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Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Zatoichi and the Fugitives

This one decided to give even the ancillary villains their own gimmick, so at least there's that. Oh, it's not a bad one and it feels like it is moving a little closer to Zatoichi the Outlaw while still mostly in tone with the other films... at least until the end when Zatoichi cuts off a dude's arm and ends up pretty bloodied in a way we usually don't see. In this one, Ichi ends up staying with a generous doctor while some fugitives are hiding out with a yakuza who also has a government position. The fugitives cut a deal and end up having to do a kill job for the yakuza and Ichi has to get involved. Also, it turns out the villain and the doctor have a shared past but I kind of tuned out for that one.
 

Adrenaline

Post Reader
(He/Him)
It's a good rule of thumb that most things won't appear on more than one major streaming site in a given territory.
 
If you told me Jungle Cruise was written with a screaming kindergartner nearby shouting "I'm bored!" every ten minutes, I would believe you. It starts with some basic Indiana Jones-esque action hijinks, but, before they even leave port (spoilers for anyone that does not want to be spoiled on general plot beats), the villain has acquired a submarine to fight a friggen dingy, and is launching torpedos all over the place. From there, we eventually introduce zombie conquistadors, and, because zombies are passé, they are quickly upgraded to zombie-elemental conquistadors, with at least one character that is my favorite villain trope: a sentient, collective mass of angry bees. The finale happens as it must (with the main hero literally dying and resurrecting like three times), and, if it had lasted any longer, I am pretty sure some dinosaurs would have arrived to cap things off. Four out of Five Stars.

Am I a bad person because this sounds awesome to me?
 

Mightyblue

aggro table, shmaggro table
(He/Him/His)
Yeah, I would've eaten that up as a kid and probably wouldn't mind sitting down and watching it now.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
It just sounds like a pure popcorn flick to me - and there's nothing wrong with that.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Kind of feel like Willys Wonderland would have been better served by being a short film, as Nic Cage pulverizing his way through an entire haunted Chuck E Cheese is great in small doses but it really started dragging when watched all at once.

Also; it’s Quiet Cage and not Manic Pixie Dream Cage that showed up for this movie, which is always a let down
 

gogglebob

The Goggles Do Nothing
(he/him)
Am I a bad person because this sounds awesome to me?

I was not kidding with the 4/5 stars. For a popcorn flick, it is very good at being a popcorn flick. I wouldn't stick around for a Jungle Cruise expanded cinematic universe, but it is a fun action movie that makes as little sense as possible.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Kind of feel like Willys Wonderland would have been better served by being a short film, as Nic Cage pulverizing his way through an entire haunted Chuck E Cheese is great in small doses but it really started dragging when watched all at once.

Also; it’s Quiet Cage and not Manic Pixie Dream Cage that showed up for this movie, which is always a let down
That does seem like the kind of movie that really needed the latter form of Cage. Do casting directors not specifically request that when adding him to the movie they're casting?
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Samaritan Zatoichi

This one doesn't even have a wikipedia page. I love the set up: Zatoichi kills a debt welcher for a yakuza, only to learn his sister JUST paid up. The sister didn't like her somewhat abusive brother much but while fate ends up throwing the two together, neither can forget Zatoichi's sin. I like starting the film with less moral ground for our hero than usual and his enemy this time has presence (the heavy, not the schemer) but it is a bit forgettable. I mean, more deserving a wikipedia page than some of the films, but...
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
That does seem like the kind of movie that really needed the latter form of Cage. Do casting directors not specifically request that when adding him to the movie they're casting?
Casting Nic Cage is basically getting a loot box; you get what you get
 
Didn't really know much about The Green Knight before watching it, but it's absolutely incredible. The best new film I've seen in some time. Looks amazing and just seems very carefully crafted on all fronts.
 
Watched Barry Lyndon in bits over the past few days. It felt like a movie that just kind of happens, without making any attempt to engage or connect emotionally, but was successful enough at that to make it an interesting watch. Moved from one event to another dryly like an old novel (which apparently it was). Usually I like watching this kind of slower dryer film in good company for talking over it and predicting/discussing on the fly, to help smooth out any lulls, but sadly that option wasn't available to me this time!
 

Gaer

chat.exe a cessé de fonctionner
Staff member
Moderator
Didn't really know much about The Green Knight before watching it, but it's absolutely incredible. The best new film I've seen in some time. Looks amazing and just seems very carefully crafted on all fronts.

I understand that Dev Patel is quite the looker, too.


I wanted to ask if anyone watched Gunpowder Milkshake? The premise is very Gaer, but the reviews said it was bad but they could just be mad it has the audacity to have women and I don’t want to subject myself as guinea pig.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Yangus did:
Gunpowder Milkshake was a serviceable John Wick-like from Netflix. It's a bit more cartoony (but still just as graphic), it has a good soundtrack, and all of the major characters are women -- Karen Gillan, Lena Headey, Michelle Yeoh, Angela Bassett, Carla Gugino, pretty good cast.
 

spines

behold my godlike
(she/her, or something)
Didn't really know much about The Green Knight before watching it, but it's absolutely incredible. The best new film I've seen in some time. Looks amazing and just seems very carefully crafted on all fronts.
was looking forward to it from the first pictures and trailers and it definitely delivered on what i wanted most, a satisfying and beautiful adaptation of an old folk tale with some nice surrealism landing somewhere between supernatural, symbolic, and psychological-and happily the movie's smart enough not to draw the lines between those much. there are some pretty serious changes to specific and often major aspects, as well as the integration of some stories and references which are indirectly related at best (though, in my opinion, are still included very appropriately) and the "moral" or whatever you might call it in particular feels modernized in a sense. but the theme more regards the concepts of myths, stories, and legends. and honor. which i think are spot on, and really help bring most of the elements i wouldn't necessarily be sold on easily as parts of a very direct adaptation of "sir gawain and the green knight" nicely into the work nonetheless. and there are parts of this i really like. (this is not a very specific spoiler but i'm doing it anyway) the film's aged king arthur speaks in a weighty, almost shakespearean style, while gawain's speech is casual and modern, and this contrast continues (if not to the same degree) with many other characters throughout the movie. the film presents him story-wise as a young and inexperienced man finding his place in the world, rather than the traditional consummate knight as well, so it's a really nice touch that plays up that sense.

but yes, it's quite enjoyable either way. the two people i was with hadn't read (any translation of) the poem, and i think they probably liked it even more than i did.
 

Rascally Badger

El Capitan de la outro espacio
(He/Him)
I understand that Dev Patel is quite the looker, too.


I wanted to ask if anyone watched Gunpowder Milkshake? The premise is very Gaer, but the reviews said it was bad but they could just be mad it has the audacity to have women and I don’t want to subject myself as guinea pig.

Its kind of style over substance, but there's quite a bit to like. I mean, there is plenty of style there.
 

Rascally Badger

El Capitan de la outro espacio
(He/Him)
The Suicide Squad is an immensely cynical movie, in a good way. It really gets Amanda Waller, which is that she is the worst villain in the Suicide Squad. Just a straight up amoral, ends justify the means monster of a person. There is no end to her, no greater principle that she follows. It totally embraces the idea that everyone of these characters are expendable. There is still heart to the movie, and that heart is thrown into greater focus with how its not precious about anything. You never know if something is going to a true, heartfelt emotional moment or a mean joke.

I think its really good and I'm not sure I like it at all.
 
T9: The Fast Saga is available to stream if you rent it. It is definitely a ridiculous and fun movie. I guess Dom & Family are just super powered super heroes now. I greatly enjoyed Roman coming close to sentience and knocking on the 4th wall. I also enjoyed the continuing escalation of ridiculous set pieces and stunts. The Tokyo Drift crew getting back together was wonderful. Justin Lin is a god. I think this was probably the best Fast movie in a while because there was no Dwayne Johnson to weigh it down. And of course: La Familia. 🥰

The Suicide Squad - enjoyed this a lot. It was very Suicide Squad. Also demented as hell. Definitely if you have an aversion to violence don't watch this movie.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Fright Night (the remake, not the original) was… y’know… fine. Isnt at all helped by the fact that the original is on the short list for being one of my favourite horror movies, but it’s a serviceable goofy late 2000s horror movie, for good or ill.

As expected, David Tennant steals the show (though far less than Roddy McDowell) and Colin Farrell was plainly have a lot of fun playing a vampire (might actually even give him the nod over Chris Sarandon), but nobody else stood out particularly.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
So the other night I started watching the original Superman movie because it was on a thing, and I fell asleep really early on not so much because it was boring as because my health is really scary bad right now, but before I did, I got to the part where they tease the villains from Superman 2 with this trial scene, and two things really jump out at me about that as super damn odd:

1- OK so like, when is this happening in relation to the whole bit with Jor-El realizing the whole planet is going to explode soon and making plans to put his baby in a space walnut? Because the way it's edited it feels like this is the same day, and they're really dragging it out with a lot of speeches and such. You'd figure he'd want to hurry things along so he has more time with his family before he dies. Or, you know, he'd totally blow off work that day, because what could possibly be less important than criminal sentencing when you know everyone's gonna die in a few hours? Also wait does Zod know everyone's gonna die? Is that what's up with the "hey why don't you hop into the Phantom Zone too?" bit? Because like... I understand it sucks but that actually doesn't seem like the worst emergency evacuation plan? Better than putting one naked baby in a space walnut with nothing but a gaudy blanket and some books on tape?

2- So there's sentencing for these 3 and the horrible crimes against Kryptanity they're all respnonsible for right? And like, indulge me here, I'm gonna straight up quote the script on these. Skipping around of course too so I can lead off with Zod. Zod is pretty straightforward:
Once trusted by this Council, charged with maintaining the defenses of the planet Krypton itself - the chief architect of this intended revolution, the author of this insidious plot to establish a new order among Us - with himself as absolute ruler.

OK, so he's getting P-zoned for being a supervillain and trying to take over the world. Pretty good reason. Next we got Non. And no I didn't know the other two's names either before checking the script.

On this mindless aberration whose only means of expression are wanton violence and destruction....

So like, he's Gamel from Kamen Rider OOO then? Just... a big dumb guy who likes to smash things? Feels like this is kind of a harsh sentence. You could just like... set him up in a demolition yard or something, let him get those urges out productively, but, I dunno, your whole planet seems to be made of radioactive brittle crystals and maybe not have a real atmosphere, so, I can see how this could be worse. Not gonna judge your ways as an outsider. But then we've got Ursa.

On the woman, URSA, whose perversions and unreasoning hatred of men have finally threatened even the male children on our planet....

So... she's gay. She is being sent to the phantom zone for the unforgivable crime of being a lesbian. And like, double checking against the sequel where we have the amazing exchange "you... can have whatever you like." "Some men. To kill." I guess we're "justifying" that by saying she's one of them real hardcore man-hatin' lesbians who says "kill all men" and really means it, but... I don't think that actually makes this any better.

Just thought I would share that with everyone. Oh and here's the scene.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo

Don't get too excited Kurosawa fans, this isn't THAT Yojimbo. Oh, its played by Toshiro Mifune and he is KILLING as a drunken sadsack samurai but this isn't the same character from the famous film. Still one of the better Zatoichi movies though, and one that does feel like it wants to take a few cues from the original while being its own thing. In this one, Ichi heads for his favourite town in search of piece of mind, only to find out it is overrun with yakuza just like EVERY OTHER PLACE THIS DUDE VISITS. Ichi ends up getting caught in a war between father in son and a hunt for gold and Mifune as a drunken samurai with a secret. There's warring mafia families, a villain who uses a gun but other than the cosmetic stuff, its just a solid Zatoichi tale with a pretty visually striking ending as people kill each other over a pile of gold dust as it is slowly blown away during a stormy day. Plus Mifune and Katsu bounce well off each other.

 

Paul le Fou

Pickle Bus Owns Tulip Town
(He)
Throwing my hat in for having loved The Green Knight. It's a very lyrical, poetic movie (read: slow, if you go in expecting any action or adventure), but I really enjoyed it. GORGEOUS cinematography, some really cool surrealism. I didn't strike me as particularly deep on my first watch, though.
 

Rascally Badger

El Capitan de la outro espacio
(He/Him)
I saw F9 this evening. Overall, it was enjoyable, but I'd put it down closer to Fate of the Furious than Fast 5, or even F&F 6. As much as I liked seeing Han again, I wish Han had been a bigger part of the movie, maybe at the expense of a few minutes of young Dom and Jakob flashbacks.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The Suicide Squad was largely as I expected- a genuinely good action movie that I enjoyed on its own merits (as opposed to the original which was a movie that I enjoyed for absolutely none of the reasons the creators intended). Felt like Gunn was tying in to a lot of the energy he brought to Guardians of the Galaxy, but with way more cusses and violence.

I wasn't surprised that the big dumb shark-man was my favorite character
I was more surprised that Ratcatcher 2 was my second favorite character

And I was kind of dissapointed that Starro was the final boss; not because I was disappointed to see Starro (that is an impossibility), but because he was shown in all the trailers and I was sure they wouldn't have spoiled the big villain like that and that Starro was a fakeout
 

Fredde

Let me rock you Chaugnar Faugn
So the other night I started watching the original Superman movie because it was on a thing, and I fell asleep really early on not so much because it was boring as because my health is really scary bad right now, but before I did, I got to the part where they tease the villains from Superman 2 with this trial scene, and two things really jump out at me about that as super damn odd:
It's possible that the intention was to depict Krypton as not actually being that great a place. Advanced technology, far less advanced morality. Similar to how John Byrne depicted Krypton in his Superman comic reboot (and, to some extent, in Alan Moore's "For The Man Who Has Everything").
 
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