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Talking Time Presents: The Top 60 Video Game Enemies Exhibit at the Valdez Museum of Video Game Box Art

Dracula

Video Nasty
(He/His)
World 4-1's Lakitu is a master stroke of game design. The stage introduces him after three worlds of generally similar, recurring threats. Lakitu is such a shock that the whole stage is designed around him - there's no other enemies present except for a few Piranha Plants. All of the stage's platforming elements hinge on evading Lakitu. Sometimes, blocks give you a barrier to stop the rain of Spineys, but you have to be careful of them inching into the space with you. And if you're savvy enough to find a block high enough to afford a stomp on Lakitu's head, he'll just come back within a screen or two.

Fire flowers let you take out the Spineys and reduce the stage's challenge significantly, but of course it takes decent skill to get to 4-1 with your powers intact. Also, since 4-1 is the furthest you can warp via 1-2's Warp Zone, you're bound to fight this guy a lot. I felt like a little god when I discovered that if you maintain Mario's top speed in 4-1, Lakitu can't keep up with you, and his Spineys always fall to Mario's left. Of course you have to get down the timing of jumping over the Piranha Plants, which is pretty specific.
 

Bulgakov

Yes, that Russian author.
(He/Him)
Laikatu is the worst enemy in the Mariokart franchise, representative of time itself marching inevitably forward.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Can't help but respect a guy who starts off as a villain, and then realizes his true passion (directing movies) and then immediately pivots to that
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
I missed the previous entry but...

Just ridiculous. How can you beat a whole house? ~ Kishi

 

Ixo

"This is not my beautiful forum!" - David Byrne
(Hi Guy)
4-1 is alright if you climb high enough up and Fire Flower Lakitu himself.
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
So, questions:

Are Spinys (Spinies? Spinii?) Lakitu's kids? Pets? Ordnance? Underlings? Minions? Are they as much a part of the Koopa Army as Troopas, they just need Lakitu to throw them over the cloud? Or are they little more than drones, barely cognizant of their surroundings, and Lakitu just volleys them over at Mario without care or concern for their wellbeing?

Are they like pillbugs? When Lakitu throws them, they're spiky spheres, but they unfurl into turtle shape on the ground.

Wouldn't it work better if Lakitu delivered the more skilled and experienced Koopa Paratroopas of the 41st Airborne Division?

What does the name, Lakitu, even mean? And why does he share so many phonemes with Pikachu? And why did he change his name from "Jug 'em"?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
I presume he breeds them, but feels nothing for them. At most he may number them for research purposes. Spinies can be bred en masse and their natural instincts make them dangerous, Troops need training and time to mature

Jug‘ems Was the name of his sisters roller derby team
 

Kishi

Little Waves
(They/Them)
Staff member
Moderator
Are Spinys (Spinies? Spinii?) Lakitu's kids? Pets? Ordnance? Underlings? Minions? Are they as much a part of the Koopa Army as Troopas, they just need Lakitu to throw them over the cloud? Or are they little more than drones, barely cognizant of their surroundings, and Lakitu just volleys them over at Mario without care or concern for their wellbeing?

Their appearance on the package illustration may provide a hint:


 

WildcatJF

I will not be stopping
(he / his / him)

CACODEMON (Doom)

#22 (80 points, nominated by Kzinssie [3], Beta Metroid [7], Ixo [18])
First Appearance: Doom (pictured: The ULTIMATE Doom)


κακοδαίμων έχει γίνει ένας από τους σημαντικότερους εχθρούς της σειράς Doom. Παρόμοια με τα Dungeons and Dragons Beholder, αυτά τα «κακά πνεύματα» αιωρούνται και φτύνουν την μπλε κόλαση στον «ήρωα». Εμφανιζόμενοι στο πρωτότυπο Doom, έχουν συνεχίσει να εμφανίζονται σε κάθε μεγάλη είσοδο από τότε, και ακόμη και διαθέτουν ένα πλούσιο παιχνίδι από αυτά διαθέσιμα για αγορά στο κατάστημα δώρων Valdez Museum of Video Game Box Art για 6,66 $ σήμερα μόνο!

Donors had this to say:
Arguably the most iconic foe in the Doom franchise, “evil Pac Man,” (as I called them when I was young) has a brilliant visual design (helps when you steal from D&D art). And if being swarmed by ground-bound demons doesn’t put you on edge, one that can ignore terrain is a special kind of intimidating. ~ Beta Metroid​

Foot dive
 
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Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Also since I took the trouble of tediously reconstructing it, the spoiler for the Cacodemon's dialog is that it's stolen from Plato: "I know that I know nothing"
 

Dracula

Video Nasty
(He/His)
I only JUST played Doom for the first time this year via the Switch port, so I came into it already well aware of its iconic designs. But I don't think I get the hype behind the cacodemons! They LOOK awesome, like beholders built out of raw hamburger, but in practice they felt mostly like fat bullet sponges. Although I haven't finished the entire game, so maybe some of the later levels make them more memorable!
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Not really; they just look really cool and are possibly the highest tier of enemies that show up with any regularity.

Just enough to warrant an “ah Nutz” when one shows up, as opposed to the “Oh frick” Barons warrant
 

WildcatJF

I will not be stopping
(he / his / him)
Hi all,

As I was reviewing my spreadsheet, I've discovered a case where I accidentally assigned the next entry a vote value where I shouldn't, so the actual total would place it at #42, not #21. I'll correct this when I have some time, but we'll be doing a little flashback entry next to make up for the error.

Thanks for your understanding!
 
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Beta Metroid

At peace
(he/him and such)
Got a couple hits from my list! That footage of Lakitu throwing change-ups with those Spinies would certainly make SMB1 more frightening. Of course, that's very similar to how Lakitu behaves in SMB3. I guess being able to scroll backward and having more mobility make that a bit more manageable (though Lakitu's quite formidable there). Once you gained the ability to attack upward, the standard Lakitu lost quite a bit of menace, but that's also when you could hijack the cloud and more variants started emerging. The third dimension really did the enemy version of Lakitu no favors, though Spinies moving at approximately 0.2 miles per hour in SM64 is the real threat nullifier. I have more to say about Spinies, but I'm holding out hope that they place on the list.

Yeah, Cacodemons are mostly in the design, and like Octo said, they're the point where "tough" and "common" meet. I think I played Doom on two occasions before this year (also the Switch port), and these guys are distinct in my mind, so that says something for them.
 

WildcatJF

I will not be stopping
(he / his / him)

So. I suppose this list mishap is a result of our little hacker friend, Marina?

Ugh, yeah, seems so. Whoever it was, they got into the master list and added 33 points to this entry.

whatz a cheetah

Hm. Well, I suppose we need to make amends somehow.

Wait. There's something here. A riddle...great, we have a joker in our midst.

Well, I do like a game of cat and mouse. Let's see if we can resolve this little quest for tomorrow's post. I imagine it'll be relevant somehow.
 

WildcatJF

I will not be stopping
(he / his / him)

Okay, I think I've pieced enough of this together to.......yes! Take that chum!

oooooooo whatz teh deal

Yes! Whoever this is, their little gift isn't that tough to crack. It's pesky, no doubt. Seems to be affecting the forum as a whole, tho.

it'z makin postin paws two off these hardz fo sho

Fourth walls aside, are we in the clear?

Mmmmm, not quite. I may have gotten to the root but it's still spread all over the place. Tonight I think I can pull all the bits and bobs and make them sing.
 

WildcatJF

I will not be stopping
(he / his / him)

any mews

It's a squirt bottle.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

.......I'm not okay with this either.

Do you think I am? Nobody likes squirt bottles. But this isn't filled with water. It says.................."REPEL".

What could that mean?

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll NOEZ

We're trying to move past that, Finn. REPEL. REPEL. REPEL. You sure it's not REBEL?

100%. Wait. REPEL...in a squirt bottle. ...oh no. It's really, REALLY good the gals missed that exhibit.

Oh? You figured something out?

Cod, we HAD A CAVE FULL OF ZUB--


--ATS...


...IN THE...



--MUSEUM



THIS...


ENTI--


Okay, okay, I think people get it. What a horrible prank!

WILD ZUBAT (Pokémon)



#42 (53 points, nominated by Dracula [17], Ixo [2])
First Appearance: Pokémon Red/Blue





Donors had this to say:
You don't want to catch them. They aren't worth enough exp to fight. They're too fast to run from. They're enemies. ~ Dracula​

Batman
 
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