Fresh. Let's Play Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass!

Hey, nice. We've got to be getting a lot of these now, I'll check in with Ludwig soon.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Oh yeah, that luncheon is OURS.



Furniture findings: a Mid-Size Sedan (+3 AGI, 1/6 of the Modern Set)...

And the extremely Copy Kitty-esque Strawberry Bomb (+2 AGI, 1/5 of the Fruity Set).



Music

Hell yeah.



Let's do this. See how the hundred-thousandaires really live!



Music: Worm Party

...Huh. I was expecting a little more.



Like, they got donuts and coffee, don't get me wrong, but this is... sort of dull.



Like... we barely know anybody here except maybe Beatrice Mouse and Harply.



Anyone else gonna show up? I owe Mr. Grouse a good shaking.



That clinches it. This luncheon is boring and stupid. Let's explore.



Music

If we head left, all that awaits us is an exit and a blocked elevator.



No.



Oooh, now we're talking. Yellow and black warning stripes ALWAYS signpost cool stuff.



Let's see what all the First Bank of Grouse really merged with.



Daaaang. Wonder if that's a new model of Super Deathbot.



...Kind of a lot of these things.



Well, just like Tetsuya Kawaii, let's ride this thing as high as it can go.



As we ascend higher still, the lights flicker a bit.



I... guess we're here?



Music: Work

That is a hell of a lot of cubicles. How do you even get into the inner ones?



Can't see anyone right now. Maybe they're all on break?



Some of the monitors kick on as we approach, then wink back out.



Ah, there's some employees. The Corporate Drones either do normal attacks, or take a bit of MP for themselves, nothing fancy. Lots of money you can take from them, not that we need it.

There's also a Secretary, who can attack normally, give a Motivational speech, or brew coffee to get all the enemies Hyper.



We can also encounter active Prototypes of their new X-5 bot. It can slam into someone, fire a laser, set of a volley of rockets for heavy area damage, or flash a warning light, which telegraphs biting down and spitting what's left of someone out. The rocket move hits hard, but it has to spend a turn reloading to get them back in order.

We can also encounter Yesmen here, unsurprisingly.



Hey, Tangible Aura.

Eventually we find a way through the cubicle sea.



You know this person's an almost-bigshot because they have a treadmill in their office.



Too much for them to handle, I guess.



These are the business practices here at Accelerated Dynamics? I've got a few choice words for Mr. Grouse to add to the pile.



Maybe the next floor?



This hallway doesn't have mazes of cubicles, but it has cameras surveying everything.



The lights in this storeroom aren't the best, they keep fading in and out.



Really can't afford lights here?



...Huh.



One more floor.



Mr. Grouse's office has gotta be close. Why else would these gaudy-ass pillars be here?



Got our shakin' hands on.



Music

An entire board of execs here. All dead, apparently from old age.



The speaker above them still crackles. Don't know what happened to the person at the other end.



Right, get up, it's time we throw down.



Oh, you're also the military industrial complex now? Like I needed MORE reasons to beat the hell out of you.



Music: Skin Thieves

You've completely lost it. I'm completely at a loss for words for how evil you are, but you've supplied them all for me.



Yeah, come closer.



You are talking about murdering an eight year old. There's no way we don't fight after that.



Music: A Cocoon Throbbing in a Dead Man's Mouth

Mr. Grouse is a gimmick boss fight, one that won't really do a lot of anything until he annihilates your party out of nowhere. That counter on the left indicates his ATK, which his Personal Computer in the back will add 20% interest to at the end of every turn. By attacking the Personal Computer (including with damage over time like Toxic Sludge) we can drop the counter by 10 whole points. Mr. Grouse himself can do a basic attack, take a bit of MP for himself, raise an MP tax that quadruples the cost of skills for 3 turns, or invest in the future to increase his ATK. Beyond that, he has two big payout moves: he can reinvest stolen MP for a powerful attack that scales with how much MP he's taken, or spend some power to drop his ATK counter by 100 and hit everyone for heavy physical damage. He'll only go for a payout if the counter is above 240, but he'll be guaranteed to do it if you somehow fall asleep at the wheel and let the counter reach 900.

Thankfully, the gimmick for this one is easy to counterplay, even though Mr. Grouse can still earn enough to turn the tables on you. Area attacks, damage over time, hell even having someone with nothing better to do attack the Personal Computer; it doesn't matter as long as you keep that ATK score low. That interest builds up quickly, and even though Mr. Grouse won't attack that often, all he needs is one good hit to put you in the ground.



MONEY SUCKS IMAGINATION RULES



Music: The Noble Sea

Mr. Grouse is knocked down, panting. We beat him, guys!



As evil as Mr. Grouse is, this speech here is kind of heavy in a pretty surprising way. Accelerated Dynamics as a nightmare zone could, of course, be read as a fear of adulthood, specifically of losing your soul to work. Unlike a lot of the nightmare zones where we eventually conquer that fear, though, this doesn't really happen here. Mr. Grouse simply has too much money for a meager X-5 Mobile Suppression Unit leak to actually hurt him, even if Jimmy tells everyone. And beyond that, it's very easy to see where Mr. Grouse is coming from. Even if you don't want to be a millionaire, you need money to do a lot of things that ought to be guarantees of civilized life, like getting food or shelter. And once you actually have some, it's very easy to both see what other possibilities you can have, and to know what awaits you if you end up without it.



Or, as I like to put it: I like having money, but I don't like needing to have money. And when you're as rich as Mr. Grouse is, you can just shrug off the money that a major scandal like the prototype leak would do, bleeding enough raw capital in a month to sustain an entire rural town for a decade. Jimmy might not understand, but I don't think Mr. Grouse fully does either.



Hell, he can afford enough to just give us something like this as a gift even though we're about to cost him millions. Life Insurance, combined with the VIP Pass, completely nullifies the threat of facechecking a nightmare zone or its boss.



EVERYTHING IS FLEETING AND I RELISH THE DAY WHEN YOUR MONEY BECOMES WORTHLESS

Seriously, you have the gall to lecture us about being a "small man" when THIS is your workplace restroom. I'm stealing your stuff and there's nothing you can do about it.



Molecular Beam (120 MP) is an Andrew-exclusive manual, and that MP cost is as terrifyingly high as it is for one key reason: this skill has no cooldown. The only thing keeping you from firing Molecular Beam every turn is your MP consumption. There are a rare few ways to reduce MP spent in the game, and if you want to have any hope of using Molecular Beam to its full potential, you need to make sure Andrew gets every single one. Starting a fight at full and factoring his MP regen in, he can fire this off three times before needing to recharge, and that's not nothing.



The Hyperdrive Unit (+50 AGI) is nice, sure.



This place disgusts me. Let's get the hell out of here.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Now that I no longer have to save up for a stupid luncheon, let's get a little silly with furniture. First up, the Coffee Maker (+2 AGI, 1/5 of the Girly Set)...

And the Skyscraper (+3 ATK, 1/6 of the Modern Set).



But wait! With the addition of the Coffee Maker, we've completed a hidden set!



Just throw all those food items together (Big Cheese, Fish Heads, Coffee Maker, Slab of Beef) and you, too, can enjoy minor regen.



We also go buy the last two pieces of the Space Set: the Astronaut (+1 MAT)...

And the Satellite (+1 MDF).



I do want to go get the Classy Set from the furniture shop eventually, but it costs a lot more than I feel like doing right now. More than a few pieces of it contribute to some hidden sets, too.



Not like we're hurting for money anymore, anyway.

Next Time: The hippocampas is one of the key parts of the brain involved in storing memories. I wouldn't be able to remember that fact if it weren't for the hippocampas.

There's seriously a huge difference between how small the Mouse family is implied to be by dialogue and how big they actually are in the game itself. Like I see Beatrice standing about half a head shorter than Jimmy and I imagine her eating a giant donut, not as a regular-sized mouse eating a regular-sized donut.

Oh well, it's Jimmy's imagination.

Also, is that the same Information Guy from Legato? If so, he's doing really well for himself after the whole imprisonment and near-death mauling by Mr. Cat thing. Really well.

Music

No more waiting. We've got to get into Central Hub.



Music: Finer Circuitry

And while we're in Central Hub, we're going to learn a lot more about the nature of Jimmy's dream world, and what makes the Pulsating Mass the threat it is.



The architecture is sort of similar to the Iron Flamingo.



Rubik? What are you doing here?



This is the last offer Rubik will ever make (outside Dark Dungeon). Consider it carefully if you're playing along, but me...



I think the world would be a brighter place if you just stick to being yourself.



That's the spirit. Rubik's gear here is on the expensive side for now, but I may as well list it out.





But hey: even if a healing fountain is more immediately and straightforwardly useful, being able to buy consumables in here is nice and does much the same thing.



Our goal is to get into this door, so we're gonna have to tag all the circuits around the area. There's six branches to explore, although all of them are brief.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

Hey, been a while since we've heard Toaster with Teeth. Anyway, Holo Orbs coat themselves in a shimmering light, which transforms them into one of a few types of Megatropolis enemy: Volleyball Beach Babe, Mr. Fish Head, Catty Schoolgirl, Corporate Drone, Robo-Chan, Lucky Neko, DeeDee DeeDee, or Big Enormous Slug. None of these holocopies have anything to steal, but they are otherwise identical to their originals.

The middle one is a Broadcast Orb, which passively applies Extended to all enemies. Just like in the Principal Pulsating Mass fight, Extended enemies turn all of their single-target moves (even support moves!) into area ones. The Broadcast Orb itself does nothing.

Recovery Orb uses first aid to heal another enemy for a quarter of its health. It doesn't do anything else either.



Music: Finer Circuitry

I'll go this way first, why not.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

Hey look it's like the one orb that actually fights directly. Security Orb has a normal attack, a laser, and it can take aim to telegraph launching a buzzsaw at someone for hefty damage.



Music: Finer Circuitry

Oooh, waterfalls!



For somewhere that's billed as the nerve center of the world, Central Hub is pretty sterile... but it looks kind of nice, too. Got a tranquil feel to it. Hard to imagine that we're racing the clock against the Pulsating Mass right now.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

The last orb type we'll see in Central Hub is the Counter Orb. Like the name says, they passively Counter all physical attacks. On their own, they'll attack normally, or generate an energy barrier to become Impenetrable to physical attacks. Use magic? Use magic.



Music: Finer Circuitry

Hi, non-orb robot!



I'll take that as a good sign! All the robots here just repeat what they have to say if you shake them unless they're security robots, in which case they just go "THREAT DETECTED".



A little ways ahead, we find a few pumps, although their purpose is unknown.



The two in back are synchronized completely, while the two in front follow an even rhythm.



The thing we're looking for is just beyond.



Guess this is six-factor authentication?



Five to go.



Let's knock out all of one side first.



Wonder what this door is for.



Hello, robomouth. What's the good word?

I... see?



A little ways ahead, we find a bunch more mouths.



Each of them says something slightly different, but always monosyllabic.



Robot legs?



Fascinating. I'm sure this all means something.



Well, four to go!



Nothing slowing us down much, so let's keep going!



Robo-eyes this time, but they're closed.



Hm... so if this is Jimmy's dream...



Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.



Is that a telescope?



Don't see why not.



So, that's interesting.

Not only does this bit right here spell out in no uncertain terms that we're in Jimmy's dream, but it also tells us that Central Hub, such as it is, basically represents Jimmy's brain. We'll see this more as we approach its left side, but each of the three branches has governed a small part of what keeps a Jimmy running. Which, in turn, redefines exactly what the threat established here is: we need to access and protect Central Hub before the Pulsating Mass gets to it. And if Central Hub is Jimmy's brain... well, the hospital bed Jimmy's in here says a lot.



Let's go have a look at the left side of Central Hub before we expand on that further.



Snag a few consumables from Rubik and move right on our merry way. Did you notice that outside of that one Emergency Exit in Cloudy Hill, we've never found consumables in fights or from toyboxes?



This branch has a clock and a sweeperbot.



Hey now, Jimmy's eight. You never remember to shower on time when you're eight.



Robot teeth.



Well, did you?



Guess this branch is about cataloguing the passage of time.



Oh hi memory of Helga. What are you doing outside of Singing Water Cave?



Wonder what kind of pills Jimmy needs.



Only two left!



What else remains...



Huh. Those are the same pods as on the Iron Flamingo.

Keep up the good work, soldier.



I guess this is where Central Hub manufactures those security robots?



Further ahead is a huge hangar!



There's room for three whole ships here...



But one of them's been commandeered.



Nearly done.



Just this last branch.



Lots of big server-like machines here.



Hey, it's like a little office.



What a curious fact to bring up right now, Information Guy.



The most interesting part of this branch is over here...



I'm guessing these terminals represent some of Jimmy's visual memory. Most of that's pretty standard, but there's a couple in there that are a bit alarming.



What's the transmission, though?



...Yeah, we kinda haven't been able to track down GAMM-E at all, huh. We'll have to fix that after we're done here.



We'll try to hurry, but we have to handle this first.



Let's get to the core of Central Hub.



We have good priorities.



Right, let's hit it.



Access granted.



A couple more escape pods like on the Iron Flamingo...



And the very core of Central Hub.



Now's the time for that, yeah.



What next?



Music

...Of course we were too late.



Music: Skin Thieves

Buck got here first.

We lost the race. What little hope we've had is fading fast.



Buck swells with an intense, malevolent energy.



That's not Buck anymore. He was fighting the Pulsating Mass when we encountered him last, but now there's nothing left to fight with.



And with just the Pulsating Mass in control of his new body, he's got power and focus in spades.



If we try to do anything with the Secret Knowledge, he'll flatten us.



Music: Knuckle Sandwich and Ladyfingers

But Punch Tanaka's at his best when all hope is lost and there's no options left.



Punch has a solid point here. Andrew's putting a lot of faith into the Secret Knowledge as a way to bust us out, but at this point, with all the time we'd have to invest into decoding it that the Pulsating Mass will not let us have...



But if Punch goes through with this... we're not gonna see him again.



Music

Do or die time.



One more wave of energy washes over everyone, pushing them into the corridor.



We won't let ya down.



Music: The Thresher

The family runs off as Punch Tanaka holds off Buck.



Nothing we haven't done before, right?



We'll find you all again.



Music

The escape pod roars to life, leaving Jimmy alone.



Music: Starless Zone

Let me tell you a little something about Punch Tanaka. Even Punch Tanaka gets taken down. But when he does, he goes like a hero.



We find ourselves on a strange world.



...Huh. All right then.



Not a lot of... feature to this place, huh.



Oh, that's a feature. Six bizarre robed things surrounding what looks like a teleporter. It's inactive, whatever it is.



A fair distance away, we find...



Home, I suppose. But with Buck a monster, Helga and Andrew gone, and Lars living on the moon, can it really be home?



Music

The house feels so empty without everyone else.



Well, if nothing else, we could use some rest.



Get all you can.

We have a lot to take in right now, and just need a bit of time.



Whoever is knocking from inside the closet doesn't want us to have that time. I swear, if it's Jonathon again...



I take it back, can we get Jonathon instead?



Music: Skin Thieves

Can you just put things on hold for five seconds here?!



Music: The Thresher

NO OKAY FINE



LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN REST IN HIS OWN HOME



Music: Starless Zone

Guess we can't stay here.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

Time for enemies to appear on Planet Jimmy. Squirm either performs a normal attack or quivers, doing nothing.



Music: Starless Zone

The teleporter is active. Nothing else left for us on Planet Jimmy, so let's keep looking.



Bright.



This planet's got some vegetation to it.



Aha. That's straightforward.



Glad you got away, at least.



I guess losing Central Hub was hard on everyone.



Helga rejoins the party, and all of the plant life immediately withers.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

Tongue Plant joins the spacefacing enemy selection from Planet Helga onward. It can either attack, or inhale a huge gulp of air, telegraphing either sleepy-time breath, hocking up something gross on the party, or releasing an airborne Immunodeficiency virus. The Vaccine Shots we can steal from it duplicate the effect of Jonathon's old Immunize move.

Unrelated, but Squirm's moveset changes on a per-planet basis. On Planet Helga, it gains the ability to scratch with diseased, Sickness-inducing claws in addition to its old moves.



Music: Starless Zone

Let's keep moving.



Well, if the pattern holds up, this place should be Planet Andrew.



Yep. Let's go find him.



Guessing he went in this weird crystalline palace.



Getting some serious Symmetrical Cavern flashbacks here. Let's see...



Using Rotting Jack O' Lantern, we can melt the pillars down to nothing.



They reform very quickly, though.



Reformation speed is based on steps taken, so it's actually a puzzle about doing it in the right order. From where you're sitting, the order is 2, 5, 4, 3, 1.



Remember when I said there was a degree of similarity between Andrew and Lars? This is where that comes from. Andrew has a lot of confidence, and it's not unfounded, but his belief that every problem has an achievable solution... well, whenever anything shakes a person's faith like that, it can leave them seriously wondering what they did wrong. Andrew's not an idiot, just like Lars isn't worthless. But when things get this hard, it's hard to not blame yourself above and beyond what you're actually culpable for.

Gotta keep moving until we get to somewhere safe, if such a place even exists still.



Out of the crystal palace to find the teleporter.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

Mouth has a really annoying ability to absorb all magical and light-based attacks (including Pulverizing Light). Ordinarily, it just fires mind lasers, but if it gargles its universe, it changes its moveset, with a multi-target mind laser, a super ultra mega ultra beam that deals heavy magical damage to one person, or accidentally swallowing its own universe, taking itself down. Oh, and on Planet Andrew, Squirms drop the regular attack (but keep the diseased claws) and their quiver now telegraphs a Barrier spell. So uh... don't use magic here!



Music: Starless Zone

Keep moving.



Yay Flighty!



Where could we be headed next?



Man, this place is a dump.



Ah, we're on Plantar, of course.



Is this a house?



...This explains a lot but also raises a ton of questions.



Guess we're going back to Team Family now.



This is what happens when someone imagines a perfect partner for you but doesn't get the fine details of "raising a family".



Hitomi will not be joining us for some time, because Moon Baby's appetite is unstoppable. No big deal to me, let's go get a dang spaceship. Oh, and by the way: Lars has picked himself up a Mjolnir and some Smart Clothes in his absence.



Music: Toaster with Teeth

Fingers will always quiver, which telegraphs a triple attack. If it quivers twice in a row, it'll do a sextuple attack instead. Squirm's moveset changes once again, and the quiver it does now can telegraph a three-hit rampage as an alternative to the Barrier.



Music: Starless Zone

Anyway let's get out of the trashscape and go find Hitomi's ship.



Hey, you can see Planet Jimmy from here!



Or... what's left of it.



Here's the spaceship, at least.



Music

It's not a real JRPG endgame until you can fly to all the areas in the game world.



Music: Let's Color Today

So yeah. Central Hub, the dreamworld analogy for Jimmy's brain, has been completely overtaken by the Pulsating Mass.



Music

Which means, at this point, we can stop beating around the bush in regards to the Pulsating Mass. We've had clues all throughout, some subtle, some less so, but at this point, we've got to face facts: the Pulsating Mass is just another name for Jimmy's brain cancer.

Now, a lot of games and stories have tried to do this twist before. One common thing that happens is that they'll usually throw this twist right at the end, as a tragic ending. Not this time. Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass is a story about realizing that you've got this horrible disease threatening Jimmy, and then going "so what happens next?" Those energy nexus points are going to take us to areas we've never had a chance to reach before, and they'll tell us all about how everyone in Jimmy's family handles this. The Pulsating Mass taking over Central Hub is a huge problem, but it is not the end of the story, not by a long shot. We may be in endgame, but there's more story to tell yet.



DAOG PLS SAFE PLS



So our goal for this part of the game is, as the robot said, to track down the energy nexus points. We do that, and we can regain access to what used to be Central Hub.



Major respect to Mainie and Laurencin for coming all the way out here, though. I hope Rubik is okay in there.



Music: Let's Color Today

This update's been a long one, but we have one last thing to do before we start tracking down energy nexus points.

Music: Knuckle Sandwich and Ladyfingers

The Petty Thugs don't know what went down in Central Hub, but they know Punch Tanaka went in, and never came out.



Steady as she goes, Johnny.



Not surprised that Johnny's having such a hard time of it.



You do what you gotta do.



Johnny runs off, hoping nobody will see him sobbing too hard.



I don't think Punch could ask for a finer way to remember him than that.



Last up, DeeDee.



That's okay. Still glad you were here.



With that, she heads off, but Jimmy isn't done yet.



Music: The Noble Sea

Jimmy doesn't have to say words to find a way to honor Punch Tanaka's memory.



His Imagination is more than up to the task.



As sad as all the stuff we've had to handle this update has been? HELL YES THIS IS SO COOL.



Music

Punch Tanaka's field action is, unsurprisingly, a punch. This move has the same impact as a charging Red-Billed Squawker... so it doesn't technically let us do anything new, but hey, it's nice.



Punch Tanaka is a secret imagination form that allows us to use all the cool rad moves Punch was able to use in our party. It costs more XP to level up Punch Tanaka form, but each level comes with +1 ATK, DEF, and LUK, and the moves granted take on a very different context for Jimmy.

Counter Stance (3 MP, unlock at level 5) means that a tank-focused Jimmy now has a way to answer either physical or magical attacks aimed his way. Again, now that Lars has rejoined, there's slightly less incentive to do this as Jimmy, but that extra versatility comes in very handy sometimes.

Intimidating Stare (passive, unlock at level 10) is our ticket to taking down Super Rad Ghosts. Forget Rad Sneakers, forget Sunshine, forget Pulverizing Light. Buying us a free turn at the start of any encounter is a huge boon for ghosthunting, even if it's not as handy in most other encounters. Get Punch Tanaka form to level 10 for this at the very least.

Called Shot (10 MP, unlock at level 15) was good for Punch, but it's even better for Jimmy. Jimmy's likely to have better MP, and he can stack this with Mana Burn and either Sharp Claws or Brainiac. I cannot overstate how powerful this move is.

Shakedown (5 MP, unlock at level 25) is probably the only Punch Tanaka skill I'd rate at only "okay". It's easier to unlock than Grift, at least.

Magnificent Combo (15 MP, unlock at level 40) is nice for sure, but it also competes with Head-On Collision. Being part of Punch Tanaka form and thus in the same moveset as Called Shot certainly helps it, but I wouldn't put on pressure to unlock this one if Head-On Collision is already working out for you.

Confidence (passive, unlock at level 50) isn't as strong as any individual statboosting passive, but it makes up for it by just saying "yeah you're awesome at every stat now". Considering how hard I've been gunning for a generalist build, maybe I'll just go for spiking my Punch Tanaka levels until I get this so Jimmy can be a true everyman.



Music: Let's Color Today

That's all for now. We've got a lot of ground to cover here, but we'll get to see more of that later.

Next Time: You probably don't remember me. I've been told that one of my key characteristics is that I'm forgettable.

Did we really make our way through most of the game without a "rustled my jimmies" joke, or did I miss it somewhere along the way (probably when the goon form was acquired)?

I have nothing to add here. I can't even say "Called it" because come on.

The only question that remains is whether this is the sort of optimistic story where Jimmy's dreamscape can mind-over-matter the material world and by imagining fighting back his cancer it actually goes into remission.

I doubt it.

I was sort of hoping the obvious cancer allegory would end up not being cancer, but here we are.

It's all too fitting that The Pulsating Mass that irrationality hates Jimmy like some super evil jRPG villain and wants him dead for no good reason other than "Fuck Jimmy" is the dream world interpretation of the cancer that's been slowly killing him.



Also makes Helga's song a lot sadder in retrospect.

Music: Let's Color Today

Now that we have Hitomi's spaceship, we can explore all of Jimmy's dream freely! This includes isolated islands and previously inaccessible areas. If you want to get your bearings using the minimap here: Central Hub The Pulsating Mass is dead center, with all six of the full continents around it. Everchip to the north, Grim Echoes to the east, Homeflower and Sweet Melody obviously to the south, Secret Meridian to the southwest, and Megatropolis to the west. There's a lot of ground to cover here and no set order beyond what area encounters can kick your ass.



For starters, we're going to check out this volcano. The itinerary I have for today is a very good way to get set up for the endgame, but you can of course go wherever you like.



Music

Curious. Give us the sitch, Low-Level Goon.



I'll be real with you: this story took way too long and didn't mention much of anything of note for ages. It's basically Dickens but with more filler and less Victorian era snapshots of life. So I'm just gonna phase it out.



This is what you're actually here for, not this bozo. Once we discover and turn on all 25 lightbulbs, we'll get access to a secret place!



We're doing well but we're not 100% yet.



Music: Let's Color Today

Our first stop isn't somewhere new, but it IS something new.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

There's only one person who could've built something like this out here.



But first, let's check that tunnel out.



yay a frend



Music: Motion Sickness

Most of the enemies in these endgame areas tend to be upgraded versions of and/or thematically matching enemies for the island we meet them on. The Cloud Prince, naturally, is a capable cloud-based enemy, and can attack normally or tense his muscles. This telegraphs either a feinting hilt bash that Startles, slashing with expert precision four times, or going in for the kill to instantly down someone.

We've also got Mrs. Asp. She can either sing someone a lullaby, inject Sickness-inducing venom with a bite, or be unable to stop smiling, which telegraphs a Counter Stance. She can also space out after the telegraph to delay the Counter Stance another turn. She has a unique interaction if fought in the Kingland Arena alongside the two Mr. Asps: after the Elder Mr. Asp berates his son, she'll cheer him up, Motivating him and letting him make an instant attack.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

We've had plenty of the Wilted Lands cave tileset for now, so let's skip it. The tunnel is super short and branches in two directions. To the right: this.



Music: Motion Sickness

The Skitter Bouquet functions almost nothing like its old variant, instead spewing out Sleeping gas on someone or spreading poisonous spores to cause Sickness. The only constant is that stealing the Tasty Apple makes the Skitter Bouquet Angry but heals the party.



Mulvaney might be upgraded from Mortimer, but his combat finesse is about the same. He'll only do normal attacks while undamaged. Afterwards, he'll withdraw into his shell and either use a Barrier or a Counter Stance every turn. You can steal the Combination Lock to disable the withdraw move for the rest of the fight.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

Nice. We'll swap out Brainiac for Sharp Claws and retool Jimmy's selected moves to synergize more with the full-time Punch Tanaka we'll be doing from here on out.



Just to highlight: even in Punch Tanaka form, Jimmy swaps out The Petty Thugs logo for a Jonathon Bear.



Now, I'm by no means a charming gentleman, but might I suggest... talking to him? Just go on up and say hi? I bet you have a ton in common.



EFFORT



Let's check this out.



Sure, no trouble.



So that's what we're up to here, is it? Okay. Jimmy can follow the rules.



Whenever that green text comes up? That's a rule to follow. Like Mr. Beaver says, you can break any rules you want. But I am a good boy or girl, so I follow the rules. Feel free to break as many as you want if you play this yourself, though.



I timed this one out, by the way. You are expected to sit still for a full 43 seconds. So please, follow the rules and stare at that image for 43 seconds.



Rude. If you want us to respect the rules, you need to respect our time here, too.



Ah, well, surely the rest of the rules are okay.

Sure thing. I dunno what it does, but hey.



Bet you're wondering what that other switch does, huh? Well, I'm not telling.



Mr. Beaver, you are not a responsible pet owner. And yes, we can tell the pet is alive, the cage is rattling. It's probably hungry!



Hey, little... whatever's in there. We're not gonna hurt ya.



WELL NOW WE ARE



Music: Motion Sickness

It's just a Mrs. Asp fight where Jimmy starts off Sick with a minor HP loss.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

There's basically no follow-up after any of these things, by the way.



Well that's annoying. Is there a good reason for that, or did you just want to moderately inconvenience Jimmy?



There's a fork up ahead. If we turn right, we progress further. If we don't...



We get a giant winding path.



We'll tackle the path in a second.



The only thing that's restorative is, of course, the junk food in the Vendotron. So we shouldn't mess with it.



Anyway, winding path. It goes a LONG way.



But eventually...



We get the toybox AND follow the rules.



Of course, we keep following the rules on the way back, too.



Nothing stopping us from breaking the rules, of course. But we're gonna follow them.



Ey Counter Stance. Not, uh... not that it does much for us with Lars in the party.



Even outside of Dark Dungeon, Mario Party finds a way.



I don't know if you can replay this one, but the mechanics are slightly different from Dark Dungeon.



For one thing, Mr. Beaver gets to roll the dice. Not Jimmy.



For another, the spaces are different. There's healing spaces for both HP and MP, and that heart space up there will lower your HP slightly.



These green question mark spaces have random effects, but mostly good ones. I've only ever encountered good ones, at any rate.



You CAN get items here, by the way.



No idea what the red exclamation spot does. Probably a random bad effect.

O... kay?



All right. So I guess level 1 items means basic consumables like Ants-on-a-Log, and level 2 items is combat items?



Again, you don't have to follow the rules. You don't have to play the game, and if you do, you can skip spaces and resolve them in whatever order you like.



But again. We're following the rules.



Following the hell out of them.



Lucky me, we nullified this fight a while back.



Hey all right.



I don't know if I'm allowed to use out-of-combat healing on this and I'm not about to risk breaking the rules to find out.



Hey nice! That's the double-strength revive item, just to refresh your memories. So I guess level 3 means high-end restoratives.



Freedom is within reach!



Music: Motion Sickness

Three injury spaces hurts.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

I guess so. The game didn't really have a failure state or competitors or anything. Maybe if an encounter wiped me?



Quantifiably untrue. But we'll humor you.



Like, we could just leave now.



But nah, we're going all the way up here.



And then underneath that bridge.



Back to the path we came from.



And that's it. What was the point of that, might I ask?



Without fail, all of the conditions Mr. Beaver offers for these fights is a pretty significant impediment.



Allow me to demonstrate.



Music: Motion Sickness

A trio of Mulvaneys isn't really a hard fight per se, but it gets more annoying if they retreat into their safes, and of course you lose out on that sweet griftin' money.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

Ugh, waiting is annoying. We don't get big numbers that way.



Music: Motion Sickness

This is a sort of annoying team to wait against, but it's not impossible. The Skitter Bouquet and Mrs. Asp will status ailment spam you hard, and the Cloud Prince can do some heavy damage if he wants to, but even with five turns under their belts we can take 'em.



Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

Come again?



Music: Motion Sickness

Now that's just disrespectful.

Music: Wind-Up Sprocket

No, we cannot agree on that, especially because you didn't make consensus into a rule.



Moving on.



This is the final test for how well you follow the rules.



Do not step off of the yellow line for any reason.



Any reason at all.



No matter how much your heartstrings or greed may tug you otherwise.



Good, we're done!



If you elect to not follow any of Mr. Beaver's rules, this is the part where he calls you out for it. I'm not going to spoil what happens unless you A: ask very nicely, or B: submit a five-paragraph essay on the subject of the representation of science in gaming media as effective magic. Why? Because the rules say so.



For right now, let's get our reward. There is no extra reward for following all the rules, just a lack of punishment.



...Really don't know what to say here. You seem like you have a lot of things on your mind and absolutely no way to organize them.



Sure. Will this take long?



Nope, he was out of the room for literally one full second.



This is why I recommend going for the Ultimate Construction first of all once you get Hitomi's spaceship. I'll demonstrate the true power of what this means in a second.



For right now, since we no longer have to interact with Mr. Beaver ever, LET'S STEAL HIS STUFF.



Lead Coating! It boosts DEF! We're done here!



Don't get your hopes up about any of his other cool stuff, it's all replicas.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Oooh, extra floor!



The second floor has six extra slots for furniture, which remain compatible with everything downstairs. To the left, you'll see our new acquisitions:

The Love Seat (+2 MDF, 1/5 of the Girly Set) in the upper corner...

The Power Core (+2 ATK, 1/5 of the Weird Set) in the lower corner...

And a Still Life (+3 MDF, 1/6 of the Floral Set) next to it.



As for the right side of the upper floor... that there means we've completed our first Monster Set in the form of the Girly Set! While the Girly Set is still only about stat boosts, the boosts afforded are far better than any common set.



We also completed the Weird Set. While the Girly Set's bonus was pretty straightforward, the Weird Set is a little less so. If you're regularly up on your area healing, it's pretty nice.

Anyway, short one today, but mostly because I know the next thing I have planned is going to be just as verbose as Mr. Beaver was, maybe even more so. I need to get better at trimming these updates short anyway.

Next Time: This is the town dump. We store our garbage here so we don't stink up the forest. I don't mind living here because I don't have a nose.

Mr. Kalir, please tell us what happens if you disrespect the beaver's rules!

Please tell us, Kalir. Please please please with a tiny coffee-flavored muffin on top? If only Cordelia could see what she inspired Mr. Beaver to do.

Same thing that happens to all naughty children who break the rules.

Mr. Beaver lectures you about all of the rules you broke, then activates a trap door to a lockdown room, where the only features are monitors displaying Jimmy's face.

In short: a talk, then time out.

Science, of course, is a method of attaining knowledge of how the universe works. Applied science, hereafter referred to as "technology", results in measurable advances in what people can understand and, ultimately, do. These advances allow human beings to do things that previously seemed impossible, for instance, the combination of understanding fluid dynamics, materials engineering, and fundamental physics results in a machine that can fly through the air. To someone unfamiliar with those disciplines, aeronautics might seem like magic.

As Arthur C. Clarke famously said, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Just as someone 200 years ago might not be able to grasp modern aeronautics, who can say what humanity will achieve in another 200 years? We can only speculate, often analyzing the effects of mindbending advances in technology through stories. The term "speculative fiction" has largely overtaken both "science fiction" and "fantasy" as a descriptor of literary genre, for this reason.

To the speculative fiction writer, the difference between feats achieved by ultra-advanced technology and feats achieved by what is exclusively described as magic are largely arbitrary, chosen purely for the flavor of the story being told. In many cases the lines are blurred even within the same story. The Final Fantasy series of games includes magical monsters and spellcasting heroes in the trappings of traditional fantasy, with a recurring theme of collecting plot MacGuffins in the form of magical crystals. It is not until very near the end of Final Fantasy IV, however, that the crystals in that game are revealed to be not magical in nature, but ultra-advanced technology. Their influence over the Aristotlean elements of fire and earth and water purely an informed ability, these crystals are relics from a race of aliens living on the moon used to activate and control the robots they left on Earth (or the "Blue Planet", as it is called in-game).

To continue the example, the character Golbez appears in the series spinoff Final Fantasy Dissidia, representing the fourth game in the series. In Dissidia, Golbez uses several abilities flavored as a result of his high-tech tools, calling back to the alien robots and computers appearing in the game of his origin. These abilities are no more or less powerful or versatile than abilities used by the rest of the cast that are explicitly magical. Blurring the lines further, another character employs electromagnetic particle beams. These are not based on technology as one might expect; they are magical.

The lack of distinction between magic and technology in Final Fantasy is just one example of many. To those familiar with the source, one quote in particular can even more succinctly describe the seemingly-magical effects of advanced technology in video games. All together, now:

"NANOMACHINES, SON."

"You didn't stick your hand in the poisonous snake cage like I told you to, Jimmy. Now go to the creepy monitors room and think about what you did!"

I was really hoping you had a video of that but I totally get not wanting to go through Mr. Beaver's place twice.

If we still even exist and have not reduced ourselves to the Stone Age (or worse).

The Rules were only five paragraphs, I didn't have the space to be cynical.

Music: Let's Color Today

Next up: this little island off the coast of Megatropolis!



Don't know what it is immediately.



Music: Alien Signal

Looks like a village, but all the doors are closed.



We've got a real mystery on our hands, gang!



Hm... that is definitely a dead Information Guy going down the river.



A ways later, we find a deer carcass, and...



Ah, today is zombie day, I see.



Information Guy, as a zombie, can either normally attack, hock up something Sickeningly gross, mutter useless facts, or creep toward you to telegraph a really heavy bite. They've got a ton of health, but they're weak to light. Oh, and the Information you can steal from them?



Somehow even more useless than when he was alive.



They're giant sacks of health, but rarely threatening. In other words, they take about as much time to deal with in death as in life.



Zombies aside, this place is sort of nice. Kinda peaceful, only a little spooky.



Hm. Not exactly an ideal spot here.



That's about right.



This is one of the more coherent pieces of information.



While navigating the cemetery, we have to be cautious of any undisturbed graves. Get too close, and an Information Guy might pop up at you!



Or sometimes right in the middle of your path, you'll get one.



There's a ton of them all over the place.



Kind of annoying, really.



Naturally, the "fastest" way through the cemetery is blocked, too.



Right, we're out.



Haha, morons.



Huh, here's the problem. You really gotta do a proper inspection of your land for any cursed tombs.



Of course, most of the coffins have been disturbed.



Some still rattle with their inhabitants.



Fortunately, most don't.

But we still have to deal with a few more zombies in here.



At this point, my strategy for these fights is to have Andrew and Lars team up, with Analysis and Pulverizing Light for one super-huge hit. Even with their health, it's usually enough to get them close to death in a single blow.



Wonder what's causing this.



Music

Never mind, think we found it.



A few Information Guy zombies fall in. Two is annoying, but we can handle that.



That's a lot, though.



Music: A Cocoon Throbbing in a Dead Man's Mouth

The Totem fight is basically the final stage of the minion-spam style of fights pioneered by Queen Bee and Turnbuckle. It begins play with two Information Guys, then revives all dead ones and adds two more at 80% and 50% health. Like Turnbuckle, its moveset changes depending on whether any are around. With Information Guys active, the Totem will either Counter Stance, Barrier, or its eyes will glow, telegraphing a party-wide version of one of its two moves. If no Information Guys are active, it will instead either use weird mind powers to attack and Startle, or use Mind Controlling delta waves. That's really about all it can do, although it can occasionally revive an Information Guy even outside of the HP threshold checks.

Despite a significant numbers and stat advantage, this fight isn't too scary, simply because the vast bulk of the time, the Information Guys won't do a whole lot, and the Totem only actively attacks if it's alone. Area attacks (and to a lesser extent, damage over time) is still king, because the Totem's power, while significant, isn't usually going to drop whoever's doing the move on their counterattack unless they were already low on health. This is also a great fight for getting used to Punch Tanaka's Called Shot if you haven't done it yet: when the Totem's eyes glow, you obviously don't want to attack everyone and risk as many as seven counters in one go. So just set up for next turn, instead! This is also a great fight for demonstrating the pure power of Karma Release. It's not going to be viable in every fight, but it is one hell of a boss killer.



Yeeeah get them Punch Tanaka levels.



Music: The Noble Sea

If there is a deeper meaning to this area other than just "fear of zombies", then I can't find it and don't want to look for it. And hey, there's a ton of info about why zombies briefly became a ridiculous horror/pop culture phenomenon. Go look at those if you want.



The Encyclopedia Set (+300 ATK) is a kind of hilariously good weapon. In exchange for basically removing half his base skills, you turn Andrew into something beyond. He becomes a monstrously powerful physical attacker that even characters like Buck would have trouble keeping pace with. Again, though: with this equipped, Cryodynamics becomes worthless and Toxicosis isn't much better off, so you need really good manual or badge support to make this work.



Scare Tactic (10 MP) is one of two ways in the game to Startle the entire enemy team (the other, of course, being Intimidating Stare). It's not often that you NEED to Startle an entire team at once, but it's definitely handy if you're facing someone powerful who can calculate with their peers, and if nothing else, giving someone aside from Jimmy Startle is nice. Only one problem: this is a Punch Tanaka exclusive manual. I'll let you all muse on that mystery for a while.



One more nice bit of kit for Andrew. The Witch's Heart packs some serious magical kick, but having passive MP drain makes it a scary proposition for basically anybody except Andrew. Once Jimmy gets Dark Ritual off of 50's Style Vampire, he can rock this for sure, but that's the only other realistic alternative, and that's a LONG way off.



Right, that wraps up this whole zombie thing.



Music: Worm Party

But we're not done with Information Guy at all.



...Huh. Well, THAT'S a reveal, I guess.



Putting the sad part aside: yeah that would be super annoying.



And that's all the monks of Sacred Lantern found. We're still not even gonna try stepping into the Temple of the Inward-Looking Eye.



This is where Mr. Marvelous and Henry Frog have ended up for now.



Ehhhh that sounds fine.



Here's where the Marvelous Coins are used. We can check in with Mr. Marvelous every so often, and he'll give us prizes at certain thresholds. It's like the Seashell Mansion in the remake of Link's Awakening, sort of.



Right on down to the first prize just being another Marvelous Coin. I'll try to pick up some here or there but won't go out of my way to grind for them (which is easiest to do at the Land of Fish, as mentioned, due to Lucky Neko).



We can just talk to him again for the next thing, we're currently at 14.



All of Mr. Marvelous' prizes are optional, and most are gimmicky silly garbage. But hey, we might get to see a lot of them.



I'm sure you'll be very happy together.



This is a very silly place.



Also: because the Information Guys only have one phrase to them, they only ever emote when shaken.

Ms. Robin's stock here is the same as Rubik's inside Central Hub, save for that she's swapped the Bike Chain for the First Edition (+55 ATK). Now that we're swimming in cash, I grab the Automatic Slingshot for Jimmy.



Very normal character development we've got here.



Yeah that's about right.



Jimmy, don't threaten a mother that's protecting her cubs.



This entire area feels very Douglas Adams, in a way.



Well, that's how Advanced Calculus works, I guess. Even if you've got no interest in fiddling with all that mathy stuff, it's good for MAT at least.



They might not be smart, but they're doing their best in life.



I've already talked about, and shown off, secret sets by now. I'll show off others we get if I remember how to get them. I probably won't!



Music: Parabolic Smile

Say, let's work on one right now! I went and bought all of the High-End Set, by the way. In the upper left is the Classy Table (+1 ATK)...

Then there's the Classy Painting (+1 AGI)...

A Classy Vase (+1 MDF)...

And the Classy Lamp (+1 LUK).



This is a pretty nice boost for a Common Set.



But it can't even come close to competing with a hidden set. This set, composed of the Framed Butterfly, Classy Painting, Ink Blot, Abstract Art, and Still Life, is the most powerful MAT furniture booster in the game. That's the hidden value of the Classy Set: not only is the set good for common, but many of its pieces are involved in one hidden set or another.



Music: March of the Corgis

Well that wasn't as long as I'd expected it to be. LET'S GET SASSY.



Music: The Mad Queen's Marching Orders

There's always a little truth to every legend.



So if the Legato Knights sealed their old Queen within this mirror, we're going to meet her at some point in this nightmare zone. That music ain't normal area music, I tell you that.



All of the enemies here are themed after poker cards. First up, we have the King of Diamonds, who can either attack normally or creep toward you, telegraphing an attack that uses your own wealth against you. Don't worry, though, you need to have more than $27,500 for this to be any scarier than a normal attack.

He's accompanied by a Joker here. Jokers will either smile, or draw a wild card, which will either fully heal or instantly kill any one participant in the fight.



Getting good at showing up for these areas right at level par.



Oh, hello.



Riddles, huh?



Oh, I know this one. The word "pound" has a double meaning here! The "pound" of dogs refers to the place where stray dogs are sent! Did I win?



Maybe you just suck at riddles. Or maybe you just asked a question with more than one answer so you could call ours wrong.



Whatever the case, we're going down here.



Deposited right next to this rabbit head on a stick.



I guess when the Queen got sealed away, she just went right on ruling this other place.



The Queen of Hearts can attack, order someone's HP and MP to swap places, or glare at you disdainfully, which telegraphs an order to swap everyone's HP and MP. While this sounds scary, especially for people with skewed stats in those areas like Lars, it's pretty beneficial on the whole, since this almost always translates to MP gain.



Again with the inky water. Hm.

The Ace of Spades can attack normally, cut your attack in half to inflict Unmotivated, or watch you, telegraphing an area version of the Unmotivating attack.



Oh boy it's time for the card maze.



This area is big and confusing and the music is awful and we're not high leveled enough to cancel encounters yet and I dislike it.



Remember the Ace of Spades moveset? Okay, now swap the Unmotivated for Unguarded, make him slower and heavier, and you basically have the Jack of Clubs. I dunno, man, the playing card aesthetic here for the encounters is cool, but the actual fights are pretty tepid.



Probably what makes this maze so confusing is that it's hard to know what direction you're supposed to head in. It's virtually impossible to tell what's out-of-bounds and what's a path you can actually take.



Aha, it's this archway.



Man why is everyone here listening to the Queen? She sounds like a terrible ruler.



I'd rather not.



Another rabbit head?



Caterpillar's games are very bad and someone should stop them.



Past them is a giant chessboard. White seems to be missing their king, though.



Even factoring that out, this definitely looks like Black's game.



Back in.



That's Called Shot unlocked for general use. Definitely putting that on Jimmy form, but I'm using Punch Tanaka form so much that I don't think it needs a general slot.



Right, let's give a stupid answer to your gross riddle.



Not even gonna wait for the answer before telling us we're wrong, huh?



This place suuuuuucks



Jimmy's really good at escaping jail cells by now.



And a good thing, too.



Like, this place is pretty bare by most standards, but if you want torture implements? Boy howdy do we have those.



Pretty gutsy for a monarch to keep a guillotine in their torture chamber, gotta say.



Now that's just unreasonable.



Right, we're not just escaping, we're gonna trounce this Queen.



Not really familiar with the castle interior though, we keep getting trapdoored.



Let's track that caterpillar down!