While Eddie and Venom openly state that they love each other, They don’t kiss in this one
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Godammit, Natasha, just as the episode had sold me into shipping Carter/Black Widow.Please be advised that this episode has a mid-credits scene.
SameI watched Black Widow on D+, it was fine. Nothing much more than that.
Yep. It's entertaining enough, but nothing memorableI watched Black Widow on D+, it was fine. Nothing much more than that.
Spot on for me as well.Marvel's Eternals: The vegetables you have to eat before you can have Spider-Man 3, young man.
Don't get me wrong, I like vegetables. But mighty Christ this was a lot of vegetables. This movie really makes you feel every minute of its 2h37m runtime.
Going in with no knowledge of the Eternals from the comics whatsoever, I was worried I'd have a hard time keeping track of all the characters. That turned out not to be the case so much, as they're all given memorable powers and introduced gradually enough that you don't feel overwhelmed. I even got most of their names down (though I did think Druig was "Druid" for most of the movie until his name appeared in subtitles.) But I did have a hard time caring about most of them given how little screentime the film's able to afford each of them. For being the ostensible main character I still feel like I know comparatively little about Cersi, other than that she is The Leader, and She Isn't Sure She Can Do It But Then She Does.
Visually the movie's a treat -- lots of great scenery, I loved all the twisting gold filaments forming ornate weapons and armor and whatnot, and most of the action was pretty good. I particularly liked Makari and Phastos whooping Ikaris towards the end.
The Celestials' plan for the Eternals doesn't make a ton of sense to me. So the Emergence requires the population of intelligent life on the planet to reach a certain numeric threshold, and the Eternals are forbidden from interfering except in Deviant-related events. But the Deviants have been around since the time of the dinosaurs (with the Eternals only showing up to stop them 7,000 years ago -- a comparative blink of the eye) and have done so little damage in that time that they're not even mentioned in human history, myth or legend. But Thanos wiped out 3-4 billion people with a snap and Arishem's still like "nah, focus on the Deviants." Okay man. Phastos briefly theorizes that the Eternals' purpose was actually to advance human warfare to allow for collateral advances in medical and life-saving fields. But if that were the case, surely they'd have sent more than one Tech Guy?
The Prime Deviant (or whatever the intelligent, power-absorbing one was called -- I don't think they named it) didn't really amount to much more than a distraction during the final battle, did it? Similarly, Thena's berserker rages pop up half a dozen times during the movie but have little effect on the plot, and are left unresolved at the end. (I like that everyone tries to calm her down by reminding her that she's the Goddess of War. Yeah, she's got the fighting part down, guys! That's not really the issue here.)
When Ikaris reveals to Ajak that surviving Deviants have been released by the melting of arctic glaciers, I thought the movie was going to make a point about global warming. But then, hilariously, it turned out to be due to the Earth's core heating up in preparation for the Emergence. Wow.
It's obviously a forgone conclusion that the heroes are going to prevent the Earth from exploding, so all the hand-wringing over whether they can get it done is largely ineffectual drama. I was much more interested in the intra-team conflicts and the debate over how much they should be involving themselves in humanity's evolution. The scene in Hiroshima where Phastos mournfully declares humanity not worth saving is probably the film's emotional high point, and I would have been interested in seeing more of his journey, and Druig's.
So a colossal titan from the core of the Earth came this close to breaking through the surface. Is that... going to cause any lasting structural problems for the planet? No? It's fine because they killed it? Alright.
None of the jokes really got a laugh out of me; I think my biggest reaction was a smirk when Kingo signed to Makari to ask whether she's seen his movies, after enduring seven seconds of a conversation that wasn't about him. Speaking of Kingo, when he bowed out towards the end, I expected him to return at some crucial moment to push things one way or the other. But no, he just opted out of the climax of the movie entirely and caught up with everybody afterward. I didn't know you could do that in a Marvel movie! How utterly weird.
So the unacceptably woke LGBT propaganda that has all the internet manchildren review-bombing this movie without seeing it was... a two minute domestic scene and a quick kiss between husbands? Okay. Their blind hate makes me wish I liked Eternals more than I did, just so I could plant myself firmly on the opposite side.
Harry Styles is Thanos' brother? ...Okay.
That's really my final review on this one, I guess: "...Okay." I'm able to find things to like in every MCU movie so maybe I'll enjoy it more on subsequent viewings, but I'm not in any kind of hurry for that.
Help me, I'm stupid: Who was the voice talking to Dane at the end of the post-credits scene?
EDIT: Seems people are theorizing it was Mahershala Ali as Blade. I'd have to listen again, but maybe!
There are mid- and post-credits scenes.
Thirding the sentiment. That was the longest a movie has felt in recent memory, and I went to see Bond last week. Plus as nice as the gold-filament SFX are, I'm still very, very salty that one of the quintessential Kirby works (the other being New Gods) got whittled down to barely a splinter of its original self. No giant astronauts with incomprehensible suits and technology, just spindly rock monsters and a Star Trek starbase with tentacles. No god-machines with tubes and exhausts and cosmic energies pouring out of every vent, just a giant, featureless, black cheese wedge. And a cast so subdued and low-key they barely even emoted when they should have had some emotional reaction.