We *certainly* can't let this important subject sit by the wayside.
Anyway, as I was chronicling on the OLD BUSTED forum, I've been reading, and evaluating every single tie-in to the 2015 Secret Wars arc; which is a lot of comics. Here's what I said so far:
And we can ADD to that;
Witchunter Angela 1602 is... a lot of concepts to be throwing at the wall; starring everyones favorite Lesbian Murder-Angel, Angela into the 1602 continuity, where she works along with her Gal-Pal to hunt down and kill William Shakespeare! And also The Enchantress. It's also an excuse to try to cram variants on a bunch of characters that'd be really hard to shoe-horn into Medieval England like Venom and the Guardians of the Galaxy, so I admire the moxie, even if I didn't really wind up enjoying the book as much as I wanted to. Highlight was the short vignette in the middle written by Noelle Stevenson that looked and read like it could have been slotted directly into She-Ra with no adjustments.
And speaking of Fairly Gay OoC Marvel stories written by Noelle Stevenson, Runaways was another clear highlight of this experience. It also has nothing to do with the actual Runaways comic, outside of the presense of Molly; bunch of kids attending the Dr. Doom School for Gifted Youngsters are displeased to learn how the schools headmistress; Valerie Doom (ne Richards) makes sure that the school only produces the Very Best and Most Loyal subjects for Dooms inner circle; Institutional Child Death Sports. Sanforde Greens Art pops off every page (if there was no drawings except for peoples expressions, it'd be worth reading), story and characters are a lot of fun, and, again, it really feels like a template for She-Ra; even a bunch of character designs overlap. Also, Jubilee neither confirms nor denies she's a vampire.
Anyway, as I was chronicling on the OLD BUSTED forum, I've been reading, and evaluating every single tie-in to the 2015 Secret Wars arc; which is a lot of comics. Here's what I said so far:
Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows Was a lot of fun, and I kind of feel like it was a story Dan Slott wanted to write anyway, and Secret Wars gave him an excuse to do it without fussing about. It barely even acknowledges Secret Wars itself (it’s briefly mentioned that New York is a barony under GodDoom, but Spidey doesn’t understand any of it), and it’s got a lot of Mary Jane alternating between taking down some heavy weight villains via cleverness and being a Good Mom. Spidey winds up saving the day via Dad Jokes. Highly recommended.
Old Man Logan However, was a load of nothing. Best point of comparison I guess would be The Dark Tower, if Roland was Wolverine. Wolverine is propelled from one Battleworld Barony to another by explosions, and nobody quite explains to him what’s going on, and then he eventually lands in a world with the X-Men in it and decides to join a resistance in order to bring down GodDoom. Logan spends most of the story wondering if he’s just badly concussed or going senile in his old age. Not my cup of tea.
Civil War Was... not the most chill and fun thing to read right at this moment in history, but I read it anyway. It’s less of an alternate take on CW, and more of showing what would have happened if A bunch of firefighters didn’t tackle Captain America and convince him he was wrong (also, New York was blown up when Cloak exploded). Turns out It Was Skrulls. I didn’t like Civil War to begin with, and I didn’t like Civil War if Everyone Was a Bigger, More Violent Jerk. No connection to Secret Wars at all, either.
Infinity Gauntlet, on the other hand, was *excellent* and quite possibly the best thing to come out of the whole event. And possibly Gerry Duggan/Dustin Weavers entire careers. It has perhaps the least possible connection to Secret Wars (to the extent that the main book outright contradicts a lot of what happens in this) one. A family is left scavenging out in the ruins of a post Annihilation Wave world, constantly on the run from the remaining bug army... and then their Nova Corps mom comes back and turns everyone into a Power Ranger. Including the Dog. Also, they turn into a Mega Zord to fight Thanos.
And Dustin just arts the HELL out of every friggin' page;
I thought Renew Your Vows was going to be the high point of Secret Wars, but NOPE!
X-Men ‘92 is a comic I have to give props to for having some genuinely neat layout tricks based on its origins as a digital, rather than physical, comic, which tied in nicely to the main conceit of Cassandra Nova being reinterpreted as the living embodiment of the Fox Kids BS&P censors. For all that, though, it did come across as being a bit long winded, clocking in at nearly double the length of nearly every other book in Secret Wars.
Nice to see that Chris Sims got over his irrational hatred of Cyclops, at least.
Still only midway through the spinoffs, but I’m feeling like Planet Hulk May be the most high concept and weird of them all. Its a Conan style Sword and Sorcery story starring Gladiator Captain America and his mighty steed, Devil Dinosaur, going through the Hulk territory of Greenland in order to rescue Bucky and kill the upstart Red Hulk at Dooms request. Which mainly involves him chopping up monsters with an axe and tyrannosaur
Spider Verse Is kind of a weird choice of something to cram into Secret Wars, given the nature of both story arcs, and the kind of loose rules of how Battleworld is supposed to work, but it’s a fun story so I can forgive it. Not my favourite incarnation of Spiderverse, but not the worst one either.
Inferno was the other one I read before, so I wasn’t shocked to learn I really liked it. Felt like if Escape from New York crosses over with The Real Ghostbusters, with Colossus, Domino and Madelyn Pryor trying to free a corrupted New York from Illyana. Works like a Bad Ending Sequel to the original Inferno. Really fast paced and fun, and chock-a-block with Javier Garron drawing weird monsters.
Deadpools Secret Secret Wars is definitely a tie-in to Secret Wars, just not the one where the Multiverse was destroyed, and all that remains is Battleworld; a patchwork planet made of pieces, held together by the will of its lord and master, Victor Von Doom. It's the other one; the one written to help Kenner sell action figures because focus-testing proved that "Secret" and "Wars" were popular terms for toy sales. It's just that Deadpool was there all along and nobody noticed it. It's not a bad hook for a story, and the mini was fun, but it's not the best story about Deadpool being shoehorned into an older Marvel story. More enjoyable than Cosmic Ghost Rider Destroys History, which was basically exactly this in every way, however.
MODOK Assassin was... pretty much the platonic ideal of an out of continuity story focused entirely on MODOK; he's the primary defender of KILLVILLE, a region ruled entirely by supervillains, wedged between the Days of Future Past and House of M regions, where he spends his days gleefully executing everybody who looks at him funny, and winds up meeting and falling in love with Angela, who just happened to show up and shares his zest for violence. She's completely unaware that he's big-head-over-tiny-heels in love with her. Things escalate pretty quickly, with MODOK and Angela being true to what they were designed for.
Series has a bright cartoony art style that works well with the... otherwise horrific levels of violence. I also read all of MODOKs dialogue in his EMH voice; which is honestly about the ideal sound for the guy.
2099 is, for one thing, kind of confusing as a SW inclusion; patchwork planet made of alternate realities, sure, that I can accept, but this one chunk is also 80 years in the future? It's arbitrary things that can cause the cables that suspend my disbelief to snap. As a means to bring back the 2099 continuity, it's not bad, and I did like this reinterpretation of Captain America, but at the same time, almost every single character was completely unlikeable (did some course-correcting on Herc, but he still spent half the mini being a drunken lout with some pretty bad views on women). I'd say skip it, unless you just can't get enough of the Dweller in the Darkness.
And if I had a hard time enjoying the last one because of one of the leads' were a total hole, then, hoo-boy, Where Monsters Roam was not going to do great by me. In fairness, the book never stops pointing out, time and again, that the main character suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks for that, and a great many other reasons, but it's still a solid five issues of the main character being just the absolute worst. It's the 1920s, and a retired air force pilot/jackass, and his comely air-fare find themsevles stranded on a dinosaur infested amazon-island somewhere on Battleworld. And he fortunately has a really bad time there as he is a complete waste of a person and I really don't feel bad for him at any point. Then the book ends with him washing up on a literal island of shit with the woman he abandoned earlier. Book wears its "Not FOr General Audiences" disclaimer proudly, and I really wanted to get back to fun superhero stories long before it was over.
Well, Armor Wars wasn't quite the fun superhero adventure that... every other story called Armor Wars was (the Marvel Adventures one is hard to top), but it WAS a fun cyberpunk detective story; it's about James Rhodes trying to uncover the murder of this domains version of Spider-Man, and finding out how it's connected to the mysterious plague that forces everyone to wear Iron Man suits.
It concludes with Tony Stark fighting a couple of Megazords, which is kind of weird in terms of tone, and one of the rare times when the fact that people talk so much in a superhero fight struck me as being weird.
Future Imperfect really shifts gears a lot for a five issue mini. It mainly follows a resistance group trying to overthrow Maestro (arguably the least of the Big Hulk villains), and then, instead everyone decides to go look for the Destroyer instead. Even if his name wasn’t on the cover, you could tell Greg Land handles the art.
Avengers vs. X-Men has little connection to the story it’s named after and, furthermore, it’s also an extended Little Marvels story. Whole thing had the same kind of vibe as one of the goofier Calvin & Hobbes story arcs
And also X-Tinction Agenda, based on an X-Men story I know nothing about, starring the Least Interesting member of Cyclops’ family and Wolfsbane, a character about whom I know little, all in service of Super Heroes Fighting Superheroes
So, with all that against it, I... kinda liked it?
It doesn’t take long to set aside “Heroes Fighting their Friends” in favour of “Everyone Fighting One Bad Robot”, and the villain is Cameron Hodge in full Phalanx regalia, so it’s a visual treat all the way through. Plus Wolfsbane got a redesign so that instead of looking like a Teenwolf (objectively the worst kind of whillwerf), she’s all gangly and monstrous, which looks rad.
There’s also a b-plot about Hank bringing dead X-Men back to life via time travel that... doesn’t seem to go anywhere, save that that’s what he was doing in the main X-Men comics too
Years of Future Past takes what is arguably the darkest timeline in Marvel (and that is a competitive field) and makes it just a smidge lighter... up until the actual ending where everything winds up in an even worse place than DoFP. Most of the story had a YA Dystopia vibe, like if Hunger Games had mutants instead of teenage death sports.
Plus side, packs of wild tigers prowl the ruins of New York, so... that’s not something you usually see in stories like this.
Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps is, for one thing, a delightfully silly title, and second, really good. I’d put it up there with Infinity Gauntlet and Inferno. It’s also one of the few Secret Wars tie-ins that points out of the main plot points of the main story; that Doom is really bad at being a God; when the high flying aces of the Banshee Squadron (the titular Carol Corps) realize that an awful lot of Doom Scripture about the arrangement of the universe doesn’t make a lick of sense They all go AWOL in order to disprove the non-existence of outer space.
It’s really fast paced and well written and I really wanted it to keep going, it’s one of the few SW tie-ins that didn’t make it to a full five issues.
I didn’t know what to expect with Mrs. Deadpool and the Howling Commandos, but what it wound up being was another one of the high points of the Secret Wars tie ins; starring a character I only very recently became aware of existing at all; the titular Mrs Deadpool, Shiklah (a succubus Hell Queen). Except in this continuity, she never married him and was instead forced to marry Count Dracula, but instead leads a treasure hunt with the Howling Commandos (Werewolf By Night, Frankenstein, The Living Mummy, Man Thing and a centaur Symbiote named Marcus) with the goal of finding a magical weapon that can successfully kill Dracula.
Books really fast paced, has great art, plenty of well executed gags and it’s a story where a bunch of monsters gang up on a Dracula. Even manages to make Deadpools whole *thing* not overstay it’s welcome and even work in the framework of the story. Really kind of wish Gerry Duggan was able to bring this level of energy to his run on Guardians.
Weirdworld was another really good one. Which was especially surprising because it’s a five issue mini about Arkon. A character who you might remember as...
Oh who am I kidding, nobody remembers Arkon.
Anyway, the whole thing feels like a cross between Samurai Jack and Conan the Barbarian, as Arkon travels the well named Weirdworld trying to find his passage home, while the regions baroness, Morgan Le Fay repeatedly tries to have him killed with lava men, orcs, and the undersea apes of Apelantis, to name the more conventional problems.
It’s another one of the high points of the Battlezone books, and when I learned there was a second mini series that acts as a sequel, I immediately added it to my queue.
And we can ADD to that;
Witchunter Angela 1602 is... a lot of concepts to be throwing at the wall; starring everyones favorite Lesbian Murder-Angel, Angela into the 1602 continuity, where she works along with her Gal-Pal to hunt down and kill William Shakespeare! And also The Enchantress. It's also an excuse to try to cram variants on a bunch of characters that'd be really hard to shoe-horn into Medieval England like Venom and the Guardians of the Galaxy, so I admire the moxie, even if I didn't really wind up enjoying the book as much as I wanted to. Highlight was the short vignette in the middle written by Noelle Stevenson that looked and read like it could have been slotted directly into She-Ra with no adjustments.
And speaking of Fairly Gay OoC Marvel stories written by Noelle Stevenson, Runaways was another clear highlight of this experience. It also has nothing to do with the actual Runaways comic, outside of the presense of Molly; bunch of kids attending the Dr. Doom School for Gifted Youngsters are displeased to learn how the schools headmistress; Valerie Doom (ne Richards) makes sure that the school only produces the Very Best and Most Loyal subjects for Dooms inner circle; Institutional Child Death Sports. Sanforde Greens Art pops off every page (if there was no drawings except for peoples expressions, it'd be worth reading), story and characters are a lot of fun, and, again, it really feels like a template for She-Ra; even a bunch of character designs overlap. Also, Jubilee neither confirms nor denies she's a vampire.