I rolled the dice last night, and the number landed on...
Mick & Mack as the Global Gladiators isn't the first McDonald's tie-in game, and it isn't even the only one on the Genesis. (The other was designed by Treasure. Yes, that Treasure. Somebody get this one on my list, please.) It was published by Virgin Interactive in 1992 on the Mega Drive/Genesis, and then later the Amiga, Game Gear, and Master System, with plans for other ports that were eventually scrapped. It's a pseudo-sequel to the NES game
M.C. Kids, also published by Virgin, which I actually loved as a kid.
Back in those days I'd go to the Sounds Easy Video in Wiscasset Maine, where they'd have SNES, Genesis, and NES consoles hooked up to a TV in the video game section, and you could pull games off the racks and try them out if you wanted. I tested out lots of games this way, and I definitely remember Global Gladiators being one of them. So let's see how it stacked up to rosy childhood memories!
What it's All About
Here, verbatim, is the story text from the manual.
Strap on your goo-shooters and get ready for the global adventure of the year! Two cool kids, Mick and Mack, are hanging out at McDonalds (R) when they are magically zapped into their favorite comic book where they take on the roles of their favorite super heros (sic), the Global Gladiators. As the player, you'll use goo-shooters to battle various creatures in the Slime World, Mystical Forest, Toxi-Town, and Arctic World. As the player, you will help Mick and Mack think globally and act locally to clean-up the various worlds. If you're really good, you'll collect the Golden Arches, and other colored arches and go to the bonus game - a fast-paced dizzying game of recycling.
So get ready to jump over dangerous traps, speed through the world and be the best Global Gladiator ever seen!
The eco-warrior theme of the game is pretty typical for the time period, and also feels more than a little gross filtered through the voice of mega-corporation McDonald's. Also I love the idea of McD's clown deity Ronald McDonald deciding to zap two children into an alternate world where they have to clean everything up themselves, instead of taking care of the job himself. Maybe this game is secretly subversive.
(lol)
How it Works
Typical 90s side-view action platformer with distinct Euro flavor. You play as your choice of Cool 90s Kid Mick or Cool 90s Kid Mack (selectable in the options screen, with only aesthetic differences, and oddly the game has no two-player mode to speak of). You run around with the d-pad, shoot goo out of your legally distinct Super Soaker with the B button, and jump with the C button. Each world has three stages with slightly different color schemes. You can collect
coins power rings arches of various colors, and if you get 75, you go to the garbage cleanup mini-game (I never got this many), and if you get fewer than 30, Ronald doesn't let you into the next stage.
Right, so, at the end of each stage, the yellow-garbed clown is waiting with a racing flag to wave you onward, but only if you get enough magic McD's branding symbols. What game are
you playing, clown?
Anyway, you've got three lives, a life meter (the arrow under the score), and that's about it. You can pick up extra lives, time extensions, checkpoint arrows, and energy refills, but other than that there's no power-ups to speak of. There are no bosses. The three sub-stages change layouts and color palettes, but keep the same enemies and hazards between each one.
How it Feels
You start off the game in Slime World, greeted by goo-encrusted platforms, sludge-spitting enemies, and some frankly rockin' tunes by Tommy Tallarico. There's flashing lightning and thunder in the background, which makes for a dramatic introduction.
I mentioned it earlier, but this game is Euro as hell. I can't quite put my finger on exactly the ingredients that conspire to create this flavor, but you know it when you see it. This is also a game of a style which I'd label as "learning the wrong lessons from Sonic the Hedgehog." The levels are fairly large, with multiple elevations and paths, invisible platforms that lead to secrets, and lots of ramp-like hills. Mick or Mack gain momentum as they move, starting off slow and speeding up to a blast processing dash.
In theory, this should result in a breezy, natural-feeling experience, like a Sonic game, but there's a few things that get in the way. For one, Mick/Mack lose all momentum when they jump, so in practice you can't use your max-speed dash to get very far. There are quite a few blind jumps and bottomless pits, or areas full of bullet-spewing enemies, that require careful progression. Also, whenever you tap the d-pad, the camera zealously snaps in that direction. In effect the momentum feels both too fast and too slow simultaneously. I found myself wishing Mick would settle on a medium-speed walk instead of his slow lead-up and fast dash.
But beyond that, the game plays well enough. It's satisfying to spray goo everywhere (I really thought it was nacho cheese). You can aim your goo spray up or down with the d-pad, and the goo cancels enemy bullets, so you can safely move forward while shooting and generally stay safe. There's lots of surprisingly crisp voice samples for a Genesis game, too. It's fun to find the hidden platforms that lead to caches of arches or life power-ups. The spritework is well-drawn, it's easy to tell the difference between the foreground and background, and in general everything feels pretty intuitive.
I made it through the Slime World and used up a whole continue along the way, mostly losing to slippery falls into bottomless pits.
Would I Play More?
Not likely. By the time I'd gotten to Forest World, I felt like I'd seen everything the game had to offer, except for the bonus game. The same studio/team put out more engaging work in the same era, and I'd be more likely to give those games a try and see what similarities and differences they have with this one.
But I do have a strange craving for a cheeseburger...
Many thanks to
@Octopus Prime for the suggestion!