Enter the Squared Circle: Let's Play Saturday Night Slammasters!

It's gonna be a body slammin' good time when we play Saturday Night Slammasters!

Some of you probably are familiar with this game, but I'm guessing most of you aren't, because it seems like it was a lower profile title for Capcom. I've never seen a real, live arcade cab of this game or it's Street Fighter II Turbo-esque upgrade, Muscle Bomber Duo: Ultimate Team Battle, or even the sequel, Slammasters II: Ring of Destruction.

No, my first exposure was on the SNES (there was also a Genesis port, which I do own, and you might get to see some of that at the end of the LP, as it contains a mode not in any other version of the game), and it's where I fell in love with the game. I mean, I love pro wrestling and I love Capcom, how could it not be a match made in heaven? (No, not that one.) Well, in short it was, but not without its warts.

Forget that, though for a second. There will be more than ample time to delve into the game itself when we're playing it! Now, I call on you, Talking Time, to decide who we're taking on the road to the title! There are eight wrestlers available, let's introduce them!


Gunloc (a.k.a. Lucky Colt in the Japanese version)

Here's the deal, the Street Fighter, Final Fight and Slammasters worlds are all actually one persistant Capcom-iverse. Our first wrestler shows that when we see he's "related to a famous street fighter." My guess is Guile. Don't know why, call it a gut feeling.


Biff Slamkovich (a.k.a. Aleksey Zalazof in the Japanese version)

Biff is the anti-Ivan Drago, having embraced American culture. He loves moshing, apparently. He's Ken to Gunloc's Ryu. Oh, and he mentions Zangief in his losing quote.


The Great Oni (a.k.a. The Mysterious Budo in the Japanese version)

Oni is a blatant amalgam of The Great Kabuki and The Great Muta. He's among my favorites, and is the puroresu (Japanese-style pro wrestling) representative here. His finisher is awesome, but really hard to pull off, because doing 360s sucks in this game.


Titanic Tim (a.k.a. Titan the Great in the Japanese version)

The standard giant character, influenced by generations of wrestling giants. Apparently, he is former tag team partners with Birdie, who does not appear in this game (but they sure do lay the Street Fighter references on pretty thick).


El Stingray (a.k.a. El Stinger in the Japanese version)

LUCHA LIBRE *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap* LUCHA LIBRE! Stingray is a flamboyant rudo (a bad guy in Mexican wrestling). He's small and fast, with some cool, Dhalsim-esque specials. He makes winning comments about banging your girlfriend.


Mike Haggar

Yes, Mike motherfucking Haggar is in this game, and without his stupid-ass ponytail, too. Supposedly, this game takes place before he's the mayor of Metro City, but the US version clearly states in this screen not only that it takes place after, but that he's from New York. Who knows? Jessica appears when he wins a match.


Alexander the Grater (a.k.a. Sheep the Royal in the Japanese version)

This guy is a nod to the old-school southern-style pro wrestlers. The Dusty Rhodes and the Dick Murdochs, (Milwaukee's own The Crusher makes an appearance in that clip, btw) he also looks a lot like Road Warrior Hawk without makeup. I guess he's a chef and a wrestler? (Not so cool now, are you, El Fuerte?) Comes to the ring in a huge metal sheep mask.


King Rasta Mon (a.k.a. Missing I.Q. Gomes in the Japanese version)

A loving tribute to Bruiser Brody, he comes to the ring with a monkey on his shoulder (which, I guess, is also a tribute to George "The Animal" Steele). I've read that he's supposedly Blanka before getting all monsterous, but I'm not sure I buy that.

Ok, Tyrants, who's it gonna be? Who's going all the way to the top of the Capcom Wrestling Association? Vote, then make sure to tune in this Saturday for the first episode of CWA Crash Carnival, live* on Gamespite!

*Not actually live.

El Stingray. Short guys represent!

El Stingray all the way, man. This game is so utterly fantastic.

I think Mayor Haggar would be fun

Do it.


Slam Masters is definitely a prequel; Capcom of America just changed the story for the heck of it, as was their love and passion back then.

His hometown is listed as New York in both versions, but Metro City is kind of obviously supposed to be a fantastical New York, anyway. (You can even see the Statue of Liberty in Round 5 of Final Fight.)

There is only one man awesome enough to survive this LP.

That man is Mike Haggar

Clearly Mike Haggar.

Oh come on. We've seen Haggar steal the show in so many games already, let's show him there's at least one game he can't have!

El Stingray forever!

Haggar is clearly the fan-favorite, but that being said, The Great Oni's tragic backstory of being unable to cut it in Kabuki tugs at my heartstrings.

It's a tough call, but seeing as El Stingray looks like he grasps the principles of Destrucity better, I say we go with him. Bring on the nonsensical Ultimate Warrior gibberish!

No question! It's gotta be Haggar!

Seriously you guys don't vote for Mike Haggar. That's predictable and boring.

El Stingray.

It clearly has to be El Stingray. Frankly all other options are not even worth considering.

Jalapeáo Comet por favor.

Every character stinks in this shitty excuse for a game, but Haggar simply because at least he appeared in a good game at one point.

King Rasta Mon!

Because he's a rasta, mon!

And I want to see him freak out when you mess with his monkey.

(Haggar seems like a fine choice, too)

The Ample One lays his vote for El Stingray.

ITT, we learn that Sven is a hater. Hater.

I approve of Mike Haggar times. Bro's a safe predictable choice but come on. Mike Haggar.

Not that it'll make a difference, but I'm'a throw in a second vote for The Great Oni. He's the wrestling equivalent of Kabuki Quantum Fighter!

I vote for El Stingray.

I like my wrestling games in my wrestling games and my fighting games in my fighting games.

This is basically Wrestlemania: The Arcade game without the joy of beating up on Doink.

El Stingray, obviously.

The choice is clear.

You. Can't. Fuck. With. The.Haggar.

I'm throwing my vote away by supporting King Rasta Mon, aren't I?

Fine, then. El Stingray it is!

Alexander the Grater because he reminds me of Bam Bam Bigelow for some reason.

Ok, kids, here's the deal: I need time to get a post together for Saturday Night's debut show, coming to you LIVE from the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena! That being the case, voting will be over when I get home from work tomorrow, that's usually about 8:30pm, CDT. So, if you're lurking and haven't casted a vote yet, now's the time! It's coming down to Haggar and El Stingray, but with enough votes, Oni or Grater could catch up!

See you Saturday Night!

Can I blow your mind? I like that game, too. Like, more than I probably should.

But if you hate it, you'll probably get a kick out of Spoony doing commentary over a tips video for it.

A vote for El Stingray!

Tom Selleck mustaches and wearing a belt as a single suspender are what champions are made of: Mike Haggar.