Top 50 Pokémon: Rainbow Rocket blasts off again!

[JBear]

Somebody please explain: Why was this even in Legends: Arceus?

I feel like I'm missing a bit, but if you actually wanted an answer: it shows up exclusively in rifts in space/time, so you can kind of jam any Pokemon in there that you want with a bit of hand-waving.

Also: Porygon looks like it'd be about as fun to pet as petting a car, or a computer.

 

[Mogri]

I feel like I'm missing a bit, but if you actually wanted an answer: it shows up exclusively in rifts in space/time, so you can kind of jam any Pokemon in there that you want with a bit of hand-waving.

Also: Porygon looks like it'd be about as fun to pet as petting a car, or a computer.

No, not a bit. It didn't make sense to me for lore reasons, but if there's time travel shenanigans, I guess you can get away with anything. (I learned recently that XD introduced a few gen 4 mons ahead of time -- this would've been a great way to introduce some gen 9ers.)

 

[Mogri]

31st
#415 Combee
Tiny Bee Pokémon
Bug / Flying
First Discovered: Sinnoh Region (Gen IV, Diamond/Pearl)
Score: 67 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 8th (Daikaiju)​

Three Pokémon joined to become one. It busily carries sweet nectar to Vespiquen.

The next Pokémon on Piers’s team is Combee. A female Combee evolves into Vespiquen, but if I’m not mistaken, this one is male. Male Combee do not evolve and have stats comparable to Magikarp. Oh, and this one's shiny!

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Yeah, this is one that can be hard to evolve due to a low percentage of spawns being the required gender (though not as bad as Salandit which has the same issues and is only found in eggs taken off GO Rocket Leaders). Shiny female Combee are an especially rare prize. But uh, not for their prowess as Combee, that’s for sure.

 

[RT-55J]

just look at those three adorable little smiles JUST LOOK AT THEM

: )
: D
: )

 

[Falselogic]

What if you're allergic to Combees?!

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Fanart I need: The end of the Wicker Man 2006 with Combees.

 

[Mogri]

27th (tie)
#700 Sylveon
Intertwining Pokémon
Fairy
First Discovered: Kalos Region (Gen VI, X/Y)
Score: 74 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 10th (Rascally Badger)​

By releasing enmity-erasing waves from its ribbonlike feelers, Sylveon stops any conflict.

Oh, it’s Sylveon! Sylveon is an incredible defensive or support Pokémon: it has good HP, excellent Sp. Defense, and the Wish move to recover health for itself or a teammate. But it’s also got offensive presence thanks to the Pixilate ability, which turns Normal-type moves like the powerful Hyper Voice into Fairy-type moves and gives them a 20% power boost on top of the same-type bonus. Sylveon has a very respectable Sp. Attack stat, so a Hyper Voice from Sylveon is stronger than a Hyper Beam from a Mew, and a Hyper Beam from an offensively-built Sylveon is strong enough to knock out almost anything that doesn’t resist it. Almost makes you want to use Hyper Beam!

It’s an improvement, I suppose, but it’s not striking fear into the hearts of your enemies.

Ah, we waited a long time for the Fairy-type Eeveelution! In GO you have to get a lot of hearts with it as your buddy to evolve, which I guess is similar to that Friendship stat you have over here. Also since we don’t have Status in GO, some moves are very different - like Charm, which oddly is a high-damage fast move. Sylveon here is a great user of it in some leagues, on top of just being a really fun design.

Trans icon, good ribbon boy.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Fanart I need: The end of the Wicker Man 2006 with Combees.

Noooo! Not the Combees! They're too cute! I can't handle it!

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Cuddling me won't bring back your goddamned donuts.

 

[RT-55J]

Not my personal favorite eeveelution, but a rather solid one nonetheless

 

[Mogri]

27th (tie)
#079 Slowpoke
Dopey Pokémon
Water / Psychic
First Discovered: Kanto Region (Gen I, Red/Blue/Green)
Score: 74 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 4th (Adrenaline)​

It lazes vacantly near water. If something bites its tail, it won't even notice for a whole day.

It’s your favorite dopey boy and mine, Slowpoke!

This is an insult! He’s referencing that ill-conceived Team Rocket plan of harvesting and selling Slowpoke tails.

Slowpoke tail is huge in Alola. We must have had it once a week growing up. You can get them in any Alolan grocery store.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Alolan home cooking involves drying Slowpoke tails and then simmering them into a salty stew.

Then why did everyone get up in arms when we tried it in Johto?

Differing cultural norms, I suppose.

Man, this is just rubbing salt into the wound. Hey, you! Grunts! Get this disgrace out of my sight, then fetch me some Slowpoke stew.

We’ve got a cool shirt with a wraparound slowpoke print and a slowpoke tail sewn on the back.

It me.

 

[RT-55J]

Wow. A rare Pokedex entry that broaches the subject of Pokemon edibility.

 

[JBear]

We’ve got a cool shirt with a wraparound slowpoke print and a slowpoke tail sewn on the back.

It's been long enough now that I forget the specifics, but I know that at one point my SO jumped through a bunch of hoops to unlock a Slowpoke shirt in GO, and instead of the cool shirt that the game was implying that she'd get, it gave her this awful terrifying Slowpoke ourobouros shirt instead and left the good one behind a paywall.

 

[Adrenaline]

I love the idea of a creature so imbecilic that still found a niche in the ecosystem where it could survive.

 

[Falselogic]

I love Slowpoke. I've just got a soft spot for dumb pokemans.

It's been long enough now that I forget the specifics, but I know that at one point my SO jumped through a bunch of hoops to unlock a Slowpoke shirt in GO, and instead of the cool shirt that the game was implying that she'd get, it gave her this awful terrifying Slowpoke ourobouros shirt instead and left the good one behind a paywall.

I wish this was a real shirt. I'd wear it.

 

[Kirin]

There's actually a lot of shirts in GO I'd wear IRL, but mostly the only ones that actually exist are the yearly GO-Fest shirts (several of which I do in fact have and wear).

The other thing I (now) love about Slowpoke is that its Galar version can evolve into a Mega Man or a Dark Wizard. But those are different species.

 

[That Old Chestnut]

I love the idea of a creature so imbecilic that still found a niche in the ecosystem where it could survive.

I love Slowpoke. I've just got a soft spot for dumb pokemans.

On a related note, Slowking is one of my favorite mons because I've always like the idea of a creature that's something of an underdog realizing its full potential. Something too slow to register pain correctly can now go toe to toe with the best thinkers out there. I could see one getting into a philosophical discussion with Mewtwo about the nature of their existence, possibly even talking Mewtwo out of going all murder-happy on the world just because it was grown in a lab.

What I'm trying to say is give Slowking its own series.

 

[Mogri]

Intermission 2: Guzma vs Piers​

So what happens now?

I don’t care. Give this round to the kid from Alola.

He doesn’t look particularly pleased, though. I think he was really hoping to show you what he could do.

Well, that’s obviously not happening in this matchup! Did you check what level the other team’s Pokémon were?

No. Let’s see… Ah. They’re all level 5 except Sylveon, who’s level 20.

The kid will just have to give us a show in round 2. I’m not debasing this tournament with a fight against that team.

Aww, I wanted to see Combee and Sewaddle try to take on Hydreigon!

*glares*

Shutting up now…

 

[Mogri]

Let us never speak of this again.

You’re the boss. Who’s on deck?

Prepare for trouble…

Make it double!

To – oh, the boss looks really angry.

To unite all peoples in our nation!

Hey! Pay attention!

Oh! Are we not doing the introduction?

I think we’re better off laying low this time.

Judging by their outfits, I think it’s safe to assume these are our Team Rocket representatives. Why are there two of them?

Jessie and James. They’re inseparable for some reason.

Well, let’s see what they’ve brought, shall we?

27th (tie)
#302 Sableye
Darkness Pokémon
Dark / Ghost
First Discovered: Hoenn Region (Gen III, Ruby/Sapphire)
Score: 74 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 5th (Peklo)​

It hides in the darkness of caves. Its diet of gems has transformed its eyes into gemstones.

Oh, it’s Sableye! You know, you can’t see Sableye’s mouth until it Mega Evolves, but when it does, it looks a lot like Stitch from that Disney movie. Dark/Ghost is a fantastic typing: before Fairy was discovered, Sableye had no weaknesses. Sableye is not a powerhouse, exactly, but it makes up for lackluster stats with fantastic abilities. Sableye has Prankster, allowing its non-damaging moves to go first, and Mega Sableye has Magic Bounce, which reflects most non-damaging moves. Galarian battling rules disallow Mega Evolution, but Sableye had its time in the sun for a good while.

Good. A return to form.

Sableye is a pretty great ghost to use in the Battle League if you catch a Shadow one from GO Rockets and then purify it so it learns the move Return. Also last Halloween we got a cool one with a candle hat. I hear over in the world of Pokémon Unite, they get really cool full-body costumes for their Pokémon. We mostly just get hats. But Sableye’s was at least a really good hat.

 

[pudik]

nice, i think this is the first one i had on my list. Just a perfect little guy

 

[Peklo]

I simply cannot refuse a critter so lovingly based on the Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter accounts.

 

[Mogri]

Jessie! The boss is looking his normal amount of angry now.

Hmm, you’re right. Let’s put our plan into action!

Hey! What are you–

27th (tie)
#609 Chandelure
Luring Pokémon
Ghost / Fire
First Discovered: Unova Region (Gen V, Black/White)
Score: 74 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 5th (Kirin)​

Being consumed in Chandelure's flame burns up the spirit, leaving the body behind.

Chandelure is the best because it’s a ghost, and you can’t hit ghosts!

It’s cute, and it’s spooky!

Chandelure can eat up Fire-type attacks and grow stronger! It’s true! And it’s already strong enough to knock out anything in one hit!

We only tested it against a bunch of bugs, but still! It’s so strong, it’s sca-a-ary!

I don’t know if I should be angry at you for hijacking my announcer or at myself for not expecting this to happen.

Chandelure is awesome. It’s a bit squishy for Battle League, but high DPS and a fantastic move pool make it a great glass cannon as both a Fire *and* a Ghost attacker for use in raid battles. For years it’s been a bit rare (as Litwick usually only spawns for Halloween or other Fall season events) but we just got a long-awaited Community Day event for it, letting trainers stock up and also introducing its gorgeous shiny version.

Spooky lighting fixture ftw

 

[Falselogic]

Jessie is right. It is CUTE and SPOOKY

 

[Mogri]

24th (tie)
#150 Mewtwo
Genetic Pokémon
Psychic
First Discovered: Kanto Region (Gen I, Red/Blue/Green)
Score: 76 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 2nd (WildcatJF)​

Mewtwo is a Pokémon that was created by genetic manipulation. However, even though the scientific power of humans created this Pokémon's body, they failed to endow Mewtwo with a compassionate heart.

It’s the strongest Pokémon in the world! And it’s ours!

Ooh! I’ve got chills just thinking about it!

How did you get your hands on this? You’ve actually impressed me this time.

That’s our secret!

We can’t tell!

Jesse and James have a Mewtwo now?? Dang. This pair did show up in our world once or twice, I think they were trying to kidnap a Celebi but… they weren’t super effective. Mewtwo though, wow. Pretty sure it’s a big deal anywhere it shows up. The first concept trailer for the Raid Battle feature in GO visualized an epic showdown with Mewtwo in Times Square. With its special move Psystrike it’s still the strongest Pokémon in the game in raw DPS. It’s so strong it’s even good against some raids not weak to its own type, which hardly ever happens in GO.

… hang on, I was distracted by cool Pokémon, why are the competitors in the booth looking smug and where’s Anna?

 

[pudik]

ah, Chandelure another i had listed. Kind of surprised it's even this low, though it wasn't that high on my list. I just thought it a deserving fan favorite.

 

[Mogri]

24th (tie)
#052 Meowth
Scratch Cat Pokémon
Normal
First Discovered: Kanto Region (Gen I, Red/Blue/Green)
Score: 76 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 1st (WildcatJF)​

It loves coins, so if you give it one, you can make friends with Meowth easily. But it's fickle, so you can't count on that friendship lasting.

…that’s right!

The gang’s all together now!

You’re sending Meowth into battle?

What?! Now, hang on. We agreed you wouldn’t do this to me again.

We did! But now we’re in a pickle.

We need a team of six, you know!

Nuh-uh. If you need a team of six so bad, one o’ you’s gotta step in. I’m out!

Hey! Get back here!

I told you this would happen.

I hope you’ve got a backup plan.

Uhhhhh, yeah. Our Meowths don’t talk? Not sure what that’s about. But I don’t blame it for not wanting to step into this league, it’d probably have trouble. Now its evolution though… you might underestimate it, but Giovanni’s Shadow Persian can be extremely dangerous and chew through your Pokémon before you know what’s going on.

Damn straight it can. Only one I can rely on around here.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I voted because of the Meowth on the cartoon show.

Also, it occurs to me this is probably the only one named in English what it is named BECAUSE of the cartoon show. Otherwise it doesn't make sense to call a non-talking cat Meowth.

 

[Torzelbaum]

These are all nice 'mons and I even considered some of them but they ultimately didn't make my list.

I voted because of the Meowth on the cartoon show.

Also, it occurs to me this is probably the only one named in English what it is named BECAUSE of the cartoon show. Otherwise it doesn't make sense to call a non-talking cat Meowth.

*shocked and dumbfounded realization*

 

[RT-55J]

Meowth was the earliest proof that Pokemon is best when they can actually talk.

 

[Mogri]

*shocked and dumbfounded realization*

I'm curious if this is actually true, though. I thought the games predated the show. Bulbapedia is silent on the subject but does helpfully mention that "Gigantamax Meowth may be based on the long-cat meme."