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Two will enter, one will leave: The Thunderdome Thunderdome

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
GLaDOS is still alive.
Bomberman is screw-attacked by Samus.
Grover wins the only contested matchup of this set.


With eight pairings left in this round, we'll split it down the middle and do four at a time.


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vs
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Joseph Joestar (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)
Defeated by: Josuke Higashitaka

A fighter who likes to employ the element of surprise.


The foot (Monty Python)
Defeated by: The Luggage

The aforementioned element of surprise.




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Michael Scott (The Office)
Defeated by: Homer Simpson

Office manager of yesteryear.


Miles O'Brien (Star Trek: TNG/DS9)
Defeated by: Rincewind

Office worker of tomorrow.



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Max Rockatansky (Mad Max)
Defeated by: A dog

Post-apocalyptic action hero.


Ash (Evil Dead)
Defeated by: Link

Camp horror action hero.



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Julius Belmont (Castlevania)
Defeated by: Kirby

Amnesiac vampire killer.


Egg Shen (Big Trouble in Little China)
Defeated by: Sherlock Holmes

Magic bus driver. (No, not Magic Bus driver.)


Votes due by end of day Sunday, October 15.
 

RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
Michael Scott couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag.

Miles O'Brien was able to convince some Ferengi to unionize.

Giving this matchup to Miles.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Joseph is great but the foot follows a comedy rule and can only beaten by similar narrative mechanics. Foot wins.

Miles is a war vet, competent and surprisingly less racist.

Max and Ash are both survivors. Despite both having badass status both do more taking it than dishing. I'm giving the slightest edge to Ash for surviving weirder and more unexpected stuff.

I like Egg better but Julius wins
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
I feel like Ash is less of a threat than Master Blaster, and Mad Max beat them, so he would win. Plus Max has more experience fighting other humans, while Ash mostly fights zombies, skeletons or demon-possessed people.

If I think of The Foot as a Stand power, Joeseph would probably lose that fight; but just in general, the way the Foot works is to win in a single surprise attack and that's just not how JoJo protagonists are used to fighting.

Miles wins and it's not even close.

I want Egg Shen to win but honestly it's more likely to be Julius. I think Egg would have a decent arsenal of long-range magic attacks to throw at Julius, so it's a question of how difficult it would be for Julius to dodge them, because once he gets into whip range I think it's over for Egg.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Max vs Ash is a tough one. I feel like they're likely to come out as drinking buddies once they heal up from the serious injuries caused by the brawl. I dunno man, could go either way, I'm voting tie/no-vote I guess.

The others seem pretty clear-cut for reasons already stated - Foot, Miles, Julius.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Hamon vs hamstring:
I can maybe see Joseph dodging the first initial attack. But even after that I don't see how he could do any damage against a giant opponent. What I do think will happen is that he'll throw out a one liner after his dodge but not notice the foot rearing back for a follow-up attack and then Joseph will get punted out of the fight. And thus he will face the singular version of the agony of de feet. The Foot wins. (Now what would be a good Stand name for a giant foot? ... Wait, I think I've got it - Footloose.)

MS vs MO:
I feel like O'Brien has the edge in both training and combat experience and I think Michael will realize that and maybe try some rhetorical trick or something else he got from a management book to get Miles to back down / concede. Miles has been around the Alpha Quadrant and seen his fair share of stuff so he'll see right through that. Miles will become quite incensed then haul off and deck Michael. Michael will be laid out by that single punch and Miles will be declared the winner of this match. But he will suffer any or possibly all of the following consequences:
  1. Re-injuring his shoulder.
  2. Keiko will yell at him.
  3. Picard or Sisko will give him a formal reprimand / dressing down and some form of relatively minor punishment. Of course, off the record either of them will admit that they probably would have done the same thing if they were in O'Brien's shoes.
shotgun enthusiast who has only used a chainsaw in battle once against a shotgun enthusiast who has used a chainsaw in battle quite regularly
or
battle of guys who go by three letter names who drive 1973 model year muscle cars in their movies (at least some of them):
Max drives a 1973 Ford Falcon XB GT Hardtop Coupe - the "V8 Interceptor" / "Pursuit Special". Ash drives a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 - "The Classic" (Which has appeared in multiple Sam Raimi movies so it might be more than just a regular car.) Instead of getting into a bloody and possibly lethal fight these two realize their shared enthusiasm for going fast and agree to settle things with a race. Now I think Ash is exactly the kind of guy to get the biggest engine possible (even if he really can't afford it) so I think he'll have a horsepower advantage over Max. But Max has a lot of driving experience and skill since he was part of an Australian Federal Police special task force that patrolled the highways and fought bands of criminals in vehicles. So I think Ash might pull ahead quickly but Max will use his skills and ruthless driving aggresion* to catch up to Ash. At that point I think Ash will either panic or try to do something really risky to win but screw it up and either way he'll lose control and spin out. Max will cross the finish line first and get the win. Ash will give Max some gas, they'll shake hands and then both drive off in separate directions.

*They don't call Max "The Road Warrior" for nothing.

guy who uses whip and more to fight supernatural entities against guy who uses bag and more (but another set of more) to fight against supernatural entities:
Julius is not the most agile character in a Castlevania game but he is a lot more agile than most of his Belmont predecessors. Egg's attacks tend to cover a wide area which makes them well-suited for taking on hordes of mooks that are grouped together but they are not the best option for single targets. (and Egg does seem to have a bit of a problem with aiming some of his attacks.) I think Egg will be able to hit Julius at least once and do a lot of damage but that will force Julius to focus more on dodging and closing the distance while using his sub-weapons to force Egg to keep his head down. I think Egg might be able to use his fan to reflect / deflect the thrown cross but I still don't think that will be enough to prevent Julius from getting into whip range. Egg does seem more like the squishy mage / caster type to me and in this case he doesn't have Jack, Wang or any of the other nameless guys who stormed Lo Pan's lair to serve as meat shields / distractions so Egg will be taking a lot of whip hits. So what I think will happen here is that Egg will collapse to the ground and Julius will close in to finish him off but Egg will rise up and zap Julius with lightning / electricity when he gets too close. The surprise attack will hurt Julius but not put him down completely and Julius will retaliate with the Holy Cross item crash as a finishing move. That will put Egg down for the count and give Julius the win. They'll have a brief chat and realize that they both have a common goal of fighting supernatural enemies and will agree to team up at some point in the near future.
 
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Purple

(She/Her)
Foot squishes Jojo.

O'Brien has at least some level of basic competence. Also a space gun. But he will injure his shoulder along the way.

Max vs. Ash would have been a really tough one to call a decade or so ago but in their most recent appearances we establish pretty firmly that Max can't always handle things on his own and works best as someone else's support, and Ash while a complete disaster loser in all other respects is bafflingly always able to handle himself in a fight no matter what the circumstances. Plus like, he has the slight edges of having experiences with supernatural horrors on top of regular people, and like... weapons that haven't been degrading in rusty sandy boxes for decades.

And... Julius is the Belmont who thinks he's the main character but it's actually the magical twink, while Egg Shen is the magical guy who's friends with the twink in the movie where some other blond guy thinks he's the main character. So uh... gotta go Egg.
 

Olli

(he/him)
Joe vs. Foot:
Maybe surprisingly, I'm going to give this one to Joseph. He's tough as nails, and the only reason he lost his previous bout was because Josuke is even better. The Foot is a one-trick pony, and despite that trick being a whopper, it's not JoJo's style to go down and stay down from the first attack, no matter what.

Miles vs. Michael
O'Brien, no question. Michael Scott could only reasonably defeat someone who's significantly weaker than him in all regards, and Miles O'Brien is more than his equal.

Max vs. Ash
This is a tough call. Both are kind of in the same wheelhouse of being old-boot-leather survivors who don't go looking for fights, but end up kicking ass anyway. I'll call it for Ash for being more overtly violent.

Julius vs. Egg
I don't really have a good mental model for how this one would play out. I guess Julius is a straight enough shooter to fall for some trickery. Egg Shen.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
The Foot steps on Joseph.
O'Brien takes a perfect win against Michael, if you don't count the ensuing shoulder injury.
Ash tells Max to hit the road.
Julius ill has need of an opponent such as Egg Shen.



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R-90 "Ragnarok" Hyperdrive System Fighter (R-Type III: The Third Lightning)
Defeated by: Maximilian Jenius

Shmup superstar.


Inframan (The Super Inframan)
Defeated by: Gamera

Tokusatsu superhero.




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Count Dracula
Defeated by: Mega Man

Ur-vampire.


Y'shtola Rhul (Final Fantasy XIV)
Defeated by: Sif

Mascot sorceress.



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Wolverine (X-Men)
Defeated by: Darth Vader

The best he is at what he does.


Malenia, Blade of Miquella (Elden Ring)
Defeated by: Haruko Haruhara

Also very good at what she does.



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Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
Defeated by: Bernard Bernoulli

Eccentric neighbor.


Shaquille O'Neal (Shaq Fu)
Defeated by: Darkwing Duck

Basketball player turned mascot fighter.


Votes due by end of day Friday, October 20.

This ends the first Losers round!
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Gonna say the spaceship blows up Inframan.

Dracula is probably going to defeat the magic lady.

Malenia is surely tough but Wolverine has healing, claws that slice through metal and is constantly punching above his weight class.

Kramer is very much not ready for any Shaq, let alone one on a magical journey where he fights mummies and stuff.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
I still don't know enough about Inframan, but previous discussions seemed to indicate he had a lot of abilities at human-size but not as many when in kaiju-size mode, plus limited time in that format. Given that, I think the R-Type's mobility and massive firepower is going to come out on top even if it has to dodge a few magic-laser beams on the way to victory.

Drac vs Y'shtola is a tougher call. Kinda depends what power set this Drac has. But Y'shtola should at least have a lot of experience being part of facing down evil bosses like Drac, and he's usually vulnerable to at least some flavors of magic which she could unload on him in bulk.

Logan vs Malenia would be a fun and very bloody match but Wolvie ends up outlasting his opponent on the strength of healing factor.

Shaq just holds Kramer down 'til he taps out.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
spacefighter from game made in Japan versus martial arts fighter from movie made in China:
Another lopsided match for my pick. If fighting at human size then the Ragnarok can most likely outrange Inframan's shorter ranged attacks. I-man's bullets and tracking kick could hit the ship but probably not do enough damage to take it down and could be blocked by the Force unit. The ship could probably dodge the Thunderball fists well enough while returning fire that my man I-Man would not come out on the winning side of that exchange. Inframan's different energy beams/projectiles could maybe damage the ship but I'm not sure what their max range is so I think the same would apply. About the only way I think Inframan could win is by hiding and then growing to giant size to launch a surprise attack but I feel like the ship has some kind of sensors that give it all around scanning / vision so it could detect and dodge that attack. After missing with the surprise attack a giant Inframan is just a giant target for all of the Ragnarok's weapons and that ship has tons of experience fighting giant entities. The Force unit is with the Ragnarok and it wins this match.
 
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RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
Ragnarok, Wolverine, and Shaq are winners that I don't have to think about much.

Drac vs. Y'Shtola is a fight I don't feel informed enough to judge at the moment. I'd love to hear an expert weigh in.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Drac vs. Y'Shtola is a fight I don't feel informed enough to judge at the moment. I'd love to hear an expert weigh in.
I think I'm in the same boat.

The big questions I have about the match are the following:
Can vampires drink the blood of catgirls?
And even if they could then would they want to?

I did some quick Googling and was surprised that I couldn't find any quick answers or even any discussion about the topic. I imagine that it's out there somewhere but in a dark place where even the bravest fear to tread...
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
There are surprisingly few relevant results for "vampire catgirl" as well. I'm floored that this isn't a thing.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
So, if you want to take this at face value, Y'shtola knows how to cast Holy. Elements aren't really a thing in FFXIV in terms of gameplay mechanics, but surely Dracula would be weak to Holy. That spell in XIV also applies a stun effect too, so he'd be pretty fucked imo. Y'shtola wins.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
Uhhh no I don't think she has anything explicitly like that. "Charm" doesn't really come up in FFXIV.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
Oh yes it does! We are all powerless in the face of Ramuh's beard!
ramuh2.png

FF14 also has Dracula, essentially, and he's one of those optional superbosses people spend months learning to fight. Also again like... Y'shtola isn't really a character who fights. She's popular because she's a woman over 30 in a Final Fantasy game with the sort of personality that makes people go "step on me," but when she's around for a big action beat, she famously casts the Exit spell and messes it up and spends a decent chunk of time in limbo until you get help from other magic nerd friends to pull her out, without her clothes, or eyesight. Twice. And as there are bits later where all your NPC pals are at least briefly playable, I can tell you... she doesn't even know holy! All the other white mages do, but not her. So I gotta give that one to Dracula.

Meanwhile any classic Shmup ship is gonna beat a robot who can get big, Wolverine can beat a boss that just needs you to dodge roll and slash away, that's kinda his whole deal, and... OK weirdly enough I gotta say Kramer would beat Shaq somehow, and then immediately blow whatever opportunity presented itself afterwards.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
And as there are bits later where all your NPC pals are at least briefly playable, I can tell you... she doesn't even know holy! All the other white mages do, but not her.
Surely she knows it during her Heavensward and Stormblood arc though? I know by Shadowbringers she's got more of a black mage deal going on, but before that she's still a white mage isn't she?
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
guy who heals after taking damage versus woman who heals from doing damage:
Like Regulus said this could be a slog. I'm not sure if the Rot could affect Logan but if it did then at best I think it would just slow down his healing (since his healing factor would be working twice as hard dealing with damage from attacks and the Rot at the same time). The Rot doesn't affect Malenia's sword so I think it wouldn't affect the Adamantium either. I think Logan's claws could damage or destroy Milenia's weapon and prosthetic limbs. If he doesn't go berserk then I think he might have the presence of mind to use that strategy. From what I've read it sounds like they both have a similar approach of diving into battle, swinging away and letting their healing take care of any damage. I think she might be able to take him down if she blitzed him hard and fast but I think that he might try to do the same thing to her. I think Logan's slight edge in overall durability is what will eventually carry him through. Wolverine is victorious but exhausted and can only mutter about needing a freaking drink before he collapses right next to Malenia's prone body.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
tall guy versus even taller guy:
They both decide to eschew fighting and agree to have a basketball competition instead. Kramer convinces Shaq to play a game of HORSE instead of 1 on 1. They agree and go shot for shot with some misses here and there until eventually they both wind up at H-O-R-S. Kramer is up and decides to try a final shot where he has Shaq put on a helmet and then he bounces the ball off Shaq's head into the net. Kramer makes the shot and then they switch places when Shaq tries to make the shot. Shaq puts a little too much oomph into his throw and knocks Kramer out but misses the basket. After much consideration the refs make the call that Kramer has won the match.

Shaq congratulates Kramer (once he wakes up) then they agree to have lunch the next time Shaq is in New York and discuss different business ideas since they became friends while talking about their lives during the game of HORSE. Kramer recounts this tale to an incredulous Jerry, George and Elaine at the diner but they are all dumbfounded when Shaq actually walks in and greets Kramer. Shaq and Kramer head off to a different restaurant for lunch but right after they leave Kramer pops his head back through the door and yells "I told you so!"
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
bat man with supernatural powers against cat woman with supernatural powers:
Still thinking about whether or not Y'shtola can put the Count down for himself...
 

Olli

(he/him)
* Ragnarok wins. There's just too much firepower against a single Power Ranger, no matter how cool his powers are.
* Dracula lost to a robot, because that's just not his wheelhouse. Y'shtola, however, is flesh and blood and doesn't seem specifically geared towards fighting the undead, let alone the worst of them all.
* Kramer isn't the smartest guy, seeing that he lost to a nerd, and he clearly isn't a physical match for Shaq.
* The only way to beat Wolverine is to be impervious to stabbing (armor doesn't help against adamantium claws), or able to keep him away from stabbing distance indefinitely. And then you need to be able to stop (preferably kill) a regenerator with an all but indestructible skeleton. Even high DPS doesn't help. He'll just keep coming. Wolverine wins.
 
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