Olli
(he/him)
Yeah, it's a sucker punch of a movie
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Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews
- Thread starter Rascally Badger
- Start date
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- movies
Paddington 2 is my friend's favorite movie, and I finally got around to watching it. It was cute and sweet and fun. I cried at the end. Would recommend if you're in the market for a family movie.
Phantoon
I cuss you bad
Yes, it's shockingly perfect.
Paddington is a very good family movie and 2 is a sequel that's even better. Wild accomplishments.
FelixSH
(He/Him)
Watched a bunch of 90s Disneys movies. Hercules was fine, Lion King leaves me with a lot of questions (I might write something about them another time). Beautiful movie, though, it looks amazing. From the once I watched, it had my favorite look, especially in the first part, with all the bright colors. Later ones, like Hercules and Mulan, seem more stylized - not worse, just less detailed, I think? They all look great, but I find Lion King sometimes incredibly beautiful.
Arielle is interesting. I have nice memories of it, but I realized that I remember next to nothing about the movie. Certainly nothing after she gets legs. Eric is made out of nothing, which makes the fact that he kills Ursula, instead of Arielle, all the more insulting. Seriously, that dude is as boring as he possibly can be. Also, has he no parents (or did I miss that?). Has Grim any authority? Why is he ok with Eric marrying a woman he met in the morning of the very day?
Ursula, of course, steals the show. Arielle is fun, Sebastian is too, but Ursula is SO GOOD. Her design alone is stellar, but she just has this big presence.
I don't think I actually watched this movie that often, I don't have any lines memorized, unlike other 90s Disney movies (except for the songs, of course). I probably have my memories from the tv show, which I watched quite a lot. I wonder if it is, because it's mainly a romance?
Also, maybe it's all the fish with cartoony eyes, but there are quite some scenes (mostly involving Sebastian), which feel more like a standalone cartoon short about cute fish doing stuff.
The highlight, though, was Mulan. That movie is super funny and all-around great. Well done themes, too. It's only weakness, I think, is the incredibly boring villain. Might be the weakest one of the 90s movies. I get it, he is just a wild beast, but Ursula, Djafar, Scar, even Gaston, all have so much more style and gravitas. He is just kinda scary.
Aside from that, it's obvious that the romance is just there, because it's a 90s Disney movie. It's completely irrelevant, everything (aside from the very last scene) would work out perfectly fine without there being any romantic feelings.
Arielle is interesting. I have nice memories of it, but I realized that I remember next to nothing about the movie. Certainly nothing after she gets legs. Eric is made out of nothing, which makes the fact that he kills Ursula, instead of Arielle, all the more insulting. Seriously, that dude is as boring as he possibly can be. Also, has he no parents (or did I miss that?). Has Grim any authority? Why is he ok with Eric marrying a woman he met in the morning of the very day?
Ursula, of course, steals the show. Arielle is fun, Sebastian is too, but Ursula is SO GOOD. Her design alone is stellar, but she just has this big presence.
I don't think I actually watched this movie that often, I don't have any lines memorized, unlike other 90s Disney movies (except for the songs, of course). I probably have my memories from the tv show, which I watched quite a lot. I wonder if it is, because it's mainly a romance?
Also, maybe it's all the fish with cartoony eyes, but there are quite some scenes (mostly involving Sebastian), which feel more like a standalone cartoon short about cute fish doing stuff.
The highlight, though, was Mulan. That movie is super funny and all-around great. Well done themes, too. It's only weakness, I think, is the incredibly boring villain. Might be the weakest one of the 90s movies. I get it, he is just a wild beast, but Ursula, Djafar, Scar, even Gaston, all have so much more style and gravitas. He is just kinda scary.
Aside from that, it's obvious that the romance is just there, because it's a 90s Disney movie. It's completely irrelevant, everything (aside from the very last scene) would work out perfectly fine without there being any romantic feelings.
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
1990: The Bronx Warriors For me this is a best remembered as the movie that spawned a sequel that appeared on MST3k ("Leave the Bronx!") It's an Italian rip-off of the Warrior except what if the title gang were so kick ass they didn't need to run. There's even hockey guys instead of baseball guys. I like a lot of the cosmetic stuff in the movie, the ridiculousness of some of the gangs but also that this is about the gang's internal world. But also it is dumb and the protagonist "Trash" has... very little going on. Fred Williamson is pretty great, though. Maybe the movie should have been about him.
Love, Simon: 6/10
I have absolutely no idea what to feel about this movie. It’s like a ferris wheel (if you know you know) of quality. Sometimes it goes high, making for some genuinely entertaining and touching moments. But other times, it feels like a generic sixth grade schlock.
The production is mediocre, neither bad nor good. The choice of retro-themed music is an odd one, but it works sometime. There are some incredible shots, but most of the time the cinematography and editing seem average.
This is the one movie in which I feel the child actors were better than the adult actors. They’re sometimes awkward, but they’re fit in extremely well with the role of awkward teenagers. Simon’s casting choice was great; I felt his actor doing a great job portraying a bottled up teen.
However, I have far worse things to say about the characters. Simon and Martin are the few bright spots in terms of characterization. The two funniest scenes in the movie are the national anthem interruption and the Blue fake-out. I also like how they both try to manipulate each others’ love lives, intentional or not. Abby sometimes gets time to shine, but overall they feel like wooden planks in terms of characterization. I think this drastic lack of character action is due to the obscene amount of time spent on the Blue mystery. I liked it at first, but there is absolutely no reason to have a triple fake-out when the identity of Blue is just the first guy. This leads to way too many things being spread out. When Bram got revealed as the true love, I felt nothing, because what did he have to show for it?? He was in the movie for 15 minutes. They even did a fake-out suicide, which was corny and stupid as all hell.
Perhaps if I were much younger, I would like this a lot more. Even if it doesn’t fall into the trap of sacrificing character development for romance (at least, it doesn’t fully), the second half is poorly paced. After Simon’s reveal, we have to go extremely slowly to all previous characters and try to work things out, Mega Man style. Despite all this criticism, however, I still think the movie is well worth watching if you need help figuring stuff out.
I have absolutely no idea what to feel about this movie. It’s like a ferris wheel (if you know you know) of quality. Sometimes it goes high, making for some genuinely entertaining and touching moments. But other times, it feels like a generic sixth grade schlock.
The production is mediocre, neither bad nor good. The choice of retro-themed music is an odd one, but it works sometime. There are some incredible shots, but most of the time the cinematography and editing seem average.
This is the one movie in which I feel the child actors were better than the adult actors. They’re sometimes awkward, but they’re fit in extremely well with the role of awkward teenagers. Simon’s casting choice was great; I felt his actor doing a great job portraying a bottled up teen.
However, I have far worse things to say about the characters. Simon and Martin are the few bright spots in terms of characterization. The two funniest scenes in the movie are the national anthem interruption and the Blue fake-out. I also like how they both try to manipulate each others’ love lives, intentional or not. Abby sometimes gets time to shine, but overall they feel like wooden planks in terms of characterization. I think this drastic lack of character action is due to the obscene amount of time spent on the Blue mystery. I liked it at first, but there is absolutely no reason to have a triple fake-out when the identity of Blue is just the first guy. This leads to way too many things being spread out. When Bram got revealed as the true love, I felt nothing, because what did he have to show for it?? He was in the movie for 15 minutes. They even did a fake-out suicide, which was corny and stupid as all hell.
Perhaps if I were much younger, I would like this a lot more. Even if it doesn’t fall into the trap of sacrificing character development for romance (at least, it doesn’t fully), the second half is poorly paced. After Simon’s reveal, we have to go extremely slowly to all previous characters and try to work things out, Mega Man style. Despite all this criticism, however, I still think the movie is well worth watching if you need help figuring stuff out.
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
I decided to watch all the Pixars and guess what. Toy Story is really really good still. Yes, the animation aged a bit roughly but the direction papers over a lot of that. And it is a well directed and well-written story (which is a shame because the director and one of the screenwriters both turned out to be creeps) and it isn't afraid to make Woody an asshole while still giving us enough to want him to win the day and be better.
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
Dungeons & Dragons, the not good one, is a not good movie. It's pretty bad. Thora Birch's acting is amazingly bad but on the plus side, Jeremy Irons is so unhinged that he's being THIS CLOSE to just being John Lithgow.
I will say also "Oh, hey, Doctor Who is in this movie." To be specific THE Doctor Who. The scarfman. It's a small role but he's trying. It was a nice little balm.
Weirdly the director didn't want to do the movie but was the producer and after being denied choices like Francis Ford Coppola by the TSR head vetoing them, he had to do it himself. Man, imagine seeing Dracula and not saying "let's let this guy make a D&D movie." That said, I understand saying that after seeing Jack...
I will say also "Oh, hey, Doctor Who is in this movie." To be specific THE Doctor Who. The scarfman. It's a small role but he's trying. It was a nice little balm.
Weirdly the director didn't want to do the movie but was the producer and after being denied choices like Francis Ford Coppola by the TSR head vetoing them, he had to do it himself. Man, imagine seeing Dracula and not saying "let's let this guy make a D&D movie." That said, I understand saying that after seeing Jack...
So I watched The Beach That Makes You Old, and it lives up to its reputation of being… well… really dumb. It is a dumb movie. And it’s the kind of dumb movie where it tries to get smart and that just makes it dumber when “Magic Beach That Makes You Old” is a perfectly adequate explanation on its own.
Also if it ended 20 minutes sooner it would have been a much better movie, but instead we get the twist ending that is… probably the dumbest twist ending of any of M. Nights movies.
Every single character is giving half their ass to deliver dialogue that was as clunky as all hell (you *will* know every characters name and occupation because they will bring it up unprompted, constantly).
There are a few parts that worked really well, I’ll grant you, and my father absolutely loved it so run, don’t walk, to your nearest Betflix and watch Old; the movie about a Beach You Probably Shouldn’t Visit
Also if it ended 20 minutes sooner it would have been a much better movie, but instead we get the twist ending that is… probably the dumbest twist ending of any of M. Nights movies.
Every single character is giving half their ass to deliver dialogue that was as clunky as all hell (you *will* know every characters name and occupation because they will bring it up unprompted, constantly).
There are a few parts that worked really well, I’ll grant you, and my father absolutely loved it so run, don’t walk, to your nearest Betflix and watch Old; the movie about a Beach You Probably Shouldn’t Visit
Purple
(She/Her)
In the original book, there's no drug company, or conspiracy to lure them all there, or scary old cave woman scene, and the only reason they can't leave is that, presumably for reasons of quarantining the area, when they try, people shoot at them. Instead the ending is just that, you know, eventually they need sleep, and everyone dies overnight except for the baby that the kids have, which is still a thing but on several levels its less creepy, who's just kinda confused having no concept of death or much of anything else and starts aimlessly making a sandcastle, having no conception of the fleeting nature of such things or her own existence and like, hence the title... and yeah in the movie the kids just kinda make a sand castle to kill time because that felt important to leave in but he didn't get why.
HOWEVER, the original book does NOT feature a character whose name is Midsize Sedan, so, you know, there's a pretty serious tradeoff there.
HOWEVER, the original book does NOT feature a character whose name is Midsize Sedan, so, you know, there's a pretty serious tradeoff there.
Tonight’s Horror Movie My Dad Insisted We Watch (there’s a list) was The Forever Purge, for context I’ve never seen any of the Purge movies but I know the premise.
I guess the lesson here is “Don’t do Purges”. Or, perhaps more accurately, don’t let Racists do purges.
I guess the lesson here is “Don’t do Purges”. Or, perhaps more accurately, don’t let Racists do purges.
In a world with racial inequality, Purges are inherently racist.
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
Fury is a very dumb movie for edgelord dads. I think there are movies that are good that can say "in war, even for a just cause, you may have to do evil." This is not one. This is a movie about a bunch of shitheads I hate and gives them a big heroic blaze of glory send off.
Talk To Me is a movie that I initially thought was going to be Evil Dead, except Australian.
And it is, however it’s also unbelievably slow paced and I was looking at my watch for, like, the whole dang run of it.
Last ten minutes or so are good
And it is, however it’s also unbelievably slow paced and I was looking at my watch for, like, the whole dang run of it.
Last ten minutes or so are good
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
Trolls
A frustratingly "on autopilot" script with some pretty facile takes on happiness and positivity, missing an opportunity to perhaps introduce kids to the more complicated nature of happiness. I know it's for a small kid demographic and I do think we can choose happiness but it really does feel like "Happy=good, grumpy=bad" which I am less cool with.
The voice cast was fine. The jokes were... OK on occasion but mostly dull. The dialogue feels like the script writer was using autocomplete. The musical numbers were full of some pretty dull choices. But I do want to say some positive things so I will say I think the animators aren't being lazy. There are some creative design choices (less so in the direction) that I do thing pings my enjoyment level of the film.
Having remembered that Kung Fu Panda was pretty good, I wanted to give more of a chance to DreamWorks animation but this kind of falls into my expectations; kind of dull overall with potential that it occasionally meets but mostly just rides on some very safe rails, leading to an ultimately mediocre film.
A frustratingly "on autopilot" script with some pretty facile takes on happiness and positivity, missing an opportunity to perhaps introduce kids to the more complicated nature of happiness. I know it's for a small kid demographic and I do think we can choose happiness but it really does feel like "Happy=good, grumpy=bad" which I am less cool with.
The voice cast was fine. The jokes were... OK on occasion but mostly dull. The dialogue feels like the script writer was using autocomplete. The musical numbers were full of some pretty dull choices. But I do want to say some positive things so I will say I think the animators aren't being lazy. There are some creative design choices (less so in the direction) that I do thing pings my enjoyment level of the film.
Having remembered that Kung Fu Panda was pretty good, I wanted to give more of a chance to DreamWorks animation but this kind of falls into my expectations; kind of dull overall with potential that it occasionally meets but mostly just rides on some very safe rails, leading to an ultimately mediocre film.
Final Destination 2 holds up! The CG was pretty dated, which made some of the deaths much more ridiculous than they already were, but it’s a good time.
The two scenes I most remember from when it originally was released remain just as firmly lodged in my memory
The two scenes I most remember from when it originally was released remain just as firmly lodged in my memory
Dare I ask what two scenes those were?
Purple
(She/Her)
The basic premise of "hey this one kid has this cursed artifact and we all take turns using it at parties" is great because yeah, that's totally a thing teenagers would do, and then ending is fun, but.. yeah. It totally drags between those points. Also wow that cold opening just shouldn't be there.
Close; Big Logs and Window Squisher
The cold open definitely grabbed my attention and made me think “Wow, Australian Evil Dead is going to be a non-stop roller coaster of a movie!”
turns out it was a full stop Roller Coaster that occasionally went sideways a l’il
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
El Pico
The sons of a conservative Civil Guard and a socialist politician become drug dealing junkies and eventually their fathers step in, learn about what they are up to and must decide what to do with that information.
This is one of those films that I think was probably more potent at the time. It certainly doesn't hold back but I feel like I've seen this sort of "the depravity of drug addiction" story many times over and for the most part, it doesn't hold a lot new for me. To say that it has the moral compass of an after school special would be extremely reductive but it does follow loosely the same path, albeit with more nudity and violence. I think what holds me back a bit is simply I have a hard time being invested emotionally in the leads, who kind of suck from the jump. Maybe that was a refreshing change of pace in it's era for the then popular "delinquent" films, but I feel like I was lacking on something to hold onto emotionally since intellectually I've been here before and stylistically, it was merely fine. But I really did enjoy the last scene a lot, which did grab me more than the rest of the film. That said, the choice of music for the last moment is bewildering. Am I supposed to read it as ironic or is the happy music inserted with genuine hope for the future. Considering there's a sequel, it would seem it's some unfounded hope...
The sons of a conservative Civil Guard and a socialist politician become drug dealing junkies and eventually their fathers step in, learn about what they are up to and must decide what to do with that information.
This is one of those films that I think was probably more potent at the time. It certainly doesn't hold back but I feel like I've seen this sort of "the depravity of drug addiction" story many times over and for the most part, it doesn't hold a lot new for me. To say that it has the moral compass of an after school special would be extremely reductive but it does follow loosely the same path, albeit with more nudity and violence. I think what holds me back a bit is simply I have a hard time being invested emotionally in the leads, who kind of suck from the jump. Maybe that was a refreshing change of pace in it's era for the then popular "delinquent" films, but I feel like I was lacking on something to hold onto emotionally since intellectually I've been here before and stylistically, it was merely fine. But I really did enjoy the last scene a lot, which did grab me more than the rest of the film. That said, the choice of music for the last moment is bewildering. Am I supposed to read it as ironic or is the happy music inserted with genuine hope for the future. Considering there's a sequel, it would seem it's some unfounded hope...
Smile was a bit of Babadook, and a bit of The Ring and maybe a little bit It Follows. And, it being a horror movie made in the last decade,the monster is a metaphor for trauma (this is explicitly stated as being the case within the movie)
it was pretty good, but it would have been much better if one hadn’t seen the movies it was built out of. My father is one such movie so he was riveted, while I am content to say “It’s a pretty good movie, if you want a movie about a monster who is powered by suicidal tendencies
it was pretty good, but it would have been much better if one hadn’t seen the movies it was built out of. My father is one such movie so he was riveted, while I am content to say “It’s a pretty good movie, if you want a movie about a monster who is powered by suicidal tendencies
FelixSH
(He/Him)
Beauty and the Beast is still a beautiful, great movie, but I'm not sure what to even make of Belle (what she wants, not of her brave and strong personality, that isn't in dispute).
She starts of, being bored of the simple life in that small town. And because she loves reading, I always assumed she would want to have a scholarly job, or maybe just become an autor herself. But no, I guess the movie tells us that she just craves a different, boring life. Instead of wasting away in a small town, where her strengths aren't valued, she wastes away in a castle (which has lost all its magic, after the curse is broken). How long, until she runs through the castle, with a book from the library, singing about how there must be more to this castle-y life? I guess they will have more visitors? During Be Our Guest, the servants sing about how they haven't had guests in ages, so they had some before the curse.
So no one of these earlier guests has come, seen what happened, and decided to be all Gaston, killing the Beast?
So, the movie is just arguing that she was bored, because she hadn't found the right guy? Or the castle was strange enough (and the library big enough), with her developing Stockholm Syndrom (together with maybe developing a crush for the first time), that the time with the beast seems magical an new to her. Hey, maybe it's not Stockholm Syndrom, but just her having her first crush.
I just find it unfortunate, how the movie starts by showing how Belle is ok, but not really fulfilled, with such a boring life. And then goes to just have her become a princess (or rather queen, I guess?). If the castle at least had an alchemy lab, or if the library was interersting, not just because "books", but because of specific content of those books. Like books about machines (considering how the castle stayed without contact to the outside world for ages - how does the beast get food? Do the servants need to eat? - having new books isn't likely).
I'm sure these thoughts aren't new, but watching these movies again makes me really question the world building. Doesn't matter much, these are still very enjoyable, well-made movies. But thinking about them a bit more closely raises questions.
She starts of, being bored of the simple life in that small town. And because she loves reading, I always assumed she would want to have a scholarly job, or maybe just become an autor herself. But no, I guess the movie tells us that she just craves a different, boring life. Instead of wasting away in a small town, where her strengths aren't valued, she wastes away in a castle (which has lost all its magic, after the curse is broken). How long, until she runs through the castle, with a book from the library, singing about how there must be more to this castle-y life? I guess they will have more visitors? During Be Our Guest, the servants sing about how they haven't had guests in ages, so they had some before the curse.
So no one of these earlier guests has come, seen what happened, and decided to be all Gaston, killing the Beast?
So, the movie is just arguing that she was bored, because she hadn't found the right guy? Or the castle was strange enough (and the library big enough), with her developing Stockholm Syndrom (together with maybe developing a crush for the first time), that the time with the beast seems magical an new to her. Hey, maybe it's not Stockholm Syndrom, but just her having her first crush.
I just find it unfortunate, how the movie starts by showing how Belle is ok, but not really fulfilled, with such a boring life. And then goes to just have her become a princess (or rather queen, I guess?). If the castle at least had an alchemy lab, or if the library was interersting, not just because "books", but because of specific content of those books. Like books about machines (considering how the castle stayed without contact to the outside world for ages - how does the beast get food? Do the servants need to eat? - having new books isn't likely).
I'm sure these thoughts aren't new, but watching these movies again makes me really question the world building. Doesn't matter much, these are still very enjoyable, well-made movies. But thinking about them a bit more closely raises questions.
Johnny Unusual
(He/Him)
The King's Daughter is a bad movie that decided completely accidentally (I think) to give romantic tension between the King and his daughter (more than the actual love interests). But more than that, it plunged me into a rabbit hole of learning there was a Baby Geniuses TV series featuring Jon Voight in upsetting ethnic stereotype disguises and I could barely pay attention to the rest of the movie. You know what, it's better to read more about it here.
1900hotdog.com
Alex Schmidt, Author at 1900HOTDOG - Page 16 of 20
Cursed artifacts from the wrong dimension every weekday.
1900hotdog.com
Not trying to say your necessarily wrong here, but it strikes me that she's now princess of a castle with a presumably huge estate that can now resume normal functioning with all curses lifted - there's no reason she has to stay stuck in her bedchambers or even the library. There's nothing keeping her and the prince from galavanting off on adventures like she's been reading about, and/or putting some book-learning to work on social and civic improvements for the local population that they presumably have some kind of now-benevolent dominion over.