Oh! Emperor Vandole is a DOG. - Let's Uncover the Secret of Mana!

Part VI - The Forest of Seasonal Schizophrenia

Last time on Princess Tomato in Salad Kingdom 2: our lovable gang of misfits and Tomato got themselves mixed up in all sorts of wacky hijinks! They claimed dominance over the spirit of earth, undid a plot to suck the life force out of an entire nation, and halted the dastardly plans of a Dorombo expy gang and the Empire both. Now they're off to the highland forests, because it's apparently nice this time of year or somesuch. I think someone said something about an air seed? I'll be honest, I wasn't really paying attention.



♪♪ In the Thick of It ♪♪

Whatever. Let's fly.



That's a lotta forest!



Hooray, he'll finally be useful!

Percy: Umm... Huh? I...hit my head again when we landed...{D'oh!}
Tomato: Oh lovely... this could take a while.

Oh well, I guess it wouldn't be interesting if it weren't annoying.



♪♪ What the Forest Taught Me ♪♪

How cute!

Percy: No, he's crying. Some pebblers have taken over their village.
Tomato: Oh, that's just awful!
Boss: Hmm... perhaps we should lend them a hand.

Ah. Well, okay, I guess we have a goal of sorts.



Heyhey, good to see ya, Watts! He's gonna be following us from now on.



We have two new weapons! Unfortunately, the tangle effect of the Black Whip hasn't carried over to its successor. Instead it gives a paltry +1 to Agility. Woo. The Long Bow does extra damage to beast-type enemies, like Rabites.



Or their successors, SilktailsRabillions! These little pink pests are identical to Rabites, with the exception that they can cast Heal Water, Acid Rain and Spoit.



And here's a new trap chest type! Riot Gas is annoying since it causes mini status (called Pygmy status in the US version and Chibikko in the Japanese version; both more or less mean the same thing: a small person).



Niccolo followed us too! It's like a reunion with all the characters that offer to sell us stuff!



Defense is important, so we're pretty much stuck paying Niccolo's boosted prices. No big deal, the price isn't too unreasonable this time.



This item... is something we really want, but can't really afford right now. Magic Walnuts restore 50 MP and are pretty much as broken to this game's difficulty as Seeds in FF:MQ are to that game's difficulty. And just like Mystic Quest's Seeds, they only get more broken as max MP goes up.



This area also features a new enemy type, the SteamedDeath Crab. They like to throw their claws, and can only be stunned (meaning you can't hit them when they're down). They can cast Thunder Saber on themselves, boosting their damage even more. And they're pretty damn evasive, just to make it more annoying.



As the title of this part suggests, this area has serious seasonal disorder. It was winter where we landed, spring where we found Niccolo, and now it's summer! Also, we're gonna be getting an awful lot of levels before we're done with this area...



Here's the Moogle Village, flooded with PebblersMolebears! They like to tunnel and shoot rocks in circles. But since they can be spaced out with the Demon Lance, so there's really not much challenge to this clean-up mission.

That was easy.



Aww, it's a Mini-Mog!



It bitchsmacked Percy! I like it already.

Boss: What's wrong?
Percy: Yippee! I can remember everything! Walk the seasons from spring to winter, spring again and we can enter...

Reminds me of the figure-eight puzzle in the previous Seiken Densetsu game.



The Moogles have a few nice presents for us!



Our new weapons are quite handy. The Stout AxeBullova boosts Constitution by 1, and the Moogle Claws have the best status effect of all. I hate that we'll have to upgrade them later, it's so useful: it causes unconsciousness.



It's high time we discuss some of the big problems with power attacks, and why it is that I never use them.

1. They have to be charged up. Ostensibly you can get a level 1 power attack off pretty fast if you use the Ring Menu to make the game skip the whole "attack, wait, charge" cycle and start charging immediately, but even then you're spending 2.5 seconds charging up. The charge times get absolutely ludicrous with the top-level attacks, the strongest of which takes a bare minimum of 20 seconds to charge up!

2. You move slowly and cannot dodge enemy attacks when charging. Well, you kind of can (evasion is still in effect), but you cannot evade attacks the standard action RPG way of getting the hell away from the incoming attack; enemies move far too fast for this. This is doubly problematic given the next issue.

3. You can't charge power attacks when your character is dodging, taking damage, or kocked down. In fact, being put into just about any status condition cancels the charging effect entirely! The short of the three problems thus far is that you need to be charging BEFORE you see the enemy you're going to use the attack on, which is an almost Koan-like requirement. But even then, we get to our next problem...

4. Power attacks have a delay before they start doing damage, and if you're hit during this delay, you won't perform the attack. This is the real killer, and the main reason to never use them. There are damn few enemies that will sit still long enough to let you charge up an attack, let alone back off and let you unleash a power attack on them. Theoretically you can overcome this problem by timing your power attacks so that they land just as the enemy gets close, but this is exceptionally hard to do since most enemies move erratically when they haven't spotted you and beeline to hit you when they have. Meaning you're either half-likely to miss or half-likely to get hit out of the attack.

5. Even though they're quite elaborate and show multiple hits, power attacks rarely land more than a single blow on the target. This can by and large be chalked up to the fact that the game was designed as an offshoot of FF1-3's engine (which was purely turn-based), but the attacks were designed for a much more real-time engine. Most enemies will go into a stunned state after the first hit of a power attack... and thus be immune to damage from the blows that follow.

6. The damage output over time is not even remotely as high as you would get just attacking normally for the same span of time. In the time it takes to charge up a power attack to level 8, you could easily attack regularly 8 times. The highest damage quotient for a power attack is only about 5x damage. Not hard to do the math on this one!

What this all adds up to is that power attacks are not a valuable damage-dealing option. Unless you're fighting an enemy that does not take damage at all from regular attacks (but does from power attacks), you're better off just sticking to regular attacks.



NemesisBlood Owls are annoying, and this is why: they cast Silence. This poorly-named spell does not block spells, it causes confusion. This means reversed controls for your active party leader, and your allies will attack in the wrong direction for their target. Like all fliers, they're immune when getting up from being knocked down.



Walking counterclockwise around the four seasons of this crazy forest opens the way forward, as promised.



Uh oh...

What on earth happened? Hey! Something's here!

Not that I can see? You sure?



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

Oh, there it is! This is Axe Beak.



Axe Beak is not meaningfully affected by Acid Rain. Are you really surprised any more?



Axe Beak is very vulnerable to Gnome magic. Imagine that!



Sorted!

Tossing power UP!



♪♪ Wild Roses and Spirits ♪♪

Further ahead, we find a temple of some sort. What could be inside?



♪♪ In the Dead of Night ♪♪

An old Sprite! Of course!

Percy: Grandpa!
Grandpa: Uhh, that sounds like... 'Zat you, little tyke?!
Percy: Grandpa, can't you see me? What happened?
Grandpa: The empire's men came and undead the Wind seal... A brilliant flash blinded me! The others... they're all...
Tomato: This is terrible!
Percy: NO! They must have escaped somehow!
*Percy starts pouting*
Grandpa: I...suppose so... Uwa, ha, ha ha ha!
Percy: Graaaandpa!?
Grandpa: Gwa, ha! Okay, okay! Tyke! We sprites are a part of Mana. Normally that beast couldn't have beat us! But humans are breaking the seals, and releasing monsters... ...which are consuming our source of life... Mana!
Percy: ...I'll put a stop to it immediately! These two can help!
Boss: ...
Grandpa: I'd go with you if I could see better! At least take Sylphid, the wind elemental, with you!

Hooray, more summons!



Hey, it's Jinn!

Sylphid: So be it!
*Gained Sylphid's powers!
Grandpa: Use "Analyzer" to learn what magic works on crystal orbs. Use your magic on the orb in this forest to open the way to Matango! It's said a white dragon lives in a cave north of Matango. The dragon can help you! Go, now, and worry not about me!
Percy: Grandpa! Everyone'll be back soon! Me too!
Grandpa: Come back whenever you're tired!

Well, I guess that's one more set of spells for us, then.



Hooray for free inns!



Received the Seed's power!

More magic for us!



Speaking of magic, let's see what SylphidJinn has on offer for us! For Tomato, we have access to AnalyzerDetect, Balloon and Thunder Saber. The former lets us check enemy stats, the middle is our favorite "spaced out" effect, and the latter makes our weapons deal wind damage. Fun!



Percy's got access to Air Blast, Silence, and Thunderbolt. The former and latter are damage spells (the latter being the highest-damage spell yet), and the middle is that annoying confuse spell that basically doesn't do anything to enemies. Thanks, developers. It's worth noting that you cannot chain-attack with Air Blast; it keeps Percy from casting until at least the first of the three aero-saucers hits a target.



The Detect spell is rather unique in this game! It not only tells you what HP/MP/weaknesses the target sports, but also how much experience and Lucre they're worth! A handy feature in an action RPG like this, to say the least!



I haven't really gotten a good shot of it before this, but there's weird white dragon-things flying over this forest. They're harmless, just for decoration and all that guff.



♪♪ What the Forest Taught Me ♪♪

Behold the results of chained magic! Even at this low level, a good magic chain can do a LOT of damage! (As you can imagine, I was leveling up spells at this point. Why not?)



Have I mentioned I love the Moogle Claws? 'Cause I do.

Anyway, let's have Watts make us a new boomerang! The LodeSteel Boomerang causes Tangled status at random, which you may recall causes slowness and lowers evasiveness. Score!



On to the next area! This new enemy is a Crawler. They're extraordinarily strong, but also pretty easy to knock down... assuming you can hit them at all, as they're also kinda evasive. This is a good area to take advantage of that new boomerang!



As promised, Detect tells us what crystal orbs respond to! Unfortunately, you have to cast exactly the right spell on the orb to get it to go away, so it didn't open from using Detect on it even though Detect is a Jinn spell.



This calls for air biscuits!



Oho, a new enemy spell! This is what Sleep Flower looks like. It doesn't cause the same status as we've seen before for Unconscious; this is a separate status called Sleep. It just has the same notice and effects.



Enemies out here may hit hard, but we heal even harder!



D'oh!



♪♪ Dancing Beasts ♪♪ (It actually has a bit of an echo in this cave only! Kinda nifty, for 1993 anyway.)

At the far end of this long section of forest, we find a cave! In it is another new enemy, the Kimono BirdGarasha! They have a hitherto-unseen trait: even when knocked down, their evasion still factors into blows directed towards them! All previous enemies have had their evasion ignored when in knockdown status, but not these guys! It's annoying, as you can imagine.



♪♪ Dancing Beasts ♪♪ (Now without echo!)

On the far side, we find...! Sentient mushrooms? Okay, I'll roll with it. (Note that none of these 'shrooms are given names, so I came up with ones. Why not?)

Myconis McSpore: Unlike others of our kind, we're actually quite peaceful! Before you get any ideas, no we're not edible! {Damn, so much for our dinner plans...}
Sir Mushington: I'm sure King Truffle can help you!
Lady Fungusworth: We say "MATANGO" to greet each other! So it only made sense to name our village "Matango"! {I wonder how many towns in the world are named Hello?}
Matsu Take: "GONTMA" in our language means goodbye! There used to be a village called "Gontma", but people kept on moving away for some reason...
Madame Amanita: The forest has become a dangerous place...

Sounds like these mushroom caps want us to go talk to their king, then!



Ah, even more mushroom men! And presumably women too!

Fungus Amungus: We aren't equipped to fight monsters. I can't imagine why we have an armor shop here...
Sir Agaricus: You should stop by the castle and meet our new King!
Lady Thallus: This is Fung Castle, home of King Truffle.

Yep, definitely gonna talk to the king, then.



After we stock up, of course. Behold, the Magic Walnut in its most affordable form! Now that we can buy them, there is never any reason not to have 4 of them on hand whenever going into any dungeon. We effectively have 5 times as much MP to work with for Percy (or possibly less if the dungeon's going badly; generally that's not the case as MP-happy Percy equals less MP-happy Tomato).



Inside we have...! More mushrooms!? INCONCEIVABLE!

Watts: Whew! I thought you'd already left! {Watts: He's everywhere you're going to be!}
Sporocarp III: The King's inside.
"Stinkhorn": Get the King's permission first! {He's guarding an entrance. Can you imagine why I gave him that nickname?}

Just for the record, there's more mushroom people than residents of Kippo and Potos Village combined so far. And that's terrifying.



ANd we're not out of mushroom people, either! This place might be bigger than Pandora, even!

Prince Toadstool: Our ancestors once rode flying animals. White dragons, I believe! Amazingly, a white dragon was spotted only yesterday in a cave to the north of us!
Princess Lentinus: Legend has it that a Mana Beast took on the fortress of the Ancients long ago. Animals that appear remarkably similar to Mana beasts still live in our world! Sometimes you cna see them flying through the woods. {And by "sometimes" she means "constantly".}
Noblemanfungus: King Truffle is a splendid ruler! However, he's reckless and a bit talkative.

Okay, enough mushroom conspiracy theories, let's talk to Truffle at last.



I guess we're expected?

Truffle: What, you don't think we have legends of you here like everywhere else?!

So even the fungus have prophecies? Creepy. Okay, lay it on me then!



♪♪ Where Angels Fear to Tread ♪♪

Well, it's not quite "One to be born from a dragon", but it might catch on.

Truffle: That's you guys, right? I knew it right away!
Percy: Ah... but we haven't come here riding a white dragon!
Truffle: That's true, but I think we can help you with that small detail. {Wow, great policy. "You're the chosen ones of the prophecy, even though you don't fulfill a critical requirement of the prophecy! Here, let me help you with that!" I wonder how many other travelers he's given this spiel to and outfitted with white dragons before this?}
Just yesterday, one of my people saw a white dragon fighting off a huge snake nearby! You can use the 1st floor exit on the right to get to the cave where it was spotted.
Boss: But we're in a bit of a hurry to find the other Mana Seed Palaces, so-
Truffle: Mana Palace? I know where one might be, but first go explore that cave! If you can help get rid of that snake, I'll tell you how to reach one of the palaces!
Tomato: Let's just help them out, Boss.
Boss: Well, I guess we-
Truffle: I knew you wouldn't let us down! Oh, and there's something upstairs for you!

Roped into more "quests"... His something for us had better not be another set of 50 Lucre chests like Pandora. Man that sucked.

Oh, that's quite a bit better, really! With this, all of our weapons will be up to power level 3 now.



The Light TridentSahaguin's Spear does extra damage to beast-types, just like our current bow. Okay.



Damn right we may, "Stinky".



Sure enough, there's a cave to enter!



Leading to yet more mushroom forest! This is a sort of pseudo-maze filled to the brim with monsters, and our target is at the far north end.



To wit! This leads to the REAL cave.



♪♪ In the Thick of It ♪♪

Now we fight Molebears regularly. Oh, did I mention that those kimono-wearing Garasha birds spawn them too? Kinda irritating and nonsensical.



This cave is goddamn huge and I hate navigating it so much.



It doesn't help that they put in a dead end, either. Damn it!



After giving an orb a ball of dirt (no other spell will affect Gnome-oriented crystal orbs, which is a serious annoyance for MP-conscious players who prefer Diamond Missile), the way is opened!



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

It leads to a snake, a snake, ohhh it's a snake!



Acid Rain did seem to almost sort of do something for a change! Then I realized that most of that damage was from the fact that Boss, Percy and Tomato went to town on the snake while the spell was going off. Sorry, still worthless!



Instead I decided to send it thunderbolts and lightning. It found this to be very very frightening indeed!



Then it exploded. The end.

Slash power UP!



I swear, if I have to re-traverse this whole place to get out... Wait, why would I? I have the Magic Rope! Nevermind my rantings!



♪♪ In the Dead of Night ♪♪

Well, he's not exactly Haku, but he'll do.

Its parents must have been beaten by that serpent. {90s censorship, GO!}
Percy: Che... It's not even big enough to carry me, let alone all 3 of us!
Tomato: But he won't survive if we leave him here alone! He's only a helpless baby! He looks way too big for us to carry! Let's ask truffle for his advice on this.

Oh yes, ask the mushroom king for help. Because he's just been so helpful so far, sending you on a fetch quest that takes you away from your mission and all.



♪♪ Dancing Beasts ♪♪

Whatever, plot dictates our direction and all that guff.

Nobleman: K...King Truffle! What if he gets hungry for mushrooms!
Truffle: QUIET, you! You three get going. I'll take care of him as though he were my own son! By the way, how do you like the name "Flammie"?
Ugh! / > Not bad! {False choice, GO!}
Truffle: Hang on...! I sound like a complete idiot! You're so polite, you'd agree with me whether you liked the name or not! {Well we *DID* name Bahamut that an LP ago, so...}
Boss: But, you keep inter-
Truffle: So, let's call him "Flammie" and be done with it, shall we? Cannon Travel is open again in the forest to the south-east. You'll find the Fire Palace somewhere within the vast Desert of Kakkara.

Glad we finally dragged THAT out of him. Okay then, off we go!



After we re-forge our sword, of course. Our new ClaymoreOrichalcum Sword does bonus damage to insects. Woot?



Told ya we'd be seeing a lot of level-ups! Also, notice that chest has something... extra to it? Yeah, now enemies drop chests that have legs and that actively try to get away from us. Irritating, but only mildly so!



♪♪ What the Forest Taught Me ♪♪

What's this? TWO new locations!? Clearly there must be some sort of mistake! Which way should we go, then? ...Wait, why am I asking? You're all too polite to disagree with me and would agree with whatever choice I made anyway! Come back next time to discover whether we're gonna blow it hot or cold! Which will it be? IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY (but me)!

Hey! You didn't do the secret pointless path in the inn!

I am always in favor of mushrooms with proper names.

Ps. Analyzer also works on treasure chests.

Oh very well. But just this once.



OMG SEKRIT ENTRANS!



What a twist!



Tomato Co. is here for all your inn-related needs that don't involve sleeping!

...How did I never know this in playing this game for over a decade?

Ice country! Save you some time

Hey, you know that Acid Rain lowers defense, right? Whoever suggested it did so because of the defense debuff, not the direct damage.

But I guess it's not noticeable right now? It makes sense that it'd make a bigger difference on later bosses.

As I recall, plenty of enemies are invulnerable (stunned, off screen) for at least 2-3 seconds at a time. Just don't let go after you attack, and you'll have a charged attack ready when you can damage the enemy again... or very shortly after. Not really necessary, but also not that hard.

It's also pretty difficult to hit without magic.

I do know it's supposed to lower defense. And I also know that the effect has been nonexistent on every boss I've tried it on: I've done the same damage with Acid Rain in effect as without. I suspect this is because the vast majority of bosses actually have 0 or near-0 defense.

It's a nice idea, that. Unfortunately, the delay in attack plus the fact that enemies start attacking in packs around this point make it unreliable still. Disappointing, really. Some of the high-level power attacks look like they'd be pretty useful at crowd control.

I noticed that, actually. Unless you're a crack shot with the long-range weapons, you're pretty much stuck using magic to beat that big bird.

Apparently -- I read this recently but haven't tested it -- you have to hit the back of its head. It jumps around so much that this really isn't practical, though.

You should definitely go to the dessert! That's where the mushroom guy told you to go!

I agree that they aren't often worth using. I think SoM was my introduction to the concept of special attacks that aren't better than regular attacks.

Funny how they got Special Attacks right in FFA and wrong here.

(this applies to pretty much every bit of gameplay in SoM, though)

In general the short-range weapon L5/L6 attacks are occasionally worthwhile against spawning enemies, since they're area control. Otherwise pretty worthless. I don't think I ever did a single ranged weapon charge attack in all the years I've played this game.

Because he's shameless?

Well, that and he's a bit of a dick.

There's nothing worse than a shameless dick.

Part VII - Ice to Meet You! / Hot Times in the Desert!

Previously on Salad Kingdom 2: a village of Moogles was saved (yay!), Percy found his long-lost grandpa and found out his people were all mercilessly slaughtered (yay!), the party visited a realm of sentient fungi (yay!), and they saved a baby dragon (yay!). Now they're going to blast off! But where will they go?



♪♪ What the Forest Taught Me ♪♪

Can you guess which one I picked? That's right, the deserticy wastelands! Well done. Well done. I can't imagine what gave it away. We're going to Ice Country first because, quite frankly, there is no point whatsoever in going to Kakkara before this. What's this? Secret of Mana trying to extend gameplay via misdirection? INCONCEIVABLE!



This is one group of adventurers that's going to need serious spinal reconstructive surgery once their adventure's over. Just sayin'.



♪♪ Bright Summer Skies ♪♪

Oh hey, it's Talking Time(tm) again! (Yet again, names have been invented for convenience, as nobody here has a name otherwise.)

We named our village "Todo" because, well, we have so much to do!
Sir Mimsy Scabbard Poppington III: I'm starved!
Bob: It's growing unbearably warm around here.
Jane Doe: A tropical paradise is hidden in the crystal forest. It's odd, but I could have sworn it wasn't there before...
Smith Smithersworth: But I'm the town's blacksmith! Who's this weird guy?

Wait, what was that last one talking about?



Ah, it's Watts! He really DOES follow us everywhere, doesn't he? Either that, or he's cloned himself about, hm, a dozen times? Neither one would surprise me. Anyway, he's got nothin' for us this time.



Hooray, new equipment! And yes, that IS a raccoon cap on the item ring. Also, nobody carries Candy from here on out, so if you want 100 HP healing items, you'll have to scrap them off monsters or buy them in earlier areas. If you actually need 100 HP healing items at this point, you're not very good at MP management, either.



♪♪ A Wish ♪♪

The frozen wastes of Ice Country are home to a new enemy type, unsurprisingly! HowlersJackals are the most gung-ho enemy we've met yet, but also one of the easiest to knock down as a result. They have roughly a 40-foot horizontal leap and they go straight for your balls, so it's a good idea to swing early or use long-range weaponry against them if you want to remain unmauled. Oh, and they sometimes cast Speed Down Lv.3, but this is about as threatening as a poke in the side since it wears off so damn fast.



Oh hey, it's... wait, Rudolph!? That has to be an inside joke, right?

No one's in the Ice Palace except a monster! The monster got Master! Heeelp!

No way Santa is really in this game. That would just be so stupidly shark-jumping, I cannot begin to tell you. Besides, Thanatos moonlights as Santa, as we said earlier. We can't have TWO Santas in this game!

...I've just been informed that I mis-read Thanatos' bio! It turns out he moonlights as Satan! Apparently he misread it too, given his laugh a few updates ago. Silly skull-mask-wearing necromancer-types, you guys need to learn to read better...



Hey, the real Santa (if that's really his name) left us an early Christmas present! Sweet!

This chest is our first chance to discuss a certain "feature" of chests containing weapon orbs. How it works is this: each and every chest with a weapon orb has a number assigned to it. The orb's chest is set to appear as long as the player's total number of orbs collected for that weapon have not exceeded that quantity. This was done to prevent players from collecting "too many" orbs and crashing the game by upgrading a weapon past level 9 at the end of the game (enemies in the last dungeon can rarely drop weapon orbs). But there's a quirky side-effect to this: if you haven't collected all of the orbs prior to these orb-containing chests, higher-numbered chests won't disappear when you open them! In fact, they'll spawn again and again until your orb count is correct for that chest! This tends to only result in the chest reappearing once, but theoretically a few of them could spawn as many as 4 times. Most players discover this "feature" via this chest, as it's more than a little common to forget to visit Pandora's treasury and get the chests there.

The first thing I thought when I realized this was, "Can this be exploited to get more weapon orbs than you're supposed to normally?". Well, I've done a careful analysis of each weapon, and the answer is...! No. The developers seem to have gone to a lot of trouble to keep you from sequence-breaking and getting to an orb chest earlier than you're supposed to. In fact, it can work the other way around and cheat you OUT of orbs! Specifically, if you miss the last orb chest for a weapon and then get the upgrade orb following it from a boss, the orb chest you missed is gone forever! Don't skip orb chests, kids!



Anyway, further ahead we run into another new enemy. ShellblastsTortoise Knights are pretty damn annoying. Just like Jackals, they like to charge at you. Unlike Jackals, they're pretty damn evasive and are a hell of a lot harder to knock down vs. stun. They also like to use Ice Saber, just for added irritation when they make your allies into snowmen. My advice? Knock 'em down fast and keep 'em down!



We'll be hating these guys and their variations for a long time... These are LA Funks, ha ha very funny TedGas Clouds. They are 100% immune to weapons (for reals this time, I checked with power attacks and everything!), meaning you can only take them down with magic. Even a light tap from any spell will knock them for a loop, of course, but it's still grating to waste precious MP on them instead of on boss monsters.



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

Speaking of boss monsters, we have a palette-swapped Tropicallo at the far end of the forest to deal with! This one's called Boreal Face.



Quite frankly, he's a pushover. About the worst he can do is knock you for a loop for a bit, and his attacks pretty much just tickle a bit. The only real downside is that he's weak to fire... which we don't have. Meaning the magic method isn't much faster than the weapon method here. Also, he's one of the first bosses to be immune to physical attacks while being hit by magic attacks.



He lasts barely much longer than his palette-swapped brother did. And for the record, I did try Acid Rain. Once again, no noticeable effect.



Shoot power UP!

♪♪ Strange Happenstance ♪♪

I shouldn't have to point out that something is very wrong with this picture. The music is a bit of a giveaway too. Let's talk!

Madame Fancypants: It's hot here even when it's snowing outside!
Richard Lucresworth: Money's better than Mana!
Anna Pansyaxe: This place is gonna be gorgeous!

In a House
Mrs. Greedmore: Whew, you can't beat this place! You can stay in town and get a suntan, or go outside and ski!
Mr. Greedmore: I'm so glad my wife found this resort! It's just the thing I need to get away from the office!

In Another House
Scorpion Army Private Johnson: Our resort is a hit! Woo hoo!
Scorpion Army Private Parts: We're like slaves here! These rich people are a bunch of pushy snobs and order us around!

In Yet Another House
The Famous Mr. Sadsack: I moved here from the Empire's Gold City. The weather there is no match for this!
The Not-So-Famous Mrs. Sadsack: It's "in" to own a second house here.

Something's fishy here, and it ain't cod. Let's check that stove...



I'm so glad that always works with idiot henchmen in fiction.

Thug: Oh well... Hey, could you watch this stove for a few minutes while I'm gone? Just whack it whenever it seems to cool down. Okay?
Boss: Okay, I guess...
*The Tomato Crew lines up in front of the stove*
*Something bangs around inside the stove*
...?
*More banging inside the stove!*
Tomato: I hear something...it's coming from that pot!
Do you want to open it?
> Yes / No

If you have to ask, you clearly have never spoken to an RPG protagonist before!



And then there was a fiery Apocalypse. The end.



♪♪ The Sprite Child ♪♪

Nah, I kid. It's the fire spirit, Salamandoer.

How dare those creatures use me as a heater! Now, let me teach you the power of FIRE!
*Got Salamander's power!*

Does that power come in ring form, by any chance? 'Cause that would be awesome.



♪♪ Strange Happenstance ♪♪

Aww, did we disrupt the Dorombo Gang'sScorpion Army's plans again? Oopsie!

Boss (theirs, not ours): Everyone's gone! I was about to become rich behond my wildest dreams!
Boss (aka. Sir Cucumber): Forget about that! What have you done with the Fire Palace seed? {What makes you think it's missing? Oh right, they expected you to go to Kakkara first and learn that it IS missing! Hooray for clumsy exposition!}
Boss (theirs again): Huh!? The Palace seed? I haven't a clue what you're talking about.
Boys: Hey, I saw an old guy when we nabbed Salamander! Maybe he took it!
Boss (theirs): Don't HELP them! See ya, bye!

And off they go. Well that was anticlimactic and pointless. So pretty much a perfect Dorombo Gang imitation!



Oho, THIS is unique! Now Tomato has some firepower too! She's outfitted with Blaze Wall, Fire BouquetFire Cocktail, and Flame Saber. Blaze Wall does damage and causes Engulf status, meaning it's damn useful. Fire Cocktail causes damage and drops enemy attack power, meaning it's also damn useful. And Flame Saber adds fire attribute to your weapons, allowing you to Engulf enemies with your regular attacks, meaning (surprise!) it's useful. If you didn't guess, I really like Salamander's offerings for Tomato.



Percy's line-up is a bit more standard. In fact, it's all attack spells! Fireball, Lava Wave, and Exploder are all damage-dealing spells that have no unique attributes. Dull City, population DULL! The only noteworthy traits are that Fireball cannot be chained and Lava Wave is ludicrously easy to chain.



♪♪ A Wish ♪♪

So yeah, now we're gonna do the only legitimate bit of grinding I intend to engage in. All other spell-boosting sessions are done in the Forest of Schizophrenia, since there's free MP healing there very close to a screen full of enemies. But out here, you have to use the inn to restore MP. So why bother? Two reasons: one, it gets us up to snuff level-wise and in fact a bit stronger than the game expects us to be. And two, it's just fun to set wolves on fire.



Everyone's (least) favorite cat merchant is also hanging out here. Between him and Watts, it seems like we're never gonna be free of being stalked by money-grubbers... They've got our mark, the both of them! Niccolo gets none of our cash-money, that said, because he's just selling the same crap that's being sold in Todo.



♪♪ Eight Ringing Bells ♪♪

Aha, this must be the Ice Palace! Complete with awesome music!



We're getting quite the frosty reception from the locals.



This area introduces us to a new type of switch "puzzle": fake switches! The left and middle switches in this room just make an error noise if you step on them, while the right one is... well, the right one.

Oh hey, it's a Blue SlimeBavaroise. Remember how I said we could defeat annoying enemy types with superlative ease eventually so long ago?



Take a wild guess as to how.



This game has more pointless switches than I remember, I gotta admit...



Punch power PLUS!



There's a pair of flickering Specter enemies in this room that, like those Gas Clouds, cannot be hit with weapons. You can see how I prefer to deal with them when I'm so inclined to slay them.



It's kind of hard to make out, but we've another new enemy type here! These are Doom'sBeholder Eyes, which are basically a mobile version of Eye Spies. Only they don't spawn any enemies. Thank goodness. They can still Moogle you, though.



Further in, we encounter an enchanted book! MysticMagic Books are spellcasters, as you can imagine. They're also kinda dodge-happy, but not too durable in combat. And yes, they do have a rarely-seen animation frame of a naked woman reclining, but I didn't see it this time. But I did get a rip off it from The Spriter's Resource!



There. Do you feel satisfied yet? Apparently it's still in the iPhone version too, since that was the section I had to go to in order to find that sprite.



Incidentally, this is pretty much what you can expect any weapon-immune enemy to do if you ignore them: cast magic at you incessantly until you kill them or leave the screen. Annoying gits.



Uh oh, we're trapped!



This? Not a trap. So very much not a trap. I cannot tell you



Oh it's a trap.



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

The lamest trap ever, from the looks of it! Oh no, three Biting Lizards! What ever will we do!?



Kill it with fire, duh.

Triple threat?



Bitch please.



Amusingly, this one died just as it cast Heal Water on itself. As you can imagine, the refreshing blast of curative magic didn't help it since it was already a corpse.



♪♪ Eight Ringing Bells ♪♪

So, that happened. Onward!



Across the whip platforms!



And into the teleporter!



Thanatos, is that you?

Percy: ......!?
Scary, let's go! / > No way! {Why would we run?}
Quite conceited for a child! It's time for your punishment! Come!

It's boss time!



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

Say hello to Frost Gigas! Aka. The Easiest Boss Ever! He's weak against fire. BOTH of our mages can sling out fire spells. I'm sure you can do the math on this one. He never even moved or attacked during the entire "fight". Really, it was more of a curbstomping.



Didn't even bother with the Acid Rain test on this one... If you're curious, he's got the same patterns as the Fire Gigas if you let him actually land a few blows. Except he casts Undine spells instead, including Ice Saber on your weapons. A boring boss, in short, even if you fight him "legitimately".



Toss power BOOST!



♪♪ Calm Before the Storm ♪♪

What is that noise? I've heard it before! Oh!



Hey there, Fonz! Glad to see you could stop by and jump the shark for us! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the game!



Yes, really. Bear with it, it'll be over soon...

Santa: Oh...! Rudolph! Sorry to have worried you! It seems I'm fine, now! I formed into Frost Gigas because kids just no longer believed in me or Christmas any more. When Mana fades, kids start to lose their hopes and dreams... I wanted so badly to bring back all of those dreams... Then I heard from someone that Mana Seeds grow instantly into enormous trees! I set off to find a Mana Seed, thinking I could grow it into a huge Christmas tree! But this seed amplified my worries and fears, and turned me into that monster! If the power of Mana isn't handled with care, it can be VERY dangerous! Here, take the Fire Seed. You need it, right? Consider it an early Christmas gift!
Boss: Thank you, Santa!
*Got the Fire Seed!*
Percy: Wow, this is great! So what am I getting for Christmas this year, Santa?
Santa: Ho ho ho! I heard you were causing mischief! "World Famous Exhibit Hut", hmmmm?
*Percy pouts*
Percy: Awww, man...he really DOES know who's naughty or nice! {I'm amazed they didn't put canned laughter here. Secret of Mana is officially a sitcom for this scene, after all.}
Tomato: Anyway, we'd better get this seed back to the Fire Palace right away!

But first, a commercial break! The Princess Tomato Christmas Special will be right back after these messages!

...We've just been informed that the Princess Tomato Christmas Special has been canceled! But stay tuned, as we've got a 3-hour Midtown Cowboys marathon for you instead! Wait, come back! Aww man... There goes our ad revenue.

Sorry about that! I hired the director at WARP TV to finish LPing the scene. It was that unbearable. But I'm back now! Let's continue.



♪♪ A Wish ♪♪

Off to Kakkara at last!

Then why did you offer!? Jeez. Fine, send us to the Mushroom Kingdom.



Union workers, I tell ya...



♪♪ Dancing Beasts ♪♪

May as well stock back up on Magic Walnuts while we're here!



And attend to our massive backlog of weapon upgrades! Here's what we have on offer: the Chakra Hand boosts Intelligence and Wisdom both by 1, and inevitably inferior to the Moogle Claw since it doesn't cause Unconscious. The Partisan does bonus damage to slimes and lizards, and is inferior to the Demon Lance since it doesn't cause Balloon. The Great Bow can confuse enemies, ergo it's not really all that impressive. And finally, the Rising SunMoonring Blade is just a generic throwing weapon with no incentives attached. What a disappointing upgrade lot!



♪♪ What the Forest Taught Me ♪♪

Ironically, the desert is much closer to Matango than Ice Country, too. He's 100% confident in being able to blast you there safely, but not so much somewhere practically next door! Maybe he's just one of those "full-power shots only" sorts who always gets stuck on those Angry Bird levels that require you to use a bit more precision.



What was I talking about again? Oh, right, desert.



Spinal adjustment complete!



♪♪ Secrets of the Scorching Sands ♪♪

Percy, clearly, does not understand what the word "desert" means in fictional settings. And Tomato does not understand what the word "desert" means outside of fictional settings. (For the record, not all deserts have sand in them. Nor are all deserts hot! They are generally pretty barren by definition, however.)

Boss: Let's find a town before we shrivel up!

Just once, I'd like to see a video game besides Dwarf Fortress sport a cold desert like the Gobi. Just once. Alas, even Terranigma mis-portrays that one as a scorching sandstorm instead of what it actually is...



In typical generic fiction desert fashion, this one is infested with scorpions! Sand StingersDeath Scorpions are amazingly stupid and easy to fight. They mostly just sit there, dodge attacks occasionally, and very rarely send their stinger up at you through the sand. They can cause poison when they hit you, but since they're so slow and disinclined to attack, they probably never will.



We also have another generic enemy! This antlion-esque menace is called a Spider Legs. They mostly just sit in those sand pits and chomp on you if you get close, then spit an Earthquake at the offending party member. Annoyingly, their sand pits draw you into them from about a thousand feet away.



Man, those dragons are EVERYWHERE! I saw 'em in Ice Country too!



There's a new enemy here and dialogue! I'll explain the monster after the talkingness.

*Everyone walks upward*
Tomato: LOOK! Over there! Hurry, I see something up ahead!

Right! So, PBumpkin Bombs. These guys are mostly generic enemies, and don't even have a stunned frame. They can blow themselves up if you don't kill them fast enough, but they generally don't live long enough to do so.

Defeating them also makes them blow up, but only in a generic "enemy explodes in death" fashion; it doesn't hurt anyone.



Looks like we've found Jabba the Hutt's sandcruiser fleet!



♪♪ Lord of the Shore ♪♪

Oh hey, soldiers! And they're on our side, too! Nothing bad can happen to us now!

HEY YOU! What are you doing out here? Only Imperial spies could be so stupid! {I don't follow your logic, soldier-man. And clearly you've never been to Cannon Travel. It's a miracle when you arrive at your destination in one piece, let alone in the right place!}
Percy: Oh puh-lease!
Tomato: How rude!
Boss: Give us a break!
*Some twerp in a Roman helmet walks up*
"What are you doing?"
*The soldiers face him*
Sir! We picked up some spies wandering in the desert!
Commander: Now, let's hold on. Perhaps they're really just some travelers who got lost...
*Tomato and co. nod vigorously*
Boss: Yes, sir, it's the truth. We came here from Matango... We'd almost given up hope!
Commander: I rather like your open manner, kid, so I won't throw you back into the desert. However, this isn't a pleasure cruiser here, so you'll have to work to earn your keep. You'll work in engineering, the shrimp'll make meals, and she...! She can come with me! {Corruption and implied nonconsentual sexual intent! Hooray!}
You heard him! Move!

Yeah, that's about how I expected it to go.



But I don't know how to realign the deflector dish to absorb tachyon emissions or adjust the warp coils or any of that technobabble! Maybe one of the local engineers can help.

Sammy McSlavington: People picked up in the desert are slaves!
Ensign Redshirt: Admiral Meria's in command, but his grandson, Morie, calls the shots around here! Morie would just as soon dump the old man in the desert.
Ensign Bitparte: This is the Republic's secret sandship.
Sergo: Thar she blows! Eh? You're new on board, huh?! I'm Sergo, pirate and scourge of the 8 seas! That is, at least I used to be... The oceans have grown way too stormy for sailing, so the pirate business dried up... I stowed away here 'cause I missed my ship so much, but they found me. I wonder if the oceans will ever be safe again!?

I like that last guy. He's got spirit. Let's talk to him some more.



Well, it's a long shot, but hey.

Sergo: Huh?! You wanna escape with your friends, do you? Har har har! Leave it to me! Go talk to those guards by the stairs.

Are we really gonna do the "sick man" routine? That is SO cliche'd...



I don't HAVE a post, you idiot, I'm an engineer! Sort of!

Sergo: Aiiiieee! Fire! Fire!
What!? Out of my way!
*The soldier shoves Boss aside!*

Hey! Boss is the only one who gets to push Boss around! (And Tomato.)



Ahahaha you're an idiot.



So yeah, this is the Federation sand cruiser. It's pretty big! The sand below scrolls constantly, so it almost (but not quite) looks like the ship might actually be moving!



Downstairs, we find Percy, well, being Percy.

Percy: Chomp...slurp...gulp... Pant, pant...whew! Just like paradise in here, eh, buddy? So when do I get paid?
Cook: OMIGOD!! He ate up ALL the ship's food!! {And now he's going to punch you as hard as he can! Say goodbye to your blood! All of it!}
Guard: NOOOO! I haven't eaten yet!
Cook: Someone get this...this THING out of my kitchen!

Kid's got a cast-iron stomach!



...Why? You aren't the one who ate everything.

Cook: Will you get this human waste disposal unit OUT of my kitchen!? {That's the best definition of Percy I've heard yet!}
Percy: Couldn't...burp...eat another thing!

Well, that's one ally found. Now, where's Tomato? We'd better find her quick! Oh, not to protect her, mind you. I'm more worried that she might cause an international incident if left to her own devices around that pervert from before.



Fun Fact: I (and many others) failed to notice that door on the wall there the first time playing this game! It blends in damn well, you must admit.



Even if we ARE prisoners, we still get saving privileges. It's only civilized!



That's not quite how I remember it happening...

Soldier: No! We're finished!
*The soldiers walk off*
Boss: Rats? Hmmm...
*Percy does his jack-in-the-box laugh*

Oh wait, that's exactly how I remember it happening, because you're a rat, Percy.



Dude, Morie? Bad fucking idea. She's wearing brass knuckles, you idiot!

*Tomato turns her back on him*
Tomato: Yuck! I'd rather have my gums scraped!
Morie: You spoiled BRAT!! {Mr. Morie Kettle? Mr. Pot called. He wants you to know that you're black.}
*Tomato faces him and gets ready to deliver a haymaker*
Tomato: You cheavanistic PIG!!

Hope the Republic's got good a dental plan, Morie...



You got lucky, kid.

*Morie faces his grandpappy*
Morie: But Grandpa, she owes us for rescuing her and...
Meria: Silence!! You'll lose the respect of the troops making out with any old tramp we pick up in the desert.
*Tomato faces away*
Tomato: TRAMP!? Harumph!!
Meria: You're absolutely pathetic! Woman! Get out of here!
*Tomato's in a huff!*
Tomato: Bunch of jerks...
*She runs down to Boss and Percy*
Tomato: Am I glad to see you!
Morie: They've escaped! This is all your fault, Gramps!
Meria: I...um...! Gaurds! Escapees! Grab 'em!
*Two guards run in*

Well, book four coffins, 'cause these guys are about to get curbstomped by one Princess Tomato and her retainers.

Another stroke of luck! Something's happening abovedecks!

*Another soldier runs in*
Guard: Red alert! Empire forces spotted on an intercept course!
Morie: Aiee! Let's surrender! {Ahahaha you little hoochy.}
Meria: You IDIOT! You're no soldier! To arms, men! To arms!!
Soldier: No way! We're with Morie! Surrender is our only option!

Gotta get me outta this chickenshit outfit...



♪♪ In the Thick of It ♪♪

Death first! Actually, these idiot soldiers just say "Awww, nuts!" and don't even try to fight back. Even the Pandoran military is less easily-intimidated than you guys!



A technicality, I assure you.

Boss: But that's not true! We were virtually prisoners aboard this ship!
Geshtar: What...you must be the ones Thanatos warned me about. The "Mana Knight", correct? At Thanatos' urging, the Empire has declared you enemies of the state... I would be sadly remiss in my duties not to take care of you personally!

Thanks a lot, Thanatos. You're off my Christmas card list now!



Later, Imperial pig-dog! Hey, if you're going to Kakkara, think we can get a lift? Just askin'!



Oh, he wants to fight! Well, okay then.



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

Geshtar's tactics are pretty pathetic. He basically revvs up his Speeder Bike from Return of the Jedi and then blasts across the screen, hoping he rams you. And he does this the entire fight, and nothing else. As you can see, he's not very fond of being electrocuted.



So I electrocuted him some more. Then he blew up.



Whipping power INCREASE!



♪♪ Calm Before the Storm ♪♪

Oh boy, it's a special desert edition of Talking Time(tm)!

Don't worry, the Admiral will become the knight he used to be!
Sergo: That was amazing what you did to that guy! Let me know if you ever need jobs!
Morie: Oh! My beautiful ship!
Meria: Shameful!

That was pointless, as usual. Maybe the admiral has more to say.



He does! Goody!

Just who are you, anyway? I've heard Geshtar tried to kill you on sight!
Boss: I'm sorry... if Jema were here, he could explain...
Meria: WHAT! You're friends of...!? I had no idea. I must apologize for my grandson's actions. Sir Jema would be ashamed of us. I had almost forgotten how true soldiers act!
Boss: We were trying to get to Kakkara and the Fire Palace before you found us.
Meria: The Kingdom of Kakkara lies north of us, while the Fire Palace is off to the west. Go talk to one of my men, he'll radio ahead and have you airlifted out of here.

That seems... unlikely. But whatever, escape is escape.



Get me outta here, this place blows.

We'll drop you off just south of Kakkara. Good luck!

Anywhere's better than here.



♪♪ Wild Roses and Spirits ♪♪

Except maybe here. Desolate city! Also, why are 2/3rds of the buildings here without doors? That seems counterintuitive.

Bratty McBrattington: Water... I need water!
Cutie McCutingsworth: Salamander is my friend, and I see you're his friend. That makes us friends, too! {Not how it works, kid...}
Watts: I'm 'bout to pass out from this heat!
Mr. Motti II: Our wells have run dry!
Madame Pinkhairre: Everyone's moving away... I think I'll move to the Ice Country... I heard there's a town as warm as this one there! Huh!? All gone? {Sucks to be you!}
Deputy Mayor Waterson: Ah! Thanks for bringing the Mana seed back!

Sounds like there's a bit of a water crisis here. Quick, set up a contract and import from the Water Palace cheap, then make a killing selling it here! Oh wait, this is an RPG, not a trading sim. Nevermind!



This guy seems to be the mayor. Or a merchant. One of the two.

Amar: A Magic Walnut?! Oh please! {Still not sure...} Huh! Wait, you mean this...! oh, you were talking about the Mana seed of Fire. Sorry! Watch out for monsters when you return the seed to the palace in the west.

Sound advice that will doubtless be ignored! Anyway, weapon upgrade time.



The Chain WhipFlail does bonus damage to lizards and slimes. Given that the Backhand Whip was even more disappointing, I'll not complain. Much.



♪♪ Secrets of the Scorching Sands ♪♪

To the south and east of Kakkara is a star-spangled desert and a new enemy type! Mad MallardsDuck Soldiers like to shit egg bombs at you, summon Bumpkin Bombs, and generally are a nuisance. They're demihumans, oddly enough, so the usual demihuman rules apply to how you can damage them. Unfortunately, the path north from here is blocked, so we'll have to go west to the palace like boring normal people.

♪♪ A Silent Prayer ♪♪

It's easy to tell when you're at the palace entrance! The desert doesn't even look the same near it.



Heyhey, it's a new enemy type up there! Robin FootsPorobin Hoods are very quick on the bowstring and will shoot on sight. Other than that, they're just a Chobin Hood palette swap.



Ambush! Incidentally, if you're playing with 2 players, you can use the glove's attack to ascend an otherwise untraversible ramp up ahead and skip half this palace.



I'm going solo, so I can't do that. Down it is, then! And apparently it's getting hot in here, but we're not taking off all our clothes.



We are fighting a new enemy, though! Dark FunksSmogs are just as annoying as their Gas Cloud bretheren, and just as easy to kill with magic.



What's the most logical way to get rid of lava, you ask? Why, to firebomb the shit out of it!



Yep, that just happened.



Oh joy, more Bavaroise! The red type cause Engulf status when they hit you. Prognosis: avoid!



Looks like someone on the devteam wasn't as asleep at the switch as usual! Look, a semi-decent amount of cash in a chest!



Again, I posit that the guy responsible for FF2's endless dead-end rooms had a hand in this game's design...



And we're at the top of that ramp! Goody-goody.



More fire-based crystal puzzle nonsense....



And another chest of money! At one time, I thought that money chests were all Orb chests that got replaced with money if you had the Orbs they're supposed to contain already. Yeah, I didn't know squat.



Oh joy, a maze... At least the goal's obvious.



What's the purpose of having a little platform suspended over a bottomless pit like that, I wonder?

More switches...



Had to backtrack for this...



Whipping across... This really gets monotonous. All of the palaces are more or less palette-swapped versions of one another, if you didn't notice.



Gee I wonder what to do here. I'm in a room full of fire! In a palace of fire! And there's a crystal up there that's made of fire! What kind of magic spell to use!? Durr, fire!?



No, that'd be stupid! Man, this game is HARD!



The ice put out all but 2 torches. Walking between them opens the way up to the boss. At last.



♪♪ Crisis ♪♪

It's a mechanized Minotaurus! This guy's annoying for one simple reason: he's effectively fire-immune, meaning Tomato's stuck on support duty. Not cool!



He's about what you'd expect of a minotaurus boss, really. Charges at you, casts Earthquake Lv.7 sometimes (ProTip: don't let him cast Earthquake Lv.7!), and generally is non-threatening. He hates being electrocuted.



So I electrocuted him until he died.



Olympic Games power PROMOTE!



♪♪ A Silent Prayer ♪♪

Do I have to?



Alright, fine. But next time YOU get to save the world from all evil, Tomato!

Received the Seed's power!

Yay, I get to grind all 4 spell schools up to level 4 now! I can hardly wait, he lied.



Let's blow this popsicle stand, Magic Rope style! (Not that it matters; all of the enemies vanished when we beat the boss. They respawn once you go back into the desert, though.)