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Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Well the movie does end on them going on a romantic tropical vacation where they admit their love for each other

Just wanted to seal the deal, y’know?
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
What if... season finale(?) There's probably some commentary on how Thanos would use the Infinity Gauntlet to mess with reality, shatter spells, pull chunks of moons out of orbit, absorb or transform energies into, uh, bats, etc., while an AI can only think of throwing out big beams of Kirby Crackle, but I... don't think the writers intended it. I'll just keep waiting for someone more creative to pick up the stones and do some real, flashy, mindbending, universe-warping stuff with it.

Other than that, isn't Zultrola going to win the tug of war with Erik at some point? The former is an AI in Ultron's perfect body, the other is a human who needs to eat and sleep and other science facts. Strange is going to watch over his infinity marble for maybe a day or two?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Infinite Ultron was a lot more inventive in the last episode; must have burned out all his creative juices when he turned super giant and ate Uatu.

As for the tug of war, it looked like Steven froze them in time, so I’m going to assume that particular struggle was going to take a very long time to resolve. Personally, I’m rooting for Killmonger, as he’s not a literal nazi in an indestructible robot body
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Apparently there was one, but COVID delayed production enough that it didn’t wind up getting finished in time for the finale.

Next season, I guess!
 

Adrenaline

Post Reader
(He/Him)
Ultron even talked about how he unlimited power to control the universe before resuming using simple energy blasts against the clearly shielded Guardians. Weird.
 

Adrenaline

Post Reader
(He/Him)
I thought Venom 2 did a decent job of understanding what people liked about the first movie and giving them more of that.

Also, from the post-credits scene, maybe we should start calling it the Marvel Cinematic Multiverse.
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
My first thought was, it would have probably worked better as a miniseries, where the "not a family" found family theme could have gotten some room to breathe, and Taskmaster could have been a character in her own right rather than just a personal fridge for Nat...

My second thought was, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and, uhhhh, ok, so Marvel miniseries don't necessarily give their plot points or their antagonists the breathing room they deserve.
 

karzac

(he/him)
Yeah I don't think the length was the problem. It just needed a better script.

But that is true of every MCU production.
 

Vaeran

(GRUNTING)
(he/him)
Marvel's Eternals: The vegetables you have to eat before you can have Spider-Man 3, young man.

Don't get me wrong, I like vegetables. But mighty Christ this was a lot of vegetables. This movie really makes you feel every minute of its 2h37m runtime.

Going in with no knowledge of the Eternals from the comics whatsoever, I was worried I'd have a hard time keeping track of all the characters. That turned out not to be the case so much, as they're all given memorable powers and introduced gradually enough that you don't feel overwhelmed. I even got most of their names down (though I did think Druig was "Druid" for most of the movie until his name appeared in subtitles.) But I did have a hard time caring about most of them given how little screentime the film's able to afford each of them. For being the ostensible main character I still feel like I know comparatively little about Cersi, other than that she is The Leader, and She Isn't Sure She Can Do It But Then She Does.

Visually the movie's a treat -- lots of great scenery, I loved all the twisting gold filaments forming ornate weapons and armor and whatnot, and most of the action was pretty good. I particularly liked Makari and Phastos whooping Ikaris towards the end.

The Celestials' plan for the Eternals doesn't make a ton of sense to me. So the Emergence requires the population of intelligent life on the planet to reach a certain numeric threshold, and the Eternals are forbidden from interfering except in Deviant-related events. But the Deviants have been around since the time of the dinosaurs (with the Eternals only showing up to stop them 7,000 years ago -- a comparative blink of the eye) and have done so little damage in that time that they're not even mentioned in human history, myth or legend. But Thanos wiped out 3-4 billion people with a snap and Arishem's still like "nah, focus on the Deviants." Okay man. Phastos briefly theorizes that the Eternals' purpose was actually to advance human warfare to allow for collateral advances in medical and life-saving fields. But if that were the case, surely they'd have sent more than one Tech Guy?

The Prime Deviant (or whatever the intelligent, power-absorbing one was called -- I don't think they named it) didn't really amount to much more than a distraction during the final battle, did it? Similarly, Thena's berserker rages pop up half a dozen times during the movie but have little effect on the plot, and are left unresolved at the end. (I like that everyone tries to calm her down by reminding her that she's the Goddess of War. Yeah, she's got the fighting part down, guys! That's not really the issue here.)

When Ikaris reveals to Ajak that surviving Deviants have been released by the melting of arctic glaciers, I thought the movie was going to make a point about global warming. But then, hilariously, it turned out to be due to the Earth's core heating up in preparation for the Emergence. Wow.

It's obviously a forgone conclusion that the heroes are going to prevent the Earth from exploding, so all the hand-wringing over whether they can get it done is largely ineffectual drama. I was much more interested in the intra-team conflicts and the debate over how much they should be involving themselves in humanity's evolution. The scene in Hiroshima where Phastos mournfully declares humanity not worth saving is probably the film's emotional high point, and I would have been interested in seeing more of his journey, and Druig's.

So a colossal titan from the core of the Earth came this close to breaking through the surface. Is that... going to cause any lasting structural problems for the planet? No? It's fine because they killed it? Alright.

None of the jokes really got a laugh out of me; I think my biggest reaction was a smirk when Kingo signed to Makari to ask whether she's seen his movies, after enduring seven seconds of a conversation that wasn't about him. Speaking of Kingo, when he bowed out towards the end, I expected him to return at some crucial moment to push things one way or the other. But no, he just opted out of the climax of the movie entirely and caught up with everybody afterward. I didn't know you could do that in a Marvel movie! How utterly weird.

So the unacceptably woke LGBT propaganda that has all the internet manchildren review-bombing this movie without seeing it was... a two minute domestic scene and a quick kiss between husbands? Okay. Their blind hate makes me wish I liked Eternals more than I did, just so I could plant myself firmly on the opposite side.

Harry Styles is Thanos' brother? ...Okay.

That's really my final review on this one, I guess: "...Okay." I'm able to find things to like in every MCU movie so maybe I'll enjoy it more on subsequent viewings, but I'm not in any kind of hurry for that.

Help me, I'm stupid: Who was the voice talking to Dane at the end of the post-credits scene?
EDIT: Seems people are theorizing it was Mahershala Ali as Blade. I'd have to listen again, but maybe!

There are mid- and post-credits scenes.
 
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Olli

(he/him)
Marvel's Eternals: The vegetables you have to eat before you can have Spider-Man 3, young man.

Don't get me wrong, I like vegetables. But mighty Christ this was a lot of vegetables. This movie really makes you feel every minute of its 2h37m runtime.

Going in with no knowledge of the Eternals from the comics whatsoever, I was worried I'd have a hard time keeping track of all the characters. That turned out not to be the case so much, as they're all given memorable powers and introduced gradually enough that you don't feel overwhelmed. I even got most of their names down (though I did think Druig was "Druid" for most of the movie until his name appeared in subtitles.) But I did have a hard time caring about most of them given how little screentime the film's able to afford each of them. For being the ostensible main character I still feel like I know comparatively little about Cersi, other than that she is The Leader, and She Isn't Sure She Can Do It But Then She Does.

Visually the movie's a treat -- lots of great scenery, I loved all the twisting gold filaments forming ornate weapons and armor and whatnot, and most of the action was pretty good. I particularly liked Makari and Phastos whooping Ikaris towards the end.

The Celestials' plan for the Eternals doesn't make a ton of sense to me. So the Emergence requires the population of intelligent life on the planet to reach a certain numeric threshold, and the Eternals are forbidden from interfering except in Deviant-related events. But the Deviants have been around since the time of the dinosaurs (with the Eternals only showing up to stop them 7,000 years ago -- a comparative blink of the eye) and have done so little damage in that time that they're not even mentioned in human history, myth or legend. But Thanos wiped out 3-4 billion people with a snap and Arishem's still like "nah, focus on the Deviants." Okay man. Phastos briefly theorizes that the Eternals' purpose was actually to advance human warfare to allow for collateral advances in medical and life-saving fields. But if that were the case, surely they'd have sent more than one Tech Guy?

The Prime Deviant (or whatever the intelligent, power-absorbing one was called -- I don't think they named it) didn't really amount to much more than a distraction during the final battle, did it? Similarly, Thena's berserker rages pop up half a dozen times during the movie but have little effect on the plot, and are left unresolved at the end. (I like that everyone tries to calm her down by reminding her that she's the Goddess of War. Yeah, she's got the fighting part down, guys! That's not really the issue here.)

When Ikaris reveals to Ajak that surviving Deviants have been released by the melting of arctic glaciers, I thought the movie was going to make a point about global warming. But then, hilariously, it turned out to be due to the Earth's core heating up in preparation for the Emergence. Wow.

It's obviously a forgone conclusion that the heroes are going to prevent the Earth from exploding, so all the hand-wringing over whether they can get it done is largely ineffectual drama. I was much more interested in the intra-team conflicts and the debate over how much they should be involving themselves in humanity's evolution. The scene in Hiroshima where Phastos mournfully declares humanity not worth saving is probably the film's emotional high point, and I would have been interested in seeing more of his journey, and Druig's.

So a colossal titan from the core of the Earth came this close to breaking through the surface. Is that... going to cause any lasting structural problems for the planet? No? It's fine because they killed it? Alright.

None of the jokes really got a laugh out of me; I think my biggest reaction was a smirk when Kingo signed to Makari to ask whether she's seen his movies, after enduring seven seconds of a conversation that wasn't about him. Speaking of Kingo, when he bowed out towards the end, I expected him to return at some crucial moment to push things one way or the other. But no, he just opted out of the climax of the movie entirely and caught up with everybody afterward. I didn't know you could do that in a Marvel movie! How utterly weird.

So the unacceptably woke LGBT propaganda that has all the internet manchildren review-bombing this movie without seeing it was... a two minute domestic scene and a quick kiss between husbands? Okay. Their blind hate makes me wish I liked Eternals more than I did, just so I could plant myself firmly on the opposite side.

Harry Styles is Thanos' brother? ...Okay.

That's really my final review on this one, I guess: "...Okay." I'm able to find things to like in every MCU movie so maybe I'll enjoy it more on subsequent viewings, but I'm not in any kind of hurry for that.

Help me, I'm stupid: Who was the voice talking to Dane at the end of the post-credits scene?
EDIT: Seems people are theorizing it was Mahershala Ali as Blade. I'd have to listen again, but maybe!

There are mid- and post-credits scenes.
Spot on for me as well.
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
Thirding the sentiment. That was the longest a movie has felt in recent memory, and I went to see Bond last week. Plus as nice as the gold-filament SFX are, I'm still very, very salty that one of the quintessential Kirby works (the other being New Gods) got whittled down to barely a splinter of its original self. No giant astronauts with incomprehensible suits and technology, just spindly rock monsters and a Star Trek starbase with tentacles. No god-machines with tubes and exhausts and cosmic energies pouring out of every vent, just a giant, featureless, black cheese wedge. And a cast so subdued and low-key they barely even emoted when they should have had some emotional reaction.

I also want to understand why Ari decided that the best way to go around creating literal shepherds for his seeded worlds was to keep their mission secret from all but one, and thus allow them to connect emotionally with the people meant for slaughter. It's like telling a cattle farmer, hey, these cows must grow and flourish and be happy, letting him get attached, and never telling him that they're going to be eaten? Then Ari extracts their memories to, er, learn more about Deviants? I mean... there's zero reason to that;? If a Celestial does spring from a planet it means those Deviants failed, and Deviants in other worlds surely would evolve differently? And speaking of Deviants, their epithet makes less than zero sense now, since apparently they were the original agents rather than the deviation of the original Celestial attempt at lifemaking, the Eternal species? And now they're going to try to patch over the Thanos thing by keeping the Starfox connection and wth is that going to mean regarding his Deviant origins in the comics?

Also, as utterly stupefied as I am to see Pip the Troll in the MCU at all, gonna be weird to have the sleazy sex offender team up with the tiny drunk asshole without a straight man to keep either of them in check, but I guess Warlock's still a decade away from his own film series.

Finally, when Ari's body was seen in full, and then they cut back to the statue, and then I noticed Ikaris' silver forelocks, I just couldn't help but make the connection...

ocfun3b.png
 
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Büge

Arm Candy
(she/her)
Thirding the sentiment. That was the longest a movie has felt in recent memory, and I went to see Bond last week. Plus as nice as the gold-filament SFX are, I'm still very, very salty that one of the quintessential Kirby works (the other being New Gods) got whittled down to barely a splinter of its original self. No giant astronauts with incomprehensible suits and technology, just spindly rock monsters and a Star Trek starbase with tentacles. No god-machines with tubes and exhausts and cosmic energies pouring out of every vent, just a giant, featureless, black cheese wedge. And a cast so subdued and low-key they barely even emoted when they should have had some emotional reaction.

Here's the problem.

 
that's the first thing to make me think it could maybe be interesting and misunderstood

(am i going to watch it before it happens to already be on disney+ when i subscribe for a month for some other reason entirely? no, absolutely not)
 

Vaeran

(GRUNTING)
(he/him)
Today's Disney+ Day, apparently, and they've put up promotional teasers for all their various brands. The MCU one is 14 minutes long but the first half is entirely spoiler-laden recaps of the four shows we've already gotten this year. I have no idea who that's even for; if you've already seen the series in question it's a waste of your time, and if you haven't then it completely ruins the shows for you in advance.

Anyway, the second half is an extended look at Hawkeye, plus quick glimpses of MOON KNIGHT MOTHERFUCKER, She-Hulk and Ms. Marvel, and new title announcements for Echo, X-Men '97, Spider-Man Freshman Year, Agatha: House of Harkness, and the inevitable Marvel Zombies.

Engage with this branded Content!
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Man, one episode of Marvel Zombies was already too much for me, but whatever, with that much Content it's good to have a few I have no qualms about skipping entirely.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Having watched the thing now, this confirms that Hawkeye is mostly a straight adaptation of the Fraction run, which I’m totally in for. Good job making me show up for the MCU character I cared least about, Marvel.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
Was that actually Jamie Foxx as Electro or some kind of CGI imitation of him? Also I'm wondering if any of the baddies will be a not-yet-used-in-a-Spiderman-movie villain.
 

Vaeran

(GRUNTING)
(he/him)
Screenshot_20211116-225403_YouTube.jpg


Zoom and enhance on that license plate!

ASM-8183? Amazing Spider-Man, August, #183...

Amazing_Spider-Man_Vol_1_183.jpg


Yeeessssssssssssssssss, Sinister Sixth Wheel confirmed
 
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