I've got a Job for you! - Let's Play Final Fantasy V!

Hey, who hasn't thought Krile an evil little Mary Sue at some point?

Really? Nice. A pity Galuf didn't have that at the time...

Indeed. They're clearly lampshading the Sealed Evil in a Can trope. Of course one could argue that, due to conservation of detail, of course seals mentioned during the plot always break at some point. If the seal were to remain intact, frequently there wouldn't be any story to tell!

Late edit:

I'm surprised nobody made any mention about this one. I guess I was just hooked on a feeling and high on believing that someone would figure it out before me.

See if you can put Krile a step closer to !Doublecast. And for not-grinding, have her as a white mage because d'awww. :3

Galuf's sacrifice is pretty much the best moment ever. Imagine an old man getting up after having his ass beaten and (almost) incapacitating a rankled evil tree spirit. I'll never get tired of seeing that moment.

Now you are obligated to have Krile throws gil at Exdeath.

Oh trust me, she's going to be hitting Exdeath harder than anyone else. Hell, she might even heal his ass just so she can hurt him more.

"Hurt me MORE, Snake old man little girl!"

That would be hilarious. Now I want to see a variant of the final battle where Krile solos him as revenge for grandpa. Prove the power of the Mary Sue!

Part XV - It's the Final Countdown

Last time the party finally found Ghido the Sage, were sent off to the Forest of Moore, and... things didn't go well. Now they're off to avenge Galuf (with Krile's help), and are ready to storm Exdeath's castle!



After a bit more grinding, naturally. I don't know why anyone would ever want to master the Dancer class, so I veto'd that in favor of working on making the party more effective. Sorry!

(Today's update is in Vengeful Red. Are you really surprised?)



So now they're rewhat the hell!? What are you idiots DOING!? Get out of those ridiculous get-ups this damn minute!



Thank you. Damn kids these days, no respect for their elders...

Ah, you're probably wondering why they're all freelancing it.



Because we're gonna toast a turtle, baby!



♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

The fight goes much better when !Time is on your side.



♪♪ Victory Fanfare ♪♪

Repeated Shiva and 1000 Needle barrages win the day! The reward is paltry, of course (5,000 Gil won't even pay for the Ethers used to keep the party going), but it's a completionist thing.



And now we'll WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Oh alright FINE. If you want to (literally) waltz into Exdeath's castle like that, be my guest. Don't come crying to me when you end up a smear on the castle floor, though.



♪♪ Castle of Dawn ♪♪

Since we're in Bal, let's find out what's new.

In the Courtyard
Soldier: Noooo!!! I can't believe the king is gone!
Soldier: I hate that Exdeath!
Soldier: Lady Krile! Please, take care of yourself!

In the Foyer
Soldier: No-King Galuf couldn't be- Oh no...

In the Throne Room
Soldier: We'll protect the castle untile Lady Krile returns!

In the Bedrooms
Old Man: Lady Krile... The king will always live on within your heart... {And within her belt, oddly enough.}
Woman: I can't believe the king is... Lady Krile... My sympathies. You must stay strong!
Moogle: Krile... Cheer up, kupo! {Yes, we can understand the Moogle now. Mostly because Krile is in the party.}



♪♪ Harvest ♪♪

How ironic-the oldest and weakest of the four is the only one who still lives...

Kelger is pretty heartbroken, but who can blame the guy? Imagine if all of your best friends whom you went on a life-changing journey with all died, half of them within the span of a single week.



♪♪ Castle of Dawn ♪♪

So, that depressing thought out of the way, our world tour continues with Surgate Castle!

In the Throne Room
Soldier: We have no one left to depend on but you... Please, defeat Exdeath!

Barracks
Soldier: The king is...dead? *sob*
Soldier: Oww... I hurt all over...
Soldier: Was the attack on the barrier tower successful? Dang it! I should've been there. If only I hadn't been wounded...
Soldier: He went out like a true king... valiant to the end.



And a brief stop in at Moore Village, just 'cause.

Walkin' Around
Old Man: To think that what was sealed in the Forest of Moore was the crystals!
Woman: Exdeath has returned... Oh no, not the nightmare again, after thirty years of peace...

That about covers all affected parties. So, enough delays! We're off to storm the castle!



♪♪ Unknown Lands ♪♪

Of course, with this party it'd take a miracle, but we'll try our best.



♪♪ Castle of Dawn ♪♪

Whoa! Looks like we weren't the only ones who got the idea to storm the castle!

Soldier: Exdeath just waltzed through. We were completely powerless against him...
Soldier: Sock Exdeath one for us!
Soldier: Urgh...so strong...
Soldier: We couldn't do a thing...

Damn! Guess it's up to us, then. But, uh, we kinda already knew that anyway, so yeah.



Oh yeah, before I forget... (This is the ONLY way to get a Spear. They're useless, but hey.)



There's healing springs hidden in Exdeath's Castle! That's surprisingly charitable of him.

Huh. Dead end.



I just said that, Bartz!



Krile: No, there is... All of this is an illusion created by Exdeath.
Lenna: What? Are you certain?
*Krile turns around and nods, then looks down*
Krile: Grandpa, give me strength...



♪♪ Reminiscence ♪♪

Yeah, we came and told you that earlier. What, you didn't believe it 'til one of your wolf buds told you?

Dorgann, Xezat, and Galuf have all shuffled off this mortal coil... *cough cough* I fear I haven't much longer, either...
*The other wolves close in*
Lord Kelger!
*Kelger turns on his side*
Kelger: It's nearing the time for that longest of rests...

He's quite the optimist, huh?



Ghost-Galuf, oddly enough! (Stupid flickering sprites. Why did Square refuse to use transparency for FF5!?)

...Galuf? Galuf, is it you? Krile is...?
*Ghost-Galuf nods and spirits off*
Kelger: Galuf... Understood.
*Kelger nods a few times*
Kelger: Everyone... Lend me your strength!
Lord Kelger!
Kelger: Let us rend the illusion Exdeath has created!
*Kelger looks at his wolf buds*
Kelger: This is my last wish and last command. Send all your power to Exdeath's castle!



And then he dies. So ends the legacy of the Warriors of Dawn.



Bartz: It must be Kelger!



Everything's gone green!

Krile: Everyone's power...
*The castle starts shaking!*



♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

HOLY CRAP! You need to fire your interior decorator, Exdeath. Skulls, flames, and walls made of crawling flesh went out of season YEARS ago!



♪♪ Exdeath's Castle ♪♪

Anyway, now we can move on. It's the final countdownshowdown, just ahead!



There's new baddies to fight now and a new environment too!



The dragon gave us a new skill (unwittingly)! I won't bother describing it since I'm sure you can read what it says there.



Sword Dance, by the way, is ludicrously effective now that we've got some decent levels behind us and equipment in hand.



Dancing in this fight is such a bad idea I cannot even begin to tell you. When confused, the cloaked guys cast Break and Death... at the Reflect Mage. Who has Reflect on (duh). Pretty obvious results. Oh, and Reflect Mages only use magic, even when confused.



DO NOT DANCE IN THIS FIGHT!

I'd just like to remind you all that !Dance is random in what it does. I have the Anti-Luck, and you made me play host to 3 Dancers. You must hate me an awful lot to do something like that to me.



Oh dear, damage bog. Well, better put on that Geomancer skill.



As if my luck-based mission wasn't bad enough with 3 dancers, now I have to play roulette with a moving floor too!



I did good.



And got punished for it. FUCK!



♪♪ Requiem ~ Game Over ♪♪

I would like to remind all of you that this is YOUR fault.



So instead we'll opt for Team Isn't Dependent on the Goddamn Randomizer.



Suck it, dragons.



Another prize for being awesome!



Oops.



Oh you fucker.



I have never been so thankful to see a save point before in my life. Cottage it up, crew!



That looks familiar... A summon, of course!



Oh not more of THIS...



What the...?

Oh, THAT'S how you get over there. Okay.



Bring it!



♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

One of THESE sorts, eh?



The gimmick here is that he has Reflect and huge defense, as well as massive evasion. Oh, and in case you thought summons might be a good idea, he's also got massive magic defense too.



Shurikens, as ever, ignore defense and thus are awesome.



♪♪ Victory Fanfare ♪♪

It's a little tough, but not nearly tough enough to keep US down!



♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

Received the summoned monster, Carbuncle!

Thanks, jackass.



Another welcome save point! Time to gear up and get this done!



Well that was unexpected.



Hey, it's Gilgamesh!



Gilgamesh: Ha ha! Looking for something? Well, guess what? I already took the treasure! Ohh, you guys are sooo burned!
*Bartz and Gilgamesh do a little dancin' before they collide for fighting times!*



♪♪ Clash on the Big Bridge ♪♪

"Hey, no fair halving levels!" "Hahaha! Karma's a bitch, innit?"



(He used an attack called Dancehall Daze on Lenna, and put her to sleep. Damn speedy text boxes!)



"Eat coin, ass!" "Agh, not in the crotch!"

"This one's for my grandpa!" "What are you even talking about, you weird child!?"



I must say, I quite enjoy these tussles. I feel we've gained an understanding...
*He smacks Faris*
...an understanding that I will pound you silly! Ha ha!



"Jeez, this guy's nastier than usual." "Leave Lenna alone, you jerk!"



what happened to that spry old fellow?
Krile: He...he fought Exdeath, and...
Gilgamesh: ...I see.



"That's for bring up that painful memory, you jackass!" "Hey, as long as you're not tossing coins at my crotch, I can take it."



"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"



Now we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men! For Gilgamesh...it's morphing time!

"We already DID a Power Rangers joke, Gilgamesh. Get with the times!" "Shut up!"



Oh shit.



"Big, small, you get coin to the crotch either way." "Just for that, I'm killing you first."



Let's see how good this Excalibur really is!

Oh crap. Good thing I cast Golem!



Uh...



"Have a crotch shuriken!" "Damn it, what is it with you people and throwing metal at my crotch!?"



"Nice steal!" "Give that BACK!"



"You couldn't hit the broad side of a castle!" "This sword sucks!"



"Are you hoping we'll die of laughter, Gilgy?" "Rgh!"

"More coins for your crotch!" "I hate you all."



"And how!" "You don't have to rub it in..."



"Ohh yes! I have the POWER!" "And now I have the crotch arrows! WHY CAN'T YOU AIM FOR MY HEAD YOU SICK FREAKS!?"



I feel so betrayed!

"Here, try this Broadsword, it might do more damage." "Haha fuck you too."



"Here, money in your crotch will make you feel better." "Why do I keep fighting you people? I can't even remember any more."



♪♪ The Evil Lord Exdeath ♪♪

Oh snap. Look whose here to ruin all our fun.

Gilgamesh: Erk!



For your continued bungling, I banish you from this dimension!
Gilgamesh: Wh-what!? No! Anything but that!
Exdeath: Silence!



Gilgamesh: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Welp, that's the last we'll ever see of him, I guess.



♪♪ Victory Fanfare ♪♪

Who cares, we win! And we get Excalipoor too! Onwards!

♪♪ The Evil Lord Exdeath ♪♪

Okay, let's do this thing.

*Bartz steps forward*
Bartz: Exdeath! No way we'll let you get away with this!
*Exdeath walks closer*
Exdeath: Mwa-hahahaha... Have you any idea what I plan to get away with in the first place?
Bartz: Wha? No, but...
Exdeath: You all fight so fiercely, yet have no idea of the truth... Hmph. I will return the earth to how it used to be.
*The others walk up*
Bartz: You mean you'll turn it to a world full of evil!
Exdeath: Believe what you wish. Simple-minded fools such as yourselves could never hope to understand my motives! It matters not. I will tolerate no more interruptions!



♪♪ Decisive Battle ♪♪

This will be epic. He just cast that on poor hapless Krile, too. 30 seconds to live...



Meaning Exdeath has 30 seconds to die!



"This is for grandpa!"



"Hahaha, you hit like a bitch, Exdeath."



"He hits less like a bitch than you think, kids. Ow."



"Oh crap!" "This isn't going as well as we thought..."



"I'll never forgive you!"



"I hate you I hate you I hate you!"



"Nooooo! You little hoochies!"

Bartz: They...they're breaking!

Snap oh!



What was it all for!?



Are we just going to burn alive? Is this really the end? No way!



♪♪ Four Valiant Hearts ♪♪

...No way. They lived. And... I know that music!



*Faris walks up to Lenna*
Faris: That's Castle Tycoon...
Lenna: We're back home!?
*Bartz walks up too to get a better look*



Well I'll be DAMNED! We're home! Yes! Come back next time as we discover just what's been going on, and no doubt get our awesome just rewards for beating Exdeath! No grind vote this time, though; this world has crap encounters, after all. Feel free to suggest Jobs to use, though!

Current Stats
Bartz: Level 35
Jobs: Knight L3 (1/100), Thief L7 (MASTERED!), Ninja L4 (MASTERED!), Ranger L3 (326/405), Mystic Knight L6 (9/400), White Mage L2 (0/30), Black Mage L2 (2/30), Blue Mage L2 (9/70), Bard L1 (8/50), Dancer L2 (71/325)
Abilities: !Guard, !Flee, !Steal, !Mug, !Smoke, !Image, !Throw, !Animals, !Aim, !Check, !Hide, !Flirt, !Dance, !Spellblade L5, !White L2, !Black L2, Equip Bows, Artful Dodger, Two-Handed, Dual-Wield, Cover, Learning, Magic Shell, Vigilance, First Strike, Find Passages, Sprint

Lenna: Level 35
Jobs: Monk L7 (MASTERED!), Thief L2 (0/30), Ninja L4 (31/450), Berserker L1 (5/400), Ranger L4 (MASTERED!), White Mage L5 (5/100), Black Mage L5 (0/100), Summoner L4 (0/100), Red Mage L1 (3/40), Geomancer L2 (MASTERED!), Dancer L1 (43/50)
Abilities: !Focus, !Chakra, !Flee, !Smoke, !Image, !Throw, !Animals, !Aim, !Rapid Fire, !Check, !Gaia, !Flirt, !White L5, !Black L5, !Summon L4, !Red L1, Equip Bows, HP +10%, HP +20%, HP +30%, Barehanded, Counter, Berserk, First Strike, Find Passages, Light Step, Find Pits

Krile: Level 35
Jobs: Knight L3 (2/100), Monk L4 (4/100), Thief L1 (8/20), Samurai L4 (240/540), Berserker L1 (0/400), Ranger L3 (175/405), White Mage L4 (47/70), Blue Mage L4 (MASTERED!), Red Mage L3 (335/999), Beastmaster L2 (17/100), Bard L3 (MASTERED!)
Abilities: !Guard, !Focus, !Chakra, !Mineuchi, !Zeninage, !Animals, !Aim, !Check, !Scan, !Calm, !Control, !Hide, !Sing, !White L4, !Red L3, !Blue, Equip Katanas, Equip Bows, Equip Harps, Barehanded, Two-Handed, Cover, Counter, Shirahadori, Learning, Berserk, Find Passages

Faris: Level 35
Jobs: Knight L3 (1/100), Thief L4 (0/75), Dragoon L3 (MASTERED!), Samurai L2 (0/60), Ranger L3 (215/405), Black Mage L3 (3/50), Time Mage L5 (3/100), Summoner L3 (2/60), Blue Mage L2 (2/70), Beastmaster L3 (MASTERED!), Chemist L3 (87/135), Geomancer L3 (MASTERED!), Dancer L1 (43/50)
Abilities: !Guard, !Flee, !Steal, !Jump, !Lance, !Mineuchi, !Zeninage, !Animals, !Aim, !Check, !Calm, !Control, !Catch, !Mix, !Drink, !Gaia, !Flirt, !Black L3, !Time L5, !Summon L3, Equip Lances, Equip Bows, Equip Whips, Two-Handed, Pharmacology, Cover, Learning, Find Passages, Light Step, Find Pits, Sprint

Next time: The fruits of victory!

And you don't have a Holocaust Cloak!

Actually, they do. 3 of 'em. For some reason the game calls them Elven Mantles.

Heck yeah, you're almost up to the point where I left off. I'm gonna try to play along for the last part.

As long as Krile keeps tossing gil at her enemies, I don't really care what Jobs they have. Just keep showing off the crazier skills in their arsenal.

Sounds like it's time for some of the odd commands to shine for a change, then. !Animals, !Flirt, !Hide, and !Mineuchi for the fun times, perhaps?

Yeah, you've already mastered everything I wanted, so I'm just taking away votes from other people if I do so. A lot of those commands I've never actually used, so I'd be fine with those.

Yeah, we need to see what Animals you get at higher levels!

It could be worse. Imagine if you had to rely on !Animals for most of your healing.
Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Fair point. Sounds like next time I'll be showing off just how random !Animals really can be, too. Still, be glad you don't have my luck. If you did, !Animals would spawn nothing but Bee Swarms and Flying Squirrels.

Bartz: He should have a chance to master Ranger before the end credits roll. With Animals, of course.

Lenna: You know how we went to Galuf's world and he turned Samurai? Lenna should be a Knight for her homecoming.

Krile: Same logic as Bartz's job, but with less chance of success: Red Mage!

Faris: When did we let her fall behind on summoning? Summoner!


Exdeath changed to the Dancer class too!

I feel like he's about to summon Lavos...

Krile. White Mage. Always.

Part XVI - You Win Some, You Lose Some

Previously on Final Fantasy V: after the loss of Galuf, the party teamed up with Krile to take on Exdeath (as well as a pesky Gil-hoarding turtle), and actually succeeded in defeating the megalomaniacal evil tree spirit. Then the world exploded or something and they managed to return to the first world.



A few costume changes were in order to celebrate. Lenna, feeling chivalrous, slipped into some Knight attire in celebration of their return. Meanwhile Faris put on her least revealing Summoner's robes. Bartz and Krile were too busy being astounded at their return to bother.

(Today's update is in Gleaming Gold, 'cause we won, right?)



♪♪ Royal Palace ♪♪

Sure enough, the guards are happy to see us.



Wait, how does HE know that's Sarisa?

*Lenna steps forward and nods*
Lenna: Father...he-
Chancellor: The king's passing was a great loss...However, we must do our best to continue on without him.
Chancellor: Additionally, Princess Sarisa has returned, when we thought her dead... It is cause for celebration!
*The chancellor walks down to Faris and pulls her forward next to Lenna*
Faris: Sarisa... My true name...
Chancellor: Yes, my lady.
Faris: The name Papa gave me...



The guards here are pretty pushy sometimes.

*The chancellor steps down to face Krile*
Chancellor: Preparations for the banquet are ready. Of course, your acquaintances are welcome to attend.

Hooray food! We haven't eaten since... huh, back in Quelb. They must be starving.



Chancellor: Come now, Princess!
Faris: *sigh*

Oh come on, Faris, you've worn at least two different clown outfits on your journey. How bad could this one be?



Dayum.

*Bartz freaks out!*
Oh...
She-she's gourgeous!
*Bartz walks down near Faris*
Bartz: Yowza! She really is!



That's hardly appropriate, Bartz.



Naaah.

Bartz: I-I am not!

See? He's just toying with Faris.



♪♪ Waltz Clavier ♪♪

Hey, what's all this? There was supposed to be a banquet, not a dance! I was told there would be cake, and you lied to me!



Krile's bummed too. I bet she was hoping for carrot cake.



Ahahahano. Have you seen Bartz dance? There would be no survivors.



Watch it!

Oops! Sorry!

What is this, a dance floor? ...Okay, it is. Shut up.



Guess we may as well talk to everyone else too.

Woman: Is it true that Princess Sarisa called herself Faris? What a weird name.
Man: I hope Princess Lenna and Princess Sarisa never leave us again! How wonderful it would be if they stayed here with us always!
Woman: The celebratory banquet is to last for three days!
Man: Princess Lenna is pretty, but whoa, Princess Sarisa is a total fox! Grrrowlf!

Clearly we can sum up from this that everything is peachy here in Tycoon and will stay that way forever. Yup. Let's go see Krile.



Still moping. At least she's moved on from cake to dead relatives.

Bartz: Krile...how're you holding up?
*Krile nods*
Krile: All right... It's not so painful anymore, but... I guess I just feel anxious.
Krile: It's like Grandpa is fussing at us to hurry.
*Bartz nods*
Bartz: Mm, I think I get it. Let's check it out.
Krile: Huh? What?
*Bartz looks out over the balcony*
Bartz: We're back in my world. There's gotta be a reason for that, right? Let's find out what it is.
Krile: ...Okay!

Plan SET! Gotta go retrieve our other lady-friends, then.



Oh goddamn it.

Bartz: No way they can slip away, so...
*Krile starts to go back into the room and Bartz pursues*
*Krile looks down, turns around, then goes back to rejoin Bartz*

Yeah, you try getting past a pack of dancers determined to keep you away from someone. You'd need a goddamn dragon or something.



Oh not more talking time...

Foyer
Guard: If only Princess Lenna would stay here...

Side Room
Old Man: As legend has it, a thousand years ago, the skies over Tycoon were rent asunder.

King's Room
King Tycoon's Diary
'X month X day
Today, Sarisa was to have her first ride on Hiryu. Instead, she threw a tantrum...'

Courtyard
Woman: Well, things worked out just find in the end. What a relief! ...But something about the sky seems kind of strange, don't you think? And it's only right above Tycoon...

Yet more reassurances that everything is fine and nothing will ever go wrong again. Hooray!



Are we gonna have a flashback now?

♪♪ Lenna's Theme ♪♪

Jenica: Oh, I remember that time like it was yesterday...

We are!



Pink-toned and everything. I sense impending cuteness.

*Jenica paces a bit*
Sarisa: Cure... Cura... Curaga...
*Jenica walks up to Sarisa's desk*
Jenica: All right, that's enough for today.
Sarisa: Phew... I'm pooped!
Jenica: Your mother has asked you to put Princess Lenna to bed. Take care of that while I mark your test, please.
Sarisa: Okay!
*Sarisa hops out of her chair and makes for the exit; Jenica follows a bit*
Jenica: And come straight back here! No dawdling!
Sarisa: Okay... Aw, man...
*Sarisa leaves*



Lenna: Papa, Papuuu!
Sarisa: Flyin' up high is s'posed t' be the bestest thing ever, Papa says.
Sarisa: An' when you look down on them, all the people're s'posed to look like they cast Float on themselves!
*Sarisa pops a ? bubble*
Sarisa: Wait... Um, not Float, but Toad? Teleport? Uhh... Mini? Yeah, that's it, they look like they were Minied!

Somehow I think she did poorly on that test now.



Well yeah. She is a little kid, they're not known for being punctual.



Looks like Jenica's gonna be waiting for a long time. Also, d'awwww.



Okay, time to go.



Ow, goddamn it! Watch where you're going!



Bridge? West river? What are you even talking about?



Krile: Boko?
Bartz: He's my prized chocobo-and my best friend.
Krile: Oh, really?
Bartz: What, you don't believe me?
Krile: Well, you're so poor at riding wind drakes...
Bartz: Hey! You little-

Never insult Bartz' chocobo skills, Krile!



He'll bodycheck ya.

Krile: Ow! Take this!



Turns out Krile can do a mean bodycheck right back!

Bartz: GHeez, I can't win agains this kid...

You just got owned by a pre-teen in a bunny hood. You should be ashamed of yourself, Bartz.



♪♪ Four Valiant Hearts ♪♪

Sure enough, there's a river here now. Weird. Wait a minute...



What the HELL!? This isn't Bartz' world at all! It's not Krile's either! It's... well, a lot more land-filled than either, really.

We'll just leave the terrestrial oddities behind for now and continue onwards, then.

Boko: Kwehhh!!!



♪♪ Go Go Boko! ♪♪

Yeah yeah, show off your Mary Sue powers.

*Boko jumps and Bartz walks over to Krile*
Bartz: Huh? You speak chocobo, too?
*Krile nods*
Krile: Just a little. I think he wants to introduce us to someone.
*Boko runs back into the cave*

What's all this, then?



Hot damn, Boko! When'd you meet her? And where, for that matter?

Bartz: Boko! You stud, you!
*Koko walks down and nods to Bartz, then steps back up*
Bartz: Listen, Boko, I've got a favor to ask...
Boko: Kweh!
Krile: He says he already knows.
Bartz: Wha?
Krile: He says you're leaving on another journey, right?
Bartz: Boko, is that okay? I know you've got the little woman and all...
*Boko nods and walks up to Koko*
Bartz: What's he saying?
Krile: He says that he loves her...
Bartz: Slick!
Krile: ...And that while he's away, to take care of the babies...
Bartz: Babies!?
*They face the birds*
Krile: Koko has little ones on the way! She says she'll be waiting here for him.
*The birds face the humans*
Bartz: Koko...thanks! Don't worry, we'll come back safe!
Koko: Kweh!
*The birds walk down to the humans and Koko jumps*
*The humans and Boko nod to Koko, then they board Boko*



Yes, Koko is waving goodbye to Boko. It's all very silly.



Anyway, now we can head back north past Tycoon and cross yet another river. Doing so let us reach Tule!



And where there's towns, there's talking time!

If that's so, why don't ya mosey over to the Greenhorn's Club and say that? {Because last time I did that I got dropkicked out the front door?}

Man: The crystals are all gone...
Man: Whew... This wears you out... {Even the village idiot has limits to his flowerbed circling abilities.}
Man: There's some big bash going on at Castle Tycoon! Wonder if they'd let me in...?
Man: Did you hear? They found Tycoon's missing princess.
Woman: I suddenly felt dizzy... When I came to, everything around the village had completely changed...
Man: Some strange cave appeared in the west. I heard tell that there was some mutant turtle in there!
Man: The wind's stopped... The sky's stagnating...
Woman: Some folks saw a ship with propellers down south, at the bird-shaped peninsula. Wonder what the heck it is.
Man: Doesn't the land look different to you?

Zok's House
Zok: I can't believe Princess Sarisa was leading a band of pirates... Mister-er, Miss Faris, or whatever she was calling herself. What a shock! Still, it's wonderful that both princesses safely returned to the castle.



Okay, I'll bite, but if I get curb-stomped again, I'm taking it out of your ass, old man.



The freelancer job can equip anything, and mimes can equip any armor but ribbons. However, they aren't that strong or powerful magically, so they seem pretty weak compared to other jobs. That said, once you've mastered the other jobs, things'll change. Once a job's been mastered, the pluses to stats and inherent abilities are added to the base stats and abilities of freelancers and mimes! For example, if you've mastered the jobs of knight, black mage, and thief, Freelancers and miles will have the same strength as a knight, the same magical strength as a black mage, and the inherent thief abilities Find Passages and Sprint-plus still have two slots free to set other abilities! Once you've mastered several jobs, freelancers and mimes become the strongest jobs of all!

The tl;dr version of that is Freelancers rock when you've mastered a few Jobs. Thanks for the tip I already knew, lady!



Alright, onwards! There's a pass now just to the west of Tule.



This is familiar territory...



Oh snap, we fell in!



Krile: If you hadn't been riding so fast...
*Krile takes a step down and faces Bartz*
*Bartz looks down for a moment, then walks up to Boko and raises his arms*
Bartz: ...Boko! I say this's all your fault!
Boko: Kweh kweh kweh!
*Boko jumps in shock and Krile goes around Boko to Bartz*
Krile: Don't take it out on him, there's nothing he could've done!
*Bartz looks down*



I'm gonna guess "another boss fight".



Pretty much, yeah.



♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪

Yep. And it can't aim for crap; it just missed Krile.

She returns the favor with some coins to the face.



Bartz decided to slip on !Animals today. His first choice turned out to be Nightengale, which anyone who's been keeping up with the group LP knows does some moderate healing.



Krile resumes her tossing money in the faces of evil. She may only know one trick, but it's a painful one.



Then Bartz calls upon his furry forested friends to do... 150 damage. Fuck, Bartz, you'd do more damage by sneezing on it by now.



So Krile just tosses more money at their problems.



Success! Krile will be a great investor some day.



Krile: I don't think it's very great at all. Now what'll we do?
Boko: Kweh...

I guess we could just sit here until we die...



♪♪ Huh? ♪♪

Someone just dropped a rope down the pit! But it's just out of reach, too!



Now they're just playing with Bartz.



The Flying Chocobo Leap tactic doesn't work either!



Um, sure?

Willing to admit you were wrong to try and make it without me? Heh heh heh...
*The rope lowers at last*
Come on, get up here!
*Bartz ties Boko to the rope and the bird is winched up*
*Bartz climbs the rope*



I knew it.

*They approach one another*
Faris: Which one of you decided to maroon me back there!?

"He did it!"



"No, she did it!"



Hahaha. They both are ashamed of their actions.



Faris: I'm just not cut out for being a princess, I'm afraid. Pirating's much more my style.

Then why'd you come back to this lot and not return to your pirate buddies?



They're laughing at you again, Faris.



Now you've done it, guys.



You've earned a reckoning. You're on Faris' list now. Sleep tight.



Oh now what?

Bartz: What's wrong?
Krile: Owie, I think I got a splinter... Don't worry about it.

...You are the most pathetic little death dealer ever, Krile.



♪♪ Fanfare 1 ♪♪

Woot!



The only place to go is this cave...



Have some faith in your feathered companion, Bartz!



♪♪ Beyond the Deep Blue Sea ♪♪

Oh hey, it's our favorite hero on the half shell.



Gotta do everything for you old farts, I swear...



Yep, definitely Ghido.

The shock of the two worlds merging sent everything topsy-turvy...including me! I'm a bit too old to do much on my back, I rue.

I don't even want to know.



You still haven't figured it out, Bartz? Good grief.

Ghido: I see you're just as slow on the uptake as before. It's an ancient legend, but I had never imagined it was true...
*Ghido faces Bartz*
Ghido: According to legend, a thousand years ago, Bartz's world and Krile's world were one and the same.
Bartz: The same!?
Ghido: It seems there is quite the echo in here.
Bartz: But... why did the worlds split?
Ghido: To seal the Void.
Bartz: Void...?
Ghido: I fear no matter how often I allude to your ignorance, my dry wit just goes over your head, so I will simply explain.

Nobody beats down Bartz' constant parroting quite like Ghido.