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Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

BEAT

LOUDSKULL
(DUDE/BRO)
I remember watching this back in the day with someone who had OPINIONS on why Ghost Hunter TV shows were bad because they were mean to the ghosts.

It was a very validating experience for them.
 

BEAT

LOUDSKULL
(DUDE/BRO)
THEM: Ghost Hunters is BAD!
ME: I agree!
THEM: ...because trying to capture the ghosts on camera will only make the ghosts angry and make the haunting worse!
ME: Wait what.
THEM: The ghost hunter guys yell at the ghosts and that makes the ghosts feel bad!
ME: Uhhhh
THEM: Hey have you seen Paranormal Activity?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
I’d be reluctant to hack off a ghost that already burned down my home.

In comparison, yanking off bedsheets is kind of low key stuff.
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
I'd try to reach an arrangement with the ghost.

I'd set up some nice, breakable vases on a shelf, fasten the bedsheets tight under the mattress so it becomes a fun challenge to pull them loose, and buy really noisy door hinges and cabinet drawers, and just let them go wild on them while we went about our daily routines. In return, they get to protect the place from robbers and phone scammers.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The ghost didn’t really start getting rowdy until she moves in with her bad boyfriend either; so it plainly had her best interests at heart.
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
I'd try to reach an arrangement with the ghost.

I'd set up some nice, breakable vases on a shelf, fasten the bedsheets tight under the mattress so it becomes a fun challenge to pull them loose, and buy really noisy door hinges and cabinet drawers, and just let them go wild on them while we went about our daily routines. In return, they get to protect the place from robbers and phone scammers.
Don't encourage geists! You're just asking for trouble.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Zatoichi and the Doomed Man

Hey, this title actually isn't generic! Also, the Doomed Man seems like an afterthought. I'll say people say this is one of the weakest ones and I agree but there are good things. The last fight is OK and Zatoichi's partner for the story is a bit fun (I assume he was a popular Japanese comedian who wanted to be in a movie), a scoundrel who tries to steal Ichi's identity and gets in trouble for it. I think the film would have been a better movie if it leaned into the farce more or had an interesting villain. Instead, its yet another corrupt government official. Thematically, it works but practically it doesn't differential them from any of the other villains and usually they have a henchman who provides a physical threat to Ichi who also has some sort of connection to him. Instead, nada.
 
I've watched movies, including two box office bombs this weekend...

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions - fun for a bit then wretched. Has established that maybe nothing happened in this one but ends with a nasty downer ending. Not what I wanted!

Old - pretty stupid? It's a cool idea that is well-established in the trailer and takes everyone waaaaay too long to figure out. Also the explanation for why these people have been put in this situation does not hold up! Almost would've been better if it were an accident and there were no way out. (the way out? silly, comes out of nowhere) Sorry to be churlish... glad I watched it nonetheless. It's cool to see people react to the basic problem, when they eventually do...

Snake Eyes - wanted everyone to kiss whenever two characters spoke on screen. Good film. Well, fine. Saw this in an empty theater on a Saturday morning. Not happy about any of this. I wish the best for all these hot actors. Not familiar with G.I. Joe.

Clockwatchers - really loved this. Sometimes you can just watch a nice movie!!!!

The Wicker Man - original. Had never seen before. Quite good, obviously! Knew about the ending, but kind of wasn't expecting the square Christian police officer to land some good points about how this isn't going to last. Good for him! I'm fine with any ending on a case by case basis but I am a little annoyed by cults being just too competent and secure in movies.

Journey to the Beginning of Time - what I like to see... stop motion dinosaurs. Dinosaur puppets. Beautiful matte paintings. The same mountains; lit differently. Just a great looking film.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
Old - pretty stupid? It's a cool idea that is well-established in the trailer and takes everyone waaaaay too long to figure out. Also the explanation for why these people have been put in this situation does not hold up! Almost would've been better if it were an accident and there were no way out. (the way out? silly, comes out of nowhere) Sorry to be churlish... glad I watched it nonetheless. It's cool to see people react to the basic problem, when they eventually do...
The original... graphic novel, apparently, was called "Sandcastles" which in addition to just being a better title all around doesn't make it painfully obvious what's up from the get-go. And when you're legitimately going to spend the first what? 45 minutes or so acting like some big mystery is afoot that might be something other than hyper-aging, it kinda feels like you shouldn't spoil that with the damn title.

Also you should maybe consider, like, applying old-age makeup to your actors as things go on. Maybe, I dunno, have scenes where people are in fear of aging, or like, finding themselves more prone to injury, or like... have negative reactions to people dying that aren't wondering if there's perhaps a murderer afoot. Especially close family members.

On the positive side, this DID break me free of my senseless notion that perhaps Shyamalan can still direct really well if handed a straightforward script from someone else. And also I can't totally knock a movie that names a character Midsize Sedan. Unless I dock it those positive WTF points for having a 6 year old knock up another 6 year old. That's just gross, movie. You could totally have just not gone there.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
I've had time to try to catch up on the Zatoichi series.

Zatoichi and the Chess Master is a step in the right direction again. The title Chess Master is both a villain and ally to the title character, an amoral killer who is willing to help Ichi because he likes him and thinks he's a worthy shogi opponent but is willing to turn against him if the circumstances are right. The stuff with that character is the strongest stuff, as well as the fact that it is largely about Ichi dealing with the guilt of an innocent caught in the middle of one of his battles.

Zatoichi's Vengeance
, despite the title, is really a film about Ichi trying to do the right thing but being approached by a blind biwa player who notes that Ichi's good intentions are also violent and may have a negative affect on a boy in town. But Ichi also finds inaction is equally poisonous and finds himself having a moral quandry. Ends with a great finale in which the villains cleverly try to "blind" Ichi with Taiko drums on a bridge.

Zatoichi's Pilgrimage (also called Zatoichi's Ocean Voyage, which is misleading) This is probably my favourite in a while with two quality piece of shit villains, one a brutish bandit and the other an appeasing town leader just waiting for either Ichi to kill him or vice versa so he can keep his hands clean. The story is pretty much a retelling of High Noon with Ichi and it works. A little romantically hokey at times but despite the fact that we've seen Ichi dispatch armies of baddies before, it really sells the idea that Ichi might really need help to survive this time.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
Gunpowder Milkshake was a serviceable John Wick-like from Netflix. It's a bit more cartoony (but still just as graphic), it has a good soundtrack, and all of the major characters are women -- Karen Gillan, Lena Headey, Michelle Yeoh, Angela Bassett, Carla Gugino, pretty good cast.
 
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Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Watched Luca on the weekend. Its kind of mid-tier Pixar but even that can be very, very enjoyable and this film is. I really liked the whole thing and feel like it could be a fun revisit. If it shows up in theatres when restrictions are lifted in my province, this is definitely the one I want to take my niece to for her first movie. Especially if the other choices are Boss Baby 2 and *shudder* Paw Patrol.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
I kind of feel like you’re going to already know what your final thoughts on Snake Eyes: G I Joe Origins before you watch it, based on your reactions to the title. But I gotta say, it was better than I was expecting; this here is a genuinely good action movie!

The GI Joe connections were pretty slight, if you’re going in expecting lots of that (Scarlet and Baroness barely amount to more than cameos and are basically used like Samuel L Jackson), and honestly kind of pulled me out of the movie a bit. But everything else had its hooks in me but good. Movie wound up giving Storm Shadow a way better character arc Than he ever had before.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Zaotichi's Cane Sword

Usually the Criterion Channel tries to ad some details why this particular Zatoichi is worth noting but they come up short. Still, It's a pretty decent entry. Ichi learns his sword is on the urge of breaking when he encounters the apprenctice of the originator of his original sword. Ichi uses it as an opportunity to leave his life of violence in town and becomes a masseur at the local inn... which is beset by yakuza and corrupt officials. There's a fun reveal at the end but overall its more noted for "Ichi gets a new sword" at the end, even if it is fundamentally the same as his old one.
 
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