A Questionable Grasp of Botany: Let's Play Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom!

Hahaha, Percy's totally fucking with you now.

Percy just does not give a fuh.


In the context of things, shouldn't this be kind of horrifying? Well, not any more than the grape juice, I guess.

Oh, percy if only we could kill you. You and every other horrible sentient plant in this game...

So is grappy a grape or a blob of grape jelly? The latter is the most horrifying thing... *shudder*

Percy's a double agent, a pumpkin sympathizer. Really, there's no other explanation.

Just like Big Boss in the original Metal Gear. Pretty soon he'll be telling Sir Cucumber to "CREEP INTO THE LORRY ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

"...OVER."


Upon close examination, his head is a bunch of grapes. The rest of him -- no idea.

Guys, the game is about to get awesome.

I will admit, the end of Chapter 6 made me forget all the crumminess

23 posts and here you are already kicking ass. Well done.

Strangely, the Creepy-Smiley actualy makes Percy more tolerable to look at.

I had to stare at it for a few minutes, but I figured Grapy out!

I'm not so afraid of him anymore!

This is good! I was honestly a little concerned I might get banned for doing that.

Still would have been worth it though.

Nope. Still looks like intestines.

Well, I can't promise you won't.

I was thinking he was the grape version of Tetsuo, myself.

GRAPESUO!!!

BANANADA!!!

I'm less concerned about negative repercussions on "Awesome Percy" now.

An IRC chat excerpt that's unrelated, but still relevant:

[Zafflesia] Persimmons will make you shit. My grandma's got stories about it
[Zafflesia] "this one time I ate so many persimmons...!"

*claps*

I don't know how much you know about persimmons (I'm an expert)...

Fix'd for accuracy?

Chapter 6: Carvers Paradise

Our Heroes find themselves in the Carrot Plateau. A sunny field not touched by the horrors of the Farmie Conflict.



Also not touched by any kind of cleaning crew, it would seem.



Sir Cucumbers attempts to stymie the terrible effects of casual littering are themselves stymied by his greed. No deposit, not trash clean-up! Well if the Salad Kingdom won’t give five cents to its HERO then screw it, He’s just going to move on.



The Peanut village seems to have several non-anthropomorphic peanuts as residents. That’s weird. Since they’re standing a distance away and have no mouths we will ignore them and focus on the crying Peanut man and his crying peanut wife.


Boo… Hoo… Bananda could have eaten Nutty already! Sob..weep..sob..sob! Won’t you help Nutty? Our house is at the far end of the village.

So it seems that they’re sadsacks because they’re daughter is about to be eaten by a banana. I could understand the Farmies being a threat, because humans generally do eat vegetables, and Saladron was a monster, so that was also fine, but a Banana?



First things first though, Sir Cucumber heads to the Peanut Park, hoping to abandon Perce somewhere, thereby dropping quite a bit of dead weight. He speaks to the children gathered around.

Shroom:The Convenient Store sells many different things. Can you little friend play with us?
Peaja: Yes, what is it? Carrot the Hermit lives at the other end of the park. Go talk to the Old Hermit.
Peasha: No one can read the characters on this statue. Isn’t my boyfriend cute?

Ohkay, well… Peaja was kind of useful? And despite what Shroom asks, you can’t leave Percy behind. Dammit. Sir Cucumber does find some money that one of the kids dropped, however. Which then goes into his wallet. Sir Cucumber is a Hero.



THANKS PERCY!



Sir Cucumber and Percy then head to the Convenience Store to buy a squid.

Well? What would you do in that situation?



One Cephalopod later, we head for the Carrot Hermit’s house. He is hungry and demands food. Because every hermit in this game is greedy and won’t help until you pay them off. We give him the squid.

Because?


Get your little friend to ask the Village Chief for a Lamp. Come back here after beating Bananda. Bananda is such a bother!

Yes, I’d say that a cannibalistic Banana Monster is downright vexing.

At least he was direct and concise with the information he was giving, making him possibly the games single most helpful NPC. To the Peanut Chief’s House!



He seems kind of non-chalant about the whole “My daughter has been abducted by a potassium-rich monster” thing.

I’ll reward you handsomely if you save my daughter!

Well jeez! You should have said so earliar! Off we are to Bananda’s Cave!

STRANGER DANGER

I wanted the writing on the Hudson Bee statue to be morse code. But all I can get out of it is "AATTST AATTST N" (or possibly "aamst aamst n") which isn't very enlightening.

Maybe it's braille?

You can buy a code book to deceipher it, but I didn't have enough coins after buying the squid.

It says: "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

Seems dark and foreboding! Lets spelunk!



Oh yes, I forgot about the whole lamp thing. We better go back and ask about borrowing one.


Can you lend us a lamp to use in the cave? Boss, he gave us a lamp!

Yes, you need to try to go into the cave, and then fail, and then go back to the Chief before you even get the opportunity to ask for a lamp. Even if you already know to ask for one from the Hermit… yeah.

…yeah


Lamp in tow, we can now advance slightly deeper into Bananda’s Cave.



Another maze! AWESOME! This one isn’t so bad, though, since it’s a straight line into Bananda’s lair.

Who wants to bet I’ll be coming back soon and having to navigate the whole damn thing?



I have to admit, I wasn’t quite expecting Bananda to be a Banana version of the Ogdru Jahad. Hell, I was barely expecting him to be a Banana at all. Regardless, s/he is (they are?) a monster, which means they are bad, which means that Sir Cucumber has carte blanche to murder him/her/them.



You know, Sir Cucumber, there are other ways to fight besides playing Rock Paper Scissors. Just throwing that out there.



Lacking the chance to play murderous Rock-Paper-Scissors, Sir Cucumber just chucks his Nut Bomb at the monster, blowing it to smithereens. This might seem a little excessive, but remember, monsters are okay to kill, under any circumstances. Sir Cucumber takes some of the flesh of the exploded Bananda, either as proof that the monster is dead, or because Sir Cucumber is a sick bastard. Either way works.


Oh, thank you! I had given up hope! Let’s go!

After digging like hell through the many, many skins of ruptured Banana-Monster, Our Heroes finally find the missing Nutty. Yay. This probably means that, yes, she was actually devoured by Bananda and was miraculously unharmed by the detonation of the fiend. Which is kind of weird since wasn’t he supposed to have a vegetable-dicing weapon? Probably would have been more prudent to use that then to just swallow her whole. Anyhow, we return the beleaguered, slightly digested, nut back to her parents.



The Chief and his Wife seem rather more pleased now that their daughter isn’t quite as deceased as they were expecting. Which is nice of them.



The couple has deep seated emotional troubles and can’t properly express emotions. Theirs is a tragic fate.



The Chief and Nutty are simultaneously in front of their house, and at the entrance of the town. Sir Cucumber decides to ask about this little bit of befuddling quantum mechanics.


Please take this battery. It starts the Dice-O-Matic. You must defeat Minister Pumpkin next!

That doesn’t answer my question, but it does provide me with a battery that I can use to power a vegetable-slaughtering weapon. And it also gives me a direction to head in, a direction that I’ve been trying to head in for more then a month now, mind, but a direction all the same! Now I have to head back to the Hermit, since he wanted to know when I blew Bananda to itty-bitty-pieces.


Here, I’ll give you this Medicine!

The Carrot Hermit won’t actually do anything to help me, this time, unless I give him some Clover Juice. This is because, as previously noted, all Hermits in this game have to be as unhelpful as possible. The Carrot Hermit broke protocol by being INCREDIBLY useful with one item given to him, so that was about all I was getting. But hey, nondescript, no-name brand medicine, that’s sure to be useful. No where to go now, BACK TO BANANDA’S CAVE!

Because… why not?