Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?

[muteKi]

I don't care how many people enjoy it, fiction in the present tense is an ABDICATION OF NARRATIVE RESPONSIBILITY. I resent having to re-calibrate my entire attitude to time whenever I open a novel in the present tense. Away with them!

 

[Becksworth]

Dr. Manhattan is real and he a shitty internet critic.

 

[Ludendorkk]

Never Tumblr

 

[muteKi]

I have an interest in the macabre. Gore videos. Industrial accidents etc. horrible mystery illnesses (like those ones that get tumours all over the body). Car crashes. Etc etc. I always wanted a penis. Not like that though. Some look good, others not so much.

 

[RT-55J]

okay. you finally got me stumped

 

[Octopus Prime]

I think it's the guy from Crash

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I cannot solve this riddle.

 

[Becksworth]

Eh, sounds like some goth girls I played Vampire the Masquerade with back when I was 19.

 

[ThornGhost]

Food Truck and Cat definitely sounds like a cute slice of life manga about a lesbian couple that runs a food truck and takes in a stray cat.
They have to hide it from the health inspectors while they travel around the city selling their own special gluten free hibachi. The cat gets into shenanigans.
The manga artist is eventually doxxed by an online contingent of right wing trolls because the manga becomes incredibly popular and features no men characters whatsoever.
She opens a GoFundMe looking to raise 10,000 dollars to move to Toronto to start life anew.
The campaign has a lot of traction early on, but when it is revealed the artist is bisexual, not a lesbian, and married to a man, online support dries up completely, topping out at 12,000 dollars.
Meeting the goal, but barely, the artist disappears from the internet, shutting down all of her social media profiles.
Food Truck and Cat stalls, and no one has a clear answer when or if the next issue will come out.
~fin
Thank you for reading my 2022 internet comic artist fanfiction.

 

[muteKi]

So its homophobia to think gay men should not cheat on their wives?

 

[RT-55J]

that's a hall of famer right there

 

[gogglebob]

Share the whole thing! It somehow escalates!

 

[RT-55J]

oh no

 

[muteKi]

So its homophobia to think gay men should not cheat on their wives? so what else can gay men get away with. Are you going to defend Jeffrey Dahmer next?

 

[q 3]

Do you know the American manga "Garfield"? Garfield's best friend's dog's name is Odie, and I made Odie gigantic and named him "Odio" as the final boss.

 

[Lokii]

lol beautiful

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

I want to see Odio.

 

[muteKi]

Odd that we accept that children can pick up on the fact that parents are having marital concerns or financial concerns and that this causes kids issues, but we pretend that kids can’t pick up when they themselves are the issue causing concern.

 

[Becksworth]

Am I missing the absurd part? Based on your usually posts here I'd imagine that being a perfectly cromulent response to an absurd post about kids not understanding if and when they are experiencing dysphoria with their socially assigned gender role.

Unless you're throwing a curveball on us and that's about putting a kid up for adoption or something...

 

[muteKi]

I'd imagine that being a perfectly cromulent response to an absurd post about kids not understanding if and when they are experiencing dysphoria with their socially assigned gender role.

This is what it sounds like absent wider context, but it's specifically about divorcing an abusive, transphobic parent

So, uh, yeah

 

[Bongo]

I assumed it was further corncobbing from the "don't high-five your kids" guy.

 

[Becksworth]

Boycott Bayonetta 3

Now this on its own isn't an absurd post given the events of this week. What makes it absurd is I found it in a discussion promoting FUCKING STELLAR BLADE.

 

[q 3]

I was enjoying the episode and was surprised how it started and Purin being reintroduced to the group so soon, I thought we wouldn't get development from her till at least the 6th episode possibly the 8th but I was happy!
Then they had to FUCKING RUIN IT with my least favorite trope, when Jobko just broke into her house, invited herself in, hacked and took over her stuff! I'm sorry NO FUCKING NO! THAT IS NOT OKAY! THAT IS NOT FUNNY! THAT IS NOT CUTE! THAT IS NOT CHARMING!!!
I'm sorry if it seems petty but the entire second half completely ruined the episode for me and I couldn't appreciate anything else, and Jobko is trash tier least favorite character in the show.
I cannot stand the trope of people either forcing people to do a thing/join a club, blackmailing, or otherwise violating another person's will or autonomy. There are some situations where I can justify it in the story like Haruhi to show how much of a bitchy self-ish woman-child to build her character for the story and her antics are treated as a kind of Dark Comedy were the joke is she is a bitch and its not okay, I can understand the Student Council in Girls Und Panzer blackmailing the MC into joining considering the extreme dire circumstances they were in.
But here there is no reason why she could just have just Asked Purin if she could stay over and made her offer with the apps?
Oh you are going to miss the curriculum because you got the forms wrong? TOO FUCKING BAD!
Use your rich ass connections to transfer to the other school!
If it were me I wouldn't just call the cops I would demand they get out and if they didn't comply physically remove them by force WITH VIOLENCE if need be. Trespassing and breaking into people's house is something YOU DO NOT DO! Interfering with someone's autonomy is the biggest thing you can do to piss me off.
So I'm disliking this episode, and I don't care if this post gets me lots of downvotes, if this post (on the very very unlikely chance) Kills my Karma I've built up over Reddit for years, I will consider it worth it to shit on this trope.
This was my favorite anime Original and New Show this season and this episode had to come out of nowhere and tank it.
If you liked this episode or thought her taking over her house and inviting her in was funny. FUCK YOU! YOU ARE A SHIT PERSON WITH SHIT TASTE!
I do not want to hear anyone commenting to be an apologetic for this episode. I will block you, even if we have been reddit buddies for awhile. You are disowned.
......
Maybe not that far, but I'm pretty pissed and need to calm the fuck down.
TL;DR: Don't break into people's house and say its cute.

 

[Purple]

Now this on its own isn't an absurd post given the events of this week. What makes it absurd is I found it in a discussion promoting FUCKING STELLAR BLADE.

I know multiple people who got sucked into calling for boycotts and then later that day posted their personal Overwatch 2 rankings.

 

[conchobhar]

The Sonic Frontiers OST is confirmed to be 150 tracks, has Kellin Quinn (Sleeping With Sirens) features on it, and half of it is Melodic Metalcore with actual screams and breakdowns or vibe-y Post-Hardcore.

I don't think people realize just how huge this is. This is the first time I can think of where a mainstream AAA game intended for all ages predominately features Metalcore (Doom and such are clearly meant for Adults). With how big the Sonic movies have been, a bunch of younger audiences are going to be exposed to Metalcore as a genre for the first time. This could influence a whole new generation of metal fans.

This is huge for the acceptance of Metal as a whole (including Metal subgenres) in the mainstream, and we need to bring more attention to it.

 

[Torzelbaum]

What's he talking about? Wasn't Metal Sonic introduced like 30 years ago?

 

[Felicia]

A little context: It's a thumbs down Steam review.

garbage! finished it twice.

 

[Becksworth]

Re: Sonic/Metalcore

Be right back. Gotta finish my essay on how Spongebob Squarepants introduced children to 90s comedy experimental alt-rock band Ween.

 

[RT-55J]

I dunno Fredde, that just looks like your Average, Totally Normal Steam Reviewer to me.

 

[muteKi]

Misleading? Pot. Kettle. Pink.

Imma come back to you about the “Should Lesbian Twins Be Able To Have Sex With Each Other” car crash another day but, spoiler, as an identical lesbian twin the answer is “No and is your readership so low you must stoop to Twincest?”