Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?

[Becksworth]

Context: somebody with exactly four twitter posts all in the past week or so is alluding to Hollow Knight: Silksong being at the XBox Showcase and the usual places are losing it.

We have learned NOTHING from Jon Cartwright.

You know deep down I was hoping to eat crow here, BUT I was also hoping for a release date with said serving of crow.

 

[Octopus Prime]

You get to nibble on a crow, at least. And that ain’t nothing.

 

[muteKi]

Get the facts first, not hearsay. There is a witness who states Johnny did NOT hit Mr. Brooks.

 

[Becksworth]

A machine translation, but still funny enough to post:

Hello everyone! This is Waddle Dee.
This time I will deliver worldwide information!
The number of Awoofies Kirby has slaughtered has exceeded 1 billion in the world!
But it's a tremendous number ... As expected, Kirby!

Good job on the war crimes, Kirby!

 

[nosimpleway]

As expected!

 

[Octopus Prime]

“It’s good that you did that, Kirby. It’s Very good

 

[Ludendorkk]

Y’all need to read philosophy. Critical theory was developed by Michel Foucault to copy corrupt, racism systems. Under their view, all there is is evil systems, so you must be an inverted evil in order to counter it. He was an admittedly amoral person, and this comic is particularly funny because the theory is openly against honesty.

Foucault was opposed by another marxist Frenchman named Jean Baudrillard, who believed this didn’t account for human nature (what my blog is named after), and just made everyone a slave feeding into what it argues it’s against.

It’s a real debate, and history has shown Baudrillard to look better. The Foucauldians were supporting Trump in the 2016 election, and they’ve copied his approach to politics in the Democrat Party. The Democrats, formerly a civil rights Party (which is the opposite of critical theory), have taken to using nazism in an even worse way than Republicans use White supremacy.

 

[Exposition Owl]

Argh. You’ve killed me, Ludendorkk. I am dead.

 

[Büge]

Version 5.5
4. NPCs now poop themselves while being electrocuted. (see pics)

Version 5.6
3.Reduced the amount of poop generated during electrocutions to just one load.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Cowards

 

[muteKi]

No, all men smell different to all females. All male pheromones are indicative of maleness, and to go back to op, 1of many reasons men never ‘pass’.

 

[Becksworth]

I feel like Caliban is regressing in his character arc here...

 

[muteKi]

I told you to shut up if you can't provide ANY stats on that matter!
Since you refuse to, I will block you in exactly
10 minutes time.
But since I feel pity for you and your fragile ego I will give you the chance to block me first. Bye-bye 👋🏾😁

 

[estragon]

sometimes posts seep into reality

 

[q 3]

sir this is an Arby's

 

[muteKi]

Thank you for highlighting my explanation of the wording in the source I provided that you couldn’t see or translate as being worse than violence, so I elaborated on the source wording to highlight how I translated that viewpoint as worse than physical violence. Not my belief

 

[muteKi]

he isn't defending the "patriarchy", he's defending the social relations intrinsic to capital because he doesn't understand the bourgeoise filiations of the traditional family as reproduction of the class structure

A bit nicer than most of the posts I share here, but some real "that's not a square, it's a quadrilateral with equal-length sides that all meet at right angles" quality to it

 

[muteKi]

if lockheed martin didn't know about this...

and they are STILL trending internationally because of some part time programmer...

they might very well put a bullet in his head. These are not people to fuck around with. well you know what they say, Live by the sword!!!

 

[Exposition Owl]

It is a terrifying truth that most North Americans’ view of how the world works mostly comes from action movies and police procedural TV shows.

 

[muteKi]

The only thing that will restore lockheed martin's reputation as merchants of death is for them to enact a series of targeted executions of twitter posters

 

[Becksworth]

There is terminally online, and there is TERMINALLY ONLINE.

 

[RT-55J]

This year's candidacy marks a decade of not trying to win but to use the Voters' Pamphlet to attract viewers to the posts on my blog http:// [redacted] .blogspot.com.

As the world’s only-ever simultaneously licensed doctor, lawyer, accountant & engineer, plus business owner & creative; all kinds of people can talk with me about highly complicated issues. I have traditional values but willing to change my mind when the facts change. I cannot be bribed, intimidated nor extorted, and have no vices: I’m the kind of qualified and incorruptible citizen who should be in Congress. Please join me in helping our great country continue to succeed. See my Kindle booklet, “[redacted]” (available on Amazon), for my positions.

Elected Experience
None.

Other Professional Experience
Watching C-Span for 30 years

Statement
[...] Make C-Span more entertaining.

Education
Certain people have made sure I got one.

 

[estragon]

Our director’s original order was to find an actor who holds a close physical resemblance to the real Castro to build from, along with finding someone Alina Fernandez would strongly endorse. To get there on such a tough look to cast, we used Fidel Castro’s ancient Galician heraldry as our focal compass, and then combed through the entire ranks of actors with Latin roots in Hollywood to find someone who has a similar facial structure. In executing a close search into our hopefuls through the eye of Spanish and Portuguese genealogy which the Galicians held, we found that James, by far, had the closest facial likeness of our Industry’s leading actors, meaning that the focus would be to build out his character accent and we’d have a stunning on-screen match to intrigue audiences and bring the story to life with true visual integrity. Altogether, working with such a supportive and exciting cast has been a true blessing to our team and project

 

[gorha]

lol so much for videogames being superior on CD than cartridges isn't it Square?

 

[muteKi]

As for the right - whose right? What does that actually mean? Are you talking about political stuff? Because I don’t really follow politics. I liked Boris, but he turned out to be a bloody twit. I didn’t like Trump. I’m pro choice with abortion.

 

[muteKi]

Any man can beat a woman at sport.
It's not unfeminist to acknowledge reality

 

[RT-55J]

Counterpoint: Any woman can beat me at sports.

 

[Becksworth]

Are there guys who still genuinely believe this, or is this just a troll who knows this will get a rise out of people?

 

[muteKi]

This is a woman who apparently used to be trapped in a sex cult

 

[Becksworth]

This is a woman who apparently used to be trapped in a sex cult

...huh...