I've got a Job for you! - Let's Play Final Fantasy V!

♪♪ Reminiscence ♪♪

Here comes massive backstory!

Enuo possessed the power to control the Void. After a long and harrowing battle, the people were able to defeat Enuo with the twelve legendary weapons... However, the Void that Enuo had created could not be erased. As a last resort, the people split the crystals in two. To maintain balance, the world was split in two as well. The Void was sealed within the space between the two worlds-the "interdimensional rift."

So basically the gist of it is that the Nothing started to erase all of Fantasia, and Atreiyu had to defeat it but couldn't, so Bastian named the Childlike Empress and... oh wait, that's the Neverending Story, my bad.



He really did want to return the world to how it used to be...
Ghido: However, without the crystals...
Bartz: The wind's power will never return...
Ghido: Nor will that of the earth, fire, or water.

Plot-wise, anyway. In battle the spells all still work just fine, thank you.



You are such a baby, Krile. It's just a splinter! It's not like you've been possessed by the greatest evil known to mankind!



♪♪ The Evil Lord Exdeath ♪♪

...Oh goddamn it, not again. Don't you EVER die!? I swear, you're worse than Seymour in Final Fantasy X!

Exdeath: Mwa-hahahaha... I turned myself into a tiny splinter, waiting for just this moment! Now you can understand my true goal: to take the sealed power of the Void for my own!
Bartz: What!?
Exdeath: Why do you think I merged the worlds together? Mwa-hahahahahahahaha!!!

I'd rather know HOW you pulled it off, to be honest. Doesn't seem like it should be that easy.



Suddenly the cave starts to shake!



What the helling hell is THAT!? It's right over Tycoon!



Faris: Wait-so in plain English, you're saying that this Void whatevernot is coming here?
Exdeath: Yes... The Void shall be released from its thousand year prison and into my keeping! The matchless power of the Void will be mine!
*Bartz steps up to Exdeath*
Bartz: Not a chance, Exdeath!

Is it time for another Exdeath smackdown?



Oh COME ON! Does this guy just get stronger every time we kick his ass or something!?



Bartz is a slow learner.



Faris: Lenna!

Oh yeah, the last quarter of our quartet is in danger!



That looks bad.



Very bad.



Holy crap! Where once there was Tycoon, there is now just a gaping hole in the world!



watch as it engulfs all in its path! And soon, it will belong to me!
Faris: Lenna... Exdeath, you...!
*Exdeath launches a bolt at Faris, knocking her back into Bartz, who catches her*
*The three all step forward to fight Exdeath, but he just blasts them all with light and knocks them all down, Garland-style*

Shut up, Exdeath.



I don't think so. You've forgotten one very important thing...



We've got TURTLE POWER!



And how!



The two clash for a bit.



Ghido: You think I sat around seven centuries munching on pizza?
Exdeath: Ha ha ha... Perhaps you should have taken the chance... You shall find no such tasty diversions in the afterlife!
*Exdeath begins casting something big and the screen turns red!*



BAM! Everyone was blown off!

Exdeath: Peons! Tremble before my might! Mwa-hahahahaha!

You're becoming a broken record, Exy.



We survived, it seems. But Ghido's on his back again.

Bartz: Ghido! You okay!?
*Bartz and the others flip the turtle over again*
Ghido: Exdeath, that cur... He must be stopped before he obtains the full power of the void, or- Hmm?
*Ghido jumps over Bartz*
Ghido: By Jove, what's that!?
Bartz: Just the Library of the Ancients...
Ghido: THE fabled Library of the Ancients? my dear boy, have you any idea what an important place that is!? Oh, of course you don't... To think that the Library of the Ancients was here the whole time...
Ghido: Follow close, children! Within the Library is a book which describes how to defeat Exdeath!
*Ghido hurries forward*

Sounds like we landed in an opportune spot, then!



♪♪ The Ancient Library ♪♪

We were expected!

Ghido: Oho, scholars from Surgate.
Scholar: We've been able to find the second half of the Sealed Tome!
Ghido: Perfect!

And things are going well!



Whoa! I didn't know the staircase did THAT!



Strategy time!



♪♪ The Four Warriors of Dawn ♪♪

No, really?

Also, the Void is trying to break free from where it has been sealed within the Rift!
Bartz: Then we'd better hurry there and stop it!
*Ghido shakes his head*
Ghido: Bartz, Bartz, Bartz... so enthusiastic and yet so stupid. Along with the Void, many fearsome monsters were sealed in the Rift a millenium ago. They are all incredibly evil, and incredibly strong. I feel safe in saying that as you are now, you kids wouldn't stand a chance.
Bartz: Then, what do we do?
Ghido: Elementary, my dear Bartz; the legendary weapons use to defeat the warlock Enuo a thousand years ago!
Bartz: Legendary weapons?
*Ghido hops*
Ghido: Sometimes I wonder if you say things like this to spite me... Yes, the twelve legendary weapons. They are weapons. They are legendary. There are even twelve of them. Now that we have both halves of the Sealed Tome, if all goes according to legend-and I'm certain it will-the book will show us the way.



The Sealed Tome is reunited!

♪♪ The Sealed Tome ♪♪

*The screen tints blue*
Bartz: The book...!?
Ghido: It is written: 'When Nothing's power again does peak, To Light Warriors this book shall speak.'
The book begins to speak...
After Enuo's defeat, the weapons of legend were sealed within the Castle Kuza. To break the seals, the four tablets must be assembled.
One rests alongside the spirits of the past, blessed by the soil...
One rests within an island shrine, kissed by the wind...
One rests beneath the ocean's floor, engulfed by flames...
One rests beyond the river's otrrents, protected by water...
Along with the keys to open the seals-the four tablets-are sealed our servants. If the tablets are moved, our servants will awaken...
The ultimate spells of white and black...
The magic of time and space, Meteor...
The sea king, Leviathan...
and the dragon king, Bahamut...
Present this book unto the gate and the way to the seals will be opened...
*Bartz takes the book*
Received Sealed Tome!

Well, that seems to have nicely outlined about the next dozen updates. Well done, Sealed Book!



♪♪ The Four Warriors of Dawn ♪♪

We are all counting on you.
*Ghido steps up to Bartz*
Ghido: Go and find the first tablet... Blessed by the soil and the spirits of the past... Eureka! It must be the pyramid in the Desert of Shifting Sands! Faris, Krile...and even you, Bartz. You must go at once! The future of the world depends on it!

Well okay, if you insist.

More talking time? Very yes.

Scholar: I wonder, will the world be engulfed in darkness? If so, how shall we read?
Scholar: Hmm... If the two worlds have overlapped, then the sealed castle of Kuza should be located east of Tule.
Scholar: So, on the map, this point is the Library of the Ancients... And when you lay one world over the other like this... I see, fascinating...
Scholar: The crystals were split in two, and the world as well... It really took that much to seal the Void?
Scholar: I've read that there was a town sealed between the dimensions by mistake... A thousand years ago they sold fantastic weapons and magic. Now that the Void has been reappearing, I bet that town is reappearing as well!
Scholar: Professor Cid and Mid went to Crescent Island some time ago, but have yet to return.
Scholar: Once the worlds became one, the Sealed Tome became whole as well.
Scholar: So, Exdeath's true for is that of a tree, and he transformed himself into a splinter as well? Fascinating... ...Evil, yes, but-ahem.
Scholar: The four tablets are protected by gargoyles.
Scholar: All this fighting is just beating a dead horse... Even if we beat Exdeath, the crystals have all been shattered...
Scholar: Accordint to the texts, evil beasts were sealed into the Rift right along with the forests and caves they were living in!
Scholar: Please, stop Exdeath from gaining the powers of the Void!
Scholar: It is written here that 'the Void is the birthplace of Light'... Wonder what that's supposed to mean.



Learned Mana's Paean!

♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

Mana's Paean... This melody's mysterious power increases the magical strength of those who hear it.

Hooray, a new way to warble ourselves into effectiveness!



Ancient Library World Map Area
Enemies: Sleepy, Triffid, Hedgehog, Python, Shadow, Elm Gigas

♪♪ A New World ♪♪

Now normally I'd say "let's go and do this thing!", but quite frankly, this update would be twice as long as it is already if I did that, so we'll leave off here for next time. Yeah, today's update was mostly talking and walking and not a lot of fighting, but that's how it goes sometimes. I can guarantee that next time will have lots of action, though, so don't miss it!


Next time: Into the desert pyramid!

Wait wait wait, so all the problems in this game come from some Enuo back in the past?

Pffffffft.


He's just a random encounter for other RPG teams. Can't see how he's such a big deal here.

I find it highly unfair Lenna doesn't get chucked in a frilly princess dress.

Edward: Worry not, Antlion is tame.

You spoony bard!

Huh, I ended up coming back two days early. Let's check on the FFV LP again and see how much I have to catch up o-

...

Well, arguably he hasn't actually unsealed any of the weapons yet .

So let's move on to a different topic.

One of this things that's always interested me about FFV is how the main character is supposedly Bartz. I say supposedly because like the much despised Vaan, Bartz isn't really the main character. He has like four scenes dedicated to him, and the majority of his backstory is confined to an optional town. Meanwhile, everybody else in his party is far more important than him.

Lenna is definitely the main character of World 1. She's the one who really starts the quest with her decision to search for her father. Along the way she reunites with her long lost sister, uses her position as Tycoon's princess to attempt to save the crystals, and gets a nice scene showing how important Wind Drakes are to her. In the end, after her father's tragic death she decides along with her sister to follow Galuf and Krile to World 2 despite how important she is in World 1. There, she has another episode devoted to her character before pretty much dropping off the plot until World 3.

Galuf, while obviously the main character of World 2, also plays a large role in World 1 where his amnesia is both played for laughs and drama. Once he finally regains his memories though, he returns to World 2, inciting the other party members to follow him. And there they discover that Galuf and his old buddies are major figures of World 2. In any case, throughout World 2 it is Galuf's knowledge and connections that really drive the plot. He knows about the barrier, the Sealed Weapons, Drakenvale, Kelger, and Xezat. And the one thing he does not know (and really couldn't have anyways), the secret of the Forest of Moore, is tremendously important and leads straight to his death. Speaking of his death, it's probably the most important scene of the game; it symbolizes the complete changing of the guard from the Dawn Warriors to the Light Warriors and provides the party with a more personal reason to take down Exdeath. It even makes Gilgamesh pause his usual chatter to mourn. And as we'll find out, just dying won't stop Galuf's involvement in the plot.

Now, Faris. It's her secret backstory that truly plays the largest role in the entire quest, because her relationship to Lenna is the only reason why the party even got past the first step of the journey. Also, her bond with Syldra comes up in a couple of cutscenes, and her skill at piloting lets the party actually use most of the transportation machines they find. But where Faris really shines is in her interactions with Lenna, which really help to flesh out both characters. I'm having a complete brain shutdown right now so I really can't remember if Faris does anything else important before World 3.

Krile. I don't want to talk about the Mary Sue that is Krile, but suffice to say that she's important as soon as she's introduced and never really fades from the spotlight.

Back to Bartz. What's interesting about him, though, is the fact that's he's even along at all. He has to be forced by Boko into helping Lenna, and when the Wind Crystal blesses him he just feels kind of obligated into going along. He never really contributes anything to the party, his secret backstory changes nothing about him (aside from hammering in the point that Bartz is just an ordinary guy), and, well, he's completely unimportant. Sure his father could have been a King in World 2, but if Dorgann returned he wouldn't have met Stella and Bartz wouldn't even have been born. Bartz spends most of the game just following his party members, and his main part in the plot is to be constantly snarked at by just about everyone (with the notable exception of Lix). He really has the weakest reason to go with the party, and it says a lot about him that he goes along anyway.

oh my god why did i just write all of that.

Hey, nothing wrong with armchair character analysis. Really, FF5 marked the start of a short-lived trend in Square games: no single protagonist stealing the limelight.

You can see this all the more clearly with FF6, wherein almost every character gets development, and the role of leading man (or woman) is taken up by at least 4 different characters (Tina, Lock, Edgar, and Celes). They took this even further with Chrono Trigger, letting every character save the optional one have their day in the spotlight as the real starring lead, while Chrono himself pretty much doesn't contribute much of anything. And of course Seiken Densetsu 3 pretty much defines this goal, in that you pick who the protagonist and supporting cast are at the start of that game.

The trend seemed to die out around the time FF7 came out, though you still got glimpses of it for a while (like when Tifa and Cid take over for Cloud at a few points, Zell, Quistis, and Irvine all taking point for Squall at some point, and Steiner and Garnet's occasional spotlight roles too). But from 7 onwards, these were pretty much just momentary "the hero is otherwise occupied" moments, not "this is a different character's chance to be the main character" moments. From FFX onwards, you pretty much never see this happen again (unless you count a very brief bit with Yuna).

The Spoony One has said this before, but for all the screeching by Tidus that FFX is "his story", it's really Yuna's. Tidus is the clueless outside observer, forcing us to view events from his perspective. It's Yuna who has to face this death sentence of a pilgrimage, she's the one who forges a bond with her guardians, and she's the one who not only has to choose someone to die, but who will become the next Sin.

This is NOT his story.

And, as everyone else who has ever heard that argument has said, it becomes his story once Yuna and Tidus switch who becomes the sacrifice. The true answer as to whose story FFX is? It's both Yuna and Tidus'.

Besides, it's not like Tidus was completely non-essential during the Pilgrimage. It's just that his daddy issues, while completely justified and actually pretty interesting, seem a little meh compared to Yuna's problems.

I have to agree that it really is both of their stories. The distinction being that (this is important) it's from Tidus' point of view for the vast majority of the game. We never had a main character acting as omniscient narrator in an FF before FFX, but Tidus' future self adding his own commentary to the proceedings (in what Video Game Recaps uncharitably dubbed "Wankese") does make a difference. It's Yuna's pilgrimage and her story, told from the perspective of an outsider who initially is just a tagalong and eventually becomes central to that story.

It's sort of like what they should have done with Vaan in FF12 but didn't for some reason.

Well, Vaan does influence Ashe into giving up her revenge. That's something at least.

Incidentally, I still find it ridiculous that the random street kid gets the best stats in the game. I mean, yeah, main player character, but sheesh.

FFX is absolutely Tidus's story. Don't forget that very early in the game he finds out Sin, the very monster that is holding the world back, is his dad. Sure, Yuna is having her issues too, but through-out the entire game Tidus is trying to find answers to two questions:

1. Who is his father? His perceptions of the man he's been trying this whole life to best is shattered when he discovers his dad is either a man who atoned for his past life or a monster responsible for the deaths of potentially thousands. Which of those images is his father? Can it possible be both?

2. How does he stop Sin? The first half is him helping Yuna because he knows the longer Sin lives, the more Yuna will suffer. The second half is him trying to prevent her from sacrificing herself. Say what you want about Yuna, but I think if you took Tidus out of the picture, she would have died and let someone else take on the mantle of Sin.

- Eddie

Part XVII - That's Not Pharaoh!

Last time the gang found themselves at what appeared to be their home world, returned to Tycoon, left again, and discovered that things have actually gotten a whole lot worse. Now the worlds are merged, Exdeath is on the warpath, Tycoon is a gaping hole in the world, and their best hope is to head into the desert to retrieve some sort of tablet.



♪♪ A New World ♪♪

On the way, the remains of the Forest of Moore are spotted!

Faris: The forest is beginning to come back to life...
*Krile looks down*
Krile: Grandpa... Why can't Grandpa come back to life?
*Faris and Bartz look down too*
Faris: Lenna...Papa...
Bartz: So many lives have been lost...
*They all look up and Krile walks down to the other two*
Krile: We must stop Exdeath. The people around the world need us... No, not only the poeple, but all life...
Faris: Aye...so many sacrifices have been made already... I won't stand by while more lives are lost!
Bartz: Let's go...so there won't be any more sacrifices.
*Everyone nods*

That was bittersweet, huh?

(Today's update is in Grape Purple. Again, just 'cause.)



*Krile and Faris walk down*
Krile: I guess now that both sets of crystals have shattered, there's not enough power in the earth for it to move...
Faris: Even the ground is getting unstable...

Alright, no more sand maze bullcrap! Er, yeah, I guess the whole "rotting earth" bit is bad, but who cares?

Ex-Shifting Sands Area
Enemies: Desertpede, Bulette



Before we get to the pyramid, let's make a slight detour to Moore Village.



♪♪ Tenderness in the Air ♪♪

Naturally, this means talking time.

Walking Around
Old Man: From desire ofttimes comes evil...
Old Man: The Forest of Moore disappeared!

In the Pub
Woman: The forest's turned into a desert...
Man: Did you hear? The forest is coming back, starting from the Guardian Tree! I'm so glad!
Man: Ah, Ghido is all right? Thank goodness.
Man: I went to the desert the other day, and saw this strange building... I wonder what it is?
Old Man: Something big is happening to the world, that's for certain!

That shed they're talking about sounds interesting. Let's explore!



Oh bloody hell, it's a maze, isn't it?



An annoying maze, too. Here's a shot of it with the background off just to show you how annoying.



Anyway, the Crystal Crew made their way through okay.

...Or else just very lucky. How's this: I'll let you decide. Think you're brave? Take what's in the crate on the left. If you're a coward, take what's in the one on the right. What's it gonna be?

This is an important decision. Let's look at the pros and cons of each choice, shall we?

Brave Blade
Pros:
* Has 150 effective attack power, the highest in the game (excluding a few bonus dungeon bragging rights reward weapons)
* Grants +5 to Strength as well, boosting critical hit rate on top of everything else
Cons:
* Loses attack power every time you run from battle
* Only Knights can equip it

Chicken Knife
Pros:
* Gains 1 point of attack per time you run, up to 127
* Grants +5 to Agility, making the wielder noticeably faster
* Can be equipped by most classes
Cons:
* Triggers Flee 25% of the time instead of attacking (this can be avoided with certain commands like Aim, or by giving it to a Berserker)

The Brave Blade is a mark of pride for die-hard players who refuse to run from any fight. Having a 150 attack power Brave Blade shows that they're too proud to run from any fight. So far, I have run from exactly 0 fights, so it is at absolute maximum power, while the Chicken Knife is at absolute minimum power. The decision is obvious.



Because I'm that awesome.



Skele-boy here doesn't think much of my courage, but screw him.



♪♪ A New World ♪♪

Back into the desert, it's time to go pyramid spelunking.



♪♪ Slumber of Ancient Earth ♪♪

Looks imposing, all right.



♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

And right away we have a boss fight. This boss has a gimmick where, if you kill one and not the other, the enemy fully revives.



Fortunately, that's not a problem for Team Awesome.



The book's moving on its own!?

The relevant page flies out and catches fire!



And we can go in!



Pyramid
Enemies: Lamia Queen, Rajiformes, Ushabti, Archeosaur, Zephyrus, Mummy, Aspis, Mecha Head, The Damned, Grand Mummy, Steel Fist, Sekhmet

This place is a maze full of tricks and traps, as well as troves of treasures.



There are a LOT of trap chests here.



♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪

Bartz' !Animals is proving remarkably ineffective. But that's not surprising. It's randomizer-based, and as we've established, I have the Anti-Luck.



He did manage to summon a Flying Squirrel, at least. That's a step up. Naturally it did nothing.



Then he got lucky and summoned a Falcon. It tickled slightly.



The way forward was blocked by a mummy in a coffin!



The result was a Grand Mummy, who Bartz managed to gobsmack this time for 4500 damage via a Falcon.



Inside is an awesomely powerful item with a huge drawback: it causes Doom status to whomever wears it!



Stepping into this room results in an immediate battle with released Asps!



Stupid The Damned can use Doom, but they don't start with enough MP to use it!



In the end, we get our skill.

Doom (10 MP) - Places a 30-second timer on an enemy, which kills them when it hits 0.



Incidentally, !Zeninage is a lifesaver here.

At last Bartz mastered the Ranger job! Now he's going to show you just what a !Rapid Fire Brave Blade assault can do. That may not look impressive, but most weapons do about 100 damage to those enemies right now.



It's far more obvious just how much !Rapid Fire hurts against this Archeosaur. 4800 damage overall per round from Bartz using Rapid Fire is nothing to scoff at.



I hate this room. Every encounter here is a Machine Head.



They like to fire Missiles and use Flame Throwers.



They also like to die to !Rapid Fire assaults.



Oh, and they use Wave Cannon sometimes. Did I mention I hate this room?



There's a lot of wandering enemies in this room, and another Mummy fight too.



Fun Fact: Mummies hate coins to the crotch! Beyond them is the Thornlet. And now our Awful Set is complete! The default "Optimum" equipment for most classes now is Excalipoor, Thornlet, Bone Mail, and Cursed Ring. The first does piss-poor damage, the second causes permanent Sap status (ie. HP drains constantly), the third makes the wearer undead, and the fourth puts them in Doom. Optimum is now officially useless and will be set to Empty instead.



Mid-dungeon save points are always a welcome sight.



Rooms like this always have traps...



Plenty of 'em.



This guy is the bane of perfectionists. He has a very rare item available for stealing.



Usually, however, you'll nab a Hi-Potion instead.



This was such an insane pain in the butt to nab. Yes, I did have to make Faris a Thief for the duration. It was that nasty to steal.



but my brother in the tower will-gahhh!

And now that he's defeated, he will NEVER APPEAR AGAIN. See what I mean about perfectionist's bane? Theoretically he'll flee occasionally, but it's not that common an occurrence. If you're insanely patient, however, you can coax him into fleeing every time and nab yourself 3 Thief's Gloves after about 258,586 hours worh of effort.

...Yeah, most just kick his ass and never look back.

These guys are chest exclusives! And if I remember right, they have a nifty item available for stealing, too. I killed them too fast to find out.



This floor has a lot of sand falls. Naturally you want to shut them off before trying to cross.



If you don't...



...You end up on the floor below. That said, this is the only way to reach that specific chest.



Always hit the far switch. If you don't...



Oops!



Did I mention this place has a lot of tricks and traps?



This floor will look familiar to anyone who's been to the Cave to the Sealed Gate in FF6. Same basic principle: step where it's safe or fall to the floor below.



Which we do anyway.



It's the only way to reach this chest!



Not much further up, we finally reach the top of this tricksy pyramid! And...!



That it is!



♪♪ The Sealed Tome ♪♪

Suddenly the floor shakes!



And rises!

...Huh?

Curious indeed!



More sinking land? Also, wasn't that where we parked the airship before?



Thank you, Captain Obvious.



Suddenly a badass dragon appears!



Oh shit!

*Krile freaks out and runs back over to Bartz and Faris*
*The skies darken*
Bahamut: I will await thee at the summet of North Mountain...
*The party watches as Bahamut flies off; unseen by the player, of course*
*Faris steps to the side of Bartz*
Faris: Look! 'Tis the airship!

Whew, don't have to battle Bahamut just yet!



The airship is sailing over to us! Convenient!



♪♪ A New World ♪♪

Anyway, let's go. We'll have to pass through the Forest of Moore's remains to get there. As we walk through, suddenly a wind drake cries out!



I heard it, yes.



It had Lenna!

Faris: Lenna!
*Everyone gathers around her*



Lenna: ... ... ... This body is mine!!!

Oh shit, bodysnatcher!



She just BURNED us!

Faris: Lenna!!!
Bartz: What the-
♪♪ The Evil Lord Exdeath ♪♪
Beast sealed between dimensinos for a millennium... Go forth, Melusine!



Doesn't that guy EVER quit?

*Exdeath glides around to the front of the party, where the tree is; everyone faces him*
Exdeath: Mwa-ha-ha! All that was once sealed in the Rift is now mine to command!
*Flame sounds and red flashing!**The party falls over as Lenna advances!*
Bartz: Ghk...
Faris: Lenna...stop, please...
Krile: Lenna...
*More flame sounds and red flashing!*
Exdeath: Mwa-hahahahaha! Face destruction at your friend's hands!
*The screen slowly turns red!*
*Exdeath warps off*
Bartz: Exdeath!
Exdeath: Mwa-ha-ha... Now, watch as I take care of a turtle infestation!

This is getting worse by the minute.



Another void hole opens! This time over the Library of the Ancients!



And everyone within is sucked into the void!



Yet another hole in reality... That can't be healthy for the planet.

The power of the Void will completely be mine, and the entire earth will kneel before me! Mwa-hahahahahahaha!!!
*Exdeath warps off again*
Bartz: Le...Lenna... Stop...

Who can save us now?



The wind drake can!



The demon is expelled from Lenna's body!

Great, another sacrifice. Still, that's something!



Boss fight time!



♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

Zeninage is useless here, sadly.



Carbuncle, however, is not.



And !Rapid Fire rips Melusine a new one.



Amusingly, Reflect just makes Melusine heal herself. But better healing her than damaging me!



♪♪ Victory Fanfare ♪♪

It didn't take long to beat her ass in. Incidentally, for some reason her steal is a Leather Armor...



Lenna: Bartz... I...
Faris: Lenna!!!
Lenna: Sister... Krile... The castle... We were...the darkness...it-
Faris: We know. Don't try to speak.
Lenna joined the party!

Woohoo, reunion!



She comes back to us unconscious, of course. But that's easy enough to fix.



On the way to the airship, we come across... Surgate Castle?



♪♪ Castle of Dawn ♪♪

Yep! And there's new talking times to be had here, too!

Entrance
Guard: This is Surgate Castle! We will stop at nothing to defend it!
Guard: I can't believe the Library of the Ancients is gone, just like that... Luckily, most of the scholars were able to get to the castle, and just in time, too!

Throne Room
Scholar: We're the only ones who were able to return to Surgate Castle...
Scholar: Please, stop Exdeath from gaining the powers of the Void!
Guard: If Exdeath figures out how to control the Void, the world is doomed.

Barracks
Guard: What in the world is that giant mass of black stuff? Creeps me out!
Guard: It's all over...it's the end of the world...We're all done for!

Such optimists here. Anyway, that's enough visiting here. Nothing else is new.

It's serious discussion time on board the airship!

*Krile hops on the foremast and walks down it, raising her arm*
Krile: Hurry! It won't be much longer before Exdeath gains the power of the Void!
Faris: But Ghido said we hadn't the power to fight him and win...
*Krile turns around and Bartz steps between Lenna and Faris*
Bartz: We'll need the twelve legendary weapons. They're in the sealed castle of Kuza... Come on, let's go!

Plan set!



♪♪ The Evil Lord Exdeath ♪♪

But even as the party sets out, Exdeath's machinations are being put into action!

Power of the Void! Reveal your true self!!!



Lightning is shooting out there. Yet again they resorted to rapid flickering instead of transparency for no good reason...



That, however, is easy enough to screencap...



Suddenly Walse is consumed by the void!



And Istory too! ...Why Istory?



Really? I hadn't noticed.

*Bartz jumps onto the mainmast and raises his arms*
Bartz: Exdeath! Stop!!!

Oh that was stupid of you, Bartz. Now he's gonna make it personal.


Krile! Kupokupooo!

Great, now the Moglies are all dead. Nice job breaking it, hero.



Bartz! Help!!!

And Lix is gone too. See what happens when you beg with the lord of all evil?

Personally, I think Lix looks better like that.



Faris: Even a tiny place like Bartz's hometown, Lix...
Krile: That...to go that far is...

Guys? Bartz is not taking this well? Can we stop talking about what just happened before he does something monumentally stupid?



Bartz: Aughhh!!!

Yeah, like that.



Bartz starts taking a super-fast shaky joyride in one direction over the world!



Oddly enough, that works.



♪♪ A New World ♪♪

So, here we are at Kuza. From now on the airship has this INSANELY ANNOYING whir sound of the propellers when we fly it, too. I'll be unsealing 3 weapons of your (yes, your!) choice next time, so place your votes now! Oh, and class/grind votes if you want, I guess.

Current Stats
Bartz: Level 37
Jobs: Knight L4 (76/150), Thief L7 (MASTERED!), Ninja L4 (MASTERED!), Ranger L4 (MASTERED!), Mystic Knight L6 (9/400), White Mage L2 (0/30), Black Mage L2 (2/30), Blue Mage L2 (9/70), Bard L1 (8/50), Dancer L2 (71/325)
Abilities: !Guard, !Flee, !Steal, !Mug, !Smoke, !Image, !Throw, !Animals, !Aim, !Rapid Fire, !Check, !Hide, !Flirt, !Dance, !Spellblade L5, !White L2, !Black L2, Equip Shields, Equip Bows, Artful Dodger, Two-Handed, Dual-Wield, Cover, Learning, Magic Shell, Vigilance, First Strike, Find Passages, Sprint

Lenna: Level 35
Jobs: Knight L0 (8/10), Monk L7 (MASTERED!), Thief L2 (0/30), Ninja L4 (31/450), Berserker L1 (5/400), Ranger L4 (MASTERED!), White Mage L5 (5/100), Black Mage L5 (0/100), Summoner L4 (0/100), Red Mage L1 (3/40), Geomancer L2 (MASTERED!), Dancer L1 (43/50)
Abilities: !Focus, !Chakra, !Flee, !Smoke, !Image, !Throw, !Animals, !Aim, !Rapid Fire, !Check, !Gaia, !Flirt, !White L5, !Black L5, !Summon L4, !Red L1, Equip Bows, HP +10%, HP +20%, HP +30%, Barehanded, Counter, Berserk, First Strike, Find Passages, Light Step, Find Pits

Krile: Level 37
Jobs: Knight L3 (2/100), Monk L4 (4/100), Thief L1 (8/20), Samurai L4 (240/540), Berserker L1 (0/400), Ranger L3 (175/405), White Mage L6 (131/300), Blue Mage L4 (MASTERED!), Red Mage L3 (335/999), Beastmaster L2 (17/100), Bard L3 (MASTERED!)
Abilities: !Guard, !Focus, !Chakra, !Mineuchi, !Zeninage, !Animals, !Aim, !Check, !Scan, !Calm, !Control, !Hide, !Sing, !White L6, !Red L3, !Blue, Equip Katanas, Equip Bows, Equip Harps, Barehanded, Two-Handed, Cover, Counter, Shirahadori, Learning, Berserk, Find Passages

Faris: Level 37
Jobs: Knight L3 (1/100), Thief L4 (7/75), Dragoon L3 (MASTERED!), Samurai L2 (0/60), Ranger L3 (215/405), Black Mage L3 (3/50), Time Mage L5 (3/100), Summoner L5 (84/500), Blue Mage L2 (2/70), Beastmaster L3 (MASTERED!), Chemist L3 (87/135), Geomancer L3 (MASTERED!), Dancer L1 (43/50)
Abilities: !Guard, !Flee, !Steal, !Jump, !Lance, !Mineuchi, !Zeninage, !Animals, !Aim, !Check, !Calm, !Control, !Catch, !Mix, !Drink, !Gaia, !Flirt, !Black L3, !Time L5, !Summon L5, Equip Lances, Equip Bows, Equip Whips, Two-Handed, Pharmacology, Cover, Learning, Find Passages, Light Step, Find Pits, Sprint

Next time: Wanderlust takes hold as we re-visit just about everywhere and get a series long-timer summon in our ranks!

Can we get a list of the weapons again?

but isn't Doom status super-useful with Bone Plate's Undead?

Absolutely! In fact, I'll give a more detailed report on each.

Excalibur - 107 attack power, holy-elemental (Knight only)
Holy Lance - 106 attack power, Strength +3, holy-elemental (Dragoon only)
Masamune - 104 attack power, guaranteed first strike; casts Haste when used as an item (Samurai only)
Yoicih's Bow - 98 attack power, Strength +3, Agility +3; 30% critical hit rate (Ranger only)
Sasuke's Katana - 96 attack power, Agility +1, randomly blocks attacks (Ninja only)
Fire Lash - 79 attack power, Strength +2, Agility +2, randomly casts Firaga when attacking but non-elemental otherwise (Beastmaster only)
Assassin's Dagger - 78 attack power, randomly causes instant death (most classes can equip it)
Rune Axe - 63 attack power, Magic +3; gets a bonus to damage dealt from Magic; uses MP to perform critical hits (Berserker only)
Sage's Staff - 50 attack power, boosts Holy-elemental attacks; deals 8x damage to undead; casts Raise when used as an item (White Mage only)
Apollo's Harp - 42 attack power, non-elemental magical damage; 8x damage to dragons and undead (Bard only)
Magus Rod - 37 attack power, deals Fire/Ice/Lightning damage; boosts Fire/Ice/Lightning/Poison-elemental spells (non-White mages only)
Gaia's Bell - 32 attack power, earth-elemental; 25% chance of casting Earthquake when attacking, boosts Earth-elemental attacks by 50% (Geomancer only)

It might be. I'd have to test that to be sure. EDIT: Nope. Both Doom and the Cursed Ring still kill the inflicted character upon reaching 0.

Why would you ever choose these, aside from being voted to do so by your LP audience?

I wouldn't, of course. But I want to give you the option to give me awful weapons. It hardly matters much now that we have the Brave Blade. That + !Rapid Fire is pretty much a !Win command for most fights.

They're pretty much there to make you hate the game if you're doing a four-class challenge. Much like most of the mid-to-late game content, really. I'm seriously considering just dropping off—after uploading a save so someone else has the option of showcasing just how awful Knight/Summoner/Bard/Samurai is, late-game.

I haven't checked this myself, and it's still an Axe, but that's something.