Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

[gogglebob]

If you told me Jungle Cruise was written with a screaming kindergartner nearby shouting "I'm bored!" every ten minutes, I would believe you. It starts with some basic Indiana Jones-esque action hijinks, but, before they even leave port (spoilers for anyone that does not want to be spoiled on general plot beats), the villain has acquired a submarine to fight a friggen dingy, and is launching torpedos all over the place. From there, we eventually introduce zombie conquistadors, and, because zombies are passé, they are quickly upgraded to zombie-elemental conquistadors, with at least one character that is my favorite villain trope: a sentient, collective mass of angry bees. The finale happens as it must (with the main hero literally dying and resurrecting like three times), and, if it had lasted any longer, I am pretty sure some dinosaurs would have arrived to cap things off. Four out of Five Stars.

 

[Exposition Owl]

If you told me Jungle Cruise was written with a screaming kindergartner nearby shouting "I'm bored!" every ten minutes, I would believe you.

In all seriousness, I suspect that Disney executives are telling screenwriters and directors to assume pretty much exactly that.

 

[Kirin]

Oh yes, Face the Music was genuinely Excellent.

Dangit, why is this still only on Hulu and not even available to buy on platforms I actually use? I guess if I end up subbing Paramount+ for a month for more Picard it's on there...
Oh wait, can I just buy AppleTV things via a smart TV app with my Apple login? I've never tried that before, but apparently you can buy it from there too.

Also watched the 1960s Dr Dolittle in two parts over the past couple of days. I watched this an obscene amount of times as a very young child, since we'd recorded it from TV on a VHS tape. As such I had strong, mostly visual memories of a few scenes, and fragments of a couple of the tunes stuck as occasional ear-worms. I'd always heard it had reviewed terribly despite a successful stage production, so was curious to see just how bad it was. In general it was fine, a bit overlong and meandering without much point to it or even much in the way of a climax. Mildly amusing, at least. There were too many songs that didn't really stand out at all, with only a couple of memorable tunes, and the main character talking his songs rather than singing was a let-down.

Hah, yeah, I saw this a lot as a kid too on account of my mom liked Rex Harrison and his comedies can entertain kids as well. But like all Rex Harrison musicals, it comes with the caveat that Rex Harrison Doesn't Sing, Actually.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Isn't Face the Music on Netflix?

It is in Canada!

 

[Kirin]

Not according to Google! I can double check next time I'm on my TV, but this sounds like one of the rare cases where Canadians win a streaming.

 

[Droewyn]

Yeah, doesn't look like USflix has any of the Bill 'n' Ted films at present.

 

[Adrenaline]

It's on Hulu.

 

[Kirin]

It's on Hulu.

Dangit, why is this still only on Hulu.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Zatoichi and the Fugitives

This one decided to give even the ancillary villains their own gimmick, so at least there's that. Oh, it's not a bad one and it feels like it is moving a little closer to Zatoichi the Outlaw while still mostly in tone with the other films... at least until the end when Zatoichi cuts off a dude's arm and ends up pretty bloodied in a way we usually don't see. In this one, Ichi ends up staying with a generous doctor while some fugitives are hiding out with a yakuza who also has a government position. The fugitives cut a deal and end up having to do a kill job for the yakuza and Ichi has to get involved. Also, it turns out the villain and the doctor have a shared past but I kind of tuned out for that one.

 

[Adrenaline]

It's a good rule of thumb that most things won't appear on more than one major streaming site in a given territory.

 

[Violentvixen]

If you told me Jungle Cruise was written with a screaming kindergartner nearby shouting "I'm bored!" every ten minutes, I would believe you. It starts with some basic Indiana Jones-esque action hijinks, but, before they even leave port (spoilers for anyone that does not want to be spoiled on general plot beats), the villain has acquired a submarine to fight a friggen dingy, and is launching torpedos all over the place. From there, we eventually introduce zombie conquistadors, and, because zombies are passé, they are quickly upgraded to zombie-elemental conquistadors, with at least one character that is my favorite villain trope: a sentient, collective mass of angry bees. The finale happens as it must (with the main hero literally dying and resurrecting like three times), and, if it had lasted any longer, I am pretty sure some dinosaurs would have arrived to cap things off. Four out of Five Stars.

Am I a bad person because this sounds awesome to me?

 

[lincolnic]

Am I a bad person because this sounds awesome to me?

Why would that make you a bad person? It absolutely sounds awesome to me too. Unless we're both bad people, in which case oh nooooo

 

[Mightyblue]

Yeah, I would've eaten that up as a kid and probably wouldn't mind sitting down and watching it now.

 

[Torzelbaum]

It just sounds like a pure popcorn flick to me - and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[Octopus Prime]

You’ve definitely done more to make me want to watch it than Disney has

 

[Octopus Prime]

Kind of feel like Willys Wonderland would have been better served by being a short film, as Nic Cage pulverizing his way through an entire haunted Chuck E Cheese is great in small doses but it really started dragging when watched all at once.

Also; it’s Quiet Cage and not Manic Pixie Dream Cage that showed up for this movie, which is always a let down

 

[gogglebob]

Am I a bad person because this sounds awesome to me?

I was not kidding with the 4/5 stars. For a popcorn flick, it is very good at being a popcorn flick. I wouldn't stick around for a Jungle Cruise expanded cinematic universe, but it is a fun action movie that makes as little sense as possible.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Kind of feel like Willys Wonderland would have been better served by being a short film, as Nic Cage pulverizing his way through an entire haunted Chuck E Cheese is great in small doses but it really started dragging when watched all at once.

Also; it’s Quiet Cage and not Manic Pixie Dream Cage that showed up for this movie, which is always a let down

That does seem like the kind of movie that really needed the latter form of Cage. Do casting directors not specifically request that when adding him to the movie they're casting?

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Samaritan Zatoichi

This one doesn't even have a wikipedia page. I love the set up: Zatoichi kills a debt welcher for a yakuza, only to learn his sister JUST paid up. The sister didn't like her somewhat abusive brother much but while fate ends up throwing the two together, neither can forget Zatoichi's sin. I like starting the film with less moral ground for our hero than usual and his enemy this time has presence (the heavy, not the schemer) but it is a bit forgettable. I mean, more deserving a wikipedia page than some of the films, but...

 

[Octopus Prime]

That does seem like the kind of movie that really needed the latter form of Cage. Do casting directors not specifically request that when adding him to the movie they're casting?

Casting Nic Cage is basically getting a loot box; you get what you get

 

[Neo Skimbleshanks]

Didn't really know much about The Green Knight before watching it, but it's absolutely incredible. The best new film I've seen in some time. Looks amazing and just seems very carefully crafted on all fronts.

 

[Pombar]

Watched Barry Lyndon in bits over the past few days. It felt like a movie that just kind of happens, without making any attempt to engage or connect emotionally, but was successful enough at that to make it an interesting watch. Moved from one event to another dryly like an old novel (which apparently it was). Usually I like watching this kind of slower dryer film in good company for talking over it and predicting/discussing on the fly, to help smooth out any lulls, but sadly that option wasn't available to me this time!

 

[Gaer]

Didn't really know much about The Green Knight before watching it, but it's absolutely incredible. The best new film I've seen in some time. Looks amazing and just seems very carefully crafted on all fronts.

I understand that Dev Patel is quite the looker, too.


I wanted to ask if anyone watched Gunpowder Milkshake? The premise is very Gaer, but the reviews said it was bad but they could just be mad it has the audacity to have women and I don’t want to subject myself as guinea pig.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Yangus did:

Gunpowder Milkshake was a serviceable John Wick-like from Netflix. It's a bit more cartoony (but still just as graphic), it has a good soundtrack, and all of the major characters are women -- Karen Gillan, Lena Headey, Michelle Yeoh, Angela Bassett, Carla Gugino, pretty good cast.

 

[spines]

Didn't really know much about The Green Knight before watching it, but it's absolutely incredible. The best new film I've seen in some time. Looks amazing and just seems very carefully crafted on all fronts.

was looking forward to it from the first pictures and trailers and it definitely delivered on what i wanted most, a satisfying and beautiful adaptation of an old folk tale with some nice surrealism landing somewhere between supernatural, symbolic, and psychological-and happily the movie's smart enough not to draw the lines between those much. there are some pretty serious changes to specific and often major aspects, as well as the integration of some stories and references which are indirectly related at best (though, in my opinion, are still included very appropriately) and the "moral" or whatever you might call it in particular feels modernized in a sense. but the theme more regards the concepts of myths, stories, and legends. and honor. which i think are spot on, and really help bring most of the elements i wouldn't necessarily be sold on easily as parts of a very direct adaptation of "sir gawain and the green knight" nicely into the work nonetheless. and there are parts of this i really like. (this is not a very specific spoiler but i'm doing it anyway) the film's aged king arthur speaks in a weighty, almost shakespearean style, while gawain's speech is casual and modern, and this contrast continues (if not to the same degree) with many other characters throughout the movie. the film presents him story-wise as a young and inexperienced man finding his place in the world, rather than the traditional consummate knight as well, so it's a really nice touch that plays up that sense.

but yes, it's quite enjoyable either way. the two people i was with hadn't read (any translation of) the poem, and i think they probably liked it even more than i did.

 

[Rascally Badger]

I understand that Dev Patel is quite the looker, too.


I wanted to ask if anyone watched Gunpowder Milkshake? The premise is very Gaer, but the reviews said it was bad but they could just be mad it has the audacity to have women and I don’t want to subject myself as guinea pig.

Its kind of style over substance, but there's quite a bit to like. I mean, there is plenty of style there.

 

[Little Sampson]

Pig is fantastic

 

[Rascally Badger]

The Suicide Squad is an immensely cynical movie, in a good way. It really gets Amanda Waller, which is that she is the worst villain in the Suicide Squad. Just a straight up amoral, ends justify the means monster of a person. There is no end to her, no greater principle that she follows. It totally embraces the idea that everyone of these characters are expendable. There is still heart to the movie, and that heart is thrown into greater focus with how its not precious about anything. You never know if something is going to a true, heartfelt emotional moment or a mean joke.

I think its really good and I'm not sure I like it at all.

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

T9: The Fast Saga is available to stream if you rent it. It is definitely a ridiculous and fun movie. I guess Dom & Family are just super powered super heroes now. I greatly enjoyed Roman coming close to sentience and knocking on the 4th wall. I also enjoyed the continuing escalation of ridiculous set pieces and stunts. The Tokyo Drift crew getting back together was wonderful. Justin Lin is a god. I think this was probably the best Fast movie in a while because there was no Dwayne Johnson to weigh it down. And of course: La Familia.

The Suicide Squad - enjoyed this a lot. It was very Suicide Squad. Also demented as hell. Definitely if you have an aversion to violence don't watch this movie.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Fright Night (the remake, not the original) was… y’know… fine. Isnt at all helped by the fact that the original is on the short list for being one of my favourite horror movies, but it’s a serviceable goofy late 2000s horror movie, for good or ill.

As expected, David Tennant steals the show (though far less than Roddy McDowell) and Colin Farrell was plainly have a lot of fun playing a vampire (might actually even give him the nod over Chris Sarandon), but nobody else stood out particularly.