everybody under control. Guess that’s one solution.



Wilhelm is a pretty terrible villain, but he earns my respect for getting bored with Margulis and just being like, “Yeah, your life is a lie. We done? I got places to be.”



And he continues to taunt Margulis with “You wouldn’t even know what to do with our home planet if you had it.”



“I got you this participation trophy. It has your name on it and everything.”



And then Wilhelm’s hired goons arrive.



And the scene ends with Margulis stuttering and Wilhelm commenting that Margulis is still at least worthy to hang out in the final dungeon.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Note that the Testaments seem to be moving in on Margulis. We’ll see if that has any impact on anyone’s next appearance.



Meanwhile, the Elsa has landed.



We arrived on the right planet. Planet. Does anyone have any idea if we’re even on the right continent?



“Let’s just go where the monsters hang out. That usually works.”



Junior reminds us that we’re working on accurate, if entirely vague, directions.



“Don’t wait for us. You’ve nearly died three times doing that exact thing,”



Same as it ever was.



“Shion is standing right here, Junior.”



Canaan is still being moody about that whole “my entire life I’ve been an unwitting spy” thing.



But don’t tell anybody about it or anything!

Okay, so, for the sticklers, NOW is when the last update occurs. After the little chat on the bridge, you’re free to roam around and do whatever. You’re technically parked on the surface of Michtam the entire time, but the UMN is always there to wander around the universe and blur the lines between virtual and reality. Was Dark Professor Monkey living on a virtual Pedea Island? Whatever. Point is that you can do whatever you want before officially setting foot on Michtam, but once you start the final dungeon, there’s no easy escape button to get back to the ship in five seconds. Just something to keep in mind.



Since we already completed all the sidequests last update, we’re hitting Michtam running.



Ziggy immediately has an adverse reaction to Michtam. He’s just upset about it, though, he’s not experiencing any crippling headaches like some party members.



“There’s no crying in giant robots! Let’s roll!”



The final dungeon officially begins now! For the clock watchers, we’re at 19:41 after all those sidequests and whatnot.



There aren’t even any monsters on the surface of this planet, but there’s a crashed spaceship.



That explodes. … Okay?



Oh, I’m sorry, it was detonated as a show of power from Richard and Hermann. Remember them? The loser duo that we beat back on the Ormus Stronghold, and then never saw again? Well, after being mentioned once in this plot, they’re back for a boss battle.



Considering their defeat back on Ormus Stronghold was about as ambiguous a defeat as whatshername with the split personalities from the same dungeon, yeah, I’m surprised they’re still alive, too.



Nobody even bothered to model portraits for these two dorks. You’re stuck with playing the DS version of Xenosaga if you want to see their faces.



Anyway, yeah, Richard is a religious nut, and it’s time to fight.



First of all, Richard and Hermann are piloting the last two ESes to be introduced, ES Gad and ES Joseph. There was a brief mention that these crafts were being prepared in XS2, so Richard and Hermann being “chosen ones” like the rest of the important cast was foreshadowed the tiniest bit.



Gad/Richard is weak to thunder, and Joseph/Hermann is weak to fire. Other than that, the only two against three (kinda four) ES battle in the game is pretty straightforward.



Initially, both Richard and Hermann are pretty weak. They’re not “random monster” weak, but they’re not exactly “boss” strong.



Hermann seems to have (thankfully) lost any healing abilities, but he does have the ability to pump up Richard’s Anima gauge.



That’s important, because Richard can actually be pretty strong if he attacks while in Anima mode. Hermann is never a physical threat.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

But you’re certainly a threat to them.



Richard continues to portray an unhinged personality through his two minutes of screen time.



But he does get concerned if Hermann’s HP drops.



Richard and Hermann will probably enter Anima mode around the same time. Again, Hermann is always a joke, but you want to keep an eye on Richard.



See? Nearly killed MOMO in one shot.



And then Richard’s Anima-fueled special move, Naglfar, completely obliterates Jin. Under normal circumstances, you can easily avoid that outcome by whaling on Richard anytime he gets uppity… but I kinda wanted to see his special for the LP, so there you go.



But, as far as I’m concerned, after he shows the goods, it’s open season.



Oh, Hermann? You’re still here?



Overall, this battle is nothing. It’s a little “this is the final dungeon test”, but even if you skipped all the sidequests and went right from Abel’s Ark to this nonsense, Richard and Hermann are definitively not more difficult than Yuriev and Omega’s final form. I guess this boss battle is only here to clear the board of every last incidental Xenosaga character.



Also so a big scary black ES can pick up Richard and Hermann’s Anima reactors. Gotta catch all those Anima relics.



“Hey remember when that thing tried to kill us around the midpoint of XS2? Allen, back me up on this.”



Starter miniboss is done, time to begin this dungeon in earnest.



… Or not. First, a brief intermission so the party can discuss how creepy this abandoned planet has gotten.



What’s that, Ziggy?



Please buy Xenosaga: Pied Piper to learn more!



Oh yeah, I guess Ziggy never filled in the rest of the party on why he’s got such a mad-on for Voyager/Black Testament.



“It was a bad day all around.”



The database now updates to fill in some data on Pied Piper and Ziggy’s past. It is… kind of weird that the game withheld that information until now. Like, it wasn’t relevant at all before now, but it’s almost like Ziggy’s past (that is explained in another game) is somehow “locked” behind completing most of XS3.



Now we’ve got a proper dungeon going with multiple paths and random monsters milling about. Like most (all?) Xenosaga dungeons, usually you just wind up with two paths, one leads to treasure of variable quality, and the other is the way forward.



Like all ES battles in this game, the greatest “challenge” in these fights is that you are outnumbered, and might fall asleep during the lengthy attack animations of each turn.



I guess we’re fighting U-TIC mechs that vaguely resemble sharkticons? Take a bite out of Ormus.



I do like that this area does generally resemble a “real” city that has been destroyed and forgotten. There are ruined (but recognizable) roads, buildings, and even billboards. I don’t know if this area deliberately echoes maps from Pied Piper, but that’s at least a possibility.



At one point you can exit the ESes to explore an extra area and find one dull treasure. I might be wrong, but I’m assuming this area was relevant to Pied Piper, because otherwise it’s just a completely random building/walkway leading to an uninteresting consumable. Then again, it’s Xenosaga, so who knows.



Just trudging along, heading for some kind of spaceport.



There are some numbered hangars that must be exploded for treasure, a path forward, and absolutely nothing. Surprised they don’t hide any extra encounters behind these doors.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Past the hangar doors is a save point.



This is the final dungeon, so an easy save must mean…



Uh… something?



If anyone was curious about what happened to Michtam’s population, well, I don’t think they decided to carve salt statues of everybody and then leave.



Xenosaga inadvertently paints a picture of a very bleak universe. A host of gnosis turned an entire planet’s population to salt twenty years ago, and the rest of humanity never even thought to stop by and sweep up the place.



Remember the opening of XS3? We know about the last ship to make it off the planet.



Headache! And Shion’s necklace is strobing again.



Allen! You were supposed to be watching her! It was your one job!



It’s also the only path forward, so I guess we’ll follow your indistinct “something” directions.



What is it, girl? Is it the building? Do you want us to go in the building?




Could we use some proper nouns, Shion? You're getting as bad as the ghost girl.



Oh, thank U-DO, an interruption.



I recognize that ES!



It’s Pellegri, everybody! She’s the last U-TIC/Ormus flunky left, so it’s pretty easy to see where this conversation is going to go.



Jin tries to Buddhism his way out of this encounter. Good luck with that, Jin!



As we learned earlier, that’s actually completely inaccurate, but let’s let Pellegri have her moment of knowing something her ex doesn’t.



Pellegri talks about how the Zohar and all that nonsense is Ormus property, so bugger off, Brews.



We’ll… discuss this comment in a minute. Kinda.



But what’s important is that Pellegri and Ormus in general blame the Federation for the destruction of Michtam, aka Bad Guy Hometown. Kind of a nice flip on the typical JRPG dynamic.



And, yes, it’s a short trip from “the Federation destroyed Michtam” to “Ormus then plotted to destroy Miltia as revenge”. War is the finest perpetual motion machine Man has ever devised.



Insert your own American Republican Party joke at your leisure.



We haven’t gotten to spend nearly enough time with Pellegri, but she’s apparently going full hog on her belief in Ormus and the whole “I hate the Federation” dogma.




Though she seems a bit jealous of Jin’s own freedom.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Ya know, if I were making a JRPG today, I’d make the villain literally “Fate”, because that concept seems to be no end of problems for JRPG heroes. However, Chrono Cross already beat me to the punch…



And you know how this goes.



We already fought ES Issachar during XS2, and this battle isn’t much more difficult. Pellegri’s robo form doesn’t have any overt strengths or weaknesses, so it’s a pretty routine battle.



Jin is still objecting to this whole mess.



I remember the last time I tried to tell my ex not to try to kill me with her giant robot. Long story short, my knees still creak when it rains.



Pellegri is stronger than the two doofuses we fought on the way in, but not by much. All these ES battles really feel muted after Abel’s Ark and its host of celestial monsters.



Hysteric Anima? Really, Xenosaga? One villainess in this franchise with an ES, and she’s got a move called “Hysteric Anima”?



Like all other ES bosses (starting with Yuriev’s Omega), Pellegri has an Anima mode and an accompanying special attack.



Though, in this battle, I didn’t wait around for her to use the special attack… so just pretend this image is of some crazy staff/spear attack that I’m sure she has.



And we’re done.



And we save the big explosions for the cinema after the fight.



I think Virgil has been the only person in this franchise with the brains to actually leave a damaged mech.



It's the end of the franchise. She does.



“I told you, it doesn't matter anymore. Each person must walk on their own path. Your path and mine, just simply did not cross.”



Jin begs for any reason for Pellegri to hold on and not go down with her ship.



But…



Not happening.



And one giant explosion marks the end of Pellegri.



So let’s talk about her! Pellegri gets her own denouement in this LP because Xenosaga had no idea what to do with the poor gal.

In Xenosaga Episode 1, Pellegri appears to be the “heart” of U-TIC. Margulis and Cherenkov both callously eliminate an entire planet, but Pellegri asks if that was necessary. When Albedo joins the cast, it’s Pellegri that queries, “should we really trust him?” Yes, Pellegri is basically there so Margulis isn’t simply talking to himself (or an anonymous grunt) while he hangs around the U-TIC command center, but her scenes do seem to portray a woman that is genuinely conflicted about her religion/organization taking drastic, deadly measures.

In Xenosaga Episode 2, Pellegri transforms into Margulis’s sadistic assistant. Like other battle secretaries on the villain’s side (Citrine, Orgulla), she appears as a proxy for her more villainous (and male) counterpart. Her command of Richard & Hermann represents her less like a caring woman in an organization of psychopaths, and more like… Doronjo. Note also that she has no significant interaction with Jin (though does in the anime).

In Xenosaga Episode 3, Pellegri is still as sadistic as her XS2 incarnation, but has now picked up a sordid (and presumably romantic) past with Jin. They apparently broke up because she was too devoted to her faith? Who can tell. While she seems to slip into Orgulla’s “inquisitor” role around Shion’s incarceration, at the end, as we’ve just seen, she’s a woman that laments her unyielding dedication to her religion. Though in this case her sympathies seem to only lie with her own sorry lot in the universe, and not the millions of people that have died in the Machiavellian name of U-TIC/Ormus.

Xenosaga does a fairly a miraculous job of keeping most of its cast consistent between games (which, again, were released over a period of years with a varying staff and goals), but Pellegri kind of slipped through the cracks somewhere. There is potential in practically every incarnation of the woman, but the lack of consistency makes a number of defining traits (like her relationship with Jin) difficult to parse.

At least Jin gets to be sad about his self-fridged ex, I suppose.



We now resume our explosion already in progress.



The black ES (hm…) grabs the Anima relic formerly in Pellegri’s possession and hightails it out of there.



Ziggy seems… concerned.



Really guys? Really? Jin just went through uncontrollably pleading with an enemy not to die… and we’re asking Ziggy if he’s okay? Bah!



Hey, that’s convenient.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“So it’d be really fitting if somebody brought it back to the exact same place after a hundred years.”



If there are any points in the future where you have to say “wouldn’t it have been convenient if Ziggy mentioned this earlier?” it’s because Ziggy has a partial memory of that time he literally blew his brains out. Everybody got that? Good.



Oh no! Ziggy and Canaan are falling into a mopey endless loop! MOMO! Deploy kittens!



“And a short walk from here.”



Kind of burying the lead there with it being “Ormus Headquarters”. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s kind of an Ormus link with everyone that is trying to kill us.



Just past the Pellegri battle, we get a prompt to skip the rest of this stupid city and go right to our destination. Don’t know why the map doesn’t just transition without a prompt…



Here we are! That spire on the left looks like it’s doing the “live long and prosper” thing.



Good, that dialogue box didn’t lie to us.



More monsters, more architecture to destroy.



That statue is actually hiding an Update File. As we learned last update, you want every last one of those things.



Great, now I’m going to spend all day going through old updates and trying to find hidden Zohars in the building textures.



Jin, I’m going to let this bit of obviousness slide because you’re having a bad day.



Canaan, when did you become the resident history buff?



Again, I only got a summary of Pied Piper, and not the whole script, but I’m pretty sure that Ziggy never actually learned that. Or if he did learn that, he probably should have shown up to the stage of his own death with a little more backup.



There is a lot of rubble around the cathedral courtyard, but there is a treasure hiding back in there. We’ll get that shortly.



In the meanwhile, may as well save and shop. The big ol’ front door is locked, anyway.



Accessing this shop plate updates the shop for the final time. Now you can purchase the best ES equipment available, and now (even with having to retrace your steps through this dungeon) would probably be the best time to tackle the Omega ID hidden boss of last update.

Oh, speaking of last update, did you notice something about this update? We haven’t faced a single battle outside of the ESes this entire dungeon. Know something else? All of those cool super weapons and accessories we earned last update? None of them work while in an ES. All those sidequests, and we didn’t earn a single item that aids ES combat. We will eventually hit the on-foot section of this dungeon, at least, but it won’t be this update.



Anyway, we have to navigate around the rubble to find the church’s side entrance.



And once we’re inside, we’ll immediately exit out the other side entrance…



To grab an accessory that increases our earned gold (credits) per battle. That will be useful for buying new ES equipment or KOS-MOS’s ultimate weapon.



Okay, now we’re going to go into the cathedral proper and check out this altar.



Yeah, ya knew this was coming, didn’t you? Hi, Voyager.



I’m sorry, this is less of an altar, and more like a pulpit. Get ready for the Book of Erich.



Juli had Ziggy’s profile at his introduction (and we, the audience, heard it all by proxy), but I think this is the first Ziggy mentions his miserable past to his fellow Realian Justice Warriors. I like to think that Junior has the immediate realization that he’s been kind of a dick to the “old man”.



“Look, you already killed my real family, and this story has apparently forgotten all about MOMO, so there’s nothing you can do to hurt me now.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Voyager is still pissed that Ziggy would rather be dead than immortal. … And I guess he wound up as an immortal anyway.



“Nah, that’s alright. I don’t look good in a plague mask.”



What’s this?



Gasp! It’s a good thing Junior decided to actually bring Canaan along on this trip, or Voyager talking about this nonsense might be completely wasted!



And Ziggy learns that Canaan has been his old buddy Lactis all along. This would probably have been more interesting if Canaan and Ziggy interacted before this moment, like, ever.



So, naturally, Canaan starts referring to Ziggy as “Captain” like back in the Pied Piper days. This is probably more dramatic for anyone that played Pied Piper. Also, I really hope the original translation is “senpai”.



“We trusted you… uh… uh…” “It's Canaan.” “Yeah! Canaan!”



Canaan’s betrayal would be a lot more dramatic if (choose one):
1. Canaan had been with the party since the beginning (like Episode 1).
2. Wilhelm didn’t already have near omniscient knowledge of what the party was doing at all times (before Canaan even met everyone).
3. Wilhelm didn’t already have super powerful Testament goons that pop up whenever they feel like it.
4. The audience didn’t already know about this “betrayal” for hours.
5. Canaan was remotely relevant to any event in this game.



Voyager uncharacteristically softens the blow by pointing out that Junior and like half the party were engineered for specific purposes (Junior – weapon, KOS-MOS – weapon, MOMO – old man guilt).



Canaan saved Junior’s life fifteen years ago… and I guess they’ve spoken a couple of times since then.



“Hey, Voyager, why are you such a dick?”



“I became a Testament to escape the fear of death, and to obtain eternal pleasure. It had nothing to do with you, Jan Sauer.”

Skulking around in a black cloak doesn’t exactly strike me as “eternal pleasure”.



“The reason I concern myself with you is extremely simple. I just want to enjoy my eternal life along with you.”

You just said!... Oh, never mind, you confused little man.



Again, Voyager has major issues with Ziggy’s suicidal rejection.



Gee, ya think?



“… On a silly little cell phone game.”



Oh, Black ES belongs to Black Testament. That makes sense.



I don’t know why Xenosaga didn’t go the extra mile and have Voyager reveal that he was responsible for Ziggy being cyber-resurrected just so he could kill him again. We obviously blew past the idea that this plot might be subtle around when it was revealed Jesus could summon goblins.



Oh snap!



“I’m gonna boss fight you so bad!”



BEHOLD THE GLORY OF THE ES DAN!



ES Dan is appropriately more difficult than the jabronis that exploded earlier. In fact, if you missed the shop update, ES Dan might completely slaughter your party right out of the gate. Testaments don’t shiv.



And he’s got wicked harsh attacks, brah.



Hey, remember when the ES Dan was introduced, and it teleported away before ES Dinah could counter with its X-Buster? Payback.



ES Dan adopts a similar defensive measure as Omega ID: after every turn, its elemental weaknesses and resistances shuffle.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Like with Omega ID, the trick is to ideally use your special attacks when they’ll do the most damage, or at least don’t use a special attack that will do exactly zero damage because Dan has a resistance up at the moment. You’ll also want to be equipped with an accessory that always shows resistance information, because guessing is terrible.



Oh, also like Omega ID, Voyager is prone to counterattacks, and will also counter allies attempting to help and adding extra attacks. Keep everyone’s HP high just to make sure they don’t die to an unexpected counter.



Uh…. No?



Just what I expected.



Here is Voyager’s big ol’ special attack. As you can see, it nearly completely wipes my entire party.



But I got a healthy amount of revenge a moment later. You were a flash in the pan, Dan.



Voyager’s Anima Relic makes its exit when the ES falls. Let’s see here… Virgil and Albedo already lost their relics before this dungeon started, then Richard, Hermann, Pellegri, and now Voyager. That’s six Anima Relics down. We’ve got four in the party, so there are only two to go.



ES Dan might be done, but Voyager is still here.



Why couldn’t this hooded jerk blow up with his ship?



But Ziggy is willing to help him along.



Not a scratch on him and whatnot.



Take off every Zig.



But… that doesn’t so much work.



Ziggy, you had one advantage over this dork, and it was a giant robot. Why did you leave your giant robot?



Well, we “killed” two Testaments with kindness… uh… Does anybody here have a secret past love affair with Voyager? Anybody?



Oh, he has a thing for redheads?



Again, this whole “everybody is calling each other by their Pied Piper names” thing would be a lot more relevant if we ever even had an opportunity to play Pied Piper. We're hanging a lot of emotional weight on optional content.



Technically, you were his subordinate too, Erich.



Let’s make a deal: would you like to be… double immortal?



Canaan makes a good point: Voyager is immortal, but only by Wilhelm’s will. And we’re probably going to punch Wilhelm to death eventually, so…



This is a clever bit of story logic: Canaan/Lactis is the only person here (other than Ziggy) that knows Voyager got to be Voyager by betraying everybody else on the police force, so it makes perfect sense that Voyager would be afraid of someone similarly betraying him.



Yes, I suppose if Canaan is to be the ultimate spy, his brain would have to be linked to Wilhelm’s private dropbox.



Gasp! I’m glad we checked that datalog on Wilhelm’s favorite desk ornament, otherwise we’d have no idea what everyone is talking about.



Well, I’m sure the good guy offering a deal for ultimate power to the bad guy is an agreement with no strings attached.



Gasp! Wait, no, we already have a Red Testament. Orange Testament?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“Knowing what I’ve done, I just can’t bear to look Allen in the eyes again.”



“Okay, yeah, omnipotence sounds like a pretty good deal. I’ll bring you to Big Jim’s House of Cloaks later.”



“I guess I have to magically connect to your brain or something? Do you have a manual?”



This is what a Wi-Fi network looks like from the inside.



“It’s so shiny!”



Hey, how’d that work out for the last couple of villains that said that?



Whoops!



Don’t you log off now, buddy.



Pretty much all of fiction has prepared me for the day I am offered omnipotent holy power. Never try, because it always ends poorly.



It rhymes with “Binstant Beth”.



Ho ho, did you use some of that infinite knowledge to figure that out, genius?



And Canaan and Voyager both begin to fade away.



Shades of Pellegri’s death from earlier, Ziggy pleads with Canaan to not die, too.



“I had a good century of not caring going, and you’ve ruined it!”



Canaan sees this as the only way to atone for his crimes and escape his ultimate fate as a spy. I guess nonexistence is a pretty good way to get out of your job.



“I truly want another reason to exist. I want to protect... every one of us.”

Another reason to exist that lasts like sixty seconds…



“Have you considered just moving to another planet and not observing us?”
“Oh, that’s a thought… Wait, no, I’m dead now.”



Canaan’s final words (somehow delivered without lungs) are “I pray for the success of the mission.” I assume this is a significant phrase from Pied Piper, as it’s not uttered at all in XS2 or XS3.



And only stormy pinkness remains.



“Hey, the rest of the party is alive. And Voyager is dead this time. That’s a plus.”



“I’m sure he’s happier not existing.”



Oh yeah, that’s the second time someone committed suicide at Voyager. He just brings it out in people.



So let’s talk about the winners and losers from this bout.

Canaan… you know what I’m going to say here, right? He’s yet another XS character that got the tiniest bit of development, but then attempts to wring a big, dramatic finale out of a teacup’s worth of story.

Canaan should have been a main character. If he were actually “always there, observing”, it would mean a lot more to hear about his eternal spy status. As it is, though, he’s a guest in the party for a couple of key scenes, but he’s entirely missing for some of the bigger events (he didn’t bother with the time travel adventure, for instance). And when Canaan is around, it’s not like he particularly does anything. After his (admittedly promising) introduction in XS2, Canaan basically joins the party as a sentient USB drive, and when Jin pries the data out of his noggin, it’s the revelations of the data that takes center stage, not the guy that is finally unburdened by it. Then, in XS3, Canaan is revealed to be working with Shion, Scientia, and Miyuki… which basically paints him as the random go-fer of the good guys. That isn’t an all-seeing spy that has been bugging the party for years, that’s practically Allen.

And you know that when your part (unwilling spy) would be better played by Allen, something has gone terribly wrong.

So Canaan’s big moment saving the entire party from a villain that has been lurking around since XS2 only really feels earned if you consider Canaan to be 100% the same character that got much more development during Pied Piper. Which a healthy number of people never got to play. I suppose that brings us to…

Jan “Ziggy” Sauer has an interesting, highly relatable arc that, incidentally, ended in Episode 2.

Ziggy’s big deal is that, to put in mundane terms, he’s terminally (ha!) depressed over the traumatic loss of his family, and initially believes that life is literally not worth living. Over time, he “adopts” MOMO as a daughter, grows closer to the rest of the party (Junior, Juli), and finds a new reason to be happy and live. This culminates during the finale of XS2, when Ziggy decides he’s going to go through life-extending surgery rather than have his brain scooped out with a melon baller.

But, like so many sci-fi heroes, Ziggy always had a “deep, mysterious past”, so somebody had to toss that into the narrative. Voyager aka Black Testament aka Erich was introduced so that Ziggy’s crazy past could be front and center, and then we’d have an excuse to spend a lot of time in the present worrying about the past. Voyager exists exclusively for Ziggy’s benefit, and he works for that purpose.

Unfortunately, that purpose didn’t quite work.

Unlike Ziggy’s very human XS1-XS2 problem, Voyager and all the baggage he brings to the table boils down to a revenge story. At its core, this tale is the age old “cop chases a serial killer that incidentally killed cop’s family”. That archetype was likely done to death sometime after the prehistoric era, and, frankly, Xenosaga does nothing interesting with it. Yes, it’s great to see that Ziggy does have emotions and he’s willing to “go Junior” on one specific guy in the universe… but, that’s the man responsible for practically everything wrong in Ziggy’s life. It would almost be a more fascinating story if Ziggy didn’t give a damn. To be clear, I’m not saying Ziggy should be acting differently around the murderer of his family, simply that all this “I’m going to end you” talk reverts Ziggy from a unique “sad dad cop” adult character to… hell, the most obvious comparison would be Cloud and Sephiroth’s game-long rivalry.

Ultimately, Ziggy is a phenomenal character in XS1/XS2, but kind of devolves into a typical JRPG hero for XS3. The endearing daddy/daughter relationship with MOMO is largely ignored, and we’ve got a fairly rote revenge tale to finish before the curtain closes. Granted, it’s kind of a wonder Ziggy gets any spotlight at all in this labyrinthine plot, so maybe I should quit complaining. I’m sure the “perfect” (and imaginary) Xenosaga would have remembered Ziggy is a lot more than the sum of his tragic past, and that would have been a Ziggy worth explicit praising.



Post battle, the database updates, and the front doors of the church are now open. I’m sure you want to sit down and read the life and times of Voyager now.



So we’re at 20:39, and we’re going to call it for today. There’s still a lot more dungeon to go, but I’m going to need a week to recover from the lost of whatshisname. You know, with the hair? Hermann? Whoever that was.

Next time on Xenosaga: Nobody gets out of Ormus alive.

I always liked the music used in Voyager's scenes here. Dunno if they're a remix of any track from Pied Piper or not and, much like the question of whether or not some of the buildings around Michtam were referencing that game, we'll probably never, ever know.

Anyway, when I was playing Episode III I was just glad they were giving Ziggy anything resembling closure at all, honestly. I always felt he was a bit shortchanged in the first two Episodes with the extended focus on Junior/Albedo. I went into Episode III knowing the events of Pied Piper and at the time I wasn't thinking too critically about how Voyager kind of blunted what was great about Ziggy, I was just happy to see him get a big moment in the finale at all.

Looking back though his best moments definitely were in the first two episodes, and he even has to be bailed out of his last big attack against Voyager by Canaan. He's literally pushed into the background for Voyager's final moments. Oh well!

At least Ziggy was able to point the party to the loction of the Zohar? But, let's be honest, how long would it REALLY have taken for someone to spot the giant intact Cathedral and say "Hey maybe it's there."?

Hee hee.