Fresh. Let's Play Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass!

Music

We can hear waves and seabirds.



Just Jimmy and Lars for now.



Well, they can't have gone far. The World's Library is high up, but it's also not moving like the Iron Flamingo was.



Well, I'm glad you did. Neither of you likes being alone.



Y'know what? Sure.



Music: Dead Whale

Lars goes off to find a frisbee, and we're here taking our break.



His toss goes over Jimmy's head by a bit.



Jimmy isn't as good at throwing the frisbee, though.



But hey, it's nice to relax.



Let's just enjoy some disc toss.



You'll get it eventually, Jimmy.



Lars gives this one a real toss, and... oh no.



Oooh, headshot. Sorry about that!



Lars? That apology was so bad I think you need to apologize for it.



You don't hit someone with a frisbee and try to flirt off of that, dude.



Music

A little while later, we get to the primary reason I stopped the previous update where I did.



Music: Morning Lullaby

Because on the one hand: Lars is a really tragic character. That depression of his feels very real, and in a lot of ways you can see that it's causing him to be much harsher on himself than he should be, but also getting him to doubt himself and not do anything but laze around as a result. He must've been really close to his mom, given pretty much all that we've seen of GAMM-E. He's wrong that nobody cares about him, as seen with Helga, and he's probably the nicest overall person to Jimmy that we've seen besides Helga.



On the other hand, what the actual hell Lars. Yes, it's heartbreaking to see someone who can't love themselves unless someone else loves them in turn, but you really want to spring this racist garbage at Jimmy?



Remember: we went straight from that part in the last update, falling out of The World's Library and the scene that followed it, to this beach scene, where Lars fails to hit on a lady at the beach and then tells his eight-year-old nephew he wants an Asian girlfriend. That is some serious tonal whiplash.



Music

So with THAT, we move on to the sixth island of the game.



Music: Let's Color Today

What a way to kick off the island of Megatropolis. This would be the "big city" mentioned every so often, and... to be honest, this is my least favorite island in the game. It has a few really good points, but as bad as Lars' beach scene was, it's a pretty appropriate tone-setter, I'm sorry to say.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Let's go showcase a bunch of furniture, since I'm behind on that.



Got us a ton to showcase. From left to right, we have the Coffin (+2 DEF, 1/5 of the Creepy Set)...

A Colorful Lamp obtained from the Variable Fish (+2 MDF, 1/5 of the Scaly Set)...

A Fossil (+2 DEF, 1/5 of the Weird Set)...

And a Rainbow (+2 LUK, 1/5 of the Weird Set).



Also got ourselves a Pyramid (+3 MAT, 1/6 of the Geometric Set).



And a Bookshelf (+4 MAT). Like the Slab of Beef, this isn't part of a set that we're aware of. Those Hidden Sets are still lurking in the shadows. Maybe I'll look up on the wiki if we have any yet!

Huh, that's new. Guess that must be the merger Mr. Grouse was talking about back in Calm Valley.



Music: Let's Color Today

Anyway, let's get this started. Welcome to Bonita Vista, seaside tourist spot and slayer of Calm Valley's means.



Music: Dead Whale

There's a bank and fountain right by the start, rather superfluous given the Clubhouse. But hey.



I'd say this is the end of Captain Fish's adventures, but he'll find a way. Punch Tanaka did, after all.



Why did you name your kid Guppy Fish.



...It's that easy, huh. Well, thanks for wrecking LeGrange's summer home to make a sidequest of our easier, Captain Fish? I guess?



Most of the beachgoers here don't have a lot to say, but I think a large part of that is just Jimmy being extremely shy about them. This girl is the only one that seems to be having a bad time, but we don't know why.



Man we're just stepping from awkward to awkward here, huh.



We've seen Mr. Mouse once before, in his past. Something big went down that hit him hard at Ashby's. Big enough for him to ditch his family, horrible as that is.



Timothy Mouse storms off. We should leave him be for now.



Time for Ms. Robin's stock again!



Roughhouse (20 MP) is the physical version of Thermal Bomb. As is the case, it's slightly less damage than the magical one, but that shouldn't impact your willingness to use it. More area attacks are good!



I'll buy the furniture she sells here, of course. Will I actually use it? No. But furniture.



That's what you have to say for yourself? You abandon your four kids and don't even try to contact them?



Whatever happened in the past, it's apparently hardened Mr. Mouse a lot. He's still a horrible person.



Anyway, enough about that jerk. Let's explore Bonita Vista.



Unlike most of the ladies here, Lovie has no problems talking to us, at great length.



That's less spooky and more just sad.



Only a little bit south, we hear someone call for help.



Music: Knuckle Sandwich and Ladyfingers

Dang it, Punch! I said aim for land! Land and ocean are not the same!



Through a combination of shifting tide and panicked flailing, he makes it to shore eventually.



Sure, buddy.



Well, I'm still mad at you for leaving the one lead we had for destroying the Pulsating Mass (a book) in the ocean (a biome wholly unsuited for books).



Music

But I'm not gonna turn down Punch Tanaka as a new party member.



Music: Dead Whale

No joking! Punch Tanaka has finally decided to get on Team Jimmy proper! As usual, his stats are very telegraphed by his role in the story: sky-high LUK, good ATK and AGI, less good DEF and MDF, absolutely no MAT to speak of. He's a pretty solid physical attacker, if perhaps not as durable as Lars (or Buck, if he were at a comparable level and not currently a Giger/Liefeld) would be.



Punch Tanaka might have a heart of gold, but he's still one of The Petty Thugs, and that comes with a certain level of badditude that lends itself to Shifty moves. His starting gear is a Blackjack (+30 ATK):

And, naturally, his Leather Vest (+30 DEF/+20 MDF):

Punch Tanaka is the sole practitioner of Tanakarate martial arts, which give him pretty much the same capabilities he's always had as a boss fight. It's a pretty decent moveset on the whole, if perhaps not quite as suited to protagonist use as it would be to boss fight use. Let's give it a look.

Counter Stance (3 MP) doesn't have Lars' unique flavor text for use, but it's exactly the same move otherwise. It's less useful for Punch than for Lars, because Lars can use Undulate to force people to attack him. Punch really only gets use out of this if there's a wide-ranging attack that's likely to actually go for him, and showing up alongside Lars does this move no favors.

Called Shot (10 MP) lets Punch duplicate the kind of power we'd see from enemy telegraphed moves. This is a VERY strong way to set up for a powerful attack that's only just coming off cooldown, and guarantees Punch a niche for physical spike damage. Technically, you can use this on magical moves too, but if you're using magic on Punch you're doing it wrong.

Shakedown (5 MP) is Punch's basic way to steal, and he's got very good stats for it even without his Shifty personality. The attack added onto the steal is a bit of a mixed blessing: if you're fishing for rare furniture, it's bad, because you're going to chip down whoever you're stealing from. If you're aiming for stuff that gives in-combat bonuses, it's a lot nicer, since you check for the steal after dealing damage.

Magnificent Combo (15 MP) makes a welcome return in the form of Tanakarate. Punch shares the same low MP that held Buck back and doesn't have as good of functionality when empty, but he also has Called Shot. Doubling the damage on Magnificent Combo is Punch's bread and butter. Or it would be, except that we can buy a Roughhouse manual right before we get Punch and area attacks are still super good.



Anyway, four boxes. So maybe a nightmare zone, but probably not.



I'm not sure whether Bonita Vista and Sunset Beach are separate areas or not, I've seen both terms and I think they refer to this general place. Whatevs.



Lightbulb up here. Can't reach it.



This part of the beach is less populated and has a lot more trash.



Music: Beat Squad

The only encounters along Sunset Beach are the Beach Babes. Jimmy will be too Afraid to do much of anything for a few turns, if not the entire fight, so it's up to Lars and Punch to handle things. Frisbee Beach Babe will throw the frisbee, then spend her next turn apologizing and running to get it. Surfer Beach Babe will head for a gnarly wave, and then either shred into someone for heavy damage, or wipe out and be instantly defeated. Hula Hoop Beach Babe attacks twice a turn with her hula hoop, and also has a Beach Ball to steal.



Music: Dead Whale

Hey, toybox.



Weird name for this track.



Music: Beat Squad

Volleyball Beach Babe is the only other kind we'll find in these fights. She'll either do a normal attack or shield her eyes from the sun. I'm not 100% sure why we're fighting Beach Babes to be honest. I'm going to just blame Lars if that's cool.



Music: Dead Whale

Huh, what's all this then?



Oh. That's why the track is called that, then.



Let's just... move along.



We run into a fishing crane, wriggling heavily with the latest catch.



The line snaps, and a pile of fish comes tumbling out.



There's also a dad in there.



Good to see you're... well, unharmed, at least.



I know he's being fatalistic here, but you still gotta admire Andrew just saying "it doesn't matter if you punch me in the face."



ALSO THIS TEAM'S GONNA GET ALONG GREAT HUH



So yeah. No sign of Helga or Buck for now. We're running team Lars/Punch/Andrew. On the one hand, Helga is great and I already miss her. On the other hand, IT'S HAPPY LITTLE SUNFLOWER'S TIME TO SHINE. Get those Happy Little Sunflower levels in, and get accustomed to using Lars' self-sustain moves.



Well, let's keep moving.



Music: Rhythm Factory

Welcome to Shinryu Fish Concern.



Andrew's intuition was right, they've got the Secret Knowledge. Now we have to get to it.



No upper level access in here.



One of the employees from the next room over grabs the Secret Knowledge off the processing line.



Music: Beat Squad

The Beach Babes earlier weren't any kind of serious encounters, but the enemies in Shinryu Fish Concern are. The Vendotron is a pretty heavy opponent, but they're only heavy because they have so many goodies! Here's a menu of things you can obtain through Grifting. Note that you might not actually get what you want if your hand gets stuck, which will leave you Grasped.



Oh, the actual moves? Uhhh it can normal attack, rampage for three hits but tire itself out next turn, or activate its anti-theft protocol, which guarantees anyone going for a steal gets their hand stuck.

The Bonus Catch will either attack and hit four times, or use all of its legs at once to hit someone hard. If injured, it'll also sometimes emit an ink cloud and flee from the fight.

Music: Rhythm Factory

Oh no, they got mystery fish!



We can pursue the Secret Knowledge by going up, so obviously SIDE GARBAGE



Music: Beat Squad

The Fish Bucket has a ton of health and defenses for this stage of the game, but virtually no AGI. The first three turns of the fight, it will spawn in a Mr. Fish Head friend. After that, it turns into a Bonus Catch. What does a Mr. Fish Head look like?



Yeah that tracks. Mr. Fish Head can do a normal attack, flop its tail around to hit the party, or hock up something gross to inflict Sick. It can also space out, which telegraphs either a tail flop, a powerful bite, or a foul odor that deals damage and inflicts Sick.



Music: Rhythm Factory

Yeeeah Work Uniform (+32 DEF/MDF).



Another side room? Oh you're too kind.



Two Vendotrons in here will vend things at us. How do I know they're Vendotrons?



Uh... no reason.



Defeating the one on the right in mortal combat opens up a secret path.



We all know what that means!



Bloop!



Knocking out lots of these lightbulbs.



...I see we've found the Pulsating Mass' form for this area.



Oh no. Oh that's not good.



Literally just handed off the Secret Knowledge to the Pulsating Mass.



As before, nobody sees anything wrong with this thing literally just having a pustule for a head.



The two part ways as though the manager didn't just hand over the one thing that could stop the Pulsating Mass over to it.



We'll pursue the Pulsating Mass! ...From a survivable distance!



First, this hallway.



What's up we got a Fish Knife (+30 ATK, +10 MAT).



Next branch.



Actually nah, manager's office. Why? I DUNNO LOL



Guess the big city's official name is Shinryu.



Music: Beat Squad

Gracious Employees don't appreciate us being back here, because then they're obligated to stop us as part of that whole corporate loyalty thing. They can do a normal attack, sharpen their knife to become Motivated, or get serious about work to telegraph a four-hit precision slashing attack. He stays working while fighting, too: if the turn ends with any Mr. Fish Heads active, he'll gut them, instantly killing them and boosting his stats for the fight.



Music: Rhythm Factory

Right, let's see where this goes.

It's time to meet mystery fish!



I don't want people to eat mystery fish. They're our shy weird buddy!



But, uh... can we maybe table the wish for now?



Sounds good.



With imagination, that's how!



Can't help you there.



Just about done here, Shinryu Fish Concern's a pretty small facility on the whole.



Just gotta run back along the processing line...



Nice.



Those are some pretty sound deductions, but uh... what assurance do we have that The Pulsating Mass cannot destroy one (1) waterlogged book? I could destroy a soggy book. I'd do it right now but I don't have any and don't want to make one.



Music: Let's Color Today

Anyway, Shinryu is cool, but y'know what else is cool?



Music: Parabolic Smile

Taking one look at it and then ignoring it in favor of side garbage.

Ms. Robin is now selling the Space Set, which has a Moon (+1 ATK)...

And a Space Ship (+1 AGI).



Music

Right, I already tried this area last update, but never showed it. This time, we're playing for keeps.



Nice normal looking cave.



There's a few terminals in here...



But none of them seem to be working properly.



Welcome to the next nightmare zone. And this one, unlike most of the rest, actually has a name.



Music: Counting Backwards from Infinity

We call this one Asymmetrical Cavern.



While Symmetrical Cavern was clear, well-ordered, and full of puzzles that could be easily solved, Asymmetrical Cavern is a chaotic noisy mess.



It's just as twisty and winding as Slither's cavern, but there's more to it than just that.



For one thing, the enemies here all work in bizarre ways. Lumpagons are sturdy foes that attack with a random number generator, dealing anywhere from 1 to 400 damage.

The Parallelocones, in sharp contrast, only ever attack by firing a 138, which does exactly that much damage each time.



The paths also don't 100% line up in an overworld sense.



Oh hey televisions how are you.



The screens occasionally flash nonsense numbers at us.



Squiggles are immune to all physical attacks. They'll either do a normal attack, or calculate, telegraphing either a Weakpoint reveal on a party member, or glitching out to self-damage.

Rorschach has five different forms, each of which does one and only one thing. You can tell its properties by its shape: if it's in the shell form seen here, it will reflect all magic but take no actions that do anything. There's also an avian form that dodges all physical attacks and uses weird mind powers to Startle, a sun form that heals all enemies, a grinning form that bites down hard, and a thorn form that counters all physical moves and will do a normal attack.

Finally, there's Spiraloid, which attacks your MP rather than your HP. If you steal its one Edge, it glitches out, doing nothing, and will have a high chance of doing this again on future turns.



This area is a complete mess, but it's thankfully pretty linear for now.



That wasn't so bad, what've you got for us?



Huh, dead end. All right then.



But, of course, when we leave, we're somewhere else entirely.



At this point we start teleporting more or less at random. I wasn't here just a second ago, there wasn't a pit behind me.



We'll hit dead ends every so often, but there's always somewhere new (maybe?) to go. It's kind of a trip.



That used to be a path, too.



Music: Parabolic Smile

OH. Okay. We're back at the Path of Enlightenment out of the blue.



Well, long as we're here, may as well refresh ourselves.



...That did not taste very refreshing.



Hey, Pointman? Care to help us out here?



That is not helpful.



SERENITY NOW



Music: Counting Backwards from Infinity

Yeah that's about what I expected.



There's four paths we can take from the monitors..



But each time we try one, we end up warped back here.



We even try the same path more than once.



We just keep ending up at the same place.



Right up until we suddenly don't.



Music

...Nope, don't like this. I can hear something making a squishing noise.



You... doing okay there?



GONNA TAKE THAT AS A NO



Music: Counting Backwards from Infinity

Whatever that was, we aren't allowed to stick around before this place decides otherwise.



Once that happens, get ready, because before you know it the floor will go out from under you.

We end up at a distinct lack of somewhere.



I don't know that I'd say we're at someone either... but we're definitely in for a fight.



Music: A Cocoon Throbbing in a Dead Man's Mouth

Thematically, Imaginary Numbers is a cool as hell boss, with mechanics to support the feeling of fighting some incomprehensible, non-Euclidean thing, more error than concept. It has a passive 30% chance to evade and/or counter physical attacks, or to reflect magical attacks. It has six "phases", but each one is cycled through on every turn. It starts at 1, and will move up a phase each turn, unless it glitches out. This can happen on any phase except 1, and will cause Imaginary Numbers to self-damage and resets it to 1. Here's the moveset!

• Phase 1: It can either normal attack, use an ice spell, fire a 138, space out to no effect, ER#&&T7 to attack someone but treat their current HP as their DEF, or do a feinting hilt bash to deal minor damage and Startle.
• Phase 2: It can Leech, hock up something gross to inflict Sick on the party, whiz by with an open palm to slap the party, attack your MP directly, or glitch out, as above.
• Phase 3: It can either cause a thunderstorm to damage and Startle everyone with magic, seek out a Weakpoint on someone, attack with a random number generator for 0-350 damage, or glitch out, as above.
• Phase 4: It can either do a three-hit rampage, PRZ*(XX)@ to attack, subbing in the ATK of the target in place of its own, or glitch out, as above.
• Phase 5: It will either +nnnnnn(27) to attack someone, subbing in their current HP in place of its ATK, or glitch out, as above.
• Phase 6: It will activate Program Omega to deal KILLING YOU levels of physical damage, or glitch out, as above.

It's all put together for a very neat simulation of a boss that just does not operate by the same expected rules of the game... but it's also a major pain in the ass because of how RNG everything is. I don't know what the weighting on its actions are, particularly Program Omega, but in a lot of ways it doesn't feel like I won this fight because I had a good strategy so much as that the dice let me. The safest play is to use Toxicosis and Toxic Sludge (ideally with Concentrate up on the turn you apply it since that's when the damage is calculated) but then you have to worry about Program Omega coming out more often. As soon as you see that +nnnnnn(27), that's your tell to start playing mega cautious and hope that Imaginary Numbers glitches out. Beyond that: you CAN attack normally, just be prepared for the possibility that your attack will fail, or worse, wipe out the attacker.



WOO I DID IT



Music: The Noble Sea

So, Asymmetrical Cavern as a nightmare zone. On the surface, it's pretty straightforward to take it as a fear of glitches, malfunction, things that cannot be explained but that indicate Something Has Gone Terribly Wrong. Y'know, basically every creepypasta about "at first I thought it was a hacked copy".

A lot of people, though, tend to interpret this in a way more personal for Jimmy. As we've seen, he's a pretty sharp kid when it comes to math, and that's a strength both he and Andrew have been pretty eager to push ahead with. As we've also seen, he has some other difficulty in his studies. So a lot of people take this nightmare zone, and Imaginary Numbers with it, as a lurking fear that as good as Jimmy is with math, eventually he's going to hit a wall he can't overcome with it, despite the pressure from Andrew to see his sons learn more. And if he can't do math, then he loses a strength of his, and that's always rough. While this viewpoint isn't really one I think 100% fits the area, I can see where they're coming from.

I still like it more as a fear of glitches though.



Fittingly, the primary reward for the area is Advanced Calculus (+20 ATK, +50 MAT), a seriously nice weapon for Andrew. You can throw it on as a MAT-booster for sure, but there is a secret property that makes his physical attacks far better than his stats would indicate... sometimes. I'm gonna keep it hidden for now though because I can.



Furniture again.



We also get the 138 Gun, which... there's probably SOME way to make this thing work. I'll have to try it on some physically-immune enemies and see if it sticks, because if so, this may just open a whole new way to break apart some lategame bonus bosses. If you're playing conventionally, though, you're better off using something that actually increases your stats that you want.



Right, let's show off that new furniture and call it for today.



Music: Perspectives of the Maypole

Also briefly checking in at Calm Valley now that the few visitors they did have are gone.



NO!!!!!



DOAG IS SAD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Guess Rubik left Cubbins behind as stated.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Okay fine here's the Ink Blot (+3 ATK, 1/6 of the Geometric Set). BYE

Next Time: Oh, hello, Jimmy. I'm just hanging out by the trash. Because I'm trash, you see.

When we saw Mr. Mouse depressed and crying in that flashback at Ashby's I was half-expecting to learn later that he flung himself off the bridge Punch Tanaka leapt from, or died by whatever killed everybody else there.

I did not expect him to both be alive and a family-abandoning jerk!

My workplace has a new hire this week named Sequoia Wood. It happens.

Music: My Animal Friends

Checking in at Smile again. Cordelia is still missing, unfortunately.



Henry Frog, at least, is getting in some deserved R&R.



Oh, Mr. Beaver's also disappeared. But then again, that last muffin really got him going full steam with new plans. I'll keep an eye out for him all the same.



Music: March of the Corgis

Anyway, we've reunited all of the Legato Knights.



We don't get a reward for this immediately.



And that's because if we try fighting them now, THEY WILL ANNIHILATE US. Like, put it this way: Roland alone has nearly as much HP as Imaginary Numbers, and hits WAY harder. We already saw what Coltrane can do, and his stats are higher than they were before, too.



Bad news: Helga is gone. Good news: HELGA CANNOT STOP US.



Mine mine mine mine mine



...Oh. Oh, dear.



We're given a pretty serious warning before we commit to the dungeon, which we'll see the reason for when we enter.



Music: The Vanishing Carnival

This is... a very spacious toybox.



Well, new place to explore, I suppose.



Hey, nice.



So here's the gimmick for the dungeon. The toyboxes in here don't hold items, but just the bonus effects we can get from opening them. The more ruby chests we open, the better the end reward.



But that's a problem for two reasons.



The first is that this dungeon is a habitat for Mimics. They're capable of normal attacks or watching you, which telegraphs either a three-hit biting frenzy or biting down and spitting out the remains of someone, instakilling them.



That wasn't too bad, though.



Here's the other problem:



Every other toybox contains something that makes the fights in here harder. Sure, we fought that one Mimic okay, but now the next one will get the same Power Up! buff that things on danger spaces in Dark Dungeon get.



This is why you aren't allowed to save in here, by the way. Because toybox contents are fixed for this area, being able to save means you could take the sting out of the area, savescumming every time you're about to open a toybox and reloading if it's not rubies. If you're going in with a guide on tap, you can still avoid the worst of the area by looking at a map. I did not do this, because I am not a coward.



Every confidence box makes the Mimics stronger, with a 20% stat boost. I think there's five boxes of confidence in total.



If you're hoping the wallpaper patterns will give clues: no. They do not.



If you do want a clue, this is one I figured out on my own: there is one, and only one, ruby box in each room. So once you find it, you can ignore the rest of the room and go for the exit.



Not that one.



Okay cool, to the far left of the entrance.

But I'm still gonna open a bunch of them, because we still haven't found a box with sparkles or love in it yet.



I'm already regretting it.



If you think this is silly, you have not yet seen what this place can really do.



This place is laughing at me.



But for whatever reason, I keep stepping into the punchline first.



So we can just leave this room if we really want to, but there's rubies to find first.



If you try to exit through this door, this happens.



IT'S ALL MIMICS ALL THE WAY DOWN



The rubies for this room are all the way on the right, right next to the door Mimic.



Still nothing new in here.



There's no random encounters here. Every single fight is one you bring on yourself, unless it's in the way.



Expardon me?



Guess I remembered that from my last playthrough.



And that. Damn it, memory, why must you ruin surprises? You make Camelot cry, as is only fair considering what they did.



So this is a nice find, especially since these Mimics are starting to get spicy.



More door mimics up here.



Except the doors aren't always Mimics per se, just statues. Which would be your clue for checking out the statues, I guess.



Oh hey, this door is sparkles! What you got for me?



OH



Really gotta find those rubies. Well... we don't. But now I want to find them before hitting another Mimic.



GUESS I'LL DIE



Music: March of the Corgis

So yeah, we got wiped, that sucked, got kicked out of the area.



Music: The Vanishing Carnival

The good news: all toyboxes remain opened, save for the Mimics respawning, so we can't get sparkled or give them a Disembodied Eyes boost anymore. The bad news: all those toyboxes remain opened, so those confidence boosts are still in play.



Anyway screw that room for now.



After working off that steam, I come back and head up and to the right to find the rubies for this room.

And this one, while we're at it!



Of course this wouldn't be that easy.



Note that if something is a disguised toybox, you don't get the option to not open it.



Move.



Door on the right, then!



These mindgames are getting pretty annoying.



Okay, that's the actual path.



They, thankfully, warn you that the boss is up ahead, and even offer a save prompt since that's not normally available here.



Music

The door slams shut behind us, and we're faced with a giant pile of treasure.



The massive piles of coins throb as we approach.



Time to fight the biggest, baddest Mimic of all.



Music: A Cocoon Throbbing in a Dead Man's Mouth

As with the rest of the dungeon, the Golden King gets more difficult based on how greedy you are. It has four piles of Treasure you can steal from it, each of which slightly lowers the Golden King's defenses and improves your reward at the end of the fight, but also fully heals it, expands its movepool and generates a stronger Miasma effect. If you don't steal anything, then the Golden King does nothing except watch you... but you also get no money for the fight. Steal from it once, and it'll absorb darkness to heal itself, which chains into a wave of negative energy that inflicts Withering on a party member. Steal from it twice, and it can materialize tentacles around someone to Grasp them, dealing damage at the start of each turn. Steal a third time, and it can now attack and use Mind Controlling waves, in addition to changing its negative energy attack to hit all party members, and the watching being a telegraph for a two-hit tentacle whip. Steal everything, and it can also hock up Acid on someone, in addition to its whip attack improving to four hits and the watching telegraph also possibly being for inflicting Sick on the party.

Winning this fight is easy. Winning this fight while getting a payoff you're comfortable with is a little harder. You need to have a good sense of how much punishment you can take and how quickly you can bring down the Golden King. If you're going for all four treasures like I didn't do here, you need to go as ham as you possibly can right from the word go, because the Golden King gains new moves, but doesn't have better stats, just better moves. And unlike the Mutt fight, we don't have Helga here to keep the chip damage at bay. We have Jimmy as Happy Little Sunflower and a Rejuvenate manual, which isn't nearly enough. It is possible to open the chest leading to this area first, and come back after we find Helga again, but where's the sport in that?



In any case, we didn't get an actual money in the fight...



Music: The Noble Sea

But GOOD GRAVY we got a payout for it.

Once again, there's two factors here: how many treasures you steal from the Golden King midfight, and how many toyboxes with rubies you open. If we were to try for that last treasure and pull it off, we'd be up to 50000 dollars!



And we still get toybox loot out of this! The Coinpurse (+30 ATK/MAT) is a pretty solid bit of Helga kit at this stage of the game, and the extra money is super nice if you didn't get enough here for your tastes.



Obligatory furniture, and...



Lucky Numbers (25 MP) is one of the few straight buffing moves in the game. The fact that it's only to LUK isn't that great for most intents, but it's good for when you're fishing for a rare steal, or trying to line up a Mecha Super Ball finisher. Ideally you want it on someone fast so as to maximize the number of turns you can milk the benefit for, but Punch is our fastest character who can equip it, and he's frequently the guy who would want the boost.



Anyway, that's the Halls of Greed for you!

Which, yeah, name says it all. This dungeon is absolutely a fear of being consumed by greed. People want more things so they can live better lives, but there's always that lurking feeling that you might be biting off more than you can chew, and that everything has a price even if it feels free. Kind of a complex fear for an eight-year-old to be wrestling with, if you ask me, but this dungeon had a cool idea to it, at least.



Music: March of the Corgis

And yeah. Once you're ready for the Halls of Greed (getting Punch is always a good time for it but you can also wait until after the next area), hit it and rake it in.



Music: Beep Beep Boop Village

I tried my hand at the Raspberry Cup, but didn't quite make it through. I escaped the seventh round intact, scoring a cool 140 points for my trouble, and immediately invested in an Earth Badge.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Ayyy we got a Harp (+3 MAT, 1/6 of the Musical Set).



Music: Dead Whale

Emboldened by my success at the Halls of Greed, I promptly go to Sunset Beach and start pissing off every Beach Babe in a ten mile radius. Why, you might ask?



Music: A Cocoon Throbbing in a Dead Man's Mouth

Because it turns out Lovie was telling the truth for once.

The drowned Beach Babe is a rare encounter on the shores of Sunset Beach, and a boss battle in her own right. I don't know if you have to be by the whale for her to appear or not, but I like to be over there. She can thicken the water around everying to deal damage and inflict Sticky, grab someone with an icy hand to damage and inflict Afraid, cry to no effect, or pull someone underwater to inflict Drowning, which will drop the victim in two turns. She can also rise above the water, which both causes Jimmy to become Afraid and telegraphs the tide swallowing the party, inflicting Drowning on everyone. Startling the Beach Babe will end any Drowning effects.

She's not a very hard fight, you can tackle her right after getting Andrew no problem. As long as you're judicious with your Startle effects, her damage output isn't too bad and she has no real tricks to disrupt people except the icy hand thing. Just make sure you can interrupt if someone starts Drowning and you'll take home the win.



Music: Dead Whale

As far as most of the beach is concerned, nothing happened. Lovie is still telling whatever stupid rumors she makes up, everyone else is enjoying the beach.



But we did, at least, put a lost soul to a peaceful rest.



So, the drowned Beach Babe doesn't really fit the exact mold of a nightmare zone, but she's still representative of a fear of Jimmy's. And as with Imaginary Numbers, this one could be sort of two-pronged. On the one hand: the fight is all about not drowning, so there's a fear there for sure. On the other hand, there's the tale of her backstory, where she didn't really want to get in the water but was being pressured by all of her "friends" against her own self-preservation. That's a pretty significant fear there, especially for someone as shy as Jimmy. It's telling that all of his party members so far have been either family members or imaginary friends. We already know he's pretty shy, and he's probably not super keen on getting close to people who might want him to do dangerous things. Hell, you could even draw attention to that this fear ISN'T hidden away by a labyrinthine dungeon, but just tucked in the middle of a bunch of otherwise light-hearted people having fun, which is still enough to leave Jimmy Afraid.



In any case, we get a reward out of this bit too, even if it's smaller.

Music: Parabolic Smile

Two new pieces of furniture, not technically from any set. Below us is the Framed Butterfly (+4 MDF):

And next to us is the Bronze Jimmy:

While the Bronze Jimmy itself grants no points, the fact that it can wildcard for a common set is sort of nice. Unfortunately, that still means the math on our sets favors just assorted rare and un-set furniture rather than set-building: we can have eight boosts of either +3 or +4, or one boost of +4, two boosts of +5, and six boosts of +1.



Music: Let's Color Today

Anyway. Let's dip our toes into Megatropolis proper. While there's a lot of locations we can enter, most of them don't actually have much for us to do at the moment.



We'll start by checking out the company that was doing the merger with the First Bank of Grouse.



Music

It's quiet here. This sort of place is all business.



This is another reason why tackling the Halls of Greed when you're ready is a good idea. You really want that extra cash to be able to get access to that luncheon.



No way we're getting in without it. These bodyguards make Buck look like a wimp.



Music: Let's Color Today

Anyway, let's head downtown.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Shinryu isn't a very large location, but if you're talking business, it's massive. This is the obligatory super-store area of any given RPG.



Ms. Robin isn't even gonna try on this one, and I don't blame her.



Anyway, we need to return the magic fish to their home, so.



I'd like to do this before going for the mercantile end of things, so no time like the present!



Well, while we're in the area, we'll say hi to Gero.



Music

Anyway, time to visit the Land of Fish.



Music: Samurai Children

...All right then.



This is where we're keeping our memories of Lars, huh?



Guess so.



So, the Land of Fish is a pretty important spot, and not just because it's home to memories of Lars.



Music: Beat Squad

No, there's also the fact that this place is very much built for grinding in one way or another. Rad Ghosts make their homes here, and at this point they're slow enough that even Andrew can sometimes outspeed them.



Music: Samurai Children

But we'll cover both things as we go.



Lars? Get help for yourself. Please.



Music: Beat Squad

Nice of the remaining important enemies to group up for a photo like this. (Mr. Fish Head is also in this area. Ignore him.) Anyway, the Super Rad Ghost is the upgraded version of the Rad Ghost. It has the same moveset as the Rad Ghost, except that its Ennui move targets the entire party. It also has a ludicrous 500 AGI, meaning that it would take both the Rad Sneakers and Hyperactivity for Jimmy to even think of outspeeding it. It has enough health and defense to take a beating, but if you can take one down? You get 10,000 XP for doing that. That's higher than the drowned Beach Babe, which was a full-on boss fight.

Unlucky Nekos are the worst things here. It will either watch you, or tear out someone's guts to instakill them, and they're pretty dang fast on their own. They're mostly here to balance out encounters with the Super Rad Ghost and the other enemy here...

The Lucky Neko carries not only a Maneki-Neko piece of furniture, but two Marvelous Coins: one that can be grifted away, and one that drops on defeat. Taking down a Lucky Neko is tricky, though: they only ever use Counter Stance or Barrier. After three turns pass, it'll run away.



Music: Samurai Children

Yay a thing.



This area isn't very big compared to the other memory caves, thankfully. (Can this even be called a cave?)



Head left at that fork for the track.



Gonna head left here too, why not.

Guess this is around where GAMM-E died.



Fish samurai statues.



Nearly done here. The encounters aren't too bad outside of Unlucky Neko, but they take up a lot of time.



NYOOOOM



From the top.



Lars is still a loser. He still has all the social grace of someone who leaves their room maybe once a month, has some pretty messed-up assumptions about race, and suffers from depression so bad that Roast Beef is starting to feel attacked out of nowhere. But to Jimmy? Lars is a lovable goofball who has never been anything more than a good friend who wants to share his life and interests with him. Put a pin in that for now, because we'll be coming back to that point in spades after we wrap up Megatropolis.



That about does it for Lars' memory cave for now, though.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Woo VIP Pass is awesome!



Anyway, there's a bunch of salespeople in Shinryu, but each of them specializes in different things. The Neko Girl runs a food stand, where we can get the high-tier restoratives.



Remember when I said Lars' beach scene set the tone for the rest of Megatropolis? Imagine, if you will, a version of Japan, but as visualized by an eight years old boy whose only exposure to the country is from anime and video games owned by his nerd uncle.

It's gonna be awkward and terrible.



If it's cool with you I'm just gonna put all the vendors' stock in spoilerpops from here on out. Cool? Cool.





Those are the only two outdoor vendors, so let's check out this store since it's closest.



Bookstore, huh?



Adrenaline Shot (35 MP) is a super nice panic button for when a key part of your team composition suddenly bites the dust. The revive strength is super low, low enough that it's not safe unless you can queue up an Afternoon Nap or a high-speed High Five that same turn, but the fact that it's instant is a huge gamechanger, since it not only doesn't consume the turn of the user, but it lets whoever was dropped act immediately as well. You won't always need it, but you'll be glad to have access to it.



Just past our fishy friend is the hotel.



Make sure you take care of all the side garbage you want to do before entering the hotel room. It's not a boss fight or anything like that, but it will make your ability to do side stuff a little hampered for a while.



Mr. Marvelous has really fallen on hard times. I, uh... he knows he has a house still, right? It's not great, but he can live there. Henry's there too.



Not a lot we can do for him at the moment, so we're gonna check out this club.



Music: Carton of Smokes, Half-Smoked

Kind of empty in here.



Good to see Ella and her band getting to do their thing, at least. Not much else we can do here, Mt. Fuji in the back refuses to budge.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Next up... whatever this is!



Time for Not Sanrio.





NOBODY GETS TO BE HAPPY HERE, BOUNCY.



Quick, guess what this place sells before we get in!



Did you guess MINIGAME BASED SUFFERING?





There's four minigames to be played here, and I'm ignoring all of them for now.

Right now I have to teach people to respect the Jimmy.



Play mean arcade games, get mean arcade prizes!



Music: Beat Squad

Catty Schoolgirl can either attack normally, spread hurtful rumors to Unmotivate your party, or bat her eyelashes, making Jimmy Afraid and telegraphing a powerful Super Slap. She also has a pretty solid amount of Grifting money, and since you can trigger this fight as often as you want just by shaking her, she's one of the best methods of getting lots of cash fast.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Joke's on you, Jimmy hasn't been in class all game!



You want some too?



I got some for everyone!



Music: Beat Squad

No-Goodnick isn't quite as profitable or interesting an opponent. He's got a normal attack, and he'll pretend he's too cool for the fight to telegraph a two-hit rampage. Next, please.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Bro you literally did not land a single hit on us.



...Huh. That, uh. That's Seven, I guess. We still have to track down Four, though.



Gotta say I don't blame Seven for giving up on this one.



The Game Master is your way of getting those big ticket payoffs. You can either buy tickets from him at a 100:1 ratio, or try to beat his high scores at each of the games here. I'll do that eventually, but not right now. Two of the games are pretty much entirely RNG as to whether you can beat his score or not.



Next up, Fight Song.



Naturally, we're talking to Timothy before anyone else here.



Hell yes you're different from your dad. There's a big difference between a journey of self-discovery and abandoning your family to elope on the beach.



Even that little extra step is difference enough.



Not even bothering to spoilerpop Combat Rider's selection: it's the fight music tracks. All regular battle themes, the boss battle themes we've had so far, and also Osaka Konnichiwa just in case.



Finally, this.



The old lady sells furniture, furniture, and more furniture. She's got the last two pieces of the Space Set, all four pieces of the Classy Set, and one piece of the Megatropolis-inspired Modern Set. It is all bloody expensive.

Next Time: I don't care what you do. I don't even know who you are or why you're following us around.

Lars is the Cool Uncle that your parents have a bad relationship with, yeah.

I parse it the other way: being Afraid in every encounter and the Drowned Beach Babe means that this sundrenched, happy seaside is a Nightmare Zone for Jimmy. He's just that shy. Poor kid.

I would mention, since I don't think Kalir did specifically:

Jimmy is *not* afraid during the drowned fight.

Music

BAM! Side content! Right at ya!



Music: Righteous Scrabble (8-Bit)

As mentioned, the ancient Dragon encountered in the past is much stronger than its present variant, with 150% extra health and doubled stats elsewhere. It also starts the fight Sleeping, which gives us a really nice way to set up the first couple of turns: have Andrew throw Analysis and Punch use Called Shot, and then hit it for a third of its health in one go. Beyond that, this fight isn't much different from the first time. Without Helga, we have a harder time sustaining, but with Andrew and Punch on deck we have two very capable damage dealers. I figure hey, why not show this fight in action?



Music

With one last scratchy roar, the Dragon is defeated, and we can access the lightbulb here!



Music: Beep Beep Boop Village

Next up is the Raspberry Cup. I've tried this once before and got far, but not all the way there, so maybe if I'm lucky I can swing it this time.



Music: Slaughter Promise

As before, some of the fights in here count as spoilers, so I'm gonna spoilerpop the fights here. This one is absolutely harder than last time, since it turns out having a dedicated healer makes prolonged battles easier! WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED?





Music

We do eventually claim victory, worth 180 points and the Raspberry Trophy.



Music: Beep Beep Boop Village

Let's keep up this breakneck pace!



Music: Slaughter Promise

Man, the beefcake quotient's really gone up in this game of late.



Oh man. We could get 2047 levels in Low-Level Goon and still not be anywhere near this absolute chad.



But he's forgotten the first rule of gooning: fighting solo is for suckers.



The High-Level Goon is the champ of the Raspberry Cup, and wields both of his bats with power and skill. As such, he gets two actions a turn, with possibilities such as basic attacks, Bullying, a Startling leg sweep, bashing someone's defenses in half to inflict Unguarded, and smirking. The smirk telegraphs either a three-hit rampage or a multi-target version of one of his other moves, and he can delay the attack for a turn by smirking again. He's not a subtle or tricky fight at all, and wields all of the power a Goon can muster for raw dweeb-smacking offense.

Fittingly, this is a pretty decent fight to bring Punch Tanaka to. The smirk telegraphs attacks that hit the entire party, which gives Punch a really nice tell for "hey, use Counter Stance even though Lars is tanking, idiot". And Called Shot absolutely applies to Counter Stance, for the record. Beyond that, our strategy here is super simple: have Lars stance up and tank like a champ, have Jimmy heal, and have Punch and Andrew swing for the fences.



Music

Not a lot to say. The sight gag is fun, but the actual fight is just a dude with two baseball bats.



And that's the Raspberry Cup cleared!



We get a Training Manual as a reward. It's significantly better than our other XP-boosting options since it takes up a marginally-less-useful Trinket slot.



Music: Beep Beep Boop Village

We absolutely do not stand a chance in the Stinkweed Cup right now. We'll be back for it, of course, but not for a LONG time. Still, might as well go over the new kit we can snag here.





Here's your clue for the next champ, if you want to mull over that.



The High-Level Goon will remain in Everchip to perfect his fighting style.



The first rule of gooning: never bow to your sensei.



Music: Parabolic Smile

Time for the furniture showcase! We've got a Beach Ball (+2 LUK, 1/5 of the Girly Set)...

Some Fish Heads (+2 AGI, 1/5 of the Gross Set)...

A Maneki-Neko (+2 LUK, 1/5 of the Fuzzy Set)...

And a Cat Clock (+2 MAT, 1/5 of the Fuzzy Set).



Oh, and a Sculpture (+3 LUK, 1/6 of the Modern Set).



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Right, let's get this part done.



Man, lay off, Dad. Dreams aren't supposed to be hard work.



Okay, so the plan is sound, but I think that dunking on Lars by enrolling him as well is maybe a bit overkill, Andrew.



You're really just gonna trashtalk the coolest guy we know, enroll us in school, and enroll Lars as a bad joke?



AND you have the audacity to leave our party?



Sorry, but I now have a solemn duty to dunk on all nerds, and you're also being a real jerk right now.



Music: Let's Color Today

Shinryu Academy is in the north part of Megatropolis, right past the Tetsuya Kawaii building on the left. The good news is that this segment will hopefully be light and breezy for you all to go through, and it was likewise for me (except for the boss at the end).

Music: Toy Soldier Parade

The bad news is that I'm now going to be in transcription hell for an entire day, and we all have to sit through The Visual Novel Segment.



We're off to a strong start as the No-Goodnick from the arcade shoves past Jimmy.



You want some? I don't need a science dad to mess you up, bud.



I mean, from where I'm sitting, you look too old for high school too. College undergrad, maybe. But Jimmy's eight, everyone past eighth grade kind of blends together in age until their hair starts going grey.



All right, let's get this over with.



Some purple-haired girl scoots her way past.



And Lars gets to immediately double down on the beach scene's awkwardness.

That bit up there, where I said Lars in high school makes sense to Jimmy because he's eight? That's the ONLY thing that even slightly counts as a defense of Lars here, and it is not anywhere near enough. But HERE WE ARE AND I HATE IT.



See? Punch Tanaka's staying on the case without being an absolute creeper. Be more like Punch.



Now, as bad as this new plot development for Lars is, there is still a lot to like about Shinryu Academy.



Before every class, you're given a choice of what form you want to take, and this does matter!



Because every form has a different response to each of the lessons! Well, there's one exception, but we'll cover that when we get there.



What's more, when you get through a lesson and learn something from it?



That translates to cold hard imagination XP.



If you get enough to gain a level, the bar will flash multiple colors! It's very delightful.



For this playthrough, I've gone and spoiled myself on all the responses and picked out my favorite forms for each lesson. But you go where your heart tells you if you're playing along at home.



You're really just raw VR chatting in computer lab, huh?



Good to see things are going well for Punch. Don't forget, you need magic to damage Flying creatures!



Food time.



You might just be the only dude I know who actively enjoys school cafeteria food.



Music

Anyway, Lars points out the Catty Schoolgirl we robbed 800 bucks from earlier.



Purple hair is over there, too.



Music: Skin Thieves

Purple hair's getting along with the existing students about as well as Jimmy and Lars are.



Music

Yeah, go over and get involved in a fight with two high schoolers so you can crush on one of them. That's a good and not terrible plan, and we will support you from all the way over here at the principal's offi-- I just thought of a flaw in my taunt.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

Thanks for the save, No-Goodnick. Really not looking forward to that scene.



Please send me back to class.

Let's establish some goonery.



Your brain is dumb, but your head is smart!



Yeeeah XP!



Let's pay close attention.



I... see?



Music

Ah, telepathy.



Music: Skin Thieves

Man, for all the bullies we've seen all game, none of them hold a candle to the Pulsating Mass. Why does some primordial force feel the need to pick on a shy, kind eight year old?



Music

Yeah we'll get right on that sure.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

Hey, recess, that's always a good time for a breather, right?



I would like a refund on recess.



Eh, maybe the next class will be fun. I got a good feeling about Grumble Bear.



We don't even get the opportunity to flex our bear powers, because this is where the game steps up and makes something about Jimmy very, very obvious. Despite being a regular calculator of an eight year old, the boy simply cannot read. We've had a bunch of hints about this, of course, starting as early as the GECE back in the Wilted Lands, and even baked into the equipment system (Jimmy can't equip manuals, nor any items that count as books except for the illustrated Pickpocket's Handbook).



Now me, I was a spelling ace as a kid. My contribution to a talent show at around Jimmy's age would be spelling out dinosaur names like "pachycephalosaurus". I'm also aware that that sort of thing is almost 100% luck as to whether you've got that as a talent or not, and learning it if it isn't a talent takes a lot of time and dedication. It's also something that US schooling in particular isn't really equipped to catch and aid. So while this sort of event would've been pretty fun for eight-year-old me, Jimmy now has an absolutely terrifying event looming in his future.



Music

In any case, that's one day of school.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

At the end of each day, we'll touch base with Andrew and see where his progress is with finding Helga and Lars. The sketch artist idea is pretty sound, I think.



Music

The spelling bee is so terrifying for Jimmy that it's set ahead like the date of an execution.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

After checking in with Andrew, you CAN do other stuff wherever you need to, but nah. Let's just hammer through this segment as fast as we can.



Let's have a REAL Grumble Bear lesson.



BERRIES.



These bars are fun, but I'm gonna leave off on them for a bit.



Hey, it's like Rucks says: the thankless jobs are the most important ones. Keep fighting the good fight, Punch.



Yeah we're not playing this one.



That's fine. Could do with a little less Lars right now.



You're really gonna roll up to an eight year old and brag about how you're going to coast on nepotism? ESPECIALLY when that eight year old already stole 800 bucks from you? Let me tell you about something I like to call the five-finger tax.



Still, even though we can dunk on Catty Schoolgirl whenever we want, it still stings that Jimmy hasn't made any new friends.

� think we need a bit of sunshine in our life right now.



Aw, buddy.



Lars' day hasn't been going any better than Jimmy's.



Music

That's public schools for you. The teachers aren't paid or well-equipped enough, and the kids are dragged in way too early and given no real freedom. It's a bog, all because the people with the money and power don't feel like making it any better.



Music: Skin Thieves

Lars, you seem to have picked up a tail.



Right, that's enough. I can't believe I'm saying this, but y'know what Buck would do in a situation like this?



That's right, he'd lay down the LAW.



Music: Beat Squad

Hope you're ready to get counterattack dunked while Jimmy steals your money again!



Music: Skin Thieves

That's all you've got for me? PATHETIC.



I remain unimpressed.



Oh, that's a problem. We go in there alone, we're not coming back out.



Music

But then, someone gets the principal's attention!



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

Purple hair with the save! Didn't even know she had factored us in.



We owe ya one, Hitomi. Time to make tracks!



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

At least Andrew's making progress. We've got a very adversarial environment to work with, though.



Music

And it's now time for me to take a break in transcribing, because HAUAGH. You lot won't have to worry, all you have to do is scroll down to the next screenshot. BUT STILL.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

And here I am after a brief visit with my therapist. I'm learning about aromatherapy!



Music

Just gonna be one good day after another here, huh.



Music: Skin Thieves

Everyone knows if they don't catch and punish you immediately after doing something bad you're off the hook forever. It's the rule.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

Moving right along.



And that's how a 50's Style Vampire flexes on their math teacher.



So that was super unsettling, but good news for us overall.



Lars has the advantage of getting to New Game + high school, and also that very same disadvantage.



Well, it's pretty clear from where I'm sitting that you're trying too hard to be cool instead of being yourself, but that was not a terrible conversation.



Can we PLEASE leave it at that?

Don't want to think about it right now. Let's get fast.



Any percent, uses damage skips.



I'm happy you made a friend, but no, Lars. Why must you drag us all down this terrible road.



This is clearly a trap, but if it means I don't have to deal with you mooning over Hitomi I'll take it.



Music: Skin Thieves

Is this your idea of intimidation? Maybe for this fight I'll go Revolting Blob to really humiliate you.



Out of nowhere, the No-Goodnick swells with moderately more annoying energy, and Jimmy decides to flee so as to not hurt Hitomi's feelings.



If he was allied with the Pulsating Mass it'd be one thing, but both of the bullies scattered the instant it showed up. They are small fries and I will continue to regard them as such no matter how hard the narrative wants me to do otherwise.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

Let's keep bearing.



Something tells me Grumble Bear is going to get thrown off a second time here.



Music

This bit here shows a lot about how Jimmy tries to shore up his reading troubles by applying his skills from math to them: comparing letters to operands and numbers, counting letters and checking words' position in the sentence to determine properties, that sort of thing. He could probably get those skills refined in time and get back up to par on reading, but he's clearly functioning far below his grade level, and US schooling doesn't do that kind of "catchup" mentoring very well, or even at all sometimes.



And when you're eight, you don't want to own up to that kind of deficiency, especially not when you're seen as "gifted" in another area. If you think back to Symmetrical Cavern, this is what Andrew was talking about with Jimmy: he's smart enough to tackle math above his grade level, so why is he having such a hard time with reading?



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Well that's annoying.



Music

No pressure.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

You hopeless dumbass. I hope you continue to feel better about yourself.



STOP DICKING OVER BEAR FORM, SCHOOL CIRRICULUM



Yes, Jimmy, you have a perfect understanding of how gravity functions and I'm very proud of you.



You mean she did the Superman thing. Go into a phone booth so you can take off the glasses, rip up your shirt, and stance up in such a way that people barely recognize you. But phone booths don't exist in today's day and age, so bathroom stalls it is. Also who cares, get the keys to the principal's office next time so we can LEAVE



Nah, go for it. School cafeteria cornbread is just a bunch of dune-dry crumbs held together by malice and poverty.



If there exists a divine force in this or any world please strike me or Lars down now and spare us all this trainwreck.



Music

Oh, yes, Lars, as it happens those bullies that keep picking on Jimmy are actual super powerful demon whatevers. Can't be defeated. Also Punch can sneak out the keys tomorrow and doesn't need our help for that, so we can be done with high school immediately. There's no time to talk and we definitely have to leave right now.



Music: Skin Thieves

Yep, you've convinced me completely, we can absolutely leave right this second LARS.



Music

[The LPer has left the building and is currently approaching escape velocity due to NOPE levels over capacity]



[...]



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

[...]



[...]

He's also not Afraid during the other, more isolated nightmare zones. In a game that relies pretty heavily on The Subtext I'm willing to parse this a situation as terrifying to the player character rather than the player, since Jimmy hasn't shown any aversion to narrow spaces or heights as the other zones suggest.

To you or I it's just another RPG town. But it's got scary encounters and it's got a boss-ish encounter with Cocoon Throbbing In A Dead Man's Mouth, good enough for me.

Edit: wow, I've never been postsniped by half an LP update before

Music

Okay, we're back. Hey, how about that weird haunted school that definitely doesn't have a terrible creepy romance sideplot in it?



Music: Skin Thieves

Right, yeah, let's mess up some demon bullies!



Hm... those aren't exactly great odds.



Music: The Thresher

Ugh fine.



If only they'd STAND AND FACE JIMMY IN THE ARENA this wouldn't be a problem, Hitomi!



Huh. Credit where it's due: this lazy, creepy idiot who happens to be Jimmy's friend and uncle has some guts to him.



Music

See? Told you they were all wimps afraid of a fair fight.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

See, this is where Lars is at his best. He really should have a better opinion of himself, but that very same self-effacing outlook means he won't even think twice about making sacrifices for people he cares about.

TOO BAD ABOUT ALL THE EVERYTHING ELSE



Nearly done with this segment I swear.



Makes you wonder.



Music

Just gotta hold out one more day without getting caught by the Pulsating Mass or having Lars make a damn fool of himself again.



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

Thanks, Andrew. Really glad you're pulling out all the stops here.



Music

OH AND THERE'S A SPELLING BEE.



Just do your best, Jimmy.



Music: Toy Soldier Parade

Don't know when the spelling bee is, so we'll just go with what our heart tells us.



That's the spirit. A spelling bee isn't the end of the world.



It's still great news and I'm glad to be out of this segment, but that spelling bee is looming and Jimmy can't stop thinking about it.



Lars, no.



don't want to be here



Do I get Grumble Bear XP for all the aggravation you're causing me, Lars?



Is this the spelling bee?



Music

You can do it, Jimmy!



Hm... that'd be a tricky one if you're eight. Can he pull it off?



But suddenly...



YES! SPELLING BEE CANCELED ON ACCOUNT OF DEMONIC INVASION

Music: Skin Thieves

Nothing like a good punching bag to work off stress. Come here, chump.



Oh no, guys. He's going into his true form. I'm sure it's horrifically mutated and fearsome to behold.



Music: Beat Squad

...All right then. That there's a Shadow Warrior, I guess. Sorta neat design, but doesn't really hit as hard as the rest of Jimmy's nightmares. Anyway, Chunky Kong here can do a normal attack, use the forces of darkness to magically attack everyone, or absorb darkness to self-heal a bit and chain into either a three-hit rampage or a Black Fountain spell. Slightly more interesting than his human shell, but not by much.



Music: Skin Thieves

Barely a challenge.



DELETED



You have no idea, Jimmy was about to have to spell "induction".



Come ON, Lars! Priorities here! Get the book, avoid the spelling bee, disregard weakass demon people!



Music: The Thresher

Please do as she asks so she can Superman and we can get this over with faster.



Music

Flash of light and a quick burst of guitar and trumpet music. Yep, that there's a transformation sequence.



Of course the high schooler Lars is crushing on is offbrand Sailor Moon WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE.



Music: Skin Thieves

Right, let's deal with the new one I guess.



Music: Beat Squad

Yeah, they were both Shadow Warriors the whole time. This one's got a normal attack, an energy-slicing move that hits your MP, and a wave of negative energy that hits the party, inflicting Startled and Unmotivated. She needs to charge up darkness to do that last thing more than once, which both heals her and chains into a much heavier MP depletion move.

Oh and Hitomi's joined our party now. Yeah she's in the party. We just have to live with that. She is, at least, a pretty decent fighter, trained in the arts of Space Jutsu.

Protect and Lovely (8 MP) is better than Jimmy's Barrier for one significant reason: Hitomi doesn't have to target herself with it. This lends itself to a natural synergy with Lars: have him Undulate and queue up a Counter Stance, have Hitomi use Protect and Lovely on him, enjoy complete immunity to virtually every non-area move.

Milky Way Fists (15 MP) is a slightly reflavored Magnificent Combo. Hitomi has MUCH better MP than either Buck or Punch, and comparable ATK, so she'll have no trouble putting this move to good use.

L.M. Starshine (15 MP) is a significantly more reflavored and slightly cheaper Black Fountain. Like Jonathon before her, Hitomi is comfortable at wielding either physical or magical damage. Unlike Jonathon, she comes equipped with two actually good skills for working with either style.

Magical Heartbeat (20 MP) allows Hitomi to get around the large cooldowns on her moves, although on its own this only shortens the cooldowns by a single turn in practice (since she can do both of her moves back to back, then do anything else, then repeat). If she's armed with heavier moves that demand larger cooldowns, like Thermal Bomb, Roughhouse, or even Adrenaline Shot, Magical Heartbeat is a great way of saying "no it's fine we can still do that". It's tricky, and a little expensive even though Hitomi has good MP, but this move can pull some shenanigans.



Music: Skin Thieves

Oh right we fought a shadow warrior thats fine.



Music

Can we go back to just the shadow warriors? Please?



Music: The Thresher

Yeah, remember how Punch risked his hand and forsook life as a hook-handed badass to get us a shot at finding the Secret Knowledge? Maybe we focus on that?



Oh no they're clones or something.



Music: Beat Squad

And then we fought two of them at once with a full party (and no chance to give Hitomi new equipment).



Music: The Thresher

Right, can we dispense with the small fries already?



Music

THANK you, Punch.



Music: Skin Thieves

Smashing, knock yourself out, let's MOVE ALREADY



...Yeah, that looks about right.



Focus, people.



IF WE BEAT YOU THIS STUPID VISUAL NOVEL SEGMENT WILL BE OVER



Music: A Cocoon Throbbing in a Dead Man's Mouth

Principal Pulsating Mass, on his own, is frankly weaksauce. He sports very little health for this stage of the game, and his moveset is unimpressive: normal attack, mind laser, the wave of negative energy the Shadow Warrior had, and he can absorb darkness for a minor self heal, which chains into either a Black Fountain or a three-hit rampage. We could just chip him down with normal attacks, heal occasionally, and be fine, and we do end up doing this. The trick is that he isn't alone, and that he has six Brain Bats supporting him. They all make it abundantly clear what they do at the start of the fight, but each one has different resists and properties that make area attacks not entirely a guarantee here (but still a good idea). Here's the list.

• A: Saps some of the party's MP each turn, takes half damage from magic.
  B: Extends Principal Pulsating Mass' attacks, turning single target ones into party-target moves (the rampage is downgraded to two hits in the process). Counters physical attacks.
  C: Renders Principal Pulsating Mass Invulnerable to physical attacks. Takes half damage from magic and physical attacks but is weak to light-based moves.
  D: Applies a Barrier to Principal Pulsating Mass that reflects all magical attacks. Will always Reflect magic.
  E: Gives one party member a Weakpoint each turn, takes half damage from physical attacks.
  F: Keeps Principal Pulsating Mass Alert, blocking Startle.

As a result, your strategy for this fight is to burn down the Brain Bats with whatever moves you have available as fast as possible, cutting down the ridiculous array of buffs and setbacks your team has to deal with. In theory, you could just bring down the bats that pose the biggest threat to you and ignore the rest. In practice, I have a kajillion area attacks and no real reason not to use them. The end of this fight drags on (and I'm kind of amazed I still have the Loaded Dice on Lars) but if you just blow up all the bats and then heal yourself, you're basically never going to lose this fight even on empty.



PLEASE LET IT END



Music: The Noble Sea

Let me leeeeave

Ah, I see we're now bonding over the fact that you're both Steve Buscemi, fellow kid.



Maybe I could've spread out this segment over two updates. But no. I wanted this thing done in one shot and we all have to deal with that.



Music

But we have the Secret Knowledge once again. It fell into the ocean and the Pulsating Mass doesn't seem even slightly bothered by us having it, but we have it!



Music: Osaka Konnichiwa

And after all of that, our reward is... we have something that can maybe, if we're lucky, and with a lot of time, lead to a possible clue for defeating the Pulsating Mass. And we have to go deal with angry mutant Buck.



And Hitomi is in our party and won't leave. It's a shame, really. Ordinarily, if someone with her stat spread joined my party I'd be pretty happy about that. She's good with both ATK and MAG, and sports respectable AGI and MP, but is offset by really low HP, DEF and MDF, lending her initially to all-out offense. But she really just exists as a prop for Lars, and I'm sad to say that we won't see that role expanded much in the story. And uninteresting characters will always take a backseat for me compared to mechanically weak ones.



She's also super customizable, since she's Fashionable enough to have three trinket slots to everyone else's two. It's not enough to vanquish evil, you have to look good doing it! She starts out with a Moon Crystal (+30 ATK/MAT):

And some Cute Battle Armor (+5 ATK/MAT, +32 DEF/MDF):

At the very least, I can guarantee that what we do next will be less awkward. This is not a high bar to clear.

Next Time: I'm not feeling too talkative right now, Jimmy. I hope you understand.

Lars is... well, his redeeming traits exist only because of his myriad, profound negative traits. It's Alphys all over again.

I've no doubt that Jimmy is still too young and naive to realize why shipping his middle-aged uncle with a teenage student/magical girl he's infatuated with in his dream world is really creepy. I'm sure Lars is old enough to be Hitomi's dad, especially if he's the (physically) older sibling in Helga's family.

Also I know you're in Fake Japan but holy crap was I not expecting this game to actually head directly into visual novel territory for a little while.