Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

[Johnny Unusual]

About Tap

This is a pleasant little short film about the enjoyment and philosophy of the artform of tap dancing. This sounds like a complaint but I assure you it isn't when I say it reminds me a bit of the visits Mr. Rogers would pay to artists and performers, though the target audience is grown people. This can be enjoyed by people of all ages as well get to see people explain their love and passion for tap. It's not going to teach you too much about the history or methods (though we get a bit of that), it's a glimpse into this world of passionate artists.

 

[Violentvixen]

Not trying to say your necessarily wrong here, but it strikes me that she's now princess of a castle with a presumably huge estate that can now resume normal functioning with all curses lifted - there's no reason she has to stay stuck in her bedchambers or even the library. There's nothing keeping her and the prince from galavanting off on adventures like she's been reading about, and/or putting some book-learning to work on social and civic improvements for the local population that they presumably have some kind of now-benevolent dominion over.

That is a good argument. Certainly gives her way more possibilities, than her living in this small village.

Yeah, I've always seen that ending as being one of the most fulfilling for the heroine, and I've seen it cited as one of the better Disney endings for not just being vague "happily ever after" bullshit. She now has respect from her peers, power, a strong relationship, money(probably) and freedom. Great ending because almost all of these are things she specifically worked to earn rather than having them just handed to her. The Beast is really an angry/whiny non-entity for the majority of the movie and she built her future how she wanted (with essentially a "surprise human" boyfriend).

 

[Pajaro Pete]

Black Christmas (1974): Still a classic, still a banger, still better than Halloween. Fashion is on point. The phone calls are genuinely creepy and uncomfortable in a way I don't think I've seen in any other movie?

Black Christmas (2006): "What if we took all the creepiness and ambiguity of the original and replaced it with over explanation, a weird pointless gimmick for the killer, and a nonsensical ending?" A total flop that tries to marry the glossy slashers of the late 90s and early 00s with the gross out violence/exploitation of the mid 00s, and it does it unsuccessfully.

Black Christmas (2019): "What if we made a circa 2015 tumblr comic about Feminism into a movie?" Since it's a PG-13 movie, and thus for a younger audience, the bluntness and broadness it approaches this subject matter with makes sense, I guess. It lacks the tension and character drama of the original. Relatively bloodless as A Statement, which is cool, but I wish the lead characters had been a bit more fleshed out and interesting. What I didn't like: "Secret Magic Patriarchy Cult" falls flat for me, it feels like it cheapens the actual systemic patriarchal issues that exist, and also it's very weird to tie it specifically to Dark Arts And Evil Magic when a lot of major world religions already operate with those same principals? Also (content warning about SA - also I'm not sure if this is the proper way to tag this) the main character makes some wild logic jumps to the point she'd have to be psychic to put it together, and while normally, it's like, whatever, sometimes you just gotta keep the movie rolling, what rubbed me the wrong way here was that she makes this logic jump, and her friend is like "we need to go the police" and then she's like "No, they'll never believe us... just like they didn't believe me after I was assaulted!" and it's like... ok, I get that having that experience with the cops would lower your trust in the police, that's actually a really interesting thing to explore in a narrative, but in this specific instance her has (correctly, without any evidence) theorized that some kind of deadly supernatural force afoot emanating from a statue in a frat house, and, I don't know, something about it feels kinda gross. And with the same content warning: There's a scene in the finale where the man that had assaulted her the previous year is trying to kill her, and it's intercut with shots of when he assaulted her, these scenes are very much meant to parallel one another, and it feels weirdly graphic for a movie that had, up to this point, mostly avoided depicting too much on-screen violence against women. Then it kinda gets worse because, looking around the room and seeing her friends also in danger, she summons up the energy to fight him off this time, and it's like, bro what is the message her, that she should have just fought harder the first time?

 

[Octopus Prime]

The backing soundtrack to The Netflix original movie Malevolent me sighing in tedium. Really; could not stop yawning.

The premise is that two hucksters, based on the Amityville peeps I’m assuming, fake exorcisms and haunting in order to bill people and then whoops, find a for real haunted house.

Except that it’s also shown right from the jump that the sister really can see and exorcise ghosts and I guess she spends long tracks of the movie forgetting she can and does do that.

The only instance of the movie having an idea for a scare is the ol’ reliable “Someone sees a person then looks again and they’re gone” or the inverse, and if that’s a reliable way to make you go “YIPES! A g-g-g-GHOST!”, we’ll, good news because you will be completely desensitized to it before the movies over. And I guess the ghosts don’t really do anything except Stand There so kind of a hard sell on that front too. Some of them look kind of jacked up, but the camera angle rarely shows them from that angle, so it seems like the entire cast is unreasonably terrified of 8 year olds.

Theres also some mutilation style body horror, but that’s just in the last ten minutes of the movie, the rest of the time it’s people being terrified of little girls standing in hallways.

*Really* not doing a heck of a lot to salvage the reputation of Netflix original movies’ quality

 

[Johnny Unusual]

An Accidental Studio

A documentary of Handmade Films, the production company of George Harrison. It begins with George Harrison supporting The Life of Brian, a film no studio wanted to sell, because Harrison was such a comedy fan (and of the Python troupe especially) and secretly risked a lot more money than he was letting on. Eventually, he found a niche supporting passion projects and a run of very good movies like The Long Good Friday and Time Bandits, many with respect and a few well-intentioned failures, like the Missionary. The doc starts fine and at first it mostly feels like a rundown of greatest hits with some context of the studio as a whole. But then it becomes the tale of two "creative" forces within the studio, one really wanting to support creatives in what they do and the other a talented money man who mistakenly believes this translates to a creative talent that results in some very bad movies like Shanghai Surprise and Checking Out. It's a decent documentary at a very unique studio in the industry and probably makes a good double bill with Electric Boogaloo.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Tonight’s movie was It Follows. A movie which, like The Terminator, is about an implacable naked man who wants to kill you because he doesn’t approve of who you had sex with.

Unlike The Terminator, however, I was absolutely bored out of my tree the entire time.

I don’t think I’ve been as overwhelmed with tedium by a chart topping horror movie since The Exorcist. My only takeaway from it was being distracted by Nerd Girls weird-shaped Kindle

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Toy Story 2 is still good... but watching the first and second so close to each other, the first may be better? I think the second hits more big emotional moments, particularly when "When She Loved Me", which began the Pixar tearjerking streak. But unfortunately there's a bit more hackney humour that doesn't do it for me. Not god awful (except the outtakes reel, which is terrible) but the humour is the weaker element and the strength is in a few of the characters (obviously Woody's arc being a highlight). The animation still looks a little weird when it's focused on humans (and there are more humans in this one) but the direction is still very strong to cover some of the technical failings.

 

[Adrenaline]

I always thought the original was better than 2.

 

[Beta Metroid]

Tonight’s movie was It Follows. A movie which, like The Terminator, is about an implacable naked man who wants to kill you because he doesn’t approve of who you had sex with.

Unlike The Terminator, however, I was absolutely bored out of my tree the entire time.

I don’t think I’ve been as overwhelmed with tedium by a chart topping horror movie since The Exorcist. My only takeaway from it was being distracted by Nerd Girls weird-shaped Kindle

Dang, that's a shame. That one spooked me good...probably in my top 10 all-time horror films.

Though it probably helped that I grew up near/recognized a lot of the filming locations. That theater they visit is almost 100 years old and is dedicated to showing classic movies/events, with a live organ for pre-showing/intermission music (or accompaniment for silent films).

 

[FelixSH]

Toy Story 2 is still good... but watching the first and second so close to each other, the first may be better? I think the second hits more big emotional moments, particularly when "When She Loved Me", which began the Pixar tearjerking streak. But unfortunately there's a bit more hackney humour that doesn't do it for me. Not god awful (except the outtakes reel, which is terrible) but the humour is the weaker element and the strength is in a few of the characters (obviously Woody's arc being a highlight). The animation still looks a little weird when it's focused on humans (and there are more humans in this one) but the direction is still very strong to cover some of the technical failings.

I love the original trilogy, all three movies. But my least favorite was always the second. The first is, imo, a perfect movie. I don't think you could make it better in any way (except make the humans look creepy, of course, but even that is part of its charm).

The second is very enjoyable, but I think it really shows, how Buzz and the others are not really relevant. They wouldn't need to be in that movie. Sure, they save Woodie, but it could easily be done without them. The whole part is (very good) fat. I think that's also why the parts with Woodie are the best, because that is what the movie is actually about.

Having Buzz meet a fresh version of him, and have them interact with Zurg is a lot of fun for me, just to be clear.

Also, I recently saw that Buzz Lightyear movie, the one that is supposed to be about the show that the Buzz toy is based on. Most of it. It's way too serious, and I didn't see Zurg (who wouldn't have fit the tone of the movie anyway). A really weird decision, I would have loved to have some faux-90s toy movie. That would have been fun.

 

[Savathûn]

The Beekeeper is like a Lucas Lee film from Scott Pilgrim.

One of the first lines, spoken by The Beekeper, is “Thanks for putting up with me and my bees.”

A villain - dressed in colors meant to evoke a giant hornet! - asks him, To be or not to be. He resolutely answers “To Bee.”

It’s like a script written by a puppy, free of shame and allowed to pursue whatever is wackiest and most fun in that particular moment. It’s also the best Hitman movie we’ll ever get.

 

[Kirin]

And here I’d been thinking that Jupiter Ascending had the craziest bee-related dialog we’d be getting out of Hollywood. They can smell space-royalty, you know.

 

[Voncaster]

Dang, that's a shame. That one spooked me good...probably in my top 10 all-time horror films.

Its not top 10 all time for me, but its in my top 10 modern horror movies (2000 and on). In fact I'd put It Follows, Pans Labyrinth and the VVitch as my top 3 modern horror movies.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

No Country for Old Men is still a very good Coens movie. It remains a captivating, bleak movie where the gallows humour of the Coens can't help but peak through.

 

[Issun]

The Beekeeper is like a Lucas Lee film from Scott Pilgrim.

One of the first lines, spoken by The Beekeper, is “Thanks for putting up with me and my bees.”

A villain - dressed in colors meant to evoke a giant hornet! - asks him, To be or not to be. He resolutely answers “To Bee.”

It’s like a script written by a puppy, free of shame and allowed to pursue whatever is wackiest and most fun in that particular moment. It’s also the best Hitman movie we’ll ever get.

When I saw the ad copy saying "Jason Statham is The Beekeeper" I first wondered if I'd fallen into a rogue 30 Rock premise.

 

[Baudshaw]

Mission Impossible 7 tries. Not hard enough, but it does try. Look up the stunts on Youtube. 5/10

 

[Johnny Unusual]

The Croods is... mostly what you think. I assume. It's a largely middling animated film that manages to actually land one or two emotional moments fairly well and has a couple of great set pieces. The comedy leaves something to be desired; most of it isn't painful but neither does it hit with any particular strength. Nicholas Cage does a decent job and while not being able to rely on his physicality is fine, I do think he taps into some of his Cage-ism to give a slight edge to the caveman dad. Overall, the message of "try new things and don't live afraid" is fine, it's one of the more generic messages of films today.

I will say knowing that it was meant to be an Aardman Studios production makes me wonder what that movie would have been like. But as it is, it is one of Dreamworks more disposable efforts. Not as juvenile as the Shrek films but not as fun or exciting as How to Train Your Dragon or Kung Fu Panda.

¡Alambrista! is a really amazing 1977 film about undocumented workers that has aged so well. It's not sentimental or judgemental, it is a film that manages to give the illusion of pure objectivity. Now I don't think that's possible and I think the filmmaker definitely has a point of view on the subject but at the same time. I actually can't find too much about it except that it looks like there may have been a bit of guerilla filmmaking involved, not quite to the extent of something like Medium Cool (I don't think) but it really does have a documentary feel, a sense that rather than watching constructed, you are watching real moments.

This has a lot to do with the acting and directing, both of which feel incredibly natural. Even though the camera doesn't seem to have judgment and the acting is more about inhabiting a real feeling, the story portrays a character who comes to America who promises himself he'll get by to support his family through hard work, only to find there are too many forces working against him (society's view of him, the law, his bosses) to allow that to happen. The message is far from new but somehow the presentation makes it feel fresh and living in a space that never feels simplistic or lecturing, even when making a point.

 

[Purple]

Because I made a weird commitment a year or two ago, I have now watched MOST of the Alpha and Omega movies. I would not recommend anyone else ever do this, but you're gonna hear about them, and if you ever did want to see these for yourself, the past the first these are 40 minute long affairs so they move along at a nice clip.

1- The Original: I did not watch this tonight. I watched this a year or two ago, and coming off these sequels, this feels like an actual movie. I mean, it is NOT. It is this basically plotless thing where Wolf and Other Wolf get abducted from their home to be a breeding pair in some park trying to reintroduce wolves, then find their way home because no that's not happening, and then they end up hooking up anyway. Most of the runtime though is beating you over the head with this barely-a-metaphor howling at the moon=sex thing that none of the characters will ever shut up about and the cast for this includes very real actors like Danny Glover, Dennis Hopper, Christina Ricci, and Justin Long. So... if you want to hear those actors going awoo and singing about banging eachother, good for you. But... yeah. Anyway none of those VAs came back. Or any of those relatively high quality renders.

2- A Howl-i-day Adventure: Holy crap, this is like the movie editing version of an incomprehensible crime scene. Very bad things clearly happened here. There is no coherent plot at all, there is no consistency in who is even around from scene to scene. Motives are not explained. Despite being 100% CGI there's weird compositing and characters faces seem to be sloppily pasted on like that Cats movie. Here's my best guess at what happened here, basically pulled out of my ass: Plan A was to do this kinda dark epic war thing where there is this neighboring pack of... neo-nazi wolves is really the only way to describe them? And they abduct one of Lady and the Tramp's children (the actual main characters of all these sequels) to like, I dunno, ransom in exchange for their lands? And the neo-nazi wolf king's daughter gets maternal instincts and defects, and they form this alliance with a bunch of bears and fight them off... and they got like, maybe a third of the way into making that, realized they bit off more than they can chew, and scrapped the whole movie in favor of plan B, just doing a straight up retread of the whole first movie where they're abducted again and have to make the same journey home, but with their kids this time. And again they got like a third of the way through that and just ran COMPLETELY out of money. So they went with plan C and just randomly spliced whatever they had rendered from these two partial movies without anything to bridge the completely different everything and then oh yeah literally the last minute of the movie it's Christmas and there was this hunter guy in movie 1 who sees them walking past the gas station he seems to live in and he sees they have kids now and it's Chirstmas so he sets out a bunch of dogfood on the floor, walks out, leaves the door open, and just... drives off to start a new life somewhere and let them live in the gas station now?

3- The Great Wolf Games: Couldn't find a copy. Apparently they do a sports and girl wolfchild falls in love with boy wolf and top boy wolfchild falls in love with boy bear from 2 who talks like goddamn Billy Quizzboy, and that's kinda creepy because they're like, 50% of body mass is head kinda young and never age up at all. Bottom other boy wolfchild maybe also has a thing, who knows? Side note, top and bottom have literally the same model, and there's a lot of that.

4- The Legend of Saw Tooth Cave: There's this weird thing where all the tops in wolf town go off and hunt and all the bottoms go explore the spooky woods with catty valley girl porcupines, and also there is a spooky cave that shoots a giant spooky ghost wolf head at intruders that does the Medusa head sine wave, and turns out this blind wolf lives there because her pack who I don't THINK are the neonazi wolves but also practice eugenics wanted to murder her for being blind so her mother hid her in the spooky woods, so they murdered her mother, which is presumably why there's the giant wolf head ghost but we never really formally float that idea. Bottom boy wolfchild befriends her and they take her back home and no things still suck there so our heroes kind of adopt here and there's this other wolf girl there who says "no this place sucks they're still into eugenics but hey maybe I can hang with you but then she doesn't, and also blind wolf girl just does not show up in the rest of these that I've seen. Also the eugenics wolves live on Rabbit Poo Mountain and we keep stressing this.

5- Family Vaction: Any wolves who aren't Pongo, Perdita, or their kids just fall the hell out completely because see title. We meet 2 new wolves early on, pretty sure they're lesbians, and they're just here to exposit that nepharious forestry service workers want to abduct wolves because there's a local population crash of cariboo and the east coast needs more natural predators, and like they all move half a continent away by the end anyway so getting captured like this would be objectively great for all of them. Anyway the kids all meet their love interests (bottom boywolf hooked up with both the valley girl porcupines off-camera) and the gay bird couple that are just in the party in all of these show up too, and we make it weirdly clear that these kids are all absolutely in romantic relationships and at least heavily making out if not banging... and eventually they end up on a golf course in Iowa because that's like our Mexican border to shake the cops. But that's only like 25% of the thing because what this really is is the clipshow episode. Just CONSTANTLY setting up flashbacks, which should suck but most are to the first movie that had some production values and also the setups are consistently like, "this reminds me of the time your mother was hot for some other guy" or "this reminds me of when I drank piss. And this reminds me of when I get stuck up a moose's butt. And like why are you telling your kids these stories?

6- Dino Digs: So turns out the golf course has these fake plastic wolf cave suburbs to move into and also there is a "Sacred Burial Ground" labeled with a sign in comic sans the sleezy course owner is excabating becase it contains dinosaur bones and he wants to personally dig those up and sell them to a museum. And as soon as sunlight hits these bones the dinosaurs they belong to become alive again and we've got Amy the utahraptor wth a Barney color scheme and big eyelashs despite her family in a flashback all being proper scary dinosaurs, just hanging out with the kids, riding train cars and the like for fun, and later the T-Rex who was chasing her with murderous intent to go rampage at the end which is fine actually because nobody really likes living here anyway and the owners suck. Also there's kinda like no plot? Anway at the end there's this thing with a Vegas style fountain that hypnotizes members of the order Dinosauria and compels them to do sexy dances (this is the ONLY musical number in these sequels somehow) and also some magical sky lightshaft that either returns realivened dinosaurs to the distant past or maybe ascends them to dinosaur heaven, I'm unclear which. And then everyone just goes home.

7- The Big Fureeze and 8- Journey to Bear Kingdom: Couldn't find either of these but apparently both revisit the whole thing with the neonazi wolves 2 was supposed to be about and maybe they actually explain their deal at all or give neonazi wolf princess that heavily foreshadowed face turn they never actually got to, and then in 8 they repay their bear allies by assisting in like a bear succession war or something, I guess. And they're probably still not aging anyone up at all despite one of these taking place the following winter and like these puppies are at least a year and some months old now they should at least be teen-ish.

So yeah, these are bad, and look really really inexcusably terrible, but they're short and baffling at least? And stop being super horny after the original. Except like, talking about mom needing to pull quills out of the one kid who keeps making out with porcupines.

Oh yeah and starting in movie 2 the kids all have this thing where they do the Akira bike slide all the time but they never quite recreate the right camera angle.

Also aside from the neonazi wolves who quite clearly talk about "alphas" in the internet nazi sense we're kinda using alpha and omega as like genders I guess except Mom and Daughter are Alphas and Dad and the one son are Omegas so while I don't THINK the title is referencing the whole ABO thing I can't say for sure which of these two actually birthed these puppies.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

HOW ARE THERE THIS MANY OF THESE. HOW DID THIS BECOME THE NEW LAND BEFORE TIME (except the first Land Before Time is a movie)

Toy Story 3 is still really really good. The best one by far, though the first one is still really good. I feel like this is the one that really delivers on the promise of the second film and reckons with the empty nest and what it means. I feel like Toy Story is a franchise like Cars in that everything SHOULD fall apart when you really deconstruct it but weirdly the franchise has been largely brave about deconstructing and playing with it's rules. It explain away every logical issue but it uses many of them to really get into great storytelling possibilities. It's unfortunate but the Ken stuff (specifically, people being weirded out by his feminine aspects) feels a lot weaker this time around with fresher eyes, despite Michael Keaton being really good in the role.

Rollerball (2002) is, as you might expect, is a stupid nu metal extreme sports conspiracy thriller movie. Or maybe you didn't. It's very stupid, a lot of the action editing is very poor and the lead character is a moron. But for a movie that has like a 3% Rotten Tomato score, I'll say some good things; Rebecca Romijn is decent for an underbaked role and gets to wear a cool mask in the first act. And the last scene where all the Rollerballers and the audience rise up against their corporate oppressors is pretty enjoyable. Yes, it speaks to my values but John McTiernan, who is dropping the ball in every other aspect decides to go a bit bigger here. Still... very very very stupid movie.

Adventure - A mini-documentary by Hal Hartley where he and his wife Miho Nikaido go to Japan to reflect on their life. It's fine.

 

[Voncaster]

Roadhouse 66 (1984)
You can still get your kicks on Route 66

I watched Roadhouse 66 on Cable. I intended to watch it for 5-10 minutes and then do something else, ended up watching the whole thing.

A young business man (Judge Reinhold) gets his Thunderbird car shot up by a local gang. The car works buts its radiator is broke. The young man picks up a hitchhiker (Willem Dafoe), who is a former local music legend, and helps him into a small Arizona town. In town, the two run into the gang again and two sisters (Karen Lee and Kate Vernon) who run an auto parts shop. They also learn that the Roadhouse 66 race is being run this weekend. The Roadhouse 66 race used to be a big deal, now only crazy people and the gang members run the race. The gang leader wins it year after year, because his gang leaders run interference for him.

Most of the movie is slowly paced, as the main four (businessmen, hitchhiker, and sisters) hang out finding car parts, going to bars, and falling in love. There are gang interactions here and there which adds some danger and drama to mostly relaxed vibe.

This part of the movie I enjoyed immensely: The four decide to run the Roadhouse 66 race and challenge the local gang. There is a long montage of them souping up the Thunderbird to get it race ready. Then the gang burns the Thunderbird in the garage at night. And they end up running the race in the sister's unmodified mustang. Hilariously anticlimactic!

I was also struck by the utter lack of CGI and how nice that is. When a railroad cars run by in the background, you know its a real railroad cars that happen to be there when they film. In the climatic Roadhouse 66 race, you know its real cars driving around.

Its a slow paced, but I found myself being sucked in by Roadhouse 66.

Rating: 1/2

 

[Paul le Fou]

I watched Men, which was moderately creepy and didn't make a whole ton of sense; not sure that its themes or arguments were particularly coherent. But it was beautifully shot and well-acted, at least.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Galaxy of Terror

The Secret Life of Pets

This is another extremely mid-tier cartoon from Illumination that also had the misfortune of having it's star cancelled so hard after the movie dropped. In fact he's so cancelled, he only won one more Grammy after we learned of his sex crimes. Obviously, shitty star is pretty bad. Outside of that, it's just a very generic animated movie with a very generic "four quadrant" attempt at humour and pretty simplistic storytelling. I guess my big issue in it's characters is it is unclear how aware these characters are of understanding the human world. Sometimes they don't understand where their humans go or don't understand basic human things and in another they know what Florida is or sea monkeys who are aware of the marketing for sea monkeys. I feel like they wanted to go for "pets don't understand why humans do stuff and have their own animal logic" but they can't let it get in the way of a tepid joke or reference.

Dumb Money

Dumb Money is a biopic I try to take with a grain of salt in regards to accuracy and Hollywoodizing with big triumph moments. It's not quite as over the top as Tetris (keeping in mind I love Tetris despite it's pretty dubious "real story" status) but it does have those "hey, this is important" moments that make it feel like, well, a movie. Which is fine. Just because something is adapted from reality doesn't mean it needs to be Dogma 95. I love the use of Seth Rogen in the movie because he's a character who comes across as slightly less unpleasant compared to other millionaires in way over his head. He's the "good guy" in his own story (of getting a new tennis court) and is completely oblivious as to why this is happening, completely unaware he's the problem.

All of the acting is great and again, while the characters are a bit broad, the acting sells it and I become invested in a world where online meming asshats calling themselves ableist names and praising Elon Musk as hero are making the world a better place in the most obnoxious way possible. It treats the online world as irritating but the people as the downtrodden who want to play a role in making things better. I don't think this is as strong as The Big Short but I think it is a very fun movie about one of the weirdest moments in American economic history.

 

[Kirin]

Holy shit, I had no idea they already made a movie about the crazy reddit kids buying GameStop stock. Didn't that, like, just happen? What was the turnaround time on this? And with names like Seth Rogen and Sebastian Stan even. My mind is boggled.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

The deal to make was made as it was happened and as the writer the book was based on began writing it (The Antisocial Network)

 

[Octopus Prime]

The Creator was a Frankenstein of a movie made out of the pieces I liked of a whole bunch of movies I genuinely love. So, like, on the aggregate, it’s a great movie. But they don’t fit together Anywhere near as well as they should.

Got an equal mix of Mandalorian, Terminator, Independence Day, Blade Runner, The Matrix (well, parts of The Animatrix at least), bit of Aliens, Chappie and just a bit of Escape from New York and, narratively it all fits together, but… nothing of it feels as good as it should.

A Very Special Waifish Orphan is distraught because her grizzled single father guardian is being squished to death by a cyber octopus and I’m just looking at the run time to see how much movie is left.

Movies visuals were on point, credit there. The entirely CG robots were giving a much more emotional performance than any of the people

 

[Johnny Unusual]

El Pico 2

Having watched both El Pico films, I was surprised to find I liked this one a bit more, at least for the middle act. When the film transitioned from conventional crime drama to prison drama, I found it more engaging. Paco's wastrel Spicolli-like friend was a more interesting character to me and I thought his relationship with Paco helped make Paco a more sympathetic character without removing the bad elements of the character.

Unfortunately, the final act of the film is sort of what I expected the film to be; more of the same of the last film but a bit louder. The final scene tries to bring things full circle but I feel like the interaction between father and son had more weight in the last film. I really like the first act is really feeding on all the fallout from the first film and then was bummed the last act was just "crimes, man" that I find neither exciting nor insightful.

 

[Paul le Fou]

I watched Fire and Ice, the Ralph Bakshi/Frank Frazetta animated movie. It was...not good. Definitely a relic from a different era, w/r/t the "subhumans" that populated the enemy army (Honestly they should've known better by the time this was made). Plot was stilted and cliche, characters had very little going on. Animation wasn't even that good. Why did I even watch this? I'm not sure.

 

[Rascally Badger]

Argylle is not nearly as clever as it thinks it is (I expect most people will be able to guess the various reveals before they occur), but it is still a largely enjoyable meta spy-comedy. It is weirdly committed to giving its very attractive stars the worst possible hair styles.

 

[Büge]

Why did I even watch this?

...boobs?

 

[Voncaster]

Scared to Death (1980)
If you're frightened by the unknown ... wait until you face reality!

A killer is on the lose in Los Angeles.

A seasoned detective is on the case but this case is over his head. He brings in his retired friend for one last case. His friend is a great detective who also brings along his new girlfriend, who he met by crashing into her car.

The trio, with help of a lab assistant, discover the killer is not a man but a monster: Syngenor (Synthesized Genetic Organism)! Sygenor looks like a well crafted low budget H.R. Giger creature.

Scared to Death is from William Malone, the director of Creature, which is a more direct sci-fi Alien knock off. Scared to Death is what would happen if an Alien was lose in present day (at the time of filming) Los Angeles.

I thought Scared to Death was pretty fun. I was worried at first because the film was very grainy in the opening scenes. There is a lot of grain in the film, but the shots get better for the most part after the opening scenes.

Rating: 1/2