Let's play King of Dragon Pass, just as our ancestors did

Arene, you had one chance to be a badass competent thane, and then you lost to the Toronto Blue Jays. You suck!

Couldn't we just send them to those warriors of Humakt who cleansed our lands a few updates ago?

"Hey, we know some guys who can help you. We'll totally hook you up."

We're not gonna run out of zombies anytime soon, you know!

Year 1335, part 8



25 cows for a point of magic. It's not the best trade, but it could certainly be worse. The good news is we still don't have to lift a finger to fight the undead menace.

Storm 2



Let's feast again! Everybody loves a party.

Despite what the screenshot suggests, I threw a large feast. I always throw a large feast. If you have enough food to feast, you have enough to make it a large feast.

Sacred Time



Status update: we're looking pretty good. Alert readers will notice the new stockade on our tula.

Let's see our forecast for the year.



I like! I don't know what's with all of the terrible harvest years, but our omen is totally sweet.

Here's what's on the docket for this year:

• It's time to heroquest. Since last year, I learned that it's not actually necessary to perform "Making of the Storm Tribe" in advance; once you meet the other prerequisites for forming a tribe, you'll get the opportunity to perform that quest "for free." We can try to do some other quest, or we can perform that quest for a different benefit (e.g. making Insterid more awesome).
• To that end, we might want to allocate our mysteries sacrifices on someone who might teach us about a heroquest -- namely, Chalana Arroy, Elmal, Orlanth, Humakt, Issaries, or Uralda. (Lhankor Mhy has a heroquest, too, but he won't just tell you about it.)
• We can also call on a favor to ask another clan for heroquest details, just like they did to us recently. We don't get to choose which quest, and it can fail, but since we know so few, there's a good chance it'll work.
• In non-questing news, we need to pick a target to raid. If you have no specific preference, it'll be our current punching bag, the Herani.
• We need more farmers. I'll probably just recruit more unless you want me to try for Barntar's blessing (which is not a bad idea; it might conflict with other plans, though).
• It's always a good time to explore. Should we look close to home or far away? We explored our own tula last year, so I won't do that again unless someone really wants me to.
• Speaking of which, we found new crafting materials. I might do some reallocation later, but we need to solve the farmer situation first.

Putting two points each into Crops, Herds, Mysteries, Quests, and War will completely tap us out. I might leave a point off of Crops or Herds just so we have a positive magic balance.

Mysteries for a new quest from Humakt, then do that quest.

Raid the Blue Jays (unless that's a horrible idea; I don't remember who they were).

Might as well call on a favor and explore far away as well.

"Putting two points each into Crops, Herds, Mysteries, Quests, and War will completely tap us out. I might leave a point off of Crops or Herds just so we have a positive magic balance."

Okay, so leave a point off Herds and do the rest. I'm quite happy to raid anybody.

I should point out that I wouldn't normally bother leaving a point of magic around (even though most of your advisors recommend it). It's only because we're planning to quest that I care -- having a positive magic balance increases your luck.

Hey guys, I can finally get this game to run now! I'd had an issue where when I tried to launch the game the resolution would change but the game window would never appear. After getting in touch with GOG's support and doing some testing on my own I was able to get the game working. It turns out that Logitech's Setpoint software causes the issue that I was having. But now that I've disabled it I can finally get the game to run. Huzzah!

Hooray! Let's celebrate with a heroquest.

Year 1336, part 1



Here's our allocation for the year. I left a point off of Mysteries, since it's easy to work around.

Gerad requested the Humakt heroquest. We don't know that one yet, but we're gonna give it the old college try.

Sea 1



Haha wow. First try, you guys.

Sea 2



Let's do this.



I chose "strengthen the quester," since none of the options is likely to make an enormous difference. This will bump Insterid to Heroic-level Combat skill, which is cool.

As the summary suggests, "Humakt the Champion" tells the story of how death came into the world and what Humakt did with it. This is a pretty cool heroquest.



Eurmal found the weapon called Death, and stabbed Grandfather Mortal with it. Thanks for nothing, Eurmal.

This heroquest is not really clear on Insterid's gender, and it will only get worse.



Humakt is stone cold.



Humakt is hardcore.



Orlanth is optimistic.



Orlanth is the god of snappy retorts.



This quest involves a lot of combat.



Anyway, with the advent of death came unlife, and Humakt is the guy who cleans up after Eurmal's mess. Insterid is a good Humakt stand-in. Here's our new and improved Insterid:



Bam! All you lesser clans can suck it.

We may want to look into raising Yerestia's stats sooner or later, too. It'll be important later.

Other Options: Humakt the Champion

We saw one way through the quest, but many of the other options have a shot at success, too. Leaving the realm of the gods always ends your quest in failure, so it won't be mentioned below.

Eurmal: Waiting for Eurmal to show you the sword accomplishes nothing. Any of the other options can get the sword from Eurmal, even asking nicely (Eurmal determines that it must be a trick). None of the options has any negative repercussions, and you are very likely to succeed by trying until something works.

Cutting ties: It's possible to fail at this stage with any of the options, though the first is most likely to succeed. A Humakti who fails will lose his oath to Humakt, becoming an Orlanthi (if male) or Vingan (if female). Any quester who fails here will lose skills. Simply leaving the god-realm will not incur the harsh penalty. Attempting to proceed without cutting ties will cast the quester into limbo (more about that later).

Orlanth (Thrall): Orlanth will prevent you from leaving in this stage (and any of the others). It's possible through any of the options for Orlanth to convince the quester to relinquish the weapon; if this happens, the quester is taken as a thrall and never seen again. Otherwise, Orlanth will fight the quester, possibly wounding her and ending the quest in failure.

Orlanth (Cottar): If you take offense at being called a sheep-herding boy, Orlanth will convince the quester that there's nothing wrong with that. If you try to proceed, Orlanth reminds you, "You cannot go to the next thing, for the next thing is also me." (This is pretty great.) Willfully giving the sword to Orlanth during this stage will give you a treasure, the Silver Sheep, but it also counts as a failure, and incurs the same penalties mentioned in the second stage. Otherwise, Orlanth and the quester fight again, and again the quester can be wounded and fail.

Orlanth (Carl): If you succeed in convincing Orlanth that you will kill him, a terrible misfortune befalls the clan and the quester is tossed into limbo. Trying to proceed has the same result here as in the cottar stage (even if it's only half-true here). The other options can result in Orlanth convincing the quester to give him the sword, or they can result in another fight.

Undead: Giving the sword to Orlanth will cause him to pronounce you a weaponthane -- better than a carl, but still a failure in this quest. Orlanth will not prevent you from leaving in this stage, though your magic will suffer if you do. Claiming that only you can fight the undead will cause the undead to regroup while you're talking, making the combat more difficult. Promising blood to Humakt will increase your odds of success at the cost of some of your worshippers' lives. If you've made it this far, you probably don't need the help.

Alternate rewards: If you chose a treasure, you get to choose which one you get. The treasures are generally combat-related, but none of them is game-changing. We might grab one of them if we do this quest again.

In other news

Randella, a trader of the Isolting clan, comes to your tula in an effort to restore her reputation. "It pains me to even speak of this matter, but there is another trader, Enfrew of the Osgosi clan, who has been spreading the most outrageous lies about me. He says that I suck the blood of other clans' babies. I have come to assure you that I have done no such thing, and to warn you that Enfrew will lie about you, too, if it suits his purpose."

Yerestia: Our relations with Randella's clan are very bad, but we are engaged in an outright feud with Enfrew's people. We should beat him, to curry favor with the Isoltings. Recommends #4.
Harvar: Randella is well-respected as an honest trader. Enfrew is a complaining son of a pig who is so annoying you give in to him just to get rid of him. Recommends #4.
Insterid: We are stronger than Enfrew's clan, and can beat their traders with impunity. Recommends #4.
Iskalli: Let me question her. I will determine the truth. Recommends #1.
Valensta: Each clan sanctions its traders to do business on behalf of the clan ring; each trader serves as an emissary for his clan. No recommendation.
Arene: The people believe Randella, and want to see Enfrew punished. Recommends #4.
Heortarl: I don't have an opinion on this. No recommendation.
Mogri: It's very nearly unanimous, and I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say, but let's vote anyway.

There are two versions of this event; it's possible for either of the traders to be the liar. The other trader might instead claim that she...

• practices evil magics
• arranges for her kinfolk to steal back the goods she trades away
• manufactures counterfeit treasures
• encourages the brides of other clans to engage in adultery, shaming Ernalda
• harbors notorious outlaws in her stead
• dumps poison into the Creekstream River

Babysucking is perhaps the most creative option.

Insterid, how do you be so awesome?

Let's beat the crap out of Enfrew. Babysucking is a serious matter that should not be lied about.

five

You weren't expecting that! Were you?

I kinda want to query her more closely before going ahead with the fight.

For one, it's weird that she's asking *us* to go beat up another clan instead of asking her clan to do it themselves, so it's possible that something's being made up here.

She's not asking us to do anything. I mean, yeah, given the tendencies of our clan's advisory committee, it's a predictable outcome, but she never explicitly asked for it.

Four. Enfrew is a stupid name.

She's seems nice and all but in a world where we eat duck grown wheat, anything is possible.
#1

So... I may have lost power again. Shouldn't be a big deal to redo the quest, but the event is probably hosed.

Also, in my own game, I hero quested and got my thane killed by a cow. Tis a strange world.

WTB Mogri a generator...

Year 1336, part 2

So we lost that event. Sorry about that! Your donations to the Buy Mogri a UPS fund are greatly appreciated.

In any case, I redid the heroquest and had a heck of a time with it. We must have gotten very lucky the first time, because on half of my attempts this time, Insterid was like, "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to not let my family die," or "Hmm Orlanth makes a good point."



But eventually, it went through again. Now, it's raiding time. With a Humakt heroquest and a crazy good omen on our side, we can't fail.



As such, I don't bother messing with the battle settings or allocating any magic.



Victory! And we didn't even have to bribe our new allies, the Karandoli, this time.



And now for the "gripe about current events," here's Arene.



Suddenly, a cattle raid! When you spot a cattle raid attempt, the stakes are a lot lower -- relatively few warriors are involved.



That's bad news for us, since it means we can't leverage the full extent of our military might. We lose some of the spoils of our previous battle.



To make up for it, let's raid whoever these other chumps are. This can't possibly go wrong!



Grumble grumble



Oh my. We are at a moderate numbers disadvantage. I pump a point of magic and sacrifice to Humakt. Can never be too careful, you know.



Wh-

what

OK, this is obviously really bad -- we've never lost a battle this badly -- but let me explain just how bad it is. Not only do we lose a few weaponthanes (and I was already going to recruit more) and a lot of farmers (and I will now need to recruit more), but we also have to ransom the captives. This sucks.



That's a lot of goods.

And we're going to pay it, because clan morale absolutely tanks if you don't.



Nnnngggghhhh

NEXT ITEM OF BUSINESS: Rebuild the army

But first



Good news: free weaponthanes!

Two unknown people come to you seeking temporary refuge. They seem to be foreigners; they do not know the proper greetings, and speak only the trade language. Their clothes are tattered, and it is hard to say where they come from. "We need food, place to stay. Will fight. Fight bravely for you, especially from horseback. Will stay for ten, fifteen seasons, no more."

Yerestia: I would be proud to adopt them. Recommends #3.
Harvar: Some of the people are fearful of strangers. No recommendation.
Insterid: We could use more warriors. Recommends #1.
Iskalli: They are not Orlanthi. It would be very unusual to make them Orlanthi. Recommends anything but #4.
Valensta: If Yerestia sponsors them, we will be respected for our generosity. Recommends #3.
Arene: If we are to make them guests, we will have to perform a Guest Ceremony. Someone will have to sponsor them; that person and his kin must take full responsibility for the guests' actions. No recommendation.
Heortarl: Foreigners talk funny, and are easy prey for pranks. Let us welcome them! Recommends #1.
Mogri: No one has any objections, and Yerestia is willing to sponsor them.

Heortarl will be back soon after completing mandatory sensitivity training.

Man, Morgri, where do you live that the power goes out every 2 days?

Anyway, let's find a volunteer to take these two on. No reason our chief should have to deal with them, she's got other things to worry about.

I used to live in the Austin area, where we'd get tornados a few times a month and not bat an eye. Now I live in the Seattle area, where you lose power when the wind blows. True story: the wife wanted to go to Red Robin on Saturday, but when we drove there, we found that the entire city of Woodinville had no power. Still out the next morning, too. I think they got it restored late yesterday. We ended up going to Olive Garden, which is running a promotion where you pay $12.99 for your choice of an entree from a short list for here and another one to go. $6.50 is, like, a meal at McDonalds. It's a pretty good deal.

Our power only went out for a couple of seconds. The computer can usually handle a flicker, but anything longer than a few microseconds will put it out of commission.

They're pretty good meals, too. I figured it'd be kid portions, but no. Throw in the bottomless salad and breadsticks and it's basically three meals for less than you'd pay for one of their regular entrees.

3. No real reason.

I'd let the Chief take 'em if she wants them! Option 3

1. They don't want to stay longer, so there's no reason to make them, but extra weapons are always useful.

3. Charity begins at home.

Year 1336, part 3

Previously on Let's Play King of Dragon Pass: We got taken for all we're worth.

And now the thrilling conclusion.



New weaponthanes! A demonstration of the Orlanthi virtues of hospitality and generosity! Everybody's happy!

Earth 1

What I would have loved to do this month: recruit weaponthanes.

What I forgot: recruiting weaponthanes costs three goods apiece.

What we have: 20 goods.

So I could've recruited six new weaponthanes, but during the harvest months, it's not extremely pressing. Instead, let's address our other immediate need.



Give me your hungry, your poor, anyone who can use a plow and a sword. Bring your kids if you must.

Thrillingly



As if we weren't embarrassed enough by our recent failure, here's the Karandoli rubbing it in our faces again.

Yerestia: Relations between our two clans are poor. It will be hard to persuade them of anything. Recommends #1 or #5.
Harvar: I am confident that I can bargain down their ransom. Recommends #3.
Insterid: I am confident that I can lead a successful war party. It will be easier to take Rakstanti hostages than to recover our own. Recommends #5.
Iskalli: Although it is contrary to precedent, the Rakstanti may feel justified in killing the hostages if we don't pay the ransom. Recommends #2 or #3.
Valensta: Pay the ransom and be done with it. We can well afford it. Recommends #2.
Arene: Pay the ransom and be done with it. We can well afford it. She might be mocking Valensta.
Heortarl: Tell them that if they do not release the hostages, I will come over and drool on their old women, in a way they do not wish to be drooled upon. No recommendation.
Mogri: In what way did the old women want to be drooled on, exactly?
Heortarl: These are secrets known only to Eurmal.

This event is completely new to me!

Let's have a war party. Insterid can handle it. 5.

Yeah, number five.

Odd that poetry isn't an option, for once. Or was it until your power went out again, Mogri? If that's even your real name.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Paying ransom is such a bad idea.

5. Insterid always knows what's up.