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Tonight I Will Play a Licensed Video Game of Your Choice

MetManMas

Me and My Bestie
(He, him)
Joy Mecha Fight was on the Famicom but that never got a localization.

The SNES was out by the time the fighting game genre really took off, but considering how much support the NES still saw for a couple of years it's surprising how little of it was 1v1 fighters. And the Game Boy, a platform that requires jumping through hoops for multiplayer, saw a bunch of 'em.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
Wrestling probably counts as its own genre distinct from 1v1 fighters, but there are quite a few wrestling games on NES with 1v1 modes. But yeah, otherwise I can't think of many fighting games of that style which made it to the NES. I'd say it was the lack of buttons, but like MMM says, the Game Boy had a number of attempted fighting games, and it had the same number of buttons.

Oh, by the way, I'm throwing in another wrench: you still get only one vote for my table, but you can vote for a game that's already on the list (by someone else's vote), if you want to increase its chances of coming up in the next play.
 

MetManMas

Me and My Bestie
(He, him)
Still backing Bebe's Kids (SNES) as my suggestion choice. It has to be seen to be believed how they made a game out of the movie. Also I preemptively apologize if you do end up having to play this game.

As for the other suggestions, I am backing Wildcat JF's Goof Troop (SNES) rec.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
There's no need to apologize. To echo FelixSH,

I think I'm really incapable of finding a game honest-to-god bad, at this point.

Even if one (or many) of these games end up being not terribly fun to play, they'll still tell me something interesting about their design choices. I find that I can pull enjoyment out of just about any type of game nowadays.

By the way, just to be clear, you still only have a total of one vote. If you want to vote for someone else's choice, you have to change your one vote to that game. And everyone is always free to change their vote at any time, or add in a new one if they're not currently on the list.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
I didn't nominate previously, so I'm'a second False's Bart's Nightmare (preferably SNES) because for reasons that elude present-day-me I actually bought that game as a kid and I'm curious what you'd make of it.
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
Except for Karate Champ and maybe kinda Double Dragon, I don’t think there were any fighting games on the NES.

Game had the whole road to itself!

As others have mentioned, Joy Mecha Fight and Urban Champion are in the ballpark. Also, the NES port of Karate Champ is so bad. Taking the two joystick controls of the arcade and losing one in favor of two buttons is... not great. You're basically losing FIVE inputs.

Wrestling probably counts as its own genre distinct from 1v1 fighters, but there are quite a few wrestling games on NES with 1v1 modes. But yeah, otherwise I can't think of many fighting games of that style which made it to the NES. I'd say it was the lack of buttons, but like MMM says, the Game Boy had a number of attempted fighting games, and it had the same number of buttons.

As a big wrestling fan, I think wrestling games are a different animal from fighting games, but if you pressed me, it would be hard for me to explain exactly why. (I feel the same way about boxing games, which also exist on NES in two-player vs. varieties.)
 

MetManMas

Me and My Bestie
(He, him)
As a big wrestling fan, I think wrestling games are a different animal from fighting games, but if you pressed me, it would be hard for me to explain exactly why.
The option for vertical (and sometimes diagonal) movement and the emphasis on pinning over K.O.s?
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
I thought about that, but I would still class, say, Nekketsu Fighting Legend as a fighting game (another great one for Famicom), and it has belt-scrolling movement like a wrestling game. Same with SNK's Street Smart or Pit Fighter, etc. I mean, I guess the pinning makes all the difference, because I consider King of the Monsters a wrestling game, but that does feel like a pretty arbitrary distinction, tbh.
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
I think it's probably not just the pinning, but also the emphasis on grappling. Most wrestling games I've played have deeper, more explicit grappling mechanics than a typical fighting game, which is more "get close and hit hard punch or two buttons". And maybe there are some wrestling games out there that put more of an emphasis on striking (I admit to not having played a ton, maybe Saturday Night Slammasters to some degree?), but it feels like most "traditional" fighters emphasize fisticuffs much more heavily.

Nekketsu Fighting Legend rocks, of course. :)
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
Yeah, that probably is it. A dedicated grapple button makes a big difference in how a game feels.
 

Lokii

(He/Him)
Staff member
Moderator
Ooo Addams Family SNES is a game I keep coming back to for whatever reason. I'll throw a vote at it too. Ocean's best?
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
I rolled the dice last night, and the number landed on...

mKDDCRl.jpg


Mick & Mack as the Global Gladiators isn't the first McDonald's tie-in game, and it isn't even the only one on the Genesis. (The other was designed by Treasure. Yes, that Treasure. Somebody get this one on my list, please.) It was published by Virgin Interactive in 1992 on the Mega Drive/Genesis, and then later the Amiga, Game Gear, and Master System, with plans for other ports that were eventually scrapped. It's a pseudo-sequel to the NES game M.C. Kids, also published by Virgin, which I actually loved as a kid.

Back in those days I'd go to the Sounds Easy Video in Wiscasset Maine, where they'd have SNES, Genesis, and NES consoles hooked up to a TV in the video game section, and you could pull games off the racks and try them out if you wanted. I tested out lots of games this way, and I definitely remember Global Gladiators being one of them. So let's see how it stacked up to rosy childhood memories!

What it's All About

Here, verbatim, is the story text from the manual.

Strap on your goo-shooters and get ready for the global adventure of the year! Two cool kids, Mick and Mack, are hanging out at McDonalds (R) when they are magically zapped into their favorite comic book where they take on the roles of their favorite super heros (sic), the Global Gladiators. As the player, you'll use goo-shooters to battle various creatures in the Slime World, Mystical Forest, Toxi-Town, and Arctic World. As the player, you will help Mick and Mack think globally and act locally to clean-up the various worlds. If you're really good, you'll collect the Golden Arches, and other colored arches and go to the bonus game - a fast-paced dizzying game of recycling.

So get ready to jump over dangerous traps, speed through the world and be the best Global Gladiator ever seen!

The eco-warrior theme of the game is pretty typical for the time period, and also feels more than a little gross filtered through the voice of mega-corporation McDonald's. Also I love the idea of McD's clown deity Ronald McDonald deciding to zap two children into an alternate world where they have to clean everything up themselves, instead of taking care of the job himself. Maybe this game is secretly subversive.

(lol)

How it Works

9ZYKilU.png


Typical 90s side-view action platformer with distinct Euro flavor. You play as your choice of Cool 90s Kid Mick or Cool 90s Kid Mack (selectable in the options screen, with only aesthetic differences, and oddly the game has no two-player mode to speak of). You run around with the d-pad, shoot goo out of your legally distinct Super Soaker with the B button, and jump with the C button. Each world has three stages with slightly different color schemes. You can collect coins power rings arches of various colors, and if you get 75, you go to the garbage cleanup mini-game (I never got this many), and if you get fewer than 30, Ronald doesn't let you into the next stage.

Right, so, at the end of each stage, the yellow-garbed clown is waiting with a racing flag to wave you onward, but only if you get enough magic McD's branding symbols. What game are you playing, clown?

Anyway, you've got three lives, a life meter (the arrow under the score), and that's about it. You can pick up extra lives, time extensions, checkpoint arrows, and energy refills, but other than that there's no power-ups to speak of. There are no bosses. The three sub-stages change layouts and color palettes, but keep the same enemies and hazards between each one.

How it Feels

You start off the game in Slime World, greeted by goo-encrusted platforms, sludge-spitting enemies, and some frankly rockin' tunes by Tommy Tallarico. There's flashing lightning and thunder in the background, which makes for a dramatic introduction.


I mentioned it earlier, but this game is Euro as hell. I can't quite put my finger on exactly the ingredients that conspire to create this flavor, but you know it when you see it. This is also a game of a style which I'd label as "learning the wrong lessons from Sonic the Hedgehog." The levels are fairly large, with multiple elevations and paths, invisible platforms that lead to secrets, and lots of ramp-like hills. Mick or Mack gain momentum as they move, starting off slow and speeding up to a blast processing dash.

In theory, this should result in a breezy, natural-feeling experience, like a Sonic game, but there's a few things that get in the way. For one, Mick/Mack lose all momentum when they jump, so in practice you can't use your max-speed dash to get very far. There are quite a few blind jumps and bottomless pits, or areas full of bullet-spewing enemies, that require careful progression. Also, whenever you tap the d-pad, the camera zealously snaps in that direction. In effect the momentum feels both too fast and too slow simultaneously. I found myself wishing Mick would settle on a medium-speed walk instead of his slow lead-up and fast dash.

But beyond that, the game plays well enough. It's satisfying to spray goo everywhere (I really thought it was nacho cheese). You can aim your goo spray up or down with the d-pad, and the goo cancels enemy bullets, so you can safely move forward while shooting and generally stay safe. There's lots of surprisingly crisp voice samples for a Genesis game, too. It's fun to find the hidden platforms that lead to caches of arches or life power-ups. The spritework is well-drawn, it's easy to tell the difference between the foreground and background, and in general everything feels pretty intuitive.

I made it through the Slime World and used up a whole continue along the way, mostly losing to slippery falls into bottomless pits.

Would I Play More?

Not likely. By the time I'd gotten to Forest World, I felt like I'd seen everything the game had to offer, except for the bonus game. The same studio/team put out more engaging work in the same era, and I'd be more likely to give those games a try and see what similarities and differences they have with this one.

But I do have a strange craving for a cheeseburger...


Many thanks to @Octopus Prime for the suggestion!
 

FelixSH

(He/Him)
The game might be not great, but I love how it looks. Cartoony, colorful, and nice spritework. The font they used for the score(?) reminds me of Banjo-Kazooie, which makes me immediately happy.

But it sounds like it isn't super bad? Like you could have fun with it, if you rent it for one weekend?
 

RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
I think it needs to be noted that the very first sound you hear when you start up this game is this voice clip:


unbelievable
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Not only does the Garbage Clown send children to a magical monster world in order to clean it up, but it’s only McDonalds themed garbage he expects you to clean.

Ive always been curious about this game, since MC Kids was unexpectedly solid, but it sounds like they couldn’t keep that momentum going
 

RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
MC Kids was developed by a separate (smaller!) team within Virgin. The programmer for MC Kids wrote a short retrospective of the game (in 1997!) expressing disappointment that the flashier Global Gladiators got more attention than the deeper, more content-packed MC Kids.

Anyhow, I can't mention MC Kids without bringing up this (very technical) developer postmortem from 1992. I wish that there were more articles of this vintage like this!
 
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Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
Would I Play More?

Not likely. By the time I'd gotten to Forest World, I felt like I'd seen everything the game had to offer, except for the bonus game. The same studio/team put out more engaging work in the same era, and I'd be more likely to give those games a try and see what similarities and differences they have with this one.
So you weren't loving it?
But I do have a strange craving for a cheeseburger...
But it sounds like the "game" achieved its true goal.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
The game might be not great, but I love how it looks. Cartoony, colorful, and nice spritework. The font they used for the score(?) reminds me of Banjo-Kazooie, which makes me immediately happy.

But it sounds like it isn't super bad? Like you could have fun with it, if you rent it for one weekend?

Yeah, this is exactly right! It's totally a weekend rental kinda game. It feels like the target they were aiming for was "flashy, bare-bones action platformer," and with the exception of the squishy momentum, I think they hit it.

Based on all these other comments, I guess I'm gonna have to put M.C. Kids on my get-list! I remember loving it as a kid.
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
I remember GameFan loving this game back in the day, though. Granted, they loved a lot of games, but I have the issue that gushed praise for it, so it stands out to me.
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
I remember them dumping on Double Dragon II for PC Engine CD, which always kinda surprised me.
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
I remember them dumping on Double Dragon II for PC Engine CD, which always kinda surprised me.

If they liked Global Gladiators and not the PC Engine Super CD ROMROM port of Double Dragon II, they were not to be trusted. (They were not.)
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
If they liked Global Gladiators and not the PC Engine Super CD ROMROM port of Double Dragon II, they were not to be trusted. (They were not.)
I definitely think that's true... but dang if they didn't have some of the coolest screenshots and layouts at the time. It's a mag that looked fantastic.

For anyone interested, here's the stuff in question:

RI1FYTC.jpg


zXcHJvK.jpg


tOxj2vP.jpg
 
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Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
Boy, game mag writers back in the day sure did have a funny opinion of what looks "8-bit."

I love seeing these old writeups, though. I wonder if they really did love Global Gladiators as much as they claimed.
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
Pretty sure there were copious amounts of drugs at GameFan, at any rate.

And yeah, thinking that looks 8-bit is like... what? I guess if the sprites weren't massive, screen-filling monstrosities, it wasn't good enough. Or maybe this dude was having a bad day.

(Also, oh noes, there's no "scrolls"! However will we survive without parallax layers?)

EDIT: I just had to play through DD2 because of this review. Aaaaaand... well, I'm not nearly as negative on it, but I don't think it's as good as the NES version (US or Japanese). I think it's the special moves being nerfed so much that bothers me more than anything. It is fascinating just from seeing how the game has been reinterpreted in the move to PCE CD, though.
 
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