Xenosaga: Was mi�riert

Okay, so this is ridiculous, but because I was bored and it'll be relevant in a few updates, I did some research on "uncensored" Xenosaga Episode 3.

So, fun fact about Update 10.

As far as I can tell, KOS-MOS's laser sword was not an edit. I can't dig out the Japanese version to check, but there's no mention of that being an edit on any source I can find.

BUT

There is censorship in Update 10: Shion's shower scene apparently was slightly edited because her silhouette was, I guess, a little too suggestive of actual nakedness at the end of the scene.

So, uh, I guess you're allowed to traipse around nudity, but only thiiiiiiis much.

oh i missed last update but xs1 kos mos is best because it's really oddly compact to the point that it almost seems like a chibi version in comparison to the leggier 2/3 stuff.

Previously on Xenosaga: Everything went really well with The Brews stealing back their Anima Relics and powering up the ol’ giant robots… but then Shion blew it when she tried to save her ailing mother. And then she freaked out over her dead fiancée returning from the grave! Come on, girl, stop caring about people!



So now she’s stuck in the official U-TIC time-out chamber.



Shion recalls that Virgil made a comeback in cloaked form, so… uh… Testaments are the afterlife?



Shion?



This was two hours ago.



So Shion has officially been captured by U-TIC, and she’s drawn the attention of (younger) Pellegri and Margulis. There’s only an entire war brewing, so interrogating some random weirdo should take precedence for the commander of the troops.



Of course, Margulis is interested because she reminds him of his super best friend 4-ever, Jin.



Pellegri has written erotic friend fiction about Jin and Margulis.



And Suou and Kevin are going to be involved in this bad guy party, too. Awesome.



The excuse for time-displaced Shion being the center of the universe (again) is that Margulis smells a mole, and it’s not because Kevin has started stinking of topsoil recently.



Back downstairs, Suou and Kevin are discussing the fact that Kevin has been working on murder-bots.



Suou is objecting to the Asuras being activated, and we know it’s an Asura that eventually kills him. If anyone is doing their English homework right now, that’s an example of dramatic irony.



Kevin assures his victim that it’s all going to be okay.



Suou ain’t buying it. We’re nearing the end of our big Act 2 here, so it’s time for Suou to start revealing that he’s secretly been a good guy (and sane?) all along.



And I’d say that Young Kevin is starting to reveal how he’s the machiavellian schemer that’s wandering around in a red cloak… but he’s basically been a dick since we met him, anyway.



“And I’m certainly not going to offer any easy explanations for the audience!”



“I have quiet objections to killing an entire planet.”



Interrogations do usually bring people together.



Alright, I’ll level with you all: I try to take Xenosaga seriously on its own terms, and, while it may occasionally seem… insane… I’m treating the franchise as seriously as it seems to take itself, and my analysis of individual scenes reflects that. That said, this is right about when Xenosaga starts to slip into “stupid” territory. We’ll look at the details more as we go forward, but, basically, it’s easy to write a villain as intelligent and calculating when all they have to say for two games is, “Ah, yes, everything is going according to plan.” When we finally get to the point where they have to reveal that plan, and it all turns out, I dunno, this entire plot was an excuse to skip leg day at the gym, it puts a different light on the proceedings. And, naturally, since the villains have to fail, a great many schemers in this plot have to suddenly become giant morons to get the plot moving in the good guys’ direction. You see this in a lot of media, not just videogames, but watch for it going forward in Xenosaga.

As an example, for this scene, everyone is suddenly an idiot. Right off the bat, Shion blows any illusion of keeping a lid on that time displaced knowledge of hers.



Margulis plainly states his intentions.



Ridiculous cliché.



Shion, again, destroys any hope of hiding her own familiarity. Then again, this bit is completely in character.



Suou immediately starts defending himself to a random prisoner/potential saboteur.



Shion blurts out further details on secret future info.



Margulis confirms the spy’s “secret” knowledge, and still knows nothing about her.



Nobody has touched her, at all, since the last empty threat. As the scene ends, Kevin shouts out his social security number for no reason.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Meanwhile, Feb dashes over to the Elsa to relay some important news. Hey, which one of you nimrods gave Feb our home address?



Jin and Allen are having a conversation back in the men’s dorm. Or Allen is at least staring at Jin very intently.



Allen is reflexively concerned about Shion. Jin… already rescued Shion once this year. He’s tired.



Jin brings Allen up to speed on the whole “Shion found out our dad might have been a terrorist, and I know better, but I didn’t feel like telling her why” thing.



“And if that winds up killing her, I’ve been thinking about turning her room into a walk-in closet.”



It’s possible that Jin is just as crazy as Shion, but he doesn’t talk about it as much.



She randomly loses consciousness at least once a day. Is that normal in the future?



The same illness that makes Mama Uzuki a coma patient for the entirety of the franchise? That can’t be good.



MOMO’s function in XS3 is “walking intercom”.



Febronia reveals that Shion is being held at Labyrinthos. … Uh… when did Feb find out about the whole “that woman is future Shion” thing? She sure ain’t talking about Kiddy Shion.



Let’s see here… Shion has encountered four named characters since her incarceration, and one of them is her dad. So I’m betting it’s… Margulis that is protecting her.



Jin comes up with a plan!



Junior, chaos, and Jin all know the Miltian conflict well, what with having played the opening of XS2 an’ all.



So let’s rescue Shion when Miltia is embroiled in a bloody, chaotic war that leads to the destruction of the entire planet. What could possibly go wrong!?



And let’s bring Allen! That will somehow make this operation more likely to succeed!



Thank goodness!



After a whole ten minutes of being free of the place, it’s time to go back to Labyrinthos.



“I can’t reveal any plot points, so just call me Ms. Deus Ex Machina.”



But who cares about these clumsy attempts to plug the plot holes? Allen is now a member of the party!




He’s gonna help fight and everything! For posterity, here are Allen’s stats compared to Junior’s. As you can see, Allen is… Allen. I guess the fact that Allen can even try to compare to a mutant genetically built to destroy God is a point of pride.



Unlike our last trip over to Labyrinthos, we now “have” to revisit the town area along the way.



Deez (love your ancestor’s photoshops!) greets you on your final visit to the Miltian Capital City. This is your last chance to enjoy the final town in the Xenosaga franchise. Well, before it’s on fire.



May as well swing into this mostly empty building I missed on my first trip through. Hey, Update File. Nice.



And on the roof is a kid who lost a balloon to a cat. How… how did that happen?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

If you want to help out the kid, you’ve got to use a trap at the end of the cat’s usual perch, and, when it’s close, activate the trap.



After gassing a defenseless kitten, you’ve got to “grab” the balloon, which involves smashing the circle button in the most finicky way possible. Hopefully you snag the balloon, else you have to exit and reenter the area to reset the “mission”.



That’s kind of a pain in the ass, though, so I’ll leave this kid to get his own damn balloon. The only reward for this quest is some ice cream, so screw it. I mean, in the original timeline, there was no benevolent android to rescue the balloon, so what’s the worst that could happen?



Hey, there’s that exact strip of highway from the UMN dive of XS1. Remember guiding Shion and chaos through that area and having to fight a million stupid kobolds? … I remember…



And there’s that Linda, standing in the exact same spot. Poor, doomed Linda.



We’re about done with the city, so time to head out and…



Oh, random cinema scene.



The invasion approacheth.



And jetfuls of soldier clones with it.



Hey, Junior is up there and down here.



“It’s the beginning of this planet’s nightmare.”

“Nightmare” implies the planet will wake up again…



And, for absolutely no reason, here’s Young Jin creeping around the nearby woods. I guess this is just to confirm that, yep, Young Jin is here, too.



Aw, memories of ol’ Green AMWS. We hardly knew ye.



Kiddy Shion, how does your garden grow?



That’s what happens when you try to plant flowers this close to a gigantic metaphor.



Kevin, this is the end of the world, an event you apparently planned. Don’t you have somewhere to be?



So Kiddy Shion runs off to a certain fateful encounter at the church.



“No one... has the ability to lead others to the truth. Our powers are... too limited.”

That’s what you get out dead flowers, Kevin?



“Only those who possess... divine power can accomplish that.”

So Kevin signed a deal with the devil because he didn’t have the strength to protect an eight-year-old’s poorly planned flower garden? Worst villain ever.



Meanwhile, Sellers and Margulis are discussing their escape plans. At least someone is on the ball this update.



Oh, and we lost Feb. Who Suou asks about without even noticing his daughter is missing.



“We’re boned.”



Margulis lays out plans… that don’t actually happen.



But, sure, let’s deploy those whacky combat Realians that are absolutely not ready to do anything... but kill.



Everybody seems to really trust Kevin. Well, everybody except the dude who dies.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Suou just won’t shut-up about this whole “I want to live” thing. What a whiner.



It’s funny, but U-TIC seemed to really think they were going to pull this whole “Miltian Conflict” thing off. Instead of, you know, accidentally destroying an entire planet.



Suou persists as the voice of reason. An Uzuki as the voice of reason? Did Miltia explode on Opposite Day?



And Margulis and Sellers both independently tell Suou to go screw his courage to the sticking place somewhere else. Wonder if U-TIC would have been slightly less insane in a decade or so if Suou had kept all his organs in place.



Back to the main party, and the chaos outside Labyrinthos. Uh, I mean… pandemonium? chaos himself is just standing around observing, as usual.



Reminder: Allen is a battle party member. Woo!



Our first soldier serves as an even better reminder. It’s happening! Allen’s got his own custom crossbow (… okay?) and everything!



And he’s got a few ethers to use, too. Yes, Allen literally has a weaponized version of making your soul feel worse.



Oh, and MOMO deals more physical damage than Allen. Hm.



But who cares? Allen is victorious!



Alright, enough Allen time. The ANTF is still wall-to-wall sealed…



So your only option is descending into Labyrinthos again.



But this time the center Command Room is open.



It’s not a shortcut or anything, but there is treasure to be had. This ominous sounding necklace just ups your EP or something.



Venture a little ways into the familiar Labyrinthos dungeon of last update, and here’s that door that Shion used.



So now we’ve got a whole new(ish) dungeon area. Our first stop is the other side of Suou/Kevin’s lab, and, yep, the Asuras have busted out of their pens. That should be fun!



Labyrinthos is a land of hallways.



But, hey, a Golden Segment Door hiding in the wall. The last Golden Segment Door granted us an Erde Kaiser, and this door is no different. Unfortunately, we don’t have the key just yet, so we’ll be back later.



Dungeon and enemy soldiers continue. Allen is a temporary party member (sorry to say), but he does learn new, uniquely Allen skills as he gains levels.



Big Shot is useful for damaging the enemy’s break meter and making Allen look like an idiot. He tries.



Conversely, here’s MOMO using her proper Level 2 Special Attack. That Realian knows how to work a bow.



More Labyrinthos. This little area appears to be some kind of storage depot, and hides a number of soldiers and boxes to explode. Also, the hallways are really narrow.



And at least one decoder. Not the one we want, though.



A little past that locale is a familiar room. The door is locked, but at least we can see Shion is alright. Guess those “ways of making you talk” got sidelined the minute Junior’s army showed up.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And I guess it’s time to check in on our favorite prisoner and her daddy issues.



“God, you’re rude. Who raised you?”



Hey! We didn’t have to go through the effort of rescuing Shion at all!



Suou tries to justify how he’s been a constant heel since we started observing him, but Shion doesn’t want to listen.



So… righteously… conflicted…



“Also, you’ll be dead in… do you have a watch?... I think like an hour?”



Aw, Suou is releasing Shion out of the pure goodness in his heart. … Man this guy is a terrible scientist.



Oh, and I guess because it’s hard to find a decent babysitter.



Suou has got to watch over Mama Uzuki, so be a dear and find my daughter, please?



And Suou finally admits that the only reason he’s helping Shion is because he totally wants to bone her, Lorraine Baines style she resembles a family member.



Unlocking handcuffs is going to take a few minutes because…



The Brews still have to complete this dungeon.



On the way to the interrogation room, there’s a really obvious chest with a key that unlocks the Staff Room a few hallways back.



Sneak into that Staff Room, and you’ll find that Shion’s tendency to leave her PDA behind is apparently an inherited trait.



Enough dilly-dallying, time to rescue our fearless leader. She is the leader… right?



Bad news: Pellegri was still watching the prisoner, too.



There’s good evidence that Pellegri was listening the entire time. Suou, you’re the worst double agent, ever.



Yeah, right, Suou, just play it cool.



Dammit! Suou’s true allegiances are revealed! And conveniently in front of his time-displaced daughter.



“I hope nobody interrupts us!”



Jin-shock!



This is the first time in the trilogy (though not the anime) that Jin and Pellegri have been face to face.



These two have a history. It was probably romantic.



Okay, definitely romantic.



There was also pretty clearly a love triangle thing going on, too. Jin likes Pellegri, Pellegri likes Margulis, Margulis inexplicably has Jin’s swimsuit in his room.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

But whatever, Pellegri is a full-fledged zealot now.



So interesting and so perceptive that I think we will now fight with knives.



Pellegri boss fight. This is the first we’ve fought her on foot, and she’s flanked by two surprisingly resilient U-TIC soldiers. She’s weak to ice (Jin’s specialty), and Allen can actually come in handy in this battle, as he can be on break duty for the extra soldiers.



Pellegri has some powerful lightning attacks, which I guess is meant to stand in contrast to Margulis with fire and Jin with ice.



Other than that, she’s a pretty straightforward fighter.



Hope you enjoyed your Allen time, this is his final battle. Don’t worry, he’s okay! He just has had enough excitement for one game.



“Dad, I’d like you to meet… nah, never mind, would take too long.”



“Welp, I better get out of here before I see Future Jin and get very confused.”



Yay! Everybody gets a participation trophy for Shion’s rescue.



Jin, this conversation could have saved us a lot of trouble if you brought it up an hour ago.



So we’re teleported back outside, and now it’s night. Specifically, it’s the night of the descent operation, so, timeline wise, we’ve caught up to the start of XS2.



Laser crossbow, you were too precious for this world.



A moment of silence.



Welcome to… let’s call this “Old Miltia: Final Form”.



In the future, if you revisit Old Miltia via the UMN, you’ll only be able to visit the Final Form version. The idyllic town is gone forever, and, in its place, an area that is, per Xenosaga tradition, mostly on fire.



Scroll up to see this same ramp area in happier times. At least we can now explore the previously busy road areas.

Mail call!

TirMcDohl of Old Jerusalem writes:

The reasons I love Xenosaga 3 are:

A delightfully clever moment when the heroes travel back to Old Miltia in the past somehow, and ES Asher, piloted by Past Canaan and Past chaos, drops their beam rifle, and it nearly crushes time traveling Jr. He yells up at the ES Asher, and current, time traveling chaos looks sheepish and apologizes.

… And then the note gets cut off. Stupid fax machine. But just for you, TirMcDohl, here you go!






Can't be omnipotent all the time.



Back to exploring wrecked Old Miltia.



There are some AMWS wandering around. Remember when we had an ES to battle these dudes during the start of XS2? You can either punch hard metal, or avoid these encounters. Plenty of room to run.



Also plenty of places to hide treasures!



And Federal Reports!



So many Federal Reports!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Ziggy’s Level 2 Special is a lot of wind up and a lame pitch.



But it does remind us that explosions are always a good thing. Blasting this U-TIC transport will yield another Federal Report.



Just past that overpass…



The Song of Nephilim kicks in.



The blocking of this one shot is clever, because, in the past of right now, chaos and Jin are meeting for the first time. … Or it’s just a coincidence.



Also clever, if you use the nearby binoculars to scope out the highway, you’ll see that the debris have fallen in such a way to create the “dungeon” of XS1 for that matching, kobold-y area.



Climb back on the roof, and, if you didn’t save the stupid kid’s balloon, you’ll find him dead. Failing minigames kills.



And another nearby corpse (I had nothing to do with this one!) hands over another Federal Report.



Really, game? Another shop reminder? In the middle of a literal war zone?



But I’ll take it. Oh boy, new weapons! I’m a rock star!



You will score 80,000 bucks if you decided to exploit future knowledge to win the lottery. There’s a whole stupid chain of “talk to everybody” with the NPCs, but the numbers are always the same, 68-37-12. There. Saved you having to check Gamefaqs.



And speaking of screwing with history, here’s another big middle finger to the polite player. If you left the ice cream truck open, the owner gets smashed during the invasion. However, if you were a dick and closed the shutter on the poor shopkeep, he survives, and will grant you a one-time use, full HP heal ice cream cone. It’s completely unintuitive, but I guess it works off the logic of being something you’d do in a New Game+ (there is no New Game+).



Well, I’m good and depressed now. Time to leave town.



And we’re going to close this update as we approach Feb’s church in search of Kiddy Shion. Gawrsh, I hope Feb stayed on the Elsa where it’s safe!

Next time on Xenosaga: Let’s talk about our feelings until we’re all dead.

Huh, I was sure it was. Maybe I just got confused by all the other impalings later on which were entirely covered by glowy particles I just assume that every time it happened it was due to editing. Oh well!


And man, I do love how much attention the game paid to making sure all the Miltia callbacks worked. I also love how the BGM during the Third Descent Operation was retooled from the opening scenario of XSII.

Yay! Time travel shenanigans!

I'm a sucker for them. <3

Sometimes, the apples do fall far from the tree. And, very rarely, they're blown off the edge of the map by a hurricane or something.

Previously on Xenosaga: Allen confirmed that he’ll be a hidden character in Xenosaga Episode 3: Advance, and Shion got rescued from the clutches of U-TIC/Ormus/her dad. Also, Old Miltia started its descent into a flaming pit, which isn’t very good for…



Virgil and Feb are chilling at church. I feel like Feb’s little jaunt to the Elsa was some kind of non-canon writing shortcut to get the party off its ass. I just don’t see Sister Feb here leaving Virgil alone with the fine china.



“Awww! I was supposed to fight in that! And I’m missing it!”



Virgil admits that, prior to meeting Feb, he was literally indoctrinated against Realians. Remember the Federation saying: “Death is disguised: don’t gamble with Realians.”



I’m just trying to picture MOMO being ordered to kill…



Don’t worry, we won’t come back to the fact that Feb is “half-human”. I guess it’s just further justification for her organ harvesting from earlier.



And Kiddy Shion shows up.



With Friends!



“Except that one with pipe! He might be a plumber!”



Right in the cojones!



Feb leaps to defend Virgil and Shion. She’s not exactly fighting fit, but she is the only non-grievously injured, non-child here.



I’m not immortalizing the moment with a GIF, but Feb is whacked sideways with that pipe about a second after saying this.



Virgil is not happy with the situation.



This is not one of the many censored scenes from this and the coming update. Feb is impaled on a pipe, and you can hear a lovely “slorch” sound as it tears through her abdomen, but there is no blood in either version, and her wound is juuuust out of frame. So, anyway, Feb ain’t making it out of here.



We don’t get to see Feb impaled, but an eight year old does.



And then she’s devoured by berserk Realians. The… uh… “crunching noises” really sell the scene.



So Virgil decides to kick their artificial asses.



Now here’s where the censors kick in. As mentioned in previous updates (and by Spoony), Xenosaga Episode 3 decided to tone down the violence for the American release. This… didn’t actually involve stopping any of the violence, there’s just notably less blood when, for instance, an injured soldier starts clobbering humanish fellows with a metal pipe.



This, unfortunately, significantly detracts from the scene, because “clean” Virgil doesn’t quite give off the same “absolutely should not be near a small child” vibe as “bathed in blood” Virgil.



Still plenty traumatic, though.



“Here, I got you this key item, now get outta here.”



OH MY GOD THE CHURCH SIDE DOOR FINALLY PAID OFF! Run, Shion, and enjoy the XS1 continuity as you flee!



Outside, Shion somehow misses Shion running past. Time travel is rough on narratives.



“Hey! Did I make it in time to save... Oh.”



This is quite the sticky wicket!



This isn’t outright stated, but with Kiddy Shion out the side door, Virgil is fighting a battalion only to protect Feb’s lifeless corpse. Dedication.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“Hello, trauma, my old friend.”



Shion leaps into the fray...



With the rest of The Brews. This collection of Realians isn’t much more difficult than a regular random battle, but at least you, player, get to help Virgil.



This is what helping looks like.



One quickie battle later, and Virgil is not taking this well.



It’s time for Shion to deal with someone else’s breakdown for once.



Oh, and (further) bad news: Virgil realizes that the Realians, crazy or no, all have wi-fi, so they probably noticed a defenseless human escaping the church. But, hey, Virgil remembers Shion’s name now!



“Yeah, protecting my younger self sounds like a good idea.”



“I just kind of assumed you were a dick thanks to every single interaction we’ve ever had.”



Hey everybody, remember Xenosaga Episode 1? Remember how, about 75% of the way through the prologue, Virgil detonated a bunch of Realians like suicide bombers and it was like the worst thing Shion had ever seen?



Shion has had a rough year.



“Did we all have to crowd into the church at once?”



Another plot/gameplay disconnect. We just took out four Realians like it was no big deal. The whole “we’re surrounded” thing doesn’t exactly ring true when we’ve fought through three games worth of monster infested dungeons. Remember when we fought Albedo’s ES? On foot? How could this be worse?



But Shion is going to get this Virgil out and to… uh… somewhere?



“Come on, Virgil. Don't quit on me. We both know that's not like you.”
“Heh! Not like me, huh?...”

“You got that right!”



And Virgil shoves Shion out of the church.

He was kind of a burden, Shion. Not like you could have used any of your 99 Med Kits on him.



“Please! Just promise... that you'll protect her.”

“You’re the second person to ask me that in the last hour!”



“You can be in the battle party, again! I promise!”



Good news, Virg, I bet you’d find it easy to remember.



And the church explodes. Virgil used the Realian self-destruct code on the surrounding army of Realians, and that caused quite a blast. Note that this isn’t a stable time loop: it’s been established that there is an “original timeline”, and Virgil somehow got the Realian destruct code on his own in that universe.



Shion dashes back into the church. Looking around, by all accounts, Virgil was obliterated, though Shion does linger on looking at the side door, so maybe he made it out?



“Jin, if we just broke the timeline, and all of space and time collapses, would we feel it?”



And, as it begins to rain on the church’s new sunroof, Virgil shows up.



Uh, that is to say, Next Sunday AD Virgil.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Virgil is back to being a dick! Everything makes sense again.



Technically, I think this means Virgil is better at moving past things than Shion. Actually, I think most turtles are better at moving past things than Shion.



Tools can protect people!



And, like in XS1, Virgil calls Shion out on the whole Realian “built to be bombs” hypocrisy. And now he’s got even more ammo to drive our heroine nuts.



Reminder: Virgil has been hanging out with Kevin for a year. And Voyager. And Albedo.



“What are you embarrassed about? That's basic human instinct. Humans are driven by impulse to destroy. Destruction serves as a way to feel out others and confirm your own existence. Then you try to find atonement to comfort yourself after you're unable to deny your instincts. I tried to live exactly like that. And you've lived for that same purpose! You disassembled Realians and dreamed of giving consciousness to inorganic matter. Comforting yourself for the hatred towards your father and anger over your mother's death. You're doing things you don't want to do, just to escape your own feelings of guilt. ‘Hypocrite’...the word doesn't even begin to describe you. Be more true to yourself!”

Oh! Oh! Do Junior next!



“I’ve been reading your Facebook updates! That week you tried to be paleo? Ha!”



“One could say we’re not so different, you and I.”



“Chiefly because we seem to be in some kind of time loop and… Hey! Did my younger self just explode?”



Shion rejects Testament Philosophy 101.



“You know you love us. Well, at least one of us.”



It’s okay to admit you like that your dead fiancée is less dead.



“And at least two of you guys have actively tried to kill me!”



“Pssst. Ask him to call me later.”



Jin gets tired of this nonsense.



“Hey, I was just trying to talk to the lady. Buzz off, dweeb.”



Boss fight!



We fought Virgil’s ES earlier, and now we get to fight Virgil and his big purple buddy. Like the Voyager fight, this is one enemy that attacks you in tandem with his Shadow Pokémon.



Virgil starts the match with a taunt and uses that overdrive thing that T-elos used halfway through her boss fight. This is meant to be intimidating, but it’s basically just the flow of this battle: Virgil is tough, you’re tough, let’s punch each other until somebody falls down.



He’s weak to fire (Testaments appear to be pretty flammable), and strong against ice. He predominantly uses ice elemental for his attacks, so that makes sense. Like Voyager, he isn’t human, so you can’t use any “human only” attacks. He’s also really tough to break, so don’t count on BP-focused attacks.



This isn’t a difficult battle, and, as I mentioned a moment ago, it’s pretty straightforward. Stay healed, attack when possible, and, if a super attack is telegraphed, switch in your most resilient fighters to defend. Because you’re coming straight from a save point and going to another save point, feel free to dump all your EP into fire attacks to speed things along.



And down he goes.



Do I even need to mention that the battle means nothing to the narrative?



A disembodied voice rings out to defend Shion’s sanity.



Yay! It’s Ghost Feb! Presumably, this isn’t “just died five minutes ago” Ghost Feb, but the Ghost Feb that has been assisting the party since XS1. Well, “assisting” the party.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Raise your hand if you remembered Virgil even had a first name.



"You're so... salty."



Virgil retorts with the “I know you are, but what am I?” defense.



“Please. You must accept who you really are. You don't hate anyone. You just want to reject yourself, because you can't feel hatred.”

Feb has spent the last fifteen years of her ghost time fretting over her sisters and watching her ex-boyfriend be a dick. The afterlife of Xenosaga is dismal.



Sound familiar?



“Mostly through eating us. But I think that counts.”



Why do I picture all the testaments just hanging out at Hot Topic, talking about how commercial it’s gotten, and how cool it used to be? Then they try to convince the clerk to play their demo tape.



Literally the last person you saw when you died, Virgil! Well, the first time you died, not counting broken timelines.



“That's not true, and you know it, Luis. You have returned to this place for a reason. You chose to become a Testament, so you could return here. Because this moment proved who you once were.”

Good times. Good times.



Junior, Ziggy, MOMO, and chaos are in the back of the church, playing Old Maid. I think MOMO is going to win.



“I regret absolutely nothing. I am here precisely because I have finally accepted myself and this world! Those of you who reject this world, you could never understand!”

“I’m too awesome, and you know it!”



“We do not reject this world. We just want to believe in a new order that can be born from discord. We just want to believe that a single thought can change the entire world and shape the future.”

Feb has been spending too much time with that ginger ghost from down the street.



These two are just upset they never got to join debate club together.



And there’s your breakthrough, folks. Virgil misses Feb! Everybody look surprised!



There’s just no getting’ over you.



“KOS-MOS, get the machine gun ready.” “No!”



Hugs!



Well duh.



We all saw the replay on that one, Virg. You literally didn’t have a chance.



“No. You're wrong. You did save me. You taught me that by sharing all of our feelings that we would be able to change the world. And that alone was more than enough.”

“Change the world into a smoking crater, but, still, that’s a kind of change.”



He kinda trails off on this one, but presumably he wants Feb to get a new hat or something.



“Let's go now, Luis. She can show us the way... to a future for both Humans and Realians.”

Hope you’re not counting on Shion for directions, Feb. That girl needed a map just to find her own bedroom.



Xenosaga works off of The Frighteners rules.



“Do you have any more siblings you need me to kill?”



“Feb! I’m so bad at making decisions! Feb!”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“Feb! What am I supposed to decide? Feb!”



Great, another ghost telling Shion to do whatever the hell she wants. Prematurely Dead Young Virgil disagrees with this plan.



Well, there are only two other female party members. So… MOMO?



“Don’t try to call me, Shion! I’m going to let it go to voice mail!”



You never did, and you know it.



“I’m pretty sure the timeline is fubared as is, Shion. I don’t even want to know what happens if younger you dies.”



Right beside you…. It is MOMO!



Alright, let’s go ahead and talk about what just happened, and knock a few characters off the board while we’re at it.

Luis Virgil is dead now, forever. I have this signed note from the writers of Xenosaga that he is not coming back. I guess dying twice in ten minutes did the trick.

Once again, this is just Goggle Bob conjecture, but Virgil seems like a failure of a character thanks to various “context clues” throughout the series. Clue #1: his name is bloody “Virgil”, so you know there was some metaphorical “trip through the underworld” thing planned. Second, it’s clear from the very beginning that Virgil is meant to be tied into the grand Xenosaga/Shion story. He’s basically Shion’s ideological opposite when it comes to Realians and (the value of) life in general, and he saw Feb as he died way back on the Woglinde. And recall, back then, he was an actual playable character. It’s obvious that there was a lot planned for this auxiliary character.

But it didn’t work out so great.

Here’s Virgil’s path through the series: he’s integral to the start of XS1, and then tragically and poignantly (if only for the impact on the KOS-MOS/Shion relationship) exits, then he stays dead for a few hours before resurfacing as a Testament that both clues the player into Red Testament’s undead identity, and triggers some relevant memories in Ziggy. He is last seen in XS1 commenting on Albedo’s plans and “next time…”’ing into the night.

Then, for XS2… he shows up for like one scene.

But then in XS3, he comes back to reprise his role from the end of XS1 as a general jerk, and gets an entire love story all to himself. The story of Virgil and Feb shares screen time with Shion’s own trials during this flashback zone, and you’ll note that, say, Junior has maybe six lines through this area. Again, you’re asked to care about Virgil and his star-crossed love, but, man, talk about unearned.

This is one of those rare cases where the Xenosaga spin-off materials actually seem to pay off. Surprisingly Alive Virgil of Xenosaga: The Animation makes the case for a “better” Virgil that was still gruff and marginally homicidal, but could sit down and have a beer with the rest of the crew. This Virgil had a little more time to breathe before being KOS-MOS’ed, and comes off as much more of a human as a result. That Virgil would be more interesting as an antagonist for the party, because he actually knew the party (recall that Real Virgil died before even the Elsa flew into the picture), and his “change” into a Testament would highlight what changed about the man after his first death. Animation Virgil might actually stay true to the name “Virgil”: a guide that shows the party (and audience) what it’s like to walk through literal Hell.

Similarly, Xenosaga DS keeps Virgil as an antagonist for the XS2 portion of that game; he battles the party on their way to Old Miltia instead of what’s-her-name with the lightsaber. This at least keeps Virgil in the limelight, and allows him to maintain his status as a rival, so his appearance as such in XS3 is less of a “who dat” moment.

In short, Virgil is a character with an arc that had a lot of potential, but it got squandered somewhere along the line.

Feb, meanwhile, is fairly one dimensional. Like Virgil, Feb was clearly intended to be an important character from day one, but she’s never really shaded in. For two games, she’s “Omniscient Ghost #2” (Nephilim holding top rank… and how many creepy ghosts does this franchise need?), and then, when she finally gets a full backstory, it turns out she’s Mother friggen Teresa. As I mentioned before, I really respect that Xenosaga decided to have an outright religious robot, but, once you get past that, Mai Magus practically has more character depth than this Realian. She’s sacrifice and fealty personified, which can make for a good supporting character (see Pennyworth, Alfred), but I wouldn’t go hanging Romeo and Juliet on it.

So, combined, this makes for a really weird scene. Feb and Virgil talk about how much they mean to each other for ten minutes, and the party just chills and watches, maybe employing a few med kits before heading back out into a warzone to save a little girl. It barely makes sense from a plot perspective, and, for us, the audience, it’s a little much to expect rapt attention for “that guy” and “his girlfriend, I guess”. Virgil and Feb had the potential to be interesting, integral characters, and even if that went out the window a few episodes ago, we’re still stuck watching their tragic resolution.

All that said, though, this scene does tie into the greater theme and message of Xenosaga, so keep it in mind going forward. It wasn’t a complete waste of time.



And now we’re back outside the church. Hey, remember when there used to be exploration in this franchise? No?



Leave the area, and you’ll find yourself teleported back to where Shion first arrived after the T-elos incident. This means that, hooray, we don’t have to re-explore that silly forest area.



Time to save a slightly shorter Shion!



This battle seems familiar from, oh, ten minutes ago.



“We only have to kill another hundred or so people to get out of this place.”



Kiddy Shion is running off to save her mom. Shion: strangely consistent.



Xenosaga Missed Opportunity #4,217: Aside from Allen’s comment about her being a cute kid, no other party members interact with Kiddy Shion. This is a shame, because I’d love to see Ziggy’s random paternal nature return, or MOMO as “the big sister” for once. And is it too much to ask for Kiddy Shion standing in awe of “cool robot” KOS-MOS? All we get is a whole lot of winks from (Fun ‘n Future) Shion and a confused little girl.



Shion is just using her moppet doppelganger to convince the party to go with her earlier plan to risk everyone’s lives to save her comatose mom. But, hey, it works.



Thank’s to Virgil’s keycard, we can now open this gate and scoot back to Labyrinthos. Man, we were just there…



But be sure to use the nearby savepoint, first. Don’t want to have to see Virgil again.



The shortcut is a mini-dungeon. It’s basically two hallways of enemies. Not the most innovative dungeon design.



There’s also a sort of “puzzle” for each hallway: press the conveyer belt switch, and then quickly dash to retrieve the treasure before it conveys away.



Or… maybe you don’t need to move so quickly.



One interesting thing about this area is that it uses the random battles to display how chaotic the Miltian invasion has gotten. Here’s a U-TIC soldier and mech.



And the next battle is a group of crazy URTVs. Combine this with the berserk Realians, and you’ve got three different factions all randomly trying to kill you and each other.



The tunnel leads out to a previously unvisited stretch of Miltian city. We never got to see this area during peacetime, but I assume it used to be less on fire.



Almost there!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

This area is a little more interesting than the previous hallways, but it’s still yet another Xenosaga Ruined City Dungeon�.



But there are Federal Reports to be found!



All over the place.



And, a screen of monsters later, we’re on the other side of Labyrinthos.



Guess it’s time to go back there. Again. But for the last time! Yay!



Headache!



“Are you annoying me again, Allen? Yes. Yes you are.”



And Shion runs off while Shion plans her next move. The Brews are terrible at holding onto Shions.

Hm, we filled the usual amount of text/pictures for this update, but it feels like we didn’t make much progress. Hell, we’re right back at the same dungeon that we were last update, and XS2 ended on the thirteenth update. Alright, time to make like my sweet old granny and provide toys and games as a distraction.



It’s Xenosaga Episode 3 BINGO! Every time a character wraps up their storyline, mark the proper spot on your BINGO card, and, eventually, this game will be over! …. That’s how this works, right?



I’ve already taken the liberty of marking a couple of finished squares. Who will we stamp next? Tune in next time to find out (if I forget all about this BINGO concept…)!

Next time on Xenosaga: Shion finally destroys the universe!

This was probably mentioned once already, but goddamn guys come on, this is a PS2 game you can have two different sets of portrait images for the characters with clearly asymmetrical faces.

Next update should be a hell of a thing, if you're either unfamiliar with or can't remember the game's story.

The rest of the week looks... busy for yours truly, so your Xenosaga "weekend" update occurs on Tuesday this week. I'm sure you'll all be very upset about this.

Previously on Xenosaga: It only took three games, but a Testament has been defeated! Granted, he was taken down by ghost hugs, but I’m still counting this as a win for the team. Go team! Now let’s go rescue Shion. Again.



Picking up seconds after we left off last update, Kiddy Shion has run off into a building filled with medical experiments, berserk robots, and the occasional insane soldier. I’m sure she’ll be fine.



So, finally, after two visits to the Labyrinthos basement, we’re allowed to explore the Acute Neurosis Treatment Facility again. The elevators are broken, however, so we’re going to have to use the stairs.



We’re at 11:27, and we may explore this lobby again for the last time. There are more corpses now than there used to be.



The stairwell is the only way to go. Hm, I wonder if detonating the entrance to the fire exit is a fire hazard.



For every bit of this update, note that Kiddy Shion somehow beat us to the top floor despite… everything.



For instance, there’s a raging fire up the first set of stairs, and we have to blast a nearby water main to proceed. I guess Kiddy Shion… jumped?



ANTF is now an official dungeon, filled with mutant monsters and berserk Realians. The Realian Justice Warriors are not remotely conflicted.



Second floor! We never got to visit this floor during peaceful times.



It… looks about like the other floors.



You may blast a chandelier in the middle of the room to cause a treasure chest from the third floor to come tumbling down…



With a Realian fight. Nothing complicated, particularly given it’s like the second battle in this dungeon.



Here’s Loria. She was on the fifth floor before, but now she’s on the more easily accessible second floor. If you found all the Federal Reports, she’ll trade for a door decoder. This will also allow you to look at the Federal Reports later, assuming you swing by Assistant Scott’s terminal on the Elsa.



And the matching red segment door is like five feet away. There’s a Ring of Coercion in there. It’s not that exciting.



Here’s the first of those weird “how to avoid battles in a JRPG” puzzles for this area.



There are a large number of Realians in this area, and, if you talk to the NPCs in the previous room, you’ll hear that there’s an anti-Realian drug in the overturned locker in the debris. If you destroy that locker first, it will freeze all the monsters in place, and you may leisurely stroll through the field of immobilized enemies. If you destroy any other block first, though, you’ll be assaulted by encroaching robots. Either way, these are just basic enemies, so it’s not like “failing” has a particularly bad outcome, and, if you avoid the Realians, you don’t get any sweet, sweet EXP. It’s not like you’re ever more than five minutes from a save point in XS3, anyway…



The next room features Rosley, who must be saved from a Realian. After the Realian is defeated, Rosley recommends you check the nearby console.



This is related to the second “maybe avoid battles” puzzle. There are a list of Realians that are not berserk listed here, and, if you want to play “right”, get out your official Xenosaga notebook and jot down the serial numbers of friendly Realians. It will come in handy shortly.



Also, you may “watch news footage of the invasion”, which is actually a reused video from the start of XS2, sans narration. Cute.



Done with Floor 2, moving on.



Floor 3 appears to have a collapsed entrance on both sides, so no Floor 3 for you. Dear XS3, why make a five floor facility if you never get to visit one of those floors? Was it simply to have that collapsing ceiling bit a few images ago?



So Floor 4 it is. This was the floor with Kevin and Mizrahi’s labs, if you recall.



“Except staff has run away screaming, so maybe some kindly heroes from the future will handle it.”



Here’s the other side of the Realian “puzzle”. Each of these tubes is holding a Realian, and each tube is clearly labeled. If the serial number matches a friendly number from that console earlier, you’ll be freeing a gracious Realian that will provide an item or cash. If you blast the wrong tube, though…



Battle time! Again, these battles aren’t that hard, and EXP/money/item rewards are usually worth your wasted time/HP.



If you stick to the proper serial numbers, you’ll be able to free the entire Funky Bunch.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

You have to blast at least a few Realian tubes to make progress, and then it’s time for a hallway that has seen better days.



There’s a man being attacked by Realians in one of the southern rooms. You’re told to use the foot switch, but good luck finding it!



Here it is.



Save the man, and you’ll find the treasure chest that was inaccessible on your first trip through the area. This hides the all important Decoder 05, which will unlock the golden door in the basement. You can probably scoot down there now, but that would make Shion a poor babysitter. Well, poorer.



Kevin’s room just holds abominations now. Well, abominations he has nothing to do with, at least.



And Mizrahi’s office is similarly devoid of friendly life.



Last stop on Floor 4 and… hey, man, are you okay? Realians aren’t fireproof, are they?



Better hit that nearby sprinkler switch.



Could have fooled me.



Intermission! Mizrahi and Sellers are having a candid discussion on the nature of destroying an entire planet.



Song of Nephilim is killing everyone and everything. Got it.



“I don’t care if you kill everybody, but you’re getting the science wrong!”



“Oh bother, why did I have to build so many doomsday devices?”



“We’re already launching our Singy Death Pyramid, so shut-up, old man.”



Meanwhile, Suou Uzuki rushes to his wife’s side.



Suou seems to be concerned that the Federation is going to blanket kill all the test subjects or something. Oh, Suou, what you should really be worrying about…



Again, Kiddy Shion has some kind of teleportation ability. Or she’s fireproof? Maybe she made it through the ductwork? I don’t know.



“Dammit! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that random spy I just met to babysit my daughter!”



Even better, an Asura series Realian is sneaking up on Kiddy Shion.



So Suou shoves Shion into Mama’s room. She’ll be safe there… right?



Safe, though maybe not happy.



Suou tries to call for reinforcements… or at least some better childcare.



“Things are getting… dicey.”



Suou is interrupted when the creature with swords for arms does exactly what you’d expect a creature with swords for arms to do.



Daddy is getting stabbed right now, sweetie, he’ll be with you in a minute.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Suou Uzuki is done, folks. As you might expect, this is a little bloodier in the Japanese version. We’ll be looking at that more, soon.



Hey, Shion, don’t worry, maybe it’s just a flesh wound.



Or… not.



Kiddy Shion hides under her mother’s hospital bed. Probably a good plan.



Except it might have gotten her mother killed. There isn’t much data on how the Asuras “work”, but if they’re trying to get at Shion “through” Mama Uzuki, then Shion just inadvertently turned her mother into a pincushion. Just throwing that out there to add a little extra horror to the situation.



But I guess Kiddy Shion is safe under the bed for now. We still have a floor to go.



If you’re a complete monster and backtrack a bit, you’ll find an ES treasure. Kiddy Shion cowering in fear, Adult Shion leisurely exploring the area.



Random doomed NPC to fill in the details on the Asuras in case you missed all that foreshadowing earlier.



Floor 5, last stop.



Random monsters bust through a previously sealed door. Guys! We’re in a hurry!



There’s that elevator again. Almost there.



Shion, use your Level 2 Special and clear these hallways. We’ve got places to be!



That dude that claimed he’d stop us from blowing up anything in this room is dead now.



Long live blasting random consoles for treasure!



In case you missed it on your last trip, there is now a doomed NPC noting the console with Mai’s Dad’s information. Remind me to swing by and talk to Mai after the planet has exploded. Wait….



Here we are, our one stop shop for repressed memories. Yes, this area deliberately recalls the “horror” camera angles of the original flashback during XS1, even if the geography is a little off.



“Lotta blood… that… uh… is invisible right now.”



Okay! Good! One less corpse!



Shion rushes into her mom’s treatment room.



And finds her mom resting peacefully. Uh… we’ll look at the other version in a moment.



This enrages Shion, so it’s time for…



Coach McGuirk! I mean… a boss fight!



The real “combat finale” of Act 2 was Virgil, and this is more or less just a cathartic fight for our heroine. Three Asura units attack, and they’re not all that difficult, just very likely to drain your break gauge.



They’re not very strong, so I guess using area attacks will win the day. Beam attacks are good, so KOS-MOS is probably going to be your MVP.



Because they’re prone to revenge and BP attacks, you might want to kill them one at a time to reduce strain on the party. I guess it’s your choice, but, while this battle is likely to be annoying (being broken is never fun), you’re not likely to lose.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

I think it’s supposed to be ironic that they drop Med Kits upon defeat. You can’t use a Med Kit with sword arms!



Alright, let’s get this update rated T for Teen. Here’s the scene after the defeat of the Asuras. The top frame is captured by yours truly, the bottom one belongs to the original Japanese version (which was helpfully uploaded to Youtube [I put the link to the source video in the original post]). As you can see, in the original version of this scene, it’s a lot more evident what happened here.



Lot more evident.



Also rougher on the linens.



Shion is just as sad in both versions.



Here’s where it gets goofy. Kiddy Shion is in shock, and trying to “put back” Mama’s blood. In the Japanese version, it’s clear what is happening, in the censored version... this doesn’t make a bit of sense. Seriously, this must have been some zero hour editing, because there is no attempt at making this comprehensible and conforming to the “no blood” rule.



Still pretty sad, though.



Also completely absent: Shion kind of goes into (more?) shock at Future Jin’s prodding, and “drops” her handful of blood. It’s disturbing in the original, and, in the American version, it’s just a shot of her knees with absolutely zero context.



And, as Shion freaks out and rejects the reality of her situation, you can see she’s basically kneeling in a pool of blood in some versions.

Anyway, that’s about it for the edits for this scene. There will be more in later updates.



So the Zohar, deep within Labyrinthos, reacts to Kiddy Shion’s issues.



And here come the gnosis!



Kiddy Shion kinda freezes in her freakout pose, while the party is left to wonder what happened.



There are gnosis abound, so, KOS-MOS, do your thing.



This is like the third least impossible thing that has happened today, Shion.



Jin tries to calm his sister. There’s a distinct reason for that…



And she’s standing over there.



There it is! It wasn’t Mizrahi. It wasn’t The Song of Nephilim. It wasn’t U-TIC or Ormus or any of those. It was Shion, our heroine, that called the gnosis into the universe. Kiddy Shion freaked out so thoroughly at the death of her parents that she resonated with the Zohar and ripped a hole in time and space. Way to go, Shion.



Whoops!



Shion takes it all as well as you’d expect.



Hey, wait a minute, if Kiddy Shion was able to so thoroughly trash all of space with one freakout, what happens if Adult Shion joins in the fun?



Not like she was having a good day before she found out she was inadvertently responsible for millions of deaths across the universe…



Double whoops!



And the payoff! The Double Shion Freakout� summons the biggest gnosis of them all: Abel’s Ark. If you squint, you can see little tiny Old Miltia there in the center. Abel’s Ark is big, ya’ll.



Well duh.



The party, I guess, just knows Abel’s Ark appeared? Like, they can see it, but they should be able to see it in the same way an ant perceives a monster truck. Whatever. The party needs to catch up to the plot sooner than later anyway.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And, yes, we never really went back in time. This whole time we’ve been in a simulation, like when we dove into KOS-MOS’s subconscious during XS1, or MOMO’s during XS2. Though chaos does note that whoever put this all together tapped into the subconsciouses of everyone that was on Miltia, so I guess that explains why we got to see stuff that Shion would have had no way of knowing. There, plot hole filled.



And then we’ve got a villain to fill in the rest of the details.



“One Shion screwed up the universe but good. So we figured, hey, why not try for two?”



“Way to break the universe and not even remember it, hero.”



Bum bum bum!



That’s Allen speaking, possibly the only other party member that would recognize Kevin on sight. Jin is debatable, as, ya know, Shion isn’t likely to bring any dates home to her doofy brother.



This update is going to be long enough as is, but Junior follows this up with the complete non sequitur, “He was Shion's boyfriend?” I like that Junior has been maybe trying to suss out Shion lore for the last year.



“And Testaments are bad… right?”



Burying the lead there, Kevin.



“Could have saved me a few therapy bills, you jerk.”



“My HP stat was atrocious. One KOS-MOS attack killed me? I needed a boost.”



“I noticed that your younger self was kind of a dick. And worked for U-TIC. And destroyed my home planet. You never mentioned this when we were dating.”



“It seemed like the thing to do.”



… Seriously? Shion, you’re not buying this, are you? Shion… why are you walking over to him? Shion?



I do like that it’s Junior that leaps to defend Shion, and not Kevin’s (albeit hapless) romantic rival.



Do good guys ever say, “Silence”?



“Great, now I’ve got to deal with my girlfriend’s overprotective brother. Put down the sword, dude.”



Bum bum… Wait, we already figured this out like two updates ago.



That was already assumed!



Ah, an explanation…. Wait! We knew this, too! From when Shion looked at the Mizrahi data and… okay, for anyone that missed it the first time: there are people that resonate with the Zohar, and they can talk to U-DO. This is, basically, exactly why Kiddy Shion could “summon” the gnosis, she told God everything was not okay, and God was like, “Sure, okay, would some unspeakable salt monsters help?”



But bad news: talking to God leads to death. Prayer kills!



Allen believes that everyone would be fine if jerkass scientists didn’t keep prodding people like Shion’s mom into communicating with U-DO.



But Junior, U-DO expert (remember, he was literally born to kill U-DO), points out that you can’t escape an omnipotent god.



So there ya go, Kevin sided with Team Badguy to get the necessary power/information to save his fiancée. … That story check out?



This tale does probably hold a little more impact being given over Coma Mom’s corpse.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Oh, btw, KOS-MOS is old news. T-elos is where it’s at.



KOS-MOS is U-DO powered? You’d think someone would have noticed that.



This means…



“KOS-MOS... is shortening Chief's life span?”



Hey, KOS-MOS killed Kevin, too, and he turned out okay.



“Step away from the robot.”



Kevin is a lot more in touch with his feelings than other Testaments.



Less likely to use the ol’ telekinetic choke, too.



“I understand. It's all right. I'm right here with you.”

Kevin claims to be “right here with you.” Where have I heard that before?



Shion admits that she’s happy Kevin is alive. She had issues with that about an hour ago.



Kevin, you’re starting to sound creepy. The cloak isn’t helping.



Jin has had enough of this.



“Shion, you’re an adult, but I don’t trust you to make the right decision because you never have in your entire life.”



“Probably something to do with everyone we’ve ever seen wearing a cloak like that trying to kill us.”



“I never liked you.”



Shion literally pleads with her brother to stop.



Jin makes a good point. Most people don’t die and come back to life after… Uh… sorry Ziggy.



“And he’s probably immortal now, which is a plus.”



The Brews are having a bit of a… personnel problem.



Jin’s solution is to get KOS-MOS to get Shion the hell out of here.



“Come on. Yoo-hoo. Come ‘ere, girl.”



Not helping, Allen!



Kevin tries to command KOS-MOS, but it doesn’t take.



“Whom you may have killed at least once?”



And KOS-MOS reveals that, thanks to her destruction and reassembly, she is now a product of Allen and Shion, and not beholden to any Kevin protocols. She, unfortunately, does not mention Professor or Assistant Scott at all. No respect…

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“I build the robots around here!”



“Your parents’ corpses are starting to stink.”



“Waahhh!”



So KOS-MOS knocks Shion out, ostensibly for her own good. Nobody respects Shion’s opinion at this point.



And then KOS-MOS crashes through a window to escape. For the record, she could have easily shot the window first, then jumped, but, ya know, whatever. Broken glass never hurt anybody.



And she summons her rad space coffin motorcycle. Now available as a model kit!



Away she goes!



T-elos moving to intercept.



But she’s momentarily sidetracked by Past ES Asher. For anyone keeping track of the timeline, this is the Asher either just about to or just after picking up Junior and Gaignun. Also, I guess this whole fake past simulation thingy is still running.



T-elos gives up pursuit, because at least one robot around here follows orders.



And KOS-MOS escapes with unconscious Shion. Hey, I think this means KOS-MOS won one! KOS-MOS: 1, T-elos: 2. Catching up!



I guess the crew of the Elsa got bored and decided to swing by and see how the party was doing.



Good thing, too!



KOS-MOS requesting permission to make a super cool landing.



Permission granted.



“Go pick ‘em up. I’ve gotta get this girl to bed. She’s had a busy day.”



Again, “the past” is still “running”, so the air is a chaotic mess of gnosis, AMWS, and escape ships.



And, hey, since someone left this simulation running, let’s take one last look at Mizrahi and Sellers.



It was mentioned in the Canaan data, but here’s the proof: Mizrahi dropped Old Miltia into the double black hole because he felt he had to seal the Zohar. Remember, half the reason he did this was because, essentially, one little girl resonated with the damn thing and nearly destroyed the universe.



Sellers blames the whole thing on Mizrahi being a sentimental old fool.



But Joachim is kind of okay with MOMO being born in Sakura’s place. He’s doing this so she has a world that isn’t completely gnosis bait.



Sellers… does not agree.



So Mizrahi busts a cap in his kneecaps. And that’s the story of why Sellers needs a hoverchair in the future. Thanks for watching!



Mizrahi walks off, and, according to Xenosaga DS, Sellers somehow gets over to the Song of Nephilim in time for its launch. Uh… I guess he rolled there?



So here we are with Mizrahi where we first saw him in XS1: Up on top of Labyrinthos…

CONTINUED NEXT POST

… Surveying the damage he helped wrought.



And then he starts ranting and quoting the Bible. It kind of makes a little more sense “in context” now, as he’s convinced he brought about the end of this world, so may as well dip into the Revelations.



Then he quietly laments that he won’t go to Heaven with Sakura. Poor ol’ mad scientist.



And explosion. Guess his death wasn’t a complete suicide?



And as he plummets to his death, he apologizes to his wife, and asks that she look after MOMO. Don’t worry, she’ll come around to that idea in a good fourteen years or so.



“MOMO, I just saw your dad fall off the building. I think that means it’s time to go.”



To be clear, they’re talking about Kiddy Shion here, who is still frozen like a statue. Also, reminder, chaos just said this whole thing was a simulation like five minutes ago.



But some rubble falls, and Kiddy Shion is stuck aaaaaaaall the waaaaaaay over there.



Don’t worry, you can just about see Past Jin drop in to rescue Kiddy Shion. Guess this means that Jin has known Shion was responsible for some freaky nonsense for the last fifteen years, but didn’t bring it up. I’m starting to see Shion’s problem with the guy…



But who cares, our ride is here.



And the Elsa escapes, party in tow, just ahead of The Song of Nephilim launching into space.



Then Abel’s Ark starts glowing like crazy, and it all goes dark.



Meanwhile, back at Bad Guy HQ, everything is going according to plan, again.



Once again, we get references to the Vessels of Anima being divided long ago. Guess Margulis’s villainous religion was on the right track.



Gotta catch all the Vessels of Animas and Zohar. Got it.



And that’s the end of the chapter, folks. If you’re paying attention to such things, the last chapter ended with Shion’s capture, so this entire chapter was chasing Shions of one age or another. Guess it’s appropriate that she got the chapter pinup. Chapter 6 also ended at 9:49, so you can probably guess why this chapter was three different updates.



It’s also the end of Disc 1, so let’s talk about what just happened during the disc swap.

As mentioned at the end of Act 1, Xenosaga Episode 3 follows the three act structure, and this marks the end of Act 2. This doesn’t mean Act 2 actually belongs in this game…

Starting with Chapter 4 (Part 8 of this LP), Shion and the gang have been stuck back in time. Specifically, this entire act explores primarily Shion’s past (it’s also Jin, chaos, and Junior’s past, but they’re predominantly ignored) with a sprinkling of Virgil and Feb in there, too. This is highly unusual for Xenosaga as, if you noticed, there was only one cutaway to “what else is going on” (specifically, it was the entirely perfunctory look at Mary and Shelley saying “hey, where’d they go?” aboard the Durandal). Considering the first act spent all its time setting up four separate rival factions (Scientia, Federation/Yuriev, U-TIC/Ormus/Margulis, and Wilhelm/Vector), it’s downright odd that we get a second act that ignores pretty much all of that. Margulis, for instance, appears during this section, but it’s exclusively to give more context to the past/XS1&2 events.

Which is probably the weirdest part of this whole bit: it’s all stuff we’ve seen before. Okay, maybe we haven’t seen it specifically before, but it was all stuff that could easily be inferred by the earlier episodes. Margulis and U-TIC framed Mizrahi for the fall of Old Miltia. Kevin was Mizrahi’s apprentice. Feb and Virgil had a loving relationship. The Miltian Conflict was a bad time for everybody. This is all data we already learned from earlier episodes (some of it going all the way back to the beginning of XS1), simply reiterated or elaborated upon here.

And Shion is, as ever, the crux of all this. We already knew, with absolute certainty, that Shion watched her parents and Feb die. But here we have an entire act that serves only to make that traumatic experience that much worse… except… it kinda doesn’t work. Aoi Uzuki, Shion’s mother, is a vegetable through this entire area, so, uh, it’s kind of hard to feel bad for the death of a woman that has exactly the same number of lines as Shion’s beloved flowers. And then there’s Suou, who was granted a potentially malevolent backstory during A Missing Year, spends 80% of his day being a rotten monster, and then, at the last minute, reveals that he was a good guy all along because he was trying to save his family (through, ya know, being a jackass). It sucks when he dies, but, man, I’m pretty sure I felt worse about his death when he was just “khaki dad”. Now, especially considering he was involved in the development of the very creatures that killed him, it seems like a “deserved”, comeuppance death. Way to dull the impact, Xenosaga.

Now, this isn’t to say this entire area is a wash. The Miltian Conflict is a watershed moment for the entire Xenosaga galaxy, and getting to experience it firsthand is a fun time for everybody. And, like many sci-fi nerds, I’m a giant time travel geek, and going back to hang out with a doomed population is always entertaining (see also: Legend of Legaia). At no point in playing this area did I ever feel like it was an enormous waste (like, say, exploring a certain giant gnosis riddled with Cherenkov backstory), and the dungeons and town of this world are actually better than most XS areas.

But it’s still a very odd choice for the second act of the final chapter in a series. All the setup from the first act is completely ignored, and everything focuses on KOS-MOS and Shion. Yes, they’re the main characters, but Xenosaga has been juggling a hefty number of character/plot balls since the moment the Woglinde crashed. If you go back and look at “Memory Lane”, the similar Encephalon dive from XS1, you’ll see that that Miltian Conflict also focused on Junior and MOMO… who are generally ignored here. Yes Junior and MOMO had their share of the focus during XS2, but, come on, it’s not like Junior’s damn family isn’t going to be the very next threat to the universe.

So, in short, Xenosaga Episode 3: Act 2 is an intimate look at one character’s past while every other character hangs out wondering when they’ll get a turn. Guess we’re going to have to wait for Act 3 for that…



And now for a bit of out-of-continuity housecleaning. As I’ve mentioned before, you may return to Old Miltia via the UMN at any point in the future (well, any point that isn’t in the middle of fifteen minute cutscenes). As you can see, you may then swing by any location with impunity.



We didn’t have time to stop by the mine in all that insanity, so let’s tell Mai what happened to her dad.



She takes the information well, and forks over a decoder key for the info. She vows to return the mine to its former glory in the remaining ten minutes that this planet exists.

Incidentally, there’s something deeply tragic about Mai and her grandfather hanging out at the mine entrance. They’re likely far enough from the city to avoid to all the carnage and berserk creatures running about, but they’re going to be rudely sucked into a black hole in all of a few moments. Kind of a terrible way to end your day.



But in happier news, we now have Decoder #5, so we can hit the Labyrinthos basement for the next Erde Kaiser summon, Erde Kaiser Fury.



Erde Kaiser Fury returns in his Type A form to deliver righteous ice attacks. Again, he’s not nearly as powerful as his previous appearance, and works basically like a slightly more powerful “Ice 2” spell.



Here is the skinny on Erde Kaiser Fury from Professor’s computer console.

And while we’re here, let’s look at those Federal Reports…



Turns out all the Federal Reports were written by Past Jin, and they’re basically Easter eggs on “what did Jin think of Old Miltia”. There really isn’t any new information here, but it’s cute to learn exactly what Jin thought of the various goings on of the past. It’s a neat way to cram one more perspective into this story.



And, since much of this update was kind of a downer, here’s one last look at the best relationship in this franchise. Assistant Scott believes in Allen forever!

Next time on Xenosaga: Oh fiddlesticks, now we have to catch up on what every stupid faction has been doing in the present.

Oh my God this scene. I swear it gave me fits when I played it, I just could not believe they left it like that in the game.

It was pretty clear by this point that the decision to censor the game came fairly late in production, certainly after all the voicework was recorded. Now, I don't know how difficult it would have been to call L'il Shion's VA back in to re-record those lines, maybe they just did not have the time or budget for it, but come on. Seriously now. You have this scene which, if we're being honest, is the emotional linchpin of the main character's past and any emotional punch it could have had is entirely deflated because you just can't get over the fact that the traumatized little girl is referencing blood that does not exist.

I mean, the emotional punch is also deflated a bit because the whole situation is very silly if you think about it for more than a moment, but taking it on the game's terms this vital scene for the main character is now utterly ridiculous just because they decided to purge every blood texture from the game's files and I guess just forgot about this line.

I can't even remember what was going on in the gaming industry at the time which caused them to over-react and remove all the blood from the game, either. That's bugging me now. Why was this decision even made again?

I... I was really hoping someone would answer this. C'est la vie.

Previously on Xenosaga: Wow, here we are, last disc of the last Xenosaga game. Let’s reminisce about the past. Like when Shion summoned the gnosis into this universe 15 years ago? Or when Shion summoned Abel’s Ark 15 minutes ago? Good times, good times.



So, uh, would anyone be mad if I just skipped this update? Move ahead a LP chapter, and just ignore this bit that is going to be wall-to-wall talking heads? Is anybody still reading this thing? Can I just LP Chrono Cross for an update and see if anybody notices?



Like, okay, Abel’s Ark showed up, we already know this.



And I suppose there’s some debate over what’s fantasy and reality from the last update. There’s nothing more interesting than watching your heroes try to figure out what the hell just happened.



For all the running around since the tomb adventure, we’re still in the exact same spot. Metaphor.



Again, chaos distinctly pointed out that it was all a simulation during the last update, but I guess The Brews were distracted.



And, for the slow kids in the back, again, this was all a bad guy plan to summon Abel’s Ark through Shion’s sheer shionness.



Oh, yes! Something might actually happen!



Shockwaves are pretty!



Looks like Abel’s Ark is getting out of here.



Bye Abel’s Ark! Bye Old Imaginary Miltia!



GOOD! MORE TALKING!



That loud squealing noise is the plot grinding down to “construction ahead” speeds.



Let’s explain something you probably forgot was even happening! Remember, like, twelve billions hours ago when it was established that entire solar systems are blinking out of existence?



Well, that phenomenon has picked up a bit, and all of humanity is in danger. This would probably be more significant if we had visited more than two planets this entire franchise.



And it turns out the cause of this strife is that planets that wind up in Abel’s Ark’s wake are disappeared. AA was completely hidden, but now we can see it (and the damage it causes).



Sure! Let’s go with that!



So since we know Zarathustra is on Planet Michtam, we’ve got an idea on where to go.



Though you may recall there’s a literal war being fought over Michtam right now. I was going to make a crack about comparing this to finding out some weird, mythological monster is headed right for Iraq in modern times, but then I realized this whole stupid thing is probably supposed to be a metaphor for the last thousand or so years of war over “The Holy Land” in reality. Subtle, Xenosaga.



So let’s check in with current Federation leader/constant asshole, Yuriev.



Ya know, we just had that whole stupid past sequence to flesh out Mizrahi as a human being, but now we’re right back to quoting the dude like he was some all-knowing sage. Way to undermine stuff we learned ten minutes ago.



Who is Abel, pilot of Omega and a kid that presumably has something to do with Abel’s Ark? Yuriev is playing it close to the vest.



Abel is immortal. Yuriev is immortal. Sellers can’t use his legs. Some people are just lucky.



“Half the cast is immortal. Get over it, Strangelove.”



Abel interacts with the Zohar well. I want to say we already knew this, but it’s been hours since we last saw the kid, and the theme of this update is repeating everything, anyway.



Abel controls Omega well. I want to say we already knew this, but it’s been hours since we last saw the kid, and the theme of this update is repeating everything, anyway.

CONTINUED NEXT POST