Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

Part 2 in an update that started on the previous page



Abel’s Ark isn’t the only planet-destroyer in the area looking for Zarathustra.



When Sellers asks if you want to fight God, you say yes, Dmitri!



Meanwhile, over in ships facing the other direction.



We may have seen Young Pellegi and Young Margulis during the flashback, but it’s been a while since we saw them in the present. Mainly it’s because they’ve just been hanging out defending Michtam this entire time.



Oh man. Could someone with artistic skill sketch out Jesus being crucified, and then, I dunno, somewhere up the sky some giant, fleshy spaceship appears? Never mind, perceiving massive objects in space doesn’t work like that anyway, and I think the crucifixion took place during the day anyway.



DO YOU THINK WE MIGHT WIND UP GOING TO MICHTAM!?



Alright, yes, everyone is going to be at Michtam all at once. That should at least save us a few dungeons.



… I want to go back to not knowing what Zarathustra is…



Oh, and for anyone playing Pied Piper, here’s the confirmation that Abraxas, Ziggy’s home planet, is also known as Michtam. Xenosaga Episode 3 was absolutely not episodic itself, so it’s weird that the script held on to that little tidbit so long to obscure the PP connection.



MICHTAM! WAR! WE GET IT!



Though apparently Ormus Boss Heinlein isn’t into it. Eh, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.



Everybody wants to talk about U-DO, nobody wants to talk to U-DO.



U-DO is having a hard time understanding Shion. You and me both, Buddy.



This goes back to Xenosaga’s earlier mentioned thesis of “humans fear loneliness more than death”. I don’t buy it, because I’m very alone, and I only cry myself to sleep like every other day.



Shion killed that horse, and now she’s beatin’ it but good.



Shion, you have to believe in the Allen that believes in you. Wait, that sounds stupid.



Haha, obsessing over an ex-lover that has reentered your life. Way to be human, Shion.



Hey everybody, it’s Jin, the absolute last person Shion ever wants to see, ever!



Shion and Jin disagree on matters of the Kevin.



“Well, not exactly like mom. It’s hard to find an Asura unit nowadays.”



“Most of the time…”



“Come back with ice cream!”



Jin makes a comment, and KOS-MOS is like “yeah, she really is, isn’t she?”



But Jin elaborates that he’s more mad at himself than his sister. This has been a theme since… about ten minutes after Jin was introduced.



“You’re an emotionless automaton. You should be good at this.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“Shion, there is a 90% chance that if you keep talking about your ex, someone is going to hit you.”



“There is no connection between my current systems and your life functions. Nevertheless, given that those are words from Kevin Winnicot, the system designer, we cannot be certain if they should be ignored. At the present time, I am restricted from taking actions that would jeopardize your life.”

Credit where it’s due: I love when KOS-MOS actually talks like a robot, as opposed to a “fiction robot”. Here is the data we have, we don’t know everything, draw your own conclusions.



“This is the primary reason the one called Allen Ridgeley has survived this long.”



D’aww?



“My second most important directive is to keep my six feet of hair clean and shiny at all times.”



There we go! Shion, you keep seeing what you want to see (even if it turns out to be right).



“That is dumb, Shion. You have said a dumb thing.”



Oh, now you decide to shut-up, KOS-MOS?



Aw, we’re making progress! No matter what happens, Shion, you’ve got KOS-MOS by your side, you don’t have to obsess over…



Dammit.



Oh, and you’ve always got a random ghost girl following you around, too!



Remind me to talk about this statement later! It’s important to that whole “gnosis” thing.



YES! BLESS YOU, XENOSAGA!



Nephilim chooses to ignore that comment, because she’s a polite ghost.



“I want to *thrusts hips in a suggestive manner*”



Because everything so far has been a damn picnic.



“Do you still wish to—“ “KEVIN KEVIN KEVIN!”



Huh. That was more straightforward than usual.



“Here’s what you’re supposed to do next. Abel. Got it? Go, shoo.”



“So Virgil was in love with Feb and that killed him after he exploded twice?”
“Yeah, it was a confusing couple of days.”



Reminder: universe in danger.



Yuriev’s Merkabah is heading to Michtam. U-DO DAMMIT, WE ALREADY KNOW THIS!



Hey, it’s Helmer, skyping in from Second Miltia. Been a while, dude.



Oh yeah, Abel’s Ark gulped up the Zohar during the finale of XS2. Guess we’re back to coveting that holy object.



There’s the suggestion that Yuriev wants the Zohar to win that war he seems to be fighting, but Junior knows better.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Here we are, back to the “slay God” reasoning. Junior, as we know from a few moments ago, is dead on.



“Hey, where’s Gaignun?” “Don’t think about it too hard. Literally, considering you’re telepathy bros.”



Oh, Canaan is here. Hi, Canaan.



Right, war is hell and allegory to holy wars. Now I’m getting it.



Helmer is on one of those planets about to be obliterated, and he’s resigned to his fate.



And, with a sad sign-off, the communication is cut, and it’s presumed that Helmer and all of Second Miltia dies off screen. At least we lost a planet we actually visited this time, though I am still mad about all those sidequests.

… Except, Helmer will pop back in during the ending of XS3 with absolutely no explanation, so don’t mourn too much.



Keep saying it, maybe one day it will be true.



“Are you sure you want me around? Because, you know I might call the Gnosis again, or maybe run off to join the enemy?”

There’s really no way to interpret this as anything but Shion being a jerk. These are your friends, Shion! I know you’re upset that Junior tried to shoot your fiancée, but there’s no need to be petulant.



Shion, you just found out you have a terminal disease like twenty minutes ago!



“There’s other nonsense to worry about! I didn’t level up to lie around in bed all day!”



“We still don’t believe you!”



Whatever, let’s go fight some dudes.



And thus the party… WAIT! Where’s Ziggy?! He was on the bridge, too! YOU FORGOT THE BEST CHARACTER!



Ziggy got back to the Elsa on the cool people only elevator, and everyone ships off to the Merkabah.



Hey! It’s the first freedom to move we’ve had since… I guess before we decided to raid Labyrinthos the first time. Been a long track of railroads, here.



Helmer will be fine. Everyone stop weeping.



For the curious, the “revisit” section of the last update occurs about now in “real time”. You can fly over to the Merkabah at any time after that string of cutscenes, but I think anyone would want to stretch their legs after that little deluge.



Another curiosity, the recap screen for this area confirms that the whole stupid flashback area was thanks to the machinations of Kevin, and not anyone else on Team Bad Guy. It’s kind of implied by the events, but you could maybe convince yourself it was Wilhelm without this corroboration.



Okay, picked up an Erde Kaiser, time to hit the road.



It’s going to be tough weaving into the Merkabah from here, but this ain’t R-Type, so it should be over pretty quick.



Weeeee! It’s cool that the Merkabah looks so much like the Proto Merkabah from the outside.



Yes, it’s a chaotic time for everybody.



The ESes disembark the Elsa, and zoom on in to the Tactical Warship Merkabah.



Hey! A dungeon! Remember those! Fun fact: this dungeon sucks.



First off, all the monsters of this area are boring mechs or generic soldiers. There is nothing interesting tactically or graphically about these battles.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

The opening area of this dungeon is a big, wide room with a few treasure chests. Absolutely grab the EX Skill Key II, which will unlock additional available skills for all characters. It’s not completely essential, but it’s always convenient to have a few extra “heal all” spells available.



Welcome to Hell!



We’ve got our initial goal for the area.



I want to say that every dungeon in the franchise up to this point has been carefully segmented into ES and on-foot portions. Yes, there was occasionally switching between human and vehicle mode, but, by and large, you could plainly see the “this is the ES helping” versus “now we’re on foot”. In fact, nearly every ES dungeon has been ES -> ES Boss -> Walk -> Walkin’ Boss. Merkabah here is a dungeon where you’ll be constantly switching between the two modes, and it will absolutely prove why that’s terrible.



As an easy opening example, the minute you disembark at this dock, there’s a locked door, so back to the mechs.



Toward the back of the room, there’s a door.



And it leads to a conveyer belt that bars your progress. Never mind the fact that the ESes can fly, and the ES Dinah in this very screenshot is currently hovering.



Let’s try Door #2.



Yes, let’s get this over with.



This room is a series of one-way conveyer belts, and each stop hides a different prize.



You want Stop #3 to ride a whole new conveyer belt heading up.



“Fifth” floor, nonstop fun ahead.



In the center of this area is a switch that will turn on the elevator we were just told was unusable. Progress.



And now we have to use that elevator to move forward.



Back down the conveyer belts. We wind up using that one belt from earlier in its proper direction.



And we’re ready for some elevator action.



Okay, remember that spinny bit from the opening of this room? We’re inside that now, and we have to disable the locks at the north and south ends of what amounts to a giant, boring hallway.



So boring.



Yuriev soldiers are all over the place, and they’re exactly as difficult as pressing the Circle button.



There are four locks per side of this hallway area, and guess what you’re supposed to do.



Blammo.



Here’s Junior reprising his Storm Waltz from XS1 for his Level 2 Special Attack.



You’re exploring a giant centrifuge for this area, so, when you’re at either end, gravity is a little wonky. I suppose this counts as the gimmick of the dungeon.



There’s also a friendly soldier hiding in some corner. He’s here to tell you to come back later for treasure. We’re not going to do that.



Oh, there’s a decoder hiding around, too.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

North side, time to blow up more stuff.



There’s a door right here, but we have to hop back into the ESes, go back to the fifth floor, flip a switch, and then come back.



Back through the giant hallway, down the elevator…



Back to the same stupid switch we used earlier.



There we go. Now the rotate-y bit stops, and we can go through that door.



Oh, and an elevator activated so we don’t have to play with the conveyer belts again. Why didn’t this happen the first time?



Go downstairs, disembark ESes, ride the elevator, back to the hallway…



There, now we can use the door on the north side. Incidentally, since the room is no longer spinning, the gravity is back to normal.



OH GOOD MORE STUFF!



As you can sorta see on that display, this area is kind of a giant honeycomb of rooms.



And a door just opened up back in the ES section of the dungeon. Next stop.



So the honeycomb area is a series of rooms that appear to be designed to confuse.



We can’t do what we’re supposed to do here yet, but we can loot the place.



There’s a decoder, and a separate decoder door hiding in this maze-ish area.



The door hides a Sweet Pain, a necklace that increases your boost gauge. Since the boost gauge is shared among party members, it’s a good idea to stick that one on someone that is constantly in your party.



But for now, it’s time to leave the honeycomb, go down the hallway, take the elevator, and reboard the ESes.



Here is that area on the fifth floor that opened up earlier.



And it’s a stupid collection of floors connected by one-way elevators. Ugh.



Get through that, and you’ll find the room that is generating those forcefields upstairs.



Blast ‘em good!



And beyond the room is…



Dammit! Fun fact: we won’t actually ever make it through this door. Well, at least I won’t. I’ll talk about it later.



Back up the other side of the stupid elevator room…



Back to the main elevator…



And a short jog back to the honeycomb room.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Now that the forcefields are down, you must eliminate every generator in every room. Every. Single. One. If you miss one, welp, good luck figuring out which room you missed.



After that deed is done, we can hop on this really pretty bridge and move forward.



And we found… Sellers?



Fun fact: nobody in the party has met Sellers. We kinda saw him from a distance during the past segment, but I guess Jin knows him from back in the day when he used to date Margulis Pellegri.



Sellers: Mercenary Mad Scientist.



“I know you are, but what am I?”



Sellers was playing it cool for a minute there, but then he starts whining about how he’ll never be Joachim Mizrahi: greatest scientist ever. Despite the obvious opening, MOMO doesn’t say a word.



Yes, let’s finish this update before we’re all dead.



Sellers retorts with “Ya know, you really should know this one.”



There we go: Junior finally learns that Yuriev has been possessing Gaignun all this time. I guess Junior didn’t feel like using that ol’ psychic link at any point in the last year.



And Sellers additionally blabs about Gaignun and Citrine being designed to kill Junior.



“And Gaignun was designed to be Yuriev’s new body. Are you writing this down?”



This… where the hell did this come from? There have been like a combined five minutes in this entire plot dedicated to the UMN teleportation experiments (specifically mentioned during the opening of XS2), and now we’re supposed to know the significance of “the original Salvator”? For anyone that doesn’t religiously read the in-game wiki for Xenosaga, the “big reveal” here is that Yuriev is the original 1% that survived UMN teleportation experiments a few hundred years ago. The characters understand the significance of this plot point, but I’m not sure the player has a chance.



And, yes, as we already sorta know, that means Yuriev directly encountered U-DO, which caused him to have a feargasm, and he’s been trying to commit deicide ever since.




And he picked up the useful ability to “teleport” his consciousness into other bodies. Depending on how you interpret fictional teleportation, this makes a certain kind of sense. If a body is destroyed on one end, and then reassembled as a “new” life form on the other, then that’s a short trip to “consciousness can hop around other bodies”. There… was probably a Star Trek episode about that.



And, yes, to slay God, he’s going to need those Zohar Emulators that Junior conveniently collected during XS1.



Hey, some explanation on the Zohar Emulators! They’re connected to the Anima Relics! And… that’s it.



We’re on the wrong ship!



Also, Sellers has the insanity of a manatee.



We’re not even going to get a cathartic boss fight out of this!?



And Sellers leaves. Forever. Seriously, he just flies off in his hoverchair, and he’s never seen again. This is important, and will be covered later, but for now, just know that the smartest guy in the series decided to maybe not fight the heroes that have a tendency to seriously maim their enemies.

So, a couple of things.

This dungeon sucked, but the entire point of the dungeon is that it’s a distraction while Yuriev moves in to commit to his real plan. If I’m being generous, this is kind of amazing, because this dungeon always feels like a stupid waste of time (go there, go there, now go back there, now go back to the other place), and, surprise, it’s literally designed by the villain to be exactly that. Clever! On the other hand, this dungeon is unmistakably the worst in the game (though certainly not in the series), so, even if it’s supposed to be terrible, that doesn’t make it any actual fun to play.

And, two, for the curious, you may reenter this dungeon and finally enter that one stupid door in the middle and get some treasure. I… didn’t bother, because I hate this dungeon, and never want to see it again.



And The Brews rush back to the Durandal, desperate to curtail Yuriev’s plans. Let’s find out how that works out next update.

Next time on Xenosaga: Maybe we’ll get lucky with Door #4,271.

But how will this LP ever be complete without us knowing what you could get?!

I went back, and behind the double doors was... let's say... Moe. Mystery solved!

Previously on Xenosaga: Turns out the worst dungeon in the game was a deliberate, time-wasting trap created by Yuriev. This… doesn’t excuse every other terrible time sink of a dungeon in the franchise, but, hey, it’s nice someone noticed.



Where were we? Oh yes, Yuriev has his eyes on invading the Durandal and stealing the Zohar Emulators. I don’t see why anyone is worried, Mary and Shelley are at the helm, and they… uh… have… nice… teeth?



Here’s Omega, swooping into the Durandal to ruin everyone’s day.



Federation Forces invade the ship with aplomb.



And rifles.



Oh, here’s another bit of censorship. It’s not really “important” to the story (like Shion’s fun times), but this guy straight up blows this lady’s brains out in the Japanese version, and we only get a fade to black stateside. This will be the last big edit until the finale, to my knowledge.



And the man himself is making his way to the bridge.



Durandal! Turtle up!



“Now known as the ‘corpse areas’.”



Gawrsh, how did Yuriev get the command codes?



Ya know, even if you had no idea that Yuriev could take over his sons’ bodies, it still might not have been the best idea to give unique codes to a pair of dudes that share telepathic open wi-fi with Albedo.



Gasp!



Here he is now.



Such a great guy…



Who then shoots Mary square in the gut. Yes, it’s off-camera in both versions.



Juli? You’re still here?



Gasp! Yuriev has taken over Gaignun’s body!



The audience has only known this for two whole games.



…. Just in case you forgot their names…



Gaignuns are comfy and easy to wear.



If anyone cares about the politics of Xenosaga, yes, this is basically a federal government forcibly invading an ally state. No, this will not actually impact anything in the XS universe.



Remember when Mary and Shelley were introduced, and it was revealed that they both have the mutant ability to directly interact with computer data? And remember how it was never mentioned again? Well, turns out they have the unlock codes for the Zohar Emulators downloaded into their noggins. Yuriev discovered this through being a wizard or something.



Despite the fact that Mary is nursing a gaping stomach wound, she’s not cooperating with her captor.



And Canaan to the rescue! … Or not.



Yuriev reminds everyone that he also effectively has Gaignun hostage, because, ya know, same body.



And Citrine introduces herself.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Yuriev brags that Citrine has the same powers as Nigredo. Nigredo… whom we have never seen in a combat situation (without a machine gun). I guess she has the ability to remotely explode Albedo’s arm?



And the scene ends with the typical villainous “we’ll make you talk” malarkey that hasn’t paid off in this game yet.



Junior, you are not going to like the answer.



“Keeps going to voicemail. Did you know that Mary blabs on that message for like three minutes?”



“Not like we have anywhere else to go.”



So you’ve got a respite here for diving back into old dungeons or checking the shops (that haven’t updated yet). Feel free to take your time, Mary is only bleeding out on the bridge.



Ziggy punches them?



Second update in a row where we get a brief intermission of the Elsa zooming about a warzone.



Omega decides to join in this time.



Omega is protecting the bridge, so we’re going to have to park exactly where we park every time we visit the Durandal.



This would mean more if Junior wasn’t totally loaded.



But rip out the walls we do.



I guess because Yuriev only employs absolute monsters, pretty much everyone on the Durandal is dead.



Real talk: after nearly three full games of the Durandal being a sort of home base (and solving half the ship’s population’s problems during XS2), it is appropriately shocking to find that everyone is dead. We didn’t lose any “real” characters, but it’s still disturbing.



“This is my angry character portrait.” (No it isn’t.)



Durandal exploring time!



As you might be able to recognize, the dock area is exactly the same as it’s been since XS1. We haven’t been on this ship in anything but cutscenes since XS3 began, but most of the ship will be familiar to Xenosaga veterans (we’ve… seen things).



In grand JRPG tradition, extraneous rooms have been damaged, and are inaccessible.



We’ve still got the Durandal Monorail to ferry us along.



The Isolation Area is our ultimate goal, but we’re not going anywhere until we rescue our support staff.



So let’s go to the park! As you can see, most Durandal areas are still infested with Federation Soldiers.



These battles are pretty similar to Merkabah encounters. Maybe they’re exactly the same? They’re just that memorable.



The park was home to a few important scenes in XS1 and XS2, so it’s nice that someone bothered to include it in the final game.



It’s also nice that someone stuck a golden door in the holographic flora.



We don’t have the key for this door yet, and, fun fact, it is literally impossible to have the decoder at this point. I’ll explain why later.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

With nothing else to do, it’s time to hit the Residential Area. There’s a savepoint right there, so let’s get a time check. 13:43, for anyone that doesn’t feel like reading the screenshot.



This Residential Area is different from the similarly named area from XS1, so hooray for new things.



So far, so hallway.



The main area of the Residential Area is basically a maze of rooms. Currently, they’re all locked…



But if we do a little exploring…



There’s a switch!



But it’s all the way over there! Time for more walking.



There’s a fun glitch in this area that involves enemy soldiers and their complete inability to properly use doors. Use traps that penetrate walls to your advantage.



And while we’re revengencing some soldiers, let’s use KOS-MOS’s Level 2 Special Attack, X-Buster. Yes, that’s only her Level 2, so, after two games, we’ll finally gain a KOS-MOS attack more powerful than the tummy laser.



For old time’s sake, let’s blast random bits of the Durandal for items.



After enough walking to hatch a 10K egg, we find a switch… that only opens one “shortcut” door. Better than nothing.



Here we go, the main door lock for the area. Uh… this doesn’t seem terribly safe. Couldn’t one of the bad guys have just pressed this big, glowing switch? No matter.



Now all of the doors are open. This will prove to be a curse.



First of all, for some asinine reason, we now have to press the door switch on every door. Seems like we could have skipped a step here, guys.



Second, there are a LOT of rooms in this area. And what’s in most of them? NOOOOOOTHING.



But sometimes there’s a treasure, so you check every damn room, because you have OCD.



And sometimes the rooms just contain monsters. Oh my U-DO, I’m playing Final Fantasy 2!



There are some just plain ol’ deadends in this area, too. It’s really designed to confuse. Like most dorms.



Back to this area where we first saw the switch. The center door here is the first of our goals.



There’s a soldier encounter at the door…



But past that loser are Shelley and Canaan. Yay!



Princess Mary is in another castle.



“Get back to the Elsa. Tony has got a stew goin’.”



Canaan can actually fight! It kinda makes sense that he’ll be able to successfully escort Shelley back to the Elsa through the waves of soldiers. Yay!



This completely nondescript door a few hallways over is hiding Mary.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

One meaningless soldier battle later, and we’ve got Juli, Mary, and that dog Junior picked up during the ending of XS2. Remember him? Someone finally did.



Do Realians have awkward teen years where they stop being affectionate to their parents? Hm.



MOMO: professional white mage.



Obviously, Mary let (“let”) Yuriev have the access code, but Junior is just happy she’s (mostly) alright.



“Could you give us directions to get out of this stupid Residential Area? Nah, I guess we can find our own way.”



So a scientist, a wounded mutant, and Alby the Dog are all going to successfully sneak through the halls of the Durandal and make it back to the Elsa? Sure.



We went there first, and you know it!



After traipsing back through the dorms, it would make the most sense to hit the Isolation Area…



But let’s stop at the Bridge first to pick up an Update File next to a corpse.



That’s done, now we can hopefully save those Zohar Emulators.



But first, Yuriev’s guard dog.



“Hey, haven’t seen you since we were kids, whatcha been up to?”



Aw, that’s sweet.



But it turns sour fast.



“You still care about your job? Ha, loser.”



“Man, I was just taking some time off to find myself! And maybe kill my brother…”



Yeah, this “my last comrade” talk really degraded quickly.



Great, you can knock off a guy who has stats barely surpassing Allen.



Citrine boss fight! Citrine is really fond of status effects, like how she started the battle here by sealing all of our Ether abilities. Luckily, every ailment in XS3 is just a Refresh item away from not making an impact.



Citrine is weak to beam, and strong against fire. I guess someone took that “Red Dragon” thing literally.



Like her brother, she attacks with a gun. She also uses a shock stick. Neither attack is particularly strong. Guess this is why Gaignun was never a party member.



Junior will participate in some battle banter. But that’s just a prelude for…



Red Dragon Killer Mode!



Citrine will use one attack that sets everyone’s HP to 666, and then her next attack will deal exactly 666 HP damage. Mark of the Beast is really getting a workout this update. Regardless, it’s a simple matter to use a heal-all spell/item to avoid death. Boost if you have to, but you have to restore a whole 1 HP to survive.



Junior gets the final blow with a special attack.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Sadly, she does seem to have the best URTV relationship with her dad. I mean, Gaignun did kill the guy at least once…



Our mandatory reward for the battle is the Weapon Development Area Key. This key will unlock a door back at the CAT Testing Grounds (remember that dungeon?). Behind that door is the super secret most powerful ES boss in the game. Approaching that door now would be suicide, but it might be doable in an update or two. Once you beat that boss, you’ll obtain the decoder key for that golden door we found earlier. So now is the earliest you would ever be able to open that door. Technically. Or at least after the next few cutscenes end.



Citrine gets a little introspective after we beat her to death.



Wow, Junior, way to hang all your character development on a promise you made when you were like twelve.



Sakura casts a long shadow.



And that’s it for Citrine. There was probably some potential in the “URTV Sister”, but she just wound up being Yuriev’s secretary/bodyguard. Guess Lex Luthor has to have a little Mercy.



But no time to think about that now.



“I bet he’s illegally playing Little Samson right now!”



Yuriev is on the other side of the door, and he taunts Junior for caring about killing a sister.



“So don’t worry about it.”



Wonder if Yuriev realizes he mind jumped into his last remaining son that isn’t immortal.



Okay?



Well, yes, that is kind of amazing. But I don’t see what it has to do with this situation.



Oh, right, Yuriev still wants to kill God. Welcome to being a JRPG villain, Yuriev.



Sure, just ask nicely. That’s gonna work.



“Is that you, Rubedo? It's been a long time, hasn't it? I must say, I've missed you.”

… Really surprised Yuriev doesn’t get in a “oh, Rubedo, you haven’t changed a bit” jab.



Junior is not happy to see daddy.



“Don’t blame me, blame yourself or U-DO.”



Junior guesses this is all just a big stupid plan to slay God.



And Yuriev… apparently has other plans.



“And He turned people to salt only rarely.”



“People loved God, revered and even feared God. Out of fear of the undying God, they sought divine power. This was a way for the ancients to resist Him. Eventually, they found a method to become gods themselves.”

… Wait. What?



“We have revived their relics: the Merkabah and the Zohar emulators, as well as Mizrahi's Y Data, which holds the records left behind by the ancients.”

Seriously? Now we’re going to delve into “the ancients knew everything”? 4,000 years in the future, but our big damn future technology is all based on, what, Bible tech? Really?





CONTINUED NEXT POST

And Yuriev shoots out the control console while he rants. Dude can multitask.



“I mean ‘great’ as in ‘good’. Our family’s genealogy is mixed up enough now that I’m my own son.”



Yuriev makes his exit (and I guess escapes because he’s got a gun? Man, we were shot like six times in the previous battle alone), and The Brews attempt to pick up the pieces.



But that’s not happening.



And the Durandal is picking up steam.



Oh no! The ship named after a holy sword is going to be used to pierce the hide of God!



Our only hope is to flee back to the Elsa and get the hell out of here. Huh. That sounds familiar.



And… we’re stuck. Welp, it’s been a fun trip, time to go down with the ship.



How ever will we be able to dislodge the Elsa from the Durandal?



Oh, right, we’ll do the exact same thing as back on the Proto Merkabah.



KOS-MOS and chaos: Immortals for Hire successfully free the Elsa.



And then book it back on to the ship. Uh… that was some entirely pointless drama.



Away we go!



Just in time, naturally.



So the Durandal, which houses the unshielded Zohar Emulators, smacks right into Abel’s Ark. Then things get… glowy.



Good news! Found the original Zohar!



Yuriev and Omega are just taking it all in.



Uh… okay?



The Zohar Emulators all resonate or whatever the proper verb would be…



Omega ejects the Sellers-designed Zohar Emulator and absorbs the real Zohar…



Abel, Omega pilot, gives us a confused look to remind us he still exists.



And Omega and Abel’s Ark both digivolve. We’ll discuss Omega’s final form next update, but Abel’s Ark turns into just blatantly a cross.



I want Allen’s opinion on all this!



Bah, just the usual knuckleheads telling us how this thing is more powerful than we could ever imagine.



chaos just snickers to himself…

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Meanwhile over in the official Wilhelm Space Pyramid…



These are words that mean things, I’m sure.



Wilhelm apparently isn’t worried, because Yuriev and/or Sellers are idiots.



“I’m immortal, I’ve seen this kind of thing a thousand times. Wanna go out for a mint?”



Oh good, Albedo will be back next update.



“Gotta kill time somehow. Then we’ll literally kill time.”



“Wait, I got a call coming in. Margulis? Ugh, you’re still alive?”



“I wanna be the big villain for the franchise! Please?”



“Your place is sub-boss material at best.”



“Sit! Stay.”



Margulis and Pellegri are bored, dammit.



At least somebody around here knows he’s just a cog in a stupidly complicated space machine.



Back to the good guys, who are trying to figure out a way to infiltrate a gargantuan, fleshy cross.



But Doctus of Scientia skypes in to save the day. Yeesh, when was the last time we saw this cyborg?



Junior reminds us that most of the party hasn’t even met Doctus.



Nobody was getting anything done, so Canaan called his girlfriend.



Doctus figured out a solution inside of ten seconds.



Oh, right, that telepathy that Junior constantly forgets he has.



She still can’t remember Canaan’s name…. not that I blame her.



Well, that was a harrowing ten seconds of not knowing how we’d reach the next dungeon.



So, like the last couple times, we’ve got a little break time before we have to head to the next area. Shelley is here on the bridge, and we better go see how Mary is doing. I hope she’s not hurt or…



Oh, she’s completely fine. Huh.

Eh, let’s call this the end of these two.



Mary and Shelley are the Patron Saints of NPCs in the Xenosaga Universe. Here we have a pair of characters that seemed to accumulate more character “hooks” at they went along, such as:

� They’re mutants
� They’re expert hackers
� They grew up on Old Miltia (like Shion)
� They’re sisters (a perfect contrast to the URTV brothers)
� Prominent politician Helmer thinks of them as daughters
� It is strongly implied they have a polygamous (and vaguely incestuous) relationship with Gaignun
� They’re apparently human containers for protected data

And practically nothing is ever done with these hooks. As we just saw, the “Mary and Shelley have the codes inside them” thing was introduced and quickly solved when Yuriev got the codes out of them… offscreen. The Gaignun relationship pays off with Yuriev-in-Gaignun’s betrayal… but all we saw of that relationship was some random, Tenchi-esque affection from the gals. And if there is anything done with the “familial” relationships past “oh, these characters know each other”, I missed it. Basically, we’re looking at a pair of characters with a lot of potential, but no payoff.

Of course, they are literally the support staff for the main heroes. MOMO barely gets any development during this game, so what hope did Mary & Shelley have? We’ve got a giant, sprawling story as-is, so devoting time to two characters that are probably best known for outrageous accents isn’t the best idea. It’s completely understandable that Xenosaga didn’t wholly develop these two.

But, like the whole Xenosaga mutant concept, there was a lot of potential there, and, for all the interesting ideas introduced, nothing is ever accomplished. It’s telling that Mary’s wound is played as something potentially fatal… and then it’s resolved as “Oh, I’m fine” in an offhand scene ten minutes later.

Mary & Shelley, you were a secret we wished to divine, but never will.



Oh, and the shop updated. Get those new weapons while they’re hot!



Alright, it’s 14:28, and I’m calling it for right now. We’ll pick up next time with a trip into the smooshy halls of Abel’s Ark.

Next time on Xenosaga: Musical chairs.

Citrine just kind of... shows up to die doesn't she? The brief glimpse we had of her in Episode II made me think she would have a bigger role in Episode III, but she's in like one or two cutscenes and dies after being a mid-boss.

Kind of a sad fate to have less overall significance to the series than Allen.

Okay, just caught up. It's funny that despite having played this game again within the last few months, a lot of this stuff still washes over me.

I think a lot of it is because it's determined very quickly that most of the characters don't matter. Margulis and friends might as well be in a completely different game/series at this point. Wilhelm is still a profoundly boring god character that we know essentially nothing about after three games, so the fact the series is still making us listen to his nonsensical dumb ramblings about nothing is the worst.

I will say that if there's one positive merit to XS3's character development, it's that it officially marks Shion as the universe's biggest dumb loser ever. This unrelatable, whining, self-centered jerkface of a person summoned the Gnosis and now, upon realizing this, now has every right to feel like the grandest failure.

Additionally, I will say that I abused the turbo function on PCSX2 during Merkabah. Because holy hell those long hallways.

Before I start this update in earnest, I just want to say a quick word.

Due to... everything that happened this week, I really did not feel like talking about a decade old videogame. I'm sure I'm not alone in this feeling, but I kind of just wanted to lay down in my giant beanbag chair and not leave it for a solid four years or so. Everything is just feels so... numb right now, it's hard to be psyched about anything, left alone a random project about a videogame.

And it probably doesn't make it better that I was dicing up the screenshots for this update while following election coverage, so I'm probably going to remember this particular update for the rest of my life, for better or worse.

That said, after seriously considering taking "a mental health week" off from this LP and my various superfluous gaming ventures, I decided to change nothing about my usual "schedule". A lot of people are hurting right now, and some people enjoy this LP. Why should I deprive the rest of the world (and the six people reading this) of enjoyment when such a thing is needed most? So, you know what? Let's do this thing, and make the world a little better, even if it's just through soundly mocking random cloneboys.

And, honestly, I did wind up finding the experience of not thinking about every other stupid thing in this country and focusing on a decade old videogame to be surprisingly therapeutic, so at least this worked out.

So, if there's a point in that somewhere, it's that leaving the beanbag once in a while probably is a good idea, and we'll deal with the big problems as they come.

The show must go on...

Previously on Xenosaga: Yuriev played The Brews again, and the Durandal and nearly everyone on it was destroyed in an attempt to infiltrate Abel’s Ark, a gigantic gnosis that is the current home of The Zohar. Yuriev grabbed that Zohar and began to ascend to godhood, and Junior and pals got… I think they rescued a dog at some point?



Here we are, Bridge of the Elsa, same as it ever was. After everything that happened last time, we once again have a moment to breathe before heading into the latest danger zone. Breathing is overrated, let’s get out of here.



Upon starting this mission, a brief scene between chaos and Canaan plays. I guess we have to get into some character development for other characters, and we’re doing it alphabetically (Allen is, naturally, skipped).



Canaan is having an existential crisis, so why not talk to a buddy. Fun fact: Canaan and chaos have known each other for fifteen years… but I think this is the first they’re talking one-on-one in the present.



I can never tell if Canaan is supposed to be stoic or mopey, but I guess this clinches it. Canaan is a sad Realian.



And it turns out Canaan is starting to remember Pied Piper and being a tool for the last century or so. Guess Doctus unearthed some unhappy memories while we were playing around in the past.



Yes Lactis from Pied Piper was somehow Canaan all along. Or I guess Canaan was Lactis? This is a big revelation for the six people that played Pied Piper. For everybody else, this is basically just place setting for what happens in another couple of updates.



Yes, Canaan sad. Moving on.



So here’s our fun reverse character development. This scene is clearly about Canaan coming to terms with being inadvertently a tool, but chaos’s recommendation of “you could just hide yourself” is actually exactly what chaos himself has been doing for 6,000 years. This is a clever bit of foreshadowing that reveals a lot about chaos (once you completely understand his origins… give it a few updates). In short, chaos has been living in denial of “Yeshua” for a few millennia, and doesn’t see a problem with that. He recommends it.



That would be Wilhelm, and this would be yet another indicator that he’s in opposition to chaos.



D’aw?



Alright, cut it out, Squall, it’s time to fly over to Abel’s Ark now.



I wonder if this is going to work!?



Yep, it did. Has any wild space adventure ever ended with the heroes just teleporting into a wall?



There are a few gnosis abound.



And the inside of Abel’s Ark is… gross. I’m assuming we’re going for a Fantastic Voyage/inside the body motif, as this is a gnosis that is the size of a solar system, and we’re… not.



So the Elsa is just going to park here and wait for you guys, defenseless, while you roll out the giant robots and kill the oversized gnosis around here. If ever there was a good excuse for “you must leave one party member behind”…



And it’s weird that we had that “break” back before zooming in here, as, again, we can just chill on the Elsa and repeat old dungeons at will until we actually leave the ship.



So let’s go! 14:35 on the clock, for anyone that is curious.



Like a lot of “weird” dungeons in JRPGs, the geography of this area is impossible, and navigation is accomplished by using diamond teleporters.



The half of this dungeon is comprised of a pile of floating platforms. We’re at the top, and we’ve got to get to the bottom.



This area quickly becomes, effectively, a teleporter maze, Final Fantasy Temple of Ordeals style. Has that ever been fun?



Naturally, gnosis style monsters are all over the place.



The random battles in this dungeon have a tendency to take forever, as the enemy bands generally contain five or six members, and usually half the gnosis resist the elements that affect the other half of the gnosis. ES attacks are generally fire, physical, or beam based, and, as you can see from this shot, this creature is resistant to two out of three of those elements. That said, even though the battles are a pain, I feel like it’s “earned”, as everything about this dungeon screams “final area”.



Teleporter maze still sucks, though.



Usually there are two teleporters; one leads forward, the other to a dead end, but with treasure. Since the monsters don’t respawn, it’s not as bad as it could be, just… annoying.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

As ever, your ESes live or die (literally) by their equipment, so the upgrades that can be found in this area and throughout the dungeon are likely worth the detours.



Oh, here’s a big damn flaw in the XS3 system: a back attack means that every enemy gets to move first. This happened with four monsters, and they all used their all-party attacks. By the time I finally got a turn, I had maybe a quarter max HP remaining. There are also six-monster mobs in this area. Do not want to see a back attack from those guys…



Moving along.



There’s a five-er group. Note from the turn order that, should I not knock a few down with Jin and MOMO, I’m going to have to wait through four full attacks before my next turn. Ouch.



Hey, EX Skill Key III. That should come in handy for unlocking useful battle skills… outside the ES.



Incidentally, it’s around now that, if you’ve been sticking to the main branches, you should be unlocking the big “final skills” for at least one skill line. These skills are generally useful but situational. For instance, Shion receives a skill like Bravely Default’s Ukemi: she can 100% dodge one attack. That’s great for boss monsters with insane super attacks, but pretty damn useless in most random battles.



The near-bottom of this area gives us a clear view of the Durandal, now split completely in half. Poor ol’ ship deserved better than that.



Still some more teleporting to go, though.



Oh, it’s immobilized? Gawrsh, what gave you that idea?



The last piece of the first half of this dungeon is one stupidly long hallway filled with enemies. At least you can dodge the encounters if you’re generally evasive.



Last stop. Looks like we’ll be teleporting into the remains of the Durandal.



Anybody here make it to the final boss of Xenogears? Well, if you didn’t, here’s what it looked like.



We’re going through hell here for “pretty sure”.



There were twelve Zohar emulators, so three Zohars per sphere rotating around the real Zohar in the center.



“Why is this place so weird?” “I dunno, Zohar.”



So, as you might be able to guess, we have to “beat” each of the spheres to unlock the Zohar area in the middle. Videogames, duh.



There is a shop and savepoint here, though, so at least you don’t have to go back through the first part of the dungeon to refuel.



As you saw in the gif, the spheres rotate, and you can tackle them in any order. Just fly up to the middle area there (finally! Someone remembered these ESes can fly!) and wait for a sphere to rotate into approachability.



We’re going to start with Magenta Sphere, because it rotated in first.



At first, Magenta appears to be a reverse of the previous area: use teleporters to ascend a few platforms.



But you’ve got a multicolored pile of choices on the second floor.



Each of the four teleporters lead to a different, separated series of platforms in another area.



And you need to access some areas to push over platforms to proceed in other areas. Joy!



It’s a simple matter to shove a bridge over, but you still have to use practically every teleporter twice to get your bearings on what needs to be done.



A lot of the time, you’re just looking at dead ends and a need to return and try again. And, yes, there are of course enemies in this area.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

But treasure, too! Again, it’s worth it to “waste time” and get all the treasures through thoroughly exploring each teleportation branch.



Even an Update File hiding in there.



And after the first area, there’s a second floor of this madness! Yay!



The second floor isn’t as overtly terrible as the first.



Basically, you’ve got to push these platforms into place in the proper order to form one big bridge.



But let’s take a brief break from puzzling to note another weird tick in the XS3 battle system. You can only target five monsters at a time. This means that a sixth monster is pretty much always invincible. That’s a peculiar quirk of programming, XS3.



Back to the puzzle: it’s just more trial and error, because, happily, a platform will not get stuck if you push it at the wrong time in the sequence.



Here is the completed bridge. Now we just have to remember which color teleporter gets us over to that platform!



Finally, we’re at the top of this silly area.



We’ve got a savepoint and three Zohar Emulators. I guess we just blow ‘em up?



What’s that?



Ah! Giant robot out of nowhere!



Oh, I’m sorry, it’s a giant gnosis that looks like a giant robot. My bad.



Still have to fight it, though. Natus Flamma is red, named “Flamma”, and comes from a big, red ball, so it is naturally strong against fire attacks. Other than that, not much to see here.



Though it is pretty strong, and prone to counterattacks.



It also will inflict the ESes with “Mine” status, which is effectively the same as the “gnosis touch” status effect that turns a hero to (dead) salt in three turns. Probably a good idea to heal that kind of thing.



Flamma has some multihit attacks that are pretty powerful, too.



But eventually it goes down, and simply fades away. I suppose now would be a good time to note that Natus Flamma bears a striking resemblance to Andvari, Bart’s Omnigear in Xenogears.



And, upon Flamma’s defeat, the Zohars in the area shatter.



MOMO feels nothing for the death of her father’s life’s work.



And… time to go. One sphere down!



As you can see, the Magenta Sphere is now dim, so at least it’s easy to remember where we’ve been.



Dark Blue next!



Hey! We’re out of the ESes! What happened? Eh, nothing to worry about, because this room is fun.



Try not to get sick or fall off this teetering floor.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

There is treasure to find, and it is a pain in the ass to obtain. Guess the “you’re next to a treasure chest” detector doesn’t do well with this floor.



Fun floor over, next area is one of those “the floor appears as you walk” areas. You can’t “fall off” or anything here, it’s just difficult to know which way to go next.



And there are monsters, of course.



These gnosis are recycled from the final hidden areas of XS2. Since a lot of people didn’t play through those areas, these gnosis are probably new to most players.



Moving on.



One more “hidden floor” room. The previous path was pretty much a straight line, but this area does have some branches (and hiding treasure/Red Segment Door). If you’re in a hurry, head for the teleporter, but you may wish to take some time to explore and press up against every invisible “wall” for goodies.



Dark Blue is almost done.



This is about what I’d expect. Hey, we’re back in the ESes.



Yep. Again, this is a Xenogears reference, as this Gnosis-Gear resembles El-Renmazuo, Billy Lee Black’s Omnigear.



Natus Lumen, as you might expect from the name, is strong against beam attacks. A shame that some of our best attacks are beam based…



Ah yes, one of those guys that gets five feet from ya before shooting. Efficient.



“Sniper Mode” is a pain in the ass that allows Lumen to counter any ether-based attacks with a powerful attack.



You… want to avoid that.



But, eventually, he’ll fade just like his buddy.



And another three Zohars explode.

Incidentally, if you’ve noticed, each Gnosis-Gear drops a different “powerful” ES part, so these battles technically get progressively easier as you get better equipped. If you’re having trouble with one particular Gnosis-Gear, try powering up on one of its easier contemporaries.



Another orb down, time for Greenie.



We’re back on-foot again, and this area looks… like that one forest area from Final Fantasy 10. If I have to catch butterflies, I’m out.



The teleporter we want to use is under the lake and inaccessible.



And there are Yuriev soldiers skulking about. Unlike the gnosis battles of the Blue Sphere, these fights are more like what we found on the Durandal.



The trick here is that, as it says, if you shoot the crystal in the middle of the pillar, the whole thing rises.



So let’s do that a whole bunch!



And then scoot down the spiral to the revealed teleporter. The basic “trick” here is to eliminate all the enemies first, shoot the crystal as much as possible, and then book it on downstairs as quickly as possible. It’s not too difficult.



The second room has two (count ‘em!) two crystals.



Let’s try the one on the right, first.



This spiral is deliberately difficult, and requires some dedicated running (not that “running” is difficult in this game…).

CONTINUED NEXT POST

The reason this is difficult is because it hides a Red Segment Door. For the record, this is #2, and its matching decoder is a prize in HaKox!?. If you’re not playing HaKox!? at all, don’t even bother.



So let’s get that left pillar going.



The left pillar requires a lot less finesse, and it’s very likely you’ll get to the crystal with plenty of time to spare.



Huh, I guess the hidden room counted as a room all its own. Only two “real” rooms for Greenie.



But we’ve still got Natus Glacies, a lesser version of Fenrir, Citan Uzuki’s Omnigear. I guess we should use Jin for this battle?



Yeah, you sound like a guy that would be strong against ice.



As you can probably guess from the sword, look out for dangerous physical attacks.



This Gnosis-Gear has two different “stances”, one that counters ether, and one that counters physical.



Just use the opposite and you’ll be fine.



And then it will be dead.



Our last set of Zohars are in Big Orange.



The first room here is a straightforward “walk and fight” area with the ESes. I’m assuming that makes this orb the intended “first visit”.



Though I do want to say there are more monsters in this orb than the others.



There are treasures around, and, given it’s a big, open area, they’re pretty easy to nab. The exit to the next area is hiding down on a lower route.



And now for a Zelda dungeon.



There are teleporters all over this path, and when you use one, you’ll find yourself in the exact same room, just on-foot.



And with regular-sized gnosis monsters.



The trick here is that if you destroy an object in one version of the room, it will be destroyed in the other version. It’s your typical dark world/light world mechanic, but with giant robots. I approve.



And there are treasures in both versions, so if it looks like a dead-end in one dimension, try the other. Unfortunately, there are no heart containers to find.



The exit is on the ES side.



And you know where it leads.



Natus Tellus looks like Rico’s Omnigear, El-Stier. You probably don’t recognize it, because no one ever used Rico in Xenogears.



Don’t bother with bolt attacks, and keep your HP high, because this bull likes to lower your defense stat before powerful physical attacks.



Or whatever that is.



I do like his energy-scythe, though.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And that’s that for the Zohars.



Oh boy, glow time!



“Probably not, but it’s a good excuse for a powerup.”



Thanks a lot, dad.



And, because I guess the game thought you would give up inches before the boss of the final area, you’re given a reminder that the whole universe is in danger. Right, okay, guess we’ll go save it, then.



So now the ES Anima Gauge can reach Level 3. This allows for Level 3 specials, and any lower levels will fill up lightning quick. You’ll have Level 1 specials available after, like, one round. Not that you get to really experience that, though, as there’s no more dungeon left.

So, let’s review this dungeon!

Did you think this was the final dungeon of the game? Did you think that because it deftly incorporated both battle/traversal modes, was double the length of any previous dungeon, featured four sub-bosses, multiple “gimmick” areas, a plethora of previous game references, and the typical bizarro architecture that is emblematic of JRPG final dungeons? Also, we’re about to fight a two part boss fight with a dude that is trying to ascend to godhood. Put that all together, and obviously…

Wait… this isn’t the final dungeon? It’s just the finale of this chapter?

Huh. That’s weird.

Regardless, this dungeon seemed to selfishly horde all the creativity and innovative ideas that could have been used in, ya know, any other dungeon in this game. The orbs each feature different dungeon playstyles, and, frankly, I would have begged to have anything as interesting during the Merkabah or Durandal dungeons. Never mind some of the nonsense in previous XS games…

As with a lot of things in the Xenosaga franchise, this was a really weird choice.

Oh well, moving on...



Time to head for the Zohar Sphere. Incidentally, you kind of have to “dodge” the unlit, lesser spheres, as you will be teleported to those areas if you get close to ‘em. It’s not like you have to complete them again (yet), but it is a pain in the ass.



Yuriev was just chillin’, ya know, waitin’ for The Brews to arrive.



Yuriev: always gotta blame somebody.



Hey, I wonder if this is supposed to carry some kind of theme from the Canaan conversation earlier.



Yuriev, again, plays the “you hurt me, you hurt Gaignun” card.



Yuriev says that he knows his son, and he knows he’s not coming out to play. Though, yes, there was that bit where he shot dear daddy in the face…



Anyway, Junior is pissed, and Yuriev is convinced the only thing keeping Man down is the fear of U-DO. Way to be, Nietzsche.



Yeesh, you still have more holy objects to find? Just be happy with the Zohar and Omega that you have!



Think back to XS2, because XS3 expects you to. Remember how the URTVs were created to resist U-DO, and if they didn’t, they’d become “infected” and go nuts? Well, Junior points out how crazy it was that, of all the people in the universe, the whole lot of them were cloned from the one guy that has been U-DO infected for years. Isn’t that ironic, don’t you think?



“Infected? You don't mean me? Nonsense! This is power!”

No, you’re the puppet!



Random leader dude standing in front of Omega, blathering about becoming a god… this seems familiar.



Never go full Frieza.



And here we are, Yuriev & Omega boss fight.



Technically, just like The Patriarch final boss fight of XS2, you’re only fighting the man in front of you, and Omega is on support. Incidentally, the mandatory drop for this battle is God’s Experience, an accessory that boosts your EXP gains. One of the few items in this game with a name related to its purpose.



Like the Patriach fight, Omega lies inert for most of the battle. It’s the most powerful weapon in the galaxy, so that’s probably good for us. Also, while I’m thinking about it, the “old” Omega looked a lot like the titular Xenogears, but its evolved form resembles a white version of Weltall Alpha, Grahf’s Gear. Another bad sign.



Yuriev isn’t that powerful for all his talk of being a god, and he mostly just dances at you to inflict status effects.



This update is long enough as is, so I’ll spare you the full play-by-play of the battle, but your general plan is to keep Yuriev’s boost gauge empty, as Omega will only act when it is its turn and there’s boost available. This can be achieved by using heat-style moves to “taunt” Yuriev into prematurely using his boost… and that makes this the one battle in the game where heat is actually important. I’m sure it’s useful in low level runs or something, but I’m a “wounded? toss a potion at it” kind of guy. Save the agro-direction for the next Xeno game.



Appropriately enough, Junior leveled up to his “Red Dragon” special attack. Not that we’ll get to use it in the next battle…



You haven’t even seen my final form yadda yadda.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Remember how Junior was always kind of off his game when fighting family? I wonder if that whole experience prepared him for this paternal beat down… or if it’s just sloppy writing.



But, naturally, our boss battle did nothing, and Yuriev is still amassing power.



Abel is… still here.



“Fear drives evolution. Human beings have used their intelligence to conquer their fears and to obtain power. Oh yes, and this is that power that I speak of!”

Fear drives evolution? Oh man, I’ve been training my Zubat all wrong.



Oh yeah, Albedo. Whatever happened to that guy?



And Omega merges with Yuriev to gain an all new form.



Time to fight Omega Metempsychosis. I’m… glad this isn’t an audio LP. OmMet bears a striking resemblance to the final form of Deus, the final boss of Xenogears. It’s hard to see in these images, but it also has a pair of little “option” mechs hanging at the ends of its tentacles, and those mechs look like Vierge and Weltall, the two “leading mechs” of Xenogears. There, now we’re covered nearly the entire robot cast in one dungeon.



So the battle narrator warns us of… something? I have no earthly idea what this means. Don’t use Anima yet? Maybe?



OmMet is huge and powerful, but keep your HP up, and there shouldn’t be many issues. Remember that you can’t revive a “dead” ES.



Shocking, right?



And, like your party, the stupid thing can go “anima awakening” on ya and become even more powerful. This will be a persistent trait through the rest of the ES bosses of the game, so, if you’re underleveled or underequipped, it’s probably a good idea to defend for a few rounds.



.. Except the dang thing will use its own Special Attack if you don’t use two of your own to halt the operation.



Welp, guess it’s time to try out those new Level 3 Specials.



Can’t go wrong with an X-Buster-Cannon (not you, Canaan).



And a big honkin’ meteor puts this god in his place. Hey, that’s how we killed that stupid plant thing in XS2.



And our victory leads to… Ew, stop that. Can’t you just come down here?



“Probably because you idiots got out of your giant robots! I’ve got a laser that can destroy a planet in here!”



Just for the hell of it, Yuriev taunts Junior about being a useless coward, again.



Abel: still silently upset.



But here’s a Testament to tell yet another would-be dictator that the Zohar is spoken for. Recall that this is exactly what happened at the end of XS2.



Abel has had a big day, and takes a nap.



White Testament (who could he be!?) accuses Yuriev of going mad with U-DO power.



It’s Albedo! Albedo is back, everybody!



Junior is excited! … The rest of the party is metaphorically sharpening their weapons. Literally, in Jin’s case.



Well, he’s certainly in a friendly mood.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“I'm so happy to be able to see you again. It's rather amazing. I feel like thanking the laws of this universe.”

Ya know, I really did miss having a “villain” around that wasn’t just dour “I know more than you”’ing all the time.



“I was told this was going to be my game! Jin, make those two shut-up!”



Twincest is wrong.



Albedo helps out by teleporting Abel and the Zohar away to parts unknown. Why don’t the heroes ever think of that? “Oh no, bad guy has assembled the omegasphere… let’s just teleport it somewhere else.”



And, Zoharless, Yuriev experiences a literal fall from grace. Kind of a squirm from grace there at the end.



Yuriev is still Yuriev, though, and he’s not going to go down easily.



But Albedo wants to talk to Yuriev’s psychic roommate.



Albedo thinks he can revive Gaignun’s consciousness with the power of taunting.



And he’s right! URTVs have legendarily thin skins.



Doesn’t really solve the problem, though…



These two should have their own sitcom about fratricide.



I really missed Albedo.



And I bet Junior did, too.



“I apologize for asking, but have you killed me yet? I still feel alive.”



Yuriev reasserts control, and Junior is concerned. But Albedo has a plan!



Remember the psychic link between URTV? This was explored in great detail during XS1 and XS2, but has been mostly ignored throughout XS3 (Junior kind of forgot it existed last update, if you recall), so I don’t know whether to chastise XS3 for making this seem like a last minute deus ex machine within the confines of its own plot, or applaud the fact that it just assumes you know all this already. I could go either way.



Here’s the plan! Albedo psychically hops into Gaignun’s body and subdues Yuriev, and Gaignun hops into Junior. Albedo has enough power that he’ll be able to obliterate Gaignun’s body, and I guess Gaignun and Junior will be brain buddies until we stick Gaignun’s consciousness in a robot or something. Oh! He could live in Alby the Dog!



And don’t try to thank Albedo for coming up with this plan.



Psychic link, activate! It’s significant, because the last time they all did this was fifteen years ago. Symmetry!



And they use their dad-given power to subdue dad.



Gaignun hops into Albedo, though, for some reason.



Gaignun-in-Albedo claims that Albedo is on a suicide run (again!), and isn’t revealing his true feelings/motives. Albedo… does not appreciate the intrusion.



“Go back to the brother you like, dammit.”



But Gaignun forces Albedo out, and Albedo winds up stuck in Junior. So, to be clear, Yuriev is alone in Gaignun’s body, Gaignun is in Albedo’s (Testament) body, and Albedo is in Junior’s body with Junior. Everybody got that? Do I need to make a chart?



So now we get a look at the inside of the psychic link, with Gaignun (in Albedo) subduing U-DO/Yuriev, and Junior as an actual (naked) adult.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Gaignun finally “confesses” that he was built to observe/maybe kill Junior and Albedo all along. Also: we’re denied 30-something Junior’s butt.



Theme of the update! Gaignun was apparently always conflicted that he was built to kill Junior/Albedo, but actually loved his brothers. It’s hard being a URTV.



Children with psychic links tend to have separation anxiety.



And, like Citrine before him, he seems a tweak regretful about being born.



Junior disagrees with Gaignun’s general nihilism.



“My duty to keep watch over you is over. No, I want it to be over.”

So he wound up becoming a trillionaire businessman with friends and lovers and family, but he was conflicted because he wasn’t following dad’s orders, so he’s ready to die now. Yeah, alright, whatever.



And Gaignun becomes the child to leave Junior the man.



Yuriev fades from existence as Gaignun-in-Albedo drops dead.



And now for these two. Psychic Junior still sees himself in kiddy mode, and Albedo still sees himself in the cloak… probably because his other character model isn’t in this game.



“Hey, don't worry about it. You know how he is. Once he gets to where he's going, he'll probably spy on us along with Citrine.”

Aw, Albedo, you big softy.



Rest of the party is already walking back to the Elsa…



And Albedo decides to take a snooze. That’s right, folks, Albedo’s consciousness 100% survives in Junior’s head, he’s just going to be asleep for the rest of the game.



Do I smell a sequel hook?



Albedo’s parting (napping) gift is the new location of the Zohar and Abel. I’m pretty sure we were going to Michtam next anyway…



And for a final denoument, Mary and Shelley apparently get a psychic message from Gaignun.



“Thanks for everything you’ve done” is probably referring to that wild night with the donkey.



So let’s talk about team URTV in ascending order of interest.

Gaignun just permanently left the board, and, like his lovers, he was a character with a lot of potential and very little earned payoff. In a way, this is kind of a blessing, as his whole “I am meant to kill Junior” shtick could have gotten real old, real fast. Xenosaga seems to wisely put that plot point on the backburner, and we’re mercifully spared a million little “must… not… murder… brother” cutaways.

On the other hand, this internal conflict only seems to come out at the absolute end of his existence. It’s cool that Gaignun was conflicted all his life or whatever, but he seemed to be living the high life right up until the moment his dad possessed his body, so it’s difficult to, say, revisit XS1 and say, “Yes, this is a man that is conflicted about his fate”. Then again, I suppose that does make him an even more complete Bruce Wayne (so many layers to that bat!), so even that might be deliberate. Eh, let’s be generous and say that Gaignun is an iceberg of a human (URTV).

Dmitri Yuriev is in a similar boat. He’s a late entry machiavellian genius immortal in a franchise already filled with machiavellian genius immortals. There’s probably a neat story in how he was able to take over the entire Galactic Government through a focused campaign of nostalgia for last century and fear (cough), but that all occurs off screen, so we go from “Junior’s evil dad” to “Junior’s evil dad, but with an army”. And did we really need yet another enemy faction with Ormus/U-TIC, Testaments, and Albedo running around?

Come to think of it, considering he mainly takes the stage after Albedo leaves, Yuriev is kind of a lesser Albedo, in deed and the main plot of the franchise. Like Albedo, he seeks out the Zohar and U-DO to attain greater power and maybe conquer the universe, and, like Albedo, he’s clearly the “sub boss” on the way to the Big Bad that has been lurking behind the scenes this entire time. Unfortunately, unlike Albedo, 90% of Yuriev’s dialogue boils down to “ah-ha, I am planning something”, which, fun fact, we already have Wilhelm for that.

Still, his voice acting was remarkably pretentious, so I can’t say he’s a total wash.

That naturally brings us to Albedo. Albedo is, hands-down, the best villain in this franchise, but that’s almost entirely because he’s the only one that shows up. Seriously, go back and check the LP, and investigate how many villains actually deal with party. Margulis fought Ziggy once, and he’s been laser-focused exclusively on Jin since the opening of XS2. Beyond that, we’ve got Wilhelm who has barely left his pyramid, Yuriev who only introduced himself to The Realian Justice Warriors last update, Sellers barely even qualifies, and Virgil was more of a general annoyance than anything. Voyager didn’t even speak before his spat with Ziggy, and Kevin is… kind of a gray area. Albedo wins almost entirely because he does proper villain things, like call Junior fat.

It’s probably for this reason that someone on the Xenosaga design team took pity on the poor guy, and revived him immediately after his earned death at the end of XS2. Who wants to completely remove the best villain in the series? Nobody, that’s who.

And, in the end, Albedo winds up with a very generous severance package. In a way, this whole mind link scenario was an encore for the URTV story that dominated XS2 (and, according to Soraya Saga, some variation on this situation was originally intended for XS2 anyway), and its end result is similar to the finale of that game: Junior and Albedo come to terms while Gaignun has a bad day (possessed in XS2, dead in XS3). Except, in this “bonus ending”, Albedo gets to live on with his brother.

Which seems a might lavish for a guy who raped a party member, psychologically abused and murdered her sisters, threatened an entire planet with destruction, and then nearly obliterated the universe in a bizarrely convoluted suicide attempt. I suppose we’re now supposed to sympathize with Albedo, as Bad Albedo was an Albedo that, like Yuriev, was driven mad by U-DO (and that only happened because of Junior, too), and the reborn Albedo the White (who really only appeared for this update) is a strictly nice (if a might rude) guy worthy of living a new life. Am I being bitter toward a genocidal rapist? Xenosaga has a major forgiveness theme throughout its overall story, so maybe I should just lighten up a little.

And then we’ve got Junior. Unlike the rest of his family, this guy is actually going to stick around until the very end, but this is about where his personal arc ends.

What can I say about the secret (not a secret) second main character of the franchise?

Junior really is the obvious JRPG hero. Hell, he’s even less a JRPG hero, and more of a Western, Marvel Comics hero. He’s got all the traits of the old Marvel guard: he’s got extreme power (but is afraid to use it), fierce internal conflict over his interpersonal relations, a “quippy” exterior to mask a frightened interior, and even the old Marvel staple of a physical disability that doubles as his super power (see also: “monsters” Hulk & Thing, Iron Man’s heart defect, Dr. Strange’s hands, etc.). He’s even got a chatty, interesting villain that is literally his evil twin. Junior has all the trapping of the archetypical hero.

Except… he’s supposed to be just a hero, not the hero.

Obviously, that hasn’t been completely consistent. Junior inevitably dominated XS2, and, despite being the last main character introduced, threatened to do such during much of XS1 as well (Junior winds up with a cathartic battle with his brother during the finale, Shion just gets some hugs). As we just saw, again, when Junior takes the stage at the top of this chapter, he becomes the focus of everything again, and Shion (previously the undisputed heroine of this game) has barely had six lines since this chapter began in earnest. I’ve discussed the reasons for this before (mainly he’s got a lot more interesting villain and support team than… everyone), but, playing the franchise through from beginning to end, it does feel like there’s a testosterone-fueled shonen manga trying to break in to this unique (and, incidentally, surprisingly feminist) space opera.

But putting aside that little “glitch”, Junior is pretty awesome.

Aside from the fact that he’s just plain cool, Junior is one of the most well developed characters in Xenosaga, with a clear starting point (all bravado) leading to learning important lessons (I made a mistake, but I can atone) and making new friends (hi, Sakura’s sister), and then peaking around when he had to kill his brother to save the universe. In a way, this all prepared him for the XS3 plot of killing his father through, again, killing his brother (just a different one this time). And, all through it, he did seem to naturally evolve from child to adult, albeit one that still shops in the kiddy section.

So here’s to you, Junior, you’re probably the best developed character in the franchise, and you looked good doing it. Sayonara, baby.



We’re not completely done yet! We still have some damn Wilhelm foreshadowing left. And there’s so little left to foreshadow!



Don’t get excited or anything, that’s just the name of Wlhelm’s ES.



And then the whole Dammerung, the home base of Vector that we last really saw in XS2…



Goes dark. Man, you do not want to run out of power on a spaceship the size of a planet.



Haha, whoops, guess ES Joseph was powering the whole place, and now it’s gone. Good luck, Vector!



Miyuki knows who will save Vector! … Ah, fiddlesticks, we’re doomed.



And that’s the chapter, folks. Here are Mary and Shelley not looking like creepy dolls, I swear.



16:31, and that’s the next to last chapter. Chapter 9 is the finale (there was a Prologue Chapter, so that adds up to a full ten chapters), but before we get into that…

Next time on Xenosaga: Prepare yourself for the twilight of giant robots. Oh, and there will be a monkey.

GoggleBob, I completely empathize with how you feel. Thanks for still posting this.

This update really was the 'Hey, remember Xenogears? No? Too bad, because here's all of the references!' part of the game. I can't help but wonder how different it all could have been if there weren't any legal hurdles to deal with and they could more directly reference things out side of the 'wink wink nudge nudge' way they're limited here.

Oh and

The line that launched a thousand slash-fics...

It is kinda weird to think how often this game gets (attempts to at least) you to sympathize with just consistently horrible people but, idk, it's certainly well more earned than cherankov and even if it's uneven and a bit hokey the game does play up the tragedy of his upbringing and at least try show the deck being stacked against him. Maybe the lack of appearances in xs3 just manages to distance it though. Maybe it's having one of the few consistently good voice actors in the series. Whatever it was I'll probably always have that scene stuck in me and I still really like it. rest in peace to the best developed character story in the game.

To echo the last two comments: yes, this scene dials up the slash and sympathy factors to eleven for the entirety. It's kind of an accomplishment.

And speaking of accomplishments, today is the one year anniversary of the start of this LP.

... Does that seem crazy to anybody else?

The crazy part, I'd say, is that it looks like you're almost done!