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Two will enter, one will leave: The Thunderdome Thunderdome

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
It's time to answer that age-old question for good: who would win in a fight?

Ground rules: You'll be presented with character pairings. You should give your vote in bold along with a description of your rationale, which can be as brief or detailed as you like. If you change your vote, please edit your original post; either unbold your previous vote or strikethrough. You can change your mind as often as you like until the voting deadline.


Character tiers: To avoid overly lopsided matches early on, characters have been grouped into rough tiers. I'm not familiar with all of your entries, and it's possible that some of these tierings are inaccurate. Don't worry about it. The tiers are just a convenience, and the lines will quickly blur. That said, here's our list:


SUPERMAN TIER
These are characters with world-wrecking superpowers. I also included the giant robots in this tier.
  • Gurren Lagann
  • Goku
  • Unicron
  • Domon Kasshu + God Gundam (Mobile Fighter G Gundam)
  • Maximilian Jenius + YF-29 Durandal Valkyrie (Super Dimension Fortress Macross)
  • R-90 "Ragnarok" Hyperdrive System Fighter (R-Type III: The Third Lightning)

IRON MAN TIER
An unarmed human could probably not defeat these characters, regardless of strength or skill. All the kaiju ended up here.
  • Inframan
  • Steel (Sapphire & Steel)
  • Optimus Prime (G1 Powermaster)
  • Godzilla
  • The foot (Monty Python)
  • Wolverine (X-Men)
  • Josuke Higashikata (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #4)
  • Darth Vader (Star Wars)
  • Air Man (Mega Man 2)
  • Avatar Korra (Avatar: The Legend of Korra)
  • Samus Aran (Super Metroid)
  • Joseph Joestar (young) (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure)
  • Bomberman
  • GLaDOS
  • Haruko Haruhara (FLCL)
  • Dalek (Doctor Who)
  • Count Dracula
  • Lt. Cmdr. Data (Star Trek: TNG)
  • Mothman
  • The Luggage (Discworld)
  • Mega Man (Mega Man 2)
  • Gamera (Heisei Trilogy)

SAGAT TIER
These are characters with some experience or skill in fighting.

  • The Hammer Bros. (Super Mario Bros.)
  • Shaquille O'Neal (Shaq Fu)
  • Darkwing Duck
  • Galford D. Weller and Poppy (Samurai Shodown)
  • Sherlock Holmes
  • Max Rockatansky (Mad Max)
  • Egg Shen (Big Trouble in Little China)
  • Whitney's Miltank (Pokémon GSC)
  • Link (The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom)
  • Bebop (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
  • Malenia, Blade of Miquella (Elden Ring)
  • Ash (Evil Dead)
  • Leona Heidern (King of Fighters)
  • Julius Belmont (Castlevania)
  • Y'shtola Rhul (Final Fantasy XIV)
  • Caesar (Wargroove)
  • Rush (Mega Man 3)
  • Sif (Dark Souls)

BOB SAGET TIER
We would generally call these characters "noncombatants."
  • Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)
  • Miles O'Brien (Star Trek: TNG/DS9)
  • Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
  • Bernard Bernoulli (Day of the Tentacle)
  • The monster at the end of the book (There's a Monster at the End of This Book)
  • Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
  • Droopy the Dog (Hanna-Barbera, et al.)
  • Speedy Eggbert
  • Flik (A Bug's Life)
  • Michael Scott (The Office)
  • Rincewind (Discworld)
  • Missile (Ghost Trick)

WILDCARD TIER
Depending on how the wind's blowing, these two can either slay gods or lose an arm-wrestling match. They will be paired entirely at random.
  • Kirby
  • Haruhi Suzumiya (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)

Format: We have 60 characters -- just shy of 64. That means four characters automatically advance to round 2, taken from the top tier. The rest will fight it out in round 1, where winners will advance to round 2 and losers will go to the losers' bracket, where we will determine the least strongest character of all. After the initial round, it's single elimination for both brackets.

Please note: I will do my best to represent all the characters you chose for this tournament of champions. That said, I'm not familiar with all of them. Please feel free to supplement my descriptions, and if you like, you can PM me with a writeup or with any details you think I should know.

Starting matchups are coming in just a minute!
 
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Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator

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Dalek (Doctor Who)

Daleks are an extraterrestrial race of xenophobic mutants bent on extermination of all other forms of life. The tank-like robots we associate with the Dalek are merely a shell; the Daleks are not, in fact, robots.

The top protrusion on the Dalek shell is an eyestalk. The lower one is an energy weapon -- the "death ray." Daleks also have a telescoping arm that can be used for manipulating technology, scanning intelligence, or crushing foes.

It was long assumed that Daleks could easily be thwarted by a simple staircase, but they have thrusters that allow them to levitate. Despite this, Daleks are not particularly mobile, but they make up for that deficit in raw firepower. "Daleks don't climb stairs; they level the building."


Lt. Cmdr. Data (Star Trek: TNG)

Data is a hyperintelligent android with superhuman (and super-Klingon) strength. He serves as the second officer on the USS Enterprise-D throughout the course of The Next Generation.

While Data is not aggressive by nature, he does have combat experience, and he often serves as an ersatz security officer. In addition to his robotic strength, Data is equipped with a type-2 phaser. As you might expect, he possesses superhuman marksmanship as well.




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Hammer Bros (Super Mario Bros)

Bipedal turtles equipped with an inexhaustible supply of hammers, which they throw in arcs that are difficult to dodge. Later games both watered them down and introduced scarier foes, but they are the most dangerous enemies in their debut game.


Bebop (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Once a human, Bebop was transformed into a mutant warthog. He retained his purple mohawk and gained the proportional strength and tenacity of a warthog.

Bebop is commonly depicted wielding the Anxietron Ray. While the gun is lethal in the video games, the cartoon version instead instills fear and anxiety into its targets. Bebop also enjoys using a somewhat-more-dangerous laser gun and melee weapons such as crowbars and baseball bats.




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Droopy the Dog (Hanna Barbera, et al.)

Droopy is an anthropomorphic basset hound with a subdued personality. Despite appearances, Droopy can exhibit superhuman strength when angered ("You know what? That makes me mad"), easily lifting objects like anvils.


Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)

Bugs is a trickster. While he can be cartoonishly strong when it befits him, he prefers to turn his opponent against himself, whether through mind games or through antics that defy physics.


Votes due by end of day Friday, August 25.
 
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Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Is this supposed to be Data versus one Dalek or against multiple Daleks? [answered - It's just a one]

There are so many variables it's hard to call this one but I think Data and his positronic hyperbrain (along with his android body) will be enough to defeat a Dalek (even if Data might not be able to completely destroy it).

Bros vs. Bebop is an interesting battle. In theory, Bebop should have more range with his guns and could dominate the fight but he is pretty stupid so he might just charge in closer and get hammered (and not in the good way). Now if the H Bros flanked him from both sides and alternated attacks and feints then I think they could easily get him running in circles until they defeated him. But I don't think the Bros will do that - they seem set on using their standard strategy no matter what. When comparing experience I think Bebop has the advantage - he has fought a different type of turtle but he has far more experience fighting any type of turtle than the Bros do fighting anything like him (unless you count Mario in the different animal suits). I think the final determining factor is durability - the Bros can not really take much damage at all while Bebop can withstand a fair amount of punishment. So I think Bebop will emerge victorious but probably not unscathed.

Droopy said:
You know what? That makes me mad.
Bugs can't resist trolling his opponents so eventually he will make Droopy mad and then it's all over for Bugs. So Droopy wins this one. (Historically Bugs has also lost or tied far more than Droopy has.)

Hey Issun @Mogri, Inframan is a costumed Power Rangers-esque superhero so I don't think he belongs in that tier.
Edit: Apparently Inframan can grow to a giant size (like Ultraman) but he rarely ever uses that power and mostly just remains man-sized. So either way I still think he belongs in the IRON MAN TIER.
 
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Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
The entry was "Dalek," singular. Compare "Hammer Bros" -- I assume there are two, as pictured.

Did you mean to tag me instead of Issun? I put Inframan in "Superman Tier" because the Wikipedia article mentioned that his name in Chinese was "Chinese Superman," but if he's basically Ultraman, then lumping him in with the kaiju is certainly more appropriate. I'll make the update. (But, again, the tiers shouldn't matter much.)
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Also, what the heck is a Type-R phaser? I can't find any reference to that online.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Don't worry about it. The tiers are just a convenience
Okay, yeah, but.... this is a forum full of nerds, who are gonna frequently fail rolls to resist quibbling, sorry in advance.
My quibble: a Macross Valkyrie is basically like a souped-up fighter jet and isn't going around destroying worlds. It's more on the level of Optimus and Kaiju. (Heck in Mac7 valkyries basically end up fighting kaiju of sorts.)

Anyway, on the actual current matches - unfortunately I'm a bit pressed for time so I gotta be brief today.

- A Dalek has some very dangerous firepower, but they're not as smart as they think they are, and I trust Lt Cmdr Data to be able to come up with some clever strategy to neutralize one without too much trouble, perhaps after an initial skirmish to assess its capabilities and intentions.

- Hammer Bros vs Bebop feels almost too close to call. Both are thugs relying on brute force and tenacity to overcome opponents. I think I'll give it to the Hammer Bros as their tricksy and unpredictable movement patterns combined with a numbers advantage might leave Bebop disoriented and frustrated until he takes one too many hammers to the face and goes home.

- The last match also seems like it could go either way. Torz's argument has merit, but it's not like an errant anvil often stops Bugs, so I'll just say I'm voting for the day the comedy falls differently and Bugs comes out on top.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
Okay, yeah, but.... this is a forum full of nerds, who are gonna frequently fail rolls to resist quibbling, sorry in advance.
My quibble: a Macross Valkyrie is basically like a souped-up fighter jet and isn't going around destroying worlds. It's more on the level of Optimus and Kaiju. (Heck in Mac7 valkyries basically end up fighting kaiju of sorts.)
Matchup spoilers: With the rest of Superman Tier getting a bye in round 1, the Durandal ends up matched with the R-90, and while I'm unfamiliar with Macross and haven't played any Rs-Type in a hot minute, that doesn't seem like a total blowout in either direction. I could definitely be way off, though!
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
I only have passing experience with the other franchise there as well, but eh, that seems reasonable!
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
First match: as mentioned, the amount of firepower a single Dalek has would be shocking even to the Star Trek universe. But also, they have never been the most effective in using it. I think this is a match that all shakes down how they are introduced or more importantly how Data is introduced to a Dalek. To my mind, this isn't "this is the two being thrown into a generic arena". If that's the case, I think the Dalek might win Just really powerful. So I think they just happen to meet on some planet of mystery. If Data meets the Dalek and it's already come out swinging with death ray, Data will be able to affectively take cover and fire back. If Dalekanium (that's right, that's what it's called) is a metal that can endure the strongest phaser fire, even then I think Data can find a way to outwit it and overcome it physically (regular humans have done this in the classic era). If it's a situation where Data has a chance to talk to it, I think despite his naivete, he'll be able to figure out the Dalek's are unreasonable and dangerous an take the offensive. If he's completely blindsided or if the Dalek does decide to trick him (not common but Dalek's have certainly used trickery before, trying to convince people they are allies before betraying them), the Dalek can win. Let's forget the latter because a lot of people can win a fight by a blindsiding and that's not fun. The second is possible if this is part of a greater Dalek plan but in general, they like to flex their muscle. So based on the most likely scenario, Data will win, though it won't be an easy match.

Bebop is formidable but also stupid. I think when approaching a new threat, he's going to make all the wrong choices, particularly one like the Hammer Bros who rely on proper timing to beat, which Bebop sucks at. So I give the edge to the Hammer Bros.

Finally, I love Bugs more but every so often he chooses the wrong opponent. Cartoon characters like this work not by "strength" and "power" rules, but rules of narrative and comedy. Bugs is usually the good guy but some rare times, he will start picking a bad fight. Droopy never picks a fight, he just finishes them. Droopy would finish this fight. Even worse, Bugs sometimes has a problem quitting fights like this so he could have left with a lump an in trying to satisfy his pride will get a pounding.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Okay, yeah, but.... this is a forum full of nerds, who are gonna frequently fail rolls to resist quibbling, sorry in advance.
We have so many penalties on that roll it's really hard to ever pass it.

I think when approaching a new threat, he's going to make all the wrong choices, particularly one like the Hammer Bros who rely on proper timing to beat, which Bebop sucks at.
Somewhat ironic given where the term bebop originally comes from.
 

Vaeran

(GRUNTING)
(he/him)
It was long assumed that Daleks could easily be thwarted by a simple staircase, but they have thrusters that allow them to levitate. Despite this, Daleks are not particularly mobile, but they make up for that deficit in raw firepower. "Daleks don't climb stairs; they level the building."

I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you pointing this out. When I made that nomination I braced myself for an onslaught of misinformed "lol just go upstairs" comments. So thank you!

Data vs. a Dalek is a tough one. On the one hand, a single Dalek is a tremendously powerful and destructive war machine. On the other, Data can be almost frighteningly effective and resourceful, in one instance proving able to single-handedly seize control of a Galaxy-class starship with the entire crew helpless to even slow him down. (In fairness, he caught them by surprise and it took them a while to even realize he was acting against them, but it's still impressive.) I think in this case I'm going to have to vote against my own nomination, but mostly because I can't bear the thought of poor, sweet Data being exterminated. Data.

Neither Bebop nor Rocksteady have ever achieved anything of note, whereas the Hammer Bros. are responsible for ending more SMB1 runs than I care to count. Hammer Bros.

People have made some persuasive arguments in favor of Droopy, and I'll admit I have only the vaguest recollections of watching Droopy cartoons... but I have to listen to my heart on this one. Big Chungus Bugs Bunny.

EDIT: Just fixed a typo, didn't change my votes.
 
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Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
@Mogri where are these fights happening and what do the combatants have at their disposal?
Gray area. They definitely have their standard gear: Data will carry a phaser, a tricorder, and a communicator, though he won't be able to use outside help, so the communicator won't do much for him. I imagine they meet on whatever passes for neutral ground in that matchup, but that will vary from match to match. Make any assumptions you need to and feel free to state your assumptions.
 
Okay. Data has similar skillsets to the various Doctors, and thus could pull off a victory. Bebop could brute force the Hammer Bros., and Bugs is smart enough that he could take Droopy, though if any matchup in this dome might be a stalemate, it's this one. Too bad we'll likely never see them match wits in an official cartoon.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
I have not watched Doctor Who basically at all, so that, plus my confidence that elite Starfleet officers can overcome quite a variety of hostile entities, means  Data gets my vote.

Bebop is a boss fight in multiple TMNT games, whereas Hammer Bros. are just normal enemies in Mario. If nothing else, this means Bebop has a (non-visible) health bar the and Bros. do not. So he wins.

I'll vote  Bugs because I want to see him in the winner's bracket.
 

Daikaiju

Rated Ages 6+
(He, Him)
Data over the Dalek; Daleks win primarily on numbers, reputation, and underestimation. A single foot soldier Dalek lacks all three in this match up.

Hammer Bros. over Bebop: Bebop loses against turtles. This is a known Fact.

Droopy over Bugs: A lot of Bugs's tactics would fall flat against the exceedingly unfazeable Droopy. As Johnny noted, Bugs has faced off against similar opponents and lost. Bugs would recognize his impending defeat and just leave.
 

RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
Data vs a Dalek would be a battle of wits, and with Data having a tricorder I think hr would be able to quickly win the informational battle.

Hammer Bros vs Bebop feels a bit lopsided, but I feel that (without Rocksteady) Bebop would only be able to take down one Hammer Bros (idk how much of a pair Bebop and Rocksteady actually are l --- I just remember they double-teamed you in Turtles in Time sorry I'm a fake TMNT fan plz don't ban me)

Droopy would be able to beat Bugs, no questions asked. Bugs will lose his composure, and as soon as that happens it's game over for him. also Droopy belongs in Superman Teir plz fix
 

Purple

(She/Her)
Daleks are never an actual credible threat. While it would take the full length of the episode, I'm confident that Data would eventually work out one of the many many weaknesses of a little squid piloting a salt shaker with poor manueverability. Probably something involving tachyons.

The next fight is mook vs. mook. One could argue that turtles who pose a threat should easily beat the guy who fails to be a real threat to turtles, but that's assuming the cartoon version. In games, Bebop often holds his own pretty well. Ultimately though, every iteration of Bebop can easily take a hit and keep standing, and if you can eat one hit on the way in, Hammer Bros. are no big deal.

These last two I couldn't see having a real fight properly, so much as a conflict wherein Bugs would be trying to get a rise out of Droopy through an escalating series of pranks while increasingly losing composure, and cartoon structuring demands that in such a case Droopy would never even notice Bugs was trying to get a reaction from him.

In summation, Data Bebop Droopy.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Droopy is the original Ultra Instict Shaggy.
Yeah, that checks out. But Droopy does not have anywhere near Shaggy's appetite. (Of course, few things short of a black hole can match Mr. Rogers* voracity.) If I'm remembering correctly, Droopy does enjoy a good square meal but does not indulge anywhere even near Shaggy's level. Droopy does seem to have a different type of hunger. Now that I think about it he was actually quite a horndog even with his usual demeanor.

*Huh... Could they be related?

A lot of Bugs's tactics would fall flat against the exceedingly unfazeable Droopy. As Johnny noted, Bugs has faced off against similar opponents and lost. Bugs would recognize his impending defeat and just leave.

Droopy would be able to beat Bugs, no questions asked. Bugs will lose his composure, and as soon as that happens it's game over for him.

These last two I couldn't see having a real fight properly, so much as a conflict wherein Bugs would be trying to get a rise out of Droopy through an escalating series of pranks while increasingly losing composure, and cartoon structuring demands that in such a case Droopy would never even notice Bugs was trying to get a reaction from him.
I had not considered the match going this way but I can certainly see it shaking out like that. I would imagine it would play out as whichever scenario is more hilarious.
 
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Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
The results are in:

Data EX-TER-MIN-ATES the Dalek with a clean sweep.

Hammer Bros knock out Bebop by a single vote.

Droopy likewise edges out Bugs Bunny.




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R-90 "Ragnarok" Hyperdrive System Fighter (R-Type III: The Third Lightning)

The R-90 Ragnarok features a modular weapons system: it can carry any of a variety of weapon sets to adapt to its threats, although it can't swap weapons on the fly. It can make use of Bits, which are similar to Gradius's famous Options. These... aren't very descriptive names, huh? Anyway, they're orbital weapons platforms that fire in tandem with the ship.

Most prominently, the Ragnarok features a Hyper Wave Cannon that can be charged to fire a massive beam that pierces enemies and terrain alike. Regardless of the weapon set, a fully-upgraded Ragnarok can output silly amounts of projectiles. It has the notable weakness of being incredibly frail: basically anything that touches it will destroy it.


Maximilian Jenius + YF-29 Durandal Valkyrie (Super Dimension Fortress Macross)

The Durandal is equipped with two machine guns, a heavy quantum beam gun, a heavy shield containing an assault knife, 12 micro-missile launchers, and a twin beam cannon that can deploy as a turret. Maximilian Jenius is a, well, genius pilot who is particularly skilled in marksmanship but also quite proficient in close combat. He has had success using his YF-29 even against more technologically-advanced machines.




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The foot (Monty Python)

Taken from Bronzino's Allegory with Venus and Cupid, the foot ends the title sequence of Monty Python's Flying Circus by descending from the heavens and crushing the title. It also featured on a Simpsons couch gag, crushing the couch and its occupants. Its strengths include the element of surprise.


The Luggage (Discworld)

A large chest made of sapient pearwood, which is impervious to magic. Half suitcase, half homicidal maniac. It can move quickly by producing hundreds of little legs, and it has killed or eaten people, monsters, doors, walls, and entire ships.




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Bomberman

Equipped with an inexhaustible supply of bombs, Bomberman usually starts matches slow and weak, but as he destroys terrain, he gathers powerups that greatly increase his combat capabilities. He is often his own greatest threat, as he commonly falls to chain reactions of his own bombs.


Mothman

A cryptid native to West Virginia with the appearance of a slender, muscular man (or sometimes a large bird) about seven feet tall with white wings. Its eyes glow like bike reflectors and have a hypnotic effect on viewers. Mothman is allegedly responsible for the collabse of the Silver Bridge in 1967, which killed 46 people. Skeptics claim Mothman sightings were due to an unusually large heron or sandhill crane -- but those would achieve a seven-foot wingspan at best; they wouldn't approach seven feet in height.

Little is known about Mothman, of course, but it's reported to be as fast as a car, and it produces a loud screech. Some cryptozoologists believe Mothman to be an alien or supernatural manifestation.


Votes due by end of day Wednesday, August 30.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
If we're looking for a neutral playing field for this dogfight then we would need a very specific location. Wide open space or sky would give too much of an advantage to the YF-29. A narrow corridor that's just large enough to fit in would give too much advantage to the wide area of destruction that the R-90 can produce in a place like that. So I think the battle would have to take place in a debris field in space or inside a planet or capital ship / giant space station with narrow corridors mixed with wider spaces.

If there is any room to move whatsoever then I think the R-90 will struggle against the YF-29's speed and variable forms (especially since the YF-29 won't telegraph what it will be doing unlike most of the R-90's opponents). I think the R-90 could use some of its tricky attack angles/pattern to hit the YF-29 but I think Max could dodge that enough at the last second to just take a small amount of damage to the Fighter mode (possibly forcing him to use Battroid mode for the rest of the battle). And after getting hit once I think Max would adjust and not fall for that again. The R-90 might be able to get another hit in with a Force Release but I think it would also get mostly dodged and end up as just a glancing / non-fatal hit. With the Force unit out of position Max and the YF-29 could close in and finish the R-90 off (after dodging a final surprise attack from a Bit Device). Maximilian Jenius and the YF-29 Durandal Valkyrie emerge victorious.

A huge human foot d‘or, in a field azure; the foot crushes a serpent luggage rampant whose fangs are imbedded in the heel.

“And the motto?”

Fabricati diem, pvnc.

(Or Nemo me impune lacessit. If you prefer the original.)
Have you ever stepped on a Lego brick with no shoes on? So think of that but think of how it would feel if you stomped on the brick instead. And instead of a brick it is a ludicrously violent luggage trunk made out of magical wood. So The foot most likely will take The Luggage by surpise and get its initial attack off but I think all that will accomplish is hurting the foot and making The Luggage absolutely bloody furious. The foot will then start getting its toes bit (most likely completely off), its ankle bone smashed by ramming attacks and its Achilles bitten right through. The poor foot will be left lying on the ground with The Luggage repeatedly smashing into it until the referees (or whoever is in charge of this) can through some miracle somehow get The Luggage to stop long enough to get the battered remains of The foot off the field (which was azure but is probably stained with blood now). The Luggage wins.

The Mano a Mano battle feels so dependent on exactly what power-ups Bomberman has (if he even has any). I think in order to make this battle fair it would have to take place in a maze/arena that was partially open to the sky but there are small roofs over some but not all of the non-destructible pillars. The covered areas are tall enough for Bomberman to stand in comfortably but not much more than that.
And Mothman's whole deal is predicting disasters. Disasters like boxing oneself in with overeager bomb placement.
If that's the case then I don't think there's any way that Bomberman can win because the only way that I think he can win is by using the right combo of items with just the right timing to catch Mothman off guard. At best Bomberman might be able to fill the arena with so many bombs that there's no way either of them could avoid them. But that just ends with a tie (which I'm not sure is even allowed here). So I will go with Mothman then (unless someone else has some really compelling argument for Bman).
 
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Daikaiju

Rated Ages 6+
(He, Him)
Valkyrie over R-90: For all it's arsenal it manuvers like a cow. The valk would LITERALLY fly rings around it.

The Luggage over The Foot: the minute the Foot comes down, the Luggage's maw will engulf and end it

Bomberman over Mothman: Mothman will die attracted into lethal range of the blinking bombs.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
This is a case where I'm not super familiar with either party though I've played a little R-Type and know the general vibe of these kinds of games. Still someone who is familiar will have to help me; is Valkrye super maneuverable (which is to say is it ever seen dodging a near literally cascade of enemy fire, with intent), withstanding strong blasts or having strong shields? I'm sure it's come under enemy fire but I need to know what is the MOST bullets it ever had to dodge at one time. If I think it's enough, my take is similar to Daikaiju's.

When I saw the Foot, I thought I might vote for it almost every time. It's not quite on the level of, say, One Punch Man, but I feel some of our entries work by certain comedy rules. (BTW, I believe Saitama can lose one of these if he has an opponent who isn't aggressive who can talk him into making it a fair game of wits or something. Saitama is amenable to good people and not endlessly intelligent). The Foot exists to smoosh unsuspectingly? How do you defeat it? General narrative violence isn't going to work. Even people using their wits, it is more funny if a smart plan is undone somehow. And ironically, I think on the surface the Luggage, powerful as it is, is less unbeatable than the Foot. But I think the Foot exists in a realm of almost pure comedy and a seemingly random piece of luggage gobbling it up is funnier than another smooshing. Smooshing people is funny. Smooshing just an object doesn't have the same effect. But that object eating the smoosher? That's funnier (in theory anyway. It's really all in the selling of a gag, of course, which this long winded explanation did not). So the Luggage wins.

The only Mothman I've seen is the one from the movie where it can read minds. But that's based on a "non-fiction" book that posits it is a psychic intelligence. And that's ONE source of many. So as it is, it's a powerful monster that maybe can break a bridge. This is tough because I've played Bomberman games and his bombs work best and backfire best in a maze. Bomberman would probably have to try to lure the mothman into a trap and I don't know if the Mothman is going to buy it. I think he's just fly over him, pick him up and drop him. So I put a win in the Mothman box.
 

RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
For the first matchup, I'm not very familiar with either contestant, but it the Valkyrie is a maneuverable as y'all say, its beam can pierce the R-Type ship's force pod thing, and its micro missiles are homing, then I would have to handily give this match to the Valkyrie.

For the Luggage versus the Foot, this one actually seems tougher. While "impervious to magic" would perhaps help the Luggage against many of our other contestants, I don't think the blunt-force trauma of a giant foot qualifies as magic. Moreover, I presume that foot could stay in the air out of the Luggage's reach and stall indefinitely, or at least until the Luggage gets bored --- and once it gets bored and closes its mouth, the Foot will have the comedic advantage and handily footily smash it to pieces.

Bomberman doesn't have much in the way of vertical movement or attacks, so barring a lucky break I think the Mothman will just pick the poor boy up and throw him in the ocean.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
Well this is rather straightforward.

Max Jenius is one of those real bigtime Mary Sue types whose whole deal is being unparalleled in dogfights and specifically dodging the coolest looking spam of tracking missiles, easily able to dodge a shmup ship's limited attack range.

The Foot has a certain omnicience of dropping in center frame and then the scene ends, so no amount of speeding away can really save one.

And Mothman's whole deal is predicting disasters. Disasters like boxing oneself in with overeager bomb placement.
 
I have to feel that a Gundam would beat a glass cannon any day.

I think that The Luggage was underranked in this contest. It really is a force of nature as much as anything. Nothing has ever stood up to it and come out at all well. The foot is big and surprising but come on.

The Mothman may be a harbinger of doom, but Bomberman is a master of both strategy and explosives, BOOM!
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
I think that The Luggage was underranked in this contest. It really is a force of nature as much as anything. Nothing has ever stood up to it and come out at all well.
The only power that ever really affected The Luggage was love.
 
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