I've got a Job for you! - Let's Play Final Fantasy V!

Because you gotta have - (shot)

Because there's exactly one "little boy" sprite in the entire game. And for whatever reason, that little boy's hair is green-blue.

It's because on this world, humans are actually hyper-evolved plants. Children sprout from adult humans with chlorophyllic green hair, harnessing the power of the sun to aid in their growth, with females often sporting tiny pink or gold flowers. Over time, their plant-hair usually darkens to more 'normal' shades as their digestive systems adapt to their omnivorous lifestyle.

Because Japan?

I still like Comb Strangers answer better.

I'm guessing it'll be up to me to pick the classes for next time, then. That's fine; I've got the votes that didn't make the cut from last time to work with, after all.

I didn't know you were soliciting class layouts or I would have thrown mine out there. Are you going to be taking them after every update?

Oh, ditto. I thought we had a plan until the next set of jobs.

And, frankly, I don't know this game very well, so I'd almost rather see the most optimal/interesting way to go about it.

Every update you have the chance to redefine the party's classes, yes. I figured it'd be more fun that way.

As far as I know, the optimal way is to make sure your melee fighters master Ninja and Ranger, while your mages get !Blue, !White, and !Time (and Double Cast if you're dedicated enough).

After that, just go through the game until you reach the final room. You can find Movers there 3 at a time, and they give 50 AP each. Have your fighters/mages master every offense job/magic job as well as Dancer, then switch your fighters to Freelancer and Mages to Mime and rape the final boss.

I think my problem is that when I was working on this game I didn't really know what I was doing, so I went from fighter to monk, white mage to black mage, and never really did anything interesting like putting barehand on a white mage.

If I didn't have a mountain of a backlog I'd pop this in and play along using my improved RPG knowledge.

Playing the various Final Fantasy Tactics games were really helpful for me in preparation for working on character builds for this game. I pretty much steamrolled over everything in my path thanks to all of that knowledge. But this game is still pretty forgiving in that you don't have to exploit crazy Job combinations in order to win, so there's plenty of wiggle room for experimentation.

Really, the Chicken Knife alone pretty much removes difficulty from this game.

Of course, because the VBA has turbo I'm actually going to be using the Brave Blade, because I think you can use it with Spellblade.

I think FFT was made with the assumption that the majority of the players a) played Tactics Ogre or b) played Final Fantasy V. Personally I'd have had a lot easier time playing FFT (for my first playthrough anyways) with that knowledge, but I could probably tank through FFV without having played FFT.

Thief Thief Thief Thief
Black BareHand (any) (any)

ENTIRE TEAM IS BLUE MAGE

HEAVY IS SPY!

Eventually get everyone Learning. Then blue collection won't take as long.

I still like Lenna the Holy Karate Girl. Keep it up.

Already noted, but the only other way I'd do it would be to say that the first job you try and level up is ALWAYS Monk, because you can put barehanded on any class and have them be a decent attack option. That's enough to get you through most of the first half of the game, at which point you should have mastered Ninja or Ranger or preferably both and can start killing things even more dead.

But being able to roll out an all-mage party that still does respectable fight damage is the easy way to an effortless first half. The only part you even have to worry about is the timed escape from the castle, as that much fistfighting tends to run down the timer faster than it normally would.

Part III - Scaling a Mountain for a Scaled Mount, eh?

In celebration of their liberation from the nest of the undead, the crew has changed their vocations once more! These kids are so fickle. They're probably gonna get new jobs again for the next update too.



Bartz is now sporting the frock and taking care of the flock, while double-timing with Black magic as his second just in case.

Lenna, inspired by Faris' display of skill before, has taken up the mantle of Thief this time. She's sporting her Barehanded talents from before too, just because punching enemies to death is so satisfying.

Galuf has decided that he wants in on that bare-fisted action too, and has started calling himself a monk. And he's a monk who can learn Blue magic; why not?

Faris put on her robe and wizard hat and will be on mass-murder duty, though she's kept her own Blue magic learning abilities on hand for just in case.

(Today's update is in classy Harvest Gold. It just is.)



♪♪ Four Valiant Hearts ♪♪

South down the coastline we come across a new town.



♪♪ Harvest ♪♪

And you know what THAT means... Talking time!

Gone Walkabout
Man: What-you came from the ship graveyard? You-you're not really ghosts, are you!?
Man: The purple flowers that bloom on North Mountain are poisonous.
Old Man: Fifty years ago, most of the wind drakes were killed in the war... The one in Tycoon is the only one left.
Sailor: The wind's too weak, so there ain't no ships sailin'.
Sailor: Since there aren't any ships, you can't get to Walse. Man... So much for the glorious age of sea travel!
Kid: Lizards and other hibernating animals can't stand the cold!
Man: This town has the finest port in the world! ...Though that doesn't mean much now that boats can't sail anymore.
Sailor: Sorry, no ships to Walse! The wind's too weak for anything to sail.

In the Pub
Man: I hear tell there's dragon grass up on North Mountain. But there's poison grass up there, chokin' it out...
Man: Ohhh, didja get your hands on a world map? Once you're outside of town, you can press the R Button to look at it! {How convenient! Our world map has an R button!}
Old Man: Knights do it two-handed! ...Hic! {And thus an internet meme is born. Think up your own euphamism equivalents for other classes too!}
Sailor: A wind drake AND super-rare dragon grass? If you could get your hands on those, you'd be rolling in gil!
Bartender: Did you hear? A meteorite fell near Tycoon. Too bad it didn't land on my mother-in-law... {Ohohoho! Spousal matricide is always funny!}



♪♪ Piano Lesson 2 ♪♪

Can't neglect those piano lessons, Bartz!



BOOYAKA! Okay, time to do some investigative journalism and figure out how we get to Walse.



This is relevant to our interests.

*Lenna looks at Bartz, then at the woman*
Lenna: We must stop it! How can we get to Walse?
Woman: Walse is across the ocean. It's a quick trip by ship, but since the wind slowed, there aren't any ships sailing...
Galuf: Hrn... Haven't got Syldra, either... {Oh real nice, King Tact.}
*Faris gets depressed, predictably*
*Galuf faces Faris*
Galuf: Faris- I'm sorry.
*Lenna turns to Bartz*
Lenna: Bartz, have you any ideas? {BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh that's a good one, Lenna!}
Bartz: No ships, so we can't go by sea...
*The party regroups*
Bartz: So if we can't go by land or sea, then...

This could take a while, folks.



But then he got all nettled, and now he's having himself a sulk upstairs in the pub. I don't know what to do with him!

You're new here. And this is also relevant to my interests.



Jackpot!

Lenna: What kind of dragon-was it tamed? What did it look like?
Sailor: Uhh, looked dragonlike... It was wearin' some sort of armor, as I recall... Could've been a real live wind drake!
*Lenna steps down and ponders*
Lenna: Hiryu! Father's wind drake is on North Mountain...? {I see what you did there, localization team. If you don't know, "hiryuu" is what the Japanese version calls wind drakes, so now the Tycoon wind drake is named Hiryu to placate fans of the SNES fan translation.}
*Faris and Bartz walk down and face Lenna*
Faris: What!? Why would it be there?
Lenna: On North Mountain grows a plant called dragon grass. It's the only substance that can heal a wind drake's wounds... That means Hiryu must be hurt! {No wonder they're going extinct if they can only be healed by one rare grass type!}
*Lenna faces Bartz and nods*
*Galuf and Bartz convene*
Galuf: Wind drake, huh? ...Say, Bartz. Since land and sea're out...
Bartz: ...We should take to the air!
Lenna: We could ride to Walse on Hiryu!
Galuf: That's the ticket! Now, let's get moving to North Mountain!

Alright, we have a destination! I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that North Mountain is... hmm... East of here! No, that'd just be STUPID! Man, this game is hard!



Of course it's to the north. And it's even a mountain!



♪♪ Walking Over Snowy Mountains ♪♪

North Mountain
Enemies: Gaelicat, Headstone, Rock Slug, Cockatrice

Hoo boy, this could take a while to scale...



♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪

Most of the dungeon is passing through caves, actually. These Headstones are all too common here, and annoying for our party since they ignore magic damage entirely. Fortunately, Galuf and Lenna can give 'em the ol' one-two.



These flowers look quaint. Let's pick one!



AHH BASTARD! I THOUGHT I remembered something about poisonous flowers up here...



Thank goodness for save points. A li'l grinding, a li'l healing, a li'l saving, and we'll continue.

Hark! Lenna hath spotted something!



DUN DUN DUN!



O SHI-



♪♪ Danger! ♪♪

As if the damn plants weren't bad enough around here!



Bartz to the rescue!



Bartz... not to the rescue. Huh, this could be problematic.



I came here after that wind drake, but seems like I've caught something even more valuable.
Bartz: Wait...you'd hunt a wind drake!?
Magissa: Of course. Their horns fetch quite a high price on the black market, ohohoho! {Poacher alert!}
*Magissa jumps forward*
Magissa: And I see I've caught no less than the princess of Tycoon! Yes, you'll make a lovely souvenir for my husband. {Pimp poacher alert!}
*Faris walks over to the cliff edge towards Magissa*
Faris: Let her go, you addle-pated foul-complexioned scofflaw! {Holy crap, Faris, where the hell did you learn to speak like that?}



Ninja KICK!



Ninja SLIP!



Ninja FALL!



Magissa: Oops, I guess he slipped. Pity. {Nice touch there: Magissa can't tell Faris is a woman, either!}
*Magissa hops in shock*
Magissa: What!?



As if a little thing like the end of the world falling off a cliff would do Faris in!



Well, that works. Handy she had that rope for this purpose.



*Lenna gets up*
Magissa: Ooh... Annoying little twerps, ruining my plans... Fine, it just means I'll have to crush all four of you!

Fight it out!

♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

The Catwoman Magissa fight is a bit unique in that you start at a slight disadvantage: Lenna's still poisoned!



She likes to use magic, but she's not great at it. Faris shrugs off the Fire spell and responds in kind.



I think we see who won this little show-off contest.



Bartz fixes up poor Lenna. Poison sucks (HP), but it takes a while to kill you, so it wasn't THAT urgent...



Galuf is hitting like a mack truck, and gets off 196 damage from his two punches. Jeez, Magissa's gonna feel THAT one in the morning!



Lenna puts in a good show too, but her hit there was critical; she can't punch it up nearly as well as Galuf. And that's the other side of inherited traits: they don't give you the class-specific boosts. A pure Monk will always hit harder than almost any other class that's using Barehanded, even with that Strength boost it imparts.



Oho, we have a new contender! Let's burn his ass!



He's not quite as magic-vulnerable as his wife.



He's more punch-resistant too. Basically Forza is a battle lengthener.



He hits hard enough, too, though Bartz can shrug that off easily enough. Unfortunately, Magissa cast Regen on Forza, making this fight even LONGER.



OMGHAX! Yes, Magissa can suck your HP away with Drain. And she eats a LOT of it. Bitch.



♪♪ Victory Fanfare ♪♪

Not that it does her much good in the end, because GALUF IS A MAN and punches her in the SOUL!



Fun little aside: if you beat Magissa before Forza shows up, no Power Drink for you!

Well, that bookends that. Back to scaling the mountain (after healing up and all that).



♪♪ Lenna's Theme ♪♪

(Have you noticed that song has already been used about 10 times now?)

Faris: He's hurt pretty bad...
Lenna: Hiryu... Don't worry, I'll take care of you.
*Hiryu cries pitifully*
*Lenna walks over some poisoned flowers*
Faris: Lenna! What-Where're you going!?
*Faris walks over and Lenna faces her*
Lenna: Don't come any closer! I will be fine. Just...must reach the dragon grass...



That is some serious dedication to your Epic Mount.



*Faris takes the grass and Lenna faints*
*Faris feeds the grass to Hiryu*
Lenna: Please, get well...
*The dragon spreads its wings, looks at Lenna, and cries mightily*
*Galuf walks up to Lenna*
Galuf: My stars and garters! You're out of your gourd, young lady-that was insanely reckless!
*Hiryu flies over to Lenna and nuzzles her with his snout, crying out gently again*



Hooray, I don't have to waste an Antidote!

Lenna: Hiryu...thank you!
Galuf: Looks like you're both hale and hearty again! Let's saddle up!
*Bartz walks down a bit and pats his head a few times*
Bartz: ...Actually, I, uh, I don't really like heights...
*Everyone laughs at Bartz' phobia*
Bartz: What's so funny!?
Galuf: Your face, kiddo! Anyway, get on!

Oh, insensitivity to traumatic phobias! Will the hilarity never end?



♪♪ The Dragon Spreads Its Wings ♪♪

And we're away! Technically we're supposed to go to Walse now, but...



...Let's take a detour to Tycoon first. We can fly right over that meteorite now!



♪♪ Royal Palace ♪♪

Whee, Lenna's home!

*The guard opens the gate*
Guard: The chancellor wishes to speak with you.

Hope he's not of the evil variety...



Oh yes, more people to talk to, of course...

Kid: Princess Lenna!
Woman: Oh! Princess Lenna!
Kid: You're back!
Kid: Oh! Princess Lenna!
Guard: Princess Lenna!
Guard: The chancellor wishes to speak with you.

That was redundant and pointless.



Wow, you'd almost think she left the castle without a word of warning-oh yeah, she did.



Please stop saying her name. I'm starting to think this castle has a collective Lenna fetish.

Lenna: Forgive me... I didn't mean to worry you.
Chancellor: No need to fret about that now. But please, you must return to the palace! Our guard has been severely weakened by monster raids, but there is no way we can recover without our princess! {...Why? Lenna wasn't exactly a powerhouse BEFORE this quest started.}
Lenna: I'm sorry...I cannot stay.
Chancellor: Princess, you have a responsibility to this kingdom!
Lenna: Yes...but more importantly I have a responsibility to the world. Right now, we are all in danger...
*Lenna ponders*
Lenna: What's more... Father is still alive, and I-
*The chancellor ponders too and then nods to himself and steps towards Lenna*
Chancellor: ...I understand. Princess Lenna, we will protect the kingdom, I swear it!
*Lenna walks up to the chancellor*
Lenna: And I swear to return, and bring Father back. Until that time, please hold things together here.
*The guards walk down, and all three retainers nod*
Chancellor: For now, will you at least stay the night?
Lenna: Certainly.

Woo free inn!

♪♪ Reminiscence ♪♪

Lenna awakens in the middle of the night for some reason...



What's our dashing pirate lady doing up at this hour?

*Faris faces Lenna*
Faris: Hm? Ah, Lenna. It's late...you should be in bed.
*Lenna walks up to Faris*
Lenna: So should you...Sister. {OMGDRAMABOMB}
Faris: ...!!!
Lenna: I'm right, aren't I? You're my older sister...
Faris: Wh-what are you going on about? Me, your... That's daft!
Lenna: But...
*Faris walks down to the railing*
Faris: Besides, a buccaneer like me, really a prince-er, princess? 'Tis a bit much, that! {That WOULD be pretty cliche'd. On the other hand, it'd make you an expy of both Edgar from FF6 AND Bart from Xenogears.}
*Faris laughs it up, then looks down and runs off*



Oh that was real nice of you, Faris. Now Lenna's stuck out on the balcony all night.



And how do YOU know she has a pendant, hmm?



♪♪ Huh? ♪♪

AHH GHOST PARTY MEMBERS!

Bartz: ... *snort* ...nhuh?



This happens to me every single morning, I swear...



Galuf: What in tarnation are you doing, kid?
Faris: I think he's a few men short of a full crew... {And how!}
*Bartz glares angrily at everyone, then rubs his head*

That was mildly entertaining.



♪♪ Royal Palace ♪♪

Oh yes, more people to talk to. Let's get this over with...

Inside the Castle
Old Woman: Oh, the king's wind drake made it! That's wonderful.
Guard: Ever since Princess Lenna left, the chancellor's been at his wit's end.
Guard: If only Princess Lenna would stay here...
Woman: This is the king's chamber. No one is permitted to enter.

Jenica: I've served in this castle for quite some time. I looked after both Princess Lenna and Princess Sarisa.
Bartz: Sarisa?
Jenica: Princess Lenna's older sister. Sarisa was sailing with her father when a storm hit, and she was lost at sea. {That would explain Lenna's suspicions, huh?}

In the Courtyard
Woman: Hurry back soon!
Woman: I don't know the details of your quest, but good luck!
Guard: I'm the lookout!
Guard: If you find anything within these walls that can assist you in your quest, please take it. {Of course, we've already nabbed a ton of little healing item treasures and Gil all over the castle by this point, but thanks for the invitation!}



Gotta love secret passages, eh?



Lenna: Thank you!

Woot free loot! The chests have good stuff too, but we can't use any of it yet: a Diamond Bell, a Shuriken, and an Ashura katana. Aaaand that's all for this update. It wasn't long, but it was a blast! Tell me what classes you want me to take on for next time, when we blitz our way into Walse!

Bartz - level 10, White Mage L2 (Cover, !Guard, Black LV2, White LV2)
Lenna - level 10, Thief L2 (!Focus, Barehanded, White LV2, Find Passages, !Flee)
Galuf - level 10, Monk L1 (!Check, Learning, Cover, !Focus)
Faris - level 10, Black Mage L2 (Find Passages, !Flee, !Check, Learning, Black LV2)

Next time: Getting the power of the crystal of water!

Shouldn't that be the other way around?

Of course it should. Though to be fair, after a while Squaresoft's character archetypes start to all blend together...

Should we specify jobs before and after you get the water crystal?

Nah, we'll be conveniently ending off just after getting the water crystal jobs next time. You could vote for them now if you really wanted to (I'll add them to the tally/queue), but I suggest you place your votes for post-water-crystal jobs after next update.