Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?

[Torzelbaum]

No. NO! TOO MUCH REGARFING!

Garfgarfield

 

[Becksworth]

Being John  Malkovich Arbuckle

 

[Purple]

This that Starfield I keep hearing about?

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

This that Starfield I keep hearing about?

Yes.

 

[Exposition Owl]

Also, as hilarious as regarfing is, I don't want the word salad of the second sentence to go unacknowledged. "You need to beg yourself for even the ability to issue [an apology]" is some first-class, "what does that even mean"-level nonsense.

 

[Issun]

Also, as hilarious as regarfing is, I don't want the word salad of the second sentence to go unacknowledged. "You need to beg yourself for even the ability to issue [an apology]" is some first-class, "what does that even mean"-level nonsense.

Beg yourself or Garf

 

[muteKi]

Also, as hilarious as regarfing is, I don't want the word salad of the second sentence to go unacknowledged. "You need to beg yourself for even the ability to issue [an apology]" is some first-class, "what does that even mean"-level nonsense.

Like as funny as it is to me that a stonk ape can't spell "regarding" correctly, for reasons that are decidedly off-color, this is indeed the reason I felt compelled to post it. Every time, these guys have their smugness get in the way of actually being coherent, and it's always beautiful to witness. It's like watching a nature preserve for the internet of a decade ago, back when we were finally starting to get people using the internet semi-professionally who held political opinions like "we should listen to women sometimes, actually"

Obviously what we have now is better, but it's good to know that there are still corners of the internet where we can witness its users are unwittingly writing scripts for future It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes in real time

 

[Becksworth]

Me trying to understand how Twitch will allow Artistic Nudity but not someone gambling their own money

Why won't Twitch enable my gambling addiction?

 

[muteKi]

I have no problem putting my pants down and see who is a bigger man . You don’t know who the fuck u dealing with I will show up at ur house and see who afraid to put their pants down . Like I always say put ur money where ur mouth is . And if u have nothing to offer than no point . Actions speak

 

[q 3]

Now my biggest complaint with this movie is also what I disliked about Spirited Away. Nothing is explained. Heron and Spirited are both set in fictional magical worlds which are completely fine to be unrealistic. However, you have to explain all the mechanics of the world with internal consistency for the audience to be invested in the story. The lore, power/magic system, all the characters and how they scale against each other, all the different animal kingdoms, how they interact, all the mechanics, limits and rules of the world should be explained.

 

[muteKi]

I believe this could be solved for all movies as long as we make sure that the upper level of whatever theater a movie is showing in has a pair of comedic hecklers, possibly of retirement age, wearing DBZ scouters and making jeers related to whatever they observe the power level of any given character in a movie to be.

For example:

"Oh wow, his power level? Is over 9000!"
"What, 9000?"
"Oh, silly me, my failing eyes almost missed the decimal point. His power level is 9.000!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO"

 

[muteKi]

You can't argue with the data. Whats your bear thesis? You forgot to put on your big boy panties before entering a big boy trade? If warren buffet didn't have patience you wouldn't know his name.
PS: I've left three cults in my lifetime and this ain't one of em. And it's rude to call it one to anyone whose ever had to actually leave one

 

[Becksworth]

I'm sorry, but if you got into 3 abusive marriages I'm going assume any future fiance is abusive by default.

 

[muteKi]

Putting MLK in [this compilation video] seems in bad taste

The man who Stood Up for Economic Injustice?

What do you think GameStop stands for?

Can't stop. Won't stop. GameStop!

 

[muteKi]

And now for a moment of levity and fun: I found Kikuri Hiroi's reddit account

Depending on the orchestration, The bass is usually gonna take care of root, and maybe even 5th,
In most latin based jazz, the bass is literally just gonna be going between 1 and 5 the whole time with some extra steps maybe here and there
Same for ballads, but with more walking lines to fill the space,
and then any medium or up tempo stuff the bass is gonna walk all day baby so yeah there's no need for those low ass notes on a piano when you got a big ass violin to take care of that shit.
And dont you worry about runnin out of notes boy, there are 88 keys on a piano and we're just tryin clean the mix up a bit. Ain't you herd of extanshins? you know
9, 11... #11, maybe even like aaaaaa 13? and tere's always #9! cant forget good old #9.
b9 is well... it always gets a little sad after one of those.
Otherwise, just fire the bassist, get a Pianist who can hit dem low sub exploders and split the extra cash on some good herb and go funk some batches after ur set
KEEP IT SWINGIN SON

 

[muteKi]

It's always nice to see some of these that are fun rather than the product of a would-be supervillian

fun fact goat breast milk is the sweetest because It's 70% sugar and 30% protein so a pregnant goat GF would have the sweetest breast milk you all could sell as premium goat girl breast milk it'd sell like crazy

Why do you know this

I watch a video based on breast milk for Lore for alien building races how would an alien breast milk taste. OX breast milk is 90% protein and is a sludge.human breast milk mostly tastes like salt 50% sugar 50 protein

wait, why is milk flavor important in your lore haha

breast if your alien pregnant and breast feeds wouldn't you wanna know the taste of its milk?

I mean, I can't argue with that logic

 

[muteKi]

Incest loving pro shippers are stronger than the lesbophobic bisexual community I gotta give them that

 

[RT-55J]

your ability to find these kinds of posts is kinda worrisome ngl. sometimes i fear for your sanity

 

[Becksworth]

Social media website theabyss.gaze

 

[muteKi]

I would say something about my hubris detectors being too sensitive, but these days hubris is so cheap that people pay $8 monthly to get it recognized by the crowd

 

[muteKi]

So you want 12 year old girls deemed not likely to be able to breed to be ripped from their homes, and suffer an excruciating geneforging and surgical process, and be forced through male puberty, so you can have your muscle mommy?

Fuck you.

Look, folks, on this one? I'm just as stumped as any of you

 

[Becksworth]

Are they mad about transgender students or people wanting female space marines in 40k?

 

[RT-55J]

Wait. Geneforging? As in the cult classic CRPG series Geneforge by Spiderweb Software?

I feel even more confused now.

 

[muteKi]

Are they mad about transgender students or people wanting female space marines in 40k?

My guess is both somehow

 

[q 3]

To add onto the last post, yes a lot of the names used in the dub are (technically) incorrect.

Vegito should be Vegetto, Buu should be Boo, Kakarot should be Kakarotto, Bulla should be Bra, you get it.

I do not speak/understand Japanese so you'd be better asking someone that does.

But I'd guess it would be star considering how strong Freeza is at this point.

You do realize that these have all been common talking points in the community for years now, right? I don’t need to speak Japanese to point them out because people that DO SPEAK JAPANESE ALREADY HAVE

 

[muteKi]

I walked by a Century 21 (young women's clothing), the mannequins were tall and anorexic...woke culture is ded.

 

[Becksworth]

Prop up an imaginary Bugbear.
Claim lack of evidence of its existence is in actuality evidence of its defeat.
Get that sweet sweet social media engagement.

 

[muteKi]

I would normally assume a post like that one is obviously a joke ('century 21' being the tell that the speaker is unserious), but the person in question had paid for twitter, and so I think they're just actually that dumb

 

[karzac]

It is with a heavy heart I announce the sale of my long term ape, Salazar. Most of my early followers know me as this ape. My kids know me as this ape. I met my wife when I WAS this ape and had my first kid when I was still proudly wore this ape. By extension, it is part of me.

I travelled around the world with this ape in my pocket. We went to the most luxurious hotels, the craziest night clubs and the most serene beaches. We had it all.

Unfortunately, what blur is doing to apes is frankly unacceptable. Since the creation of Blur, the ape floor price has tumbled from 85e down to 12e. Two weeks ago myself and around 15 other high ranking ape members gathered at the recent International Ape Workshop in Miami, and on behalf of the community we wrote and delivered a notarised letter begging Pacman to stop this nonsense at once. We outlined three key terms the apes were demanding of Pacman:

1.) Effective immediately, blur should be shut down and all NFT collections affected should be refunded a part of their floor price at the time blur was created
2.) A written apology to @yugalabs and the community
3.) Sell all remilia assets held by ANY members of the blur team and publicly denounce @CharlotteFang77

As of today, March 28, 2024, Pacman has refused to acknowledge our letter. I have no choice but to sell my ape and retrieve some form of financial value before it trends to zero. Thankyou to everyone in the ape family who has been sending me messages over these last few days. I love you all. I hope one day we meet on the other side, until then, goodbye.
https://twitter.com/vydamo_/status/1773491625957924883/photo/1

 

[lincolnic]

International Ape Workshop

Oh, so that's the collective noun for 16 suckers.