Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

And the door hiding the Robot’s Head is up on the far right of the roofs above the Kukai Foundation. Note that this is 100% only accessible after (or during) the gnosis siege. So, technically, you could have all these pieces before heading to The Song of Nephilim.



The final relevant decoder is hiding on The Song of Nephilm itself, in the Third Tower, tucked away and hiding. It is easily missed, given the danger of the surrounding area. You can’t leave The Song until after the area is completed, so you can’t cash in your final decoder until it’s time for the final dungeon.



And the Robot’s Body is hidden way back at the Dock Colony in the basement of the Talk to Me! item shop. It’s a completely nondescript, “why would you ever return here” location, but it’s at least easy to get to when you know you have to go there (if you found this door on your first visit, there is a menu in Xenosaga reminding you of its location).



Now we’ve caught ‘em all, let’s see how the Professor’s story goes.



This chapter activates if you’ve acquired both arms.



For the record, you can collect these pieces before ever meeting Professor, so the “faster” thing could be a meta joke. At this point, the only “trouble” involved in collecting pieces was like one gnosis.



And Shion tries to play hardball when Professor indicates that he might squelch on the deal.



But nothing is going to get done until someone cleans up the place.



Yes, of course I’ll actually do what I said I would if you just do this one more thing.



As we blast all the junk around the Academy to “clean” the area, I consider that, were this a modern Persona game, this is likely where Shion would gain a maid costume…



Pats on the head all around!



Marvel as “Robot Arms” are transformed into “Robot Arms”.



Throni Blade is our first Robot Summon. Yes, each set of Robot Pieces is converted into an ether attack that Shion can utilize. Given Shion doesn’t have any multi-hit tech attacks until late in the game, I want to say this is here to compensate. Throni is pretty alright, but it won’t set the world on fire. Because offensive ether attacks may only be utilized once per battle, and drain limited EP, they’re very situational.



Return with a bot pair of legs, and Chapter 3 begins.



Oh, this oughtta be good.



Before the term “intern” became popular...



Here comes the Professor’s very own Allen.



Hey!



In an act of defiance, we will talk to Scott like a real human.



I mean… Assistant Scott.



Assistant Scott now joins in the button pressing fun when modifying a robot piece.



Fun fact! I can’t type Dominion Tank Police without adding a “Police” to the end.



Dominion Tank Police roll out! I like that half the animation is the tank just... leaving.



I’ll form the head with Chapter 4.



Oh no!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Welp, looks like this relationship has soured pretty quickly.



Aw, I guess he’s not completely Allen #2. This model has a spine.



Professor has a problem.



Unlike Allen, Assistant Scott has the support of Shion.



Professor is mad at everybody today!



Assistant Scott is only making things worse.



You can’t fire Assistant Scott, he quits!



Screw that guy!



This Robot Head is clearly a Prince of All Cosmos prototype.



Seraphim Bird is the next attack. Zoom, and whatnot. If you haven’t noticed by now, each Robot Attack is an anime vehicle mixed with a Biblical Angelic Order. Ah, remember when mixing anime and Christianity was new and novel? … No?



Bring back Robot Body and the Final Chapter begins.



Friendship is important!



It’s always great when a plan comes together.



But let’s not ask about Assistant Scott.



I’m sure this will go well!



We can convert the body piece, but we still need to link everything together.



Technically, it’s six robot pieces, and four kinds of robots, Professor.



The East is not burning red.



No giant robot for you without the power of friendship.



So we have to go retrieve Assistant Scott, who is drowning his sorrows at that same bar Allen utilized a couple updates back. Guess these guys are pretty alike.



Shion literally doesn’t even speak, Assistant Scott just immediately comes around to what needs to be done.



And the finale.



Where would we be without Love, Justice, and Courage?



Professor doesn’t believe anything needs to be said.



Shion needs to meddle!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Or not…



D’aww. Friendship. I think we've all learned a valuable lesson about codependency and enabling.



And true feelings are revealed while tapping on keyboards. This is the power of engineering!



And we’ve got our own (invincible) giant robot.



So, good news, bad news. First the bad news: Erde Kaiser requires all of Shion’s (non-expandable) Ether slots. This means that, while Erde Kaiser is equipped, Shion does not have access to her valuable healing ethers, nor her completely unique “steal” command. She can still use special techs, of course, but any other ether skills are out of the question. Also, Erde Kaiser requires 60 EP to use, which Shion should have, without any extra grinding or skill point allocation, around level 50. You’ll note she’s currently around 30. However, there is an accessory that cuts EP cost in half, so 30 is much more manageable. The good news…



♪ Go fighting Erde Kaiser! ♪



♪ Go fighting Erde Kaiser! ♪



♪ Fight for Love, Justice, and Courage! Fight for everything we're not!♪



♪ With all the power of Professor and Assistant Scooooooooot! ♪



Erde Kaiser always does an insane 9999 of damage to all enemies. Always. You can only obtain this attack at the end of the game, but at that point, there’s a whole two enemies that will still be standing after summoning Erde Kaiser, and one of them topples over after a follow-up hit from MOMO. Technically, with enough “ethers”, you could conquer the entire final dungeon by just walking around, summoning Erde Kaiser every battle, and then guzzling something to refill EP. You have to work for it a little, but Erde Kaiser is almost literally the win button for this game.

About the robot and his mistress, Erde Kaiser is basically the god of all robots in this series, so the name seems appropriate. Additionally, he sports a very “moon” theme, which fits deliberately with Shion’s other moon references (the “lunar blade” attacks, her attraction to bunnies, etc.), and, according to ElloniaNightingale’s Battle Quote FAQ on Gamefaqs, the literal translation of that haiku is…

Trying so hard to stop
creating mounds of corpses
the way of war gods.
As the full moon rise
tears flow from my eyes.

Radical. Shion’s second favorite robot.



So what other sidequests are there? Well, we can take those –seeds- we found on the Cathedral Ship and bring them to Luty at the Dock Colony.



She’s a happy mute.



Return a little later in the game, and the seeds are coming along nicely.



And at the end of the game, it blooms.



She speaks!



Shion solved all the problems in the universe forever! Yay!



Nope!



For our troubles, we get a Tech Upgrade Z, which is useful, but it’s no Door Decoder.



There are a pair of “super bosses” in Xenosaga Episode 1. Both are found by poking around completely arbitrary areas and, more importantly, having the right character at the front of your party. To my knowledge, there’s nothing in the game that indicates you would ever have to put a particular character in the lead, so, unlike “accidently” finding Emerald Weapon or fighting to the end of a dedicated dungeon, the hidden bosses in this game pretty much require a FAQ.



So, discoverable only by Junior, Great Joe is hiding in a random closet on the Durandal.



Great Joe kind of has a cowboy/gunslinger motif going on.



Any fans of Xenogears will remember the reoccurring comic relief character Big Joe. Aside from being completely random like his forefather (or descendant?), Great Joe has basically nothing to do with any other Joes, and is primarily just an easter egg. Ultimately, he could be named anything.



And here’s Great Joe enjoying Junior’s latest tech.



Great Joe uses a few status effects and hits hard. He’s no Ruby Weapon, but he’d probably be difficult for an unprepared party. Other than that, he’s a pretty straightforward boss.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Also note that Great Joe is gnosis type. His “clothes” are very… organic. Also, I think he has cannons attached to his armpits, which is unusual for most humans.



Here’s KOS-MOS’s final tech, the Rad Dragon. It’s just an excuse to hit things.



When you defeat Great Joe, he doesn’t fade or anything, just starts seeing birdies.



He disappears, but grants Junior a new technique… and a swimsuit. Weird guy.



Soul Rhapsody is the new technique, and it sucks up gnosis. Why should you bother with this attack? Well, for every five gnosis it defeats, it powers up a new ether attack that Junior acquired…



Yes, now Junior can summon Great Joe like Shion summons giant robots.



Great Joe isn’t as great (ha!) as Erde Kaiser, but, if you feel like grinding gnosis into that special tech, he’ll get stronger as you go, and could conceivably come in handy. Mind you, earning this technique at the end of the game, when you’ve already got a host of other options available, is kind of pointless… but, hey, why not? Do it for Joe.



For our second boss, drag MOMO across the rooftops of that bar we always seem to be returning to within the Kukai Foundation.



Similarly out of nowhere, here’s Mintia.



Sure!



Don’t worry, AGWS are stupid anyway.



Mintia is considered “far”, so bully on me for not including Junior in my battle party.



Mintia can be a complicated battle if you make it one. Mintia doesn’t really hit hard, but the majority of her attacks are meant to take you down in HP no matter your defense. She’s got poison (which, reminder, in Xenosaga Episode 1, always saps a set amount of HP based on your max), and other moves that work like Final Fantasy’s gravity magic, always sapping a set percentage of HP.



This works “well” with her other big attack, which saps all of a character’s health save 1 HP. If you’ve got a big pile of HP, this has the potential to restore all of Mintia’s HP. She’s got Death’s 7,777 HP, so here she refills more than half of it by sucking down on KOS-MOS’s absurd HP total.



So, basically, the key to victory is to keep your HP at a level where you’re still alive, but not leaving much for Mintia to “eat”. There’s a huge difference between Mintia stealing 300 or 3,000 HP… so basically this entire battle is based on ignoring every JRPG impulse and leaving your HP NOT maxed out. Neat way to flip the script.



I’m not going to admit that, thanks to my stupidly huge HP totals, this battle took me forty minutes.



This allows MOMO to summon that Shuma Gorath thingy during a tech attack. It works like Final Fantasy’s “morph” technique, and allows MOMO to transform gnosis into items. Most of the items are sellable valuable gems, but this is also (inexplicably) how you acquire chaos’s final weapon, The Holey Gloves. Oh yes, all of chaos’s “weapons” are gloves of degrading thickness (because he “is” the weapon, so anything that allows more power to leak through is stronger), so his final weapon is a delicious holey/holy pun. Bless you, Xenosaga.



Mintia is never seen again.

About these super bosses, with Great Joe’s “goofy” animations and vocal cues, and Mintia’s intricate design and “pet” eldritch horror, I can’t help but wonder where these designs originated. Both of these bosses are, of course, “noncanon”, and never return for future installments (not even so much as a cameo, if I recall). My pet, completely unsupported theory? Both of these bosses, with their half gnosis/half human motifs, were early Xenosaga character designs before the “rules” of gnosis (no switching for anyone but Testaments, no functioning “half breeds”) were established. Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe I just want to imagine a world where super serious Wilhelm has goth lolita and cowboy sidekicks.



MOMO doesn’t have her own special summons, but she does have a few unique costumes. One is hidden in the Cathedral Ship (and I’m not going back for a screen capture), and the other is completely arbitrarily hidden in the Second Tower of The Song of Nephilim. You’ll miss it if MOMO isn’t the head of your party… and why would you be using MOMO in The Song? She’s not even MOMO there!



MOMO’s armor ethers let her go full magical girl.



Here’s her first available “combat armor”, Star Wind.



This one provides a lot of support skills. Star Veil (pictured) is “magic barrier” and Star Action will max someone’s action points from 0 to 6. Reminder: everyone receives 4 AP a round just standing there.



And here’s the one from The Song of Nephilim, Starlight.



It has more combat oriented spells, and the ability to summon a particularly pissy Bunnie.

These armors… suck. Yes, the transformation improves MOMO’s stats, but you can only transform for a round or three, and using the most powerful ether or special technique for each armor will instantly cause MOMO to revert. And you have to equip all ether/special techniques beforehand, so if the transformation goes poorly (like, because MOMO has the lamest HP pool of any character), you’re stuck practically defenseless in normal form. Yes, they make MOMO more viable, but every other character is already more viable, and they don’t have to transform to get there. Basically, they’re a cute novelty, and, while I’m sure someone has found a way to exploit them to conquer the game, they’re pretty much useless in normal play.

And that’s about it for “bonus content” for Xenosaga Episode 1. There’s a third “Super Boss” in the form of Ace Pilot, a mech hiding back on the U-TIC Ship from Junior’s introductory chapter, but that fight is basically just an HP attrition affair, and doesn’t offer anything interesting in the way of plot or prizes or… anything, really. Just an excuse to use your AGWS for once, but who cares?

Other than that, we’ve seen everything in Xenosaga Episode 1. Only one thing left to do…

Next time on Xenosaga: All good things must fall apart into 28,000 pieces.

The names for the various Erde Kaiser parts share names with Xenogears' element crony team of Ramsus, the Elements. They've even got a two phase fight, one with all 4 of them on foot, then they hop in to their gears which Voltron together. Dominia (dominion), Tolone (throne) Seraphita, aND something else

Wasn't spoilers an ex Element?

Anyway, Erde Kaiser is great! Surely it's shown up in like, Project X Zone or its ilk, right?

Kelbim Dragon (body piece), Kelvena the Element. Yeah, I don't think there's ever been confirmation if it was a Xenogears references (which would make sense with the Voltron connection), or if it was just reusing the same Biblical reference the Elements used first.

And not only was spoilers an ex element, but so was bullet dad and butler man, if memory serves.

As far as Erde Kaiser's legacy, don't worry everyone, the Professor will return in future Xenosaga chapters! The dream of invincible giant robots will never die! Until it does!

... But I don't think Erde Kaiser ever made it out of the franchise.

I distinctly recall that, somehow, I had far less trouble with Mintia than with one of the plot bosses much earlier in the game. Bit of a letdown, really.

I remember the door decoders, but I must not have got very many because I do not remember the megazord. And I watched enough Power Rangers, that I definitely would have remembered that.

I doubt I played it back in the day with a FAQ, so that's probably why I don't remember any of this bonus stuff.

I can't remember - does Erde Kaiser have the hillbilly voice in this one, or is that just in 3?

here's the best video I could find on YouTube of Erde Kaiser in action.

Man, Erde Kaiser in 3 is enough to one shot the final boss.

STORY TIIIIIIIIME

So in 2006, I had rented the game for five days... and I was using a generator for power. That in and of itself is a long story, but the why's don't matter for this.

I had unlocked Erde Kaiser in 3 and my generator was about to run out of power. I had wanted to do a final, true battle against the fuck, but I was afraid of running out of power, especially considering there would be a final cutscene(I had not taken into account the length of a Xenosaga final game cutscene, FYI).

So, with all the sorrow in my soul, I cast it and destroyed him. To this day, I regret my decision, but it was the only choice I had.

One day, I will replay that wretched abomination of a game, and I will truly defeat that fucking bastard. It/They/Etc will be defeated on their terms, and thus mocked forever more.

They'll be destroyed the fair way, the just way, the true way. I will beat this piece of shit game on its own terms, and make it my bitch. I will get my revenge for it ruining the writing in the series.

Pretty sure that's only in 3. But I don't think Erde Kaiser even talks before Episode III anyway, so for all we know it had a hillbilly voice all along.

Conveniently, the video also showcases the Ace Pilot optional boss that I skipped. Good find!

And, yes, Erde Kaiser, Professor, and Assistant Scott are all silent in this game. That will improve in later episodes.

GoggleBob: Thank you for doing this.

I've been wanting to say that for months. Warts and all, Xenosaga Episode I is one of my favorite games of all time. I have unrelentingly fond memories of it, and could do Albedo's crazy, misogynist monologue on command once upon a time.

The game is flawed, and the series itself is horrendously uneven (I actually just went through the whole trilogy again recently so my wife could experience the story), but ultimately I love the characters, I love the things it gets right, and the things it gets wrong are ultimately so interesting and/or hilarious that I can't help but love it. It's an ambitious, earnest, entirely uncynical trilogy of anime madness and they deserve to be talked about more often than they are.

Your delivery of this Let's Play has been nothing short of outstanding, a fantastic and hilarious-to-the-point-of-tears walk down memory lane for me. It's also an entertaining and pretty damn comprehensive run through for anyone experiencing it for the first time this way. Not only are you funny, but you are consistently insightful in big and small ways. The most recent example is that I had absolutely never noticed the horrible pun that is chaos' ultimate weapon!

So again, thank you. I may not pop in and say something after every update, but I have literally checked my phone daily since you started this LP. You're doing Yeshua's work, and I can't wait to see your running commentary on Episode II!

Before I begin the update properly, I want to thank everyone that has offered their praise during this LP. I don't get to respond to everybody, mainly because I'm never quite certain what to say ("Why, yes, I am great, thank you for noticing."), but it's appreciated. I'm not doing this for the fame, but, yeah, I likely would have given up a while ago if it wasn't for you folks.

Anyway...

Previously on Xenosaga: The two best characters in the franchise were introduced. I’m talking about Professor and Erde Kaiser. I’m not certain Assistant Scott even ranks…



Alright, after all the sidequests and poking around some previous areas for Door Decoder prizes (not pictured, I haven’t got all day), we’re at the 24 hour mark for the game. I could have played Super Metroid, like, eleven times!



You are allowed to leave the Proto Merkabah after docking there, so it’s not your final choice in the game or anything, but it is the final choice for my game. I am so done with Episode 1 at this point…



Junior, once again, is putting this whole situation on his tiny lil baby shoulders.



Shion assures him that it’s just what anyone with a crazy death-bot in tow would do. Oh, and Vector approves… saving an entire planet. Seriously, who would veto that idea?



Allen has to get in one last weenie comment before the big show.



Oh, I think I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow.



MOMO confirms that, because the Proto Merkabah was basically a floating MOMO factory, it won’t have any anti-space weapons… just piles and piles of mechanical enemies once we’re inside. Yay.



And Gaignun confirms that we’re inexplicably the only heroes fit for the job.



Seriously? There’s no one on the whole of the Durandal, Second Miltia, and the Kukai Foundation that’s more qualified than these nine characters? And Allen?



Ah ha ha. Have you met Junior?



Alright, time to get this boat a-floatin’.



Somebody play that one song from Chrono Trigger! You know! That one!



Vrooooom.



So, like The Song of Nephilim, you’ve got the Elsa as a home base, and, unlike The Song, you can leave whenever you’d like by talking to Captain Matthews. I do like that someone calls your JRPG party on being a JRPG party (“Seven days until Meteor hits? Let’s hit the Golden Saucer!”)



Hey, ya know what I never explained in this LP? Skills and S.Points! Let’s do that!



So, like a lot of JRPGS, every worthwhile accessory in this game has an additional attribute, like “Poison Guard” (which prevents poison), and, with S.Points, you can affix up to three of these attributes to a character “permanently”. Back on The Song, we gave everyone KO Guard, because there are just mobs of enemies there that use instant KO attacks, and those get real annoying, real fast. Other than that, we’ve basically ignored S.Points, because I knew that this day would come eventually.



See, also like a lot of JRPGs, the really good accessories aren’t accessible until late in the game. If you blew all your S.Points early on Poison Guard or Silence Guard (or whatever those skills are called), then you likely only have enough points to acquire one “Level 5” skill per character. However, if you miserly hoard your skill points until around the finale, you’ll have enough points to splurge on all the best skills, and you won’t have missed anything of value (oh boy, I’m immune to poison, that’s really going to help against the final boss that never uses poison). Mind you, I cheated myself into having as many S.Points as I please, but it’s the principle of the thing.



Having three accessory abilities can make a huge difference. So, for instance, I’ve outfitted KOS-MOS with KO Guard, Speed + 25% (which, in Xenosaga’s battle system, means she’ll be attacking a whole lot more), and “Battle BC+1”, which means she’ll start every battle with an extra boost level. I’ll explain why that’s awesome in a moment.



It seems only right to have Shion on my final team, so she gets the same Battle BC+1, Experience +25% (why not?), and AP+1, which adds an extra AP point every round. That can add up fast to allowing extra attacks.



chaos will be filling my third slot, because I feel like I haven’t used him forever. He’s pretty much the same as Shion, except ST Double means beneficial status boosts will last double the length, which can be great for skills that, say, double attack power for a few rounds.

Additionally, while I didn’t capture it, I spent my spare Ether points trading Ether skills around. For instance, Shion’s multi-heal ether is now on KOS-MOS and chaos, so both can heal everybody at any time, and KOS-MOS has an ether skill that doubles ether power for a few rounds, so chaos yoinked that one to boost his own ether abilities.

Erde Kaiser, of course, remains exclusive to Shion.



Guys, this is the final dungeon of the game, and I’m not suffering through another Cathedral Ship. Since there’s no Bonus Dungeon, there’s no reason not to go all out all over this place.



So here’s what I was talking about. This is the start of the battle, and we’re all speedy enough to go first. And we all have +1 boost. That means that everyone can act, and then, on our slowest character’s turn (chaos, in this case), we can then boost another round of beat downs before the enemy even reacts. Then, by the time that is done, thanks to the +boost slot in the turn rotation, it’s likely that one of the characters is ready to boost again, so we’ve effectively hit the monsters 2.3 times before they’ve started a reprisal. By that time, most enemies are dead or so near death, it doesn’t matter. And that’s before you get to the fact that Shion could easily boost first (regardless of speed), use Erde Kaiser, and call it a day.

Xenosaga, I am taking no more of your shit this day.



Look, it’s finally a multi-hit tech from Shion. Yay!



And here’s a tech chaos “earned” while he was benched. Incidentally, we’re fighting Delphyne gnosis here, and they’re the gnosis that will yield chaos’s best weapon if “morphed”. Just so you know.



All of the enemies on the Proto Merkabah are either the “security system” in the form of annoying mechs, or creepy gnosis that have flooded the place. Our last basic “biological” enemy will have to be the Realian forces back on The Song.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

The first real area of the Proto Merkabah is pretty much a parking garage. It, like everywhere in the PM, is filled with monsters.



There’s what passes for a puzzle in this area with a few switches and bridges that must be properly pressed in order to grant passage through.



After the garage area, we hit this staircase which, while it’s no Shinra HQ, is going to suck up a lot of our time.



The first stop on the staircase is this… hm… looks like a Realian lab. Well, I guess that makes sense, this is where MOMO was activated.



Reminder, we’re in the year 4767, the fact that Xenosaga expects you to immediately know that you’re looking at 300 year old Realian data is kind of odd.



Huh. Wonder what this is all about?



That’s what I just said!



Up the stairs… oh, I hope this stop hides the meaning of life.



Hm. So somebody on Proto Merkabah was dealing with Realians and sick soldiers. Hm.



Yes, what an odd coincidence. Because coincidences happen in the Xenosaga universe.



Shion, wannabe psychologist, can identify mental illness at a distance of 100 yards.



If your reaction to these nuggets of data is “Wow, are they laying pipe for the sequel during the final dungeon?” then congratulations, you’re right! This is why we can’t have nice things!



Also on this floor, we can see a switch just outside the glass. Looks like there’s another entrance to this area through a currently inaccessible other side.



Screw it, next floor!



Oh! The Control Room! Shouldn’t this be the home of the boss? I mean, it seems like you should have some control from the Control Room.



Yep, alright, nothing to do here. Just a lovely little 3-D map that would be nice to be able to use.



And we’re on a staircase that is only going up. Wonderful. At least there’s a save point in this room.



Once again, Floor 43 seems to have an inaccessible other side.



Top floor!



Here’s a new gnosis for the dungeon, the flying Demon. It hits hard, and is resistant to Ice attacks… so why did I bring chaos instead of Junior again?



Tucked into the back corner of Floor 44 is the Dragon Rod, MOMO’s best weapon. Again, MOMO is definitively your mage, so it’s not like this is a game changer.



Alright, Floor 44 connects all the way to the other side! Progress!



MORE STAIRS.



The other side of Floor 43 is pretty uninteresting, but you can activate a switch that connects both sides, so you can re-access that save point. Convenient.



Also, hey, hidden door.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Behind the door is Junior’s best weapon, Blood9. This can make a pretty decent difference in damage output, so Junior gets pretty much the only worthwhile ultimate weapon. Reminder: Shion, KOS-MOS, and Ziggy basically don’t have equipable weapons.



Back to 42 again.



I got 99 problems but this switch ain't one.



Floor 44, that's where I want to be. Rolling through a freshly opened door like a celebrity.



But first we’ll check out the ground (41st) floor. In for a penny…



And there’s like one treasure chest and more Realian read-outs. Lame.



Back up to Floor 44 to get through that newly activated door.



Along the way, there’s a pair of mechs that have severely upped their game over the previously encountered mechs in this dungeon. You can avoid them, but they’re a clear sign that things are getting more difficult in this dungeon.



The past ends on top of a gigantic UMN satellite, and you’re given the choice to jump down. This “would you like to proceed” prompt is the only warning that…



Mini boss out of nowhere!



Proto Dora is the boss du jour, and its flanked by a pair of lesser AGWS. The trick to this fight is…



Oh, screw it. I just summoned Erde Kaiser, and now the extra AGWS are done.



One blast from KOS-MOS, and Proto Dora joins them. I do not like to be ambushed by minibosses well past save points!

Incidentally, the Proto Dora is a clear callback to the Xenogears’ Dora, the long-armed mech that is controlled by that dude that paints a cross on his face. This, like Great Joe and the Xenosaga dude with a cross painted on his face, is clearly just an easter egg… and a weird one, at that. Of all the characters to bring forward (back) in the franchise...



For whatever reason, you’re awarded Door Decoder #6 for your troubles. I think this is the absolute last decoder in the game. I think.



After some sidling along the outside of the Proto Merkabah, the next big room appears to be a planetarium of some sort.



A comprehensive planetarium.



“This Space intentionally left blank.”



chaos decides to throw the lesser beings a bone and note that blank spot is probably the home of Lost Jerusalem.



AKA Earth. You may have heard of it. It’s the planet we named after dirt.



And yes, all you smart guys that are saying “It’s right there!”, “right there” appears to be several hundred million light years, so good luck finding the big blue needle in that haystack.



Anyway, under the planetarium is the Decoder Door that matches the key we just won. It’s got an accessory of some kind that I paid absolutely no mind.



There’s an eastern door in the planetarium…



And it leads back to a previously locked door on Floor 44 or so. If you want, you can now loop back to the Elsa and restock or leave or whatever. This is your last warning.



Proceed through the planetarium’s north exit and you’ll find a new room with some new, aggravating gnosis and… an elevator! Finally! I hope it goes down!



But first, we must enter this big, ominous doorway.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Wow, this place is abandoned, but looks… important.



Oh, wow, we’re standing in MOMO womb. Ew.



First actual cinema scene since we hit the PM. And, aw, MOMO has nice memories of the orbiting death station that is her birthplace.



Okay, remember back when we were in Virtual World? And MOMO (and Ziggy and Junior) crashed into a weird, nega-reality and MOMO saw… something? Well, we get some elaboration on that particular point, as apparently MOMO thinks she saw that Mizrahi summoned the gnosis to get MOMO going.



So MOMO is a little upset that her birth is apparently tangentially related to the death of millions.



Socratic pity.



Shion, though, has something to say on the matter.



THIS IS IMPORTANT. Okay, one, obviously, this cheers MOMO up. But, two, SUBTEXT: this is Shion coming to terms with the prophecy back at the Virtual World. Remember, she saw that KOS-MOS was capable of destroying a planet, and she’s been carrying around that burden ever since. Here, Shion has something kind to say to MOMO, but it’s also her coming to the realization that she, KOS-MOS’s fake mom, cares about her daughter too much to ever consider her a deathbot. In a way, this is a resolution going all the way back to Virgil’s death: Shion is concerned about daughter droid growing up to be a remorseless killing machine, and that’s never going to go away, but it’s here that Shion acknowledges, no matter what happens, KOS-MOS will always be important to her, and she’ll stand by her, no matter what.

Kind of a shame that this cutscene happens “before” the real finale gets going, because a lot of people forget it exists in favor of finally seeing the end of this dungeon. Still, it’s no accident this scene gets the full cinema treatment over the other “text only” interludes in the area. “Here is Earth” didn’t get as much emphasis…



Anyway, now we can take that elevator, and it leads down to THE FINAL SAVE POINT. Bum bum buuuuum.



Even after steamrolling the majority of enemies in this area, we’re now at 26:17. The average Xenosaga Episode 1 “big dungeon” is about two hours… if you know what you’re doing.



And another big elevator!



This elevator contains four or so mandatory battles. Nothing too tough, but we’ve reached that point in the final dungeon where the “general” battles could qualify as minibosses elsewhere in the game.

Incidentally, mandatory battles on an elevator ride that could potentially never end legally makes Xenosaga Episode 1 (like Final Fight 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, Kingdom Hearts, and Chrono Trigger) a beat 'em up.



Bottom floor, everybody off. Note that it’s probably a good (and unintuitive) idea to double back up that elevator and hit the save point again. If you wipe on the final boss, you’ll have to fight those mandatory elevator battles again if you didn’t think to save that you once won… and it’s always a good idea to use a tent.



The final “bridge” contains a number of gnosis, because Xenosaga just does not want you to be “fresh” for the final boss. Luckily, the bridge is wide enough to dodge all the encounters with a little effort.

Final confirmation: there is exactly one save point that is directly in front of a boss in the entire game. Every other save point requires some extra hoofing it to get to the encounter.



Xenosaga Episode 1 isn’t nice enough to give you a “are you sure you’re ready?” prompt, but I suppose this last bridge is all the warning you need.



Screw you, too!



Oh, right, we were working with something like a time limit.



Albedo is doing… something? Going Super Saiyan? I don’t know.



Junior doesn’t know either.



Did… did we just, finally, in the last moments of the game, get a tangential title check?



Ugh, don’t feed us that “perception” garbage Blue Virgil was spouting.



Boooooooss Baaaaaaaattle.



Albedo is…



No, not doing this. Remember how he tore off his own head just to make a point? This battle is inane; I’m summoning Erde Kaiser, and calling it a day.



And Albedo falls over. He’s got an HP-sucking attack like Mintia, but he technically has less HP than his sub-boss, Proto Dora. Then again, I guess Albedo is just a sub-boss himself, given…

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Cutscene continues unabated. Seriously, it’s like that battle didn’t even happen.



Albedo just has to keep on being creepy.



And piling on the backstory.



Here’s a shocker for everybody: Albedo blames Junior for his lousy past.



So remember all that nonsense with the crazy boy URTV army on Old Miltia? Well it turns out that was all Junior’s fault.



He was supposed to be the, I don’t know, Head Boy or something, but he chickened out, and everybody else went nuts save Nigredo (Gaignun) and Albedo. Wait, no, Albedo went nuts.



Yes, Albedo is bringing this all up just to troll Junior.



Here’s a brief flashback of Junior freaking out and pretty much getting all his clone bros killed.



Junior… actually admits he was afraid. Hey, it beats vaporizing everyone in the area in a fit of rage. Progress!



Albedo, meanwhile, just keeps on claiming he’s got a mandate from God and his slain countrymen or whatever.



But I suppose Albedo is happy with being an unkillable crazygonuts.



Yeah, want to fill us in?



“At first I wasn't sure if I should believe… But I experienced something a moment ago that confirmed it… And this ought to verify that experience for me.”

This doesn’t make any more sense in context, but Albedo is eyeing Shion and KOS-MOS when he says that he “experienced something a moment ago”.



This… wasn’t entertaining enough for you, maniac?



And the core of the Proto Merkabah opens to reveal itself…



To be a lot more gnosis-y than expected.



Yes, remember way the hell back on the Woglinde, when it was revealed that a gnosis could fuse with a mechanical object for no apparent reason, and then that skill was never revisited again for the entire game? Well here we go!



Just to be a dick, Albedo fused a gnosis with the core, so rather than just switching the place off, suddenly there has to be a final boss battle.



And Albedo just… leaves. Seriously. No cathartic victory in this game. Albedo is out of here.



“Hello, I’ll be your final battle today.”



Shion has to reassert her main character status after all that Junior nonsense.



Final-final Boss: Sophie Peithos. First of all, for anybody that played Xenogears, this damn thing looks a lot like the space slug that claimed to be god, Deus. Didn’t that wannabe hang out in a reactor, too?



He also hits like a truck. Basically, the “real” way to fight this guy is to call your AGWS… after you’ve spent all the gold in the universe on upgrading them to maximum levels. A lot of people have spent a lot of hours grinding at the end of Xenosaga because Sophie is just that much of an uptick in difficulty for the game. He’s not so bad at the start, but as he loses HP, he starts employing multi-hit attacks that hit for practically all of your HP.



Luckily, Sophie isn’t a “far” enemy… but it does take a second to get over there and give him a whack. It only looks a little ridiculous.



Sophie’s other big ability is summoning other, lesser gnosis (you can just about see a tape worm looking fellow in this shot) that distract the main party, and, of course, attack on their own.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And will self destruct, causing a LOT of damage.



Sophie has, naturally, a lot of HP, so one Erde Kaiser isn’t going to do it (and, no, you can’t summon Erde more than once). That doesn’t mean I didn’t whittle down Sophie so I could just summon Erde and be done with it, though. 9,999 of damage is always welcome, after all.



Sophie goes out like any other gnosis. Oh! Did it on a bonus points turn, too! Note that there is a “results, exp+” screen for Albedo’s battle, but not the finale. Odd choice, given you can’t take a break after Albedo.



And that’s it for gameplay for Xenosaga Episode 1, folks! From here on out it’s just the ending. Thanks for playing!



Samus Aran would already be back on her ship by now.



And the whole place starts shaking around. Hm, what’s that about?



KOS-MOS’s amazing android senses tell her this giant ship just became a giant threat to Second Miltia. Oh, wait, it already was one, but now it’s for a different reason.



Dammit, who steered this thing into the planet?



Right, yes, that dick. Thanks a lot, Albedo! Remind me to think of a doofy nickname for you next game!



Weren’t we concerned about getting caught in an explosion like ten seconds ago? Walk and talk, people!



It’ll be like the Ewok genocide of a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.



KOS-MOS has an oddly specific plan. Okay, yeah, she’s a walking calculator, I guess it’s not like her just call an undefined number of pieces.



Think that was level 43, but whatever, let’s head back there.



LATER, but less than seven minutes later, even though the elevator ride takes forever, and there’s two of ‘em…

“The entire process from system startup to complete detachment takes one whole minute.”



Dammit! Always a catch!



It’s kind of subtle, but I like that the party is only thinking as a party, like one person can’t stay behind. It’s not even considered.



Well, okay, one person considered it.



Shion objects on the basis of duh, and KOS-MOS replies…



That she has a monster run button, she’ll make it back to the ship in time.



Shion still practically has to be dragged away, though.



Mom mode: the final countdown.



Here’s where the ending song (not to be confused with the credits song) cuts in. If you don’t want to listen to the ending song for whatever reason, just mentally play Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” through this segment. It’s basically the same thing.

Also, as you can kinda see from the prior screenshots, your party IS running through the dungeon you just completed, and not some cinema scene random locales. You just spent two hours exploring this place, it’s nice to see the familiar sets.



An exterior shot reveals that the Proto Merkabah has already begun separating into its thousands of pieces. Really convenient that there’s a button in there that does that.



And we’re back to the Elsa.



Time to shove off, Cap’n!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Oh, right, yes.



Junior, speaking for the rest of the party, says we stick around. No exceptions.



Shion hasn’t left the Elsa’s entrance.



And the Elsa isn’t doing so great with everything collapsing around it. I’m disappointed that this isn’t made more clear before the ending, but the Elsa is definitely parked “inside” the Proto Merkabah, it’s not like The Song of Nephilim where the Elsa was hitched to an airlock.



I reiterate that it took us two hours to make it through that dungeon.



Speaking of which, I love this. It’s stupid, but I love seeing the actual dungeon collapsing. It’s like, hey, I know that place! I fought some gnosis there!



Can’t wait any longer, time to go.



Shion, still lingering in the doorway, objects.



Falling on deaf ears, though, and the ship lifts off with Shion still hanging onto the (open) door. Might want to look into that before we get into the vacuum of space.



Sorry, Ms. Vector. Build yourself a new android.



Old Ben Nephilim psychically urges Shion to use the Force.



And she can visualize… KOS-MOS running? Yeah, alright, I could have told you she was doing that.



No, wait, I guess that vision came with some GPS coordinates.



Captain Matthews objects, but Tony cuts into the line and follows Shion’s orders with Allen-like obedience. Come to think of it, this whole scene would probably make more sense if it was Allen that “believes” in Shion, as opposed to Tony, who has barely appeared throughout the game.



Alright, we’re here. Anything?



And KOS-MOS busts through the wall to jump directly toward Shion. KOS-MOS does have X-Ray Map vision and Shion-homing capabilities, so this kinda makes sense.



And Shion grabs KOS-MOS right out of the air.



Except, problem, KOS-MOS weighs a whole hell of a lot more than she looks. Reminder: entirely mechanical android.



But Ziggy! Yay! Tony wasn’t the only one that believed in Shion and friendship or whatever.



Aaaaaaand punchline.



This is where the scene/music ends, with Shion emotively embracing KOS-MOS, and KOS-MOS giving her best expressionless stare. Is she indifferent that she survived, or was she confident that she’d live anyway? Or she’s a robot. It’s one of those.



We had the big “party escape sequence”, and now we’ve got the “danger” music kicking in for the actual flight out.



Elsa clears the Proto Merkabah just in time! Yay!



Whoops! Allen, ever the bearer of bad news, points out that we’re all gonna die.



I’m still going to blame this on that electrical issue Shion missed ten updates back.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

While everyone on the bridge is writing out their wills as the Elsa prepares to crash land through the atmosphere, chaos is chilling below deck, contemplating Nephilim’s question of “What will you do?”



But while chaos contemplates, KOS-MOS is going to do something. I think someone flipped her “self sacrifice” switch somewhere in the PM.



Last time KOS-MOS was talking about pain, we got to meet that tummy laser for the first time.



Speaking of which…



This seems awfully familiar.



Yes, KOS-MOS is jumping under the ship to right it… or… something.



“I mean, seriously, the physics of this situation are absurd!”



Oh, alright. I guess she’s using her KOS-MOS energy shield that has never been seen before this moment to save the ship.



“Seriously! This doesn’t make sense!”



Oh, well, if you only have to experience the searing heat of atmospheric reentry for a little over a minute, that’s just fine.



“I just rescued you like a minute ago! My shoulder is still out of joint!”





Oh, yeah, I guess it is weird we were getting such a good picture of the outside of the ship during… this.



chaos finally makes up his mind… and a lot happens all at once.



Here’s a quick shot of Nephilim hanging out wherever the hell she is.



AND JESUS CHRIST IS THAT FEI?! IS THAT THE PROTAGONIST OF XENOGEARS AS A CHILD!? WITH SOME CRAZY BLOCKS?! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!



Now Wilhelm watching his damn Compass of Fate.



And back to Shion.



Whoops, there goes KOS-MOS’s helmet. Bet this seemed like a better idea a minute and twenty seconds ago.



There’s those baby blues.



The Elsa has a failsafe wherein, if everyone is going to die, the monitors start playing Forest Gump to soothe its passengers into the afterlife.



Oh, no, wait. The Elsa is being cloaked in gigantic angel wings. Guess chaos decided to not watch everyone die.



Aaaaaaaaaand we’re good.



If you’re paying attention, this is actually the first The Brews have actually been planet side, at all, this whole adventure. No, I’m not counting a Virtual Planet or a Gnosis Planet.



“Have I been sober this entire time?”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Yoo-hoo, Second Miltia to Shion?



How many cameras does this ship have?



YAY!



You know any other super-powered heroines that hang out with their fluorescent hair flapping in the breeze on the front of a gigantic ship after guiding the party out of a collapsing final dungeon?



Fun fact: KOS-MOS lost her helmet. This is supposed to contradict that vision of the future where she still has her helmet… and obliterates a planet. The future is different now! Or something! NOBODY BUY KOS-MOS A NEW HAT!



Off into the sunset.



Credits time! Note that this whole series of scenes happens with the credits scrolling by the side. I’ll flip around aspects as subtitles allow.



Remember way the hell back on the Woglinde, when Shion’s brother Jin was talking about visiting their parents’ grave? Well, he finally got there! Neat!



And Shion is kinda-sorta there, too!



Meanwhile, Gaignun and Helmer discuss stuff we already know.



Poor, damned planet.



And Gaignun lets it slip that Albedo is up and around.



Helmer, who is the good guy’s well-informed buddy, is surprised to hear Albedo is still around. Seriously, it still bothers me that everyone immediately correctly knew the assumed dead guy was working with U-TIC.



“He will not die… Not until that time arrives…”

So could we hurry up the timetable on that one?



Albedo is just chilling somewhere in space, commenting that everything is going according to plan, bwa ha ha and whatnot.



And we scoot over to Wilhelm and Red Testament chilling and talking about cryptic nonsense as they usually do.



Religious allusion #1,426, or a direct reference to the character Abel, Fei’s earliest incarnation in Xenogears? You decide.



Albedo is a key now? Sure.



What? Is he going to get more immortal?



“That won't happen. He doesn't have that much power. He's only a key. Of course, we must accept the possibility that he can affect space-time anomalies to some extent… But that's what all of you are for. Still… His will shines with such wondrous light.”

Wilhelm, do you even understand what you’re saying?



No. No giving Albedo a promotion. Bad idea. Baaaaaaad idea.



Back on the Elsa, everyone is kinda generally chatting, while Shion is still staring out the window. Note that Allen’s final contribution is apparently being chastised by Junior.



Hey, who just showed up?



Yay! KOS-MOS is back! She saved everyone, like, twice!



Cast photo!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And Shion turns to face everyone. Welcome back, indeed.



WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED?!



Our final, “complete” save puts us at 27:09. A little under 30 hours.



Unceremoniously back at the title screen. No I do not want to play again.



Actually, come to think of it, I’ve been playing this on the PS3, and I’ve still got my way, way old saves from back when I played Xenosaga Episode 1 the first time backed up to this system, so let’s pop in those memory cards.



Incidentally, those memory cards were/are named after the game cases where I kept the cards initially. I don’t have a PS2 memory card dedicated to only Raw Danger.



There’s the old data. Holy cats, my old Xenosaga Episode 1 Clear File clocks in at 52 hours?



And my party is in the low 50s? Huh.

The game might be over, but I’m not done with talking about Xenosaga Episode 1 quite yet…

Next time on Xenosaga: What the hell happened here?

I kinda hate using this term but in my... headcanon (ugh) Ziggy was just a heartbeat away from offering to stay behind before KOS-MOS beat him to the punch.

At least the producers gave him SOMETHING to do in the ending by contriving a situation where he would be needed in a last minute save. Hooray friendship!


I've said it before, but this has been great, Gogglebob. I even decided to change my avatar to the best third best character in the series (after Professor and Erde Kaiser).

Hardly the most important thing to discuss after all that, but this just stood out to me so much that I couldn't leave it be.

Just to be clear, Chaos (disciple of our Lord and Saviour) just spiked an ice volleyball while wearing swim trunks inside a giant space factory, yes?

Thank you so much for doing this LP GoggleBob. I look forward to every update.

You misspelled it. chaos.

You didn't show off the uber AWGS? It's super awesome.

You mean to imply that an AGWS could in some fashion be "awesome"? I... no... that doesn't make any kind of sense. Like, all the words are there, but they don't make sense together.