A Questionable Grasp of Botany: Let's Play Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom!

The street is occupied by two foul ol’ vagrants, delightfully named EP (Extended Pneumonia) and DR (Dastardly Ragamuffin).

Estranged Park-bench: I can give you information. But it’s going to cost you gold!
Dry Roustabout: I hate farmies!

Again, the residents of Sopville aren’t terribly used to sensibly reacting around the member of the force that is forcefully occupying your hometown. But, since that’s the right thing to do, Sir Cucumber shows him the Crest, proving that an unspecified number of Farmies are, in truth, nice people in flawless disguises.


Someone dug a tunnel halfway to the castle. See the old lady around the corner, she knows a lot!

Wow, the people in Sopville are pretty helpful once you reveal to them that you’re not coming around to meet your Daily Beating quota.

Incidentally, that advice that Emmanuel Plankton was offering me?



His advice was selling me a shovel. That’s sensible.



I’m not sure if the Old Lady is a old banana or a horrific cashew, but there she is. All withered, and elderly.



So Sir Cucumber barged into the bedroom of a sleeping old lady? Well, he is a Hero. And what does a Hero do when faced with a napping senior-citizen in the middle of a violent occupation by a hostile, expansionist empire? He force-feeds her medicine.


Radish Ron found a key to a room in the castle.

The Old Lady wasn’t particularly helpful, on the whole, so Sir Cucumber steals from gold from her. You all know why he did this. He also heads back to the Bar in order to see what that lousy jerk Ron has to say now.



George: Zzzz… Zzzzz…
Dan: Ha ha…
Radish Ron: You guys again? George and Dan are helping the Minister! The Minister is holding The Princess in his castle!

Well, that was totally unhelpful. Might as well leave the Bar and then go back in and then Talk to him again. Just to show him who’s boss!

I found this key in the Castle Garden. It’s for a room in the Castle, but I don’t know which one. Poor Princess Tomato. You’re going to the castle? Here, take this key!

Yeah, re-entering the bar was just the incentive Ron needed to start yappin’ and handing out treasure. Now to prove to the Old Lady that yes, we spoke to Ron.


It isn’t completed so be sure to take some tools. When you are in the passage go FORWARD, RIGHT, LEFT AND FORWARD. She’s just mumbling, Boss.

Thanks for the directions, Old Lady! Lets head into the Passage!





If there’s anything better then navigating a maze where almost every screen looks the same, it’s navigating a maze where you literally cannot see anything at all. It’s a fine thing then that Old Lady was kind enough to provide me with directions before she lapsed into senile babbling. So, forward.

What? No, Percy, it’s Right. I wrote it down.



PISS OFF, PERCY!





After stumbling through the pitch-black dungeon, coping with Percy’s misleading directions (and the Old Lady’s equally misleading directions, I might add) we arrive here, at the end of the Dungeon: A featureless rock-wall that looks like an entirely black screen. Sir Cucumber wields his Shovel and destroys the wall.



Shoveling is the only thing Sir Cucumber excels at more then even heroism.



This is kind of puzzling. Either the door is INCREDIBLY small, or it opened into a vast underground cave. In either case, whoever built the tower built a door outside, in the basement, either leading to a sheer drop, or a solid wall. My Earlier theories about the Royal Family being pretty messed up via inbreeding seem to have stretched to their architects too, it seems. Well, let’s mosey on in and save ourselves a Princess!

…wait for it.







…wait for it.









Anyone surprised by this point?

And so Our Heroes have infiltrated The Castle. The Climactic Showdown against Minister Pumpkin is nigh. Will they persevere, save The Princess and vanquish their foe? The answer… is looming ahead

Oh come on, at least say you lost it while stumbling around in the dark!

;_; Don't hurt me!

"Mommy, why did he get better acronyms than me?"

I think Eggplant is pretty obvious but hell if I know what R.D. is.

Dry Raddish?

My guess is it's supposed to be Daikon Radish?

Possibly Daikon Radish?

Edit: oh damn you have entirely beaten me to it

Daikon! Daikon! I wanna chop me up some Daikon!

I will mangle you!

"Come on, OctoPrime. Don't you want to play through the game again with your ol' pal Perc? It'll be fun, I promise."

N-no! No! Nooooooooo!

"Want a smoke?...You change your mind, just let me know."

KILL IT WITH FIRE

No! Death will only make it stronger!

===========================================

Chapter 8: I’m Sorry Sir Cucumber, But The Princess isn’t in Another Castle!

And so this is it, after months of wandering across the country side, killing various monsters/people/robots and doing (on average) a few extremely minor acts of heroism, such as getting a sandwich for a cannibalistic mass-murderer, and giving a guy with a cantaloupe for a head some aspirin, our Heroes have reached the Castle. Wherein lies Princess Tomato, who is overdue to wed Sir Cucumber as soon as he thwarts Minister Pumpkins villainous Regime. All that stands in his way between the sovereignty of the Salad Kingdom and an endless regime under the thumb of Farmy rule is the trek from the castle’s basement to its highest tower. Well… it’s room farthest down the hall from the basement door.

Our Hero will win. He… has to.



Sir Cucumber and Percy check the area, surely there would be some device critical to the defeat of Minister Pumpkin somewhere in this storage closet. Where else would it be?


There is an oil pot and a pine tar pot.

Despite Percy’s objections, Sir Cucumber picks up the oil and tar. Just to be on the safe side.



Another quick look around, after picking up the Oil and Tar reveals more items that would have otherwise been invisible. Sir Cucumber also has Percy pick those up.



I’m reasonably certain that Percy is tired of his indentured servitude. Sucks to be him, I guess. Now, out of the store-room and ONTO DESTINY!



I’m inclined to agree with Percy on this one, this is one fuh-hug-lee hallway. Our Heroes try the lower-right door, since that seems as good a spot as any.


It’s locked

Well, so much for that idea. Let’s try another door then…



Wait, what?



Is… she asking Sir Cucumber, or he asking her?


The Princess went to take a bath. All Farmies should be at the festival.

As soon as the festival is over, the castle will be swarming with Farmies. No time to waste, let’s barge in on the Princess while she bathes! Sir Cucumber is a Voyeur! And a Hero! To the Upper Left Door!



Cram it, Perce, we’re Heroes! It’s part of our geas to barge into rooms as loudly as possible!



Excuse me, Miss Princess? We’re here to rescue you now.

She doesn’t react. Clearly the shower is on full strength and she can’t hear her rescuers. Only one thing to do… PUNCH THE SHOWER!



…Okay, well… umm… Princess Tomato is rather less like a Tomato then I was expecting, somewhat surprised with that, honestly. So… Hi, we’re here to rescue you, as soon as, you know, you towel off a bit?



Oh, OH! Okay, so we just barged into the bathroom of a complete stranger while she was showering. That’s fine, that’s cool. Uh… sorry about that. You makes sure you rinse properly. Assuming you’re using any shampoo, what with being an orange and all.

Come Percy… TO THE GARDEN! Which is the Upper-Right Door in that ugly, ugly hallway?



This time the door is locked, and there is no sheepish attendant to open it for a boisterous hero. Time to do some deductive reasoning; Okay, we’ve got a Key for the Castle in the last Chapter, which was an important item, so Percy didn’t drop it. And we have a locked door, which is typically the kind of thing a key can be used on. Let’s put two and two together and get THROUGH A DOOR!



Yeah, how do you like that, Minister Pumpkin? Bet you weren’t expecting that I had a key, were you?

This room is rather more dingy then I was expecting. Certainly a lot less Garden-y then I was expecting. Welp, let’s get CHECKing.

The VICINITY contains One (1) Desk.
the DESK contains 1 Picture, 1 Scrap of Paper and 3 Drawers
The First Drawer contains nothing
The Second Drawer also contains nothing
The Third Drawer contains 1 Gold Coin
The Picture is of Minister Pumpkin and someone who looks exactly like Minister Pumpkin.
The Paper is a letter to the Minister signed “Jr Pumpkin”

Our Heroes steal the money and the personal correspondence to the Minister from his Son. Now back into that ugly hallway and into the second ugly hallway!




At least the second hallway is the same color as the first, otherwise it’d be pretty tacky. To the Left, young Percival!



Bingo! The Princess should be around here, now we can rescue her! Percy, you go check that Pond for her.


I fell into the water, Boss! Help! Help! Help!

Well, Percy is finished, might as well keep looking for the Princess on my own.




Probably should have thought of that before you kept dropping all my stuff, Percy.

Excuse me, I'm going to cherish this for a while. I'm not going to lie, this is my favorite scene.

*cue HAL 9000 voice* - "What are you doing? I'm afraid I can't let you do that Octoprime."

blubber blubber.

Between this and Bananda there's enough fetish fuel here to last a lifetime.

I'm glad I played through this game in my formative years.

AHHHHH! Anthropomorphic Fruit Fan Service! What the hell is wrong with this game?






I think he likes it.

Hey Boss, she's got soft skin.

I hope you realize you've started a new Talking Time meme, young man.

I love the way you've just left it with Percy drowning. Serves him right, the useless vegetable.

How does a fruit drown? I'd bet money that the fan version of this game has an even more "revealing" orange in a shower scene...

Just a hunch

Secret ending: The lake is made of Everclear and Cool-Aide, and the Farmies are really Frat boys. Percy is the final ingredient in their Evil Hunch Punch.

GAME OVER.

Percy once told me that he beat Milon's Secret Castle in two days. Damn lying persimmons.

How did I ever miss this thread, I need to check the LP forum more.

I rented it because of the cover art, and I fell in love with it. My mom read the first chapter to me when I was five. Later, when I could read better, I bought it for $10 at a flea market. This game and Deja Vu guided me gently into Lucasarts adventure games - I have an affinity for it that no amount of logic or analysis can overcome.



Yes, I keep them together. No, I don't like Milon's Secret Castle.

fixeded

Hey Boss, I think school just let out.

I've got a pervasive sensation that Percy is watching me, everywhere. And as I walk down the street, I will turn around and shout 'PERCY' at the person behind me, who will ask 'Who's Percy?'

Oh God he's escaped

If all the Precy images don't stop I'll soon be worried he's watching me as well. Though as I think more about it, it seems that Percy plays a vital role in the story, in fact he might be a perfect archetype: the bungling assistant. Don Quixote had Sancho Panza, Abbot had Costello, every straightman needs a clown and Percy is a clown par excellence...

So.....Percy is this forum's Pedobear?

EDIT: NO! He's the forum's Brian Peppers!

He even looks like a bit like a yellow pepper in the remake. Percy Peppers, anyone?