I've got a Job for you! - Let's Play Final Fantasy V!

You know, that's interesting. Stick it on a Berserker with !Summon as their second command to raise their Magic stat to something respectable and...



Holy crap.

EDIT: Here's some more interesting showcasing. Apollo's Harp sounds pretty mediocre, doesn't it? Except against undead and dragons, but how common are those?



Most enemies aren't either. However...



Do you know what this particular !Mix (Maiden's Kiss + Dragon Fang) does to enemies?



It flags them as Heavy... and Dragon. Once more I reiterate, holy crap. The only downside here is that Apollo's Harp doesn't work with !Rapid Fire.

Bartz: I'd be inclined to master Mystic Knight at this point. Is there any use to mastering Knight? Doesn't feel like there's a whole lot that could make Bartz more badass than he already is.

Lenna: Let's go back to White Mage and Black Mage.

Krile: Samurai maybe?

Faris: Ranger to get another dose of rapid-fire and then whatever.


Do the class restrictions on the weapons have some kind of freelancer/mime clause or are they just that restricted? I like the sound of Holy Lance, Masamune, and Sage's Staff. Excalibur sounds nice but you've got the Brave Blade so it seems unnecessary.

Freelancers and Mimes can equip anything. That includes the 12 legendary weapons, naturally. It's pointless to list them as able to equip them as a result; by their very nature they're excluded from equipment limitation clauses. Also, the appropriate Equip (Type) abilities override the class limits for the legendary weapons just as much as they do any other weapon of their classes. The Gladiator class can also equip a lot of those as well, but we won't have access to that class until we have all 12 legendary weapons anyway, so it's pointless to list it.

The last level of !Spellblade lets the wielder use the top-tier !Black spells for enchanting his blade too (none of which we have yet, but we can get a few of them soon). This isn't as useful as it sounds.

Okay, just making sure. This team looks pretty good by now and I don't feel the need to stick you with crap classes right now. So just... level up magic where needed and show off some cool blue stuff.

voting Runeaxe then.

Yes, isn't it the case that the fifth-level black spells (specifically, the third-tier elemental spells) are the most useful ones for !Spellblade, because they can score instant kills?

Didn't show off Requiem in the pyramid, eh? That's basically the moment where bards justify themselves.

Pretty damn common I'd say.

I laugh at your Blue Mage's wussy Doom.

Pretty much. Match your elemental weaknesses and !Spellblade becomes a very deadly tool indeed. Especially with !Rapid Fire in the second slot.

There and Drakenvale, yes. I decided against it because there's actually one more spot where the undead are even more annoying and common. I'd like to show off the warbling wonders in a dungeon where their talents aren't just going to shine through, they're going to be able to completely destroy EVERY enemy in that dungeon.

Heh. With Dragon Kiss, extraordinarily common.

Compared to !Condemn's death sentence equivalent, it's very weak, yes.

I forget how the weapons work: Why only four?

Actually, it's only three. There are twelve sealed weapons and four tablets.

How about the Thornlet plus the Bone Mail? Theoretically this combo should recover HP every turn.

That's not how it works, as it so happens. One thing Square never managed to do was get Sap to work properly when paired with Undead. In FF5 and 6 both, Sap status still decreases the HP of the character inflicted with it while Undead. This is why you sometimes see undead enemies in FF6 take splash damage for no discernible reason. They're SUPPOSED to be recovering a tiny amount of HP, ala undead in Final Fantasy II.

A couple notes about the Chicken Knife:

Both !Aim and Berserkers can trigger the !Flee effect.

And similar to the Rune Axe above, Knives and Daggers add in Agility*Level in the damage formula, in addition to Strength*Level. That adds quite a bit of damage, and helps close that 23-power gap for classes with low Strength.

Having never once taken the Chicken Knife, I'm not surprised I didn't get all the info right about it.

Didn't know that about the daggers, though it does not surprise me. Pretty much all of the low-damage legendary weapons have some gimmick, after all. It's sort of a precursor to Final Fantasy VII and X's ultimate weapons, which all got power-ups based on various and sundry traits.

The following are the only ways to disable the Chicken Knife's auto-escape:

1) (Must have Dual Wield) Equip a Twin Lance in the right hand and the Chicken Knife in the left.
2) !Rapid Fire
3) !Focus
4) !Jump
5) !Dance
6) !Capture

EDIT: I checked around a bit. Turns out Bells are a little wonky.

The most notable thing about this is that Bells ignore Defense in favor of Magic Defense. So they basically completely rape high defense monsters like Ironbacks or Flans.

Or at least that's how it's supposed to work, but SE screwed up. Only the Tinkerbell and the Diamond Bell use the Bell formula; the others use the Axe formula.

Also, I discovered how !Predict works. Turns out what you get is not luck based at all, but instead dependent on the caster's last MP digit.

If I had known that Soul Cannon would have been sooooo much easier.

EDIT 2: Are you two crazy? Flare Enchant doubles damage dealt. If used with !Rapid Fire, you remove the damage penalty entirely.

Not only does it increase your weapon power by 100 for damage purposes, it also lets you basically ignore enemy defense (or 31/32's of it). Great for those enemies that don't have an elemental weakness to exploit.

Not only that, but Holy acts just like the level 5 ones(and bio), but gives you another element to exploit.

I'll give you Osmose, but that one is still situationally useful.

I suppose my point is that it won't be useful for at least another update and a half. Flare and Holy aren't available for a while, and of course Osmose Sword is easily outclassed by !Lance.

Double damage is strictly minor league in a game with so many options for instant death.

And when you come up against the things not vulnerable to instant death (or if you don't want to bother messing around with enemy level), you need something good to fall back on.

Especially if you just want to see really high numbers.

If I remember correctly, Flare Sword is incompatible with rapidfire - only the elemental blades will carry the elemental property, but Flaresword does nothing.

I only tested this on one of many failed attempts to take out Omega, so I might be shooting crap of my hands. This was on the SFC ROM as well.

I didn't know the Rune Axe could be awesome with high magic power - it looked like hafted ass compared to the other weapons.

Nah, Flare Enchant is compatible with !Rapid Fire. I should know; I've one shotted the first fom of the final boss with it so many times.

Why the hell did I wake up at 12:30 AM? What am I supposed to do at a time like that besides video games?

Video games are the answer.

Because some women like having money thrown at their crotches.

But not that.

So she likes to take it off for money but no likey the touchy?

Not when touchy means stab with a swordy.

Part XVIII - A Grand Detour
Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fanfare 1

Previously on Final Fantasy V: Bartz and co. nabbed the best weapon in the game, made their way through a trap-laden pyramid, got the first tablet, and were reunited with Lenna. Then Exdeath sucked several key locations into the void. Now they have their airship back and are ready to get their first 3 legendary weapons.



The party's done a few familiar Job reconfigurations, of course. They'll be visiting the basement of Bal Castle a bit later.

(Today's update is in Deep Sky Blue because... I forget why, actually.)



♪♪ Sealed Away ♪♪

But first, it's talking time at Castle Kuza!

Chancellor: Princess Lenna! Thank goodness you're unharmed! What is that book? Ohhh... Shall I read it for you? Yes / > No {This guy's here so we can refresh our memories on the hints for the locations of the tablets if we forget, obviously.}
Scholar: An island shrine protected by the wind... Perhaps it refers to the shrine on the island to the west of Tycoon.
Scholar: That castle suddenly appeared at the place where Exdeath was sealed...
Scholar: By the river's torrents... Torrents of water... A waterfall?
Scholar: Is it true that the rift between dimensions opened up directly above Castle Tycoon? {And most of these guys are hint factories for where to look for those locations, too!}



♪♪ The Sealed Tome ♪♪

Alright, let's do this thing.



But once three seals have been erased, The tablet leaves only dust in its place.
Bartz: Three seals... That means we can only pick three out of the twelve weapons.

Right you are, Bartz! And here's our three lucky contenders!



♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪ x 3

The Sage's Staff, Rune Axe, and Masamune join our equipment list!



Walking up to the tablet shatters it into dust and opens the exit back up. Okay, let'sa go!



♪♪ Prelude of the Empty Skies ♪♪

Meanwhile...



Wow, what a cast of boss mooks.

Exdeath: Warriors led by the light of the crystals seek the ancient tablets... Seek them out and kill them! They must not be allowed to obtain the fabled weapons that destroyed Enuo...

Little late for that, Exy.



Exdeath: Very well. Go now, my monsters! Destroy them while I obtain the full power of the Void! Mwa-hahahaha!

Oh dear, looks like we have our work cut out for us...



On our way out, we find a new enemy inhabits this castle!



The Holy Breath !Mix (Holy Water + Dragon Fang) is about the only way for this team to damage him.

Seriously, that's what !Rapid Fire hits with a normal sword do to this guy per hit. And he has 20,000 HP. Painful.



Oh yes, I forgot to mention something... He's undead and weak to Holy. And the Sage's Staff is both Holy-elemental and does 8x damage to the undead. So yes, you did just see that.



So now that that's over, let's see what the ocean's bounty has for us.



World Map Sea
Enemies: Stingray, Nix, Water Scorpion, Vilia, Gel Fish, Rukh, Sea Devil

Mostly annoying enemies, from the looks of it.



And then there's this guy. He only appears in a very tiny stretch of sea southwest of Carwen, where you otherwise only fight world one sea enemies.



He hits a little hard, and has a crapton of HP, but...



...if you can !Control him...



...it's well worth your trouble.

Mighty Guard (72 MP) - Casts Protect, Shell, and Levitate on all allies.



South World Map Area
Enemies: Slug, Gloom Widow, Mykale

Next on our list of scenic locales to visit is this inconspicuous little forest to the south. An encounter happens as we walk into it, but it fades to black! What the hell?



♪♪ The Sealed Tome ♪♪

Ohhhh... It's so very talking time now.

Walking Around
Gypsy: We're time travelers, living between dimensions...
Gypsy: This is the townt hat floats within the Rift... That's why it's called the Phantom Village...
Gypsy: Since we're talking to you like this... does that mean that we're back in the real world?
Gypsy: Trapped between dimensions, time has stopped in this town.
Gypsy: A thousand years ago, I watched as the world was split in two... Afterwards, the village was sucked here.
Gypsy: Have you been to the Phoenix Tower? I heard that a dead dragon went there and was reborn as a phoenix.
Gypsy: The evil warlock Enuo tried to use the power of the Void to make the world his... Instead, the Void engulfed him!
Gypsy: A strange bird wandered through town a while back.
Gypsy: I'm fairly certain there's a piano somewhere in this town... Not that anyone plays it anymore...

At the Pub
Gypsy: Appearing and disappearing like a desert mirage... A town where a thousand years pass as if a single day... Not a bad song, eh?
Gypsy: The warlock Enuo was immortal. But he traded his immortality to obtain the Void's power.
Gypsy: Time has returned to our town. That can only mean... ...The Void is trying to return as well!
Gypsy: I hear there's hidden stairwells and monsters in the Phoenix Tower. Try checking the walls.

Pub Basement
Gypsy: I'll give you somethin' good... But not for nothin'! First ya gotta...hmm... ...ya gotta ride around the world on a yellow chocobo! Howzat!? {Actually possible, that. Well obviously, or they wouldn't challenge you like that, right?}

Random House
Gypsy: This town has two merchants in every store.



This place has some surprising items for sale!



As was alluded to earlier, every shop has a hidden second shop as well.



Sometimes finding the back entrances can be tricky, though. This one isn't obvious at all!

Checking barrels pays off sometimes...



♪♪ Piano Lesson 8 ♪♪

Well, good to get THAT out of the way!



This door is strange. It turns the room blue, and you can just close it. It's almost like it leads into the void somehow...



Aww yeah...



♪♪ Mambo de Chocobo ♪♪

Oh hey, it's the Black Chocobo!



We may as well take a joyride on it to Crescent.



♪♪ Tenderness in the Air ♪♪

Where there's towns, there's talking time.

Wandering About
Old Man: A phantom village appearing in the forest? No way, don't be fooled by rumors like that! {Ahahahahaha too late.}
Mid: Guys, a tower suddenly appeared on top of the catapult! It trapped grandpa underground!
Old Woman: There's an ancient poem in this town that goes like so:
'The tower on the left
Is the magic path.
Even if you've got muscles
Enemies just laugh.'
You know, I...I don't even think that technically rhymes.
Woman: What's up with that weird tower? It just appeared out of thin air!
Man: I heard tell a village appeared in the forest, like a mirage... Wonder if it's true.

Sounds like Cid's in trouble! We'd better storm into that tower and help! But first...



"I am the bardiest!" "More like the Bartziest." "S-shut up!"



Finally.



♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

Woo, new song!

If you sing this in battle, you'll find yourself with the strength of the gods.
Learned Hero's Rime!
Sing this in battle, and your level will increase.

Two new songs, even! That means we have all of the Bard songs!



He sure is, bard. He sure is.



Next on our list of places to visit: Faris' pirate cave!



Suddenly Faris hears a cry and goes off to investigate!



Uh, I kinda doubt that...

The others agree with me: Faris has gone bananas.

Lenna: Faris...do you see something?
*Faris turns around*
Faris: Don't you? Syldra's right there...
*Krile steps forward*



♪♪ Nostalgia ~ Sorrows of Parting ♪♪

You can't see it because YET AGAIN they resorted to flickering the sprite instead of using transparency (seriously, WHY!?), but Syldra's there.

Krile: Syldra's your name? Oh, you're such a good girl...
*Faris turns to Krile*
Faris: Krile! You can see her?
*Krile faces Faris*
Krile: Syldra's spirit says she wants to help Faris...
Faris: Eh!?
Krile: Such a kind soul...
*Ghost-Syldra moves up to the group and cries out*
Received the summoned monster Syldra!

Woohoo!



Oh right, talking time again. We're doing a lot of that this time.

Koko: Kweh, kweh! / Krile: She says to take care. Thank you, Koko!
Pirate: Once you get use t'lookin at 'em, chocobos're pretty cute! Wonder when koko's chicks be due?
Pirate: Years ago, me grandpappy fished a small lass from the sea. She kept callin' herself Farifa, so he named 'er Faris. {And the mystery of Faris' name comes to light. Man, wouldn't it be embarrassing if they'd renamed her Salsa instead of Sarissa?}
Pirate: I heard tell that the cap'n wuz really princess o' Tycoon!
Pirate: Ughhh...I still be seasick... I'll soon be tastin' the rainbow...
Old Mna: See? That Boko birdie healed up just fine...fine enough to make himself some kiddies, eh? Heh heh heh!
Pirate: Cap'n! I lurve ye...hic!

Well, that's one more place to visit we can cross off the list. Where to next, I wonder?



♪♪ Go Go Boko! ♪♪

Oh yeah, we were going to do a Chocobo world tour, weren't we? Well, let's go, Boko!



There's only one point of interest on our world tour, and that's visiting Istory Falls from above.



♪♪ Fate in Haze ♪♪
♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

This item is... interesting. Each time you use it, it summons a monster, starting with the most powerful one and going down the list towards the weakest. Eventually it can only summon Chocobo, and you have to return here to restore it. Useful in a pinch.



Received Mirage Vest!

♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

Woot! Mirage Vests give you a single Blink/!Image protection, which never goes amiss!



That was obviously a hint for what we already know. Anyway, back to our mission(s)!



This little spit of land seems otherwise inaccessible by air. Shall we explore?



Gloceana Desert
Enemies: Ankheg, Ammonite, Landcrawler

Turns out it's Gloceana! Lovely.



♪♪ Walking Over Snowy Mountains ♪♪

Oh yeah, Bahamut's waiting for us on top of North Mountain! ...Eh, why not?



♪♪ The Sealed Tome ♪♪

Here comes the pain.



Sweet deal. Bring it, dragon-boy!



♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

This is pretty much going to become Krile's signature battle opener now.



!Zeninage is surprisingly effective, all things considered. In fact, this is more or less the fight in a nutshell: everyone else is highly ineffective while Krile tosses money at Bahamut until he stops being annoying. And by "annoying" I mean "breath-happy". Bahamut spits out pretty much every breath attack known to dragonkind.

Which includes the mother of all breath attacks, Mega Flare. And oddly enough, Shell halves its damage.



♪♪ Victory Fanfare ♪♪

One bout of healing and a single attack later...



♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

Win upon win.



At the far other end of this desert, there's a tower now...



♪♪ The Four Warriors of Dawn ♪♪

Phoenix Tower
Enemies: Lemure, Parthenope, Cherie, Magic Pot

A gimmicky tower, to say the least.



You have to check the walls to find staircases.



Guess wrong and you have to fight the wall!



There are also pots along the walls with Gil in them.



Others are not so much so.



♪♪ Critter Tripper Fritter! ♪♪

This little bastard should look familiar to series long-timers... This is the first appearance of the Magic Pot enemy!



Their gimmick is the same as ever, but with an annoying twist: they either run (1/3rd of the time) or demand yet another Elixir (the other 2/3rds of the time). And oddly enough, YOU WANT THEM TO RUN!



That's why. We'll be saving the rest of the Magic Pots for later, methinks...



I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that Bahamut is awesome.