Make sure you don't hurt nobody. Let's Play Barkley: Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden!

Originally Posted by Choosing a path

<Barkley> Which way is faster? We don't have time, Cyberdwarf!

<Cyberdwarf> I honestly don't know but I would prefer the Underground Railroad. It simply speaks to my Dwarven sensibility for caves.

<Balthios> The only preference that I have, Charles, is that we make haste in our decision. Our method of transportation is up to you.

<Cyberdwarf> If we're going to take the ferry, we should leave this parking lot from the right. The Underground Railroad is in the building at the top of the lot.

<Barkley> I'll... I'll try to make my decision soon.

Originally Posted by Expedient Travels

<Barkley> We need to get to Liberty Island as soon as possible. Is the Underground Railroad faster than the ferry?

<Tubman> I've been conducting for as long as I can remember and there's no way to tell. It all depends on the weather. If the weather is good, the ferry can get you there much faster than the Underground Railroad. Inclement weather though, and you're best off with the railroad. Never can tell about the weather nowadays though. So, you getting on?

Originally Posted by Will of the Train

<Barkley> It's my son. Listen, can you just get us there as fast as you can?

<Tubman> Oh I would if I could. You can't rush the rails though, sonny. They don't take to that. You just gotta let em take you where they take you.

<Barkley> Don't give me that-

<Tubman> Also I don't really control it, you just push this button and it goes.

<Barkley> Oh... Ok.

Originally Posted by Bugbears

<Tubman> You hear that too? Probably just a bugbear... you get those in the tunnels sometimes. Usually they don't get on board, but it's happened. Could you folks check it out for me? It's probably in one of the rear cars.

<Balthios> No problem, miss. Come on, Barkley, Cyberdwarf. Let's see if we can find this bugbear.

Originally Posted by BRD Attack!

<Balthios> The B-Ball Removal Department!

<Barkley> Goddamn it... I knew it wasn't a bugbear.

<Trooper> That's him - Charles Barkley. Remember our orders.

<Barkley> Cyberdwarf, Balthios, stay back! I'll take care of these chumps...

Originally Posted by End of the Line

<Sergeant> So, you got past all of my men. Doesn't matter.

<Barkley> What, you think you're gonna stop us? You B-Ball Removal Department scum just don't know when to quit.

<Sergeant> Jordan gave me specific instructions not to let you leave this train. Consider this your final stop, Charles Barkley.

Originally Posted by Suplexing Won't Save You Now

<Cyberdwarf> A bomb...

<Barkley> Fucking Jordan. As if the diabetes wasn't enough. I swear to both of you... I swear to-

<Cyberdwarf> There's no time for that.

Originally Posted by Detaching the Rear Car

<Balthios> You mean... disable the coupling?

<Cyberdwarf> Yes, the coupling.

<Barkley> I don't get it.

<Balthios> Couplings are what connect each train car to the next, Barkley. But what Cyberdwarf's talking about doing... I don't know about this.

<Cyberdwarf> Nobody's detached a coupling while moving, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. It's all we can do now, and besides...

<Barkley> Hoopz... Ok Cyberdwarf, what do we do?

<Cyberdwarf> You two just stay back... finally my hardy constitution and dwarven knack for machinery will be put to use.

Originally Posted by Cyberdwarf Teaches Left From Right

<Cyberdwarf> Likewise, the rightmost switch should detach this car from the rest. Do you hear that? We need to disable the [rightmost coupling].

Originally Posted by The Daring Plan

<Cyberdwarf> I'll come after you the moment I flip the switch.

<Balthios> We can't leave you hear with the bomb, Cyberdwarf.

<Barkley> He knows what he's doing, Balthios. Let's go.

Originally Posted by Liberty Island

<Cyberdwarf> What a disaster... I wonder if the old man is even still here?

<Balthios> This is strange to be sure. Let's try and find a resident here, perhaps they could help us. Liberty Tower is up north, that's probably a good place to start.

Originally Posted by Make It Quick

<Barkley> Is the ferry faster than the Underground Railroad?

<Captain> Depends on the weather. I can get you there in no time if the sea is easy. You coming along?

<Barkley> Yeah.

<Captain> Alright, get on board. We're leaving right now.

Originally Posted by This Is Not How You Romance

<Balthios> You're thinking about Maureen again, aren't you?

*pause*

<Barkley> She loved the water. I'd take her out here sometimes and we'd just look up at the moon. I'd tell her sometimes that the moon looked like a b-ball and she would laugh and tell me I was obsessed. Maybe... Maybe I was. It looks like her though, doesn't it?

<Balthios> The moon?

<Barkley> Just... the shape. Her head was that shape, that... sphere. Maybe that's why I loved her, because her head was shaped like a b-ball.

<Balthios> It does resemble her a little.

Originally Posted by Columbus Day

<Balthios> Oc... October 12? You mean... Columbus Day?

<Barkley> Yeah, I guess that would make it Columbus Day.

Originally Posted by Apparently Balthios Hates Columbus Day

<Balthios> I... I must go!

<Barkley> Balthios!?

<Cyberdwarf> What did you say to him, Charles?

<Barkley> I don't know, only that-

Originally Posted by Duergar Attack!

<Barkley> Wh-what the hell!?

<Cyberdwarf> It's a duergar and it looks like it wants to fight!

<Barkley> We don't have time for this shit!

<Cyberdwarf> But it looks like we've got no choice! Here it comes!

Originally Posted by Curse of the Were-Duergar

<Cyberdwarf> Th-that duergar was you??

<Balthios> I... I am sorry, Charles, Cyberdwarf. My presence has put you at risk. I was... irresponsible.

<Barkley> Balthios?

<Balthios> You see... long ago I was cursed by a gypsy. Every Columbus Day I am forced to turn into a rampaging duergar filled with bloodlust and disregard for those around me, entirely consumed by a hunger for rubies and gemstones. I have no control over myself and my actions and... and I regret it.

<Cyberdwarf> Why didn't you tell us, Balthios? We could have helped.

<Balthios> I forgot how close to Columbus Day it was. I am sorry. Besides, what could you have done? The only way to remove the curse is to eradicate all gypsies. But it seems now that the curse is temporarily lifted and that I will not be plagued with the burden of duergars until next Columbus Day.

Originally Posted by Truck Pump

In the course of my career as a vidcon specialist (my own coinage, spend it wisely), I have never seen such blatant and frankly, sickening ignorance as that exhibited by the "people" (if, in fact, they are homo sapiens at all, as their intelligence implies elsewise) that claim that Zelda is not an RPG. There is nothing that Shigeru "Shiggy" Miyamoto could possibly do to make the vidcon any more of an RPG as it meets every single criterion for being one, particularly that it takes place in an imaginary realm with a fantastical beastiary, the damsel/villain ratio is at or above standards, and that the core emphasis of the gameplay is on bedazzling all foes with impeccable swords and sorcery. Furthermore, this line of thought can be extended to all vidcons in which the player controls a character (hence, roleplaying), though I cringe slightly at the thought of such mundane vidcons as Madden being RPGs, as they do not even include exotic weaponry such as the tonfa.

Originally Posted by Kalir

<Cyberdwarf> Th-that duergar was you??

<Balthios> I... I am sorry, Charles, Cyberdwarf. My presence has put you at risk. I was... irresponsible.

<Barkley> Balthios?

<Balthios> You see... long ago I was cursed by a gypsy. Every Columbus Day I am forced to turn into a rampaging duergar filled with bloodlust and disregard for those around me, entirely consumed by a hunger for rubies and gemstones. I have no control over myself and my actions and... and I regret it.

<Cyberdwarf> Why didn't you tell us, Balthios? We could have helped.

<Balthios> I forgot how close to Columbus Day it was. I am sorry. Besides, what could you have done? The only way to remove the curse is to eradicate all gypsies. But it seems now that the curse is temporarily lifted and that I will not be plagued with the burden of duergars until next Columbus Day.

Originally Posted by Donny

I want to see a game or movie called "Eradicate All Gypsies".

Originally Posted by Introducing Ourselves

<Barkley> Whoa, hold on! I don't got any gripes with you pal, I'm just here looking for an old man. I was told he could cure diabetes.

<???> Is that so? Then you're not of them...

<Barkley> Look, I don't know what's going on here. I'm not sure I want to know. All I want is for my son to be cured so I can be on my way.

<???> If only things were that simple. However, it appears with some cooperation we could mutually achieve our goal. The name is Rutherford. You would be?

<Barkley> Charles Barkley. So do you know who this old man is? Can he really help my son?

Originally Posted by Entering Liberty Tower

<Barkley> What do you mean?

<Rutherford> He is locked away in Liberty Tower. You may only enter with posession of the Palladium Orb Sceptre.

<Barkley> Yeah, I saw it was locked. Where's the sceptre at?

<Rutherford> It lies in a cave, near the bottom of the island. A fool named Jenkins trapped himself inside a cave and is protecting the sceptre, thus you may encounter difficulties obtaining it.

<Barkley> Jenkins huh? I've dealt with worse. Thanks for the help, I'm heading out now.

Originally Posted by Pipe Get!

<Rutherford> Not at all. I've been meaning to get rid of it.

<Barkley> Great. Let's get the pipe.

Originally Posted by Happy Coincidences

<Barkley> Really? What luck that I picked up the correct objects to solve this conundrum.

Originally Posted by Jenkins

<Barkley> I didn't come here to fight anyone. I'm just looking for a key.

<Jenkins> You mean...

Originally Posted by Jenkins' Key

<Barkley> Yeah, that looks like it. Can I have it?

<Jenkins> What kind of fool do you take me, Gerrad Jenkins, for? I fought to the death protecting this from the wrong hands, and you think I would simply hand it over?

<Barkley> Someone named Rutherford told me I needed the key to enter Liberty Tower so I can see Yelmirb. If you don't hand it over, I'm gonna have to slam you.

<Jenkins> Rutherford? So that's what Raffleson goes by these days. You really are clueless. That scum bag wants Liberty Tower to be unlocked so he can kill Yelmirb. Tell me, what good is unlocking the tower if Yelmirb dies?

<Barkley> What! He didn't tell me that.

<Jenkins> Of course he didn't... Listen closely, I'm fatally wounded and don't have much time left. I will give you this key, but you must kill Raffleson -- who you know as Rutherford -- before entering the tower. If you don't, you'll never get a chance to see Yelmirb.

Originally Posted by Raffleson Gone

<Balthios> This is odd. Maybe he caught word of our conversation in the cave and ran off?

<Cyberdwarf> Let's not concern ourselves with this, he's gone and he can't touch Yelmirb if he's not here. No need to waste any more time, we should head to the tower.

<Barkley> You're right, Liberty Tower it is.

Originally Posted by A Sweet Victory

<Barkley> This is what Jenkins was probably talking about. Raffleson wanted to kill us before we got to him so he could get the sceptre. Looks like his master plan ran out of "gas".

<Balthios> ...

<Cyberdwarf> ...Let's just find a way out.

Originally Posted by Loot Crate

<Balthios> Odd indeed. The concept of random "loot" inside crates has been well documented in tomes of old age. This crate must be very old.

Originally Posted by Suspicious Circumstances

<Balthios> There must be a key piece of information we are missing out on. Something sinister happened on this island.

<Cyberdwarf> We don't need to worry about local politics. Now that we have the key, we need to head to the tower as soon as possible.

<Barkley> Yeah, to Liberty Tower then.

Originally Posted by Richards' History

<Barkley> My son is sick and I need to see Yelmirb.

<Cultist> Well, unfortunate as that is, the tower is locked.

<Barkley> Yeah, I know all about that. I got this key so I can enter the tower.

<Cultist> Key? You mean the Orb Sceptre and the Immaculate Rod?

<Barkley> What are you talking about? Some chump named Rutherford told me all I needed was this sceptre to enter the tower.

<Cultist> Rutherford? Oh, you mean Richards right?

<Barkley> Jenkins told us his name was Raffleson.

<Cultist> Ah yes, Gerrad Jenkins. He is correct, but his "true" name is Richards. You see, Richards came here 6 years ago to cure his own diabetes. However, he tried to split the faith at Liberty Island by promoting radical ideas. We had no choice but to exile him, but he keeps returning under different names, trying to start up a new revolution. He goes by many names, but his true name remains as that; Richards.

<Barkley> None of that matters. All we need is that rod you were talking about, can you tell us where we can find it?

<Cultist> Yes, but first, I must tell you of a tale... Oh! Forgive my rudeness, I am Mack; a level 15 Sugar Slayer. You are safe with me outsider. Now, follow me to the tablet. There is much explaining to do.

Originally Posted by The Needles of Hope

<Mack> ...L.I.B.E.R.T.Y. followers to travel the lands spreading the word. We called them the Needles of Hope. After a year of their successful campaign to liberate the world of sugar, something sinister occured. You see, we initially thought it would be as simple as telling people not to consume sugar and that would be the end of it... We were wrong.

<Barkley> What does this have to do with the rod? I don't have time for your fairy-tales.

<Mack> Be patient my friend, the answers will come in time. As I was saying, a proactive message was not enough to end the ills of sugar. What we didn't know was that sugar was sentient... Living, if you will, be it a very basic existence. Its ultimate goal was to control humanity through diabetes, acting as a parasite to force its will upon the unsuspecting populace. Once we set the wheels in motion to stop it... it evolved. Its first incarnation, as we knew it, were Sugar Delmons.

<Barkley> Delmons? You mean demons?

<Balthios> No, Barkley. Delmons are part of the same genus as Demi-Daemons, Arch Demonoids, Lesser Demonkin, and more commonly Demons. They are slightly more powerful than demons but this is highly subject to debate as Demons possess Imp Summon level 2 whereas Delmons possess a Junction ability to seed powers from entities. I am actually quite shocked the connection between sugar and delmons was never made given the obvious traits.

<Mack> Excellent observations and you are correct. So the Sugar Delmons knew their days were outnumbered, and as a last ditch effort to combat our aggressive war against them, they all convened at the Tower of Glucose. Otherwise known as the former Domino Sugar factory, its destruction during the cyberpocalypse lead to a great pillar of sugar being created. After their meeting, they decided to use ancient magicks to merge into one entity... Das Fructose Ungeheuer.

<Barkley> The what? Are you just making shit up now?

<Balthios> The Diabeastie... I thought it was only a myth?

<Mack> Take a look around you, my friend. The sugarification of our holy land is just a small... Taste, if you will... Of its assault against Liberty Island. With the tower locked, Yelmirb will undoubtedly die soon and sugar will prevail.

Originally Posted by The Location of the Rod

<Barkley> ...understand? Just tell me where the rod is.

<Mack> You are naive Mr. Barkley, for this lore is the only guard us mortals have against Das Fructose Ungeheuer. However, I will not press further if you refuse to learn, instead I will comply with your request. The Immaculate Rod lies deep beneath this island. You can find an entrance to the nether regions through the well near the center of town.

Originally Posted by Sugar Counter

<Mack> You're as good as dead.

Got 1 Sugar Counter(s)!

<Mack> Yelmirb bless you...

Originally Posted by Chaff Grenade

<Cyberdwarf> A chaff grenade. Hmmm, while dwarves are more keen on throwing axes and satchels to toss at foes, I'm sure my expert lobbing skills could extend to grenades. Let's take it.

Originally Posted by Lair of the Diabeastie

<Cyberdwarf> He also said the Diabeastie lurks down below. We need to be cautious.

<Barkley> The Diabeastie is a myth that these fruit cakes on the island made up. Let's get that rod...

Originally Posted by Cornered The Diabeastie?

<Diabeastie?> ...

<Cyberdwarf> It's holding the rod. We're going to have to slay this beast.

<Diabeastie?> Then it's a good thing that I am not the Diabeastie.

<Barkley> What? You can talk?

<Diabeastie?> Perhaps you will recognize me without the disguise...

Originally Posted by Four Names is Not Enough

<Reginald> Richards is such an old name... I prefer the title Reginald, to be frank.

<Barkley> Enough with the name games, chump. Hand over the rod.

<Reginald> You don't understand do you? The evil you are commiting...

Originally Posted by Reginald's Radical Ideas

<Barkley> I had enough of you fruit cakes and your gatdam tales already! Just hand over the rod!

<Balthios> Barkley, we need to hear him out. It would be irresponsible to pass judgement otherwise.

<Barkley> He tried to kill us. Good enough reason for me.

<Reginald> I did not know I could trust you... I also apologize for my actions, but I believed a greater good would be accomplished. You see, I did have a radical belief according to the plebeians inhabiting this island. I believed we should clone Yelmirb, so that we could rid diabetes once and for all. They let "morals" cloud their judgement and said it would be inhumane, creating someone to absorb the suffering of others. But who would have to know? Is it not better for one man to carry the burden than society as a whole? They call this killing Yelmirb, Icall it rebirth.

<Cyberdwarf> You can't make a decision like that. It's not yours to make.

<Reginald> How dare you speak in such tone when you desire Yelmirb's service. Do you think he says some magick words, and mystically takes the diabetes away from your son? No. He absorbs it, so your son does not have to live a crippled life. Yelmirb understands his sacrifices to humanity. Subsequent clones would as well.

<Balthios> You can't play Clispaeth. No one can. You're deranged.

<Reginald> Very well. I see you are as ignorant as those who lived on this island... No matter! Fear my deadly magicks!

Originally Posted by The Diabeastie

<Diabeastie> Sugar SuGar SUGaR sugaR.

Originally Posted by Mack Dies, Nobody Cares

<Mack> Noooo! Gahhhhhh!

<Balthios> So the tomes were right... It does exist.

<Barkley> He's just a chump like any other. Hey Diabeastie! Over here!

Originally Posted by Octavius Steambrast

<Steambrast> It is I, Octavius Steambrast; traverser of the skies and above. I have come to retrieve an item of great magickal importance, the Magick Poleshaft. I came upon this island to slay the Diabeastie with my own hands, but thanks to you fellows that is no longer necessary.

<Barkley> You mean this Poleshaft? Hmmm, I don't know. I think I could use this.

<Steambrast> Very well, I would not expect you to go uncompensated. What say you, that in exchange for the relic, I pledge 20% of profits I make from my Mechanical Bird to the United Negro College Fund?

Originally Posted by More Convenience

<Cyberdwarf> It's a good thing we no longer needed those items.

<Barkley> Yeah. At least we can finally see Yelmirb now.

Originally Posted by The Man in the Tower

<???> You have come for something, haven't you?

<Barkley> My son, Yelmirb, he's-

<???> That name... that name, it frustrates me. Do not call me that. Call me Brimley. Wilford Brimley.

Originally Posted by Wilford Brimley

<Barkley> H-how do you know my name?

<Brimley> I know many things, Charles Barkley. Please, tell me about your son.

<Barkley> They... That bastard, he...

<Brimley> I sense a great level of diabetes within your son.

<Barkley> It's... It's type 2, the kind they were never able to cure. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to take him. Please, Wilford Brimley, I need you.

<Brimley> Many people need me, Charles Barkley, yet I can only help one. Do you know why I am hooked up to this machine? I have a gift. Perhaps others would call it a curse, but I choose to look at it differently. You see, I have the ability to take away someone's diabetes and make it my own. It hurts me, Charles Barkley, it hurts me very badly and because of the extremely high levels of diabetes in my body, I must remain connected to this insulin machine at all times. I have remained in this room for over fifty years absorbing the suffering of those around me, but my body has grown weak and not even the constant insulin drip of my machine can help me anymore... I am dying, Charles Barkley... I am dying.

Originally Posted by Why Cure Hoopz?

<Barkley> I love my son.

<Brimley> How much do you love him?

*pause*

<Barkley> More than I loved Maureen.

<Brimley> That is all I wanted to hear. I will put Hoopz into my machine and I will take away his agony.

Originally Posted by Vinceborg Strikes Back

<Cyberdwarf> Y-you son of a bitch! What the hell are you doing here!? What the hell do you want?

<Vinceborg> My mission was to kill Hoopz Barkley. I am here to make sure that happens.

<Barkley> God damnit, Vince! Snap out of it, don't you see you've been brainwashed by B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.? This isn't like you, Vince! You're not one of the bad guys, you shouldn't be doing this!

<Vinceborg> N-no, I shouldn-... This is not my concern. My mission is to kill Hoopz Barkley and if you're going to stand in my way, then I'll kill you too!

Originally Posted by Condition

<Balthios> Y-yeah, I think I'm al-

<???> Dad?

Originally Posted by A Happy Reunion

<Hoopz> Dad, where am I? What's going on?

<Barkley> Hoopz, I was so worried... I was so worried, Hoopz.

<Hoopz> What's going on? Where are we?

<Barkley> L-let's go Hoopz. There are some things I need to tell you.

<Hoopz> Okay dad.

Originally Posted by Hoopz's Strange Origin

<Hoopz> What do you mean, dad? I'm just a normal kid. I'm no different from any of my friends.

<Barkley> There's... something I never told you.

<Hoopz> Huh? What do you mean?

<Barkley> Maureen... your mother... we were so excited to finally have a child. We were trying so hard for so many years and it never seemed to work. You should've seen the look on her face when she went into labor. I've never seen a woman so happy before. I'd never been so happy before. She was in labor for thirty-six hours. We knew you'd be a tough one coming out but... we never expected this.

<Hoopz> What do you mean dad?

<Barkley> She... your mother gave birth to a b-ball. It wasn't a b-ball, it was an egg but it looked just like one. We didn't know what to do and the doctor said he'd never seen anything like this before. It was another three months before you hatched, Hoopz.

<Hoopz> But... what does it mean?

<Barkley> I don't know but... but that's not the end...

Originally Posted by Back Against the Wall

But my confidence was just a facade, in reality I thought you'd grow up thinking I was a chump because I didn't win your first game. I didn't want that to happen.

Originally Posted by Nothing Can Be Done

There was only two seconds left. I didn't have enough time to shoot. I didn't have time to do anything. There was nothing I could do.

Originally Posted by Last Resort

I closed my eyes and focused my b-ball energy. I had never done this before. Nobody had.

Originally Posted by On the Cusp

<Vitale> ...game before!

This was it. It was now...

...or never.

Originally Posted by What Does It Mean?

<Barkley> I don't know what it means, son. I don't know why you were the only one to survive, but I believe there's a reason. You wouldn't have been born in that egg if there wasn't a reason. You wouldn't have survived the Chaos dunk if there wasn't a reason. You're special, Hoopz. You can't deny it.

<Cyberdwarf> Whether your differences are a blessing or a curse have yet to be proven, Hoopz, but I believe that whatever lies ahead is waiting for you.

<Hoopz> You mean like... ~F.A.T.E.~?

<Cyberdwarf> Perhaps...

Originally Posted by Juwanna Confesses

<Barkley> J-Juwanna Mann?

<Juwanna> I needed you to know, Charles that... that I love you with all my heart and bones.

<Barkley> Juwanna...

Originally Posted by The Dimension Whistle

<Juwanna> ...use it wherever you want and it only works once.

<Barkley> J-Juwanna, I... Thank you.

<Juwanna> No Charles. Thank you.
Got 1 Dimension Whistle(s)!

Originally Posted by A Heartfelt Gift

<Juwanna> Y-yes?

<Barkley> This turkey feather belonged to Maureen. It means a lot to me, Juwanna Mann. I want you to have it.

<Juwanna> Charles, I can't.

<Barkley> Juwanna, please... Take it.

Originally Posted by Finding Cuchulainn's Tomb

<Juwanna> Thank you Charles. Will I ever see you again?

<Barkley> I don't know, Juwanna. We're looking for manufacted jamicite and we don't know where to start.

<Juwanna> I'd check Cuchulainn's tomb if I were you. I've heard there's a large cache of it there. Do you know how to get there?

<Barkley> Not really.

<Juwanna> You'll have to take the Underground Railroad to get there. It's just down the steps, just talk to the conductor.

<Barkley> Juwanna.

<Juwanna> Y-yes?

<Barkley> ...goodbye.

<Juwanna> Goodbye, Charles... Goodbye.

Originally Posted by Balthios is Kind Of A Jerk

<Barkley> You know I couldn't do that to Maureen, Balthios. Grow up.

<Balthios> Hahaha, you act tough but you fall for them easily, you know that?

<Barkley> I said-

<Cyberdwarf> Enough! We have very little time to get to Cuchulainn's Tomb to get the manufacted jamicite. We need to speak to the conductor of the Underground Railroad immediately.

<Barkley> Right, we can't waste any more time. Come on, guys.

Originally Posted by Harriet's History

<Barkley> What?

<Tubman> Your son, what's his name?

*pause*

<Barkley> It's Hoopz.

*pause*

<Tubman> He reminds me of someone I used to know. Someone from a long time ago. His name was... Judas.

<Cyberdwarf> (J-Judas?)

Originally Posted by True Love Lost

<Barkley> What happened? Do you mind if I ask?

<Tubman> It was a long time ago, I can hardly remember it. He got caught up in some stupid fight and got killed. I told him it was stupid, he... he knew it was stupid but he was one of those guys who held onto an idea and wouldn't let go.

<Barkley> My wife Maureen died twelve years ago. I could never bring myself to love another woman after I lost her, either.

*pause*

<Barkley> How long have you been down here?

<Tubman> In Proto Neo New York?

<Barkley> In the Underground Railroad.

<Tubman> Heh, it seems like forever. Maybe it has been, I don't know. Every day seems like forever without...

*pause*

<Tubman> ...but today didn't seem so bad.

*pause, AGAIN*

<Tubman> We're almost there. Most people don't come to the outskirts of Neo New York unless they're running from something... or maybe I'm wrong?

<Barkley> I don't know if you're wrong or you're right, really.

<Tubman> It... it's not my business.

Originally Posted by Neo New York Outskirts

<Tubman> I don't know why you're thanking me, mister. This place is as close to hell as you can get without being there. Not too many people live here and the ones that are here are only here because they've got nowhere else to go... but I don't think you're like those people.

<Barkley> Harriet... Thanks.

<Tubman> Be careful... and take care of your son.

Originally Posted by Truck Pump

I promised earlier to divulge upon you the name of my favorite vidcon, but I have a treat: not only will I give you the name, but I will give you a tantalizing summary to entice you to try it (though will no doubt need to brush up on your kanji before playing, as the vidcon's subtle yet flavorful use of Japanese idiosyncrasies can only be grasped in their entirety by those with a sound mastery of Japanese). The vidcon, as many of you may have guessed, is the absolutely stunning RPG/dating sim Angelique: Tenkuu no Chikonka, one of the first games to pioneer the moe aesthetic. It flawlessly merges a powerful and compelling RPG story and system with an incredibly advanced and realistic dating sim that has sixteen (that's right, SIXTEEN) datable characters. Though it is not generally my nature to develop crushes, I must admit to feeling the palpatations of love's caress once or twice while dating, as the characters are very beautifully draw in the anime style. Add absolutely enchanting music with incredibly lush and colorful graphics and you've got the perfect recipe for the best game ever made.

Originally Posted by Kalir

Originally Posted by Destil

But she... he... that doesn't... balls can't...

Originally Posted by Truck Pump

The vidcon, as many of you may have guessed, is the absolutely stunning RPG/dating sim Angelique: Tenkuu no Chikonka, one of the first games to pioneer the moe aesthetic.