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#242
11-06-2010, 02:29 PM
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Due to my week being hellishly busy with two podcasts to record, a wedding, Badger football, and having to film stuff for a movie project I'm in, there will not be a new episode this week. Sorry.
However, in keeping with the theme of the LP, you can pretend that CWA was pre-empted this week by the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. |
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#243
11-06-2010, 03:27 PM
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#244
11-06-2010, 05:35 PM
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#245
11-06-2010, 06:59 PM
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AM I DONIG IT RIGTH?!!
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#246
11-08-2010, 09:22 AM
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(The fact that this actually turned into the key point in what was essentially a hundred million dollar lawsuit always amuses me. The judge was fine with the US Open, but not the Dog Show.) |
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#247
11-14-2010, 12:56 AM
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After a week hiatus, we are LIVE from Moscow!
 Simian: Hello once again, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to CWA Crash Carnival! We are live in Moscow tonight, and we have a huge main event! Former tag partners collide as Titanic Tim gets his shot at the CWA World Heavyweight Champion El Stingray! I'm Simian Rainstorm, and joining me as always is Robby "The Noggin" Heehaw! Robby: You know it, Rainstorm! And am I excited to see the big Brit chop down that little Mexican jumping bean! Simian: Will you stop! There's nothing you want more than to see Stingray lose his title, is there? Robby: Absolutely not, and it's finally gonna happen tonight!  Simian: This crowd is going bananas, ready to see a World Title match! Noggin, what's the key to victory here? Robby: Well, if you're Stingray, it's to be quick, stay out of Tim's grasp, avoid those big chops. If you're Tim, it's to shut down the quickness of El Stingray. Both men have an uphill battle, but I have to give the advantage to the much larger man! Tim is the largest man in the CWA, although that tub of lard who came over from the BWA outweighed him, and the Masked Chico put him down... Simian: Indeed, referring of course to Jumbo Jack who has since slunk back to the BWA. Let's go down to the lockerroom for pre-match comments!  Simian: Indeed, both me ready for action! We take you now to Harold Stinkel for our ring introductions!    Harold: Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Capcom Wrestling Association World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, now approaching the ring, he weighs in tonight at 163 pounds, hailing from Acapulco, Mexico... The reigning CWA World Champion, EL SSSSSSSSTINGRAY!!!!    Harold: And the challenger, standing seven feet nine inches tall, weighing in at 432 pounds, he hails from London, England... TITANIC TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!! Simian: That is truly a mass of humanity.    Simian: These men aren't waiting, we are under way! Stingray jumps in and takes a big chop right away! The champ in trouble early! Robby: I told you he'd need to avoid that!    Simian: Back to his feet, and a running big boot! Things not looking good in the early going, here! |
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#248
11-14-2010, 12:57 AM
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   Simian: He's flat on the canvas, this could be a short one. Robby: When you're in there with the Titan, everyone's a short one. HA! Get it, because he's tall? Simian: I got it.    Simian: Back to his feet now... WHAT A KICK! Robby: Caught the big man off balance, no matter how big you are, you can't get too cocky with the champ in there. As much as I don't like him, he's the champ for a reason.    Simian: Back to his feet, now trying to take to the air with that big chop. Probably not a good idea with an aerial specialist like El Stingray. And a pair of boots to the mush for his troubles!    Robby: But not enough to take the big man off his feet a second time, Rainstorm. And now he's got him! Simian: Irish whip now...    Simian: Another running big boot! And with a lot more momentum this time! Robby: He nearly took his ugly head clean off! |
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#249
11-14-2010, 12:58 AM
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   Simian: Once again, the champ is motionless. This is not looking good. That behemoth is shaking off any offense that comes his way.    Simian: Moving now... back to his feet, and they tie up...    Simian: What a huge vertical suplex! Robby: Holy smokes! I can't believe he got him up!    Simian: A little appeal to the crowd, not sure if that's a good idea, but he's earned it. Crowd: YAYYYYYY!!! Simian: And a stomp! Robby: Everyone's the same height when they're on their back. It's a good move. Simian: Now tying up again...    Simian: ANOTHER HUGE SUPLEX!!! WHAT STRENGTH!! |
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#250
11-14-2010, 01:00 AM
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   Simian: Stalking now... and another stomp. Titanic Tim getting up...    Simian: Another huge kick sends the big man right back to the canvas! Robby: And that's important, that if he wants to have any chance to retain the title that he get a flurry of offense going. But I don't think he'll get the opportunity.   Simian: Big man back to his feet, and... oh no, he's got ahold of him! Robby: And the iron claw! This could be the end! We could have a new champion!    Simian: He's working that claw, but what's this? Iron Claw Slam!    Simian: He palmed his head like a basketball! Robby: Then he dunked it! This is great! |
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#251
11-14-2010, 01:01 AM
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   Simian: Finally stirring is the champion... I'm not sure he knows where he is. Robby: He's only a Titan Breaker away from winning this thing!    Simian: Another big boot! Harry Hicks should consider stopping this thing, a concussion is a very real possibility at this point! Robby: He can give up if he wants! Give away his title! Simian: Now you know he won't do that! Robby: Then he deserves the head trauma!    Simian: He's just laying there. This isn't good. Robby: No, no... he's getting back up.    Simian: Titan into the ropes, another boot, perhaps? MY GOODNESS, JALAPENO COMET OUT OF NOWHERE! HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM!    Simian: Now the luchador taking over, he sends the big man in, and... |
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#252
11-14-2010, 01:03 AM
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   Simian: What a shot to the gut! He's doubled the big man over!    Simian: And he follows up with a right hand! Got him down to his height and let him have it! Robby: WATCH THE CLOSED FIST, REF!!!* *Technically, in pro wrestling you are not allowed to hit your opponent with a closed fist. In the old days, this allowed feuds to culminate in taped fist matches, but nowadays, no one gets DQ'd for it, though the refs will sometimes tell a guy "open it up."    Simian: He's in the high rent district now, looking for a big move!    Robby: HE WAS SWATTED RIGHT OUT OF MID-AIR! We could see a new champion right now, Rainstorm!    Simian: Back up, now with a corkscrew kick! |
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#253
11-14-2010, 01:06 AM
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   Robby: He took the kick, wasn't phased, and swatted the champ right out of the air again! PIN HIM!    Robby: PIN HIM!!! What are you doing? Simian: Not finished with the technico yet, I surmise. He's trying to make a point, Noggin.    Simian: Going for another chop, but quickness wins the day as the Stinger hits him with a swift kick.    Simian: But the challenger's got ahold of the champ again, and he's got him up... and down he goes with a huge delayed belly-to-belly! Robby: He's gotta follow up, Rainstorm! |
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#254
11-14-2010, 01:07 AM
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         Robby: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PIN HIM! WIN THE TITLE! Simian: And again, he does not go for the pin. Clearly, he feels he either has him beat, or has something to prove. Brings the champ to his feet...    Simian: What a side Russian leg sweep! That could be all she wrote!    Simian: Bringing him to his feet once again... Another Russian leg sweep, perhaps? |
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#255
11-14-2010, 01:08 AM
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   Simian: The champ wheels on him and puts one in the breadbasket! Now into high risk territory. This did not pay off the last time! Robby: That's right, he'll be swatted down again!    Simian: Bombs away! AND WHAT A FLYING KICK! Indeed, the challenger was swatted down this time! Robby: NO! NO! Why didn't you pin him when you had the chance, you big goof!?       Simian: Now he's biding his time, waiting for the big man to get to his feet... and a perfectly timed flying headbutt! My goodness!    Simian: Senton splash! The champ getting back in the driver's seat here, Noggin! Robby: If that big idiot couldn't see this coming, he deserves to lose! |
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#256
11-14-2010, 01:10 AM
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   Simian: Back to his feet and back up top, I'm not sure the Titanic One knows where the champ is.    Simian: What a moonsault press! Robby: NO! YOU IDIOT! YOU HAD HIM BEAT!    Simian: Another senton, he's letting the challenger back to his feet... Robby: The difference is, every time that the masked ugly has let Titan get to his feet, he's been laying in wait, not so the other way around.    Simian: He walked right into a double underhook suplex! It's been nothing but Stingray lately, is this all?    Crowd: 1! 2! 3! YAYYYYYYY!!!!! Simian: It is, this one's all over as Referee Harry Hicks counts the three! Let's go to Harold Stinkel for our official results! Last edited by ShakeWell; 11-15-2010 at 11:35 PM. |
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#257
11-14-2010, 01:12 AM
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  Harold: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match... and STILL CWA World Heavyweight Champion... EL SSSSSSSTINGRAY!!! Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!   More points, more crowns, and just a little closer to the end! Simian: What a main event! It looked like the title was in trouble there, but in the end, the champ retains! Let's go to the lockerroom for post-match interviews!  Simian: Indeed, a hard loss for the Titanic one, but a great main event between former tag partners! Be sure to join us next week as Alexander the Grater returns from injury to take on the man who put him out, the champion, El Stingray! For Robby Heehaw, I'm Simian Rainstorm, goodnight everyone! PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING:  
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#258
11-14-2010, 04:23 AM
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#261
11-16-2010, 12:43 AM
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Yeah, for Ring of Destruction.
I love Gunloc's grief-ridden expression in Haggar's headlock. And Scorpion just looks mildly annoyed that Rasta Mon is tearing him to ribbons. |
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#262
11-20-2010, 09:55 PM
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Simian: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to CWA Crash Carnival! We are live tonight in Hanover, Germany and this crowd is ready to go bananas! Tonight, in our main event, the big man from Kentucky, Alexander the Grater, is coming back to face the man who put him out of the CWA with a broken arm several months ago, the World Champion, El Stingray. I'm Simian Rainstorm, and joining me as always is my broadcast partner, Robby "The Noggin" Heehaw!  Robby: You know, Rainstorm, Grater is upset. He's out to do some damage. I had the chance to speak to him earlier tonight, and he told me that he was not only going to win the title, but he's going to do it in record time AND put Stingray on the shelf at the same time. Simian: Big words from a big man, but that remains to be seen. We take you now to the lockerroom area for pre-match interviews!  Robby: That's right, Rainstorm, he's gonna beat the little luchador like a hog! Simian: We'll see about that, it's sure to be a classic! Let's head down to Harold Stinkel for our ring introductions!  Harold: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is our MAIN EVENT... It is scheduled for one fall and it is for the CAPCOM WRESTLING ASSOCIATION WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Now heading to the ring, weighing in at 163 pounds, from Acapulco, Mexico, he is the reigning CWA champion... EL SSSSSSSSTINGRAY!!!!    Harold: And the challenger... he weighs in at 359 pounds, hailing from the great Bluegrass State of Kentucky... ALEXANDER THE GRRRRRRRRRATER!!!  Simian: The bell is gone and we are under way in our main event in Hanover!    Simian: And despite Grater's promise, the champ is out of the gate and on the offensive right away, putting those signature kicks right in the breadbasket! |
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#263
11-20-2010, 09:56 PM
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   Simian: Another kick, and he's up with a corkscrew kick...    Simian: Right on the button, and now what?    Simian: And the explosive lower-body power of the champion on display with that vertical suplex! And it has been all Stingray so far. Robby: That's right, he's using his speed here, and that's what he needs to keep doing. Grater outweighs and outpowers him by a lot, Rainstorm, and he needs to avoid getting caught in his grip.    Simian: And a stomp, but now what?    Simian: Full head of steam! |
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#264
11-20-2010, 09:57 PM
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   Simian: And he ran headlong into a brick wall named Alexander the Grater! Robby: And it will cost him. Using your speed does not mean trying to overpower a relatively fresh Alexander. It'll take more than a cartwheel to get him off his feet at this point.    Simian: Champ back to his feet, keeping his distance from that big left hand of Grater. And now headed to the high rent district!    Simian: Up and down with the trademark speed!    Simian: But Grater moves out of the way! Robby: He's deceptively agile, Rainstorm! Simian: And Stingray unable to avoid that clubbing left hand! But he answers with a kick!    Simian: Another kick, but now keeping his distance... |
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#265
11-20-2010, 09:59 PM
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   Simian: He's back upstairs! And takes a moment for the fans! Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYY!!! Robby: That's a mistake! He's got to keep on the offensive, otherwise a big, angry Kentuckian is going to leave Germany with the big gold belt.    Simian: And he got ALL of that one! Grater on his back!    Simian: And a senton! And, I've gotta say, Noggin, despite Alexander's tough talk, this match has been all champ from the opening bell!    Simian: To his feet now is the challenger, but he's stepped right into the grip of the champion! Robby: And that isn't where you want to be. He could be open for a Stinger! TURN AROUND, IDIOT!    Robby: YES! He's too strong, he broke the grapple! |
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#266
11-20-2010, 10:00 PM
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   Simian: Now the challenger's got him, and what does he have in mind? Robby: Pain!    Simian: What a press slam! What power! Robby: That's what it takes! Keep on him! PUNISH HIM!    Simian: A shot to the back of the head sends the champ into the ropes, and Grater needs to close that gap between them. Robby: No, no. He's got him, this is where the punishment begins. After a shot like that to the back of the head-- Simian: The external occipital protuberance. Robby: Gesundheit. Anyways, after a shot like that to the back of the head, he barely knows where he is.       Simian: JALAPENO COMET OUT OF NOWHERE!!! Robby: WHAT?! NO!! THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!!! |
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#267
11-20-2010, 10:01 PM
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   Simian: Not going for the pin? No, he's got other plans for this man! Robby: It's a mistake! There's no way the Comet took him out of it!       Robby: No, no! Get to the ropes! Fall backwards! Slam him into the turnbuckle! Simian: The Stinger has the Stinger locked in, and Harry Hicks is asking the big man if he wants to continue...    Simian: And that's all, Hicks calling for the bell. The big man has had enough! That's close to a record for a championship match, but not the way the challenger predicted!    Simian: And what a dismount. Stingray is hardly breathing heavy! This may have been a warmup to him, to get ready to face the #1 Contender, Gunloc next week in London. Let's go down to Harold Stinkel for the official announcements. |
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#268
11-20-2010, 10:04 PM
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   Harold: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match as the result of a submission... and STILL CWA World Heavyweight Champion: EL SSSSSSSTINGRAY!!! Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!   Look at that score rack up! Only three matches to go! Simian: Let's go back to the lockerroom for post-match comments!  Simian: Looks like that arm may be re-injured. Did he come back too early to try for revenge? That may cost him in the long run. Robby: Indeed it may, but he clearly was too dumb to be champion. But next week, oh, it's going to be huge. The #1 Contender, Gunloc takes on El Stingray, and while I don't personally care for either of them, I have a lot of respect for them as athletes, and Rainstorm, I expect and instant classic! Simian: Absolutely, Noggin. I look forward to it. We are out of time, but for Robby Heehaw, I'm Simian Rainstorm, goodnight everyone, we'll see you next week! PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING:  
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#270
11-21-2010, 11:06 PM
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